Ep11, Bad breath and sticky magazines

We delve into Clayton getting drafted for AFL at 18 and being his little brothers hero... and, Sydney goes to Sydney!

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Oh my god. My ass is on fire. My glutes I've told you. Like someone's just in both and my abs.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Took you to hot Pilates yesterday, didn't that? At at Wild Soul in um Cheltenham. Absolutely phenom.

SPEAKER_05 0:27

It was it was really, really good way to start the weekend. Oh my god. And it was hot. The big heaters. Sauna. The heaters. Yeah, it's like a sauna.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

It is. It's infrared.

SPEAKER_05 0:35

And then I was talking up a big big game and I was like paying you out, and like, this is gonna be easy, and you're you're asking me, is it gonna, you know, how you gonna go? Yeah, then I can't. It's tough. It's really, really hard, but you did a little what do you call them? A pirouette, what do you call it? Where you step behind.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Oh critsy look. And she's a hand. Ham pump. Ham pump. And pump it. That's good, guys! Form's really good! I'm like, form's really good.

SPEAKER_05 0:58

I'm fucked, I I had to stop.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

I don't know. I had to stop.

SPEAKER_05 1:03

I reckon I only completed about 60% 68% of I pulled out of the second half. I stopped doing stuff. I paused for ages. Really? I was pausing, doing pausing. Because I had to save my energy, make sure I could actually You did really well.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Bearing in mind that's the first time you've done Pilates, and it was hot, so it was under a sauna. Like it was a lot, and I thought, shit, we didn't even tell them that it was your first time.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

Ah, who cares? I don't want to draw any more attention to me. I said get us a mat at the back of the room, what'd you do?

SPEAKER_00 1:34

No, you didn't, you little shit. I yelled at it. Oh, did you when you were on the shitter?

SPEAKER_05 1:39

I was on the shitter. I had uh yeah, we had a coffee on the way there, and they're like, You're brave. And I'm like, nah, it's all good, this is gonna be a piece of piss. So I rolled in, went straight to the have a sit down, you're yelling out to me, you're in locker two. And I'm then I yelled back, get us up the back of the room. Oh, I didn't hear that. Already gone.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Well, well, we wanted to be together. You didn't want us to go.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

Nothing but females in there. I asked Sydney, I go, is there gonna be any dudes? Okay, they're just yeah, all the time. Dudes in the clasp, not one. 25 chicks and just Tato.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Sometimes there are, and you know, this morning, where did I go?

SPEAKER_05 2:07

There again. Yeah, you're a psychopath. I've been in pain, literally. I'm not I'm not talking more when you're there. I'm not talking shy, my abs are hurting, which is good because they're all the stuff that I don't do when I train by myself.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Well, you know how I was going to remedial when I was in Bali? She said to me, she was like, There's a difference gita, there's a difference between going to the gym and doing compound hard heavy weights and like connecting with your bigger muscles. It's like Pilates are all about the intricate smaller muscles, so your butt cheek will be killing and your abs because abs is a lot.

SPEAKER_05 2:47

Groin, roaring I'll need a week. We'll need a week.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Anyway.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

Before I go back.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Hello, sweets.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

Hello, my sweets.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Hello, darling.

SPEAKER_05 2:58

How are you?

SPEAKER_00 2:58

I'm good, honey.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

You're good?

SPEAKER_00 3:00

I'm just glad to be home.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

Yeah, it's just unreal, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Although we've both been very fresh air. We've both been very sniffly, haven't we?

SPEAKER_05 3:08

What's going on? It's the plane flight or the fact that for nearly five weeks straight we slept under an air con and we're just getting it, flushing it out of our system. Feel like there's a cold. We've both got a little cold maybe coming on, but I reckon it'll put it'll pass.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yeah, well, we've been back for five, six days now, haven't we? And we're going straight off to bloody Sydney. But let's start off with P and Ps. Go on. You give it you, you, you commence. Y'all commence.

SPEAKER_08 3:34

You this this one, you it's a bit grotty.

SPEAKER_05 3:37

I'm not sure if you're gonna appreciate it. You love Sydney loves the smell of her own bad breath.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Fantastic.

SPEAKER_05 3:46

Like you, and you do this thing where you almost dislike you like this. You dislodge, you do, you go, you dislodge your bottom jaw. Scoot jaw. Scoot jaw? So it's her bottom lip for just listeners and no one, no, no one with the visuals here. She like puts out her bottom lip jaw, and as she exhales the bad breath, she inhales with her nose. You look like a hippopotamus, hippopotamus smelling his own bad breath, and mate, I kind of get it, because we all everyone listening will will agree that you know when you're in the car and you do a little little pop-off or everyone loves the smell of their own scent.

SPEAKER_08 4:25

Yeah, everyone of their own scent.

SPEAKER_05 4:27

Everyone's got every and if anyone says otherwise, they're fucking lying. Everyone loves the smell of their own scent.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

It's not that I just love my bad breath, I do it all the time. So like I've just done it then, it smells like salt and vinegar crisps. It's fantastic.

SPEAKER_05 4:39

Oh, okay. So it's not just a bad breathy thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

No, but I do like I do like break.

