That Guy's Stalking Your Dad!

Bert's geriatric psychiatrist tells Brooke that Mark is a sociopath, and she's in for a long fight. Days later, a notary calls out of the blue. Mark brought Bert into her office to change his will and revoke Brooke's Power of Attorney. The professional refused, then broke confidentiality to warn Brooke. The family's lawyer agrees: this is textbook undue influence, and the alarm bells are deafening. Featured experts: Charlotte Salomon on why a wellness check by police is a legitimate option when a senior is being cut off from their family, and Nathan Spaling of the Capacity Clinic on why confidentiality is a double-edged sword that can shield the very people it was meant to protect against.

Beware Mysterious Mark is a Radio Sidney production. This project is funded in part by the Government of Canada's New Horizons for Seniors Program.

Show notes, episode transcripts and resources: mark.radiosidney.ca

Contact: info@radiosidney.ca

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:01

Welcome to Beware Mysterious Mark. This ten part series is a harrowing, true account of elder financial abuse. Some of what you'll hear may be unsettling. That's intentional. Because this can happen to anyone, your parent, your partner, your friend. Our goal is to expose how these schemes work, reveal the warning signs, and help you stop it before it happens to someone you love. So listen closely. Awareness is your first line of defense. In episode two of Beware Mysterious Mark, Mark attempted to change Bert's will, power of attorney, and family home ownership, all for his benefit. And now here is episode three titled That Guy Stalking Your Dad. Here again is our storyteller Nancy Miles.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Amazingly, after the tension of their recent argument and Bert's reluctance to forgive Daughter Brooke, the pair seemed to get back to an even keel, and Brooke again would drop by for morning coffee. Mark would call at ten on the dot. Brooke would answer. Mark would tell her some over the top claim about how much fun and freedom her dad finally had with them, now that Diane was gone. Brooke didn't know what to believe until one day her dad had visited Mark's boat, very excited. She checked in with him later. I listened while recording. Surprisingly, Bert was already in bed.

SPEAKER_08 1:34

Oh God, it was awful. Walked to the boats too long, hard to get on there. It's so high. And the boat, the boat's a hell of a mess, Brook. The otters got into it over the winter, tore it up. Does it stink? And Mark's got all kinds of homemade gizmos, none of 'em working. God knows if anything will ever work. And we just sat both dead in the water. Pile of junk really. I'm fed up. Never going again.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

We learned from the marina that Mark's vessel was infamous, in disrepair for years, and to boot, Marks never paid any mooring fees. The next morning, Brooke answered the phone because her dad wouldn't budge, still fed up.

SPEAKER_09 2:29

Oh, is that Brooke?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Hi, Mark.

unknown 2:34

Oh, did you tell us about all the fun we had yesterday on the boat?

SPEAKER_09 2:38

Beautiful day. He told us so many great stories. We have so much in common. We spent the day talking and laughing.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

So why Brooke didn't confront Mark or tell her dad he was lying? We had already spoken to the provincial senior abuse information line for advice. They said, Do not challenge your dad or his abuser. Doing so will just make them closer. They were adamant, called it the Romeo and Juliet syndrome. Brooke didn't like this approach, but we learned how Mark took a disastrous afternoon and turned it into a great experience. Brooke and I call May 2019 the month from hell. So many events happened. Way too much to relate, but I'd like to give you more of a taste, however, because it was just full on mark. Now, keeping in mind what we've already learned, here's a quickie timeline of some other incidents. Near the end of April, Bert didn't remember that Brooke had put his name on the deed to Poplar Hill. May first, Bert's asking to buy out Brook's half share and have Mark and Donna move in. May sixth, Mark takes Bert downtown to check the names on the deed to Poplar Hill. Who does that? May eighth, Mark asks to meet us under false pretenses. May ninth, we have our visit from hell with him. May fifteenth, Mark removed Bert's answering machine, switched his internet carrier and phone, and left his own voice and name as the greeting. Bert was unable to use the voicemails, so didn't receive Brooke's messages. Plus Mark had changed the password, so we could no longer access or maintain her dad's account. May twenty first, Mark takes Bert to lawyer John. May twenty third, Bert repeats to his weekly next door drinks buddies that he doesn't like me or my family, and he's going to make Donna his POA. Big argument ensues as the guys hammer him back. Same day, Mark tells neighbor Anne that Brooks an elder abuser. Cherry on top. Janice, a concerned family friend, phoned us that afternoon.

