Ep 12, Food on a first date, you mad??

A&E visits, greedy datees & boob diaries. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Blonde brown skin.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

Brown. Beautiful. Little bit ugly. A little bit lanky.

unknown 0:21

What would you say?

SPEAKER_04 0:22

I'd say he's got salt and pepper hair. You do. He's got hairy ears.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

I always wind him up about his hairy ears. I said, you're gonna go, you're gonna turn out uh like an old man if you don't trim those ears.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

That's starting to get on me nerves.

SPEAKER_05 0:44

Is it?

SPEAKER_04 0:45

Yeah, yeah, it is. And then um, I would say really beautiful green eyes, massive. Like he's jacked. Super jacked. Like a burrito.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

So this is not meant to be a compliment thing, you're not meant to not meant to ask, it's not meant to be like a.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

No, no, no, but I'll be like, oh, he's tall, he's a he's a he's an ex-pro athlete, so just look for someone who looks pretty fit. And then yeah, your teeth are nice, you're about 40, 45 looking.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Do you know what I'll just hit me? It's only funny when you ask a child.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Because then they come out with the weirdest shit that's not going to help the cops.

SPEAKER_04 1:20

Yeah, this is true.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

We're being like, we we know what they want to hear. We want to hear.

SPEAKER_04 1:24

Do we?

SPEAKER_03 1:24

Height, weight, eye colour. Yeah. And some distinctive features. What have we been watching recently?

SPEAKER_04 1:30

We've been watching.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

If anyone wants a good TV series, we've just watched Get Onto Mobland. Pierce Brosnan, don't know the main lady's name, and then the other guy, Hardy.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Tim Hardy. Tim? Tom. Tom Hardy.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

He's unreal. And so we're watching it because season two is coming back out. Do your accent. Season two is coming out.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Please do your accent. What Pierce Brosnan's? He's a hardiggan. When what's Hardigans? They don't call me 100 guns Harigan for nothing. Ha ha ha! Babe! Yeah, this is it. You might be the judge, but I am the executioner!

SPEAKER_04 2:05

You know that he got so much stick for his Irish accent, how fun it is. It isn't great.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

You keep saying you keep painting it out, but I guess for us Aussies, we don't, we're not a romantic. So we see it, it's just entertaining for us. Yeah. We know that's not kind of what he speaks.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

Because the the the the lawyer is a clearly properly Irish, and if not, she's doing a fantastic Irish accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can tell that they're putting theirs on, but yeah, it's still good.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Do you know what's funny this morning? I was just thinking about, I was thinking about Mobland again. We're clearly both m deep in Mobland.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

We couldn't get to sleep last night because we were watching.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

We're too razzed up. Yeah. We watched nearly two Fs, it was a bit naughty of us. But I was thinking about how you kept complaining about Pierce Brosnan's poor um Irish accent, and then I thought about the kid, Eddie. And Eddie, I was gonna ask you, Eddie must be uh actual an English, is he? Yeah, he's not he's not acting.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

Yeah, but all of the kids and the grandkid are all British. Well that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

It's only the parents that are Irish, but do you not know it's no I noticed I didn't I noticed it, but only today today did I think about oh, are they acting as well? Because they might be really good actors.

SPEAKER_05 3:07

Well, they could be Irish and talking in English.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

But I don't think they could be American and be very good.

SPEAKER_05 3:12

Well, yeah, they could, of course they could. You're talking to their talents.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

But anyway, I just thought when I was selecting the cast, they're like, yeah, let's get a lot of English in here. And you know, Tom Hardy can do his job, yep, he can do anything. Oh, fancy. Here's Brosnan, yep, he can come in with his kind of half shitty.

SPEAKER_04 3:30

Yeah. Hello, darling.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Hello, my sweetheart. Welcome everyone to 12.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

Apparently, it's not good for the fucking beast. Everyone is just listening. He went to face pump me and I was just staring at him and I didn't do it, so he grabbed my fist.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

No, it's that all it's that awkward. I thought you were gonna shake my hand.

SPEAKER_04 4:00

I'm so sorry, I couldn't. There we go. Apparently, for algorithm, you're not meant to mention this.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

No.

SPEAKER_04 4:06

I know, and you have to get changed every time. How annoying is that get changed. You have to not have the same outfit on any time that you do the pod. I'll I just wear black every day. Yeah, but you've got a cap on. Sometimes you wear a Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

So it picks up on that how to get out.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

Apparently it does.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Where'd you learn that? TikTok?

SPEAKER_04 4:23

No, no, on Shag Married Annoyed.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

They talked about it.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

They've stopped about a pod.

SPEAKER_04 4:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

They've stopped mentioning um their numbers anymore, and it's devastating because I used to love it when they would say, Welcome to episode 333.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

I want to know about all that sort of algorithm stuff for my video. Funny isn't it? For Wilka, like what what type what's going to boost your higher up and get you all working? But anyway, we don't want to go down that rabbit hole of money. I don't know if you work. But um, welcome everyone to episode 12. Lovely to have you listening and and watching.