SPEAKER_05 4:42

Oh no, there it is. Anyway, that is mine. That is mine.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

I've actually got a couple and I don't know what to start with, but honestly, like no, I'm gonna just do one today, right? Yes, honestly, this boy, you'd think, did he ever go to school? Because like, or was he listening in class?

SPEAKER_05 5:01

Because he wasn't listening, no, not so sure.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Daydreaming. You're one of them that is just daydreaming the teacher's chucking stuff off you to say, Clayton, Clayton, anybody there? Honestly, yesterday he sat getting his hair clippered, right? And he was like, Clayton, he was like, wait for me, because I want to have a little bit of a walk. And I was like, all right then, so I sat there and he's banging on about the bloody AF, the footy, and how it's the Euros, and basically the Euros, they're shooting the pubs. They yeah, they're keep sorry, the the World Cup, they're keeping the pubs open all night pretty much because it doesn't play and they don't uh Australia don't play till 4am. Oh Christ, he's going to the man 4am Saturday morning. So is that this morning or tomorrow morning? And I was like, Oh 4am Saturday morning is Saturday morning. It's Saturday after midnight, and it's Saturday until the next midnight. How do you not know you're 24 o'clock?

SPEAKER_05 5:56

He's like, the dyslexia kicks in because when I read it in the paper or heard it from someone, it said Saturday 4am. So I'm thinking I automatically go to Saturday night. Oh, it's Saturday night. People at the pubs are gonna be pumping because they're allowed to legally stay open and trade all the time.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

How would you automatically go to Saturday night when someone says Saturday 4am?

SPEAKER_05 6:13

And then I remember I started stuttering and I said, So that's Sunday. And he's like, No, no, no, it played last night. Friday. I'm like, what? Fucking hell! I'm like, mate, what just put my back out?

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

There's that back again.

SPEAKER_07 6:25

Oh Jesus. That back.

SPEAKER_05 6:27

Oh, me back. But anyway, we've jumped between Friday, Saturday, and Sunday about this fucking World Cup pub staying open.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

I just looked at you in the chair getting your hair clipped, and I thought, oh bless his little cod socks.

SPEAKER_05 6:39

Just struggling.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

He's struggling now there. I think we should just.

SPEAKER_05 6:42

Well, I love a chat. I love chatting to the barbers. It's one of my favourite things. And it's why I keep going back to that fella, because he's just got good crack.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

We like people who have good crack, don't we? Oh, we do.

SPEAKER_05 6:52

It's a bit of bad.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

So we did a couple of funny videos actually while we were away, didn't we? And we just done a video about the things that we missed when we were um away and that things that you take for granted for. But I'm in I I was ready to come home and I'm enjoying being back home. Like it's been lovely, hasn't it?

SPEAKER_05 7:08

Oh, because we had a lovely, it was a significant break.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

Yeah, we did everything we needed to do there.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Nice to have our own bed. Nice to be able to put the toilet paper down the toilet. I keep I kept going to put the toilet paper in the bin.

SPEAKER_05 7:20

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

And we said, Oh god, I went for dinner with the girls on s on uh Thursday. And Vic, who was obviously with us in Bali, went, What do you mean? You keep you keep going to go and put the toilet paper down the uh in the bin. And I was like, Well, in Bali, you have to put it in the bin.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

She went, Do you? Oh, she didn't know. No, and I was like, You've been there for a week.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

How didn't you know? You've been there four times. It says it on all the back of the doors.

SPEAKER_05 7:43

I'll tell you, yeah, I'll tell you what I did actually caught myself yesterday. You know how we got a drink bottles to sleep or so. Well, I went to sip out of it whilst I was brushing my teeth. I'm like, the whole tap's there. I can just use the tap now. I'm starting to go, I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:55

No longer out of the hotel glass bottles, you know, the kids filling them up, brushing your teeth, trickling it. I went to trickle it, that's what I went to do. Trickle it on your teeth. I went to trickle it over my toothbrush.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

I'm like, oh the hell. Isn't it funny how like even after a month your body just recognises habits and it just does it automatically? Yeah. And it it made me think, like when I was there, I thought, well, there's loads of habits that I want to stack that are positive things. Maybe it won't take as long as what I actually think to be able to stack them. So yeah, it just made me laugh. But since we've been getting back, I'm pretty much, you know, an Uber for you.

SPEAKER_05 8:29

Yeah, I know, yeah. So yeah, my I'm licenseless as of yeah, now no license back on the scooter.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Oh, bless you. You love it.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

I love this, I love the scooter though. You know, I love scootering around, but obviously I prefer to have my license. And I love that you're just driving me around lovingly and openly and willingly. And yeah, it's just great.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

It's great for me because I just get a brand new car, my Apple Play, to go through because my my Tig one has got a little speaker in there and I've got to connect my phone to it.

SPEAKER_05 8:58

She Sydney's like, just get it fixed. A workaround of her Apple car Apple CarPlay not connecting is I'll take my big JBL speaker and sit it up underneath the windscreen and just Bluetooth to that.

