WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.279 Reverence at the reading of Word of God. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:16.640 Pastor Brian's going to be preaching out of Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22 through 33. 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:19.839 This is the word of God. 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:25.519 Wives, be subjects to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:33.439 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the Savior of the body. 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:40.799 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their own to their husbands in everything. 00:00:41.119 --> 00:01:05.680 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:09.680 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. 00:01:09.840 --> 00:01:13.680 He who loves his own wife loves himself. 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:23.840 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body. 00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:31.200 For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:38.000 This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reverence to Christ reference to Christ and the Church. 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:47.519 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife, even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.920 This is the word of God, you may be seated. 00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:51.599 Brian, may you please come? 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:11.599 Well, as we've been going through Ephesians, no doubt this is the passage that you've all been waiting for on behalf of your spouse. 00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:18.479 Father, lead and guide us. 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:20.400 We pray in this time. 00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:22.479 Be glorified. 00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:26.240 We thank you for the gift of marriage. 00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:33.199 We thank you that you show us what it's about and the ultimate purpose. 00:02:34.879 --> 00:02:36.719 Humble us, Father. 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:42.080 Create in us a heart that desires truth. 00:02:43.199 --> 00:02:46.159 An application of that truth has been prayed. 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:48.319 We pray this in Christ's name. 00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:49.280 Amen. 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:59.759 Well, today, as we come to this passage, I would probably call this the most important passage in all the Bible when it comes to marriage. 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:08.879 I know that's kind of a big statement given what I would say is the frequency and uh uh importance, if you will, of marriage in the scriptures. 00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:10.159 And so I say that. 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:15.039 I know that the book of Genesis, for example, establishes marriage. 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:18.240 And it gives us the framework, if you will. 00:03:18.319 --> 00:03:21.120 We see numerous examples of marriage in the Old Testament. 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:24.719 Some good, others not so much. 00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:27.439 We have numerous teachings in the New Testament on it. 00:03:27.520 --> 00:03:42.719 But here in Ephesians, we find not only what I would say is the greatest description of the roles in marriage, we actually find what the ultimate purpose for marriage is, along with how that therefore informs our roles and responsibilities before God and with each other. 00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:53.759 So, yeah, verse, these 12 verses I would say are monumental for us to understand and wonderful to seek and to apply to our lives. 00:03:54.639 --> 00:04:03.120 So it is for the next two weeks we're going to see multiple ways in which God has designed our lives to be in this society. 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:08.639 But we begin today with this relationship called marriage. 00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:15.680 As we begin, I want to speak for a moment on the fact that it is, as I've said, God alone that created marriage. 00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:23.680 As we see in Genesis chapter 2, our Lord established, created, and even ordained this wonderful institution. 00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:38.240 What we read in Genesis chapter 2 and 18 to 24 is that God has decided in his sovereignty to create a suitable helper, is what he says, a suitable helper for the man that he had already created. 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:43.519 A person who would end up being the perfect fit, a woman. 00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:46.319 The opposite gender. 00:04:46.959 --> 00:04:50.639 In that passage, we see uh same thing in the animal kingdom. 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:56.000 Uh an opposite gender, suitable helper to complete him. 00:04:56.959 --> 00:05:07.439 And as that phrase, suitable helper, obviously implies to be his helper, but also his partner, his confidant, if you will, his best friend, I think if we can draw from the rest of the Bible. 00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:15.120 His companion through thick and thin, his very flesh, as Genesis 2.24 says. 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:20.560 And Paul also quotes it in our text that Matt just got done reading in verse 31. 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:25.120 So God created the institution of marriage. 00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:28.639 And you could say he even performed the first wedding ceremony. 00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:46.160 And so I want to say right here off the bat, given that God is the one who created all things, including marriage, he alone, he alone, therefore gets to set the boundaries and the blessings for marriage. 