Jesus & Therapy (Davie Doles)

Meet Davie Doles -  wife, mother, and student, she shares her journey of discovering and living the true to herself. Davie is passionate about helping others, spreading joy, and following Jesus. “I believe we all have a story, we all have value, and I seek to lift all voices up in love.”

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:48

I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

And she is a wonderful and card mama with three beautiful children. That's awesome. And uh with a loving heart. This episode is called therapy and Jesus. And it's made that for reasons. And uh do you need to know about something about Jesus? David got a bit. If you want to know about some therapy, Davy got a bit. Uh literally. Man, if we is on what I'm telling you, man, it's so much about David uh uh it's still inspirational and it's still it's it's completely got to hear her story and that's what you want to say because she is going to bring uh information to your mind. And uh she loves music and dance. So Davy, tell them tell them about yourself, man, and uh um if I haven't said too much already, but just go ahead and share something about you.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Yeah, no, um baby dolls, thank you. Always be my baby if you're on Instagram, um, which just be aware of my content's all over the place. Um, but that's really a big definition of who I am. I'm a very uh outgoing, eclectic person. Um I don't really follow any one trend. I love everything and everybody. It's all about cooperation and bringing people together, but um I do. I have three beautiful children, a teenager and two tiny humans. Um well, they're not so tiny anymore. They're seven and nine, which seems wild to think that they grow so quickly. Um I've been married for 14 years, and uh that right there is has been a piece of uh that falls into that Jesus and therapy. Um, I often tell people when they meet me that if it weren't for Jesus and therapy, that I wouldn't be here today. Uh it's uh you're right, I have a really long and a really big story. There's a lot of trials and a lot of tribulations, and even preparing to record with you, I had to think through that of like, what do I really want to talk about? Um, because there's a lot of specifics, but none of the specifics are really that important um because it's still a trial and we all have trials. And that can look different or the same, and we can have many or a few, but it's not about the trial, it's what we do in the trial and what we do after that trial that really defines us. So that has defined me to this moment. It's never been about what I've been through, but who I've been on the other side of it.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Right. I think doing this this uh podcast for me is I'm kind of getting into that mode to where, like, hey, you know, how specific do you really want to be? What you know, how can you um broaden this horizon to be um helpful in every which way? And I think you're a big part of that because um you've been so therapeutic to me in my life more than you know. Um watching you from afar, I know you got hurt uh not too long ago, which breaks my heart. Um, do you want to share about um what happened to you or what's going on at this time?

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Yeah, um well, I'm currently like right now, I am sitting in a recliner chair with a two-piece uh mass of plastic back brace uh that keeps me from bending, lifting, or twisting. Um I I wish it was as simple as like I had been in an accident and my back was messed up from that, but I literally woke up uh one day and had lost most of the feeling in my right leg. This was back in October. And uh fast forward a couple months to December, I finally got in with a with a spine doctor because my pain had increased so much I had to quit working. I couldn't drive anymore because my right foot was not responsive. And I at one point when I was reflecting on all of this, I want to say it was like November, it occurred to me like six months prior, I could climb trees. I was running, I mean, I was a camp counselor, leading worship with kindergarteners for you know five hours every Sunday, jumping, dancing, and and Sean, you know me, I'm I'm all over the place. I'm I don't sit still. So to find myself in this season of like, I can't move without pain. I was lucky if I could get two hours out of a day without crippling pain in my my hips and my back and not understanding how or why. Even now, my doctor is my we still don't know how I got this bad this quickly, um, or really how long it's been going on. So I have a lot of answers still to find, but um, I ended up having a four-level fusion in my lower back. Um, it was a seven-hour surgery, and it's gonna take me nine months to a year. Basically, 2021 is booked out for me. I got I got nothing but healing um on my schedule for the rest of the year. But it's um it's interesting. It's interesting because as shocking as it's been for a lot of people, um, and I'm not gonna say that this has been roses at all. This has been one of the literally the hardest thing I have ever done. I have given birth, and this has been so much harder than that because I'm not good at resting. I'm not good at letting people take care of me. Um, and that's one of those areas of healing that I knew I needed. And it's so interesting how seasons of life can put you into a space, uh, the word trial can put you into a space to grow. But you look at that trial and you go, do I want to grow?