SPEAKER_06 9:09

She's pumping juice of her JPL speaker.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

I don't mind that, I like it. Um, yeah, so it's nice to have a little car that I get in and it automatically plays my um my music. I'm absolutely loving life and I don't mind dropping you off along the way a couple of times. But yeah, it's a we've only been back for a week and we're going to Sydney, aren't we? So we're we need to get packed today. It's Sunday. We're recording this.

SPEAKER_05 9:34

What are we off to Sydney for?

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Just an FYI. We've decided we're gonna just record every two weeks and put out a podcast every two weeks because it's if you guys are alright with that because it's just hot it's quite a lot to fit in, isn't it? And download and send it, and yeah, so we were just like, we're gonna do it two weeks, and if things, you know, become a little bit easier to do it every week, then we'll do that. But yeah, going to Sydney, and I guess we can get on to that a little bit a bit later on when we've when we're finishing up about why we're going to Sydney. But yeah, so I um had a couple of hypnobirth, well, I had quite a few Hypnobirthon sessions this week, and I've got a Hypnobirthen session introduction to Hypnobirthon tonight. But one of my clients who I actually went to a house, which is lovely. Oh, I didn't tell you this. One of my clients who I went to a house, so nice when you can go and meet them face to face. It was like an hour's trip, but it was fine. And um that's normal in in Australia. And her hubby plays for plays AFL, footy, you call it out here.

SPEAKER_05 10:33

Apparently, still plays, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

You know that guy that I told you about.

SPEAKER_05 10:36

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He still plays, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm with you now.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

So they have a pi a big picture of a harvester, and oh, I think I did tell you. And um Oh, you did tell me about the farm.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

He loves farm, he loves farming.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

He loves farming, and obviously you used to play AFL and he wants a farm, and his parents live on a farm. Yeah, and yeah, and it just got me, you know, when we came back and we started talking, like it just got me. I was chatting to him about the fact that you used to play AFL, and obviously we've talked about it a little bit, but quite a few people have asked me like questions about AFL, because our Australian listeners, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

They want to know. Yeah, they want to know. What do they want to know? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Well, should we talk about the fact that you call it footy?

SPEAKER_05 11:18

Football, yeah. Bizarre. Because here it is football to us. Us Aussies, it's football. You're talking about the soccer versus football here?

SPEAKER_04 11:26

Yeah. What?

SPEAKER_05 11:27

Yeah, well, it's we've got we don't soccer's uh AFL's our number one code here. Sport sporting code. What does that mean? Well, it's the most popular code of code of sport.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

I've never heard that.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

So like AFL's the most popular, so like you know, basketball and tennis and. Yeah, okay, well, yeah, so it's the most popular, so everyone refers to it as football, AFL football. So that's 40 to us. But obviously, where it's more predominant overseas and with you guys, yeah, you don't have um Australian rules. You just have soccer. But obviously we still play soccer here, but I yeah, the old soccer 40 debate gets a bit confusing. It does confuse it, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Confused.

SPEAKER_05 12:08

Confused.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Um But you used to play.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

But I used to play, yeah. What so what did you want to know? You want to know Well, I don't want to know, but I know.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Well, I mean, maybe there's things that you haven't told me. Yeah. When did you start playing AFL?

SPEAKER_05 12:22

Uh when I was 18.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

So Well, you didn't play before then at school.

SPEAKER_05 12:26

Oh, well, we played, sorry, when I got drafted. I got drafted when I was 18, but I've been playing ever since I was yeah, as young as I as long as I can remember. Did you really play? Like five, about five or six, five or six years old, I think I started playing footy, like in little little like little league, little Oz kick, and then just continued up through into under twelves, and then it goes to under fifteens and then under under seventeen, under eighteens, and then that's when I got drafted. So it's been like a whole yeah. I have not there was not a period of years where I didn't play footy from like five through to when I retired three years ago. So I've I'm retired now, I haven't played a game of footy in three years.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Oh, is that such?

SPEAKER_05 13:05

Happily retired. No, no, no, I was ready.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

Well yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:08

There comes a point in every footballer's life where we call it putting our head over the footy. So like when you see a ball there and you just like you're meant to go in real hard and just put your head over it, and all bodies can come at you, and it's like a bit risky, like you might get your head taken off and get crunched. And yeah, when you when that desire kind of like just leads you a little bit, you're like, you know what, I'd rather just head up to the rooms and have a beer and come and hit the showers and slap some ass, and you know, slap some arse, mean slap some ass in the showers, because the communal showers that's the best part about playing footy. Shower beers, in the showers. Obviously, got the communal showers, no walls between us, so everyone's just shouting.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Yeah, we've got our wangs out. No way. Or wangs out and arse out, and you didn't. We call it slapping ass in the shower. I thought you meant women's ass. Well done, boys. No, no, no, men.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

One thing that I noticed when I moved into here was you always had a couple of straggled cans in the bin, in your bathroom.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

A couple of what? Stradler.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Straggle, like a couple of cans. And I was like, why have you got beer cans in your bathroom your ensuite? And you were like, shower, shower, shower beers, shower beers.