00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:52.959 This is vitally important for us to understand in our day and age, in our culture, out of our text for today. 00:05:54.800 --> 00:06:06.639 We have to remember, of course, of course, an evil and secular culture will always want to distort and to create their own version of anything God has created. 00:06:07.040 --> 00:06:11.439 They don't want what God has created because it is so good and right. 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:21.040 So they choose to either just deny his good creation or they decide to distort it to allow for their own perversions. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:27.120 Today we have one glaring example of that called homosexuality. 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:34.399 Let me tell you something about this definition is according to God, that's not marriage. 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:35.040 Okay? 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:39.439 That's just two sinners living together in sin, practicing sin. 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:42.240 They need the Lord Jesus. 00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:55.600 You see, what's so disturbing about people of the same gender pretending to be married in our culture, calling it the same as what God has created, is that it's not just that it's wrong in that sense, it's that they're actually rejecting God. 00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:58.160 That's why it's so massive. 00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:09.600 They're rejecting God in his good design, and it actually becomes, and this is the key, it actually becomes a distortion of the beautiful picture of what true marriage is to reflect. 00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:10.480 You see? 00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:18.720 As we're going to speak of it length today, ultimately speaking, our marriages are really a picture of Christ and his bride, the church. 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:20.879 That's what it is. 00:07:21.839 --> 00:07:28.079 That's also why any of you who are in here today who are not married, this passage is still for you. 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:30.720 If you're in Christ because you're part of the bride. 00:07:30.959 --> 00:07:32.000 Praise God. 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:41.040 But that's why anything, anything that is outside of what God has spoken, anything out of the side of those confines is not only sinful but abhorrent to God. 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:49.360 And the Bible goes on to tell us it's disgusting and disturbing to allow his holy creation to be forsaken like this. 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:53.120 It needs to be repented of, and God is gracious to forgive. 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.000 Now I know what you're thinking, maybe. 00:07:56.079 --> 00:07:58.720 I kind of sound a little passionate about this. 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:01.279 Well, there's a reason for that. 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:22.480 You see, I would say if you want to tear down the building blocks of us of a society, if you want to persecute the people of God, if you want to pervert justice and righteousness, if you want to express your displeasure or hatred of God, there may be no more strikingly evil way to do it than with marriage. 00:08:25.279 --> 00:08:35.600 That's why, I would say, that's why we must see the current societal debate on marriage not just merely as a political one, but a theological one. 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:39.759 Theological, meaning the study of God. 00:08:40.879 --> 00:08:55.039 When the state, the Supreme Court, or the legislative branches of our nation dabble in defining, or we should say redefining marriage, what they're attempting to do is dabble in theology, which must be reserved for the church. 00:08:55.360 --> 00:08:59.600 The secular government has no place in interpreting theological truth for people. 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:02.320 That's for the church, the faithful church to do. 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:14.720 And so what we find is that since God created marriage and then subsequently described its function and purpose, when the governing authorities begin to mess with that good design, they're acting like theologians, and guess what? 00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:16.879 That's always gonna result in evil. 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:25.840 Unless it is thus saith the Lord, the building blocks of society will crumble under the weight of that kind of evil. 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:29.279 And we're gonna talk more about that next week, so stay tuned. 00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:42.720 But here's the thing: we also have to understand that so many times in our culture we just we look at that which disturbs the institution of marriage that God has created, and we just say, well, that's their choice. 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:44.960 It's not. 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:47.440 The whole community is affected. 00:09:47.679 --> 00:09:52.960 Our nation is now affected, and as Romans 1 says, we'll be under God's judgment for it. 00:09:55.360 --> 00:10:03.120 You see, what I'm saying is if you want to disrupt God's good plan for humanity, you begin with disrupting marriage. 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:05.200 Evil starts there. 00:10:05.360 --> 00:10:08.480 And I would say to some extent, that's what happened in the garden. 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:11.600 This goes back to the early days. 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:20.240 Ultimately, Satan, of course, wanted to bring sin and death and destruction into God's good creation out of a hatred for God, but in what way did he do this? 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:21.600 He began by doing what? 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:24.399 Did God really say, right? 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:25.519 That's how he starts. 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:29.840 Now we know the results of that eternal, you know, treachery. 