Why You Feel Distant from God (And How to Find Jesus Again)

Do you feel like you're searching for Jesus but can’t seem to find Him?

If you’ve been feeling distant from God, spiritually lost, or unsure of where He is in your life, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I share part of my testimony and walk through Luke 24:13–35, exploring what it looks like to search for Jesus and how He often reveals Himself in ways we don’t expect.

My prayer is that this conversation brings you closer to Him, gives you peace, and reminds you that you are not alone in this journey.

If this episode speaks to you, feel free to reach out or connect with me on social media, I’d love to hear from you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome to Janelle and Jesus. I am Janelle, and of course, we always have Jesus. This is our very first episode. How exciting! I cannot wait to share what the Lord has placed on my heart. But first, before we do that, I do kind of want to intro what this channel is and what we can expect going forward. Um basically, what the Lord has shared and put on my heart is to create a safe space for believers and non-believers alike to have this area where they're able to just share all of their thoughts and questions without a filter. There is no question too profound or too simple. There is no struggle that you are facing in life that is too dirty or too deep that we aren't able to kind of just walk through together because that is what the Christian walk is. And I really just have this burning desire on my heart to get into those topics that are kind of taboo to talk about at church or to, I don't know, not pretty and packaged enough, right? This Christian walk is beautiful. I don't get me wrong, walking with the Lord is insanely beautiful and just worth everything that we go through, but we do go through things, and they're real, struggles are real, and I have gone through quite a few trials in my life, and I really just want to share them with you guys and even answer questions that you guys have with my perspective and all of these different things because that is what community is for. So I hope that you find community here, and by the end of this episode, that you would just join us on my little corner of YouTube and join the community and really let's just be there for one another. Let's dive into each other and just let it loose, you know. I don't know. Anyway, all that to say, let's dive into our first episode. So if you click this video, it means that you are having a hard time finding Jesus. Now, this does not necessarily mean that you are not a believer. This can be for both believers and non-believers. Um, when I was struggling with this, I was a believer. There wasn't really ever a time where I ever wandered off too far or left Jesus, but yet there was this three-year gap in my life where I thought everything was falling apart. I could not leave my house without having an anxiety attack. I would struggle very, very heavily with depression. Um, I had thoughts of suicide. I when I tell you, I literally thought I was dying every single day. I would go to the hospital and they'd be like, You're okay, you're just freaking out. And I'm like, then why do I feel like it's literally the end? Like it was really a hard, hard, hard time for me. And I would cry out to God so often, and I felt like I wasn't hearing anything back. I felt like I was so like I was just drowning in sorrow and pity and it just everything. I felt like the world was caving in around me, and I would cry out to him and be like, Where are you? I don't get it. You told me in your word you would never leave me or forsake me. Yet I feel like you have left me. What's going on? Right? And it would, it's a real struggle. So if you are going through that, please don't think you're crazy and don't think that God can't handle those types of prayers. Because they're vulnerable and they're real, but we'll get to that in a second. Now, if you are not a believer and you've never experienced the Lord, and all you know about the Lord is what other people have told you and shown you. First, if they've ever hurt you, I'm sorry, but that wasn't him. That wasn't the Lord. He is so kind and so gentle and so loving. He doesn't care about your past, he doesn't care about your current situation, what you're going through. All he wants is your heart. He loves you so, so, so much that he got up on a cross and died for you so that you would never have to be separated from him again. Thank you, Jesus. So as I was praying about this episode, it's actually funny because that this was not even what I was going to talk about today. I was actually gonna talk about a completely different topic, which I hope we will get to in the future. But I was praying over today, and the Lord just completely derailed what I was talking about. So I love when he does that, and amen. I'll do anything he asks. And he brought me to the road to Emmaus. Um, it's found in Luke 24, 13 through 35. And if you are unfamiliar with this story, it's basically where two people are walking down the road, they've heard the story that Jesus has been crucified and he is in a tomb, and he is he's gone, right? And they're distraught and they're sad, and they hear these rumors that the tomb is now empty, but they don't believe it. They're they're disconnected, they don't, they can't see it for themselves, right? But then Jesus comes to them and they do not recognize him, but he comes and he walks with them all the way to Emmaus, and they get to this house and they invite him in to have dinner, and then they break bread together, which they have dinner together, and as soon as the bread is broken, they have a revelation, their eyes have been opened, and they see Jesus sitting in front of them. And then as soon as they recognize him, he vanishes. A couple of things stood out to me as I was reading this. So, first off, when they are walking, they are walking together, so community, they are sad as they are walking. They have heard about Jesus, they've heard that he was the Messiah, that he was the one that came to take away the sins of the world. They've heard all of these rumors and these