Tea and Timtams

Ep 8, woop woop, it's the sound of the police

Sydney and Clayton Season 1 Episode 8

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0:00 | 21:41

Not ideal, second day in Bali being pulled over by the police! 

SPEAKER_02

Why are you smiling at like that with your big white teeth? I'm just smiling. You got a bit of food actually in them.

SPEAKER_01

Too nice.

SPEAKER_02

How do you always have food in those gnashes? I think it's there from two days ago. I'm done.

SPEAKER_01

I was asking Vic before when you do.

SPEAKER_02

Every time that you say I've got something. I promise you. Let's see. Yeah, there's a Oh, it looks like a big card of rice. Ow! That must have hurt your gum there. See, I hate it when people tell me I've got something in my teeth, but I would rather they told me than didn't, because then it's not like, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Why don't you just voluntuous, big, beautiful teeth, babe? That's voluptuous.

SPEAKER_02

That's not a describing word of teeth. Hello, darling.

SPEAKER_00

Hello, darling. Hiya, how are you? Good.

SPEAKER_02

We're on Hollies. It's very hot here.

SPEAKER_00

Bagus! Got the shades on. Bagus. Of it means good.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, Bagus. So we're talking to our driver, our driver Argus. Bagus, who is the best taxi man ever. If you are ever coming to Bali, let me know. I'll hook you up.

SPEAKER_01

He said his name is not good. Because it doesn't have to be on the front. It doesn't have to be on the front of Argus. Otherwise he'd be good agus. So now we call him Bagus Agus.

SPEAKER_02

He fucking loved that, didn't he? He did love it. The other day when we were on the moped, I was on the back and I had loads of shopping and my phone was hanging out of my pocket. Oh, that was unreal. How did that happen? So I had my phone like hanging out of my pocket. I didn't realize.

SPEAKER_01

You're on the back of the screwdriver, I'm dinking ya. And we're just randomly a couple of K from our villa. A couple of K. Or whatever it is, a K up the road, and we're at an intersection. Next minute, this uh taxi's beep beep.

SPEAKER_00

And then he jumped, and then I'm like, oh fuck, your phone missed.

SPEAKER_01

This was, mind you, two hours after he dropped us off from the airport or whatever, our last hotel, to this villa. What has he been doing for two or three hours? And Uluatu's made.

SPEAKER_02

He just happened to be there. And he was like, Miss your phone, your phone. Oh, so close, so close. Bless him, he's dead, can he, isn't he? I love him.

SPEAKER_01

It's so nice. He's such a legend.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, we're in a different spot today. We're in a villa in Uluatu, which is very nice.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. It's bloody hot, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02

It's hot. I was just thinking that. I'm right in the like right on the edge of the sun here, but I'm not complaining because. It's the first day of winter a couple of days ago in Melbourne.

SPEAKER_01

In Melbourne, and it's pouring rain and everyone's complaining. So good here.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01

Bali is just the best.

SPEAKER_02

It is, isn't it? I love it so much.

SPEAKER_01

It's my first time down in Iluatu, but you've been here before.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um I've done a couple of days down here. Changgu now, so there's different obviously areas within Bali and Changgu, which is just south of no, north.

SPEAKER_01

Just north of the airport.

SPEAKER_02

We're south of the airport near the beach and stuff. And Changgu's just so busy now. Like, oh my god, traffic.

SPEAKER_01

And Semignac is still off its head. And Semignac's still really nice and beautiful, there's heaps of cool stuff to do. All the Watu is obviously thumping, hasn't it?

SPEAKER_02

But it's like a it's like a four to five kilometre journey, and it will take you sometimes two hours to get there in the height of traffic on a on a moped. It's just wild.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, we hired a moped, got new helmets because our we were pulled over, weren't we?

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

This was scary.

SPEAKER_01

This is on our first three days we got rolled by the by the police at a main intersection. We didn't realise going from our first little hotel stop where we were, we wanted to go into Changgu.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

We didn't realise it was going to take us on like the freeway highway. This thing was three lanes wide, was it? Four lanes wide, we had no helmets. You know you're fucked up when when all the Indonesians have helmets on on the road and not no one's not wearing a helmet.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_01

We we and so we're cruising along. It was a bit scary, bit scary.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, so scary because we were stuck there and we couldn't find a helmet. We were like, we need to get a helmet. And then on the way back, we stuck, we come, we were like shitting ourselves, and we came up to we had to get home then.

SPEAKER_01

An intersection.

