Wisdom For Wives
Shaping women in truth for every generation.
Wisdom For Wives
Wife & Mother Overnight
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In this episode of Wisdom for Wives, Tara sits down with Vanessa to share her powerful journey of becoming a wife and mother almost overnight.
When Vanessa met her husband, he was a widower raising two young children after the loss of his wife. Saying yes to marriage meant saying yes not only to him, but to a family whose story had already been shaped by love, loss, and grief.
Vanessa shares honestly about stepping into motherhood, learning to love children she did not give birth to, navigating the complexities of a blended family, and discovering what it means to build something new while honoring what came before.
This is a beautiful conversation about love, sacrifice, grace, motherhood, marriage, and trusting God when the life He gives you looks different from the one you imagined.
Wisdom for Wives — Shaping Women in Truth for Every Generation.
So every loss is unfortunate and I know how he lost his wife. What did that weight of that knowledge feel like for you?
SPEAKER_00It was heavy. It was it was kind of scary, but my confidence in my relationship with the Lord was very strong. I asked him to make it very clear to me.
SPEAKER_02You became a mother and a wife, and one fell swoop.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Just instantly. I I like to say it up like I became an insta mom, we became an insta family. I know the Lord's called me to it, and I know I just can't think it all through. Right. So I'm just gonna jump in. Man, for a season, if I was being really honest, I was kind of mad about it. I feel that way. I feel like I did not know it was gonna be this hard. I didn't know. I journaled often, and I was just like, Lord, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to love like you love. I don't know how to forgive like you forgive. To open my heart in that space, and you know, God's just so kind. Please strong heart wives, live better lives. Welcome to the podcast, wisdom for wives. Please strong heart-wise, living better lives. Welcome to the podcast, wisdom for wives.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to Wisdom for Wives. My name is Tara Lewis. I've been married for nearly 30 years, and I'm a mother of four. Here we are shaping women in truth for every generation. Most little girls dream of becoming a wife and a mother. They just don't dream of it happening at the same time. But Vanessa did. Today we're gonna talk about blended families, struggles, grief, loneliness. And we're gonna talk about what happens when the dream that you prayed for, God gave it to you, but that dream is the one that's refined you. So we're gonna get into that today. Welcome for being here. It's such a pleasure to have you on.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So first I just want to say, you know, I you are a gift to the body of Christ. You are a worship leader, phenomenal worship leader. You lead here at Gateway Frisco, and it's such an honor to see you usher in the presence of God. And your gifts and your service is meaningful to the body of Christ, that you allowing God to use you in the worship, which is our most intimate in terms when we come together as a body, as a group of people, as a community. And so when God places you in that, he is entrusting you with his presence. Yeah. And so thank you for that.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you mean a lot to me. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yes. So before we hop in, I mean, I I said you I hope I said your name is Vanessa. So we have Vanessa with us. We don't have to ask you your name. Vanessa, this is a very unique time and moment for us to connect. Of course, we just met at church and then I wanted to hear your story. Yeah. And so before we get into how you met Destin and what has transpired from the seven years I believe you've been married, please tell us just a little bit about the beginning.
SPEAKER_00Well, as you said, I've been singing my whole life. So it wasn't anything new. I just didn't know how that was going to fit into my world. But I um was very active when I was younger. I played sports, I sang in choir, I did all the things. We went to school in uh Longview, average was where I went to university, and I played a year of basketball there, and I was wrestling with what to do with my love for music because I had initially started out in kinesiology. Yeah, I know the Lord really didn't let me get away from the idea of music. I just didn't know what that meant. But there was a ministry school in Austin I went back to three-year program. God opened up my eyes that I could be in the space of worship and lead people into his presence. So that became my absolute love. I absolutely just and the Lord just opened up doors for me. I was single, so I would go anywhere anybody asked me, hey, you wanna you wanna lead at this conference? You wanna sing at this retreat? Tell me what age I was about twenty. Well, so I did my schooling was from twenty two to twenty-five. Okay. After I graduated, I I did sing at a few churches there. I had a few connections. It wasn't a lot and it wasn't anything super consistent, but it was really when I turned 28. Okay. I was like, Lord, you know I want to do this. This is my heart. There's not a lot of openings like I thought there would be. So I applied for an internship. Okay. Okay. I fill the hole for this, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Okay, so then I went to uh the ministry was called Next Up Ministries. Most of the people that are interning are still in college. Yes, so I'm very much older than all of these people. Okay, yes. I actually get paired with another girl, same age. Okay, very similar situation. She quit her job, went to do this internship, and just was like, I have no idea what's afterwards. Okay. Okay, okay, so very adventurous. Very adventurous, yes. And so I do this summer in uh New Mexico, Navajo Nation. We're out there, leaving out. Yeah, it was it. We out there in the desert. The closest town to get groceries was 45 minutes away, and it was a small one. You had to go an hour and a half if we're gonna go to like a Costco or something like that. Okay, it was wild. So we we were out there, and so that actually launched me into a season of so I made all these connections with all these churches that would come to our site. For a week, we would have them, they would do projects in the day, and then at night we would do a service for them. So that's the I did that all summer long. So then afterwards, I got calls from those churches. So a couple of them were in Texas, and then one was in California, and so I went to California and so tell me, yeah, how did you make the decision that or how did God lead you to knowing that it was California?
SPEAKER_02You're from Austin, Texas. From Austin, Texas. Okay, we're talking about polar opposite culture and I didn't know. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Well, so there was a little bit of in-between. I had connections with all these different churches, but I went back to Austin after that internship. Okay. And I found another internship at a church. I was a part of the youth ministry, and then I actually ended up being their worship interim person for a season because their worship pastor had taken a sabbatical. Okay. And so I was helping out on Sunday mornings and it was doing the youth services, and I just was awesome.
SPEAKER_02So you were honing in your gift and being getting the experience of leading and worship and just all that entails.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was a beautiful season. I so loved that. And then the youth pastor from that church launched a church. So they did a church plant, and he asked me to come and be the worship leader. And again, like it was just for me, I I just I just felt like the Lord split this before me. Yeah, what why not?
