Ep. 2 - "Yes, And" with Dr. Susie Spirlock

Dr. Susie Spirlock kept going through the long days to build her business, and the diagnoses no one saw coming...until her body made it very clear that she couldn't anymore.

Susie is a PT, DPT, strength coach, and founder of Move Your Bones — and in this conversation she held nothing back. We talked about the identity shift that comes when your body changes the rules on you. The perfectionism that almost stopped her from starting. What it actually looks like to slow down when slowing down feels like failure. And we stumbled onto a philosophy borrowed straight from improv — "yes, and" — that might be my favorite framework I've heard yet for navigating chronic illness, hard seasons, and the clients who aren't getting better as fast as you want them to.

If you're a coach or clinician who's been white-knuckling it and telling everybody you're fine — this one's for you.

Follow Susie on Instagram

Links:

Book a free consult call with me: https://calendly.com/unbreakablestrengthonline/firestarter-call-1

Wanna be more confident working with athletes in your practice? Get a free copy of the Confident Sports Clinician's Checklist: https://unbreakablestrength.kit.com/35c376acac

Trying to get consistent with your own training? Get a free copy of the Consistency Catalyst guide: https://unbreakablestrength.kit.com/cac1abf5af

Find Susie: Instagram @dr.susie.squats | www.moveyourbonespt.com

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jared.unbreakable/

Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jared.unbreakable

Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@unbreakablestrength1

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

My name is Jared Maynard. I'm a physical therapist, strength coach, and in 2023 I was lying in an ICU bed on a ventilator with a 50-50 chance of making it out alive. I made it out. And what I learned along the way changed everything about who I am, how I coach, how I live, and what I believe is possible for you as you're rebuilding when everything else falls apart. This show is for the coaches and clinicians, the people who give their all to everybody else and don't have much left over for yourselves. On this show we talk about training and rehab, but we also talk about identity and grief and the courage that it takes to keep showing up when the going gets hard. This show is meant to be your companion on the road as you keep showing up for yourself. This is Unbreakable. Hello and welcome back to episode 2 of Unbreakable with yours truly, Jared Maynard. But I am not alone today. No no, I am in the presence of Rehab social media royalty. I have across for me the one and only Dr. Susie Spurlock, aka Dr. Susie Squats. Susie, how are we doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

We're doing pretty good today. Can't complain too much.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Awesome. Uh to kick things off, I have a historical reenactment. Is that cool if I launch into it?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

So the historical reenactment is when I first came across you on social media. And it went something like this. Oh, Dr. Susie Doctor Susie Squatts. Looked at profile. She really is training with a barbell. Oh, she's calling out bullshit in the rehab world. Follow. Instant. That's more or less how it went down.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

No, that's amazing. And I honestly can say the same thing about your page. When I saw you follow me, I think you commented on a few posts, and I know you and um one of the coaches that works with me and my team, Dr. Pat Bell, have been connected for a while. I was like, oh hey, look, Jared, oh look, overcoming massive adversity and all these obstacles in life and health, and still training and had this major comeback, like also calling out bullshit in the rehab space, immediate follow back.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

So this has been some time coming, and now we get to chit-chat in real time. And I'm stoked. Like, thank you seriously for taking the time, Susie. Especially knowing that like life stays pretty full for you.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

It does. But we are we are making it and we are also finding ways to slow down, which or I'm probably sure we're gonna talk about here in a bunch of different ways. But just happy to be here and be guest number two and excited to chat more about what you have in store for me today.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Yeah, every other guest, the bar's getting said hi. Sorry about your luck. So obviously historical reenactment now, present for everybody to hear and see. For people who aren't familiar with you, what's like the two to three minute superhero origin story of Susie Burlock?

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Oh my goodness. A superhero. I love that. That's so kind. Um I'm a doctor of physical therapy. I am also a strength coach, and I am a business owner of a fully online remote rehab and fitness coaching business. It did not start out like this. I actually treated for three years in a very rural, outpatient-based, hospital-based clinic in super rural Oklahoma, my husband's Air Force. So we were there for the first three years after I graduated, now in Charleston, South Carolina, St. Dennis. Uh, but I saw everything from pediatrics to post top hip replacements, knee replacements, lateral ankle reconstruction, ACL, patellifemoral pain, everyone from, you know, crawling babies to people in their 80s. And since it was a very rural community, health literacy was very low. So it taught me a lot on how to be a good generalist. But it's not necessarily the route that I saw as something that I could do for the rest of my life. Actually, six months into working out of PT school, I sat and just stared at the wall and asked myself, is this what the rest of my life is going to look like? Because if it is, like I think I made the biggest mistake ever by becoming a physical therapist and going into$100,000 in debt. Fast forward a little bit and I had actually been, or actually backing up a little bit, I had started posting on social media in PT school just for fun, just to post workouts and tips and tricks, things I was learning in PT school. And so I had grown a little bit of a social media following throughout that process. And then when everything came up of like, hey, I don't know if I can do this outpatient PT thing for the rest of my life, my husband stepped up and he's like, You need to just monetize your social media. You need to create a business. People have been asking you for coaching and programming and to work with them on their pain and injuries because they're not getting the results they want in traditional PT. And so I took a bet on myself with him supporting me throughout the whole entire way. And fast forward three years to where we are today, I now have a team of four where I have myself and then three full-time physical therapist coaches that work with me and my team. And we help people all over the world merge strength training, performance, and rehab all in one, and so they can get back to doing the things they love most.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Awesome. Uh like three years is not nothing. Does it does it ever like surprise you, or does has it felt like it just like has blown up bigger than you thought, or is it where you thought it was gonna be, or is it just how is that?

SPEAKER_00 5:34

You know, I don't really know how to answer that question because I honestly started out with not really having any expectations. I started out in the business trying to give myself something part-time to do that would fill my cup while still treating in the clinic. And I guess I didn't expect it to get to where it's at today, which is a positive. I mean, I work completely remote from home, at home with my three dogs. Um, my husband and I can travel, I can take days where I do less if my health issues are running rampant that day. And I never really expected it to get to where it's at today. But I'm extremely thankful that it has for lots of different reasons. Being able to help more people, being able to meet myself and my health conditions where I'm at, as well as being able to have a team that I could also help leave the clinic since they wanted more in the remote space, but they don't have the burden of being the business owner and doing all the fun admin stuff that people have no idea that I do behind the scenes.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Yeah, no one ever does until you run a business. You're like, oh, it's great. You just you work from home and you help people and you make money. And meanwhile, business owners like you and Mir are like just just frazzled, haven't slept and need a coffee central line, basically.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Literally. There's so much more that goes on behind the scenes. And what people see on my social media platform is like, oh, look at this cute quirky girl with her braces lifting weights and being sassy, calling out bullshit, and posting about her dogs and running a badass business, but they don't see the majority of what happens behind the scenes in order to make things continue running and also have a balance to where you don't let social media and your business just rule your entire life.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Exactly. All of the above are true. Um, and like you said, shout out to Dr. Pat Bell, who he and I connected, and he deserves credit, I think, for this conversation. So thanks, Pat.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

I would agree.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Um so I did stalk I don't think you would call it stalking, but I did my research before this conversation. Mostly or especially focusing on your episode from the Koshima podcast, which is great. Um and I think you'd also mention that as part of your journey growing up playing soccer in cross-country, right? And then you didn't touch a barbell till later, which I think deserves a little extra focus, especially knowing, as you say, now you're Dr. Susie Squats on on Instagram, and people know you for lifting and being awesome and strong. So, like, what was the catalyst if there was?