SPEAKER_02

We came up to a traffic light, and then the police started walking towards us. They were like, off, off, off.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't look, I didn't look. And they were like, it's one five million, whispering in my ear, shit, shit, they're coming. Police. And I'm I'm sitting there going, Oh, please, green, light, go green, go green. And then I'm like, flirt with the idea of burning off.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, no, that would have been bad. So they got so we didn't, so so they basically were like, it's 1.5 million and you have to go to court. I was like, I'm not still here. And I was literally hands-pressed.

SPEAKER_01

Thank God you were there because if it was just on like a previous boys' trip with me, it was just me and the lads in there, there was no way they were letting us off. No, I know.

SPEAKER_02

I was like, please. We're getting one we didn't know. We'd like to go. Please, we don't have any money, please.

SPEAKER_01

And then they're like, okay. The other fella around the back was like, mate, we're always gonna let you go. What we're doing is corrupt here at the moment. We can't ask you to pay all this money. Like, go to court in the middle of Dempazar. You're like, where's court? And they're like, Dempazar. Like, we're not going to fucking Dempazar to fix this up. No. Can't we just pay you? And he's like, Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_02

I know, it was absolutely wild. Um, and then Eloise and Tom have been out here, which has been really lovely. So we've seen them for a couple of days. Do you want to tell them how your your your your beach club experience was? Did you have a good time?

SPEAKER_01

Um from from what I remember, it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_02

From yeah, what you remember? Is that just from my videos of you dancing by yourself and meet making me and new people? Is that what you how you remember? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I thought it was quite responsible to be honest. Like, there's not much to report, guys. We went to a uh El Cabrona really nice beach club and we were home in bed by 7:30 asleep. Flash passed out.

SPEAKER_02

Let me just take me take it from my from what actually happened. So we got there.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't think you're gonna bring up Are you gonna let me talk? I didn't think you're gonna bring this up. Oh, no, go on. Let me talk about it. Hang me out to beat a baddie.

SPEAKER_02

No, you're not a baddie. We had a lovely day. Bad man. We went at about two, we're having a couple of drinks, and the boys being boys, Eloise is like, I want to go home soon. This is after about four hours. And they the boys were then like literally as if they're still about 18. They were like, should we go on to doubles now, lads? Like, should we go on to doubles?

SPEAKER_01

Double shot vodka sodas is what she's referring to, guys.

SPEAKER_02

Double vodka's that honestly.

SPEAKER_01

Water in it, healthy.

SPEAKER_02

There was no water in it.

SPEAKER_01

Soda water's in there, it's healthy.

SPEAKER_02

There was there was, I swear to God, half a thumb left of the of the glass to put the soda water in, and you guys were like, Oh, that's strong. And then all of a sudden, the pair of you, Tom was gone. That pair of things. And I was like, Do you throw up? And then you, we came home and you were like, I need some food, I need some food right now, I need some food, and I was like, okay, I'll get some food. Ordered a pizza, he barely ate any, and then he ate one slice, he liked ate a half a slice at a bit, and then he was just like, Oh my goodness, Dwinkie's not good, twinkies are not good, and I was like, No, and then I was on my phone because it was a quarter past seven at night, and I was like, You didn't want to go to bed, we're like, let's go to bed. No, yeah, you were like, let's go to bed, and I went, We're in bed, it's quarter past night, and then you woke up and you were like, Turn the screen up, and it's really late, it's like midnight, and I was like, It's quarter past seven.

SPEAKER_01

I thought it was midnight, I'd lost all control.

SPEAKER_02

Clearly, and then you were just sleeping naked with your arse out, and I was just like, Oh, get off me.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, that that last double shot, we just didn't need that, and that wasn't even a double, that was a quite like a quadruple they did to us. I don't know why they did that to us. That was the that was the friendly staff at Elcabron did that to us.

SPEAKER_02

The food was really nice in there, wasn't it? And we had a lovely time, and it was so nice to spend some time with Addise and Tom. We also went out for a meal with them. I found though, because Bali, everyone would come here for cheap because it's really uh really cheap, but now it's getting more westernized and built up. You've got those Australian, European people who are owning companies with the Balinese, and they are really quite expensive. Like our bill was $500, £250 there or thereabouts between four of us the other night. We had a couple of drinks each, not a huge amount to drink, but that's quite expensive for our year.

SPEAKER_01

The good places are all westernised money, like it costs.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_01

You but you've just got to be a little bit select with going to the nicer ones, but they're a bit cheaper. They're out there still.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we went to Wackwater.

SPEAKER_01

The main beach clubs and that, yeah. They're gonna sting out exactly what Western money is.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's a lot of more.