SPEAKER_02He had no husband, you had no kids. No, nothing. I was just like nothing was holding you back. No, so that's like freedom.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Uh-huh. I was just going. Okay. And like I said, so I started doing that, started helping with the church plant. But again, I'd still get calls and you know, messages for going and doing different things. Well, I still have the connection with the church from California. Okay. Because I had gone out there just to visit. Okay. And see what you're doing. Yeah. Okay. And, you know, I had made friends with that several people from that particular church. So I had kept in contact with them. I guess it probably was what two or three years had passed. Okay. And I had was planning on going out for another visit. And I got a call from their young adults pastor. And he says to me, Hey, I think the Lord wants you out here in California. And I was like, Lord, then tell me that. I mean, that is true. I was like, sure. But I was like, we can talk about it. I'm open to talk about it. Ms. I had learned from mentor in my life, just see what God does. Don't say no until you like pray and seek him about it, right?
SPEAKER_02Investigate. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, ask questions. See what in so I was already going out for a visit and then um So because we know that God is in the details.
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely. You don't want to miss him. Absolutely. And in this moment, as we progress into your story, know that this is very pivotal. Oh, absolutely. This is like the the beginning. Like, and even though it looks like the beginning, it wasn't, it was in your training.
SPEAKER_00Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02It was in your obedience along the way that every step was leading up to this California move.
SPEAKER_00Which was wild for me. Because I'm like, I have a job. Okay. Doing what I love. I have another job to help support me because I wasn't making old money, right? Because it didn't work. I didn't care. You were single. Yes. Sindle. I was like, I'm good. But I was already going out there for a visit. And I was like, we'll talk when I get there. Okay. So we did. We sat down and he laid out his heart and his vision while he's, you know, what he felt like the Lord had told him.
SPEAKER_02And so your answer was yes.
SPEAKER_00So my answer was, I'll pray about it.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay. But I'll tell you, the Lord told me when I was getting on the plane to go home. He said, if you don't come out, if you don't go out there, you will be being disobedient to me. And I said, Oh, wow. Okay, Lord.
SPEAKER_02That was that was clear enough.
SPEAKER_00That was super clear. It is. But I did still, I still leaned in. I said, Lord, I'm gonna need a car. Amen. Because my car can make it. Okay. I said, I'm gonna need a car. I need this amount of money each month. And then I asked him from a word from his word because I said, I know it's gonna be hard. I have never made a move like that before. It's gonna be hard. So I need to know from your word that I can always go back to and stand on. And can I just can I'm gonna say I'm gonna I'm gonna find it. I'm gonna find it real quick.
SPEAKER_02It's I said, you gotta give me a word so that I know back to when it hit the fire when it's hard, man.
SPEAKER_00This is gonna be hard. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02Like you think rely on the fact that I sought the Lord and I heard his answers, yes.
SPEAKER_00And I can say, Lord, you told me. You told me, and here it is. I know exactly where it is in my actual Bible, but I let me see if I could find it in here real quick. Here it is. Okay, John 15, 16. And I'm I'm just reading. I wasn't wasn't even like, oh, this verse will fit. I'm just reading this chapter, and this stands out. He goes, You didn't choose me, I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit so that the father will give you whatever you ask in my ask for using my name.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00So when it said I appointed you to go, I was like, All right, there it is. Yes, there it is, Laura. Go ahead. So here's my word. And then I got a call from the the senior pastor because the young adults pastor couldn't do the hire, so he was, you know, had to get it approval. Yeah. So um he called, he was like, I'm gonna get you a car, and this is the and it was like every everything, and it was like yes, every answer requested that you asked of God and confirmed.
SPEAKER_02And he confirmed me. I love how you took that initiative to know that not only do I get to say yes to God, but also get to ask because he said, Ask of me. You know, you said come and ask, and I'll give you the things that you have need of, you know. And so sometimes, unfortunately, we as believers can be afraid to ask God for something when he's already given us so much. Yeah, you know, and some of it is I think it's fear, but you were ready to say, Lord, if this is truly you, that's that's the caveat right there. This is truly you. I need transportation, I need a certain amount of money to make it. You know, I'm leaving, uprooting myself, you know, and to be financially responsible and stable. Yeah, I need to know and have this confidence, and God is faithful. Oh, you know, in that because the same verse that you read is the one that he says, ask me in my father's name, and I'll do it. I'll do whatever you ask me for, you know. And so I love that. Yeah, yeah. So that's awesome. So let's get into the good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you meet Dustin, just give us just a little bit. This is the man that you meet where at church.
SPEAKER_00At the church that you are now the worship pastor at.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So we're I'm three years into being there. Okay. Yeah. So um, and I only live there for five years. Okay. So yeah, so it's three years in, and I was leading worship. Okay. You don't judge a girl, okay? Okay. Single. Oh, yes. And so, you know, you just kind of keep an eye out. Right. Well, we're in a worship service. I'm leading, and I noticed this guy I hadn't noticed before, and he is full leaning in, like leaning, like, you know, hands are raised, and he's just worshiping. Yes. Right. And I was like, hmm. I said, hmm. All right. So I made a little note. But after services, I never found him. Okay. Well, I found out later he used to go to like three services. So he started ours and then go to another one. So he had to leave.
SPEAKER_02He's going to get his worship on everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, everywhere. So yeah, he uh, but I actually actually met him at the young adult service, which was the only one that was in the area on a Tuesday night. Okay. That's when I actually met him, but I noticed him first on Sunday morning. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So I mean, I want to just say that it's important to note that you weren't just looking at this good-looking man or handsome, tall man that you saw. You it was what you saw that was even greater than the physical attraction. It was his worship towards God. It was him leaning into worshiping you being a worship leader. That was something I would think that you had a heart desire for, not just a man of God. I mean, you know, we're called to be worshipers, those who will worship him in spirit and in truth. Yeah. However, not everyone leans into that intimacy in a corporate worship. Right. And that's what you notice about Dustin first. First. So that's huge. And then, okay, you guys meet in the youth service, and what is that moment like?
SPEAKER_00Well, um, listen, shout out to the meet and greet time. Okay. Okay, okay. It can be used for the same latency. Okay, say healthy. Yeah. So that's it literally was just um he started serving, started getting you know more involved. And so he was just down at the front and he was worshiping like always and and leaning in. And it was just uh during a meet and greet. And I was like, I just have to come and say hi. Like you like, you just lean in when you worship. And so I just said hello. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02So tell me, let's go to the first date. So you guys met, met in church. We saw the worship, all beautiful. You're attracted to him. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. So now you go out on your first date.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02What takes place at this first date? What do you identify? What do you notice? What do you hear?