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Yeah, so I grew up obviously running cross-country, playing soccer. I my nickname and things I got made fun of growing up was for being so small and so skinny. I was called bean pole and told to go eat a cheeseburger, like the whole nine yards of body shaming, but instead of from the typical lens of when people are in larger bodies, but I was at a smaller body. And I got into undergrad with a really nasty breakup and needed an outlet to foster some of that negative energy into while doing therapy alongside of that. And so I went into the gym and I started lifting weights, and I have never looked back because I gained a lot of muscle, I gained a lot of confidence and strength. Uh, lifting, as cheesy as it sounds, is one of the things that saved me during that time in my life, and it is something that has become and stayed a habit over the past 10 plus years throughout the wonderful journeys of life.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

It's awesome. I appreciate you sharing that. I I know it's not the first time, but still I think it's I think it's always powerful. Um powerful and fascinating to hear how we all find our way to where we are now, especially knowing that you and me like a lot of other people are unified by the barbell and the strength that we find in the gym. Um and I identify with yes, strength really saving me in a lot of ways. Not just the physical, but the physical is a big part of it. The the psychological and identity piece too where I started on the opposite side as a kid. I was the the fat kid, the kid in a larger body who was reminded of that by the other kids. Um and it was a bit of a roundabout journey, first with martial arts, then football, and then we started lifting weights to get ready for the next season of football. Where the coaches did some fitness testing, and their only rule was if you come back for summer camp and you're better, then you get to play. So that was my first introduction to the gym in my parents' basement with like a dusty bodybuilding. It was addicting.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

It's extremely addicting, especially the newbie gains. Like if I could go back and just experience those newbie gains again for the first time, oh my gosh. It's is a I like riding a euphoria with how fast you gain strength, and then muscle mass follows suit after that, and you just want to go every day, but you know you can't because you need to recover. And like you mentioned, the physical part is huge, but also the mental part. And you know, not just like, oh hey, I went through a bad breakup and now I'm lifting weights and it's saving me, but also from like all the different things that lifting can teach us, especially as a woman, when it comes to confidence, taking up space, feeling empowered, kind of breaking through societal norms because women have notoriously been told to, oh, do the cardio, only run, only walk, do the elliptical, eat super small, low calorie versus flipping that whole entire script and you know, eating the same amount as my husband, lifting heavier loads, uh, you know, continuing to increase my weight on all of the big three lifts across the lifespan. I mean, the power and confidence that comes with that, there's literally nothing else that I've experienced in life that comes close to it.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Yeah. That's amazing. Uh, I did experience the newbie gains again, and I would go back, I would change the circumstances if possible, but like newbie gains are pretty dope, not gonna lie. Um so knowing that, uh before we we hopped on, you'd mentioned that the last year has been quite the journey for you. If you're open what's been going on.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

So the past year has been the biggest sort of health identity journey, but it all really started honestly back in 2020, uh, is when all my health conditions started to roll out. So I got COVID in 2020, one of the first strains. Um, it was like that fall of 2020, and I was so sick. Before then, I had no cold morbidities, super healthy, super fit, no issues with anything. And that virus literally took me out of work for three weeks, like lying prone on my couch with O2 saturation in the high 80s. I it's hard to even remember those three weeks because I was so feverish, like almost to the brink of like I needed to go to the hospital based on O2 saturation and fever, but like not enough to where I was willing to sort of risk you know other exposures. Obviously, talking with my physician with all this. And so that set me back so far. I because of that code infection, that barrel infection, had pretty much unmasked a lot of health conditions that I had that were not really apparent in my life. But that immune response that code sort of sparked in my body led to developing POTS, which is which is postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. So anytime I went from sitting to standing, my heart rate would shoot up and my blood pressure would drop. Not everyone has blood pressure drops with POTS. Heart rate shoot up, blood pressure would drop, get super dizzy, super faint. Um, I have never fainted myself from POTS, but some people do. And then POTS also comes with tons of fatigue, higher resting heart rates. I would be sitting on the couch and my heart rate would just randomly spike into the 120s for no apparent reason. And then because of the POTTS diagnosis, that we then went down the rabbit hole of, oh, I think you might potentially have hypermobile LR Stanlow syndrome. And lo and behold, I did, got diagnosed with that. That one wasn't too shocking to me because I did grow up being super bendy and I knew that I was somewhere in the hypermobility spectrum, but getting the actual HEDS diagnosis was starting to put the puzzle pieces together as to why COVID took me out like it did. And then another two other factors that happened right around that time that led to all the issues I'm dealing with now is I came off the birth control pill for the first time after like 13 or 14 years. I was put on it as a teenager because of irregular menstrual cycles that were lasting six weeks long. And back then, they just put you on the pill. They didn't try to dig deeper of what's going on. And then we also lived on base housing in Oklahoma where the house was infested with mold in the air dex. So a perfect little storm, which obviously exacerbated the pots, led to uh rampant like adult acne, led to tons of gut issues, tons of fatigue, and I ended up losing like 15 pounds, mostly muscle because I didn't really have much body fat on me at that time. And I basically took a year after getting that initial COVID diagnosis to return to some normalcy, but it was never normal to whenever it was before all of this happened before 2020. So, in the midst of all this, mind you, I graduated in 2020. So I was working in the clinic and then I started to create my own online business. So I'm dealing with all this stuff popping up and starting my own business at the same time, which I was super excited about and still obviously. So back in oh gosh, 2023, 2024, 2020, sometime around then, I had some business mentors who were just really pushing me really hard. And it wasn't necessarily bad, but it was pushing so hard that it led me to burn out within my own business. I hated my own business, I didn't want to do it anymore. And this also exacerbated all of these health conditions for a second time, even worse than the time before. And then February of 20, oh gosh, 25. So a little over a year ago, is when I finally said, okay, these business mentors and I are vibing together. I'm going my own way, I'm restructuring my whole entire business, and I'm finally gonna take care of my own health because I've been putting it aside for the past, what, four or five years? Because I just kept almost gaslighting myself and saying, I'm fine, it's fine, it'll get better. Like I don't need to dive into deeper any of this. So lo and behold, going through and diving in with a ton of specialists, we found um small intestinal bacterial overgrowth in my gut, candida overgrowth, gut dysbiosis, nutrient malabsorp absorption whilst not absorbing my nutrients, both micro and macro, low stomach acid, um, just systemic full-body inflammation with MPO and SGIA off the charts, chronic fatigue, whole body just swelling. Like it was just insane how much things were found when we actually zoomed out with my providers and I actually took a second to take a breath and look at my own health versus just helping everyone else. So after finding all of that, I was like, great, now what do I do with all this information? Like I need help. Like I'm not an expert at any of this stuff. So I hired uh Dr. Adrian Chavez, who has his PhD in nutrition, and we started working on a bunch of the gut-related, immune-related inflammatory things. Four months into working together, I had some improvements, but he noticed that a lot of my symptoms and my flares and me plateauing was due to different phases of my menstrual. He suspected I had endometriosis. So he said, You need to go and see if this is something that you're dealing with, because if it is, I recommend you work with someone else because I'm not an expert in this. So I went, saw an endospecialist here in Charleston. He diagnosed me on day one. I had endometriosis, uh laparoscopic excision surgery back in November, this past November, where they found deep um stage four infiltrating endometriosis literally all over my uh basically my torso, like on the inside, around my organs, my uterus, my um ligaments, uh my rectum, uh, on my just literally littered everywhere. So if you don't know what endometriosis is, it's a full-body systemic immune-driven inflammatory condition where and the cells that align your uterus, cells like those grow outside of the uterus in the abdominal cavity. And they basically push their own hormones, have their own blood supply, and they just wreak havoc on the whole entire body because they cause tons of inflammation and a ton of just kind of hormonal chaos. So got all that cut out, and I was like, oh great, this is amazing. Now I can finally heal, and things were gonna get so much better from here. Well, they did for a little bit until they didn't. And I started working with a registered dietitian who specializes in this stuff, and we started finding more things mast cell activation syndrome, um, as well as just a lot of additional immune-immediated um issues that are exacerbated by my hypermobile L or Stanley syndrome, uh, dealing with some liver issues as well as uh pancreas. And it is just I'm like, when is this gonna end? I have literally like I am finally starting to creep up back up the mountain to improvement. But this past year, year and a half has just been riddled with validating answers to my symptoms. But just like, holy shit, what else more can these can anyone fuck with? So in a nutshell, that's kind of uh what the past year has been like.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Oh, is that all?