SPEAKER_04 4:53

Legit just said it doesn't help your algorithm if you say what number you want. He goes, hello everyone. Welcome to episode 12. He just was not using his brain there at all. Well, I just wanted to get I just wanted to get no, we've not mentioned it once. We've mentioned it three times. So if no one hears this, we'll have to listen to it ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Maybe we're trailblazers. Maybe maybe we're gonna buck the buck the trend. Got you. It's gonna kick it again.

SPEAKER_05 5:17

Okay, Hun. Come on, then P and P.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

So my P and P for you with uh over this last fortnight is Sydney always just walks around the house and goes Is the heating on? Like, I reckon it's starting to get up on earth because at least I reckon at least five to between five and ten times a day, you're like, babe man! I'm absolutely freezing like and then you just you always ask about the heating, and I'm just like, Well, if it's off, turn it on.

SPEAKER_04 5:47

I know, but I'm just wondering because I can't be bothered to walk down the corridor to turn it on and you're next to it, or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

It's and I find it strange because Oh, I'm from the UK.

SPEAKER_04 5:57

I hate all of this bloody shape, man. You are, man?

SPEAKER_01 6:00

You're from the tune, you're from Newcastle, it's like slushy icy everywhere all the time. When you come to Melbourne, it should be heaven. We have heaven dry sunmers. It's not summer there, with it.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Oh no, it's not summer, but was it sunny the last couple of days? You bet you wouldn't bet you Juliet Juliet's not in in um enjoying that.

SPEAKER_04 6:17

Yeah, it's really warm here. Were you friends back there? It's all summer now. It's really hot back.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

I didn't really think about that. But like you know what I'm saying, more often than not, it is you're from Newcastle.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

It's not warm here. And that the we were literally in the taxi with the taxi driver in Sydney, and I said, Oh my god, I could live here. The wind is so warm. And then the taxi driver's like, Oh my god, I know when I go to Melbourne I have to wear full clothes, like I can't wear shorts and a t-shirt anymore. And I said, Yeah, it's the bitter wind from the north or the south pole.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

I know. I I'm really chill. But I guess I just notice it when you say all that because we're we're Melbourne arts. We've been in Melbourne, this is all we know. So we just know that when winter comes, yeah, it's a bit, it's a bit cold, it's a bit chilly. And now and now and now you're on this thing about going to the Gold Coast. I just want to try because Sydney's one step better. Uh well, a little bit. I I would never move to Sydney, but at least the weather's a little bit more sunny. It's a little bit more sunny. Would you move to Manley? That's very specific in Sydney. I mean, Manley's beautiful, absolutely. They got a lot more water in Sydney. But you've been on this thing to go to Gold Coast, haven't you?

SPEAKER_04 7:19

Well, it's not necessarily Gold Coast because I've never been, but it's just looking at potentially going somewhere warmer. Because I just think with kids, if you have kids and every single day you can wake up and walk to school without having seven million jackets on, wellies, cat, coat, going to the park and freezing cold, freezing your bollocks off, when actually you could be at the beach and in the water. That to me is a better ideal of being a kid. Like, that's what I would love if I was a kid. And I just think, like, before we have kids, it's worth us trialing living somewhere else before we have to really make full uneducated choices about where we move. And I yeah, I do love Melbourne, and I kind of wish I'd never moved to Melbourne because now I know that I love it so much. I always say it. But yeah, I do and the P and P is annoying, but I've got rain odds, honey. I've just got terrible circulation to my hands and feet. Fucking ray noid. Raynods. Raynards.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

I'll never get it right because I know it pisses you off. You just don't get any circulation, do you, Sweden? It's not your fault. Nah, I know. You're a miserable little twat.

SPEAKER_04 8:23

Oh, I know. I'm a bit of a cold bugger. And you know, when I was a kid, my mum used to say, put another jumper on, I'd be like, I've got three. I've got three jumpers on, just put the heating on, please. But also, please, dear God, if any property developers ever listen to this, or anyone that builds any homes in Australia, please build them with radiators. So out here they have split systems which are AC. And AC is cold, and and heat rises, so the split systems push out hot, but from the roof. So when you're sat on the sofa, it's cold, and then you stand up and it's like a sauna.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Radiators are a thing of the past. I'm pretty sure it's a it's a it's a historic, you know, thing, barbarian way to sort of build. We do have ductad here, it doesn't always have to come bad.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Ducted is the same, it's from the ceiling.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Can be floor.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

Well, this one isn't in this house.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

Well, we don't have that. I'm sorry we got it in the ceiling, so that.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

So what happens is is that the heating, it's either boiling or cold because you can't get the temperature right, can we? So, like we put it on 21 degrees and then it feels like 28, but then if if the ticker goes below 21, if it goes freezing, there's no like warm temperature. So with heat with with the radiators, babe, you can turn it on to like 16, 17 degrees and you leave it on all day and they stay the same temperature. So the heat that's coming out of them is always the same temperature.

