When Your Pot Needs Accessories, Does It Become Drugs? 🍃

This week on the porch we're smoking Unicorn Milk by Munchies — sweet notes of sherbet and, yes, Girl Scout Cookies — and picking up where we left off on the question that won't leave us alone: when does cannabis become drugs?

Tonight's verdict: it might be the accessories. Once you've got a bubbler, a bowl, a bong that's described as "really cute" — have you crossed a line? We debate, we disagree, and we land somewhere in the middle.

Also: Amanda catches a neighbor packing something into some kind of paraphernalia at 5:30 in the morning and cannot determine what, exactly, it was. The vibe she was catching was opium. Hailey gets paranoid by a noise on the walk home that turns out to be her own flip-flops. The creepy house delivers again. And somewhere in there, nap wood becomes a topic of conversation.

We don't make the rules. We just smoke on the porch and talk about them.

Pull up a chair. 🍃

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Haley. And I'm Amanda. And this is Moms on the Porch, the podcast for Moms Who Get It. Every week we're on the porch talking cannabis culture, mom life, adult friendship, and everything in between. No guilt, no gatekeeping, just good conversation and zero apologies. If you've ever stepped outside after bedtime and finally exhaled, this one's for you.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Enjoy your drugs, ladies.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

So where is your microphone? Oh my god. What is this? So I've got a couple things that I'll have information about. Okay. I guess the party.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Okay, we're so sophisticated with our weed now that we smoke from a brand that has collection. It looks so pretty in the picture. Honestly, it's probably why I'm gonna go. Tonight we're smoking Unicorn Milk by Munchies. We've done that a couple weeks in a row now. Munchies. We like munchies. Unicorn milk is a distinctive hybrid that's the perfect balance. Experience a potent, sedative body high that will leave you comfortable in your space for hours with a slight head buzz. Comfortable in your space for hours. Although this strain is heavy in smell, you'll be sure to smell it from down the block. The aroma isn't an indication of flavor. Expect sweet notes of sherbet and girl scout cookies to complement its fruity aroma. Unit milk offers relaxing body high that's expansive and uplifting. This strain is known for its high THC content and sweet taste, making it perfect for any cannabis connoisseur.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

I got like a bad taste in my mouth from that one that we did that day. That lemony one. I did not like that taste. You remember though, that lemon? It was like a it was like a cleaning lemony taste. I didn't like it. And I usually don't taste anything. Yeah, see? Ready. That was a big one. That was a big one. What were they doing up the street today? Big one. Huh? Do you know what they were doing up there? They. Oh, construction. They're redoing the street. Our street. That one. Not our street. You would see that. I hope it doesn't come down here. My kids. Are you allowed to drive on that right now? Like, how do you think people would get home? Exactly. Terrible question. Oh, come on. What do you have to do? Fly? Park in a different area?

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Park on another street? And walk home? What is this? Big city. Bustling metropolis we live in over here.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Too big, too big. Yeah, that last. I ripped that way too hard. Uh-huh. Ouch. Yeah, but you're not gagamuffin as much as I am. Wait. Oh, that was it. That's all? That was this fucking tease. Nope. Did you tell your mom you're doing the signing stuff today? So maybe she'll take them, she'll keep them longer.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

What's no, I didn't tell them. They're swimming though. I really I'm shocked last time how early they came. Oh my god. That was such a womp. Talk about a tease.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Talk about the opposite of a womp. Yeah, it's always the opposite of a bad kind of womp. No, it was the opposite. It was the bad womp. Yeah. What are you looking at, Swan? Why are you looking at me, Swan? Oh, here. Okay. So these are the stupid videos that I've been entertaining myself with. My dad also has stupid videos that he's been entertaining himself with, but we're talking night and day differential of like stupidity.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Probably best if we just ease into this. We'll start with white. Oh, do you want to go first?

SPEAKER_02 2:40

I'll go first. By the way, I'm not filming this video with you. If we know it, I will not film this video with you. We are smoking this so fast. Should I save this for real?

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Oh that's funny. So that's the first one, and I said that to my dad, and he started laughing. I was like, thank god, I'm not the only one. And then there's a second one that I've now shown the girls, and I've at least watched 10 times. So anyway, our first topic, because it's a short one, and I don't have to think too much about the topic. I'm pretty wonked from this, I'm gonna say. It's good. And I don't know how much of that we really smoked. Almost the whole thing, from what I can tell. Three quarters of it. More than that. There is enough. It's just the tip is left.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Well, so ready for this one? Yeah. I'm gonna try some more sour candy while you tell me stories. Okay, number one. This might be new for you. Do you hear the the birds are fornicating now?