SPEAKER_00 19:47

That's it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

So many uh thoughts that came up as you as you shared all that. Um maybe the the most important one I think anyway is uh for the question, like that's it sounds fucking exhausting.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Yeah, it is, and not only exhausting from you know, doctor's appointments and just like collecting diagnoses like the Pokemon cards, but you know, the process of trying to pull yourself out of this shit because you're sitting here and you're like, okay, yay, so much of this makes sense. I'm so happy I'm not crazy. Like I remember crying last February and just being like, I am not crazy. Like all of this is not in my head. But as I collected more and more and more, I sat there and said, Okay, I'm ready for this to stop. I'm ready for healing to start taking place, not partial healing and then finding more, and then partial healing and finding more. Because basically, for a while we were playing whackable. We would focus on one thing, another issue would pop up, focus on that, something else popped up. And then, mind you, while all this is going on, I'm still running a business, I'm still a wife, I'm still a sister, a dog mom, trying to manage all of my own health issues, but also take care of the people in my life, which was a lot shorter than I expected it to be.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Because to that end, like with everything on the plate at once, this you said the timeline for this really started, well, you got sick with COVID in 2020, right? Um because it was 2023 that you really went, like you put down the gas for the the business, right? You've talked before about how perfectionism and fear of failure maybe stopped you from doing it sooner, which like we'll we'll get into more later. Was any of the hesitation also due to the start of this whole cascade, or not really?

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Not really, because they kind of happened at the same time and The cascade of my health got worse because I was being pushed by external forces to do things that I just couldn't physically do with what I was dealing with. And so once that was removed from the business, I could actually start to rebuild things that worked with me and what I was dealing with and my health issues versus against it. Because a big huge piece of what I'm dealing with is the nervous system. And if you're stressed out all the time, every single day, waking up, being pushed to do things that you don't want to do or ideas that you don't agree with, then guess what? Like the thing that you created because you loved it so much is now the same one of the things that is helping to drive a ton of these illnesses and issues because your nervous system kind of runs the whole show at the end of the day. And so I really had to sit back and take a look at everything and restructure a business that would support me and what I was going through, which then pushed me to further challenge my perfectionism because I am someone who puts a hundred and ten percent into everything. And my 110% is usually seen as so if you have myself and I'm given 110%, and you have your average human being who is given their 110%, I can probably give about 75%, which matches their 110%. Like that, that's just how I am wired. That's probably my ADHD, which I also got diagnosed with last fall. But I realized that I need to pull back a lot, stop trying to be perfect, stop trying to work nonstop every day, all day, try to grow the biggest business with the most employees to help the most amount of people and make the most amount of money. Because I sat back and realized that's not something I want anymore. I thought I wanted that when I had my business mentors, but it wasn't something that I actually wanted. I didn't want to chase the biggest business with the biggest paycheck. I wanted to chase the most sustainable business that had a close-knit team where I could support my team members, provide them with a great um way to provide a living for themselves and them partners, and also just help people a very, very intricate level when it comes to injury and pain.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Uh I'm gonna say this out loud so I don't forget. Maybe you can help me remember, but I want to go back to uh what was it? I lost it, Susie. Oh no! Okay, it'll come back. But staying on what you just said, where you realize the shift happened at some point of you wanted the biggest business to make all the money and like scale as much as possible. And then you got to the point where you realized that you didn't How did you get there? Because that's pretty that's a pretty big shift from the sounds of it.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Yeah, it is. And I you know, I don't really remember a certain day that I just woke up and I was like, oh, like I don't want this. But what really kind of pushed me towards that was all my health issues that I'm dealing with. Because when you're dealing with all this stuff, like you can't be pedaled to the metal every single day. And these are conditions that I'm gonna live with the rest of my life. Yes, there are improvements can be made, but there's no treatment or pill that is going to take away my HEDS, my my pots, my MCAS, my endometriosis. Like these are lifelong conditions. And I I sat back and realized, like, do I want to be and feel miserably sick my whole life, but have a ton of money? Or do I want to feel as best as I can and actually enjoy my freaking life?

SPEAKER_01 25:54

I know that when this goes out, there's going to be probably more than one, but at least one clinician who is also a hard-driving, 110% giving, lifelong high performer who is somewhere along the journey that that you've just outlined and that we're still exploring. Either someone who's like in the valley or in the gap between, I used to be able to do this. This was no problem, but it is a problem, for whatever reason. Or someone who's maybe f I'll say further along, who's started to reconcile, like you have. Hey, this is what I wanted before, but this is my reality now, and this is now the new set of goals. I know you said earlier, like you you've done a lot of inner work, you've been in therapy, and that sort of thing. I asked how did you get here in part because what I found for myself and for a lot of other people like us who might identify as perfectionists, recovering control freaks, type A, anybody in like the health and rehab spaces, because you have to be competitive, you have to be put together, you have to perform high at a high level to get into rehab or to be a good coach, because you need to differentiate yourself and get good client results. And like we all get into this shit because we care about it. Presumably. If it's if you got into this profession to get rich, you picked the wrong profession. At least to get rich fast. Um letting go of what you wanted before. And I don't know if it's true for you, but especially when there's comparison that may exist, especially in social media, of seeing other people who are doing they're living your dream or are doing what you've wanted, or what maybe you still want, and you're having to reconcile with like, do I still want that? And if if yes, like is that even attainable for me? Is that support? Has that been part of the process for you, or has it been different?