SPEAKER_04 14:12

I the goat, the best ever. I think you're doing it now, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

No, no.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

I don't drink beers for a stock.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

No. Little chabling in the shower. No.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

But you pr so you played for Frio, Fremantle, which is Perth.

SPEAKER_05 14:27

Oh, way over in Western Australia, yep. I was drafted uh in 2008. God, I to the end of 2007. So 2008 was my first playing season, and I was there, yeah. So when you get the call, obviously the draft happens, you don't know where you're gonna go. So I think I went pick 24. I think there's like 80 picks. I should know these questions, but yeah, and then shipped off the very next day straight on a plane.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

I bet that's hard though, because you live four hours away from Melbourne airport already, and then you've got to get a flight for four hours to Perth. Because people think that Australia, oh, it's easy to get an in-house, like a in um uh a flight from Melbourne to Perth, but it's expensive and it's also quite far. Four hours is pretty far. We can get to Spain and two from England.

SPEAKER_05 15:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

So if you've been on a farm all your life.

SPEAKER_05 15:17

It's a big, we're a big, we're we're a big island, aren't we?

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, it's massive.

SPEAKER_05 15:21

Compared to the islands in Bali we were just on. Lombok, screwed it from one side to the other.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah, but what so so when you moved?

SPEAKER_05 15:28

So yeah, straight on a plane the next day, and it was a big it was a very big shock, yeah. I think dad cried actually, and everyone was crying because it was such a big shift because they understore the gr enormity of it. Like I was only 18 and I was like, fuck yes, let's fucking go. It was a business class ticket the next morning, booked, boom. And yeah, so I'm like felt like a rock star the very next morning. And even in that in that draft, actually, one of my heroes, because I I grew up barracking for Essidon Football Club, and one of my heroes that played on that team actually got traded to got traded to Frio at the same time, was and met me at the airport and was there in flesh, and I'm like, he's one of my heroes, you know, a guy that I looked up to and watched my whole life, has just been traded to Fremantle from Essendon, which is my my current my team. And there was only and I remember they had a uh a Frio staff, like a sho a chaperone, a chaperone, to take to c take us over and organise the flights and everything. So they met us at the airport in the lounge, and um they only got two business class tickets and one um economy. And he was nearly gonna put he was nearly gonna put um this guy up the back and he would fly with me because I was the young recruit and went a bit you know quite a little bit high in the draft, and he was just a yeah, so and he's like, you know what, you two travel. So he gave me and this other player that I looked up to the two business class tickets at the same time, and he was so cool. He had a guitar, like an acoustic guitar with him, he had his surfboard, he was ready to move to birth. Yeah, and I was just thinking, this is just the best ever. Oh and then we both sat up the front, like in the two little chairs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Were you n were you really nervous when you got there?

SPEAKER_05 17:05

Mark Johnson was his name. Yeah, but you're pretty confident, like you're a young, you know, you don't. Naive is a beautiful thing in that sense. Yeah, you're so naive. Yeah, like now thinking about it, yeah, absolutely should have been. But and yeah, you are nervous a bit, but you're also a quick turnaround. You're full of confidence, you're full of youth. The world hasn't beaten you down yet. But the AFL system's very hard, so it quite quickly comes at you.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah, and then it was just the best ever.

SPEAKER_05 17:31

I didn't care that I was on the other side of the country. Um, but it was. It's it's a whole day commute to get home with all the airport transfers, and then our drive back to the family farm is four hours to see all my friends and family back there. Yeah, but it was unreal. Yeah, I still remember my first game as well. There was another one of my idols in in the team huddle, and I got picked to play. We're playing Adelaide, and I got my first game about four rounds in, and it was uh versus the Adelaide Crows in Adelaide, in Adelaide uh stadium there. And in the team huddle, and they started me on, so I started on the ground, which is you normally start on the bench, probably, and just ease your way into the game. And I'm starting on, and we're in the in the circle, just the players, all the coaches and everyone had left, and it's just in the middle of the oval. And one and Dean Solomon was just giving this rev up speech, and and he also played uh one of my heroes growing up, and he was traded as well. Not the one on the plane, but another one who was already there, and he goes, We've got and he said my name, and I'm like, this is such a surreal moment he was like, and we've got our young boys and we've got to fucking protect him. And there's another another younger kid, um, 18-year-old, get uh I was debuting, sorry, obviously. And then there was another one who already played his second game.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

He's like, We've got to protect Reese and we've got to protect Hanks, let's get him the footy, let's fucking I'm like, holy shit, this is fucking un.

SPEAKER_05 18:45

I'm I'm at this point, I'm like levitating. Yeah. I and that whole game, that game went so fast.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Yeah, I didn't nothing, nothing, nothing, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:53

The whole game.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

How long was that?

SPEAKER_05 18:55

Two hours. It's two hours.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Jesus, that's so long compared to soccer.

SPEAKER_05 18:59

With three breaks, yeah, but the game went so fast, no, no, nothing hurt. I wasn't intimidated. Yeah. My first kick was a my first kick of the football was a goal.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

That is sick, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 19:10

Yeah, it's sick.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

I couldn't remember what that was called because I was talking to my client's husband and I was like, what's it called?