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I can grow. I can choose to say, okay, I have nothing to do but rest. I could sit here and binge watch Netflix all day long. Is that really gonna help me grow? Maybe. Gonna grow my watch list, but is that gonna help me to grow in being okay with letting people help me? Being okay with not being able to get in my car and go hang out with people. I'm an extrovert. I need, I need constant contact from people, and that's just not feasible in this season of life, and not just because of what I'm going through, but because of where we are in the world. It's, you know, we're we're not doing what we used to do just a couple years ago. So I've been put into a season to either focus on myself or be upset that I can't go make a snow angel last week in our snowpocalypse. I'm not upset about that. Um, I got to go outside, I got to make a snowball. I had to pull the snow off my car, but it's it's finding the joy in those moments because the trials are the trials. That's what they are. So this is just another season, and um, I'm really excited to see what happens at the end of this uh because I'm impatient. But it's a slow process, and so I'm trying to take it day by day. I'm trying to remember that there's so much to learn in this. Um, and I don't have to rush it. It's not a race.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Yeah. And that's why you're so inspiring because yeah, I know in you, I mean, you're all over the place. You're like, man, you're a jump for joy everywhere, and you're just kind of like doing your thing, but at the same time, you know, Jesus has this thing where, you know, he's got you in this healing season where you can actually absorb a lot of things during this time. Um and and not only that, but you still be are able to participate in some things, even though you feel like you may be, you know, locked down. But I know you, you're gonna find a way, you're gonna make a way for sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

No, and that's it. You know, it it's um I was talking to my sister yesterday, and we were really talking about how um comparison is the thief of joy. And when you live in a more isolated situation, whether it be, you know, uh precautions for COVID or, you know, with my case of not being able to go anywhere because of my injury, um, because of my healing, you, you know, you spend time, you look at your friends, you see pictures online, you know, you're scrolling through social media and you're like, man, and you start to compare. And that is when you find yourself in that spiral of like, I'm unhappy. Um, but I I I've I've tried really hard, and this has been such a huge piece of my relationship with Jesus is going to Jesus when I start to feel like the world is too much. Um, I used to go to people, and there's nothing wrong with talking to your friends and working through things, but I think a lot of times we can find ourselves in situations where we're in a cycle of like feeling sorry for ourselves or wanting to live in that sorrow and pity. And we want to tell people about, like, oh my God, this sucks so much. Like, this is awful. I can't believe this is happening to me. So I I try really hard now to go to Jesus with those feelings first so I can say, like, this is how I feel, because legit Jesus is the only person who never says the wrong thing, who always shows up and never mishandles my feelings.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yes. Wow, that is crazy. Uh and and that's what we all should do, actually. Um because it's hard. It's hard. Yeah, that's something that that's something that should be in our daily um uh that's we wake up, we speak, and we need to thank God. You know, we need to thank God for just waking up and just saying, you know, living another day. That's that's a beautiful thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Um God is the only alarm clock we can actually count on.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Right. Truth. That is a lot of truth to that. That is that is that ma'am is that He is the eternal alarm clock.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

He is the only reason I wake up.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

And that is truth.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Amen. For a day where my eyes open, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