SPEAKER_00 28:11

I would say it's been different because when I was started to go through all of this and made the change and the shift of where what I really wanted for my business and where I wanted it to go, I really just kind of looked at what I wanted, like outlined my life, my ideal life, instead of comparing and looking at other people in the social media space. Because and that is something that I did all the time back when I first started posing on social media like eight years ago, was or actually no, it was more than that. I think it was like nine years ago. Was the comparison, you know? Why can't I have that? Why can't I do that? And just consuming yourself with everyone else's lives and businesses and jobs and training performances. I quickly realized that that is a great way to not only make it make yourself feel like crap, but it's a great way to put yourself in a box of never really making any true meaningful change in those areas yourself because you're so busy consuming all this other stuff and say talking about the what ifs and getting angry because you don't have what these other people have. If you just took an ounce of that focus and put it on yourself and outlined some goals of what you want your life to look like and focus on what you were doing and not give a rat's ass about what anyone else is doing, then you are going to create the life that you want to. Now, I'm not saying it's going to be super quick. It can take 10 plus years for this process to happen. But I found myself putting energy into myself, my goals, my business, my people serve me way more than putting energy into other people's businesses, other people's lives, other people's training feats. And I think that was a major shift that happened in me earlier than it does in a lot of people. But I think that has been a massive positive impact on me and my life.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that. I'd agree. It does sound like that happened earlier. And I don't know for sure, but it also sounds like maybe faster than it happens for some. Like, again, I can't speak to everybody. Would you agree? Or do you think like it actually really was a long process to get to the point where you didn't actually give a rat's ass about?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

I think it was a lot faster for me than it is for a lot of people. Because even in the social media space of like, you know, getting negative comments, negative things said about me, like that stuff didn't really ever bother me a ton. Uh, just because I was so focused on what I was doing and the value that I was giving people and the clients that I was helping and the relationships I was curating, knowing that they're good intended and they're positive, that none of like the negative stuff mattered. And I really do think that uh you're just you just kind of set yourself up for failure if you only focus on the comparison. Now, something that has switched instead of the comparing, because I have friends all in social media space. I don't know if you know of um Docless Fitness, Doc Doc Alyssa Um Olnick, she's one of my close friends, and she has had some amazing business, personal, as well as her own training performance over the past year than she ever has in her whole entire lives. And if Susie back when she started this whole business and process back in undergrad, even in VT school, if that person would have gone through all this health stuff, I would have sat there and been upset. I would have been crying, I would have been one of those friends who says, you know, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you, but then cry about it later, or maybe not even comment or send her text or give her a phone call and tell her how proud I am of her. But I can tell you with full confidence, I've sat here the past year and I've cheered that girl on because she has deserved every ounce of everything that she has achieved in this past year with her business uh markers running her hundred miler. She's now working on a fun secret project that is gonna be huge when it comes out. And so I think a lot of that shift happens when you just start being happy for other people. Like you can want some of the things that they have, but you just gotta be happy for them without pulling that comparison demon into the mix because that's the thing that is not only going to tarnish relationships, but it's gonna tarnish the things that you have going on in your own lives.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yeah, I fully agree. Uh that secret project, I take it you've got insider info on what that is, but Arnold say, of course, of course you do. Um I I agree. I agree. And you know, I'm coming at it from this place of uh being probably like a lot of people, wishing that the process of shifting to not caring or not having as much focus on comparison happened is ha would happen faster than it actually is. Um and the saying is old habits die hard and it's that way for a reason because I think I think we can know these things and agree with them cognitively of like, yeah, of course, comparison is the thief of joy. Uh detachment is going to allow me to be able to receive better, and if I focus on the people and the things that I actually want, that's where my energy's gonna go. I only have so much energy and only so much time and all the things. Um and I don't know if you've run into this, but it can be really discouraging when you catch yourself in the middle of another flare. It's not what I want, but like you're in the middle of a spiral and you've been doom scrolling for 30 or 60 minutes, and you're comparison you're comparing and you're wondering what's wrong with me. What are they there yet? Why can't I be there? And you realize, oh shit, like I'm not I'm not past this yet. Which can sometimes be the perfectionism manifesting trying to be perfect as not being perfect. I don't know does any of that has it come up for you?

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Yeah, no, and I think that it was perfectly stated. And something that I have noticed in myself in the past that I'm a lot better at recognizing is noticing that, especially with a high performer, we tend to always raise the bar, continuously raise the bar for ourselves, which is why we are high performers, which is why we are successful. But we need to take a second and stop and look behind us to where that bar used to be. Because initially, when I first started my business, my bar was to have 25 signups for my for my group strength training program and supplement one-third of my income with my group training program and um one-on-one clients. Those were my goals. That's where the bar was. And here I am now, three years later, and we have like 150 one-on-one clients, we have hundreds of people in the group training program. And yeah, obviously the bar had shifted. But you need to sit and look back at where the bar used to be. Because if you're continually raising it and you're not acknowledging that you're raising it, or acknowledging how far you've come, or realizing and sitting here, hey, this is the life that I dreamed of three years ago, then you're gonna continue to set yourself up for disappointment and you're never gonna be proud of yourself, and you're always gonna get sucked into that perfectionism trap.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

You said before that this past year, you know, not the standalone year, there's been the whole saga as far as like health evolutions for you that existed before it. But that the last year has taught you a lot, and it's been a blessing in disguise. Uh I don't know if this is one of the lessons or the blessings, but perspective and that that clarity on like needing to look back and check in on where the goalposts used to be, and having to pull back from 110% to Susie's 70. Has that been one of the changes, or has it been different when you say the lessons learned?