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Birds fighting. They're fornicating. You sound like they're fighting when we saw the flies fornicating. Yeah, that was weird. We had a whole new family in the playground, by the way. We made up, it was a whole family. There was babies, and we were following. It was a half hour that were you weird about this? No. And I was playing along. It was very weird. So seeing that for the longest time, you and I were strictly girl mom. And only a couple years ago, now a few years ago, did it we throw a boy into this mix. So neither of us had any experience with the male genitalia. Well, you know, the little male genitalia. Baby male genitalia? What are you about to tell me? I don't know. You made it weird. I made it weird. Yeah, we're going. I've never wiped, I've never had to change a penis. I've never a boy, a baby, a boy, I've never had to do it. So it was a new experience. I have. I never did. So which it really has nothing to do with this story except for the fact that, like, I don't know what this thing does in a baby age. Sure. Or what this thing is capable of. I mean you're playing by it. He only peed once out of a day, like when we were changing. One time. But you know what he does do? Yes. The sour souring, sorry. And you know who's the one who only typically has seen it? You mom. I refer it to nap wood. I don't know what you're talking about. Nap wood. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

You've heard of men having morning wood, right? Of course. Well, after a nap, uh because I don't typically see him the minute he wakes up. He wakes up, he calls me, he's already had time to wake up. I have to sometimes wake him up from a nap. So he's still like almost half asleep. And it is morning wood. I mean nap wood. Oh Jesus. Yes. And I am not prepared for every time it happens. I am like, this is just weird. Yeah. Didn't know that that happened. And then you gotta put a diaper over it. It's just I honestly don't even know what to say to that. Yeah. So, all right, let's see if I can remember. Oh, okay. At the party. Yes, tell me about your party. Okay. So there's two women. They don't one does a little bit, partakes, the other one does not. So the three of us are having a conversation, and the two of them break into like books. You know my book situation. I don't think the viewers, the listeners do because I we didn't talk about soccer in that capacity. But when the whole soccer shit went down, that I was gonna start to bring a book. And then you've been relegated to a sideline book club. Yeah. And I've never haven't touched a book in 25 years. Yeah. They're talking books, and I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. No idea. So I kind of backed out of it. But I was listening to them and they were saying that one of these books had them in tears, like crying, like was emotional. And I'm like, I have to remove myself from this conversation because the other night I was crying watching Love Island. Oh my god. Yeah, I was like, I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yep. I've actually never seen that show, but the fact that you were crying at that based on what I know of it.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Yeah, this is the PMS statement I'm in. I am so emotional over stupid, and I know it. I'm saying I cannot believe this is happening right now, but it's happening. Me putting it on my switcher. No, me crying over these stupid fucking things on TV. That's silly. So there was that. And then at one point we're standing up watching the next game, and it's Mike and I. And we he turned around and he realized we were kind of blocking somebody. But like when I turned around and looked, and he was sitting there, we were, his eyes were like this, not even open. We're leaving and we're saying goodbye. And he's like, Oh man, you look so fuck fucked up. Mike, he goes, I don't smoke. The other person then's gonna I don't smoke. Yeah, Mike's like he's gotta be so drunk. I I don't know what was was he just squinting to see the TV? They were tinier than that. It was tinier than a squint. It was like they weren't even open. It was so funny. Yeah. Okay, so here's the thing there aren't many nights. Okay, take it back a little bit. I am typically some type of high most nights, whether it's this or I drunk, drank, drunk, it drink, drink, drunk. Yeah, or I ate it, right? But there are not all of those nights can like I hang out with my husband and he drinks or whatever. So we stay up later and we let the kids stay up later because that's a whole process. So we do it to ourselves in a way, because we know like there aren't good consequences of this, right? But it's the risk you take. When we came home that night, or when the kids got home which night? Friday. Oh, after our house. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, terrace. My God. Mine too. And I blame it on overtired, but like, oh, it is so the fucking behavior that I just, I just, I just find myself losing it. You know? It's so it is a special brand of tired. It's a different type of nag, you know? It's over the top. It is it's not that I don't, I mean, I did it to myself. It's enraging though. It's so sh annoying and just just it's just too much. And it's 10 30, and that's the last thing I freaking feel like dealing with right now. But again, I put myself in this situation. My kids were up till 11:30.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