That is that is truth. I don't know. You know, um that's why you know what that's another reason why it's important to live your life like it's your last day. I know it's like that's uh one of those uh two days that everybody says live like you know it's your last day or whatever. But I I if I think if you live it not only live it as your last day, but live it with purpose. Um there's something about that to where you know you don't feel like you've wasted a lot of time into doing something when you know that you've been actively doing something uh to try to make change. And so Well, and that's I'll go for it. No, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Oh, I was gonna say that's the that's that piece too of of Jesus, of purpose. Um, Jesus gives us purpose and he gives us power. And a lot of that comes from um, and at least for me with my experience, because I didn't come to know Jesus until 2013. Um, and it was a it was a slow crawl, like a slow crawl, where I spent the next two years kind of there, but still feeling like I was afraid to even like tell people I was a Christian because I still didn't even completely understand, but I knew what I felt, I knew what I experienced. Um, but one of the most freeing things, a besides you know, knowing that my story doesn't end here on this earth and this is not my promise, this is not my gift, but that my pain and everything that I've been through suddenly had purpose. It wasn't just a wound, it was a scar that told a story. And that story, that testimony, like just like what you're doing with this podcast, is an opportunity, it's a living testimony, it's the living activities of God, like what we read in our Bible, but here now, and that pain that you have inspires somebody else, or it reminds them that they're not alone, that they're not the only person who's dealt with this. Um that my first experience with that, which was one of the moments that really affirmed my love of Jesus, uh, was I lost a baby in 2010. And that was actually a turning moment when I kind of started like looking for a higher power, looking for knowing that the world had this can't be it, like this can't be it, like to lose a child, this just can't be it. And that story, it used to be so painful, it was so hard. But now I've been able to encourage other mothers who have also lost children. Um, I actually got to speak at a Threads of Love meeting, and Threads of Love is an incredible organization that supports babies and NICUs and parents who lose children uh at a young age. They make beautiful clothes, memory boxes, things like that. But I I have a box of threads of love here, and I never really knew what it was, but I had an opportunity to speak at the Threads of Love meeting at CBC and come to find out that that's the group that actually had made the box that my son's stuff had been placed in that had scripture on it. So had this full circle moment, literally like seven years after this happened, to be able to sit with people. And these are usually older, they're much older, um uh retired. They they so, and even if you have no skill, like you can always go to a threads of love meeting and do something to support. But um they one of them, she came to me, she was 98, and she was like, Thank you so much. She goes, I I've been doing this for a long time, and you you you always wonder, you never know, but you always wonder. And that's a lot about faith, just having faith to know that what you're doing is making an impact without ever really being told. Um, and that was something that God did a lot for me in the beginning of my walk was just affirm over and over again that He is here, He has always been here, even when I didn't know that, to the point that I have beautiful scripture in a box before I was a Christian that had been prayed over because of a tragedy in my life. And it's just so that's that's the huge piece of like, especially with the Jesus in therapy, because I truly believe that both. Um, I know that there's a lot of controversy over mental health and um being a Christian, um, I feel very blessed to know that I'm I'm in a church that supports and advocates for mental health. Um, I believe mental health should be something that we treat as uh like preventative care, like as something that we all need as opposed to emergency care. But um the piece of having Jesus, because again, when we just walk in with with man, with human, there's always going to be error, there's always gonna be fallibility. Not all therapists are great. Um, you can get harmed in therapy. It's it can be difficult to find the right place or the right person. It's expensive, there are a lot of roadblocks. Uh, but when you combine the two, when you have both pieces, uh, at least for me, and I I I've had several other people who have gone through similar experiences, but you find this more holistic approach because we recognize that God has gifted things within this world that can help us. But ultimately, when that affirmation comes, the truth, the real truth about who you are, can be found in in his words.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