SPEAKER_00 36:07

No, I definitely think those are some of the changes. Another big change that I have taken is just slowing down. Like, stop doing everything so gosh darn fast. Like, stop rushing to make your coffee in the morning, stop rushing through your work tasks, stop rushing the date night with your husband, or rushing your walk so that you can get back home and get to your phone. Like, just slow down. Like, take the time to make your coffee or your matcha in the morning. I feel like we are in a day and age where like hustle culture is put on a pedestal, which yes, there will be some times in your life where hustle culture is going to serve you. And there's also going to be times in your life where it's going to totally blow your life and your health up and you have to reevaluate things. And that's kind of where I ended up landing. So just slowing down, just walking slower, scrolling on your phone slower, typing an email slower, walking slower. Just slow down and try to not make your nervous system feel like you're being chased by a bear all day long. And then with that, I had to rewrite what my identity was because my identity was highly and heavily placed within Susie, the heavy barbell lifter, Susie the runner, Susie the badass business owner, pedal to the metal kind of gal. And I could I couldn't do those things anymore. Those were those were some of the things that were contributing to this burnout, which led to an exacerbation of all of these different health issues. So I had to sit here and realize, oh crap, if I don't have fitness, what else do I have? What else do I fill my time with? And that's where I started to find hobbies like crocheting, bird watching. I literally have like three bird feeders in the backyard, a bird bath, binoculars by the door, a bird book of the Carolinas. I've learned I learned to crochet actually after endometriosis surgery because I said I need something to take up my time that isn't working out because obviously I wasn't working out after surgery and not on a phone or a screen. So I can now crochet sweaters for my dogs and stuffed animals for my niece and nephew. I've also gotten into gardening with an herb garden and growing wildflowers. I've spent more time with my dogs, with training them new things and just literally sitting there and petting them and not having anything else going on. I do more back porch sitting where I just sit there and just watch my hummingbirds eat out of their feeder and watch the baby birds chirp in the fern. And then just trying to learn how to be better at doing nothing. I feel like nowadays people think they always have to be doing something. They have to be watching a show, they have to be scrolling on their phone, they have to have their hands andor their minds busy. But you need to also learn how to just do nothing and just exist. And that is painstakingly one of the hardest things that I've had to learn and try to do. Like I used to have to set timers of like five minutes and just doing nothing. Yeah, it I was just itching in my skin. But now it's a heck of a lot easier.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

Sounds like training in the gym.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

Literally, it's training, but the opposite of what training feels like.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

I'm really glad that you said one that you're sharing this honestly, which is like that's your MO, so it's not new, but I'm still grateful for it. Uh, but also saying that it's hard. Because I know lots of people are gonna hear that and be like, oh my god, it's not just me.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

Oh, it's so hard. And you know, just because I'm here starting to be on the other side of this identity chef, like it's still hard. I had past two days were really, really good days, health-wise, energy-wise. I lifted two days ago and I went on a run with one of my dogs yesterday, and I crying after my run. So like, I have not felt this good in so long. And then I woke up this morning and I had a ton of fatigue. And that fatigue is probably a direct relation of having two really good days where I did a lot more activity than my body's used to. And it was hard today to start my day and be like, why don't I feel as good as I did the past two days? And, you know, having that identity shift of, hey, today's not a day where you're gonna go in the gym and be the badass lifter that you were two days ago. You need a quieter day with some of your other hobbies and some lower level work tasks that aren't gonna strain you too much, and then you're gonna get on this podcast and it's gonna be a perfect time to talk about all this stuff. But it is not easy, especially coming from someone who lifted four or five days a week, ran, was hitting PRs almost every week, had no limitations in her training, her body, what she could do. And now being this human who does have limitations.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Um I think I'm gonna double down on it too, because for all of us as perfectionists or recovering perfectionists, um what you just said about having having like two really good days and then you don't. Um for me, that was like being in the hospital where I'd have a good day and the next day I had a fever for no reason. And it also applies probably more broadly to people who are dealing with with injury or other health conditions again, where like, oh, I had a really good day, I had a really good week. And then the next day is not that. And it can lead to that spiral really quickly of like, what did I do? What's wrong with me? Will I ever feel good again? Was that was that it? Is it all downhill from here? You're not familiar or no?

SPEAKER_00 41:37

Oh my gosh, I have those thoughts still all the time. All the time.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Um which again is part of why it can be so tricky and sneaky as the perfectionism manifests is like, oh yeah, I'm making progress, I'm doing the work, which probably is true. And then I just I think I think what what I've been hungry for the most as a person as I've gone through my journey is the validation that like yeah, dude, this is hard. And you ain't the only one. Just knowing that, knowing that there are other people out there who are going through that and maybe a different flavor is really, really helpful where it's like, hey, I'm not, I'm not broken, I'm not defective. This is just hard.

SPEAKER_00 42:25

I wish more people would talk about it too. Because, you know, scrolling on social, obviously you talk about your hardships and your struggles and kind of what you're going through, but a lot of people don't. And I can understand to an extent because social media, you basically get to share what you feel like you're comfortable sharing. And for some people, sharing their hardships can be more of a negative experience for them. And at the same light, if you're only ever sharing positive things and your PRs and how much you're training and your business success, and you never really share any hardships at all, even just a little hint, it's gonna be really hard for people to relate to you because everyone has shit going on, whether it's finances, whether it's family, whether it's their own health, whether it's kids, dogs, whatever. Everyone has some shit going on in their lives. And so when I started sharing more about what I was going through, when I felt mentally ready, so I didn't start sharing all of this right out of the gate last February. I waited until like the end of the summer where I was like, okay, I think I'm I think I can talk about this stuff without profusely crying. People really latched onto that. They're like, oh my gosh, I had no idea you were dealing with this. I'm dealing with the same things, or I'm dealing with similar things. Thank you so much for sharing. Everything we see on this app is just polished and perfect. And you now I have a different view of you because you are actual, like a real human being. So I think there is a huge positive to sharing at least a little bit of insight of what you may be going through when you're having a heart. You just have to be the one to draw the balance. boundary lines of how much you're willing to share or not, because there's definitely, I mean, I'm I'm an open book here on this podcast, but a typical day on social media, I definitely have boundaries of things that I just won't talk about because people will immediately run to the comment section or run to my messages and ask about their issues. Because social media is a very self-serving place to be in where people are on there for themselves. And so it can be a little bit dehumanizing when you're talking about your own struggles and then people are on there, well, what about my struggles? Or I'm dealing with this. How can you help me? Or what things are going to help me, me, me, me, me, me, when I'm sitting here as a human opening up to you about what I'm going. So I mean there's definitely pros and cons to both of it. Uh I just wish people would just talk more about stuff being hard. I feel like less people would struggle alone if we did.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

I fully agree with you, which is another reason why I've been looking forward to this podcast since we decided we were going to do it. And I'm grateful for you taking the time and being so open. Hold on my allergies are killing me Susan one second.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

You're totally fine.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

Um my parallel example or experience with that was when I was home from the hospital this would have been within that first month of getting out because I was stable enough to go home but I wasn't well and I I hid from social media. Like I knew there was a part of me that was like I kind of want to post or at least like talk to people but then there was the fear of being seen and being seen as the person in that spot a lot more frail way different. I was a different completely different person than who I was on the front side before going into the hospital. And I was like really wrestling with the question of should I post? Should I tell people where I'm at? Uh and I was talking about it with my wife who the thing I forgot about before I'll come back to but uh your experiences are very similar to my wife's experiences and I want to come back to that and the gaslighting sometimes happens. Um I was talking about it with with Ashley and I was saying I don't want to just make this all about me. Like I want to share where I'm at honestly but I also want to serve people so like should I do this should I not? And she just looked at me and was like people want something to care about. Let them care. And when I did share uh it was it was scary for one. And again I hid for the better part of that month. So totally with you in terms of deciding for yourself where when you're ready or more ready because I think it's probably still gonna feel scary for most of us to decide to make that step forward anyway. And then also what your boundaries are moving forward. But when I posted that stuff and we just started to share more where I was in the process people were like thank you.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

I'm just like you're like what?