SPEAKER_00Well, so there was a lot of things. One, he he packed us a little lunch because we're gonna go hiking. Oh, just my favorite. Like, if you can have another love language, that is wow. I love Mike Vijay. I love it so much. I love being outside in California. Yeah, it's a lista. I just I love it. Austin is beautiful too, because that's where I'm actually from. And have all these green belts, and it's just super well. So love California. I would go on heights all the time. So I was like, Well, this guy's gonna ask me on a hike for our first date. I like that. Um, so you already liked heights.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I loved hiking. So did he know this?
SPEAKER_00Uh, I think it was something that had come up.
SPEAKER_02Okay, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he was like, Well, I know he's yeah, he's like, Oh, I know a great place, Ike. I'm like, Okay, that's that's great. Okay, but he surprised me by he brought like lunch for us. It was so adorable. Yeah, it was so he had a little backpack and he had all the drinks and all the things sold together. It was so cute.
SPEAKER_02He was prepared.
SPEAKER_00He was okay, means something, you know. And uh, so he, you know, is very gentleman, opens up the door and he's taking me on a psych. And so I mean and a friend of mine made up this game called Your Turn. And it's basically you what a person gets to ask somebody a question, you answer, and when I'm like, oh, okay, now it's your turn to ask a question. The only rule is you can't ask the same question. Okay, so you got to be creative. Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_02So you're a conversation is going to be a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I see what's flowing. So I'm like, hey, let's do this. It's gonna be great. We can get to know each other. So he was a minor league um baseball player. So we're talking about him leaving the league and what did that look like, and just different things like that, and going back and forth. And due to an interesting circumstance that had happened in my life before somebody I was dating, um, I had a question that had to be answered. And it was, I said to him, Um, are you currently or have you been married? Okay, you know, that was a whole nother story. You know, I'm telling you what it was wild. So um anyway, he goes, Yes, I'm a widower. And and he's pulling out his phone. I was like, Oh, he has kids and show me pictures of them. So we're like sitting down, and I was like, wow. And so I had this like flashback moment of prayer I had prayed in the car. I was driving. It was probably I think it was like 10 months before I had met him. Okay. Yeah, even. And I'm driving, and I just had, you know, you just have these moments with the Lord, right? And I felt real prompted to just say, Lord, I'm okay if he's a widower on as kids. Wow. And then I and then I'm instantly in the car again because I had that prayer and he's saying this, and I'm just like, Whoa.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we always remember when we hear God speak to us, where we were, what it felt like we can like be transported back there and say, This is what I was doing, this is what the sun was like, or whatever the room is, and you just feel like that was an indeed a God moment. Yes, but not only that, the words that you stated, like what are the chances that a single, independent, free-flowing, adventurous woman, beautiful, who says out of her mouth, it's okay if he's a widow and has kids. Right. What are the chances that someone prays that prayer?
SPEAKER_00I don't even know. It was very much of a marked moment. Yeah, but but I didn't know that until way later, right? Yeah, yeah, it was a marked moment for sure. Where the Lord was like, I prompted you to say that.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so I'm gonna say it like this. You were all those things as a single woman. You were still a virgin.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I was.
SPEAKER_02And what age was this again? Uh right age 34 when you met a dessin.
SPEAKER_00Um, when I met Dustin, I would have been 34.
SPEAKER_02Okay. You obviously married Dustin, your first marriage.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then you now have kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. But I just want to back up because of course I know your story, but I want to back up. Dustin came to the church, then and you met him. Went on your first date between that first date, when did you marry him?
SPEAKER_00It was, let's see, we started dating May 27th. Okay. And then we got married the next year, March 23rd.
SPEAKER_02Nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So it was a little bit, it was close to a year, but it was it was just shy by a couple months. Okay. So I had 10 months.
SPEAKER_02Okay. And I mean, I haven't allowed for you. Well, I mean, we sh we recognize that he was a witter. How long was he a witter before you?
SPEAKER_00It was um a little bit over a year.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because he told me about just the wrestling match that he had with the ward, you know, in the space of he he really leaned in and asked the ward if he should pursue me. That was something that he really had to wrestle a lot with the ward because of just everything that he had been through. Right. Um, and so he he felt like the ward really gave him a a sign that he took as the word blessing him to move forward in pursuing my heart.
SPEAKER_02So yeah. So every loss is unfortunate. And I know how he lost his wife.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But in terms of the way that he lost his wife, it wasn't one of sickness. Right. I'll say it like that. Just to, you know, kind of respect that area of his life and his children. What did that weight of that knowledge feel like for you? That it, you know, because it's sometimes in your circumstance and Dustin's previous past, these circumstances are different from someone dying with breast cancer or an illness or sickness.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02This was an unfortunate, you know, choice in the way that this person lived their life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What did that uh weight of that feel like for you, knowing that you were marrying somebody who uh lost someone in that way?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It was heavy. It was it was kind of scary because. You just wonder if something is gonna linger from that space. Um, wonder if it's gonna be something that will leave surface. It was definitely hard, and it was a hard space, but my confidence in my relationship with the Lord was very strong. And I asked him to make it very clear to me that this was what was yeah, this is what he was highlighting. So there was a lot of things too that I just decided I I don't know how it's gonna play out, you know, or I don't know how he's trust they're gonna react.
SPEAKER_02You were gonna have to go out with trust with completely trust is with the Lord.