That one night on Friday night. Oh god. Yeah. I think I fell asleep before they did. I think Jax wouldn't still fall asleep in the crib. Because they were so tired they couldn't fall asleep.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yeah. It was overtired. But the reaction of overtired. Woofa. Yeah, I don't know how to parent that with Harper. I must have been a little high at your house when I watched you deal with the whole, I want to say something, I want to get them, they're not listening to me. Yeah. And like she couldn't let it go. Yeah. I don't know how you hand I don't know how you break that.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

I don't either because I was trying to redirect the behavior.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

I know I watched you handling it. I'm like, I don't know how she and it just kept going and going. And like she kept coming back with more. And I'm like, but we all agree she didn't even know what she wanted to say. Right. She didn't care about that part. She needed step one to be complete before she got to step two, which is collect the children.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

Yes, but I've been noticing this too with her in groups lately. She gets really frustrated when people don't listen to her or don't want to play what she wants to play. Right. And I don't know. I feel like that's one of those things that's hard to parent in the moment because they're like, she doesn't want to hear that message from me. They're like, you've got to play what other kids want to play. It's not, you know. And like this is something I parent in the moment with Eva. That happens at school without you. Right. Apparently it doesn't. I asked her teacher about that. And I'm wondering if they give in to people, or does she require them to play what she wants to do? No, no, no. I'm Miss her teacher says she's never, she never behaves that way at school. I'm struggling to parent this, but they say at school she's not doing she's not behaving that way. And I'm wondering if she's like this at home now because at school she's just giving in to everybody.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yeah, but then you would feel like she would maybe we would get know how to deal with that or become used to it, kind of, and not stretch it out. Like she ruined a lot of her night hanging out with the kids because she was so yeah harped on what she whatever it was that she wanted to say, but she didn't even know what she wanted to say.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Yes, and then it became she knew exactly what she wanted to say, and then they still wouldn't listen to her. I'm like, well, this is because you're not telling them what you what you want, you're just like bossing everyone around into the corner. And then I like struck me like a lightning bolt this idea of trying to teach through the Bluey episode that I knew she knew exactly what I was talking about.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Came up with that. I was so proud of myself.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

I was like, that was very no, the powers that be where that was great, mom. You know how to solve this.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Um I think my brain was like, Did she just do that?

SPEAKER_02 10:23

I was I was like shocked saying the exact same thing to my brain. Did she just do that?

SPEAKER_01 10:28

I know, and you oh you had like 15.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Yeah, yeah. I was on 15. Yeah, I thought that would work and didn't. I did too. I was holding on for you because I was like, she may have found the answer. I I think I like half found the answer. Like, she didn't hate that response. She did it was an it was an acceptable example and she I think she connected the dots a little bit, but I'm gonna use this now on her when I like I try to parent as as gently as possible in situations like that too, because I don't want to trigger a super explosive reaction from her, and I don't want to make her feel embarrassed that I'm like correcting her in front of other people. So I try to find that balance. Yeah, yeah. And then what I will do is after there's been sleep, because I know also this happens mostly when she's exhausted. So I I like to address it the next morning and I'll tell her, like, after we've had some sleep tomorrow morning, let's talk about this. That's where I'll try to parent through the situation. And then if it's anytime with Ava, then I'll parent as it's happening and be more did you say anything during the next day or no? Or just kind of let it ride. Oh, I forgot about it. You did.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

You gotta take notes. You gotta nonsense yourself.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

I know. Tell me about it. I should have nonsensed you right then. I was like, oh, that bluey episode's gonna, I'm keeping that in my back pocket for the like when we have the conversation. I'm gonna explain it that way and find the episode and we'll watch the episode again and say, see, that's how when you're not getting your way. I need to maybe I need to bring some bluey back. Maybe it's too much TV popper shows. What is this show? It's really like tween shit. Like what? Tell me. There's some gymnastics show on Netflix that they like, some like Australian mermaid show. We're on YouTube. I don't want them watch YouTube unless it's with one of us. They can watch if it's one of us and it's gotta be educational. So they'll watch like stuff about sports or science, or if they have a random question about how weather works, I'll let them watch that kind of video, but I don't let them scroll. Oh yeah, we are on a scroll and a scroll. That's not to say higher holier than now thing. We used to let them do that. I found that when I took it away, they were much better behaved, so I just took it away.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

