What I'm Learning About Upper Limits From Inside One

You've had the breakthroughs. You've done the journaling, the mindset work, the sessions. But there is something that keeps pulling you back to the same ceiling. 

In this episode, I get specific about what's actually happening when growth stalls: why it's not a motivation problem, or commitment problem, and it's not something more intention-setting will fix. 

I'm recording this one from inside my own upper limit, not looking back at one and I think a lot of you need to hear this.

In This Episode

• What an upper limit actually is, and why most explanations of it keep it too surface-level to be useful
• The difference between what you want and what your system recognizes as safe 
• Why doing identity work as your current self keeps you running the same program underneath every new intention
• The question I ask myself when I'm inside an upper limit, including right now
• Where to start when the tools you've been using aren't reaching the level where the pattern actually lives

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Limitless Life Podcast. I'm your host, Brenda Johnston. With two decades in advertising and photo marketing, I understand exactly how people make decisions, what moves them and what doesn't. In the last 12 years, I've been in the subconscious and energetic transformational space, which means I can see through the noise faster than most. And I know what's actually working under the surface versus what just looks like it is. I'm not here to inspire you. I'm here to show you what's really running things and give you the tools you need to change it. If you're a founder or a leader who thinks deeply, does the work, and still hits walls you can't quite explain, this is your show. We go beyond the strategy, beyond the mindset work, into the subconscious, the body, and your energy so you can lead and build from who you actually are. So let's get into this. You know what I'm not here for? Upper limits. And you know what sucks about hitting your upper limit when you're growing? Is that it doesn't just happen once. It's not a season that you move through and leave behind. It is something that keeps happening. And it will keep happening at every new level. In every new version of the life that you're building. And I know this not because I've studied it, but because I've lived it and I'm living one right now. And before I go any further, I want to make sure we're talking about the same thing because upper limits get thrown around in personal development circles a lot. And I think it gets explained sometimes in a way that keeps it very um surface level. So what I'm talking about is an upper limit isn't just mindset resistance. It's not just a fear of success or self-sabotage. It is what happens when your subconscious, your nervous system, and your energetic system have reached the edge of what they feel safe to have and hold. Not what you want, not what you're capable of, but what your nervous system and your subconscious recognize as safe. And that distinction matters more than almost anything else I could say today because you can want something with every conscious part of your being, and you can still have your system pulling you back from it. Because your system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. Keep you inside the boundary of what it already knows how to hold. That is the upper limit that I am talking about. Has nothing to do with how committed you are. I do this work for a living. I help women move through exactly what I'm about to describe, and I still hit upper limits. Also, I'm human. I still have moments where that next level feels less like a destination, more some like literally more like something I've made up in my head, like a pipe dream. Um where my brain genuinely cannot bridge the gap between where I am and where I'm headed. And it's a space where imposter syndrome doesn't just show up as a passing thought, but as this very convincing argument that I should probably just focus on what I already know works and what I already know I'm good at. I have clients who have built seven-figure businesses, multiple seven-figure businesses. And some days I sit with the conversations we have about what is possible, the scale, the impact, the kind of vision that makes your brain literally short circuit a little bit. And then I have this little voice inside of my head that says, Oof, exactly who do you think you are? And I'm not saying this for a fact, I'm saying this because I think you need to hear that the woman teaching this stuff, me sitting here behind the mic, is not completely on the other side of it. I'm in the middle of it. I'm doing the work too. I'm using the tools, I'm working with my own mentor because yes, I have one, and she is not optional. And it's not because she gives me the answers, but because she asks me the right questions. She challenges me in ways that expand what I even think is possible rather than confirming what I already believe. She helps me see the bigger picture when I'm too close to my own story to see it clearly. And that is what support at this level is actually supposed to look like. It's not somebody handing you a template, it's somebody holding you to the standard of the version of you that you can't fully see yet. So, what does being in the upper limit actually feel like from the inside? Well, let me tell you, uh, it feels like doubt that just sounds so reasonable in your own head that you don't even recognize it as doubt. It feels like imposter syndrome arriving, but not how it normally would arrive. It's like this very annoying, persistent whisper in your head. What exactly are you doing? Who told you that you could do that? It feels like a gravitational pull towards what I know works, the familiar stuff, the proven stuff, the version of myself that has already demonstrated that I can succeed at a certain level. That version is right there, and she's very comfortable and she is incredibly persuasive. That is what an upper limit feels like from the inside. It's not a wall that you run into and you can see, it is a force, like an energetic pullback towards the version of yourself, of your nervous system, that already recognizes things as being safe. Like I said at the beginning of this podcast, I've hit mine several times. The first time, I didn't actually know what was happening. I just knew that something felt like it was falling apart at the exact moment. I had committed to something much bigger. I had made a very large investment into myself, into the business, like the kind of investment that requires you to kind of back yourself in a way that really does scare the shit out of you and probably makes you want to vomit on yourself. And almost immediately everything that could go wrong started to go wrong. Clients left, income dropped in a way that I had not experienced before, unexpected bills arrived one after another, and I was standing in the middle of it all asking myself the question that I'm guessing a lot of you have asked yourselves, what the fuck is wrong with me? What is going on here? And I asked that not as a passing thought. Like it was a genuine, recurring, deeply frustrating question that I could not find the answer to, no matter how much work I did or how many breakthroughs I had. Because I was having breakthroughs, massive breakthroughs. Things would shift, and then I would find myself back in the same place. Same patterns, same ceiling, same sense that something I couldn't figure out was keeping me from moving past a certain point. And as