SPEAKER_00Yes, you know, like okay, well, you call me two, then you're gonna get me through it. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_02So how you started with needing a prayer to move to California, and then in in that time frame, God had already through your own prayer, you know, the Bible says we don't know how to pray as we ought, but the Holy Spirit prays through us. Right. So you heard that your own self saying, I'm okay with the witterer, and I'm okay with if he has children. Now you are making the choice to marry someone and you learn of how they lose their spouse, and you have these two children and their ages were four and well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, when when I first met him, they would have been four and six. Okay. And then by the time we got married, they had already had the birthday, so they were seven and five.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Yeah. Okay, yes. So now you have these children who have lost their mother, you have a man who he was married to this woman, you know, regardless of the outcome of, you know, how she lost her life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What was the what was the you I don't know how to say it necessarily, but what was going on with you when you made the decision to marry him? And of course, that's a beautiful thing. And then receive the children. And then when you enter into this phase, what was that experience like? You became a mother and a wife and one fell swoop.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. Just instantly. I I like to say it up like I became an insta-mom, we became an insta-family. It was old. And the thing was that I didn't actually even get to spend a ton of time with the kids before. So they were living in Ohio at the time with their family. Okay. So they came a few months before. So we I had met them, but not a lot of time.
SPEAKER_02But not a lot of time. Well, you were only dating like in that short period of time. It was short and worse. It was all that no matter what, it was gonna be short. It was gonna be short, yes. And the first day y'all met on the date, it was gonna still be considered short.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it truly, but he he felt very confident in their trust in him and their love for him, that they would they would be understanding and be for the situation for him, him and I to be together and us to be a family.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry, I totally forgot what else is like what was your when you encountered being a a wife and a mom, was that overwhelming for you that you know, when you enter into a home, because you're going from this single life, like most obviously before you get married, right? Right, but you were adventurous, you were used to, you know, doing life by yourself, then you are 35 years old. Now you are a somebody's wife, right, and somebody's mother, right? Regardless if they came through you or not, you are their mom now.
SPEAKER_00I will tell you for better or for worse, I did not give it a ton of thought. I probably should have. Okay. In hindsight, I would tell people to sit down and consider the but again, I go back to that. Like, I trusted the Lord had called me to that space. One of the things I did say, I remember some people asking me about it, and I said, I know it's gonna be harder than I know how to prepare myself for. So I'm just it was really like moving to California for me. It was a very similar moment where I was just like, I know the Lord's called me to it, and I know I just can't think it all through. Right. So I'm just gonna jump in. It was like jumping off the deep end, and then you find out, oh, I actually can't swim.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Jesus. I was like, oh, it's deep.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I can't touch about Jesus reaching down and drown.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. And going to the it was very it'd be it was a it was after the honeymoon, okay, which was literally just the honeymoon, the time we were, and then we're all together, yeah, all the time.
SPEAKER_02So we know that marriage is hard in and of itself. So now you have a a husband who's still maybe carrying grief. Yeah. Tell me what that was like.
SPEAKER_00It was like it was it seems a little harsh to say, I guess, but it was like somebody else made the mistakes, but I'm the one that was paying for it, if that makes sense. So there were things that upset him that I'm like, you're I feel like you're overreacting. You know what I mean? Because first of all, you're still trying to get to know each other, and and it's different, right? When dating and you're and if you do it the right way, you're not together, right? And then you come together, and then like things are bothering him, and you're like, I didn't know, you know what I mean? Like, so you're just trying to learn, but some there were some responses that my sins or my problems that I have to deal with hit him in the like right, right, right. And all of those, yeah. And it's so it magnified because he's thinking, I'm gonna lose her forever, you know, or just like so he overreacted or overreacted, yeah, probably the best word, but it and I just would be so overwhelmed. I was so overwhelmed. I had no personal space. Everybody's messing with my personal personal space all the time, you know. And uh, you know, I I was so used to spending time by myself that we wouldn't mind.
SPEAKER_02I mean, those ages, you know, five and seven are still very much. I mean, a five-year-old to me is still like a toddler in a very much, I mean, what is coming out of toddler, yes, ages, you know, age, but the fact is that these children are pulling on you. Yeah, they need you, they're you're cooking, preparing, cleaning, doing all those things, and then you still have a husband, and their children are grieving, right? So, you know, I was thinking most women that marry someone who's been previously married, you know, they deal with the exes, they deal with the past trauma from that marriage, you know, they deal with um even just the the pain of that own you the husband's, you know, life, right?
SPEAKER_00Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And in the situation where this new spouse is remarried and it's not, it's all of those things and trauma. Right. And the loss. Right. So and we're talking about, you know, you marry him in a year, he's only been a widower for a year. So, you know, like you're talking about a two-year time frame, but for him, right? So he still hasn't dealt with a lot of the past pains of his ex-wife, you know, not even ex, his, you know, his wife is gone. You know what I mean? Like he still has all of these things that haven't been addressed and haven't been dealt with. And so obviously you're his wife now. So a lot of things that he's carrying is gonna come out on you. Right. And that's generally what happens to people that we love the most. That's where the Bible says, and the two shall become one, right? Because the spouse is going to reveal what's in you. Oh, yeah. And that's what you were doing.
SPEAKER_00Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02What you how you were living was revealing what was in him, right? And vice versa. Oh, absolutely. And the children, right? Right. So now you have to truly be a rescuer. Yeah. You truly have to be. And how did you get to that place of being able, you know, because we haven't really delved into that, but I know that it was hard. I know that it was painful. And as I stated when we opened up that, well, the dream that God answers becomes a place where you're refined. Right. You know, most people think about their dreams, you know, that's why I want from God. I want him to give me this, you know, whether it's a husband, whether it's babies, when you think of all of life's dreams, you never sit and think about that. Might be the very place that God is going to make you better. Oh, that might be the very place that God is going to refine you, develop you, and maybe even turn up the fire, uh-huh. You know, seven times hotter. And so just for a few minutes, just tell us what that looked like. The, you know, seeing what was coming out of you, seeing what you were faced with. You made a decision to marry a man who, you know, lost his wife and has two small children. How did you get over into allowing God to refine you?
SPEAKER_00Ooh, well, I will say when you live your when you're in your own little bubble, right? I was thinking about it actually this morning. It's like I thought, oh my goodness, I am God's favorite. Okay. I, you know, you just have this idea, like, I've walked so much with the Lord. I have this, you know, intimate relationship with him. And I was thinking about, because I love working out as you know, you know. I was thinking about it and comparing it to like, it's like lift weights all the time, right? And you've got like such strong legs, like you're really, you know, you're making progress. You have the PRs, you know, doing all this stuff. And then you decide, well, I'm so fit. I'm gonna go run a marathon. Okay. Okay. And then you're like, I can't run at all.