SPEAKER_05 19:16

First kick.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Is it just called a first kick?

SPEAKER_05 19:18

Oh, just my first touch in AFL was awarded. I marked it, or whatever that didn't win an award. No, right. You just joined a you joined a group. There's actually many people before me that have not many. I think there's about 50 or 100 or something with their first touch in AFL as a kick and it's a goal. It's uh it's uh like just a group, it's not an actual group.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

But what's it called?

SPEAKER_05 19:39

I don't know if it's called anything so you said you said like I just called it an illustrious group, but it's not really.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

There's a bunch of a well he was like, what are you on about?

SPEAKER_05 19:48

Anyway, that was and that was and that was all that's what the photo was. I did it as a gag. I got I went through the AFL sent me something, and I then I went on and I printed off that big thing, and that's where the boys, um my captain and that was celebrating with me after my first kick. And that's that big photo that I gave. We'll get some photos. You didn't realise until after you just saw it was me just playing random footy. Yeah. But it's my that's the whole story. It was against Adelaide Groves in Adelaide, round four, 2008, first kick goal.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

That's class.

SPEAKER_05 20:14

Unreal.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Get in.

SPEAKER_05 20:15

We lost that game. That's okay. Um, but it was still I had like 12 to 15 of my family there and extensions. Did you? How did they know that everyone came in the rooms after it?

SPEAKER_00 20:24

How did they know that you were gonna play that game?

SPEAKER_05 20:26

Well, we get picked during the week. Yeah, obviously you know, you know, you gotta flip. We flew in, babe. It's you fly in the day before or a couple of days before. So you get picked on the Wednesday. So you go into your team meeting, they're like, it's teams at selection day on Wednesday. You play on Saturday, call it typically on the weekend. And so you go in on Wednesday to the team meeting, and the coaches all sit down, everyone's like, fuck, hoping to get picked. And then they read out the team, and you're like, and yeah, we've got a debutant this weekend. Clayton, you're up, brother. Congratulations, everyone's.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

Oh, so then you're like Yeah! Parents, everyone.

SPEAKER_05 20:57

And then so then you ring your parents on the Wednesday night, guess what? We're on. And they're like, Did your sister go? So they're like, let's book our tickets or baby.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Did Dale go?

SPEAKER_05 21:05

I think everyone was there. Yeah, yeah, Dale would have definitely been there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

It's so good for him because he's so much younger. I must have been like 11, you brother, younger brother.

SPEAKER_05 21:12

Yeah, he there are so many stories because Dale is super young, still going through school. Like, how many years younger than me? Whatever he is, six years younger.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Easy and the rest.

SPEAKER_05 21:24

And so when I was 18, 19, he's only like sort of that 11, 12-ish age. So yeah, he he was there's a bit of a running joke in our family that he looks up, he used to look up to me like like I was his hero.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:35

My big brother plays AFL, my big brother.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Didn't you take him a magazine bag with tits tits?

SPEAKER_04 21:42

I thought you wanted that.

SPEAKER_07 21:43

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Sticky magazine.

SPEAKER_05 21:47

No, there's a story to that. Back in the day, I used to, she's not my it wasn't my girlfriend, but it was a girl that I was seeing slash dating. Was Chagan. Chagan. She was uh, what do you call it? F H M. She was a A ma a model, like a but a bit of a risque one.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

You wouldn't you wouldn't take a hopeful.

SPEAKER_05 22:09

But she was a zoo on nuts. Yeah, yeah, zoo. Cover of zoo magazine type setup. Monster energy type girl setup.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

And you took it back for your brother to see it.

SPEAKER_05 22:19

Anyway, so she was on this magazine whilst I was dating her. I knew she was doing this shooting, and so she's got to give me a copy of it. And I'm so I've got a couple copies. I'm like, Dale, little Dale's gonna love this. When Noel's around, I just slipped it out of my bag and I'm like, Dale, he oh, here's some frio jumpers, and also here's this magazine. I'm shagging this bird at the moment.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

She loved it.

SPEAKER_07 22:39

I didn't say shag, I just said like I'm seeing this girl at the moment. Obviously, old enough to be like, oh yeah, gosh, cool. And then it quite quickly turned into a sticky magazine, I think.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Oh probably still got it.

SPEAKER_07 22:50

Holly's wife now will be losing it. Listeners.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Oh, I've been loving the dating stories that people have been sent in. Anyway, thanks for sharing that. I really enjoyed that. It was so lovely. Such a like nice thing to be able to do something that you've looked up to for such a long time and then actually go out and do it. It's like so nice to tell your kids about it that you've got the memories with the photos.

SPEAKER_05 23:09

Legitimately is a child was my childhood dream the whole way through because we've had family friends, um, their sons and stuff, like um that I've looked up to that um gone and got drafted before. So they you know you know that it's achievable, but you've got to work hard and it's I was saying this to you, it's really a reflection of your parents. Just they did everything for me and took me to all the sports and all these running academies and things to make you make you better and more skillful and hand on all this stuff. You're just really a product of your of your family and your environment as well.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Well, yeah, thanks for people sending in the dating stories. Please send us in some more funny ones because have we got other things?