And I will say that my daughters have been very well behaved for a very long time. Yeah, your kids are good. I just don't know how he's gonna wind up because he has been scrolling since I mean they grow the girls weren't doing it as much as he is now because they are. Yeah. So I don't know how that's gonna weed itself out, but I guess time will tell. Yeah, but also everyone's just their own person. I also like to think that he learns a lot from the girls, yeah, for sure. And they tell him, like, no, when he does something wrong, kind of thing. I don't know where he heard it from, but he heard he was saying the first line of it. Oh, you're a bad, you're a bad girl and nobody likes you. Yeah, we're like, uh no, that was a fun stage. Now he catches himself and he does it and he just stops saying it. That specific phrase. The second part. We oh they've been doing it. This the three of them have been they joke around all the time, like, oh, you're a bad boy, that's a bad boy. So now he says, everybody's a bad boy. Some but you can be a good girl, but you a bad boy. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Riddle me that. I feel like slightly walked. I don't know if you're maybe brainwalked.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

No, I'm like coherent. This would be a good I could socialize on this. Well, maybe not the first 20 minutes. No, not the first 20 minutes. We also smoked that really hard and fast.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

We smoked that we did pretty hard and fast. Anything like American Pie. Although, again, I think I was womped more on American Pie and longer. I do love that strain. Should we check and see where it's available? For sure. That was a good one. You know what I also am kind of realizing, maybe sort of kinda. I was a wreck yesterday, all day and at night. I think I was like, I I said this at the party. I was like, Yeah, we're this is that's how I did the podcast with my neighbor. She told me I need to take a break from weed. Because your tolerance seems to have. I was like, she said that. So I didn't do it yesterday because you told me not to. And then look at me. Oh, it's my fault. Oh, Jesus. Sure, just blame me. It wasn't because you fell asleep. I really was thinking, I was like, maybe I'll just do like a little bit. Then I'm like, I do kind of feel like I do need a break, but I don't know. It was like a clusterfuck of no, I um fucks.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

I was so tired last night because I power washed for seven hours. Oh, yeah. So my body was as exhausted. What? Who? What the girls with the power wash. No, that would hurt.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

I know.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

I would never do that. I hit my foot a couple times. I was like, ow, oh. We should see my looks so clean.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

What? The the no you own one. You own one. So I don't know if you remember that I rented one from Home Depot. I do not. You don't?

SPEAKER_02 14:39

When?

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Oh when I was power washing the gazebo. Oh, I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I didn't I don't think I knew that.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Really? I almost died. From a power washer? Uh-huh. How? What did you do to yourself? So I went there and I picked it up. So we're saying user error. This is a story about user error. I went to pick it up. I had jacks with me. I didn't know how much those things weighed. Oh. They're at least 80 pounds. Ours isn't that big, but it was tremendous. So I had to pick it up, put it inside my car, which I couldn't do, and then proceed to take it out when I got home. And then I had to return it before, like at a certain time. So I had to put it back in my car and then take it out. Oh, why did you not call anybody for help? I call I okay. This is the day that I texted Al and I said, Do you have a minute? Can you come help me? And I don't know if he got back to me like 15 minutes. I'm like, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I got it up with like a piece of it in the car, so I felt like I could push it up, and it started to fall back on me. And it and I don't know how I maneuvered my body away from it collapsing on my body. Yeah, and I freaked the fuck out. And somehow I got it in. Oh my god, that was a fucking nightmare. Who knew that those things weighed so much? Oh my god. Yeah, they're pretty heavy.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

I mean, ours is pretty heavy, it's not that heavy. I was struggling to pull it up the steps yesterday because I just did the back and like I have to move the hose to finish the house, but I can only go like halfway on the right.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Right? Should we read up this? Yeah. Yes? No? Yeah. Like I'm pulling your leg.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

No, my neck hurts. Because I power washed for seven hours yesterday. My whole body is sore. I can't believe this school year's already over.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Isn't it crazy how fast it's?

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah. I can't believe she's going into first grade. I can't believe Ava graduated. I can't believe she's ready for kidding right now.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Flip-flops. It's not that it's it's it was a lot funnier when I was high leaving your house.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Leaving my house on Friday?