SPEAKER_03 9:46

I can't speak out of school there because maybe maybe it is. Maybe some houses can because I like the the sound of that, a steady heat, and keeping it on a few.

SPEAKER_04 9:53

And you can put your socks on when you get it.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Maybe it's a bit more efficient with like energy as well, because keeping the heating and the cooling on here is just it's just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

I know, yeah. Yeah, I know, I get that. Um it's annoying, isn't it? But I'm gonna keep doing it. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

I'll tell you what, in a new house, we might have to get floor heating. 100% hydro hydroponic under under floor heating. Yeah, underfloor heating here.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

So mine is it's kind of two in one, and I noticed this on holiday even more so. When you are on the phone, you have zero concept of how loud you are talking.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

I know I've got I've got that my entire life.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

We've got now a shared office, and I'll be sitting doing work, and he's got his headphones on, bearing in mind they're on. And I've told you about the fact that he takes people to the toilet with him when he's got his headphones in to have a shit. To play on. It's bizarre. Anyway, so that what he does is he'll be sat on his computer and he's got his big headphones and he just does this all day. And then he'll go, he'll go, mate! How are you? How are you gone? How is your waking? And I'm just like.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

I love hearing that.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

I've got a big smile on my face, because that's just the Aussie way. No, it isn't anyone else. We just crack open a conversation with a massive mate. Mate. Mate! That's exactly how it is, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 11:21

Yeah. It's the best. But it's so.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

And everyone around the world, it's world renowned that that's.

unknown 11:27

Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

I wish it wasn't, because yours is 20 decibels louder than everyone else I know.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Well, I welcomed you into this home office, and when I we were in those very intra-room conversations, I was thinking to myself, subtly deep down, this could could pose a few intricate intricacies, a few difficulties, a few overlaps, and that's just one of them. That's just me, me just chatting away like that. We're just gonna have to work on it.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

You are very good though. Now you pick up the phone, and you if I'm working, you'll just go off and go downstairs, and I can hear every word you're saying from the dining room.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

Still, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, so it's better. It's me trying to and everyone listening. There'll be a lot of people that do the same thing, and maybe you do it a little bit as well. Like moving when you're on the on a call and speaking loud, it just keeps the conversation flowing. You don't get caught.

SPEAKER_04 12:15

But you don't have to speak loud.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

No, no, I don't yeah, I don't know about the loud bit, but that's what I like. That just helps me, yeah, not fuck up my flow of conversation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

No, I do that. I walk and talk.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Oh, you talk for a lot.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

Walk and pee, darling. P and P.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

P and P. Thank you for recognising that. That's okay. I'll be a little bit more conscious of it in good light.

SPEAKER_04 12:36

In good light.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

When you're doing it.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Well, I won't suppress talking out loud now or you will suppress or you won't. I will try. I will attempt to, and I'll do it with a positive way, not because, oh, I'm walking on eggshells because Sydney's here. That's your top. Oh, you don't think you're not going to be able to do that? No, no, no, that's the whole spabe. That's the whole point of PP is you tell the other person and you tell them in good life.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

So that you the other person acknowledges it and you just can fucking move past it. Of course.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

So we're doing the pods every two weeks now because first of all, it's extortionate to pay for the edits. And um, second of all, the week comes up really quickly, doesn't it? And we're like, oh shit, we haven't like prepped for it, we've done like been really busy with work. So for the moment we're gonna do it every two weeks.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

And I've had a couple of people go, no, and I was like, we have to, we have to, because both our where we are in a position for our work stage, we are so busy. Yeah. And it and it takes every minute of your day and energy to pour into the work when you're in the start-up phase. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

So we've had my boobs done. Wow. What day now are we on? What day is it today? Two weeks tomorrow. I had them done.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Wednesday, Thursday, op day, two weeks ago, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How are you feeling? So this is this is this is big. It is big. Wait, have we done a pod since?

SPEAKER_04 13:53

No, we did a pod pre, didn't we?

SPEAKER_03 13:55

Just before the event. We've got a bit to uncover here to fill people in because there's been a lot.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

There's been tits out for the boys. Get your tits out for the boys. Come on.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

Are you happy for me to do that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I thought so. I was even a bit about the whole boob diary. So it was a bit like, I don't wanna be happy to share lots of stuff about our lives or your life. You do your thing, right? It's not not really about me. I'm just the the bloke pride and the coattails, right? But it was a bit like, oh don't know if I really wanna, you know, some of my mates, just on the mind.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

I know your mates have been texting you how Sydney post-op.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

Yeah, how is she? I I'm like, well, you already know because she's documented everything.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

I'm just an open book, and I just find like if people can learn or it helps someone, that's really helpful. So, like when I was researching, and I've been doing research since I was 19 about the boobs, and more so in the last kind of last year when I was in Sydney, I did some research, and that's why I chose the doctor that I chose, is because the research that I'd done was there was a treatment that I saw a couple of years ago now that they it's called um preserve or maya, um and it's basically a technique where it's like a tampon applicator to push this implant in, so it's a lot less invasive than a normal classic surgery, and they go in via the armpit, but they only do that in Europe in places and other some other places as well. But I'd done lots of research around people who've done that type of training, and Stu Hoffman, who was my uh plastic surgeon, he had done it, and but he also offered something called BB, or I can't remember what he calls it, B E B E, and he does the same, but he goes under the fold of the breast like you would in a classic. However, instead of a classic breast augmentation, it's the preserve, which is the tampon applicator. So my recovery's been great. My nipples were really facing downwards the first few days. Weren't they not like that, they were down.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

No, no, I'm just joking.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

Yeah, they were like that, and I was like, what are these odors?