SPEAKER_01

It's more, more expensive. Slightly bit more expensive.

SPEAKER_02

I do find though, I did like that we came home at like seven, I did like that we came home early that day because I'm really enjoying coming home earlier and not being out really late. And I've been struggling.

SPEAKER_01

Start early, yeah, finish early, spangled in the middle, come home. I've been struggling. We're in bed for 14 hours. You and then my aura ring told me that for some reason, Clayton, your your heart rate seemed to be a bit slightly elevated last night. Take it easy today. And I went, no problem, Aura.

SPEAKER_02

You got up and went to the gym.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, I went to the gym. I didn't feel hung I wasn't hungry over one bit. It's barley. I don't it's just in the air. It makes you feel good.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I'm just feeling like a bit down.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Why?

SPEAKER_02

Because like I just don't want to drink every day.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you mean back in the then after no now?

SPEAKER_02

Like, I'm just feeling like ugh.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

I just can't do it. I can't do drinking too much.

SPEAKER_01

Well then don't do it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So what should we do, sweet? So we what's up?

SPEAKER_02

Well, I had a message off someone today actually saying that they're really enjoying the pod, but they feel like it's a bit ADHD heavy. And I I don't know, and I'm I'm not offended by that. And you've also said kind of similar, haven't you? You've said, look, maybe we're talking about ADHD a little bit much, it's not just everything about us. And I get it, but I just wanted to have some segments in there that could involve the people who are listening, so stories and stuff. So we maybe have to come up with a different kind of section or segment that's not I'm so ADHD, but it's more inclusive then of other people. And then we can maybe vote to it could be like they send and we get two to three listeners to send in things that are really, really weird or icks or something, and then we vote to see whether they're good. But it's a work in progress. This is just new for us, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Well, maybe the the segment can still have the same theme. The segment can still have the same sort of theme people can send in and we can talk about some weird, uh, weird and wacky stuff or things that have that may be ADHD related, but it's just more so anything broader.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah. I um I did write something down though for my ADHD thing. Is I'm so ADHD, or it might not be that, it's just I I'm I absolutely thrive off doing something really quickly. So knowing that I have an appointment at 11, like I just had a meeting there at 11 or 10 or whatever time it was, and it I waited until the very last minute to go and have a shower because I just work better off that adrenaline boost of knowing that I've got a time scale to work to. Yeah. And I just I get shit done. So I'll go, all right, okay, I've got a meeting in five minutes. Can I manage to boil an egg, eat it, and put the washing out and potentially stack the dishwasher within this time? And I'll really do everything in my power to get there, and it's great.

SPEAKER_01

That's how your brain works. Yeah, it does yours not do that. Put yourself under the pressure. No, no, no. I just find myself under the pressure. I don't I don't I prefer not to be there.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you are always, yeah. You're just a procrastinator and push your headless chicken.

SPEAKER_01

Put her offer of the hard stuff. Put her offer up, and then the pressure's just the pressure's just always fucking there.

SPEAKER_02

We we were getting ready to go out, and he's going, come on, babe, we need to go. There's always one. And then who were we waiting for in the taxi? You? Oh, I forgot to do my hair, I forgot I'll get my cab, and you'd be like, ah, because you do that all the time because you don't you we we you forget what you need to do. Yeah, I just forget a lot of stuff. Don't you? Oh, so I I do that as well though, babe. Yeah, I do that as well.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I don't have one for this segment because I feel like I've just jumped straight into holiday mode, so I've kind of like didn't get one in time for that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But I do, however, have my PMP for this week.

SPEAKER_02

Hit me.

SPEAKER_01

Now, this is a bit of a reoccur reoccurring theme, and I might have said this on an on a on a previous pod about Sydney, about about you. And it was like, at first it came to light in Bali last year. When I come and saw you for the five days, you were here for two months, came and saw you for five. And now we're here, and we're here for a bit more of an extended period, a bit over a month. Uh. And I need to get this out there so that when this happens, you cannot fly off the handle. Thus, following on from that, get angry at me, thus, fuck up the energy slash fuck up my evening, night, day. Alright? So, directions.

SPEAKER_02

I've got an example.

SPEAKER_01

Examp, example. We Sydney booked the Airbnb for the Airbnb that we're in right now in the villa, and so she had the directions. And there's clear photos of how to get there, like go to this section, go to this section.

SPEAKER_02

Well, they weren't that clear because I didn't get them.