SPEAKER_01 16:18

It was dark. I'm like, oh damn, this is what she deals with every night. It was like uncomfortable and I was by myself. And all of a sudden I kept hearing this noise. And it was like following me, and I was like, Oh, she's looking at these bushes, like it's rattling, shh, shh, making a noise. And I realized it was my flip-flops making the foot. Echoing a little bit. And I thought it was an animal in the bush.

unknown 16:38

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

I'm not gonna lie, I'm sure there's been a time or two where I've left here and got paranoid by no noise. Yes, and by paranoid by noise that I, in fact, was the one making. Right. Because you're already thinking about it. But yes, it is a dark walk, especially with that that's really not working anymore. Creepy house drugs. Oh my god. I shit you not. Oh, here we go again. Okay, so you know, like most mornings I'm out walking at like five, between five and five thirty, I go for a walk because it's so light out. So I'm not like I can see everything out of each other from the distance. I've seen him on the porch. I'm like, this guy, this book club reading on the porch. Is he crying while he's reading too? I can't see that house.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

That one in where the guy hocked a loogie on our episode the other week. That house. Which one?

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Not Black Hole House.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Other house. The other the scary house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Did you see the cart? Have you walked by? Yes. I mean, I walk by them every morning. Oh my god. For years. I've been walking by them. I've spoken to the guy in that house before. That makes a noise. That's been I've heard the whole life story. I've never I've had no whole life story. All of it. Anyway, it creeps me out a little, but I'm not gonna lie. There's a woman that lives in that house. I think she's in her 20s. She looks like what we would have called emo. I don't know what's kicked. What do the kids call that? The kids call it these days? Emo. Is it still emo? Bitch, we're in our 40s. She was doing drugs in the front yard. What kind of drugs? I couldn't tell. The vibe I was catching. Staring at each other, waiting for the answer. The vibe I was catching was like opium. What did she have? Accoutrement. It felt like it. She was definitely packing a bar. Or she didn't. It was she was packing a she was packing some kind of drugs into some kind of paraphernalia. It's accoutrement. And you couldn't figure out what the accoutrement was? Correct. Regardless. How do you know it was drugs if you couldn't see the account? What else are you stuffing? Like that. Tell me. Tell me. And if you see her fucking face.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Why now? Stay on fucking stop. Leave me alone. Oh man. So yeah, there was a plane at 12. Speaking of the plane, 1230. I was so pissed off. I heard it at 12:30. It's fucking plane. Wrong path, dude. Somewhere else. Oh, so oh, so that's what you were gonna tell me. She was doing drugs. Yeah. But you don't know what kind of drugs. No. Perhaps you need to take a magnifying glass with you on your walk. Binoculars, dude.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Binoculars. I was gonna be less subtle with the magnifying glass. I just was like so taken aback. I'm like, girl, fucking 5 30 in the morning. It's fun. Game respect game. Like, I appreciate a good old wake and bake. I'm down. I get that.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

At 5 30 in the morning.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Maybe she was still asleep.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Or maybe she hasn't been asleep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

But I'm curious on the drugs. I know. I was I wanted to be like, what you got in there?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Hey. What you got in there? I like a good morning smooth.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

What are we packing this morning?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Can we do a little wake? Could you imagine if for some fucking reason Mike decided to run by that house during his run and saw you on the porch doing drugs?

SPEAKER_02 19:26

He would take a picture and be like, this is drugs. You have found the line, it's right there. You're on the other side of it. You've crossed over to doing drugs. So Amanda, that brings me to when is it doing drugs?

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Oh, they were talking about this the other day and I can't remember what it was. They said when it's doing drugs. Now I remember. When is it doing drugs? I don't ever think I just FYI. I don't think I have ever presented my or been asked or presented when I think it's drugs. And that's because I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where the line is from.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Is there a time where you feel like you're doing drugs? Nope.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

I think that no matter what it is, it's still having the same, you're getting high effect. Whether it's you're doing something that looks a little different or you're doing something that doesn't, the effect is still getting high. You might be a little higher, but like, you know, so like however it looks, it's still doing the same thing, right? So there's no line for me until you've crossed over to another draw. I guess.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

I think for me it's um 5 30 in the fucking morning, stuffing a bowl of some kind, sitting under a tree.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Time of day could definitely have a have a have a say in that. Yeah. If that would be one thing I could pinpoint.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Yeah, for me, I'm just kidding about that, but for me it's um if I feel the need for it to get through the day.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

