I Cannot Put Words in Order Anymore

At a meeting with his psychiatrist, Bert says quietly: 'I cannot put words in the order anymore.' The cognitive decline is obvious. While the family struggles to process what's happening, Donna maneuvers her way onto the title of Poplar Hill, the Cooper family home of more than thirty years. A nurse confides that Bert's version of his family history bears no resemblance to reality. Bert's brainwashing is complete. Featured expert: Nathan Spaling on the absence of a Canadian framework for capacity assessment, the subjectivity that creeps into every professional opinion, and how a person's long-held intentions can be quietly overturned by a brief second opinion.

Beware Mysterious Mark is a Radio Sidney production. This project is funded in part by the Government of Canada's New Horizons for Seniors Program.

Show notes, episode transcripts and resources: mark.radiosidney.ca

Contact: info@radiosidney.ca

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to Beware Mysterious Mark. This ten part series is a harrowing, true account of elder financial abuse. Some of what you'll hear may be unsettling. That's intentional. Because this can happen to anyone, your parent, your partner, your friend. Our goal is to expose how these schemes work, reveal the warning signs, and help you stop it before it happens to someone you love. So listen closely. Awareness is your first line of defense. In our last episode, the RCMP couldn't prove financial fraud against Mark and Donna. The psychiatrist declared Bert Cooper incapable of financial decision making. But Mark convinced Bert that it was all down to Brooke. And now here's our storyteller, Nancy Miles, with episode 8, entitled, I Cannot Put Words in Order Anymore.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Bert and Brooke were scheduled for an emergency meeting with psychiatrist Dr. Becker on June 18th. But this time Bert refused to travel with his daughter. So when Brooke arrived home, I was anxiously pacing in the driveway.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Donna was there with Dad. And for the first time, Dr. Becker was held up. Donna? Well, what was she doing there? Wasn't sure at first. When Dr. Becker finally showed up, Donna handed Dad a load of typed pages. Dad asked Dr. Becker if he could have five minutes alone, so they disappeared for half an hour. Eventually, all five of us went in for a very short meeting. We all sat six feet apart, except Donna. She was practically glued to Dad.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

What? They let her in? She's not family.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Jason asked Dad, and of course he said yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Surprise, surprise. Okay, so what were the papers all about?

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Ah, that's the nub. Turns out Dad wanted this meeting so he could change his will. But now doctor Becker's letter is stopping him. Aha, so doctor Becker reminded Dad that because he was considered incapable of financial decision making, he couldn't make any decisions about his will without me as his POA.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Right. What'd you say?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Nothing. I just listened. But Donna was in there like a dirty shirt. Dr. Becker got her to concede that whatever Dad was trying to do with his will, it was to her advantage.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Oh good for him.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

He asked if she'd helped Dad prepare the documentation that Dad handed to Dr. Becker. You should have heard her tie herself into knots, trying to explain how Dad prepared it all.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

What? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Yeah. I'm paraphrasing. But she ended up admitting that she and Mark did legal research regarding precedence to change a will. Donna intimated that Dad told them what he wanted to say. But of course that's ridiculous. She suggested all they did was help Bert with typing.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Wow, man.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

But then dear old Dad said something very telling. What? He said, You know I cannot put words in the order anymore.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Oh, the poor guy. He's really having a hard time.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah. It was painful.

SPEAKER_03 3:42

Anything else?