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Yeah, I've got a few.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

So if you've got any to send, send them to me on Instagram and just write like dating story or podcast or something, or please email T as in a drink of tea, and tt at gmail.com. Okay, so someone called Louise messaged me and said, Well, well, well, this is a story that's gone down in history with my pals. Picture the scene. I was single after a messy divorce, he cheated, and I'm getting back on the dating scene. Good girl. I met this guy on Match.com, and after a do you know Match.com by the way? Nah. Oh, it must be like an English thing. It's not all like It's just a website, it's a website. It's a dating website. It's like not like Tinder where you're swiping, you pay like a subscription each month, and it's like you have a proper profile.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

And it's more like the older generation would use the dating.

SPEAKER_05 24:38

I was gonna say, have you ever used that platform? No. This is for the older generation, is it?

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Not older, but like divorcees or who've got kids or who are more serious than just oh, let's have a little swipe on a Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 24:48

Um swipe on a Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

I meet this guy on match.com and after a few weeks, chat- I'm not by the way, Louise, I'm not saying that you're middle-aged or old, but yes. No, of course we're not. Chatting, we arranged to meet in Leeds, flick to the date, I get ready, I head to Leeds. I'm an hour early, and I was so nervous. I decided to have a wine on the train um at the train station pub whilst waiting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Settler, we love them.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Which turns into four on an empty stomach. Oh. You can see where this is going. Oh. I called my friend and she was saying, drink water, Lou. You need to. Don't up pissed. Oh, you don't you can't turn up fissed. You can't turn up pissed. Yeah. So I downed a pint of water. I missed this guy out. I meet this guy outside, bar and grill in Leeds, and I'm dressed in a little black dress and heels. We proceed inside, and after a few drinks, which just topped me up, I realised we somehow had made our way to a corner of the bar. I said, Oh, how did we get here? And he said, Well, um, you were being a little bit loud, so I just kind of shimmied us into the corner. So I was mortified. I proceeded to look to say, look, I think I need to head home. So he agreed and walked back to the train station. It was absolutely pissing it down. Oh my god, there we are, trotting back, and we hit a busy central crossing in the middle of Leeds, and all of a sudden I'm on the floor. My dress flew up over my head, which revealed my massive spanks. My hair splattered across my face, and I jump up like bloody lightning bolt mud running down my head, elbow, and knees with muddy rainwater running down my face and screamed, I'm fine, I'm fine. I proceeded to run to the station and say, Just go, just go. Um I get on the train and I'm so upset. A lady was like, Are you okay? Do I need to call the police? She thought I'd been attacked attacked.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Oh yeah, she would. She would.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

There were cuts and blood and bruises everywhere. I proceeded to say, I'm fine. What the actual hell? Then received a text off the date that said, Have you dried out yet? Never text again. The shame.

SPEAKER_05 26:51

When she jumped on that train, it would have looked like she was running from something dangerous, but she was really just running from her own.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Have you ever had you ever been and had a date where you're like, I need to get out of this right now? Anything, anyone, to get me out of this. You have. Have you? I have.

SPEAKER_05 27:08

It was the worst. Really? And speaking of going on the eve of going to Sydney tomorrow, it was a it was a girl in Sydney. And this is what happened. I flew there, and I think you told me a story where she went for a prolonged period of time. This was a three-day, three-night one. So I was stuck there after the first day. What are we doing when we do that? It's not desperation, it's just I can handle it. Impulsive. I'm confident in my own ability. I can hold good conversations. Breakfast, yep, coffee time, yeah. Easy. I don't need drinks just to, you know, you know.

SPEAKER_08 27:46

So I thought it would be good, but this chick. First date. She was insecure. Yeah, first day, she was insecure about it. Should we go into detail?

SPEAKER_05 27:56

Anyway, we we got arguing about something on this walk. About how she was insecure about our boobs. And she was and that that I didn't like, you know, whatever, paying enough attention or something or something.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Well, you weren't sucking the titties enough.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

Yeah, so then and so then she like flipped it on me and started having a go at like what was wrong with me, and then and then started talking about like in in the bed, in the bedroom, like you know, a bit this and that and the other. And I'm like, what that and it was such a and we we got into it, we actually got into a full-blown argument. That and that made a trigger with her to just like be a bit colder off, and I'm just like, I'm not having this. That's all right. Then I remember we went to dinner that night, and a helicopter flew over at dinner, and she just wasn't talking, and I'm like, fuck this, I'm not fucking talking. And it was just so awkward. It was so awkward because we just got ready at a house, yeah, with one girlfriend, tiny at tiny city shit apartment, and we went out for dinner, and I remember this helicopter went over, and I went, Oh fuck, if that helicopter just dropped down a ladder and I could just fucking just climb, I would fuck off right now. That's exactly what crosswinds.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

I didn't just get a tra a plane at home.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

I started, yeah, I went down to a cafe and started trying to book flight time, but.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

And did you? Did you go home?

SPEAKER_05 29:08

No, I didn't, I sat it out.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

And did you see her again?

