Your Sins Are Exactly That; YOURS!

Reposted episode from 2023...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

One last thing. I want to um ask you to please forgive little Stormy. Stormy was sleepy. He's my daughter's little cat. Stormy was trying to go to sleep. And he was meowing all throughout the thing. He's this little baby. Stay blessed, guys, in Jesus' name. You know? Um, I had a troubled childhood, okay? There were some issues that my mother and her mom, they had some problems there. As a child, I my mom had a nervous breakdown when I was I was in around the fifth or the sixth grade. And she received some news over the phone. Her mother called her and gave her some news that wasn't very good. Anyhow, she had a nervous breakdown. And it was very challenging my childhood was because throughout those years, from the time I was in around the fifth grade, fifth or sixth grade, clear up until oh my gosh, my young adult years, um, she experienced a lot of lashing out. She did a lot of lashing out at her mom um because of some things that had occurred. And what she was basically seeking was like a public apology. And she didn't get a public apology, but thank God before both of those women passed away, um they were able to mend their relationship and it was meaningful, you know, at the end. But in between there, it was troubling. I want to start out by telling you something very private that occurred at one time because my mom and her mother, they would have, oh my gosh, it would just be always going at it. And then there would be moments where they were getting along well, and then oh, mother diss, mother that, you know, that's what they call their mom. And you know, she had some things that she had to say because um the mother did. Um, my mother was very disrespectful towards her, and you know, people do like to whenever your children are lashing out at you and just doing things that are out of sorts. Um, people real will um quote that commandment about honor thy mother and father, and that was thrown at her all the time. Um, she was always viewed as very disobedient, and one thing they would say is you know, she wasn't gonna have a very long life. Um, people shouldn't speak things like that over people. She was disrespectful with things that she said to her, and I'm not trying to soften it or anything like that. You know, in spite of, you know, everyone knows that part of the passage where it tells you to honor thy father and mother. You know, during her struggle, she lost her mind. No one ever thought to remind the mother. Do not cause your child or children to wrath. You can say and do some things that will cause them to carry on like plum idiots. And in her case, you can cause someone to lose their mind. Okay. Well, I want to start by saying, um, there wasn't a time here, a couple years ago, I went to visit my father before he passed away. And it was right not long after I had surgery, and I just felt this urgency to go visit with him, to go see him, and I'm glad I did. I went twice. And during that time, I was able to go visit a family member, and she asked me a question, and she's like, Why did your mother treat my daughter my excuse me, my sister the way she did? Why did she say things to my sister like that? And I said to her, Don't you know that hurting people hurt other people? She was wrong for saying the things that she said to her sister. However, it's as if, you know, they didn't realize what her grandmother had said about her, my mother, her father, and she only had one child, me. You know, she was um accused of having a child with her father. She only had one child, and that's me. And that made her lose her mind. She literally lost her mind. And that's all she talked about. I want to tell you there were instances where she, oh gosh, she would just carry on so bad with her mom. I remember one instance where because he lived next door to a church, and her mother was in the church, they were praising and worshiping God. And I didn't, I would never have even had a clue that my mother was gonna go inside that church and do what she did. She went in the church, and see, my grandmother sat in the section for the mothers. They had different sections, the mothers, the deacons, and whatnot. And she went in there where her mother was. I don't know how they even let her get that close because they had ushers and everything in there. Well, she went in there, and do you know she snatched the wig off of her head? Right there in front of all the people. Isn't that funny? And my grandmother had long hair, honey. She did long fit braids. She had her hair up in a stocking cap. It's not the kind like when you know, you snatch a wig off, and how you might visualize them little nebby picky sprigs on some head. She had some hair on her head, but she had it pent up. She used to have it with bobby pins where it would be pent up, but she had her stocking cap on. And then she left out of the church. And she felt proud of herself. That was like an awe moment. I was embarrassed for her, okay? So, needless to say, my grandma didn't leave. She put her wig right back on her head and continued to praise God and having a good time. Because you know who the church probably thought that was that did that, okay? And there was a time also where I just remember one time she just totally destroyed my grandmother's bedroom. She pulled the dressers out of the thing and dumped every single piece of clothing out on the floor, pulled all her clothing off the clothesline. I mean, just had a mess in the house. Pulled the phone. At this time, the landlines were the number one phone. She snatched the phones out of the