SPEAKER_03 15:53

Oh big sad. Oh, I just remember the first when we did the when I first spoke to them. Oh I was genuinely like it's it's so weird to go from not much. Not much. I don't want to I don't want to say no no beaubies to uh oh, we've got some we've got some new friends here, you've got some new gals. Yeah, they're just very obvious, very just stuck on. They're there, they're there. Well, just you know what I mean. It's a body part that just kind of gets fucking flipped. It's wild.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

And they look, they don't I mean they're starting to look, I can I can tell that they're going to look great in the next few months, but it takes about three months for them to settle. So the first few days I couldn't even have my bra off because I was like, oh my god, I feel like they're gonna just burst.

SPEAKER_03 16:33

Explode.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

They look like they were gonna explode.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

They were fuck shiny fuckers. You can see yourself.

SPEAKER_04 16:42

Oh my man, they were but they're a bit better now, aren't they? They're not as tight.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

But I didn't really have any pain, did I?

SPEAKER_03 16:49

You need you need to show me more. You need to keep wrapping yourself up in your bandages. I've seen them.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

I sent you a photo. Yeah, they're they're looking good, and I'm really happy. And I probably could have gone bigger, but I'm glad I didn't because I didn't want them too big. I wanted just to- Do you reckon?

SPEAKER_03 17:03

Do you uh you said that said that yesterday before? Do you really reckon?

SPEAKER_04 17:06

Well, when I first had them done and they were really tight and big, I was like, no, but it's only another 15cc more. So it's it was only slightly more.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

But they look good compared to like what when I look at what they're like compared to my body, I'm like, oh no, I'm happy with them. But yeah, it was good, and I didn't I thought I was gonna be in pain, and I wasn't really, was I? Like I took painkers solidly for the first three days, really, or two days at least.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

You didn't take any, like, oh, I will thought you I would have thought you would have loaded up, but you've you haven't cracked any of the the um the harsher um drugs.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

How's life with um in the bed with the new pregnancy pillow that our heart?

SPEAKER_03 17:41

No, these city's got these pregnancy pillows, like these literally like a sausage. So it's like we start, yeah, a sausage and it's got two knots on the end, which are these big rubber things, and because one's longer, it arches right around her body. You're taking up like I reckon 80% of the bed. So I'm squeezed off to like 20%. Oddly, I am. Come on, come on. Can't get at you for a cuddle or anything. So I'm just out there battling in the cold. The duny because you're taking more of the doony because there's more puff. I'm just slumming it out to the side.

SPEAKER_04 18:11

Oh, it's so good.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

It's so it's from it does look fucking comfy.

SPEAKER_04 18:14

It's from BB Hug Me. I've got um if anyone wants a discount code, I've got one if you're pregnant or you've had surgery or whatever. Um, but it is just the comfiest, it's like a beanie texture, and it's just so comfy, and I don't think I'll ever not sleep with it now. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

Yeah, no, well, no, we don't. I'll get rid of that, that's for sure. That's going under the staircase.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

But um, is your week being?

SPEAKER_03 18:33

But well, my well, my weeks have been good, but um I'm pretty sure pretty just pr pretty much has been nursing nursing you, and it's been challenging because I don't have my licence at the moment. So and I'll tell you what, just on the licence thing quickly, if you lose your license in winter, like when it's cold and it's always raining, you can't commute on public transport. Even though I've learned public transport, it's actually pretty, pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

What do you mean you can't commute if it's always raining?

SPEAKER_03 18:57

Well, no, well you can. It's just it's sorry, it makes it a lot more difficult. So you're always wet. It's like, what do you mean? Your computer bags, you've got your work bags, shit gets wet. Last couple of weeks have just been pretty much all just nursing you and my and and a little bit of work, and things have been good.

SPEAKER_04 19:11

Can I just say the last couple of weeks have been pretty much nursing you? You made me dinner twice at the beginning, and then you just you took yourself off on a work trip day two, and then you took yourself off on another little work trip day three, and I was like, off you go, see you later.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

And so lunch in mainly in Sydney, is that what you're talking about?