SPEAKER_05 29:11

Negative.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

Oh, you didn't?

SPEAKER_05 29:12

Yeah. Negative. That's so awkward. I just wanted to just get the hell out of there.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

That's her projecting her insecurities by saying the boob thing, isn't it? Yeah. And then being like, you should you should do that and causing an argument. Oh, that's so awkward. Oh, it was so awkward. Oh, it was the worst.

SPEAKER_05 29:29

It probably didn't sound as bad as it was. It was shocking. I wanted to just get on, just get a just go invincible and just back to my house.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

And you know what I used to do, actually, which I've just which has just jogged to memory. When I when it was COVID and we could only really meet outside, it gave me the perfect opportunity to not have to pay for taxis, to not have to do my makeup into the city, to not like you know, to not have to really make an effort to go on a date. I would like to not make an effort.

SPEAKER_05 29:56

I gave you an out.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Oh, yeah, so be a lazy date. Yeah, so I would go, let's go for a walk. And what I would do is if I didn't like them, I'd say I'm cold after about 10-15 minutes, and I'd just divert and turn back. So I did that quite a few times.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Quite a few times, did you? It was quite a little active little.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Oh I had a cut a couple of dates, you know, now and again when it took my fancy. Um, but yeah, so sometimes the walk would be really prolonged, and we get up the hill, and we get down the hill, and sometimes I'd get to the first fucking lamppost and I'd go, fuck, I'm freezing.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

God, I'm starving.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

God, I'm freezing. I'm gonna have to just toddl off home. Anyway, someone else messaged in which said she wanted to be anonymous.

SPEAKER_05 30:35

You would have been a brutal shutdown. Like, uh if I took you on a date and you didn't like me, Jesus, yeah, I would be scared of the ramification.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

No, you know what?

SPEAKER_05 30:43

I'm actually I reckon you just crush little boy little men's hearts, little boys' hearts.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

But you know what I'm like? I'm so I get so empathetic towards people. I would just see them again because I felt bad. Oh then I would get yeah, that's what often happens. But I would never ghost because I don't like ghosts, I don't think ghostings but I got that all wrong, didn't I? Yeah, I but like I guess I I I was very different then though. I was much more of an anxious attachment and much more secure now. So now I'm like, you know, and now I am like in the last couple of years with my dating, that's different. I'm like, you are a dick, see you later. Yeah, you know. So this lady, she was met this guy, went on the first date, and the second date, he said, Oh, I've got a hot tub. Do you want to come round and we'll have some drinks and food and stuff?

SPEAKER_04 31:24

Oh, hot tub time machine, baby. Take it back, you have a hot tub here.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

I know have a hot tub in the back. Never used. Never used.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

Um so so I got to his, we went in the hot tub, and when we were getting out, I was walking ahead of him and he heard a huge cra huge crash and thought I spilt my drink, but I said nothing, and he thought, well, she's rude, and even called out and was like, Emma, or whatever her name was, um, have you spilt your drink? Comes round the corner to find me completely unconscious on the floor. Turns out I passed out due to having a big temp change from hot to cold. Um needless to say, I ended up staying the night. I was too unwell to drive home. Shock uh shock and never saw him again.

SPEAKER_05 32:10

Oh god, oh dear, that is not ideal. She didn't knock herself up the heat temp and then slide into the hot tub and drown herself.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

Oh no, well that happened.

SPEAKER_05 32:18

He would have had some, he would no doubt he would have had some little bit of Chrissy Brown just playing, you know, the music. He would have had a couple of drinks. He he could have been gone for she would have drowned. I actually glad to say she's like a she's okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

All these years on, she's alright.

SPEAKER_05 32:32

Honestly, honest, my brain goes straight to the most dramatic, dangerous thing that could have happened.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

And then I hadn't one more, which is really short and sweet, from Hannah, and it said, meant to go on a date, found out later he was in a prison cell.

SPEAKER_05 32:46

She connected up with someone that's in that's that's incarcerated.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:49

Great, brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Not ideal in this latest. How?

SPEAKER_05 32:53

Hang on, how does the com how do they even make a connection if he's in the phone? Because he's gonna burn a phone. Burn a phone.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

No, someone knew him. There was a there was another part to it, but someone knew um knew him and was like, yeah, he's in prison for like drugs or something like that. Not ideal, was it? Bag. Um, yeah, thanks everyone for sending those in. Thanks, everyone. I really enjoy them. Please, please. We do enjoy them.

SPEAKER_05 33:14

They're getting they're getting good.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Yeah. I've got I've got a couple more that I'll say for next time, but um yeah, so please send some in. Um so yeah, we're going to Sydney tomorrow. I'm getting my boobs done. Discussed it a couple of weeks ago.

SPEAKER_05 33:28

I know it's yeah, we brought it up on the last pod or a couple of weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

It's funny because we've talked loads about, and now you're saying about the insecure about that woman. I bet people message me and go, is he making you get your boobs done?

SPEAKER_05 33:38

Ah, let's stare that out. I have nothing to do with this.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Yeah, he is. Honestly, if he's made he doesn't touch them during sex, and he I've told him, will you keep touching my boobies?