So the two together really help you to build not only a strong foundation, but to seek healing and complete and total healing.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Wow. Wow. Yes, that's that's all true. That is true. Now, I know you've done so many things in your life and lifetime. What do you think is the best accomplishment you've made at this point in your life? Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Well, my kids are all alive, so that's a pretty big accomplishment, the three that I have right now. They've they've made it. Uh, I have one that's actually 17. Um, I I had him. And so I guess that's probably you know what? I that's it right there. I I had a baby at 19. Um, and I was in an already abusive situation with um, I have a narcissistic parent. And uh then my son's father uh he struggled with addiction and a lot of things. So there was so much already going on, and I was so broken, so broken. I didn't even realize at that point that I was basically living controlled uh by my parents. I had no idea that that's what was going on. It took me uh probably until I was like 25 before I really realized what was going on. So through all of that, trying to raise my child, um, dealing with the drama of my own family, dealing with the drama of my in-laws being married for a brief time, and then finding myself as a single mother with nothing, um, and going, oh my gosh, like what am I supposed to do here? So my my greatest accomplishment at this at this point in time um really is is my oldest because this the the deck was backed against us. Um and he's an incredible, incredible human being. Like I'm so proud to be his mom, and that despite my shortcomings and my feelings and all the healing that I've had to do, um, it's really hard to parent when you're learning how to even just be an adult. And when you had bad models uh of what it looked like to parent, um you you default, you default to what you know. And I was a yeller and I was a screamer and I was angry and I took a lot of that out on my kids, and and it's taken me years to heal from that. And it takes practice too. So anyone who's listening to this, if you're you know somebody who who yells and you hate that, um, it it is something you you can work on. It doesn't have to be your forever. Uh and if you're a parent who yells and you love that, good for you. Like no judgment ever on parenting. But I knew for me it was really, really triggering because that's all I knew. So even yelling at my kids ended up making me feel so guilty and so shameful. And we all we transfer those things to our kids without even knowing or trying at times. So I really I I'm really proud that my son has been able to come through this uh and and me to come through this and kind of grow up together. We're we're he's about to be a full adult. It's crazy. Um, so I'm really, really proud of that. But I am also only like nine credits short of my degree. And so when that happens, that will be a huge major accomplishment because I have literally been shooting for a college degree like most of my life.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Wow. College degree? And what's your what's your base?

SPEAKER_02 18:51

Uh my uh my bachelor's will be in ministry, and then I'm also doing an associate of uh business studies. Um, I've always kind of figured I'd end up self-employed or wanting to have the knowledge to work for a smaller business. I've always I really believe in small business, a small entity, and uh cooperation with smaller groups across a broader horizon. Um, so I just want to build up my toolbox to be supportive no matter where I end up. Um, ministry has taught me so much about people and the Bible and understanding the Bible on like a really, really deep, real level. Uh and then my business classes, I mean, those are those are always fun. But it's already served me well in helping people and being able to like share my information or share my knowledge and um boost up other people. That's a that's a huge part of who I am. You know, you know that I love I love I'm a cheerleader. I want everyone to succeed, whatever your dream, whatever your passion is, I truly believe that there's enough pie for everyone. And when we work together, when there's cooperation versus competition, we all rise. We all rise.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Yeah, I know. The world is so competitive, but if we all learned how to, you know, share uh the pie, then I think we will be in a better place. Honestly, I just I just uh I I I can I can take that. And I wanna I want to grow my own business too. I I mean I'm into that right now. I just be you know, with this podcast, this is just the beginning of a podcast that that's gonna grow into a brand. I'm hoping and praying that it can grow into a brand of something that could be instrumental uh to mean uh to the world of possible. I want to leave something behind with my context. And that's important because I grew up just like that type of parent. That's you're talking about um being uh I was yelling. So I was that's not parenting.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

It's not, you're just yelling.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

So you're thinking that you're putting the fair guard in someone and and it's uh you're pretty much uh giving yourself a heart attack. But it's uh it's uh yeah, and also definitely learned that, and I'm definitely uh learning that through therapy myself. So that was that was something that I know I need to learn too. And that's why I say I'm not opposed to anyone going to therapy or anyone taking uh uh lessons from someone that can help them to be a better person because that's what it's all about. Uh to be better people, you know, learning from one another, uh and gravitating to one another and and actually connecting um with one another in a real way. And that's absolutely that is so important to me. I know you're like that. Uh you have a heart of a teacher, which is is it's very important, I believe that. Um You know you got some teachers that uh you know they care. They care, but I don't know how much they care now because of how the world has changed so much. But I believe that if you're a teacher and um you continue to learn and grow, um I believe that uh the world could be um even better, even even even uh to to higher heights. You know, you don't know the sky's a limit for that. Man, I know you were talking about your vision, but what are your next steps at this point now?