SPEAKER_06 5:22

Brooke went over to visit your dad this morning. Found a freaking weirdo named Mark sleeping in the front seat of your dad's car in his garage. Who the heck is this creep? Friend. He claimed he was your dad's circuit seat. And he called Poplar Hill his second home. What's that about? Look, I'm really worried. Saw him when I first arrived riding down your street. Really think that guy's stalking your dad? He's trouble brook.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Bert's geriatric assessment, ordered by our GP Dr. Koupar, began in mid-May of 2019. After seeing the occupational therapist, Bert happily shared his score on the cognition test with his Sherry friends and with Brooke and me.

SPEAKER_08 6:14

I got 21 out of 29. The lady told me that's as good as an 80-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

But this seemed pretty decent since Bert was 95, and people with significant cognitive issues score in the low teens. The social worker Jason then met with Brooke and her dad individually. Brooke explained the knife's edge issue and how her dad fears Mark may lose his affordable rental. Then since she knew Bert's score, she was able to learn more.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

So what does twenty-one out of twenty-nine mean?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Well it wasn't a bad score for a man his age, but it it does suggest mild cognitive impairment. Okay. I want you to know, Brooke, your dad loves you. Lately, that hasn't felt like it. We used to be so close. I want you to understand that you're not the author of your dad's decisions. But he's begun to feel vulnerable living alone.

SPEAKER_03 7:13

Oh, well, he's all over the place. You've heard of his new friend Mark?

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Yes, I'm aware.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

He never stops talking about Mark. But one minute he admires him, the next he's putting him down. But I don't know what he really wants.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

I think your dad's conflicted about a lot of things, Brooke. He's going through a difficult time.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Right. Okay. Well what can I do?

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Just be there.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

Listen.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Be supportive.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

I'm trying. But have to admit it's hard with Mark. Things are really strange.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Just two weeks ago, Dad offered to buy me out of the family home. Apparently Mark and Donna want to live there and look after him. But Mark won't do this without a ten year rent-free guarantee. I can't square this in my head. Mark's telling Dad he's afraid he's going to get kicked out. Yet he won't move in without this ridiculous ask. What?

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Ten years? Rent free? Well, let's just say at the very least I'd call that opportunistic. But I have noticed Mark has no respect for personal boundaries.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Oh, you got that right. Never met anyone so intrusive, so pushy.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

You're in a difficult position, no doubt. But don't despair, your dad cares for you.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

A few weeks later, Bert went to see the geriatric psychiatrist. Brooke was invited. Later told me all about it. Dr. Owen was warm and gentlemen, instantly putting Bert and Brooke at ease. There wasn't any overt testing. Instead, it was a two-hour conversation centered around her dad's new friends and how he was feeling after his wife's death. Brooke remained quiet, unless Dr. Owen asked her a question, but she learned a lot. She confessed to me that a few of her dad's answers were eye openers. For example, when asked how well he was sleeping, Bert said, I'm up every night worrying about my POA, and I used to sleep through the night all the time, all the time. A surprise because her dad had been waking up and having a snack around 2 AM for nearly 20 years, not bothered by anything, just had the munchies. There were a number of other comments that struck Brooke. For instance, while Dr. Owen asked her something, her dad blurted, Brooke has Nancy.

SPEAKER_08 9:52

Why shouldn't I have someone?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

That really blew Brooke away. Her mother had only been dead seven months, and later her dad suddenly stood up shouting, arms thrust up in the air. Bert's outburst only lasted five to ten seconds, but this behavior was a first for Brooke.

unknown 10:16

Dr.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Owen spent a lot of time explaining how grief would be a huge factor for her father. His level of stress was very high, creating insecurity. Dr. Owen wound up the meeting, suggesting that Bert not make any changes to his POA or will for at least a year. Brooke asked Dr. Owen for five minutes alone to get a better understanding of her dad's situation. Dr. Owen began.