SPEAKER_04 19:30

So day one post-surgery, like by the way, he's been brilliant. I'm just saying this in jest. I've really uh thank you, love you. It's really sweet, you've really looked after me for inserting and helped me put stuff on, but there's just some really funny things like there's some really funny things that has happened over the course of the last couple of weeks. I can say it see him getting more frustrated as I was needing help with putting stuff on, but that's fine. But day one, he woke up in the morning and he went, I'm gonna go for a coffee, babe. Do you want anything for breakfast? And I was like, Yeah, I'll have um, you know, a slice of banana. This is literally day post. I was like, I'll have a slice of banana bread or something. Anyway, he topples off, he comes back, and he's like sucking in his coffees like it's delicious to that. And I was like, Is it? Where's my breakfast? And he went, Oh, oh, oh, forgot! The hill's massive, and I just, I just forgot. I don't want me to go back. And I was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

And it started raining, so I had to catch an Uber. I thought I was gonna walk back. But actually, to make it even worse, to be fair, you specifically said, I would love some banana bread. And I went to the cafe where there was I knew there was fucking banana bread on Bondol, right on the beach there, was sat there, got caught.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

What happened to you?

SPEAKER_03 20:36

You patted some dogs and it started raining, and you know I love running and it patted some dogs and it was mesmerizing. The the rain was falling down, and I just fucking enjoyed it. I'm like, oh, this is lovely. And then I just jumped, I just quickly scooted into an Uber and I forgot.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

You daft bugger. I haven't really told you about this, but someone emailed a guy, the CEO of some dating app, new dating website called Heaven. H-E-A-V-N. He's messaged me a couple of times, it was in my junk for following Sydney. I need to message him back.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

But of course it was, you missing stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

I know, God, I went to my junk yesterday, I had loads of stuff in there. And so hang on, so what, yeah, and what? So he basically met his wife on match.com like 20 years ago, and he just said he doesn't like the superficial way of dating apps, and he's got this new dating app where they look at it's I don't really know it that much, but he said he wants to come on and talk about it. I don't know whether we'll do that. But I was like, isn't that hilarious? That is fucking hilarious. Yeah, what the hell? So have you messaged him back? No, I haven't emailed him back yet. He's in America, so it'll be on Zoom, and I'm like, oh, it's too much hassle.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

That sounds like too much adult. Yeah, I don't want to even chop that in.

SPEAKER_04 21:40

I'm I mean, yeah, but I and I was like, Oh, that's interesting. So he was like, basically, it's less superficial, it's not swiping, it's more about bio, what you're really looking for, and 80 uh uh they match you by eighty percent. And I was like, wow, so you're not gonna have very many matches then, are you? And I've been You probably want that.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

You probably want it a bit bit more specific. Interesting because we did talk about dating a fair bit a couple of pods ago. Yeah. A bunch of pods ago. And the big thing obviously with swiping is too much. It's too many. So maybe that maybe cutting it all down and cutting out the shit. Believing us that we've got this right.

SPEAKER_04 22:18

I'm reading this book at the moment called The One, and it was a Netflix um film. I don't know if you've seen it. And it was about they look che it's like it's not real, it's fictional. And they um get the uh DNAs from people and they match people with their perfect matches. So some of them end up leaving their husbands because they realise that they're not a perfect match. So it f it's like messed the world up, but also it's massively reduced like um like you know, like um unhappy marriages, depression, anxiety, stress because people aren't with the wrong wrong people aren't with the wrong people.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

But it's wild, so I'm like nearly finished it and there's loads of things unpicking. It's really good. It's such a good if anyone hasn't seen the um I don't know about I can't remember the film, but if anyone's like likes something to read, have a read. It's really good. I thought we could slip into a bit of dating dilemmas. Please send in your dating stories because I just love receiving them when we haven't had any for the last couple of weeks because I haven't been putting it out there that much. But either message me on Instagram, but it's it's better to email at tt at gmail.com. I'll put it in the bio. I keep forgetting to do that, but I will do that.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Because they're being funny.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

Because they're being funny, but I keep missing some. I I I see some and then they all of a sudden go.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Do we have any for this week?

SPEAKER_04 23:28

Yes. But um, I wanted to talk about a one that I went on that I remembered.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

So I went to Sydney. Oh, this is why I remember because we were in Sydney.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

And we were in Bondi, and there's an ice cream shop. Anyway, this guy, he asked to have a drink of my can, and I was like, of course. So I had had like one drink, and every time he would drink a can, he would drink it all in one, like actually skull the whole can. And I've and then he would be like, uh, and I'd be like, How are you doing that? Anyway, I gave him a drink, and I thought, surely, because it's my drink, he'll not skull it. And he fully skullled it and gave me back.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

So when you gave it to him this time, had had you already noticed that he he does this?

SPEAKER_04 24:07

Yeah, but I thought, but that was his own.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Like you've seen him do it with his own.

SPEAKER_04 24:10

Yeah, so I was like, he won't do it with the can.

SPEAKER_03 24:13

So then you so then you yeah, it's so fucking weird. So then you go and bought a can and you've had a drink and you go, I better offer it to him. It's it's a nice thing to do. Yeah. And I wonder if he's gonna fucking neck the whole thing and you've given it to him.

SPEAKER_04 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

And he and he annihilated what type of can was it? What was it?