SPEAKER_02 22:31

So this back stuff, I I mean, I I I really cannot emphasize enough when I say this changed my life overnight. Like I I had to I had to put a pause on school. I was actively in school when this all started. I mean, thinking I uh in in 2019, I was ready to set up 2020 to graduate. And then, you know, 2020 happened. So I was like, okay. Um, and I when I started schooling, when I when I went to school for ministry, um, it was it was one of those moments where every door opened. It was something where I knew this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, because there was literally not a single road bump that prevented me from doing what I needed to do. Um, so when you hit something so big, when you feel like, okay, I'm on the right path that God has for me, and then something like this happens, you're like, uh-oh. Um, okay. So you just have to stop and pause. And I am, again, needing to work on this. I'm not comfortable not having plans. I like to plan, I like to have a list, I like to know where I'm going. And I can't answer that question, Sean. I can't because I don't even know if in three months I'm gonna be my fusion has is gonna be taken enough for me to start physical therapy. My healing is something that we have to I have to go through these long periods of time of like doing nothing and then getting images and seeing if my body is healing the way it's supposed to be healing to allow me to go to whatever the next step is, like being able to walk without a walker. Um, it's so it's super fun being 36 years old and having to walk with a walker. That I also, by the way, is my grand my grandmother's walker. She's 83 and more mobile than me. So I can't, I can't plan. I can't plan. So I don't know. Um, but ultimately, and I think this is a part of what you want. Um, and I think I I've I've always seen this in you. I want to, I like you, I want to leave a mark. I want to, I just want to help people. I want to love people well. I want to show them that they have value, that even if they're in something that they feel like they're bad at, is that maybe their value isn't there. Maybe it is somewhere else. I want to leave a mark. I don't want to be famous. Like, I don't want that. I don't want wealth, I don't want uh, you know, billboards and commercials, I don't want any of that. I just want to be able to reach people and the people that I'm supposed to reach, but I don't even know how to do that because I don't want to be famous. That's why my Instagram and my TikToks are so crazy because I'm just being me. Um, I like you wanting to build a brand, but not even knowing what what is my brand. Like, I I don't know. I I'm again, I'm all over the place.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Well, I know you I know um I know this. Uh you had some uh you do something with mail trains. Um do you do you do that still?

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Well, the um the or did you say a meal train?

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Or yeah, so well that right there, that was something that was set up for me when I with the surgery. I have a a a beautiful friend um who she has really just been so supportive through all of this. So when I was sharing that, it it's actually my meal train. If you want to, you know, bring me food sometime because my poor husband, you know, he's running the house and working overtime because I'm not working. So he's doing everything, and we've had a really wonderful community of people come around us. But um, no, I you know, I've dabble, I've dabbled in so much. And right now I'm gonna be assisting my sister. She's got her own business and um she's got some admin stuff that she needs help with. And I'm I'm fantastic at that stuff. I'm like, let me help you. Uh I don't have anything else to do right now, and I love helping people. Um, like when you called, when you asked me about this, I was like, of course, let's do this. Awesome. Uh even if I sound ridiculous, like I I am so passionate about people. I just I really I really believe that every life has value, that everybody has a purpose. And and if we treated people and looked at them for what they were born and gifted to do is instead of trying to force people into areas that maybe they don't belong, like man, imagine if we worked like that. Imagine if we found jobs or you know, found work based off of what we were naturally gifted and blessed with to do and what kind of world we could build. And I just I I feel like that's possible.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

I got a question for you. Do you think do you think you can see potential in people? And you're like, hey, I see a lot of potential in that person, and you have do you have the gift to to show like to actually give them a vision of where you see their life being individually? Like back in the day they used to call it prophetic. But I don't know if they still call it that anymore, but they they they kind of prophesy uh and speak a person's into existence of what they believe. Have you have you heard of that before?