SPEAKER_11 10:48

Well, Brooke, although your father had some definite memory issues and is still grieving for your mother, he is capable of making his own decisions.

SPEAKER_03 10:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 11:00

But why is Dad so angry at me? I know this must be very difficult for you, Brooke, but it's because you are the closest one to him.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

A lot of Dad's issues seem to be coming from Mark.

SPEAKER_11 11:12

That may be, but don't challenge your father about Mark. It won't work and it will make any cooperative options disappear. Instead, I suggest you try and get your father to be open with you because he's being so secretive.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Okay, I'll try that.

SPEAKER_11 11:30

Mark is a sociopath, Brooke. I'm afraid you and your partner are in for a long and weary road.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Boy, was she right. In mid-June, Brooke and Bert had one of their lengthy, bewildering conversations while sitting near the ocean.

SPEAKER_08 11:51

I knew Mum left everything to you, but I didn't realize it was the house as well.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

But Dad, you must have known the house was in our names when we bought it in 1996. You and Mum agreed.

SPEAKER_08 12:04

I was convinced half the house was mine. Well, I wasn't convinced. I just took it for granted.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

But in January I put your name on the deed, the same way Mum's and my names were on it. So you own half the house in joint ownership.

SPEAKER_08 12:21

I don't like joint ownership. Can't you understand? I don't own half. I can't leave it to anyone. Not Mark. Not Donna. But I'm not ready to buy you out. I want to wait and see. Mark expects the book he's just finished to have a big payoff, so we'll see how it goes. I might help him out if nothing comes of him.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

This was the first time Bert revealed to Brooke that he was thinking about leaving Poplar Hill to Mark and Donna once he purchased Brooke's half. Brooke was profoundly hurt, but she had always believed her dad's assets were his to command. There was one occasion where the issue of confidentiality actually worked to our advantage. An afternoon late in June, we received a phone call that was a slap upside the head. A local notary named Noreen Jones was on the line.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

Oh, was that Mark?

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah, Mark Marshall. They were trying to change your dad's will and take away your power of attorney. I met with your dad for a few minutes.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Oh, there were a lot of red flags.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

Are you thinking undue influence?

SPEAKER_00 14:33

One hundred percent. I'd be willing to bet he's done this before. You need help, Brooke. I think you should go straight to the police and to your dad's bank.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Brooke and I were stunned that a complete stranger, a professional, phoned to tell us that someone not only made inquiries about changing Bert's power of attorney, but had actually brought Bert in to do just that. This rocked our world. Brooke is Bert's only child and his POA for heaven's sake. And Mark was trying to change this behind her back. Suddenly we were in the midst of a five alarm fire. Brooke and I immediately went to her dad's bank, learned that as his POA, she could monitor his accounts and see the balances anytime. But the bank would not limit withdrawals on Bert's accounts without medical authority. When we went to the police, the RCMP officer we talked to was sympathetic, but couldn't do much. He took our information, created a file, but until Mark committed a fraud or physically abused or neglected Brook's dad, there's no crime. He agreed Mark's behavior was sleazy and that it stinks, but it wasn't in the criminal code. He suggested we ask the bank for withdrawal limits and refused to check Mark's background. The next day, our lawyer John Spencer called. He had just compared notes with the notary Noreen Jones. They both had the same visceral reaction and concerns about Mark's obvious undue influence over Brooke's dad and his financial affairs. John encouraged Brooke to seek help from the public guardian and trustee, commonly known as the PGT. We'd never heard of it, so quickly Googled, discovered that the PGT is a provincial body with a range of services, including protecting the legal, financial, and healthcare interests of adults who need help with decision making. So Brooke called them, spoke to a rep as I listened in. It was a very short conversation. Once Brooke told him she was her dad's power of attorney, the PGT rep felt Bert's situation was relatively safe and chose not to engage. Three other significant events happened late that summer. First, Bert mentioned to Brooke he'd seen a lovely 30-foot airstream recreational vehicle, wanted her to see it. So there they are, father and daughter trying to move about in a tight space. As they try, unsuccessfully, to get their knees under the kitchen table, Bert claims he could live there. Brooke's thinking, but why? Fortunately, Bert soured instantly on this investment when he learned how much the RV had already depreciated in value. A few weeks later, Bert showed Brooke a brochure for a kit home. A twelve hundred square foot craftsman, really nice looking rancher. Bert says Mark could build it on the Poplar Hill lot as a guest house for one hundred thousand dollars, as if it would cost more like four hundred, and for whom wasn't really clear. And the last event was a short three paragraph letter to doctor Coupar that Brooke happened to find at her dad's. She took a quick pick. The undated letter was typewritten, so not prepared by Bert. Its contents very worrying. The letter read doctor Coupar, two things. One, I need my prescriptions renewed. Two, would you kindly provide a letter to whom it may concern for me to show that in your professional opinion I have the capacity to handle my affairs? The third paragraph explodes the illusion that Bert was the author. It read If she asks why, simply say you wish to make changes to your will and might need the letter for a lawyer. So tell me whose grasping fingers do you hear on the computer keyboard? Oh, and I bet you won't be surprised when I reveal that those fingies will be tap tap tapping again. No matter really, as Bert's competence assessment was now complete. Dr. Owen had officially declared him capable of making his own financial decisions. Jason, the social worker, called Brooke in August of 2019 to let her know that he had informed her dad of Dr. Owen's decision. Bert told Jason that he was overgrieving Diane. He was leaving Vicky his TFSA. Mark and Donna weren't moving in, and his buyout offer was now off the table. Good old Vicky was Johnny on the Poplar Hill spot in mid-November when she discovered a key element to Mark's strategy. That mid-morning Vicky flew in our front door, breathless and agitated.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