So your length of time, quantity of time, length, quantity of length.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Purpose of use. Yeah, but that means you're feeling like right. I mean you're always if I'm feeling like I can't get through the day. You're constantly re-upping. Yeah. If I can't if I feel like I can't get through the day without it, then to me that's I couldn't even tell you how many times last week I actually consumed a version of THC. It's like a bunch of days I didn't do it, I wasn't even thinking about it. If it's there is a time of day I think about it.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

I feel like for me, it's around four or five o'clock, I start thinking about it. Yeah. I've picked up the children, they're home. Yeah, but that's the same as a as a ha as a five o'clock start dinner. So, like, I might as well start getting high before I have to.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

My um my grandmother would always do that. She would get every day, no, every day, five o'clock, come home and have a cocktail. It's the same thing, especially if you're literally just having a drink.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

And it just hits much faster because you really have to really need the edge to be gone. That yeah, feeling and it's instant, usually instantaneous if you're not throwing a coming.

unknown 21:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

I will say I do feel a little bit like I'm doing drugs when there's accoutrement involved. What kind of accoutrement? Even the bowl makes me feel like I'm doing drugs.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Okay, so you got creepy house. You sent me a bunch of them. I don't remember. When husband dies.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Yes, when husband dies.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yes, on this episode of When Husband Dies. Do you know what to do? I thought we weren't supposed to be talking about this.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Why? What do you the only thing I actually know is who to call for our life insurance. I don't know anything. We have I know I know what bank our mortgage is at. Yes, I do. I don't know how to log in and pay it. I yes, I have all the information I need to be able to, but like I don't how to do that. Like, nowhere we have a credit card, but I don't pay those bills, so I don't log in. I've never not once paid a utility bill on this house ever. I don't know, like, I don't know where all our digital photo albums are. We have all of our digital photo albums with all our pictures from the kids since they were born. School pictures, photos from our phones and stuff. Like, that's I don't know how to get to that stuff. We have the rental property. I would have no idea what to do with that. None. What am I gonna do when he dies?

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Yeah, I think I just don't think like that. I think I think I guess I thought it maybe once before, but my mind is the trip.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Lately, I've been thinking about that because we're we're having to do new tenants in the property. And like, man, I would have no idea how to run this house. Like, run the rental property. I can obviously run my house. Oh, I guess that's the okay car payment. I've never logged into our car payment. But but I like I know enough information to be able to get to it, you know what I mean? Like I took haul and be like, uh, my husband's dead again.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Like, but I don't know what I'm gonna do. The other perspective would be like he could think that about you too, in just a different angle.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

Yeah, but my stuff's all, I feel like everything that I own in the house, all like my responsibilities to our household, he could do it, he could do. Could he do it like me? No, but he could do it, he would know what needs to be done.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

All the shit, all the cooking, all the things. Yeah, but what I'm saying is the caring full-time of the children.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Yeah, but that all has uh very clear answers, right? Like there's probably a bill I don't even think about because I don't pay the bills, I don't physically pay the bills. I contribute basically the same amount of money, but I don't pay all the bills. You share an account?

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Yeah, every all your bills come out of that account, yeah. So then you could figure it out through that.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

I guess it would have taken me a long time to even think to do that. You're welcome, right? We have like two different bank accounts and we have a bank account for the rental property, like there's all this a lot of stuff that happens with our money. Then you can sure, I guess I could backtrack it. Yeah, but my point is like he owns all of those things right for us. And we I don't mean to say that I'm like completely blind to it. We talk about our money every week, we have our budget, like we do all that.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

I just don't physically pay things, and like I had to recently to just do it all because I I got so anxious always checking it. And I'm like, I I at first it was a huge relief for me to try to come back the other way where it's always weighed on my mind.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Yeah, but I think my stuff is so much easier to figure out because it's all at the end of the day, obvious things. Like, of course, the house has to be cleaned, right? Dogs have to be fed, children have to be fed.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

You could also go to your bank and have them help you figure it out as like a benefit of not a benefit. Uh oh.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

They're bad.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

How do you even get a warning it's not eight oh nine? I have to pee anyway, so all right, okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Well, at least it's still daylight. You can get some other yes, thank god. All right, it's not like oh, like it's later.