SPEAKER_02 27:36

Yeah, no, I am I actually am super um super fascinated because that's one of those, like the gift of prophecy. I I do truly believe that that exists, but I I feel like it's almost turned into something we're afraid of, um, especially because it it works into that kind of supernatural spiritual thing where I I'm always I it's always one of those things I've never understood about Christianity of how we believe in a in a God, a supernatural God, heaven, a hell, all of this stuff. But then there are other things that don't fall into the Christian category that we're like, ooh, that's too supernatural. I'm like, uh, I don't know about that. And so I I think that's just something that we've we've lost. I do believe that there are prophetic people. Um honestly, like I have told people, and I I'll say this now because uh if anybody gets a prophetic word, like you so if if you hear something about me and you're being told to tell me, and you even if you don't know me, please, please speak into my life. Uh God talks to me all the time through other people. So if you got a word for me, don't ever, don't ever hesitate to DM me. I want to know. Um, especially if you're being told, man, I I'm I'm open to that. But that's something like if you had a random stranger walk up to you and be like, God told me this, that that might freak you out a little bit, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

So prophecy is something that we're not comfortable with as a society, really, because even I feel like in the Christian community, we we feel like prophecy works for us when we believe in it. But if somebody walked up to you and told you something you didn't want to hear and they said this is a word from God, you might be less likely to hear that. Um I have had moments and I have had things happen that where I've I've known I've had an intuition about it. I do believe that there is a gifting in me for that. I just don't really know what it is. And God and I have been working through that over a few years because there have been, like I said, there have been some times where I've had a really deep intuition about something and I've been able to confirm it on the back end and know that before the information was out, I already knew something was up there. And that's been happening to me since I was little. Um I for a I've had I've had a lot of this for a long time. And that was one of the things with my with my faith. Um, I think a lot of people go through this when they find Jesus, where they get frustrated and they're like, Why didn't I, why didn't I do this sooner? Why didn't I come to Christ sooner? I I made all these mistakes in my life, why didn't I do this? And I absolutely went through that where I was so frustrated with myself. Uh and about that time, it was it was wild. This is one of those moments where I'm like, I don't care if you don't believe in God, this is why I believe in God. I started to get memories that were gone. Like I had completely forgotten about these things from when I was younger. Moments where I was actively seeking God, moments where God was in my life, like where I'm telling you, Sean, these were gone from my memory. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I I had totally forgotten about that. And it was this affirmation in that moment of you have been seeking me, and I have always been there. The circumstances of my life, the adults in my life, and the Christians in my life mishandled me. Um, and again, that's a story many of us have. We have been hurt in our own faith. We have been invalidated and unheard and unseen, and that's a a a large hurdle for a lot of people to want to trust in Jesus, is religion and it puts up walls and it blocks people and it makes them feel like I'm maybe I'm not enough. And or it makes you feel guilty for not coming to it sooner when the reality is that he's always been at that door, he's been knocking. You have to open it. Yeah, and that was that was an affirm, a total affirming moment. And I tell people this all the time like, I I will share my testimony, I will tell you why I believe in Jesus, but I will not stand here and try to force you to believe what I believe because of my experiences. It took me having a personal experience with Jesus before I was like, okay, yeah, wow. And I'd had I'd been over the years, many times I've had people ask me if I wanted to give my life or if I wanted to go to church. And sometimes I was open to it, sometimes I wasn't. Um, but ultimately I've always known that there was some I I have always believed there was something bigger. I was like, this world just it can't be happened by a mistake. Like there's too much, too much going on here.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Right. And I'm glad that you have that gift. Um, there's something about you, and if in and I've been knowing this for a while, is that that you have this gift to bring out uh certain feelings and certain things out of others that they didn't even know that they have to do that. It's more like some people believe and some people don't, but then when you have um part time of trying to trust again or trying to get back into the faith and you need to talk to your close friends or close family members that are in the faith that may have um you know straight away sometimes that affirming word uh from someone that you know that's been practiced uh for years. And I believe that you're the person. You're the person that you're the person that you don't even realize. That's you do this on an everyday basis. It's being you're gonna do it. It's being you who you are and who you love and what you love and how you do it. Um speak actions and speak. Um, because um, even for me, it's uh people are watching it, you know, regardless. I think it's they always see um, you know, they say some good things, they say some bad things, some things they may not even agree with, but you always have to be you. That's why you are who you are. You're always gonna be Davey.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