SPEAKER_08 33:49

Well, what did I say the other day? And that was with genuinity.

SPEAKER_05 33:53

I had grabbed the grabbed the boobies and said, I'm just gonna enjoy this because they're gonna they're gonna change. And you went, Oh fucking piss off, you can't wait. Yeah. Or something like that. I was like, don't be so insincere, insincere.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

That's it's because, yeah, like when I'm in the shower, because I just walk around naked all the time, don't I? Nicky Nicki. When I'm when I was putting my creams on, lavhering myself up, trying to keep all of my tan, you were like, I'm not gonna be able to do this for a while. I was like, no, you can't, probably not for a good few months, really, because they're gonna be tight like a tiger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:25

Is it gonna be odds? I think the recovery will be a lot better than what you think.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Oh, I'm not I'm not concerned. Like, I'm I'm happy, I I know I'm gonna recover well. I'm I'm from I'm healthy and fit. Yeah, I'm I'm not concerned about recovery at all, but No, I just reckon the time, but maybe what would I know? I'm not gonna be able to do that for a while, but I'm gonna be able to walk around and do stuff. Not you slapping them about and that. I can never say that I'd slap them a bit. Um the slap them a bit. I have been I've got um an ADHD um life coach called Tara who lives in Sydney, who I'm gonna meet up with actually yeah, who's fantastic, and she's given me loads of good tips because in Bali I was really struggling with overwhelm, and I really wanted to have like three or four days where I just didn't go on my phone, but I was unable to get out of my head. And I've put on my stories recently that I was listening to The Secret again and really trying to use positive words and terminology and say positive things to myself and reframe things because often I can say negative things to myself. And uh one thing that I've been a bit nervous about, and I guess I'm actually really grateful that I don't have a job where I have to work long hours when I'm having my boobs done, I don't just get two weeks off work and I've got to go back to work again. I'm grateful that I have a job where I can just park it.

SPEAKER_05 35:39

However, I'm self-employed, and I so I'm putting out that's a fucking grind, and that's gonna probably weigh on your mind a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

It is. So I had a meeting this week when I got back from Bali, and Tora was like, okay, so normally we decide that you do three things a day. You set yourself a goal of three things because sometimes my ADHD can run wild, and I'll have like a fucking list as long as my arm, 25 different lists, and I'll never get any of them done, and then I get overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

So she's suggested that I do a list list of three, and on the days where I'm not feeling great, I manage to do the three, and on the days where I'm feeling brilliant, I manage to do another three, but only ever give myself three main tasks. Yes. And she's got this thing called the Eisenhower Matrix, or she'd suggested it, and it's where you do you have a list and you put do now, book it, as in book it and for another day, hand it off, so give it to someone else, or park it, it doesn't need to be done, okay? So it's not a definite. So she suggested over the next few weeks, especially the first week, I don't work at all. So I'm sending when she's great, which I'm like panicking a little bit about, but it'll be fine. And then after that, she said, okay, let's just stick to the do now and hand it off. So on the second week of recovery, you'll have a cup one thing in there that is I need to do this today because it's an emergency, but the rest you're gonna have hand it off or not do it. So it's nice to have a bit of a plan in place, yeah. Because I've been having a slight bit of a worry, you know, yeah, and a bit of internal overwhelm and shit, shit, shit. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:12

Because uh that's only probably heightened a little bit because you're in such a beer, busy part period of of your of your business. Yeah, you're in a really busy period. Yeah, it'll get a little bit, you know, I know you know this, but it'll get a lot easier once you get into a beat. It's all coming at once, but it's all very exciting.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

So it's good. So we're going for a whole week. We're staying in Tamarama.

SPEAKER_05 37:30

Tamarama Beach, guys.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:32

Unreal. We're gonna get involved, get a little active wear on for the first part of the week, aren't we? Leading up to the leading up to the D-Day, the op day.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:40

The knife comes out on Thursday, doesn't it? So we've got the scrolls.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Getting scalpeled, yeah, on the thizzed.

SPEAKER_05 37:45

You're getting skilled.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

I'm gonna document it because something that I found really helpful is seeing people's before and afters or their breasts in bras or what they're doing. So I thought I'd do a little bit of a video of what I've been doing, like the clothes that I'm gonna be wearing, how I feel each day. You'll be recording and videoing how I am after recovery and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 38:02

Cameraman.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

Cameraman over there.

unknown 38:04

So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:04

That's in the business. That'll be good. That'll be very educational for anyone else who's thinking about getting the boobs done.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

The boobs done, yeah. And I've wanted to do it for a long time, and a lot of people have said, Why are you getting it done before you have a baby? And I'm like, Well, we're probably not gonna have it. We want to do stuff before we have a baby.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

We do. So we want to do stuff for us. For us.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

And I want to have nice boobs. And you can still have you can you can have it all. We can have everything. Everything.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Well, I'll see you next week. Thank you. In a couple of weeks with my new boobs, and we'll see how I'm going.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

Thanks for listening, guys.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Love you.

SPEAKER_05 38:37

Love you.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

See you later. See you later.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

Bye!