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Well, Donna never shut up, and a couple of minutes later she lied straight up. Claimed she was just trying to open an account dad's bank. But we know from the manager, Daniel, she was trying to transfer money from our joint account to hers.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

Big difference.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Yeah. Then she lied again, saying Dad had no caregivers because of COVID.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

Also BS. Your dad told Vicky she couldn't come and help him because his oh so caring caregivers didn't want her to, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yep. Then when Dr. Becker explained to Dad that no matter who was his POA, there was a possibility of financial abuse. Dad almost saved the day.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

How?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Dad said and I quote. Dad said, I'm sure Brooke wouldn't. I'm certain she wouldn't cheat on anything at all to benefit herself.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

He still knows you, Brooke.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Poor old guy. He's very mad at me for Becker's letter, but once in a while he says something that lifts me up.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Yeah, wish it were more often. At the end.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

No, Donna finished with I love him like a father.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

The sting of this meeting was still fresh in our minds when four days later, lawyer Simon called. It's Monday morning, June 22nd, and Simon's fit to burst. Tells us that the ticker he put on the title to Poplar Hill has signaled a change in the deed. And what a change. Mark had finally found a lawyer who agreed to accept Bert as a client. Now this unscrupulous lawyer had helped Bert secretly sever the ownership of Poplar Hill by dividing it in half. Hold on. This requires some consideration. Remember three months ago? Bert was desperate to remove his name from the deed to Poplar Hill, so Donna and Mark would have no claim to it after he died, right? In return, Brook agreed to remove her name from the joint stock account. Right? Again. But now Bert has done a 180 intentionally betraying Brooke and her mum. With the help of Mark and Donna, Bert has secretly severed the title to Poplar Hill. Now, Brooke only owned 50%, and Bert and Donna together owned the other 50. Remember, Donna Hatcher stepped directly into Bert's limelight only 18 months ago after Diane Cooper died. So now when Bert dies, that morally bankrupt prima will inherit about half of a million dollar home. Not bad for just flashing feminine wiles and lying to the old man. So how many of you know that this secret severing of a house title can even happen? I bet very, very few. We sure didn't. This was a whopping and heartbreaking bombshell. That Mark and Donna could have exploited Brooke's dad to betray her and her mum, and then for Bert and Donna to keep mum about it at the meeting with Dr. Becker was frankly too much to digest. We were shattered. Not only did the creeps manipulate Bert to reject his wife's dying wishes, but to also keep the secret from Brooke. So quite possibly Brooke wouldn't learn about this disloyalty until after her dad's death. The idea is revolting. Okay. So you've finally been exposed to Donna Hatcher. Excruciating, wasn't it? My take is that she's an unfortunate mix of arrogance and ignorance and is totally under Mark's vile spell. Who would accept undeservingly half the title to a family home without discussing it with the other title holder? I mean, can you slither any lower on the human ethical scale? And how on earth did we get here, you ask? Well, I think it's down to Donna's supposed victimhood, triggering old Bert's white knight syndrome. Let me explain. I gotta admit, Mark is skillful. He convinced Bert that even though Donna's life had been difficult, she had actually walked away from two million dollars in compensation. Yes, this is what Bert believed. Bert had even told Brooke that his favorite couple would never make up that two million. But of course, like most things that involved Mark and Donna, this was mostly fiction. We investigated Donna's tale of woe. The court had issued her a settlement of five hundred and sixty thousand dollars for brain-related injuries. Not two million. But she sure tried hard as hell to get her money, including appealing to the public. In the end, Donna only received $15,000. What we couldn't understand was why lie about it? Isn't that a strong enough tug your heart story? But no, not for this pair of cons. We realized that Donna was an integral part of Mark's con from the very beginning. I'm certain that if Donna hadn't existed, Bert would have quickly kicked the self-centered sociopath to the curb. But unfortunately, the old man falling for an attentive younger woman scenario was blossoming on Poplar Hill. Appears being gifted a $25,000 car wasn't enough. Bert had now given the other woman the keys to half his family home. He confirmed that this transfer was accomplished while Bert was legally declared incapable of financial decision making and that Mark knew all about Dr. Becker's letter. In theory, this should make the transfer moot. Simon immediately started making calls to Bert's new lawyer. A burst of behind the scenes telephone calls followed, and I began researching legal capacity and transferring of property. Like everything related to incapacity, information was plenty, but finding anything precisely relevant was challenging. I did, however, stumble across a pertinent case where the court decided that the critical time for determining legal capacity is at the time of the transfer. I sent the info to our lawyer. Then on June 24th, Simon phoned us with another jawdropper. He had just spoken with Bert's social worker. Jason said that Dr. Becker was so disturbed by this title transfer, he had ordered Bert to be immediately admitted to the psychiatric ward of the local hospital for tests and a second assessment by another psychiatrist. Jason indicated that Bert was keen to go into hospital in order to get tested more quickly and regain his autonomy. We couldn't believe it. Brooke's dad was being sanctioned under the Mental Health Act. Ouch! We knew that Bert would be incandescent and would once again blame Brooke. Meanwhile, Simon, who had yet to reach Bert's lawyer, felt we should wait to see the results of Bert's tests and of the second psychiatric opinion before acting. He confirmed that we required this other opinion to support Dr. Becker. Simon appeared confident in Brooke's position regarding the title to Poplar Hill. I think you'll appreciate his legalese.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