00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:31.600 We feel it today. 00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:35.360 But what was immediately affected by this? 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:40.399 Genesis 2.24 says, this is the last verse of the second chapter of Genesis 2. 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:48.480 It says, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh, and the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed. 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:52.159 Okay, that's on the tail end of God establishing that marriage, okay? 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:54.960 Very next verse, chapter 3, verse 1. 00:10:55.200 --> 00:11:00.559 Very next verse, first verse, first three verse, first three words, wow, tongue twister there. 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:05.759 It says, now, okay, next, now the serpent. 00:11:06.879 --> 00:11:09.519 So God creates marriage, it's this beautiful thing. 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.039 They're not ashamed at all of each other in any way. 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:16.080 Very next thing, here comes the serpent. 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:20.559 It doesn't go on to say that the serpent tempted Adam to collect wealth. 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:23.120 It doesn't say that he tempted Adam with hobbies or fame. 00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:26.000 In fact, it wasn't Adam at all initially, was it? 00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:39.200 Satan, that wily serpent, went right for Eve while Adam stood by and watched, failing to lead, failing to protect, failing to stand in front of his wife as he's supposed to. 00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:44.080 You see, we dare not say that Satan was attacking only marriage here. 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:47.519 He was attacking God and his good and perfect truth in creation. 00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:53.200 But one of the things that I would say is the most immediately affected is the institution of marriage. 00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:55.360 Think about what it just said in 2.24. 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:57.200 They were naked and not ashamed. 00:11:57.360 --> 00:11:59.200 Right after the fall, what happened? 00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:01.360 They became ashamed. 00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:05.200 Adam fails to lead, he fails to protect his wife. 00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:09.759 Eve stands in the place where she's not supposed to, the place of leadership. 00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:16.639 So much affected by the fall, and marriage is one right there at the beginning. 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:23.679 All over the pages of the Bible we see marriages just being destroyed, families devastated. 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:33.200 And you can bet that the serpent, the evil one, is right there, seeking to lie and convince to destroy this wonderful institution. 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:45.360 And if the devil is that intent on destroying marriages we're gonna see today, or as we see in our culture today, I should say, then that must mean that this is something God highly values. 00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:47.120 And so should we. 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:57.679 So with that said, as a kind of a backdrop, I just want to say, what is marriage? 00:12:58.159 --> 00:12:59.840 What is marriage there for? 00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:15.759 I would say, in its simplest definition, it is the covenant union of two people who come together before a holy God and other witnesses to confess their lifelong commitment of being one inseparable flesh in God's grace. 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:23.200 Again, that's why we cannot join with the world and live according to what it says marriage is. 00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:29.679 In fact, in states like ours in Oregon, they don't even know how to define marriage. 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:31.679 Let alone a proof of what is right. 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:32.720 We have to. 00:13:32.879 --> 00:13:39.600 The church has to define marriage and live it out rightly before a holy God and a watching people. 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:45.679 Marriage is the greatest relationship on earth. 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:47.840 I know you love your kids. 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.759 Your grandkids, especially. 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:56.639 No other relationship can compare to the relationship of the one flesh union. 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:00.720 There's so much that can be said. 00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:03.200 But I do want us to dive into the text. 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:07.039 Let's be blessed by what our Lord has spoken through the Apostle Paul. 00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:12.639 I want to point your attention first, though, to verse 32 of our text for today. 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:17.120 This is our theme, because as I said a moment ago, it is the theme of marriage. 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:20.080 It brings immense weight to bear upon the relationship. 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:26.799 It brings glory to God, and it is definitely for our good that it's not about us in every way of life. 00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:28.080 It shouldn't be about us. 00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:29.600 It's about Christ. 00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:33.039 And in this context, it's about Christ and his bride. 