Oh my God. Oh my God, Brooke, you're not gonna believe this. Look what I found, swear to God, you won't believe it. Those other scumbags. Come in, come in, sit down, catch your breath. You're gonna be so pleased with me, darling. I found I found a letter to your father. A letter, four pages, open on the table by his chair. You know his little table? Yeah. And there is an envelope beside it with Dear Albert written on it. Hand delivered. It's from Mark and Donna. Got out my phone, managed to take some pictures. Oh dear. I was shaken so much, sure they can't Oh no, the phone. It should be fine. Here, here, let me pick it up. Oh dear Lord, the p I hope the pictures turned out. Okay, okay, let's see. Start here. You gotta scroll. It's four pages. I took a picture of each page. Okay, let's see. Yeah. You got 'em all.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

You're not gonna believe what they've written. Okay, Mark Marshall. Let's see what's so important that you had to write dad a four-page letter.

SPEAKER_10 21:16

Dear Albert, our first meetings so long ago has over time blossomed into a wonderfully warm and close relationship that has included my partner Donna. To say that we had a great friendship would be an understatement. Donna and I have never enjoyed the company of another so much as we had with you, Albert, nor have we ever spent so much time with any other person, family or friend. Not a day goes by whenever we have the opportunity. We look forward to a visit with you. There's so much joy and laughter when we're together. Late last year we shared in your grieving Diane's passing, and we're there to comfort and support you through your loss. Since that time, we've noticed a great improvement in your health, vitality, and disposition, brought about in part by the relief of not having to provide the constant care for poor Diane. We were delighted after the results of your recent CAT scan, which had shown no problems, and that your mental acuity assessment confirmed for the present time your ability to make serious decisions in your own best interests. Albert, as you're aware, these assessments can be requested at any time. The results which can have a major impact on your lifestyle. It's inevitable that over the course of time our mental and physical abilities do decline. In your case, Albert, that may occur for any reason and at any time. Simple fall, for instance, may cause a debilitating injury and render you unable to look after yourself. Should this happen, it is imperative to ensure your wishes are properly documented to protect you. During the last year, the three of us have talked about the mutual benefits of eventually combining our resources with the possibility of living together as an extended family. Donna and I have discussed this idea at length and believe that the benefits far outweigh any disadvantages. For you, Albert, the main benefit is one of ongoing security and safety, comfort, loving care, and companionship. For Donna and me, it also provides a sense of security and the knowledge that we are close by and able to assist you. So how can this be achieved? Well, here are some suggestions. A review and any subsequent change to your will, enduring power of attorney, and possibly your executor should be done while you have the legal mental capacity to do so. Failure to do this in a timely manner may likely result in an unwanted situation. You first speak with your daughter Brooke. You tell her your wishes for the three of us to eventually live in the Poplar Hill home together as an extended family unit. Brooke has expressed no interest in living in the family home, but would rather relocate to the Orca Bay area. You then suggest that you acquire her interest in the family home. Donna and I plan to stay in our present location and would only move in with you if and when you are ready to accept us as an extended family unit. That is all for now. Love and hugs, Mark.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