I'll talk to your dad's lawyer tomorrow. My argument will be that this was your property, Brooke. You transferred a half interest to your father. But he in fact was holding it in trust. This is basically the terms of the joint tenancy. So on your father's death, the house would revert back to you. And if you, Brooke, passed away before him, the home would be his. So there's evidence of an unwritten trust agreement.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Simon eventually discussed the situation with Bert's lawyer. Then Simon asked for the transfer to be rescinded within ten days. Ten days passed without a peep. Simon then prepared a letter, signed by Brooke as Bert's power of attorney, officially requesting the cancellation of the title transfer. Simon included a copy of Dr. Becker's letter. Since her dad was incapable and Brook was legally acting on his behalf, that should have been it. But maybe you've already guessed that it wasn't. Bert's lawyer just ignored Simon's letter and several follow-up phone calls. He just refused to respond. So what were Brooke's legal options? Well, there were really only two. The first, wait, and hope that the second psychiatric opinion on Bert's financial capacity confirmed Dr. Becker's diagnosis. Brooke was in bits over this option because if her dad was declared permanently incapable of financial management, he would blame her, and their relationship would be irrevocably destroyed. And the second, something Brooke would never countenance was to sue her own father for what we believed was an illegitimate title transfer. Neither option was palatable for us. We were stuck. Later, the social worker Jason called Brooke to inform her that her dad was already en route to hospital, with Mark as his escort. Jason explained that Bert would not be allowed visitors, and his length of stay was unknown. The conversation wound around to the recent meeting with Dr. Becker. When Brooke mentioned Donna's discomfort in explaining who prepared the legal documents that Bert handed over to Dr. Becker, Jason let loose.

SPEAKER_05 15:08

Yeah. Dr. Becker had to tease those comments out of Donna.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

It was painful to listen to.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

And the research involved. Apparently there was stuff in there referring to precedence in previous court cases. I haven't seen this letter or the documents your father brought, but it sounds almost threatening. And Donna must have known that as of June 10th, she was untitled to your family home. She must have. There's no way your father did that on his own, all by himself. But she didn't think it was noteworthy that your father had made such a significant financial decision.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Also, she wasn't truthful about her bank visit with Dad. She made it sound like she was just there to open an account. So Dad could teach her about the stock market.

SPEAKER_05 15:53

I remember. I remember that. And your lawyer sent us a letter to that effect. You know, Brooke, both bank visits are noted in your father's chart. Well, the way Donna and Mark have been talking to you and Dr. Becker and me. They haven't been forthcoming. They have not been forthcoming. Donna and Mark have definitely, unfortunately, sadly, and to the detriment of any kind of relationship you've had with your father, played on him and on his psychic to make you the villain of the story. So you're the one who, in the throes of your father's grief, dragged him to the lawyer to appoint you as his POA. Supposedly he didn't know what he was signing, you know? And on and on it goes.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

But he's forgotten that I've been his POA since 1999, 20 years before mom died. And just about a month ago, he'd spoken to a neighbor about changing his POA. But now he's insisting he was only talking about me being his executor. His memory isn't good, Jason.