wall. They had to come through and redo the phone. Anyhow, it was traumatic. She was acting out in a way that was not appropriate. And what she was seeking was the fact that what was said about her and her father, that it was a lie. So, what my mother did is she accused the cousin, the family member, her sister, of having a relationship with her husband. Even though it was the child that was being hurt, she wanted to hurt her mother. Okay? Now, now that I've put that out there, and I'm pretty sure they're upset about it, but this is something that someone needs to hear so that they can break free from the holds, the chains that the enemy has them bound by. With my mother doing all of that, those behaviors, and the reason that she thought that she was in the right for behaving like that, because someone said something about her that was not favorable, does that mean because my mom hurt her sister, her feelings? And I'm pretty sure it hurt her really bad. I'm not responsible for what she did. There is healing through Jesus, and he will set her free as well as her sister free. But I'm here to let him know you're not gonna be bugging on me over something that my mother did, and I'm not happy over what she did, and I'm not happy over what was done to her. No, I am not, nor am I making any excuses. But I want to read you something that God clearly said to me. Deuteronomy chapter 24, he said right there in verse 16, Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children for their fathers. Only for his own guilt shall a man be put to death. All that mess that went on when they were small, and I was small, but my mother and her mother were going through some troubled times. Since these two women are long no longer walking the earth, I'm not gonna be the one that they're able to get any kind of satisfaction over. Okay, she's here, and let me tell you, I ain't gonna even waste my time going to visit any of them, and I'm pretty sure they don't want me to either. But I want to let you know I still love them. Because one thing about me is when they see me, especially with me having the weight on, they think that I look like my mother. And I can see it too. There's similarities. Even down to there's a tooth, it looks like there's a tooth missing out of my mouth. She had that gap on the same exact spot. The only thing that separates us where you can tell us apart is her skin was lighter than mine. I'm a dark-skinned woman. Okay, that's how. And people that didn't like her, if they were to see me and they have seen me, you can tell they just like they saw a ghost. And I'm like, no, I'm her daughter. But don't be throwing that over here at me. I'd be trying to be mean mugging me, honey, because I don't even know who you are. And I let them know in a heartbeat, I go to my God. He got a son named Jesus, and he fights my battles for me, and they straighten it up real quick. Yes, I do. Let me also turn to Ezekiel 18, verse 20, because it also tells us about this. Because people will bind you down with what somebody else is on. They digging going on, and you back here, you got to deal with them demons that's been left behind. In case you didn't know, these demons have gotten worse. Okay, Ezekiel 18, verse 20. Listen to what it has to say. That's not the one there. Yeah, verse uh chapter 18, verse 20, it says, I will spread. No, that's 17. Sorry about that. Now you know I know better than this. Listen, Ezekiel 18, verse 20. It says, Only the one who sins shall die. The son shall not be charged with the guilt of his father, nor shall the father be charged charged with the guilt of his son. The virtuous man's virtue shall be his own, as the wicked man's wickedness shall be his own. So remember, if you didn't get closure from some past pain and hurt that people have put on you, I kid you not. I am a witness. Jesus will heal you. God will. You know, Jesus said if you ask, and you ask in his name, same as Jesus. You know, I used to think Christ was his last name. He is the Christ, but Jesus is his name, and if you ask his father for healing, he will set you free. There were times when I was growing up, it was so toxic, you know. Um, that relationship between my mother and her mother, with my grandma. I remember the thing that was upsetting to my mom was the fact of who told her what he witnessed. And I asked God to forgive me, but this is how my mom used to describe this man as the dumbest man in Gifford, Florida, that her mother would believe that he saw her in the window laying with her father. And she impregnated, she got pregnant by her dad. Now she ain't got nothing but one child, and that's me. Let me tell you. Um, one of my aunts passed away, and one of my mother's sisters, and I really love this lady, I do. I I thought she was a beautiful, spirited woman, but you know, I I just could not bring myself to go back into that environment because even though that was a traumatic time, the passing of their mom, I put myself first. I did not want to go through all that again. I did not. I'm experiencing my own challenges, but I do not want to go back through that, being looked down at whenever they come through. The family sits on one side, the friends on the other side, and here comes Winifer calling me, they haven't called me Dixie in years. Winifer's here. Aquila's daughter. Like, what is she doing here? I ain't even wasted. You know, I I was a little mean, I was harsh. The one who had asked me um why did my mother treat her sister like that? Because she had to hear her sister cry herself to sleep. As old as she is, she should know that I didn't have any part of that. That hurt me for her to ask me that question. Because