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:38.320 Paul says there the mystery is great, but I'm speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:48.559 There is so much in the Bible about marriage, so much commanded, shown through the Word of God, how to treat one another, what the function is, why to get married, and on and on it goes. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:51.519 But it's all under the umbrella. 00:14:51.679 --> 00:15:00.879 It's all a foreshadowing of the perfect reality, the divine covenant of the bridegroom, Christ, and his bride, the church. 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:03.919 And yeah, that includes us right here at Prairie Baptist. 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:05.120 Praise be to God. 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:10.320 So with that said, look at verse 21. 00:15:10.960 --> 00:15:12.320 Just remember that's the theme. 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.320 But verse 21, I know this is from last week's passage. 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:28.159 But what it says there is that as Paul is tailing on the end of the unity needed in the church and the bride of Christ and the local church, he says in verse 21, do ensure that you're in submission to one another. 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:34.000 Now, whether we like it or not, submission is a biblical theme and a glorious truth. 00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:43.120 We are to submit our preferences, our traditions, our time, our energies to one another out of fear of Christ, it says there and a love for one another. 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:45.440 Okay, very next verse. 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:47.200 Our first verse for today. 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:48.320 Wives. 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:50.559 Here we go. 00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:51.679 Ready? 00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:57.039 Be subject or be in submission to your husbands. 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:08.799 Now, yes, this passage is one that causes the world to yell, to scream, to be very upset about, and even causes some people in the church to feel uneasy as it's studied. 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:11.759 But here's the thing. 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:14.159 I remind you, God knows everything. 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:14.639 Okay? 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:21.840 God knows exactly how we are to function and what roles are to be in the home and in the church because he prescribed them. 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:25.039 Man cannot improve on that. 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:31.120 If we try, destruction is the result, always. 00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:33.759 If we try to improve on God's good design. 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:35.759 So what does it mean? 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:44.480 To first answer that, I think we have to look at Jesus Christ and the Godhead in general as a whole. 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:51.840 Jesus is the perfect bridegroom, the perfect husband, and at the same time, he is the perfect example of humble submission. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:52.720 Here's what I mean. 00:16:52.960 --> 00:17:04.480 By his willingness to come and take on human flesh, to live the life that we could not, to die the death that we deserve, he shows us in that what perfect submission looks like. 00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:10.079 And in that, he shows us submission is not a bad thing. 00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:19.680 In fact, it is his joy to submit to the Father and bring him glory by becoming incarnate and establishing the new covenant in the gospel. 00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:31.359 You see, Jesus, it's almost like we speak about it like he drew the short straw in the council in heaven in eternity past, when it was determined that God was going to create and therefore save a people. 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:32.240 That's not how it went. 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:32.880 No, no. 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:42.640 He willingly, lovingly, joyfully, compassionately chose to do what is necessary to save his people, his bride, his church. 00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:49.839 In our current culture, the word submission, we talked about this a little bit in Sunday school, is almost seen as a bad word. 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:53.359 Like we should cover our mouths in embarrassment when it's spoken. 00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:58.559 But as Jesus Himself shows us, submission is a glorious thing. 00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:02.640 That is not only an earthly reality, but a heavenly joy. 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:06.720 That's where we must land. 00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:19.279 Okay, with that established, I feel the need to communicate one important thing to note when we go over any of the commands regarding marriage or roles in marriage from our passage here, and that is that is this. 00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:24.319 That either spouse does not have the right to demand any of these things. 00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:29.599 A husband cannot demand that a wife submits to him. 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:30.480 Why? 00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:34.160 Because she does so out of her love for God. 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:38.079 Look at verse 22. 00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:44.160 Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. 00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:49.599 As to the Lord, which by the way is way more significant and weightier anyhow. 00:18:50.799 --> 00:19:04.480 And so we could even say, therefore, that the measure by which a wife submits to her husband, or the measure by which a husband loves and leads his wife, is indicative of one measure of his or her faithfulness and devotion to God Himself. 