SPEAKER_05 16:53

I know. Your father's a person who has some cognitive deficits. And so there are gaps in his memory. Unfortunately, those gaps are being exploited by Mark and Donna. They're probably doing some revisionist history to help make him change his memories.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Over a year ago, Mark claimed I was violent towards my dad, and he was afraid of me. Is that still out there?

SPEAKER_05 17:16

I believe so. You know, Brooke, the whole thing is very ugly and unfortunate.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Okay. I think now might be time for reflection. A short recap about the ramifications of all this unyielding stress. Don't forget, unlike me, Brooke has no siblings to fight with her, defend her, or put truth to Mark's modacity about the Cooper family history. Her mum is dead, almost all of her parents' friends likewise, and I might as well be, given my pariah status. So for the most part, Dear Brooke is battling on her own, struggling to respond to both Mark and Donna's relentless strategies to ruin her relationship with her dad, destroy her family's memories, and steal her family's assets. She will no longer inherit sole ownership of Poplar Hill, left to her by her mother. Instead, she will eventually have to legally confront Donna, the leech, over her family home. It's clear now that all the crap fabricated by this couple is calculated to convince Bert that his daughters know good, and that they are the only people on this planet who care about and will care for Bert Cooper. With the benefit of COVID restrictions and their endless love bombing and lies, Donna and Mark have successfully kept Bert isolated and yes, brainwashed within their abusive cult bubble. I so wanted to blast old Bert, prove to him how Brooke's done nothing but try to protect him and bellow at him for being so dreadful to his daughter. But still respecting Brooke's early request, I didn't. At least not yet. As for Brooke and me, our personal discussions about this sickening situation never ended quickly and left harsh echoes. Brooke had received only two solid pieces of professional medical advice. Don't challenge her dad about this couple, and try to be more touchy-feely with her dad. Brooke adopted the first, but was uncomfortable with the second. Like her mum, she was a logical explainer, using facts instead of emotion to answer her dad's questions. But really it didn't matter. Her dad wasn't willing or able to listen. I often wonder how might we have handled all this better. Have you any ideas? I'd sure love to know, because man, it's been damaging to us, both individually and as a couple. And it was about to get much worse. Now we're moving into two new phases. AKA, the black holes, from mid-2020 to mid-2021. We don't have all the facts. We didn't get them at the time, and we won't ever, unless Brooke decides to sue for the information. The situation isn't satisfactory to us. In fact, it's infuriating and will likely be the same for you. We're left with many unanswered questions and never-ending ruminations. So, in a nutshell, this is what I can tell you about black hole number one. Bert Cooper's stay in hospital and the following instrumental developments. Bert willingly entered the mental health unit in late June 2020, where over eight days he underwent tests, brain scans, and examination by a second psychiatrist. In the end, we received little information. But while Bert was hospitalized, a nurse admitted to Brooke that her dad's rendition of their family history was dramatically different from Brooke's. What the heck did that mean? She also read Brooke the results of Bert's brain scan. Non specific changes in both temporal lobes and superior frontal lobe, which may be related to the severe cerebral atrophy. And ischemic changes, evident on his recent MRI test. Without an explanation, it was difficult for us to judge. But the results sounded ominous. So I checked with my psychiatrist brother-in-law. He said these results were significant, indicating a fairly severe form of Alzheimer's, resulting in frontal lob problems in personality, impulsivity, and memory. He did stress, though, that this scan on its own was not a diagnosis. Brooke spoke with Dr. Xavier, the hospital psychiatrist, twice. We're calling him Dr. X. The first conversation focused on Bert's financial assets, income and bank accounts. Seven days later, during the second, Dr. X admitted Bert's situation was complex, adding, Bert's understanding of his finances was unclear. Bert exhibited worrying changes in behavior, and Bert had undertaken legal steps that Brooke should be able to reverse, as Bert was deemed incapable. Dr. X offered no diagnosis and no explanation of Bert's scans. He indicated that although he was sending Bert home, further testing by the occupational therapist would follow, and he needed more time before commenting to Dr. Becker. Brooke and family friend Vicky drove a relaxed Bert home. He appeared genuinely grateful to Brooke for picking him up, squeezing her hand in thanks. Brooke had been deeply touched, telling me they'd had a moment, an intimate connection with her dad that she hadn't felt in months. We expected Bert to rest for a few days. But the next afternoon, Donna arrived at our front door demanding the return of Bert's camera. I had recently removed it, while Brook, Vicky, and I took it upon ourselves to clean Poplar Hill, in advance of Bert's return from hospital. I spotted Bert about twenty feet away, almost skulking behind a bush. He ignored my greeting, not surprising, I guess. But when Brooke stepped out, the father with whom she had bonded less than twenty-four hours earlier turned his back and walked away.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