I wasn't the one that was doing that to her sister. And I understood, but I kid you not, I wasn't gonna apologize for someone else's behavior. And I'm not gonna carry the cross that someone has already come to this world and they are gone. They came and they did what they were supposed to do. And the one thing that is troubling is there's someone that did not receive closure that needs healing from the pain that was put on them during this ordeal. I've seen times where my grandmother and my mom, my grandmother gave my mom some clothes. She had bought her some things. I think she was doing it because she wanted to, you know, an outward expression of, you know, I care about you. And she wore this one dressed for her and she liked the way it looked on her. My grandma liked to look at it like full-figured women to her with the big legs and everything. She just thought that was just so nice, you know, for to see someone healthy like that. Anyhow, I remember she wore the dress so that she could see her with the dress on, and she just smiled. That was so beautiful for her to see her daughter with that dress on. And I kid you not, not two weeks later, she had done took the dress and everything else that her mother had gave her and threw it out in the yard right there on the ground. And you know, my grand great-grandmother would sit there on that little stoop and she would never say anything. She would just sit there and look. Never said anything wrong, never even said anything for her daughter. She didn't say anything against her granddaughter. But while she did live, I'm talking my grandmother's mother. My mother tell her, told her what happened, and her mom just sit there and her grandma just listened to what she said. And tried to comfort, you know, letting her know everything was gonna be okay. And she went on about her business. But I I wasn't going to allow someone to put that pain on me because that wasn't for me to carry. And I want to just suggest something because there are other people that are battling things that people have done to them, whether they have been bullied, have been harassed, oh my gosh. You know, I had my house vandalized, not once but twice, carried on so bad I just left. Like, I do not need to deal with this. You have to make a choice, and these people if you were to be dealing with an issue where someone is no longer living, you can ask Christ to come in. I've had it where this is what I've done before. I have literally set two chairs. A chair in front of me, and I have asked the Lord to come into the room, and I have talked to this person and told them how they treated me, how they made me feel, even told them how much I love them. That's so that you can be healed and the pain can go away because it's not okay for you to put pain on another person. It's not, you can't do that. Now, I want to turn over here to Ezekiel 15, verse seven and eight, because I need you to understand the importance of not putting your pain and your hurt on someone else. I'm serious. And it says, I will set my face against them. They have escaped from the fire, but the fire shall devour them. Thus you shall know that I am the Lord. When my turn when I turn my face against them, I will make the land a waste. Because they have broken faith, says the Lord God. Be careful how you treat others. God is watching, He's listening, all of that good stuff. No one's going to get by with anything. They are not. So it's important that you understand that. You're not going to transfer some negative energy to someone that hasn't done anything to you, even if they have. You know what you do? You ask God to change them. And you it's okay to not even have them around you. Being someone that has forgiven someone does not mean that you have to have those people right in your immediate social circle. For what? Some of them don't even listen to the Holy Spirit, and there's no evidence of any change. You don't want that toxicity all over inside of you. No, you don't. You do not. And not wanting to be bombarded with someone else's emotional disturbance from a past trauma that you may have caused them in some kind of way that they think you are responsible because your mother or your father, your son, or your daughter has done something to them. I'm like, that's not cool. Not okay. Alright, so let's just remember. I am not responsible for my mother or father's sins. I am not responsible for my children's sins. My mother and father are not responsible for my sins. My children are not responsible for my sins. How do I know that? It's in my Bible. It tells me so. Right there, Deuteronomy chapter twenty four, verse six, says Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, and children, nor children for their fathers, only for their own guilt shall a man be put to death. So don't go bothering people because of that. You know, um during a time of need, I told you I didn't even go to their service, the going away service. I don't want to be bothered like that. You want me to come to that so that you can beat down on me, beat down on my children, sneak diss me, say something slick to me? No, I stayed home. Cause I let them know. Listen, do you know who you're contacting? I'm the child that was referred to as the incest child. Is that true or false? Okay. I've heard plenty of them say, no, no, no, that didn't happen. I can tell you, yes, the man that said that he was your father, that is your father. But there are some that don't believe that. And that's okay with me. But I just will not be the person that someone reflects their pain on. That's dramatic. All right, now stay blessed in peace. I love you, and so does Jesus.