SPEAKER_04 24:26

Oh, creativity. A whole fizzy drink. And I and then I wasn't paying attention, he gave me it back and it was literally empty, and I thought, well, get your own fucking can.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Did he give you any dregs?

SPEAKER_04 24:38

Yeah, there was dregs, but I was just like, that's saliva.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Sorry, I'm trying to be specific because that's fucking bizarre. Isn't that rogue? So bizarre.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

But the the worst thing about it is I then got an ice cream and I specifically paid more to get this chocolate don't cone. The chocolate don't cone with the nuts, with the fucking ice cream in. I was licky dicky wicky on that thing, and I was loving my life. And I hadn't salivating. I hadn't even got oh, I'd had a nibble of the chockey and he went.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

And you went to offer it again?

SPEAKER_04 25:12

He said, Can I have a lick?

SPEAKER_03 25:13

And I thought this might be just a little lickety-splickety.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

And silly me, I didn't just hold it in my own hand and you know, let him lick and pull away.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

You gave him full control.

SPEAKER_04 25:26

You give him an inch, he takes them all, this fella. That was where I went wrong. He took it, he licked it, he bit it, and the whole rim of chocolate fell off. And instead of him biting half and giving me it, he ate it. And I was staring at him and I went, Was that nice? And he went, Oh, it was you know, I've never had that before. And I thought, well, fuck me, I have, and that's why I bought it. But now I've got none left. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

He's just oblivious. I can't. I need a when you tell me these stories or you hear about dating stories, I need I I just want to try and picture the pep people's face in my in my mind. I don't know why, but I just want to see a picture. Would you have a picture of this fellow? I'll show you at some point.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

But yeah, honestly, I was just like, give me strength. I was devastated. That is strange. Oh, met a guy off Tinder for a first date. So we just went for coffee and when um and it went well, so the next day we decided to go for food. Already questionable. He decided to order chicken wings. Have I done this one?

SPEAKER_03 26:23

Well, I'm the wrong person to ask.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

Um we decided to go for food and already halfway through he started to choke sitting in the middle of the restaurant on a high table. So everyone around us started looking. Me being awkward as I didn't really know this man just started laughing. I didn't even I did eventually help him. Um and yeah, Nelly had to do the heimnick manoeuvre. I thought I was gonna have to do it in the middle of the restaurant to get these chicken wings up. Fast forward one year, and we moved to Australia together and never looked back.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

And I was like, oh. We haven't read that one out before.

SPEAKER_04 26:51

But wings on a first date, first eating date.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

Nah, that's a that is an absolute rookie error.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

That is a rookie error.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

When we were in Sydney, we we we were getting ribs when we got those big rack of rack of ribs in Rose Bay.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

They were smothered with bar like the sauce. There's just, it is a messy affair. It just gets under your nails. And no fucking way are you doing that on a first date.

SPEAKER_04 27:12

You know what I used to do, babe?

SPEAKER_03 27:13

I even avoid I used to avoid ordering big meals.

SPEAKER_04 27:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:17

Like I wouldn't eat because you'd be a little bit ner nerves suppress your appetite, do they? Well they did for me anyway. And so small meals. Sometimes it'd be weird. I'd just order an entree and like, is that all you're gonna eat? Shut up. You would only get an entree if you're out for dinner. You know, there's like those entrees that you can kind of maybe have as a meal. Oh, babe. And then I'd always, and then I'd always say, This is I can't believe I'm saying this. I'd sometimes I'd just say, oh no, because I just I've eaten already, like I've kind of I've just eaten, probably stuffed up my timing, haha, you know.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

So then babe, no way. It's a pre-meditated plan.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are you worried about? So that I could just concentrate on drinking so I can get be bubbly and chat and like get through the food bit because eating can be awkward sometimes. You never know if you're gonna spill any. You might get full and leave too much on your play.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

That's really sad.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

I'm all in my head about it.

SPEAKER_04 28:03

Yeah, that's really sad that maybe maybe maybe there's a lot of men that don't. That's really sad that you think that you have to drink to like be bubbly.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

It's cool, it's called called having a settler. There was a there was a a young lass, a young lady who wrote in and we told her. That's just what I mean. Everyone uses alcohol as a couple of pick-up settlers, you know? Just to get bubbling.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

Well I do that.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

To be yourself, to fall into your to fall into your groove and and show the best best side of yourself on a day. I'm not saying to go there and it's not a sad thing. It's just a nerve thing. It's an exciting thing.

SPEAKER_04 28:37

Okay, okay, I've got it. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Yes, I'm gonna be able to do that. Felt like I was getting attacked then.