stories. They even heard the rumor that he was resurrected, yet they did not believe it. Because if they would have believed, they would have believed it, they wouldn't have been sad, right? So they've heard these things, and as they are sad, because Jesus is near to the brokenhearted, he draws near to them, he comes to where they are, yet they do not recognize him, they have no idea that it's Jesus sitting next to them and stand and walking with them, right? And they even they tell Jesus we heard that he was resurrected, that there was an angel that said he is no longer here, for he has risen. Um, but they did not see. So let's just highlight what we've said. These people are walking, they don't really know Jesus, they've just heard rumors, they are going off what people are telling them, they're feeling these things around, whatever, and Jesus draws nearest to them. Jesus draws near to them, but they do not recognize him. Then he gives them word, he gives them the word. And if we know anything from John, Jesus is the word, he is the word of God, he is the word that became flesh. So he's basically revealing himself in the word, he is giving them revelation in the word, and then as they're traveling and they're listening to the word, all of these things, they go into the house and then they break the bread. And if we know about communion, we know that the bread symbolizes his body tearing, being broken for us, the physical body being broken, right? And that tearing the veil of the tabernacle, and I will do an in-depth video about the tabernacle because it is just so interesting. So many people skip the tabernacle in the Bible, but man, I promise you, it's so edifying to just look at it and see how Jesus is revealed in it. But when Jesus died, the veil of the tabernacle that separated the inner courts from the Holy of Holies, where God's presence was, the very insides of the tabernacle was always protected by this giant red veil. As soon as Jesus died, there was an earthquake, and the veil tore from the top to the bottom, so from heaven down. Ugh, so good. And there was no longer a veil to hide God's presence. Now, when we see this, when Jesus breaks the bread, it symbolizes when he's dying. And the veil has been lifted from their eyes, and they are able to see Jesus clearly. And I wish someone would have told me this all those years ago when I was struggling with this, but we just need to break bread. Chanel, what does what does that mean? What does that look like? It means to be in communion with him. And I know that doesn't necessarily, again, also answer anything, but I found that when I genuinely sought his presence, he would show up. I think a lot of our issue nowadays, we are so distracted with our phones, we are so distracted with social media, listening to podcasts like this one, listening to other preachers and other influencers, which there's nothing inherently wrong with all of those things. I absolutely should be listening to sermons, get in the podcast, all of these things. But when we rely on others' revelations of the Lord to supplement our bodies and our spiritual lives, our spiritual eyes, we will starve. And Jesus says He is the bread of life, right? And we see in Exodus when Moses is leading the Israelites out of Egypt, manna, which is like bread, would fall from the heavens, but there would only be enough for one day. And if they were trying, if they would try and carry it over to the next day, it would immediately go rotten because it was only meant for that one day. And what I have learned painstakingly is that the Lord wants to feed us every single day, he wants us to be in his presence every single day. And you're like, Janelle, I don't have time for that. I don't have time to sit with the Lord and just eat of his presence every day. Well, one. If a parent does not discipline their child, there is no love. So I pray that you take it as loving conviction. Because, you know, but anyway, I have found that if I do not seek the Lord's presence every single day, it allows space for other things. And again, not that other things are always evil. I'm not saying that you're allowing space for sin, like you're sinning, right? But there's there's a thing that is just distraction. When I was in that phase of my life in those three years, I found very often that I would just try and distract myself. When I would try and sit in the Lord's presence, I couldn't. I couldn't. I would cry out to him, like I would just like release my emotions and cry, but I wouldn't sit. I couldn't. I didn't know how. And I would run to my phone, as we all do, and I would just sit on Instagram for a bunch of hours. I would watch videos, all of those things. And it wasn't until one day I went to church, man, the Lord hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like the three years that I was avoiding him just hit me all at once. And I couldn't stop crying. And what the Lord revealed to me about that time wasn't, I didn't feel that way because I was at a church. I felt that way because it was the first time that I looked at him in three years. It was the first time that I glanced at him in three years. And it was like he was just saying, finally, finally, you're home. I just remember him saying, I never left. You just weren't looking. So I definitely encourage you if you are in that phase where you don't think you can find him, you don't see him anywhere. I need you to go into your room, to go into your closet, to go into a secret place, and turn your phone off. I need you to turn your phone off. Put it in another room, lock it away. I don't know what you need to do. You need to remove all electronics, any distraction. You need to turn off the worship music. Look at me when I tell you this. You need to turn off the worship music. Worship is incredible. I am a worship leader. I love worship. Do not miss do not mishear my heart. You need silence. You need to learn how to quiet your brain so that you can hear him. Imagine you're walking into someone's house that you haven't seen in forever. And you're like texting them on the way. I can't wait to catch up with you. It's gonna be so fun. Can't wait to hear what's going on in your