00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:11.599 Okay, so at the same time, this is the same with all of the other commands for marital living. 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:13.680 We do it out of loving obedience for God. 00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:16.640 The spouse ends up being a benefactor of that obedience. 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:22.480 The wife cannot demand her husband to lead well, he cannot demand that she respect him, and on and on the list goes. 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.359 Guess what happens when we do demand of each other? 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:27.759 It gets ugly, doesn't it? 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:31.920 Only God demands these things from us, and we live in obedience. 00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:45.039 Now that doesn't mean that we shouldn't expect or hope for it in an eternal hope kind of way, given that God has commanded it, nor does it mean that we can't lovingly hold each other accountable in our marriages when we fail. 00:19:45.279 --> 00:19:46.720 We need to do that. 00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:54.559 But to demand from a position of anger or cold-hearted accusation, that's when you stepped outside of this. 00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:57.680 We see that all the time, is why I mention that. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:08.960 And so what we end up finding, though, in the marriage relationship is in regards to the roles, is that as one spouse lives out the role intended for them, the other will gladly do the same in a beautiful reciprocation. 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:12.640 So that's what we strive for, even if it's done imperfectly. 00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:19.599 As we dive into this, we also need to see what submission for the wife is not. 00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:25.119 Submission does not just mean servitude. 00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:30.400 It does not simply mean that a wife is servile in function to her husband. 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:38.160 In fact, I would say the husband is living in rebellion to God if he is the lazy or uselessly expectant authority in the home. 00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:45.039 What I mean by that is that he is the guy who sits in the recliner and demands his wife to bring him candy and beer. 00:20:46.640 --> 00:21:01.599 Now that's going to be addressed implicitly when we get to the husbands here in a few, but what I'm trying to say is that he cannot feel as though that the submission piece has to do with his personal comfort. 00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:10.880 You see, it does not mean that the husband is elevated to this high position and the wife is just thankful to be in his presence. 00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:11.440 Okay? 00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:14.559 That is not what the Bible says. 00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:18.400 Even though that is the straw man argument from the world. 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:20.799 From those who reject God's good design. 00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:22.640 That's the argument you get, right? 00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:26.400 It'd be sin for the husband to live like that. 00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:29.359 And an unhappy marriage, to say the least. 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:38.880 Ultimately, though, one of the things that submission is not is that submission is not following her husband's lead into a path of sin. 00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:41.279 We have to understand that. 00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:45.519 Whether sin of doing something or sin of not doing something. 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:47.519 Wife doesn't follow that. 00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:50.640 But look at verse 24. 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:56.160 It says something that not many people want to hear. 00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:59.440 It says in verse 24 that she is to submit in. 00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:01.680 Everything. 00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:02.799 Ooh. 00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:06.880 Guess what that means? 00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:10.240 Everything. 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:13.920 Even if she disagrees with the decision or action. 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:18.640 The text here says everything, but I'll add on to that just for clarification. 00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:24.559 Everything that is permissible and consistent with the teaching of the Word. 00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:30.720 Okay, so everything that is permissible and consistent with the teaching of the Word, she must submit. 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:39.519 But again, I want to reiterate this, as we know from the rest of the testimony of Scripture, that does not mean down a path of sin. 00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:45.279 If he wants her to sin, she submits to the Lord and his truth alone and follows him. 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:54.960 Of course, though, this is one thing, that there her attitude must still be kindness and yet prayerful sorrow for her husband, never with anger or bitterness. 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:05.440 One quick side note as well, submission does not indicate that one is greater in the home. 00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:05.920 Okay? 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:15.039 Both husband and wife, as we know in the Bible, are equal before God, just as vital to the kingdom of God, the family, the church, even though there are differing roles. 