SPEAKER_02Like how fit you are. If you don't prepare for it, it's not boring. Right?
SPEAKER_00It doesn't, it's not so while yes, the Lord had done some beautiful things in my life, and yes, he had worked on different areas of my life, I thought, you know, I'm thinking, oh, I I have this great relationship with the Lord, and and then I get into this other space where I'm constantly being unsettled and disturbed, you know, just in a just the way that you would disturb the water and it stirs something up. I thought, you know, oh, I'm so holy and I'm like devastated when you know I'm in marriage. I'm yelling nasty things. I just and then I think later, like, gosh, who am I? You know, I feel so disappointed in myself because gosh, I thought, Lord, I thought we were through all this. You know, I thought I had taken care of all my daddy issues or you know, just the things that you the Lord works on us, you know, and and but it goes deeper. He's so kind to go deeper. So it was definitely man for a season. If I was being really honest, please I was kind of mad at God. I said, You tricked me. Yeah, yeah, and I yeah, he doesn't trick us, he doesn't, he makes his promise. I feel that way. I feel like I did not know it was gonna be this hard. I didn't know. And I I was like, I don't know how he would have told me. I'm not really sure how we would have gone that space, but I journaled often and I was just like, Lord, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to love like you love, I don't know how to forgive like you forgive, and to to open my heart in that space, and you know, God's just so kind, He really is so kind to draw us into His Word, and and you know, a safe space, a safe space for me was worship.
SPEAKER_02I love just to go back to this, you know, I love what you're saying, and I love that you were vulnerable enough to say, like, you know, I came out of myself. You know, there was a side of my flesh that I let be revealed. Yeah. And we can go through life when we're undisturbed, like you said. And I love that statement that you made where we think like, I'm better. I'm better, I'm doing better. I mean, you know, I don't lose it anymore. I don't, you know, think too too bad of the wrong thoughts. Oh, yeah, like people don't tick me off. Right. You know, I'm I'm kind, I'm all of these things until God puts you in the test, until God puts you there, where your nerves are tested, right? Or buttons are being pushed, where you get to see your limitations. And so just tell me one more time like that. The statement that you said about I'm holy.
SPEAKER_00I thought I was so holy, but I just I was undisturbed.
SPEAKER_02That's powerful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that that's powerful, and that was the reality. Like that's how you come to grips with like, how can I react this way? How can I be so mean and spiteful? How could I have so much better? Because, like you said, like I love people, but I could also be like, eh, we're done, you know. I it's been nice, thank you very much. I'm gonna go back to my art map.
SPEAKER_02See ya, see ya, exactly. And so I I think that that's what the picture or the dream of. If I have a husband, if I have a companion, you know, and I I can do life with, we can he can cuddle me, he can romance me, he can do all these great things for me, provide for me, but you never stop to think that they're gonna get on your last nerves, yeah, that they're gonna test you, that they're gonna try you, that the things that you had saw in the beginning, you may not, they may not be there as much as you desired. They may even, you may even say, where'd they go? He tricked me.
SPEAKER_00Excuse me.
SPEAKER_02You know, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00And so where's my packed lunch that you made? That is so sweet. Yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Where's that lunch, Av? Trust me, I've been married for 30 years, I know, you know, and and I think that that's where we realize that this is why the Bible tells us that God desires us to be holy. He said, Be holy even as I am holy, yeah, like none other. And that's what marriage is like, like none other. Nobody can get on your nerves, and nobody can push you to go and really get in your flesh as much as your spouse and right. But that's the beauty, like you shared. That's the beauty of God. Bring He said, You're becoming one wise, so that you can see who you are, and so you can be better. Yep. So you can be better. That's the goal, is so that you can be holy, you can be better, you can be set apart, and you can, and this is what I love is that you said, Lord, I can't love like you. I can't be as kind the way, but the truth is, is God showed you say you can. Yes, you can't. That is the reward is that you don't. I know from my own experience, you don't know how much love of God is in you until you use it. Yes, until you're pressed, yes, until you're pressed to the point of you either fall off the cliff and do your own thing, or you either stand and you say, The love of God is in me, the spirit of God is in me. I can be peaceable, yes, I can be patient, I can have joy, I can be gentle, I can be kind, I can be faithful. Yes, that's how you know Christ is in you. That's right. Otherwise, how do you know?
SPEAKER_00It's obvious in the fruit. Yeah, the fruit that comes out. Well, and that's what I'm saying. Thank the Lord that He doesn't leave us undisturbed. Yeah, because the fruit that was in there before is not like the fruit today. You know what I mean? It took a it's been a process and a journey, and it doesn't come by leaving it in the dark. Yeah, and that's the beautiful thing about when you're married to someone that loves the Lord, yeah. You you both go back to the Lord. Amen. And your coming, maybe it doesn't always get delivered beautifully, you know, the way that maybe your spouse says it or you say it or whatever. But the beauty is that God can work even in our shortcomings, he can work out if you can't create spiritual, or you can just be angry all the time. But who you get miserable, like yeah, I just want to live like that. You know, that's not a fun way to live. Like because I, you know, I can be stubborn, right? Yeah, I have my moments, and uh it definitely took me a season to wrestle it out with him, but ultimately my heart really was Lord, I want what you want. I just need you to help me get there.
SPEAKER_02Amen.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, I love that it's in the it's in the fruit.
SPEAKER_02I love that you shared that you, you know, had all these emotions and these feelings, you know, just learning how to be a wife and learning how to be a mother at the same time. What would you say was the hardest? You know, which would you say being a wife or being a mother?
SPEAKER_00Well, that's a really tough question. Yeah. I will say probably being a mother was the most foreign. I am the oldest. Okay. Um, I it's just me and my sister. Um, so I have a little like a little bit of understanding of what you know, younger person. But for me, like the idea of you know, being a wife, it kind of also correlates to being a good friend, right? You wanting to be good friends. And I've had a lot of friends, you know, because when you're single, you just you know, you make all this friends and you hang out with friends and do the whole thing. So that seemed less scary and less hard because also like we're in it together, right? Like he it's like, hey, we we made this decision that we were gonna go through this.