life. Whatever. But yet, when you walk into the house, you actually have a blindfold on and headphones at full blast noise canceling. And you just start like yapping. Like you walk in and you stand in the middle of the room because you don't know where you are, because you're blindfolded. You just start talking and talking and talking because you wanted to vent about something, and you just talk and talk and talk, and then you leave. That you're like, ugh, think of that equal to when you're going into your prayer room or just you know, into prayer, and you're either just saying things to say things to say that you prayed at the end of the night, like Jesus, thank you for this day, thank you for everything that you've given me, uh, thank you for breath in my lungs, and amen. Or you are praying about your situation, which amen, absolutely, but then the minute you stop praying about your situation, you stop praying. What I have found in my personal walk is to linger a little longer. Keep praying those prayers if that's your starting point, and you can't even possibly fathom praying anything else besides what you're praying, that's okay because I was there. But would you linger a little bit? Again, no worship music, no phone, no nothing. Would you just sit there and linger? The first couple times you do it, you might not hear anything. Your mind might just start to wander and just wander and wander and wander, and that's okay. You need to learn how to process your thoughts, you need to learn how to think through things. After a couple of times, you'll start to get a sensitivity in your spirit to hear the Lord, and when I say hear, most of the time, people hear him in different ways, but most of the time, he will show you something in your vision, like he'll give you a vision. That's how the Lord speaks, most of the time. After a couple times, you'll start to hear him more. Another really good way to hear him, the Bible. These are his words, and his words are him. If you don't read this, how can you know him? How do you how do you know his voice? The Lord has a very distinct tone in which he speaks, but yet you won't be able to recognize it because you don't know how he how he talks. But when you're trying to find Jesus, you need to quiet down the noise and learn how he speaks so that you're able to communicate. So back to the road to Emmaus. I love a part where after Jesus leaves, they say, Did our hearts not burn within us when he was reading the scriptures to us? So, some parallels that we can still talk about is that when we are on this walk, we don't recognize Jesus is walking with us because we don't know his word. We don't know the scripture, we don't know what he's saying, we don't know the revelation. But it'll still resonate with us. Even in those three years where I didn't feel Jesus, when I was crying out in those times, man, I still, my heart would burn. And I would, I would have a burning in my spirit and a sensitivity in my spirit. Like he was like he wanted to say something, but he just couldn't get through to me. When you have those burnings, when you have that, let that be an indication, let that be an invitation, right? To break bread with him, to sit down and break bread with him, be in his presence. Commune with the Lord. Sit down, shut up, and just dwell. Just dwell. Well, give him five minutes and then make it ten. Then make it fifteen. And just let it let it go naturally. He will start to reveal so much to you and just speak to you so clearly. I think that's all I had to say. If you're looking for Jesus, he's right there. Would you literally just sit? He'll come. He's not far, I promise. He's sitting right there waiting for an open invitation, just for you to say yes, would you come and commune with me? And he will be there right away. And if you are not a believer and you're like, I don't even know what that means, that's okay. I didn't know what that meant for a long time, and I was a believer. What I mean is, would you literally just sit down in silence? Start off your prayer and just say, Lord, I invite you into my space. I invite you into this room, into the atmosphere. Would you sit with me? Would you sit with me and reveal yourself to me? And he listens to prayers. He'll answer it. And if he doesn't answer it on the first one, keep going. Keep doing it every single day. I promise you he'll answer. And don't forget, read your word. It's important. Um, I do want to just pray over you guys. This is a heavy topic. It's not something that is an easy thing to share about, to listen about, to confide in someone about. So really just praying over you guys and sealing in any revelation that the Lord brought to you today. So if you would bow your heads with me. Heavenly Father, I thank you for whoever's on the other side of the screen watching right now, Lord. There is a reason that they clicked on this video, and I just pray that you would reveal yourself to them. I pray, Heavenly Father, for fresh revelation, for fresh breaking of the bread, that you would dwell with them right now, Heavenly Father. It would that they wouldn't even have to wait till the end of the day or tomorrow to just be in your presence, Lord. But would this word just strike something in them, Lord, that they would be able to see you, feel you, and hear you in an absolutely brand new way, Lord. Would you just reveal your heart to them, reveal your love for them, that they are your creation, they are your beloved. And would they just return home? Lord, we love you. We thank you that you are just so beautiful. We thank you that you are so loving and so kind. I thank you, and I seal this by the blood of Jesus. I thank you for everyone watching, Lord. In your mighty name we pray. Amen. Amen. Thanks for praying with me. That is it for episode one of Janelle and Jesus. Um, if you like this video, please like, subscribe, comment, all of the things. Um, if you have any questions or any topic ideas, feel free to please leave a comment or DM me on Instagram or TikTok. It's all Janelle and Jesus. Um, yeah, and let's let's just open the conversation. Let's have fun. I love you guys. Jesus loves you, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.