SPEAKER_04 28:43

No. For being No, but I just said I was just saying it's really sad that we think that, like, because I do it, like think that you have to have a drink to be able to be bubbly and exciting. And it might be an ADHD thing, but it's just really sad.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

You just no, you just roll in and fucking off the calf and don't shut the fuck up. Like you're fine. So that's I understand why you would raise that like that.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

But I would have You're a weirdo. I would have a rule that I would not go on eating. I would never go on an eating date unless I like the person. So it would be date three or four. Why? Because it's really awkward. If you're sitting across the table from someone, that's why you need a couple of beers. Don't do that. Just don't have a meal. So my tip for anyone going out dating is do not go for a meal for the first date. You then have to sit with them for at least 90 minutes. And what happens if you know from the get-go that you are not into this? And then you've got to order food and sit with them out of politeness. Go for a walk, go for a coffee. Coffee. Yeah. Go for a drink.

unknown 29:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

Anything but food. And I only go for a food date if I think this guy is someone that I like.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

Big one. This was a shift. It's actually how it how it sort of. I made a shift as well. I went away from doing meals as well or going to dinners. No way. Like for first dates or even second dates. It was coffee, not even a drink. You just said take them for a coffee or a drink. If you go for drinks and you have one drink and the other and then it's been a few times where the other person's like, well, let's just get a quick feed. Or do you want to have one more? Two drinks at a bar can still last for like two hours, do you know, or it can go for a long time. Well, we coffee, a coffee goes real quick. Yeah. You can keep it short, sharp, sweet, and it only costs you four bucks. And because we're always shouting, so it's like it only costs you under ten bucks. Whereas you go out for a drink. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:29

If you go out for a dinner, it's $300.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Yeah, just yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

And then you've got to think about taxis and everything, and like, oh yeah, it's so much better.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Coffee. At least for your first two days. So just go for a coffee, get out, understand if you like them.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

And if you do, then progress to the dinner. And then you don't have the whole debacle about ordering entrees and mains.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 30:48

And ribs and choking on ribs.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

Exactly. Then there was another lady who cut message and I don't know if we've already t talked about this, but I just thought it was a really good topic to talk about because I have totally been here. And basically she said that she ended up on a date with someone and she wanted to friend zone him straight away, but it just because it just didn't feel like it was going to work, but she felt too bad, so she kept dating him for weeks. And then they now think that they're he now thinks that they're a thing, and she had to like break it off. And I find that so sad, like really feel sad for that person because like the other person, but I also understand it from her perspective where it's really it takes pure guts to say to someone's face, I'm sorry, I just don't see something with you.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

I'm just not that into you.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

Yeah, I love that film. But yeah, isn't it hard? Have you ever done that, or have you always texted or have you ghosted before?

SPEAKER_03 31:39

Uh uh it's not in me to ghost. It's not in me to ghost, so I would just prolong it out, yeah, until they had no option but to understand that it was not a thing.

SPEAKER_04 31:49

Oh, so that's pretty bad as well.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

I don't know, it was painful for everyone involved, but manning up is to is to just get just say this isn't I'm not that into you, like this is not working.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

So what would you do then to say you'd gone on a date?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

If it didn't get past the first date, wouldn't you just stop? Absolutely just stop, and I would probably just not reply. I would take however I got out of or whatever, I'll I wouldn't go to but if they were like good and everything was kind of good and I didn't really know, I couldn't make my mind, I call it a three-month theory. At about at about ten weeks, like after how many catch-ups in ten weeks, say once a week or something, probably eight or ten catch-ups.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

That's quite a lot.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

That's a lot, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were in love by that, well see I didn't ha I haven't had a lot of like long-term girlfriends. And so you get to like the ten week mark, three months, and that'd be like, right, well, I'm well, I'm in this, like, what do you what do you think? And I'm like, Well I'm out. And they're like, and then that that would be that would be it. So I kind of probably did just drag it out too, like.

SPEAKER_04 32:49

So you did what this lady did. Yeah. And did you did you know though from the get-go that it was probably just a casual thing? Probably, yeah. Eee, that's bad babes, but we've all been there. We've all been there. But uh just easier. So when when we went dating, why was it what what what is it you think that what's the je ne sais?

SPEAKER_03 33:08

The what?

SPEAKER_04 33:09

You know, like what's the thing that makes people then want to date people? Is it just like a feeling?

SPEAKER_03 33:14

Yeah, you know, it's just a thing. You just know when you know the old saying sayings are sayings for a reason. So when you know, you know, you just know it's something, it's that little spark in there that you just feel not one bit questioning anything.

SPEAKER_04 33:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

And all you want to do is say him again.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Like it's just it's just a feeling, isn't it? Why are we gone quiet? You just think.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

No, I'm thinking because I was like, is it different for men or women? It's just interesting hearing it from a man's perspective, what it feels like for them. But you said, remember when we were talking like last week or something, and you went, Oh, like sometimes all I would be thinking about was the fact that you've texted me, but I was really busy, but I really wanted to text you, and I kept thinking about texting you until I did. Like, I don't understand how people don't text people back if that if they really like that.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

That was me after seeing something online about if someone doesn't text in the dating world, if someone doesn't text you back, and they have that cop out saying, or or they say, Too busy, I'm too busy. Yeah, that isn't that is just it's nothing other than disrespect. They are disrespecting you by not giving you the time, which means it's an automatic cutoff.