00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:17.119 And that's the distinction that has to be made. 00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:18.880 Husbands have a role, wives have a role. 00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:19.359 Why? 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:21.039 Because God is good. 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:25.920 And he created us for those roles in his grace. 00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:29.440 And because here's the thing: we have to remember this. 00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:40.319 If God created wives to be subject to their husbands, as it says here, and by the way, that means subject to their husbands, not all men, as some have erroneously taught in the past. 00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:48.079 But if God created wives to be in submission to their husbands, then that must mean that this is the greatest good for them in life. 00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:50.079 In terms of that role. 00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:58.240 It's good. 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:20.400 If that's not the case for the wife, if this doesn't describe her because she doesn't want to live according to the Bible, then she's not only in rebellion to God and his word, but here's the thing: she's actually harming herself and limiting the ability she has to be joyful and comfortable with God, with who God made her to be. 00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:26.000 Often the question will come: what does that look like? 00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:28.079 What does that kind of submission look like? 00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:30.559 We're not given a ton here, are we? 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:34.640 I could spend hours giving you illustrations. 00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:37.599 Probably have things thrown at me for a while. 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:48.240 But I think the most profitable thing I can give to you is not the illustrations that are actually defined uniquely in each marriage relationship, but instead what the text of Scripture teaches us. 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:52.960 Okay, ultimately speaking, we know that those there are things as the fruit of the Spirit to live out. 00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:54.319 Galatians 5, right? 00:24:54.559 --> 00:24:58.160 That's no more important in the marriage relationship, wife submission. 00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:03.119 We know that we are all called to live as Christ and not to self. 00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:05.839 We're to regard one another as more important than self. 00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:09.200 We know that we are called to honor and love and respect one another. 00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:12.240 Again, no more important than in the marriage. 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:16.880 Our character needs to be that as follower of Christ. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:22.400 That kind of grace-filled living doesn't get checked at the door because you know your spouse so well. 00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:24.720 That happens, doesn't it? 00:25:25.119 --> 00:25:29.839 You're out in the world and treating everybody kindly and lovingly, and all of a sudden you come home and oh, it's them. 00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:37.279 I would argue that that kind of grace-filled living, the fruits of the Spirit, actually needs to be increased in the home. 00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:39.279 That's your one flesh. 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:50.000 Therefore, all of those passages that speak of how to treat one another speak very clearly of how, in the day-to-day, a wife is to submit to her husband. 00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:54.160 But I will say this: this is important. 00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:56.799 Submission must be voluntary. 00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:01.440 I know it doesn't sound groundbreaking at first, right? 00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:09.440 But think of the implications in marriage when you have voluntary submission versus involuntary submission. 00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:20.720 One is loving, one is kind, one is gentle, one is respectful, one is honoring, one is compassionate, one is full of grace. 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:23.200 Guess what the other one is? 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:31.039 And here's the thing wifely submission, voluntary submission, and here's where we have to go. 00:26:31.119 --> 00:26:32.960 This is the most important thing. 00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:37.359 It is a picture of what the church is to look like before Jesus Christ. 00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:39.039 Verse 24 again. 00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:42.240 And that's the ultimate answer, isn't it? 00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:44.880 To what a what submission looks like for the wife. 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:47.440 Christ is the head of the church. 00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:55.119 We are the submissive bride as his church, following his leading, who live according to his word, who seek to honor and respect him in all things. 00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:55.599 Why? 00:26:55.839 --> 00:26:58.720 Because it's for our good and we love him deeply. 00:26:59.599 --> 00:27:03.200 So we follow him with joy, with respect, humility of heart. 00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:05.440 That is why Paul begins with the wives here. 00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:21.519 And in that statement in verse 23 about this being a picture of Christ and the bride, we see that the desire and fidelity to the right role in marriage brings this kind of joy, this kind of comfort into life and into the marriage as a whole, whatever else may be going on. 00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:29.039 And so, overall, wives, submission is submission first and foremost to the Lord. 00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:32.960 Remember, you submit to your husband as to the Lord. 