SPEAKER_02So you're a parenting together. So this is not you just alone just because you are the mom and stepping in.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02You are do do they call you mom? They do know. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. For the youngest, her name's Kaylee. It only took her a few months to get used to the idea because she actually didn't didn't really remember her mom. So she was way more open to it. Okay. For our oldest DJ, it took him a few years. Okay. Yeah. So when we it was after we moved back to Texas, well, first time for them, plus back for me to Texas. And actually, it was after we got a dog. Okay. They kind of helped warm the idea. The dog me a dog. You said yes, DJ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's so it was it was kind of it just softened his heart, I think, a little bit more to the idea of calling me mom.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And you said that how did you and Dustin um get to the place where things began to get easier? I know you mentioned friendship was very important to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Is that what God used where I mean, because you were his wife, but you were his friend, or you know, started off as friends as well. How did you guys get to the place where things started to, I guess, gel and come together and you guys could function as just a family, not a necessarily a blended family, just family.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I do think time helped, which is it's helpful because in my mind and my timetable, I I thought things would happen faster, right? But it was a lot of change for all of us. The kids were living at a different place and then moved, and they didn't have a mom and now they have a mom. And and then a year after we got married, we all we all left and moved, you know, and then my prayer change, it was wild. So I I just, you know, time really did help because the Lord works in the little things, you know. It was a couple years ago. I just I made this commitment when I came out of my my home of my immediate family. There just wasn't a lot of like honesty and and speaking the truth and and being vulnerable. Okay. And so I had made the decision that I was gonna be like that. Okay. And I was always very honest with Dustin. Sometimes it didn't come out as loving as it should have, but I always let him know where I was, and that was a skill that he had to learn. And I and we had to wrestle through that space. But Dustin's heart was always wanting to get better. Like his heart was like, I know I'm not succeeding at this today, but my intention is to grow. And so after a couple of years of being here, we just kind of hit this space where he was overwhelmed and with just work stuff in our and our home life because we had moved because he has family in California. Okay. So we moved away from family because my family still lives in Austin. So we weren't close to our family. So it was just the four of us all time. Right. And so that you know, just that stressor and then his work stress, and he just had chosen some outlets that weren't the best. And so he decided that he was gonna go to counseling. And so he really leaned out into counseling and had this wonderful counselor that spoke truth and challenged him.
SPEAKER_02Hey man.
SPEAKER_00And he just it really did something for him, or it just like it just certain things just started clicking for him, and he learned about boundaries because I was talking to him about boundaries just with like workspace or family stuff. And and uh, and so it just started making sense and he really was leaning into that. And so after that season, he was way more intentional with us, he was way more. We need time, we I want to talk, I want to go through these things, and and it really shifted our relationship. Like honestly, wow, he's the best friend I could have asked. I always wanted, like he wanted that too, and so he leaned into that space, and it just has been so beautiful. Yeah, it's been so good, and it makes some of the stuff with the kids when they have their stuff, they have their stuff, right? Makes it easier for us because we're on the same page.
SPEAKER_02Same page. And what are the kids' ages now? They're 14 and 12. Okay, well, so you guys have been married seven years, seven years. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah, that's such a uh a blessing to be able to know that God can. Can take something that of it started beautiful. I mean, you know, but the as I said in the beginning, that you can receive an answer to prayer and it'd be a blessing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But you just don't need to forget that that blessing might be there to teach you too.
SPEAKER_00Yes, ma'am.
SPEAKER_02And what I recognize here is it sounds like God used you also to heal a family. Yeah. Like you can't ever replace the mom.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Did you see yourself as someone that God was using? I mean, you had to get over into this after your time, but like you tricked me, God. You know what I mean? Like, I've I've heard my husband say that quite a few times. It feels like God has tricked me. And many times that comes from not being confused.
SPEAKER_00Right. Just not knowing how it all goes together, not understanding the space that you're in. Yeah. Because he sees the full picture.
SPEAKER_02There you go.
SPEAKER_00And he's like, you just are not there yet.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right. And we're like, You're not on the other side.
SPEAKER_02You're not on the other side yet.
SPEAKER_00Because we're all gonna go through stuff, right? We're all gonna have moments where, oh, this is not how I thought. Right. This is how I thought my life was gonna shine out, right? I didn't think I was gonna get married later. Right. I was gonna be younger. I didn't think that my first kids would be not my biological kids. You know, there's so many things that like you just think, Lord, what are we doing here?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, this is this is a little bit different.
SPEAKER_00You know, this is you did answer my prayer, but wait a minute. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's different. Yeah. What would you say to the woman or you know, newly wife or a wife who is, you know, experiencing some of the, you know, maybe it is that her husband was a widower and he had kids. You know, I guess we could stick to just that. But someone who has gotten married and now they're saying, God, you tricked me. Right. This is not what I signed up for. This is not what I wanted. Whoop, would you say to that woman?
SPEAKER_00Lean into the Lord. You have to. You've got to lean into that space with him because God is using that space to reveal something, to heal something, to bring truth and grace and revelation and a testimony. Like we have to lean into the Lord.
SPEAKER_02Like what does leaning in look like to you?
SPEAKER_00It means I go to him.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00I go to him. I'm I'm not trying to figure out all the answers to myself because I don't I don't have them. Yeah. Right. So it's it's seeking his word, it's praying and journaling. Journaling for me was pretty revealing for how it really felt. You know, you just kind of keep going, you're like, wow, I this you know I feel all of this. I feel I feel I have a lot of feelings. Yeah. So journaling was huge for me. Having godly friends speak into this situation, worship is huge. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, we'll just wanted the I know you said that you wrote a song, yeah, you know, not even knowing that this is really God ministering to me. Just give us a little taste.