somebody who does this for a living and helps people do this, let me just explain to you how infuriating it was that I felt like I could, I'm not gonna say fix. I felt like I could help everybody else, but I couldn't fix myself. I couldn't help myself. I could not see how I kept getting there. It was like I could feel myself retreating, like I had some weird bungee cord attached to me, and it just kept happening. I'd take 10 steps forward, I'd wake up the next day back where I started without any memory of the walk backwards. Here's what I eventually understood, and this is the part that changed everything, and it's why I wanted to have this episode. My upper limit wasn't a motivation problem or a commitment problem. It was an identity problem, but not the kind of identity work that I had been doing at that time, and not the kind of identity work that we've talked about many times on this podcast. I had been doing the identity work, writing about the woman I wanted to become, making promises to her, acting as her, and none of that is wrong. I want to be very clear about that. However, I had been doing all of it as the current version of me. The very comfortable version of me, the one whose nervous system already knew how to function at a certain level, the one whose subconscious was still running the old program underneath every new intention I was setting. Here's the thing you cannot close that gap from inside the identity you're trying to move beyond. I want to pause here for a second because something has shifted since I first announced the awakening session. The women who have been leaning into these episodes about intuition and energy, the conversations that have been coming in, the messages, the responses, I honestly was not expecting the level of resonance that has been happening. And so when I originally announced the free awakening session, it was going to happen on June the 18th. I do not want to wait that long. So the free session, the awakening session, is now happening June the 4th at 7 p.m. Eastern. Same experience, 90 minutes, live on Zoom, completely free. I am going to show you exactly what it looks like and feels like to work with your subconscious and your energy directly. Not just a concept. We're doing this in your body in real time. If you've been listening to these episodes and recognizing yourself in them, the upper limit, the identity gap, the version of you that keeps pulling you back to what is safe, this is where we're going to do something about it. Registration is open. The link is in the show notes. So trust that nudge and save your spot. Now let's get back to this episode. The identity has to shift at the level where it actually lives, not on the page of a journal or in a visualization. In your subconscious and your nervous system and your energy. It has to shift in the part of you that does not respond just to intentions, only to the real precise work at the level where programming actually operates. Now I want to say something here because I don't want this to land like, oh well, you need to work with somebody to fix this. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that the tools need to match the level where the work actually needs to happen. And in many cases, it is much easier and much faster to work with somebody who can lead you through that. One of the things I do, aside from the deeper inner work and having my own mentor and people that can help me work through stuff, is free writing. Not structured journaling, there's no prompts, I'm not doing gratitude lists. It's unstructured writing that lets whatever is underneath come to the surface. So I might ask a question like, what is blocking me? Or what is it that I'm not seeing? And then I just sit and I write. Because what free writing actually does is it exposes the patterns that I can't see when I'm inside of them. So the places where I'm still trying to live as my current identity, while at the same time reaching for the next level version of me. It shows me where the gap actually is, not just where I think it is. And then I work at the subconscious and the energetic level on myself with the same tools that I use with my clients. Because listen, understanding where the pattern is doesn't clear it. The clearing actually requires something entirely different. And what that requires of me every time I hit a new upper limit, including right now, is a willingness to look honestly at where the comfortable version of me is running the show. Where I'm letting standards slide because the gap between who I am and who I'm becoming still feels so incredibly uncomfortable to fully inhabit. It also means paying attention to who I'm spending time with, what I'm saying yes to, because it just feels familiar or expected, instead of actually things that are aligned, where the doubt and the imposter syndrome are coming. And the am I insane? What am I doing feeling are actually just the old identity making her case? Because that's all it is. That crumbling feeling, the doubts, the pull towards what works, it's not a sign that you've gotten it wrong or you're doing anything wrong. It's the old version of you making her case before she lets go and retires. And the question that I have learned to ask myself when I am in it, including right now, is this is the version of me making this decision taking me closer to where I want to be or further away? Not the version I write about, or the one actually living my life in the moment, the one making the choices right now. That question is not going to make the doubt disappear, and it's not gonna get the imposter syndrome to shut up overnight. But what it does is give you a way to feel the difference between the voice that's pulling you back and the one that's trying to lead you forward. And the more you practice making that distinction, the clearer things get for you. So if you want to start somewhere accessible, start with free writing. Honestly, just sit with a book in front of you or paper in front of you, close your eyes, take a deep breath in and out, ground yourself, center yourself, and just write. Don't edit it. It doesn't need to be neat. Let it be messy and honest and follow wherever it wants to go. And some of it may be gibberish, some of it may be scribbles or doodles. Just let it be that. What you're looking for when you go back later are the places where the current version of you is still calling the shots underneath the intentions you've been setting, where the gap between who you are and who you're becoming is showing up in ways maybe you haven't actually been willing to look directly at. That is the beginning of the real identity work. It's not about just becoming her on paper, it is seeing things in a way that are clear, that can show you what is still keeping you from living as that next level version of yourself. And if this is landing and you're recognizing yourself somewhere in what I've described today, don't forget, I'm doing the free awakening session. Go register for it. The link is in the show notes. June the 4th, 7 p.m. Eastern. Yes, there will be a replay as long as you're registered. Come, experience what it actually feels like when the work happens at the right level. If this episode resonated with you, I would love to ask you to share it and leave a review. Let's get this into the ears of the women who need it. Be sure to tag the guest as well as myself so we can connect with you. This show exists because of you, and it also grows in the same way. So thanks for being here with me, and until next time, here's to creating your limitless life.