Our dramatization continues in the next episode, but now we explore today's theme. The lack of a Canadian framework for capacity assessment, the subjectivity that creeps into every opinion, and how a person's long-held intentions can be quietly overturned. Nathan Spaulding, founder of the Capacity Clinic and co-founder of the Canadian Center for Decision Making Capacity.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Yeah, you know, one thing, if we're talking about some of the due diligence, we're also figur uh we're also facing a really big mountain here. And why why I say that is of course what I'm talking about being so disconnected is really, really uh uh shocking to most people. But we're not just in the middle of the greatest wealth transfer of all time. This isn't just the time where people are making the most complex medical decisions in history because of the advances in technology. We're doing both of those on the back of the greatest client transfer of all time. Your professional that's helping you with this historically throughout your life is probably going to retire. Your care provider, who you think is going to be doing the assessment, is going to retire. And and these are all going to be the people that you're expecting to be there for you at these critical times. And there's so much subjectivity that people have without a Canadian framework for being able to have some reference points around things like capacity. You know, uh uh how how do you balance confidentiality in you know, in terms of the investigation type of work that has to go with us? These are these are so important for the professions to start to give the members more guidance, more support, you know, and and more um uh leadership around so that we're not just protecting their professional reputations, you know, we're protecting the clients that we work with as well. So it's really important to understand when it comes to registries and it comes to reducing the risk of fraud, the need for a cohesive system for these documents to prevent fraud can't be spread across five different database holders. We see this in the medical system all the time. Is you can't access somebody's data because it's in a different system. And when it comes to a person's power of attorney, we have to have a cohesive system that works across Canada. And and different than a will registry. A will registry is concerned about finding the original document after death. But that document is ultimately validated by the court. The power of attorney, on the other hand, this is a fraud prevention system. This is why we can't have systems that don't talk to each other for the drafters and the holders. It's for the professionals to be able to access and register the documents. If you think of the different sources that a person can get these documents from the professionals, a different professional, an electronic solution online, or a hard copy template. And anytime somebody signs one of those three, even if you've had it done with a professional, it can revoke or undo all the planning that you had in place, and this becomes a tool for POA fraud or POA misuse. So the registry not only has the last in time serving as a source of truth, but it has a revocation notice system built into it. And the revocation notice system takes it away and out of the hands of the professionals where the system is going to give notice to the previous POA. And and that previous POA, if they have notice that they've had their authority revoked, this is the time that they can seek action and actually take proactive steps to protecting somebody's interests. So if you want more information on the POA registry, go to www.poaregistry.ca.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Today's episode featured the voices of Susan Anderson as Nancy, Susan Wilkie as Brooke, Joe Supple as Simon, and Rick Cofield as Jason. This is a production of Radio Sydney, with support from the Government of Canada's New Horizons program for seniors. The series was produced by Bill Collins, written by Nancy Miles and Brooke Cooper. Dramatization was directed by Matt Watson with sound engineering by Bill Collins. I'm Barry Bowman. Please join us again.