SPEAKER_00A little taste of it. It was called going through the fire. Going through the fire is how I know you more. Let the flames burn brighter and I will follow you. Wow. Yeah. I want you to keep going. It was like it comes from the idea of the the boys that got thrown into the fire, right? Yeah. They were in a situation that seemed impossible, right? And they're like, We're only gonna worship the Lord. So here they are, they're gonna live with whatever consequences come out. They were in the fire with Jesus. Yes, he was literally in there with so you think, what if my greatest problem brings me the closest I've ever been to the Lord? Amen. I think that's his heart for us. He wants us in that, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02This do I know? I know that is the greatest testimony that a believer could have is that I'm in the fire in the hottest season and most traumatic season of my life, and there seems to be no way out. Right. There seems like there's no one to rescue me, but Jesus has promised to be in the fire with you. Yes. And you said something prior to even entering into it. You said when you lean into him, if even if you're not in a fire, when you get in that fire, you're more than likely to go to him again. Right. To keep going back to him again, because that's what the fire really does. It it causes you to cry out. Right. That's what God wants us to do. He wants us to cry out to him and not to, you know, of course, in our humanity, we may feel like a situation is hopeless.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Like, yeah, trip me, I'm done, I'm out. I mean, I I used to tell the story, not it's not a story, but the reality, I as I was out of my marriage a thousand times. But I always went back to God and said, but God. Yeah, but God.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so we can be so quick to make a move that we forget that. Wait a minute. Yeah. He said, if I go through the fire, he's with me. He said, I won't come out smelling like smoke. I won't be burned. Right. You know, and then he says that I'll come out.
SPEAKER_00Do you think do you ever thought about the thing that bound you when you went in doesn't come back out with you?
SPEAKER_02Amen.
SPEAKER_00They weren't bound anymore when they went back.
SPEAKER_02That's right. They came out loose.
SPEAKER_00And they didn't smell like smoke. Isn't that powerful? Yes. That thing that held you when you went in there, that unforgiveness, that bitterness, that whatever that unholy thing was.
SPEAKER_02That's right. It's gone. That's right. And that's the power of staying close. That's the power of abiding. Yeah. That's the power of recognizing that this thing isn't meant to kill me. If you're going through something in your marriage, if you're going through anything in your life, the truth is, is you don't like it. It's painful, it's traumatic, and it's a very difficult place to be in, but it's not somewhere that God has not been. Right. He has already promised to go ahead of you. And so the goal is to know that God knows when to pull you out of the fire. He knows when to deliver you. And if you just wait on him, he has promised, like you said, yeah. The the bondage, the things that are holding you, and the things that you want off, you want the shackles off, the chains off. You want to be loose, you want to be free. God will do it for you, and you will not come out smelling like smoke. Amen. And that's just such a powerful testimony to the to the presence of God in our lives. Now, where do you see God's faithfulness most clearly now?
SPEAKER_00I think it's in the way that He is that much more present. And honestly, even with how Dustin has changed over the years and his heart for me and the way that he expresses life and the way that he's become such a such a closer friend. And, you know, getting to to partner with him in life and in raising the kids and you know, what God has for us is that's definitely a beautiful area, a beautiful testimony of God's faithfulness. But you know, when you go through the fire, right? When you go in that space and you do get to see him as he is, it just makes it so much sweeter.
SPEAKER_02Like when you lean in and you know, so when you don't quit, when you don't give up, when you don't stop praying, when you don't stop worshiping, when you don't stop saying, Lord, I trust you. Yes, when you don't stop giving in, you know, when you you just make a decision that I'm gonna stay in the fight, I'm gonna stay in prayer, I'm gonna be stay a worshiper, I'm gonna continue to serve the Lord, you are going to come out on the other side.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yeah. Oh, absolutely, and it's how sweet it is and how much more fulfilling is all the things that you get to do. Yeah, how much more fulfilling is leaning into worship and declaring out his faithfulness, like a song like Do It Again, yeah, a scene move, you move the mountains. I believe I'll see you do it again. Yes, see, I'm telling you, like that is come on, join me. But it's but I mean, how much sweeter is that space with him because you have history with the Lord that says, My God has done this for me, yeah, and he will do it again. How much more faith do we have? How much more can we stand the next fire or the next strong whatever it is? Because they're gonna come. Life is not you know packaged in this pretty little box with its bow, and here you go. Like we've we've got to. I always kind of equate it to hiking, right? That's the goal, and it looks beautiful, yes, but wow, are there some valleys around?
SPEAKER_02That you've got to go through to get to the guilt to it, but it's worth it. It is worth it, it's worth it. Yeah, mentioning hiking, we know you love uh hiking, so you're athletic. Just you know, when we met, one of the things that got my attention is you said that you feel like yourself now. You know, I think for the last two years, yeah, you feel more like yourself because God had brought you through a season of about five years.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so what does that mean that you feel like yourself now?
SPEAKER_00In the season or in the beginning of our marriage, I had a lot of like I felt very alum. I didn't know very many people that were in the space that I was in. Most of them were young and didn't have any kids and were just getting married, and they were, you know, sure.
SPEAKER_02It was just from their family life, just their family. They're not someone else's family becoming your family. Right. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. And so it just and then we moved and COVID happened, and it was just and I had a job change, and so all these things happened, and I felt life was out of control, and it just felt hard and it was heavy. So you take all of that, and my community was different because I left the community that I had developed in in California, and while yes, I'm from Texas, Austin and Dallas aren't that close. So I'm not seeing that community. That's true, that's true. So building community is so huge, it was it was a big thing for me. So the last couple years.
SPEAKER_02So you've lost your friends and essentially.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, sure, we still connect, but it's not the same, right? So it really has only been over the last couple years. I've been on the worship team at Gateway Frisco for a little over four years. Okay. But it's been the last two years that I felt more plugged in and hey, I know you, and hey, let's, you know, we would do step outside, a weekend service or whatever. My communities was built up. Okay. Dustin was really leaning into our relationship and really making me feel more secure, more love, more caring, more cherished. Yeah, just beautiful. There was a little bit more familiarity to our family dynamic and what it looked like to be us, not me and them, right? So there was more, there was more tying together. And honestly, part of the other thing that helped me feel like me was I I finally found a gym that I felt connected to, and I was working out and just oh, it was so good, good space to be in, and they're just really good people. Because I had been to some other places I kind of felt like I don't really know, but really love this gym. I've been with them for almost two years, and so it's so all of those things, it just kind of like I feel like me again. Like I'm working out like I like to, you know, home is more familiar and comfortable. My relationship with my husband is beautiful.