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Then I guess yes you did like no thank you because like I'm going through some shit and it's hard and some people say but it's not as hard as what you're going through so I think I'm gonna be okay or others say I'm going through this really hard stuff and like still it's the same conclusion of this gives me motivation or this makes me know that I'm not paying this. Which comes back to Yeah I also want more people to talk about this which is another reason why I'm grateful that we can at least get to put another drop in the bucket. Um going back to my wife because you mentioned small intestinal bacterial overgrowth uh you mentioned a few other things which not all of which uh some are similar on my wife's journey, some are not but I know many people who have POTS and uh hypermorbile Ellers Daniel syndrome and MCAS and you mentioned like not only was it playing whack a mole and playing one thing after another after another uh but also some of the gaslighting of yourself. Um a lot of these things you can speak to it probably even better the awareness and the credibility or the willingness of healthcare providers to eye roll. Yeah to hear these these experiences of of people especially and investigate further and not just dismiss it out of hand. And then also more of the understanding of what these these conditions and syndromes are is better than it used to be but it still ain't great. Um would you agree or would you say that give a different assessment of that situation?

SPEAKER_00 49:08

Oh I would 100% agree. And you know I will agree that it also it is better now than it used to be but it's still absolute trash. It is absolute trash. Like even if we just look at endometriosis specifically it is suspected that endo affects about one in 10 women so about the same rate as diabetes in the United States and diabetes I think has uh 40,000 or yeah I think it's 4000 times more funding and more research and attention than endo. And that's awful because look how common this is and most women don't even know they have it. And the average time from when symptoms start and women start going to see providers about this stuff to when they actually get diagnosed and actually can get treatment is about 10 years. So it's 10 years of dealing with this being in excruciating pain having a ton of other overlapping symptoms especially when it comes to the gut and immune system just being told to oh have it lost the wine before you have sex if it's painful or try to go to therapy if it's probably just anxiety or have you tried losing weight or exercising more or eating more fruits and vegetables. I think you should start there versus actually taking patients seriously when they talk about how much their symptoms are affecting their day-to-day life. And you're right it is way more prominent in women's care in the healthcare world world than it is men's. Just look at erectile dysfunction we have a teeny little blue pill to help with that which love that for you guys out there who deal with that but look how much funding goes into that versus women's health when it comes to endometriosis. And I am going to kind of lump pops and H EDS and MCAS in there because those do those do affect men but they notoriously affect women more than they do men. So it's just it's just crazy and also infuriating at the same time to realize and live the life of how difficult it is to get these diagnoses. Unfortunately I'm extremely stubborn and outspoken and direct when I talk to healthcare providers still respectful but extremely direct and I get what I want most of the time out of my appointments because I don't take no for an answer. But most people who don't work in healthcare or aren't as educated on how to approach a doctor's visit with chronic conditions or just kind of think that the doctor knows everything and takes that and runs with it. For these people they don't have that same experience and they get undiagnosed for so many years and kind of just suffer in silence sort of thing. And of course you're going to gaslight yourself if you go to a doctor's office and they tell you it's anxiety or just lose weight or whatever because you're like, oh well the doctor said I'm fine so I guess I'm fine but am I fine? Because I'm having all these symptoms and my life is just kind of in shambles because I can't even get up and live a normal day in my life.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Yeah. Um you know I I the lens that I look at these these things through is it's different because I haven't had to live through that but my wife has to some degree I've got three little girls at home. I think about that I think about how how it's going to be as as they get older and whatever comes up are they going to have what I think the standard of care should be for everybody which is to be heard and seen to be believed as far as their experiences and then also to have appropriate action taken based on best evidence and just generally giving a shit about them.

unknown 52:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

And you know I something that I wish more clinicians, physicians, whoever in healthcare would do when someone comes in with something that you don't really know if they have it, you don't know about it, say I believe you I don't know what the next steps are, but I'm gonna find out yeah instead of saying you know it's just anxiety go to therapy drink wine because I we my team and I say that to clients all the time if there's something that shows up musculoskeletally or cognitively when it comes to pain science that we don't know how to navigate we say I believe you I'm not sure where to go from here but I'm gonna find out and then we'll collectively all get together in a team meeting we'll do some more research and then we'll return to that client with some more answers or some guidance or a place to refer them to if we need to it's not oh it's probably anxiety. Just you know spend some some more time out in sunshine and have you know I'll see you next year for your chat like that is not how healthcare needs to be no I I agree I think that's unacceptable that latter example and the former you know uh may normalize saying I don't know and I'm gonna go find out right um it's it's some I don't know where I heard that first or some version of it, but it was earlier in my career and it's always felt like a really important a simple thing and a really important thing to have at the forefront.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

And there are plenty of examples I can think of from my time at the clinic and still now and I just think that this is this this might make someone listening feel uncomfortable uh but this is this is real. Like when it comes to the core philosophy of who I am as a as a person, as a coach, as a clinician and for my business uh the the root of it is love. And my favorite definition of love comes from Thomas Aquinas, which is desiring the good of the other person. So if if I want the best for you and I don't know how to get you there, I don't know you know how to explain what's going on for you, but there's clearly a problem you're clearly not where you want to be my duty I think is to tell you one thank you for the trust and hopefully there is enough trust in communication and relationship to even get to that place in the first place. Um and then saying like I don't yet know what's going on what to do from here but let me go try to figure that out and if I can't do it let me at least do what I can to point you in the right direction of someone who will be better fit or give you what you need now. And I I still I still remember clients who didn't get better. And maybe I worked with them earlier in the in my career where like these ideas and my experiences uh were less developed um and like I st I remember them like they s the fact that they stick with me is encouraging. It means that I I care. Do you find that's true for you and and or your team of like the people who are in a really tough situation? Maybe we're talking about chronic pain. Maybe we're talking about multiple comorbidities and they're not getting better or they're not getting better nearly as quickly as they want or you want and maybe it's not the happy quote unquote happy ending it do those still happen for one and two how do you and the team approach that oh yeah those still happen and for anyone who says oh we have a 100% client success rate they're lying like that is that is just it's just not statistically even possible because you can be the best coach the best clinician the best whatever and you're still gonna have people that don't get better with working with you.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