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:36.000 That means, yes, it's an act of worship to God. 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:41.039 To respect and follow your husband's leading is an act of worship to God. 00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:54.160 You submit to his leadership because you love God and you trust God's rule and prescribed roles, and it is out of that love and respect that you submit to your husband's leading since you follow Christ. 00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:58.640 As a church follows Christ's leading, so you follow your husband. 00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:02.240 That's the best picture you're ever going to find of what submission looks like. 00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:06.160 No, he's not Jesus. 00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:09.200 But he is your head in marriage and in the home. 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:12.720 And so the wife is to help her husband. 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:13.359 Remember that? 00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:14.319 Genesis 2. 00:28:14.480 --> 00:28:21.200 He is to help, or she is to help her husband with what the Lord has given him to do with the gifts that God has given to her. 00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:30.480 Okay, before we go to the men, I want to give you a quick aside. 00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:39.519 For those who are single in here this morning, please, I beg of you, pray for your church and pray for the married couples specifically. 00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:44.079 Assist in however you can by caring for the married couples. 00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:49.279 Help them to protect their marriages in any way possible. 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:55.839 And remember who you are as a bride of Christ. 00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:59.680 For you who are in here are maybe single young ladies. 00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:04.160 Your role is that of submission now to your father. 00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:06.559 As you wait for the right man. 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:10.960 There's no father in the home, then it does fall on the mother. 00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:17.119 And you are, in a sense, practicing for what is to come in the full in marriage. 00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:28.720 Because I tell you right now, if you don't submit to your father or your mother, if there's no father in the home, the house rules, if you will, then submission to your husband is going to be very, very difficult and painful. 00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:30.880 Same goes for the young men in here. 00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:33.839 You need to learn to lead yourself well right now. 00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:35.440 Right now. 00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:39.279 So that you can lead well in marriage when that right woman comes along. 00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:46.400 If you're not obeying the rules of your home, if you're not leading yourself in these things, then you're not going to lead well in marriage either. 00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:48.160 And it'll be a disaster. 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:51.920 So it's preparation time for you young ones now. 00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:57.920 Next week we'll see children obey your parents in the Lord. 00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:00.240 This is a part of that. 00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:01.759 Okay. 00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:09.599 I want to transition to speak about the husband and what his role is for a few, and then we'll conclude with an exhortation to both husband and wife, okay? 00:30:09.759 --> 00:30:12.880 Husbands, I need you to notice something here. 00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:23.680 While the world may be running around with their hair on fire because the Bible teaches wife submission, please notice that Paul only gives three verses for the wives. 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:27.279 But most of the rest of the nine for the husbands. 00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:30.160 There's a reason for that. 00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:32.480 So stop elbowing your wife. 00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:35.759 And hear what the word of the Lord is saying to you. 00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:39.759 The one who is largely responsible before God. 00:30:40.079 --> 00:30:41.839 Pause there for a minute. 00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:51.279 The one who is largely responsible before a holy God for what goes on in your marriage in your home is you, husband. 00:30:53.839 --> 00:31:01.759 Husbands, your ability to lift weights or drive a nice car, ride fast, shoot straight, tackle a quarterback, kill a bear with your bare hands. 00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:03.440 That doesn't make you a good husband. 00:31:03.519 --> 00:31:05.519 That just simply makes you Davy Crockett. 00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:06.880 Who cares? 00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:13.920 If husbands are to be the leaders in the home and the marriage overall, there must be a lot to that. 00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:16.960 And so I want to say this at the outset to the men and husbands in here. 00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:28.240 By and large, not completely, but by and large, the reason as to why a lot of women have the upside-down place of leading in the home is because of the husband's failure. 