SPEAKER_02There's just things that just it's sweet, and I it came around. I don't know if full circle, maybe full circle still does work in your case because it's a new family or you're just a new husband, and then you have two little ones that grow up with you, time with you. This is what this is a moment where time really does make a difference, especially in you know, smaller children, giving them the opportunity to feel nurtured and cared for and supported and their father with the woman that he's chosen, you know, and it just makes sense that and then coming to Texas as a family. So you said it right. God was using all of these little moves, like you know, these little chest moves. You know, God's got one more moon, you know, where he is orchestrating your lives and your family so that you feel knitted together. Yeah, you know, there's a scripture in the Psalms that says that he takes the isolated and places them in families, yeah. And that's what God did with you. And although the beginning wasn't easy, some people, you know, enter into a season of ease when marriage and possibly children, it not always, but I think sometimes when God does a quick work, it's because it's gonna last, because you can be sustained in the fact that God from the beginning was at work and it wasn't just you know a cruise ship, right? It was a battleship, right? You know, and it's so good. And that battleship has made you to who you are today, to where, like you said, and I said that about you is that you have this statue, this natural height, but you have that in the spirit too. Yeah, and I believe that it's because when we stand on God's word, yeah, amen, makes us taller. Come on, it sure does, makes us tall in the spirit, right? Right. So I love your story, I love your testimony, I love what God has done for you, Dustin, Kaylee, and DJ. Yes, yeah, and it's a beautiful work, and he's not finished. Okay, he's gonna continue to perform and perfect that thing that he's begun in your family, and he's gonna expand your family, he's gonna bless your womb, he's gonna give you the life that he's promised, that he's faithful to, that he keeps his word, that he was faithful in the beginning, he'll be faithful to the end. So thank you, thank you. And I just want to just segue real quick. You you love the gym. So just give us a little bit. What's the name of your gym? And just tell me a little bit about how that played that being in fitness and you know, taking care of yourself, that role that you know you have as a wife. How does that play into that? Does he work out?
SPEAKER_00Dustin does, yeah. He his looks different. Okay, um, he doesn't really like the CrossFit world. So I I go to Celina CrossFit. Amen. Okay, cool. So let's okay, I'll not know she for real. I do, I I have a thing, and this is probably why the Lord put me through it. I have this thing for I really love intense me too, intense stuff, me too, right? So I'm like, God, let's get in there and do the warrior. Yeah, there you go. Okay. So that's why I really connect with those people. And they, you know, every so hikers are like this too. They're just down to earth, they're friendly. Same has been uh with the CrossFit people, like they just are like a family. Yeah, they're like a family, they're like, hey, you know, there's very welcoming, which was not my experience in some other places. It felt very like, yeah, you're a new here, but we don't really yeah, and we don't really want to talk to you. And I'm just like, uh, you know, and I'm not it anyway, but so that's the gym that I go to. I really have enjoyed being uh with them. They're awesome, awesome people, and they're believers, and I just they're they're amazing. That's awesome. Yeah, that's it's it's a space for me when because what can happen when you get in a space where something's overwhelming, right? And you're just thinking about it, or you just like can't seem to clear it. That's why I love that bar workout because I can't think about anything else except for this really difficult workout. And then when when I'm done, I'm like, oh, well, that other thing doesn't seem as big of a problem as it did before. Right, right. And I can get through it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like that is building resilience. Like we're when you use your strength, when you use, you know, your body, when you put your body through something tough and difficult, like, yes, it's great to go for a walk. You can clear your mind and breathe and do these breathing, you know, things and and feel better about, you know, at least in that moment. But I believe that when you do something hard, come on now, because I know I'm thinking about me. You know, when you lift, when you do something out of your comfort zone, you are telling your mind, I can handle this. Yes, you know, yes, we have God, but we're telling our mind, our psyche, like, no, you're not going to lose it. You can endure, you can have resilience, you can, you know, overcome. The Bible says that we're more than overcomers. You know, not just overcomers, more. Right. And so that I love the physical part. I love CrossFit. I mean, I don't do it, I'll be breaking everything on me, but I love lifting heavy, and I love that you share with us that you know that it affects how you think and how you process life, situations, circumstances, being a wife, being a mother. And so, I mean, obviously, our encouragement is like work out, work out.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it is good for you. Lean into that space. Whatever is difficult for you now is going for a walk for you now, is difficult, then lean into that space. If it's running, whatever. There's all kinds of different ways you can lean into that space. But yeah, it's developing the resilience because it talks about that in the Bible. Yeah, like when you go through trials, let it have its work because it's developing that endurance in you. So, what does that do? It gives you the confidence in you and in the Lord. That's right. We can go through this, yeah. It can be hard and I can still do it. Yeah, it's not, I'm I'm not out. I may not lift it correctly right now, or I may not do that movement exactly right, but I'm showing up. Yes, I'm showing up, yes, and I'm gonna get a little bit better, a little bit free day because a girl, I'm out there mowing the yard in this hundred-degree weather. You know why I can do that? Just because I work out. Somebody was like, Oh, you want us to load up all your groceries in here? I was like, Yeah, I'll work out, put that in there. I can I can like that. Don't tell me I can't do it. Okay.
SPEAKER_02We need to be able to move stuff. Yes, absolutely. So I love it. I love it. It's such a gift again to have you here to be able to share. And I do pray, we do pray that you've been encouraged, that whatever you're walking through in your marriage, or if you're, you know, about to get married, maybe you're even someone who's going to be saying yes to someone that's a witterer and has children, and maybe he's not a widower, maybe just has children that he's raising and bringing. Our encouragement to you is that no matter what tests and what difficulties come your way, they're gonna come your way, is that you be prepared for it. Yeah, you know, the Bible says don't be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. I see Ephesians 5, 17. And so when you understand what the will of the Lord is in your situations and circumstances, you may not understand it all, right? But when you understand that God wants to reveal to you who you are so that he can refine you, perfect you, and grow you up in his will, in his word, then you're much more prepared for what is to come. Yeah, yeah, because life is going to happen regardless if you don't have the wisdom or not. You know, the thing is is be prepared.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'm thinking about the ten virgins, five foolish and five wise. You know, the five foolish, they were unprepared. But the five wise ones obviously they were prepared when the bridegroom came. So be prepared, be prepared. I can say it over and over with wisdom and understanding what the will of the Lord is. Once again, thank you for joining us here at Wisdom for Wives. And this is the place that we're sharing truth for for all women in all generations. Thank you, and God bless.