Sometimes that comes down to to behavior change meaning the client is not ready to make the changes necessary to have results. Sometimes it's due to a lack of the coach or clinician's motivational interviewing skills to not kind of help them uh realize more attainable goals or what the process is going to look like. And sometimes it just comes down to just letting people accidentally fall through the cracks. You think you're checking in on them, you think you're giving them the programming uh the exercises the pain science education to kind of help but maybe it's not sticking with them because you're explaining it in a way that they don't understand or you're talking over them during calls. So I mean I think there's so many factors at play which which is hard to say like you know exactly why someone didn't get better or they left coaching and worked with someone else or they left coaching and they weren't any better than they were when they were when they started working with you. But that's where you have to kind of sit back and reflect on the interactions you had, how you approach training if you really let them spend time to talk. I feel something that I've learned over the years is when you are talking to clients andor patients, a lot of times their whole entire life they've just had healthcare providers talk over them and talk to them about what they're dealing with and not just let the client or patient have the floor to just talk about how they're feeling what they're experiencing and you literally sitting there saying back to our whole thing I believe you thank you for sharing that sounds hard. Your feelings are valid a lot of times that is what a lot of people need and that can shift the whole relationship with clinician client patient in order to then use motivational interviewing skills to find foot in the door to get them to a place where you can improve and even if you do all that stuff there's going to be some people that just don't improve and that's where you can sit here and say hey we tried all of these different things I talked to the other people in my team about what you're going on and we came up with even more ideas. We tried these ideas these aren't working so how would you feel about me referring you to someone who I think who can do a better job or can try to find a puzzle piece that I'm just not getting because it's okay to not get everyone better. That does not mean you failed that means that there may be some gaps for you to work on to be better and learn from and sometimes it's just not a good and you have to sit here and be okay with it but Susie my perfectionist doesn't like it I know and it it's it's hard and you know we have we don't have a lot of clients that don't succeed or don't do well but we have some and it's funny what we're talking about this I was actually making a post about this on my list of like things I want to make content about just because it is something that happens and you can't beat yourself up about it. And it's easier to focus on the clients that are struggling and what am I not doing to help them what can I do more or why aren't they getting better or they left because they didn't get better versus all of the other clients that you are making a massive meteor size change in their life because of the things you're doing to help yeah as we're talking about it the more that I think that rehab and coaching is a lot like improv in the sense that uh the the foundational rule of improv is the yes and rule.

unknown 1:01:05

Right?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:06

I'm so excited you just said that because I am I have changed and turned into a yes and gal and I literally have that written in my notes for today to talk about. So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:18

Um because it's book um I remember having a conversation with uh my good friend John Flagg and this is as we were working together inside of the Honey Badger project healthcare business incubator for for coaches and clinicians and there was I can't remember the situation but somebody somebody didn't have the outcome that they wanted that we wanted whatever the case was and we were doing the postmortem the review alright what happened how did we get here thanks and um forget what I said but it was essentially to the effect of like oh yeah this person didn't do these things uh that they were supposed to or they said they were going to uh but like is it and it was an honest question is it is it my fault? And John was like it's yes and we can't we'll never take away the the autonomy and responsibility people have to participate in in the process whether it's rehab whether it's coaching and like you said we I I think we can always be better. Everyone can yeah I don't I haven't met anybody who's like at the mountaintop and if you think you're at the mountaintop you should probably reassess things because you're probably not um so I think that's also really important for anybody who identifies as an as a perfectionist because as you said one there's the psychological negative bias waiting where I mean you see it social media you see it clinic you see it wherever uh it takes one negative thing and that's the thing you fixate on and you discount all of like the tens or hundreds of positive things that you know exist and are there in front of you but it's easy to hand wave those away or the people whose life whose life you absolutely change for the better. And like their life is better probably their kids' life are better and because the kids' life's better their kids' life is gonna be better and you had a hand you helped to make that happen. And it's it's not only focusing on the good either it's the yes and of alright what h what are the facts of the situation? Where could I have been better and what can I learn for the next and what went well and what wasn't mine to control and it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

It's so hard and and here we go it's necessary for growth. Yeah and if you aren't doing these things and asking these hard questions when it comes to your proficiency in treating clients and patients then you're doing yourself and your patients a big disservice like you need to ask yourself the hard questions so that you can grow, you can be better, you can learn because if you don't you're gonna be stuck and you're gonna be stagnant and you're probably some point putting up unintentional walls when it comes to working with the multiple different people and personalities and presentations that you come across. And I also really do like yes and for people going through hard stuff. That is probably my favorite piece of advice when it comes to coaching clients and conditions coaching clients as well as myself going through stuff to give to someone when they're going through something hard. Because if you sit here and I've gotten so much flack on this on social media because as someone who has a ton of chronic illnesses in the chronic illness space a lot of people don't like because look through some things with the lens of positivity because I look for hope and they find hope as harmful and toxic positivity and I am dismissing other people's lived experiences and this, that and the other. But these people are not thinking with yes and because yes this season can be hard and you can still have things to be grateful for. Yes, you can have multiple chronic illnesses and you can meet yourself where you're at when it comes to exercise and your daily activity. Yes, you can be grieving who you once were before getting all these chronic illnesses and you can still be grateful to be alive on this green earth. Like there is so much room for two things being true at once. And I feel like people generally just focus on the negative thing or generally just Just focus on the positive thing, and that's where you have your blinders up, and you're not able to see the full picture when things are hard andor when you are coaching andor training clients.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:13

Yeah. Um I've heard this particular thing from is in terms of getting flack for being too positive, is uh is Dr. Taylor Goldberg, the hyper.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:27

She and I talk all the time about this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:29

Not surprised. Taylor's amazing. Um and yeah. I it sounds like I'm just gonna keep eating once. Should I get flax, so be it. Uh it sounds like there's a lot of projection going on.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:51

And none of that discounts the and the difficult but it's it's a wild thing to see somebody like you who's in it, and like not on the other side, all like shining. Hey, it's great. You're actively going through this. There's much that is not resolved. And think that makes a voice like yours carry that much more weight, or at least be something to think about by saying, hey, this is the hard part. These are the shitty elements, this is what I'm gonna And also, I'm not a victim. This is how I choose to respond. And you know, if that doesn't land for people, cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:45

If that doesn't land for people, they have some work to do internally.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:49

I would agree.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:51

Which is the hard it's the hard part, and a lot of people don't want to do it. But that is something, you know, Taylor and I have talked a ton about too. A lot of people who respond negatively to finding some sort of positive or silver lining with all of this are people who tend to have the victim mentality, and are people who almost get pleasure in being sick in being chronically ill, and people who will probably never get better if they stay in this mindset.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:28

No one's coming to save you. No which you and I can both sit here and say that at this in the same breath as we acknowledge that people's circumstances can make it really difficult. Exhaust being exhausted and having had support, that's a recurring theme that if we found the title of the episode of Yes and Yes, I was like that. And yeah, me too. Um I I think of people like Victor Frankel from his work Man's Search for Meaning. And the idea that between the stimulus and the response, there's the space to choose. And we don't get to control many things at We didn't get to control all these conditions that started popping up for you and that you now have to deal with. I didn't get to control the fact that I'm illegally blind, losing my vision, almost dead. Nor did the person listening to this get to choose all the circumstances that are weighing happy. And what is up to us is to decide how we're gonna put forward. And it doesn't it doesn't have to be all at once. I don't think it has to be that you pretend that you're okay if you're not. I think that you have to make space for pain and the frustration and all of the things that come up. And that might look like a prolonged recovering grieving process. And the journey of trying to figure out who you are now and what your identity is, especially if it's a different one than you had before. And it's evident, it's abundantly evident that you've had the 100%.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:18