SPEAKER_04 34:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:14

Are you gonna cop being disrespected? No, you're not. No one, no one should. So cut it off. Don't hang on to all the good things that you think are gonna be awesome and that.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

If they don't communicate back with you, like I think we had a friend of yours who were trying you were trying to help out, and then I got involved because you wanted a male perspective, and it's like, oh, he doesn't text me, but then he does all this good stuff, then he tells me this. If they're still not texting you back, they're disrespecting you, yeah, they're not into you, it's never gonna work.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

No, and words mean nothing, it's all about actions, and that's something that I used to not listen to. I would just constantly be going off. Oh, well, they've said this. Yeah, yeah, I'd be constantly going off words. I'd be like, oh, they're saying they're gonna do this, but then the actions wouldn't. And if if there's something that feels off, it is off. It's your body signalling, it's a warning sign that it's not right, and you staying there for longer just disrespects yourself over and over again. It takes a long time to get out of that pattern, but you can.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

You gotta trust your gut and not your head. Your head is the stuff that's telling you, oh, but he said that this time. Yeah, he did take me on that dinner, and he did say we want to go on a holiday you know next next year, or whatever they spew, or he or she spews. Yeah, it's uh it's just trust your guilt.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

Yeah, absolutely. But thank you for messing in. Yeah, and uh, we've got to wrap it up because I've got a bloody event to go with.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

We've got to wrap it up. I wanted to tell so I want I've got this. I had you told me this real funny story. I want to tell everyone a funny story. Oh, next time about Sydney when she was a little tiny girl. I don't know how old you were. You must have been about cute little nine-year-old or seven-year-old or something between then. And you drank some reason you love your you love your busy drinks and and your sugars and stuff. You had you had you sculled. Apparently, you drank two to three litres of lemonade, and you went into some shock, like you were hallucinating, you had like some sort of sugar spike or heart palpitation, or this gut, like some ad. I'll let me let me. This is this is how the story was told, and I fucking lost it. Sydney's drank three litres of lemonade, she's like self-imploding, and Julia, her mum's like stressing out, like so worried about you, like you weren't right.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

And we they get in there and it's fucking all happening, and little Sydney's in the floor just like having a fit, and next minute she just busts out a fart, and then you were you said I was 100% all okay. So all these nurses and doctors and mums str sweating and stressing out, and all you needed to do was just pump out a fart. I mean that is a I fucking lost it, and you're like, it turns out I just needed a fat man.

SPEAKER_04 36:48

Bam. That is not quite correct. That's two stories in one, and I wasn't nine, I was like 28.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

That's not a lot.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

I don't know why that was when you were little, you fucking grown adult, and your mum was beside herself livid, like pissed off at you, like, what the fuck have we just done?

SPEAKER_04 37:09

No, no, so when I was a kid, when I was 17, I was designated driver, and I was I drank two litres of lemonade and I ended up in A on a Friday night, and my mum wasn't asked, she was like, get a grip, you just need to like you've got indigestion, but I was really unwell, and then I got to the A and I fought it and I was fine and we went home. Mum was like, for fuck's sake, we'll be here for five hours on a Friday night, and it is full of pissed people. But then the one you're talking about was it was during COVID, so I was 29 or 30, and I was rocking back and forth on a uh on all four. So mum thought I was like pregnant or something because I was in agony. I rang, um, I rang the GP and he's he was like, What's your breathing rate? And I was like, 60. I was like, I can't concentrate, I'm in agony. And I'd eaten a curry on a night shift at 3 a.m. And I took a bus capan and some rennies, and by the time the ambulance came, my heart rate was through the roof, my blood pressure was really high, and by the time I drove to the AE, my heart rate was at 50. And I got in and I felt fine because I burped a couple of times and I was like, Oh, the bus capan's kicked in. And then when I got to the AE, the woman went, You're fine, go home. And I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. But I was in agony, it's horrible indigestion if you've ever had it. But it's just self-god. But I was an adult, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

Such a naffy, oh my god, anyway.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

We've got to wrap it up. I've got this great event I'm going to, which I've been invited to by Mon, who is a lady who works for a company called Lacivo, and they are honestly a fantastic brand that do in-bra breast pumps, but they don't stock in the UK yet. I'm really hoping it rolls out soon. So they stock in Europe, um, America, and Australia. But they have won like a heap of awards for how fantastic their breast pumps are. I've got one, not that I'm pumping, but they're just brilliant. So I'm going to an event, yeah, for lunch, which is going to be so nice.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

It sounds very bougie.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

Yeah, so I've got to go get the train and then yeah. What are you doing today?

SPEAKER_03 39:00

Working, just normal, normal graft at least.

SPEAKER_04 39:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:03

Architecture today.

SPEAKER_04 39:04

Yeah, you've you're doing some new Wilka cabins architectural stuff, so that'll be good. That's exciting. Love you, see ya. Thanks everyone for listening. Nice to see you. Send in your stories, please. No T and T T at Gmail.com. See you later. See you later. Bye.