SPEAKER_01

My time. Okay, your time will come next. And and there was this we're driving around like headless chucks, it's 40 fucking degrees. Everyone's we're all getting antsy, we just want to get into the villa. And Cindy's like, it's here. At the bins, it says take a hard right. And we get to the some bins, and we take a hard right and just barbecue the whole trip. And then I later, I said, when we got super lost, I said, show me the directions. There was nothing about bins, nothing about a hard right.

SPEAKER_02

There was.

SPEAKER_01

There wasn't.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, there was. It wasn't to do with bins. It said at yollow, turn a hard right. And that's what we have to do, but it did the wrong yoller.

SPEAKER_01

And then we got to the b and we saw these bins, and I'm like, those bins in you. She's like, Yeah, these ones, these ones, half right, that's what it says. And it was just and it was and it was just wrong.

SPEAKER_02

There was nothing about bins in there.

SPEAKER_01

We were so far wrong.

SPEAKER_02

I know, see, they don't think about bins in there.

SPEAKER_01

This is where I'm going. Just so this part is is about setting setting up a comfortable uh rest of rest of the holiday. Oh, comfortable you. You're gonna you're gonna. No, no, no, that's comfortable. You don't like hearing this stuff. No. Little only little miss only child.

SPEAKER_02

No, do you know what I don't like hearing? You know what you need to do.

SPEAKER_01

You need to say three things. Three words. P and P. And then just bottom line is we got lost. And you were doing the directions. So what I'm saying is. Don't listen to me. And don't argue with me, because you're arguing me again with the directions.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I had something really nice to say, but I'm not saying it anymore because you're a little douchebag. Hello, darling. Hello, darling. Do you know what? Just because I'm due on and I'm just really tired. I'm do on, you're sick of hearing that.

SPEAKER_01

One of your favourite words, I'm do on. Okay. You do on, I'll take that into consideration. Can you flat?

SPEAKER_02

Tired, flat.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Please be nice to me and give me cuddles. Wednesday is my favourite day of the week, and we're on a working holiday. It's hump day. We're probably gonna have a cup of cura cures soon.

SPEAKER_02

Right, of course you are. Do you know what? I need a cup of tea and a Tim Tam. I could go to sleep now, and it's only what time? 11 30 in the morning. I'm happy, I'm chilled over here. You're all tired and flat like a pancake, can you? Oh, I'd love a pancake. What would you like on your pancake? I think I would like chopped-up strawberries, some caramelised bananas, a bit of honey or maple syrup, and a dash of dash, dash, dash of icing and sugar. Oh. And some ice cream.

SPEAKER_01

Sounds like a real bean.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but that's how I live my life. I've I've I've got the I need these dopamine drives, you know, especially at this time in my when I'm due on. I'm just fucking clamming, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

Do we do on.

SPEAKER_02

So I'd actually written that I just wanted to say that I feel really happy with you. I'm very safe, and I feel like if anything's gonna go wrong in the world, it doesn't matter because we've got each other. I really want to expect that pissing me off today.

SPEAKER_01

I did not expect that. That was really lovely. Thank you, sweet.

SPEAKER_02

I just feel like I feel like I uh uh for the first time ever, I don't have to just worry quite so much because you're there with some ideas or something to to help.

SPEAKER_01

I think she wants something, guys, or something. She wants something to say.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's just nice that, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well I feel exactly the same way.

SPEAKER_02

Oh do you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That's nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, one of my Ps though, which was from the other week, is we went to Akira and we were Alkira. Alkira? That little um like Farmstay. Farmstay. And I said to Clayton, he was having his yogurt and granola or whatever he was eating for his bracie, and I said to him, Do you want a slice of toast, baby? He was like, nah, nah, nah, definitely not. Nah, I definitely don't want one. So I was like buzzing. I was like, right, I've got myself two slices, I'm gonna put them in the toaster. I've got found some jam, I've got some butter, I'm gonna have one slice of butter, and then I have one slice with butter and jam, and it's just gonna be pure delirious. And then I popped the toaster up and you went, bye. I can have one. And I just thought, don't tell me you don't want one and ruin my breakfast experience.

SPEAKER_01

This is a bit rich. You women and you in particular are you love it. FOMO.

SPEAKER_02

You love it.

SPEAKER_01

You get food FOMO as well. Every time I have something, you say you don't want it, and then you come picking like a little pelican little.

SPEAKER_02

I don't say I don't want it, I say I do want it, and then I eat it still.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I know, but I knew that it wasn't it was just a little one. And I was just like, I'm not gonna complain, I'm gonna share my slice of toast with him because I'm a really empathetic and compassionate type of person. Just not today.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, okay, yes. That's that's I'm gonna go easy on you and just be nice to me. I'm struck and just agree with you, babe.