And I agree with, you know, everything you just said. And one thing I do want to make sure people listening, especially if they're going through, you know, some chronic health condition, whatever it may be, is when you do have to make that identity shift, please do not try and make your illness, your diagnosis, your whatever, your huge part of your identity, or the sole center of your identity that everything else revolves around. Because the second you do that, you're gonna start to lose yourself even more. I'm someone who has all of these chronic health conditions, but I am I'm not those conditions. I am a business owner, a wife, a dog mom, a lifter, a sister, an aunt, a friend. Those those are my the things that I create in my identity around. If I were to give in to everything when it comes to my H E DS, my POTS, my MCAS, the all the chronic crap that I'm dealing with, I mean that's when those conditions quote unquote win. And that's when you can start to spiral into an even darker, deeper place that it's a lot harder to crawl out. Yes, you want to acknowledge these diagnoses, yes, your feelings are valid around them, and you are so much more than someone with cancer, someone who is slowly losing their vision, or someone who can barely back squat 65 pounds now. We're we're so much more than that. And the sooner that you can realize that and work through it, and I highly recommend seeing a therapist about it, the better off you're going to be, not only in the short term, but also in the long term.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:03

Uh I'll I'll second that. Uh I think that we've come a decent bit as far as removing some stigma around seeking help, professional help on the mental health side of things. And working with my counselor, which I've done three separate occasions, one of them very recently, have been some of the best decisions I've made for myself. And through that journey, especially particularly through my journey of realizing that the person I was before before the hospital, before progressive vision loss diagnosis, before blank is different. Like that guy's gone. Uh giving space for that grief and then also the exploration question, which is really beefy and really heavy, who am I? If I can't lift like I used to, or if I can't run the business at in this way to this level. And it's it's it's probably not one you answer overnight. I also truly believe that our dignity and our identity does come from what we can't do. I don't believe that you are any less of a person if you can't lift heavy, or you can't see like everybody else, or you can't blank. I really believe that your dignity and your identity is more intrinsic. And I just I just believe that you don't have to be done if you don't I wholeheartedly agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

And Peggy, backing off of that, you know, you are only placing your identity and your happiness and things like how much load you can lift on the bar or how far you can run. Like I almost feel sorry for you because yes, those things are fun and they're important and they're badass, but there's so much more to you as a human being than just the things that you can do. And it's I really appreciate you mentioning, you know, grieving who you once were before the hospital and everything that you're going through. Because I'd go through the same process. There is, I'm trying to look for it right now. There's actually a post that I did, it was right uh when 2020 happened. And I'm in this cute yellow dress and I'm sitting there and I'm smiling, and I have my cocktail in my hands. And basically, the caption is just talking about 2019 was the best year of my life. I am finishing up physical therapy school, I got engaged to the love of my life. I just listing all of these things that are amazing for me. And the last part of it is I cannot wait to see what 2020 has in store for me. It's gonna be the best year yet. And sitting here looking back at the trajectory that 2020 has set up for my life and my health. I almost had just had to laugh. I literally just laughed.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:12

Morgan Freeman voice, it was in fact the best in every life.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:17

It was probably one of the worst that has then set her up for so much more stuff that happened, but I also looked who that girl was, full of life, bubbly energy, and just, you know, could do anything. And who I am now with the limitations I have, like, yeah, like I still grieve that girl sometimes. My husband and I have had conversations about it, of where he's, you know, he's like, Yeah, you know, sometimes I do miss her too, because that's the woman that he fell in love with. But then he will turn around and say, you know, that whole thing we said in our vows and sickness and health, like seeing you kind of go through all of this and be as strong as you could, and like the growth that has happened out of it. And you haven't been able to carry the boat over the past year. And he has said, you know, I have been someone who stepped up and carried the boat for us. And I'm just like, there's just so much good that can come out of this if you can just view it through a different lens, and you can still grieve who you were in the past.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:23

Amazing. I know that a lot, if not all, of what we're talking about is finding somebody who's going to find somebody who needs to hear this right now. Uh for that coach or clinician who is maybe sitting in their car, they're at the parking lot, either going into work, home, wherever else they might be, who's carrying a lot right now. Is there anything else you'd want to say to them or make sure that they know?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:54

I want them to know that they're loved. You know, it may not be from a partner, it may not be from a family member. You are loved by someone out there. I promise you. And you are not alone. Everyone is going through something. Some people go through harder things than others, but at the end of the day, I really do think the magnitude of what is considered hard is something, it's like the eye of the potholder. Yeah. Obviously, you went through something insanely hard, and someone else can be going through, I don't know, let's say a diagnosis of diabetes, which objectively speaking, what you went through was harder, but you both can still have the same feelings about what you're going through without, you know, trying to one up another, if you kind of get where I'm saying. So I don't know. You're loved, you're not alone in this, your feelings are valid of what you're going through, and there's so much help out there to get you to a place where you can start thinking more like you and I are here today on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:07

Amazing. I don't have anything to add to that. I think that was really important. Well, hold on. That's actually not entirely true. I have a lot to add to it. I think that was important, and I have a lot to add to it. I could keep you here all day, but I'm not going to. I just think that if you're open to it, maybe we do a round two.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:25

I was about to say, I think we need to do a round two because we had so much more plan to talk about from like the coaching clinician standpoint, and we just got, I don't know, rolling on everything we've talked about this whole, which is great, but I think we're we're definitely gonna need a part two.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:39

100%. We'll make it happen. Uh but Susie, thank you for the time, for the honesty, for bringing you, just as you always do. And uh just I know it's it's important, it's valuable for me, and I know it'll be for a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:55

Thank you for having me and for you know being just as an open book as I was about everything that you've gone through with your own health and your own journey. And again, you know, I feel like the more people can talk about this stuff, the better. And I really am with you that there's gonna be some coach, clinician, maybe someone who's not even a coach or a clinician, just a general person who's going to hopefully listen to this and use it as a catalyst to try improve their life, whether it's physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, whatever. And I think if we can just help affect one person, then this was well worth the time of an hour and a half that we've been gapping about this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:38

100%. If uh people want to find you and want more Susie, where should they go look?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:44

Yeah, so you can find me on uh social media. Instagram is my main platform. My username is at dr.suzy.squats. I'm also on TikTok, not really. I just usually just repost there. Uh I'm also on YouTube. I know we didn't talk about like treating and training clients, but I have a whole entire free exercise library on YouTube too. Same username. And then my website is www.moveyourbonespt.com. And that's where you can find more info about group training, one-on-one coaching, and a ton of really educational stuff on the blog and a ton of free downloads too.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:20

Amazing. Check it out, it'll be worth your time. And if you're not following Susie, uh, what are you doing with your life? Go fix that right now. And with that, again, Susie, thanks so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:30

Of course, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:32

Thanks so much for listening to another episode of Unbreakable with me, your host, Jared Maynard. If you found what we talked about today to be useful, if it served you, please consider leaving a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Hit that follow or subscribe button to keep up with the show. And if you are a coach or clinician, if you're running on empty, you're giving everything to everybody else, you are exactly who I built Unbreakable Strength to serve. The link to Book A Call with Me is in the show notes. I'd love to hear where you are and see how we can help you get where you want to go. Go check that link out in the show notes, as well as the links to a few other goodies. You can follow me on socials, and until next time, my friend, you are not done yet.