00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:31.119 His abdication from what the Lord commands of him. 00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:33.359 I'm talking about the Christian home. 00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:52.640 And of course, this is carried over into the church and is why, in part, probably large part, why more and more churches have women in the positions they are not biblically qualified to be based on what God has ordained, the role of women, pastor or elder. 00:31:53.039 --> 00:31:54.960 It's men's abdication. 00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:57.200 Husband's abdication. 00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:04.720 There are a variety of reasons as to why I think this has taken place in numerous homes. 00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:09.599 One is the culture's influence for sure. 00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:11.839 But I want to give you four. 00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:14.960 Husbands, see where you fall into this. 00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:19.839 First, let's start with the most challenging one: there's cowardice. 00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:26.480 There are husbands who live in fear of repercussion from either their wives or the world if they lead. 00:32:26.720 --> 00:32:32.640 Again, have in your mind the pervasive feminism that's crept into most aspects of society, even in the church. 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:37.039 Second, husbands have been lazy. 00:32:37.599 --> 00:32:44.400 They've not taken the time that it takes, that is required of them to lead well, to study well, to work hard at it. 00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:51.759 Third, they've been too self-focused, focusing on other things, hobbies, work, and the like. 00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:58.079 Fourth, many husbands, I would just say simply don't know what's right in biblical. 00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:01.119 They're ignorant of the truth. 00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:03.279 And don't hear that word ignorant is a bad thing. 00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:05.119 It doesn't mean unknowing. 00:33:05.599 --> 00:33:09.920 What it means is usually they haven't been taught well what the word teaches. 00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:15.440 This is probably, I would say, probably the most prevalent reason as to why a husband wouldn't lead in the home. 00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:21.440 But either way, whatever it is, we as husbands need to stand up and be counted as men today. 00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:34.559 As husbands who will honor and bless and cherish their gift, their wives, and obey God and fulfill the role of headship that is required of us, and that we will have to give an account for on that day. 00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:42.880 As verse 23 tells us, a husband has God given authority in the home, and with that authority comes responsibility. 00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:45.599 And the responsibility in the end comes the judgment. 00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:47.680 Husbands, you've got to listen. 00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:52.799 It's not judgment from him, nor judgment to him for eternal condemnation. 00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:57.599 This is a judgment of interrogation for how he has led his wife and children. 00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:01.200 Husbands will give an account. 00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:04.319 That should scare us. 00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:07.680 And cause us to follow him. 00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:18.719 Now, while the truth of the husbandheadship is an offense to the culture, that can also not be the driving force, offending the theological liberals. 00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:24.639 It must be done from love and obedience. 00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:26.639 Love and obedience. 00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:30.880 Love for your God and your wife and obedience to your God and his word. 00:34:32.320 --> 00:34:35.360 So I just want to say as we dive into this, what's it going to be, husbands? 00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:38.239 Will you stand up for Christ and be counted? 00:34:38.320 --> 00:34:39.440 Will you lead? 00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:44.400 Will you do what is commanded of you if you're not already? 00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:50.719 Let's look at the ways in which a husband is to be foreign and lead his wife. 00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:55.280 Again, this begins most importantly with the truth that he is to be Christ-like. 00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:57.760 Headship. 00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:01.760 Husband's headship is to be a picture of Christ's headship over the church. 00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:03.360 And that's what we're going to detail out here. 00:35:03.519 --> 00:35:06.800 In no way, shape, or form regarding how we worship Christ as his bride. 00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:09.599 Husbands do not receive worship from their wives. 00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:14.400 If you're receiving worship from your wife, please come see me right after this, okay? 00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:23.519 But there is much that we need to see here regarding the relationship between Christ and his bride that we are to emulate, and husbands bear the brunt of. 00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:25.840 No doubt, submission is hard. 00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:29.519 I know for my wife it must be. 00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:35.280 But the accountability in a load that the husband must carry, that's heavy. 00:35:48.559 --> 00:35:55.679