And uh Well, and I I spent way too long not trying to be Davy. And that's another thing with between Jesus and therapy was truly finding out who I was. I I was convinced, um, again, as a teen mom, like I just got into the I I've been working since I was like 15. And so I got into the working world and I'm like, okay, all I gotta do is get to a job where I wear a business suit, right? Like that's the goal. To be successful, you have a job that where you wear suit. And I looked stupid in a suit. I hate suits, but I worked so hard. I I worked for several different companies where I literally started at the bottom and like worked my way up as high as I could go and was miserable because I was trying to be somebody I wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

And when I found Christ, and then it was really when I started serving. Uh, you know, you know me again, Shambi. You watched me pop around from one ministry to another and served. And I always had fun. Like I always loved what I did, but I quickly realized it's that's not the defining characteristic for me as to far as like what I'm really good at doing or where I belong. Um, like working, uh helping out in tech art, love running a camera, but I don't sit still, which isn't a really great characteristic for somebody who's working a camera. Pretty sure that's why they never put me on camera one. But when I switched, uh when I ended up in kids' ministry, when I ended up leading worship, and what was so cool about that is I have I love worship music. I love to lead. And I'm not a great singer, I'm not a bad singer. I can carry a tune, I can um, I love to be a part of that. But I was so scared uh to even ask to be like, I want to help out in worship. And they're just happening, it was the the the kids' ministry director at the time had put out a Facebook post like looking for someone to you know volunteer, and actually had been told, like, you're not gonna find somebody to do this as a volunteer position. Like you you're gonna have to pay somebody. And so this post, you know, where you open up Facebook and it's like the first post you see, and I was like, hey, tell me more about this. So I ended up kind of I ended up just going over on a Sunday and like watching it, and then the next Sunday, like I was there, and the first time that I was able to like be on stage with these kids and teach them about Jesus with music and dance and just see their pure worship, and I realized I didn't have to change anything about me. In the working world, I'm often told I talk too much, uh, you know, that I don't sit down enough, I'm got too much energy. I'm too much. I can't tell you how many times I've been told I'm too much. And that's really discouraging. So when you walk into a space with kindergartners, you're never too much if you have that kind of energy. They want that kind of energy. And that was, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm home. Like this is where this is what I was built to do is to work with these kids in this, in this area, in this atmosphere where my energy and um that turned into me then, you know, working in middle school and high school ministry too. Um, I have a heart for kids of all ages because growing up and going through the kind of turmoil that I went through, there were many adults in my life who I feel like could have, probably should have stepped in. And it's one of my goals, again, with the helping people is I want to make sure that kids have like I can be a safe space for them because sometimes home isn't safe. And they need an adult that is there to continue to affirm them and love them and build them up and maybe even help them when they're in a dangerous situation, you know, just to be that good Samaritan, to get them to the professional, to get their family whatever help that they need. Um, but ultimately to know that there is a grown-up in their corner who is building them up and not tearing them down, whether they realize it or not. And that's uh that's why I jump around between with kids and student ministry, because all of those ages and stages have very important uh spaces to be in, um, to love on them well. We I I truly believe we have a duty as adults, whenever there are kids within our um our our reach and our circle of influence, that we really need to work harder to be building kids up and showing them that despite what the trials and tribulations of this world will throw at them, that they are capable, that they are more, that they can rise above, that they can make their own history, that their family life does not define their future.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

And that is the bottom line. Baby, thank you. Thank you again for being on the Make History podcast. And man, it's so lovely. Lovely.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

It's been a pleasure. It's been a pleasure. You know, I love I love I love chatting with you.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

But we can't go out without a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a I got my arm, I got my arm dancing, arm dancing.