Oh my sweet Jesus, the utter bullshit. This letter's a carrot and stick stuff, Brooke.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

My God, it's just incredible. Mark never ever lets that off the hook. Always kindness laced with coercion. And now they're overriding the psychiatrist's advice. Not to make any changes to his will and POA for at least a year. Yep, unbelievable.

SPEAKER_04 25:08

And hey, what's this about you two not wanting to live at Poplar Hill?

SPEAKER_03 25:13

Well, that's just garbage. We've never considered Orca Bay. Always talk to mom and dad about being at Poplar Hill when they were gone.

SPEAKER_04 25:21

Good grief, they're scaring the pants off your poor old defenseless father.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Exactly! Who the heck does this mark guy think he is? He thinks he owns your father, darling, and I'm afraid he might be right. Wow. They're trying to get into Poplar Hill.

SPEAKER_04 25:36

Deep breath, darling. Deep breath. Now, let's read it all over again.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Okay. But then I'm calling my lawyer.

SPEAKER_05 25:48

Our dramatization continues in the next episode. But now we explore today's theme. What families can do when they suspect a parent is being preyed upon, and how confidentiality, the very thing meant to protect us, can also protect those who would do us harm. First lawyer Charlotte Sellman, then Nathan Spalling, founder of the Capacity Clinic, and co-founder of the Canadian Center for Decision Making Capacity.

unknown 26:12

Right.

SPEAKER_12 26:13

So if you think that your parent, your elderly uh friend is being uh bamboozled, so to speak, there's nothing wrong with contacting the police and asking them to do a wellness check on the person, especially if you feel that you are being cut out from the life of that uh person that you care for, you're not allowed to see them, you're not uh able to talk to them on the phone, um, or you know, let's say their doctor wants to see them, but the patient never calls to make a doctor's appointment, then I think that's a really good avenue to go is through the police. If there's no power to be done, I think then you would need to get the public guardian and trustee involved and make an application to our attorney. If there is power of attorney and someone is misusing that power of attorney that they were given by the individual, then a court application can be made to remove that particular person or declare that power of attorney invalid and have another attorney appointed instead, or a committee.

SPEAKER_07 27:19

Confidentiality is really a double-edged sword. And I say this because on one hand, you can see how it creates limitations to the due diligence that that people would be crying out for. But on the other hand, it's the underpinning of the fabric of the of the legal industry is being able to have the confidence that I can make decisions, I can get information, I can get advice, and I'm not gonna have to worry about the backlash of how other people are gonna react. And that is, especially when it comes to these types of planning documents, such an important part of how does the professional balance this.

SPEAKER_05 28:08

Today's episode featured the voices of Susan Anderson as Nancy, Andy Dawson Reed as Bert, Jason Stevens as Mark, Susan Wilkie as Brooke, Amy Jones as Janice, Rick Caulfield as Jason, Margaret Donald Kuntz as Dr. Owen, Marion O'Byrne as Mins as Mark, and Mary Knox as Vicky. Barry Bowman. This is a production of Radio Sydney, with support from the Government of Canada's New Horizons program for seniors. The series was produced by Bill Collins, written by Nancy Miles and Brooke Cooper. Dramatization was directed by Matt Watson with sound engineering by Bill Collins. I'm Barry Bowman. Please join us again.

SPEAKER_07 28:57

Coming to you from the Mary Wynn Spear Center in downtown Sydney by the sea in beautiful British Columbia. Thanks for listening.