SPEAKER_02

A couple of your friends are coming out. You know how we talked about when we went to the wedding and you left your suit and it was the most hilarious thing ever.

SPEAKER_01

The wedding in Adelaide.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that's the only wedding we've talked about on this book. Oh, is it? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, the bride and groom, they're coming over just timingly. We just all timed it. It allows me. Yeah, they're coming. Pretty good.

SPEAKER_02

So we're gonna do some stuff with them, aren't we, this weekend, which is nice, which will be lovely.

SPEAKER_01

They get in tonight, so uh Yes, they do late. Playing golf tomorrow. I'm 7:32.

SPEAKER_02

That'd be nice, like get in. See you later. Off your park.

SPEAKER_01

Wait to be gone for six and a half hours. Get some. Also, this is where people go, this is where boyfriends go or or husbands go wrong with telling their girlfriends about golf. Golf takes four hours, but you've got to allow the hour, the travel there and then the travel back plus the 19th hole one hour.

SPEAKER_02

Are you doing a full round tomorrow? You're gonna be sweating.

SPEAKER_01

What do you mean, a full round? I only ever play full rounds. No such thing as half rounds anymore. When you love it so much. 18 holes is the fucking day.

SPEAKER_02

So you play golf. You can stay plus the 19th. You can stay on the 19th century.

SPEAKER_01

Coming up the 18th, I'll be looking at me going, that guy looks like he wants a couple of cocktails. And I'll be like, I'll be I'll be yelling at him from my approach shot up to the 18th. Get him ready, get him ready.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that'll be nice. You enjoyed. Yeah. I think I'm gonna go because Eloise goes home this weekend, she's got a wedding and stuff that she's at. So I think I'm gonna go get a moped up to Nusadua and spend the the breakfast lunch with her. Yep. I think that'll be nice. I wanted to try and get a massage in as well, but we just can't get one in Friday, so we'll have to get one in Saturday. The massages are elite. You got beaten up the other day during yours, though.

SPEAKER_01

My guy, my guy. You're in agony. My he I got I got the I got the mail, which I wanted, and then he said he's a pressure okay. Pressure, okay, mister. I said harder. And right then I made the error. He went so hard. And I reckon he went over each of my shoulder blades, like here. He went over them 300 times each blade.

SPEAKER_02

With his elbow. With his elbow.

SPEAKER_01

Like he I counted once. He did 40 over one blade.

SPEAKER_02

No, you didn't, you counted. I counted. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01

He just kept snapping over that one thing.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I had that as well. It's painful. And then I reckon he he came back to that and did the same amount three or four times. And then he tickled your thighs. Huh? Then he tickled your thighs, he said. He said? He said he tickled your thighs. He said he would you would go back down, he would tickle the thighs, then he would come straight back.

SPEAKER_01

Like just go down and just do a quick, you know, like a couple.

SPEAKER_02

You're doing you've done well, you've not burnt this time. You look a really nice colour because you were like a beetroot last time you came to see me, and I thought I can't put these photos anywhere.

SPEAKER_01

Wherecause he looks it's PTSD from what you said last time about all the photos in Bali together. You couldn't use any of them because I looked like a beetroot and you look ugly. And I and I went.

SPEAKER_02

No, I would never ever say you looked ugly. That's really horrible. I've just said you looked really ugly.

SPEAKER_01

I had that in there. A bit of medio again. You said You look aged. Aged or haggard.

SPEAKER_02

No, I didn't say haggard.

SPEAKER_01

Pretty sure you said haggard.

SPEAKER_02

I said you looked a bit very red and aged. We'll put a photo up and show people. Because you look about 48 on it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, hey sweets, I'm getting I'm getting quite clammy and sweaty. Me too.

SPEAKER_02

Let's dive in the pool.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, let's dive in the pool. Thanks everyone for listening in too. Yeah, please send us TNTT at the code. TNTT at gmail.com. Catch us on YouTube, Apple Music and Spotify. Like, rate, and subscribe. Email us your Ps.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, email us your P and Ps. And email us just stuff that you think that your fam your your partner or friend or family does that's really weird. And we can kind of rate it out of ten how weird we think it is. Because I think we do some weird old stuff, don't we? Yep.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like putting socks in the washing machine, still in their pa in their pairs. That's right.

SPEAKER_01

That's that's called order. That's how you toes smell. That's law and order.

SPEAKER_02

Stinky bastard. Have a good day. See ya.