73 Surgeries, Paralysis & Near Death… Why It’s Always Too Soon to Quit | Jay Setchell

In this episode, I sit down with Jay Setchell—a man who has gone through 73 surgeries, faced a near-death experience, and still found a way to move forward with purpose.

This isn’t just a story about survival. It’s about what happens when life keeps hitting you, and you make a decision not to drift.

Jay shares how staying mentally engaged became his lifeline through recovery, why keeping your mind busy isn’t just helpful—but necessary—and how he built resilience through discipline, responsibility, and forward thinking. From growing up on a working farm to navigating some of the toughest physical and mental challenges imaginable, his perspective forces you to rethink what “hard” really means.

We also talk about something most people don’t realize—they’re not stuck, they’re drifting. And drifting slowly pulls you away from who you could become.

If you’ve been feeling off, unmotivated, or uncertain about your direction, this conversation will challenge you to take control again. To stay engaged. To plan forward. And to stop waiting for life to get easier before you start moving.

Because the truth is—clarity doesn’t come first. Action does.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to From Drift to Direction, the podcast where real life turns into clarity, confidence, and action. Here is the truth. We all experience moments of drift. Then something shifts. And that's when we find direction. And what's exactly that the show is about? Today's episode is powerful. My guest has faced things most people wouldn't survive. Multiple deaths, near death experiences, 73 surgeries, and paralysis. And yet, he's still building, still pushing, still believing. This is not just a story about survival. This is a story about mindset, faith, and never quitting. Jay, welcome to the show. Hey Patar, good to be here, sir. Thank you. Thank you so much. I want to start here before the mindset, before the strength, take me back to the moments where life felt uncertain and where things were drifting.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

I don't know that I ever felt like I was truly drifting. I I was raised on a working farm, and because of the seasons changing from snow in the winter and hot in the summer, and the crops growing and and and um a lot of livestock growing and getting bigger and going to market, there was always change going on. So it wasn't like uh let's just suppose living in the middle of Florida where it doesn't get really cold and it stays kind of hot and humid, and you it it's you you kind of have the same thing all year, kind of like in central Texas. Um it it it'll change some, but not dramatically where it's 35 below zero and or a hundred degrees. And so I always felt like I had uh a sense of responsibility, a sense of things that we're doing. And since the seasons change so much and you've always got something going and looking for, um, and it was my my parents were very good parents, and I got brought up good. So, and I was always working, I mean, all through high school, I worked nights till 12:30. Well, from sophomore on. So I know when I get out of high school, if I if I if I had any drift time, it would be between when I graduated and when I went in the Marine Corps. And it was kind of like it because I when I enlisted in the Marine Corps, I couldn't get in right away. I I they were calling for a lot, but I had a situation with my grandfather having had a heart attack, and I got put on for about a six-month delay. And that six months, I just I was waiting for this to happen over here, coming from being busy, busy, and I'd already quit quit the job. And so for probably for five or six months, I I probably I stayed busy, but I I had no direction. Okay, I guess is a good way to put it. Right. But after that, after getting in the Marine Corps, I mean that that that gives you direction, period. It doesn't matter, but but uh but the way I was raised was um our parents raised us children. I had two sisters and a brother, and we were really raised not to get out of the house petar, but more um that when we left home, we were responsible and and understood the ramifications and the and what you needed to do in life, whether you were going to be an entrepreneur or move it forward or do whatever. But I of course now that's in the mid-60s, too, mid mid you know, 67, I got out of high school. But and things were a little different. Now it's so fast and there's so much more to do, right? You know, and you're aware of more because of social media and all the stuff that's out there, where we didn't have that. I mean, if you were in a can't raised on a farm in a small town in the middle of a cornfield, you had to find what something to do. But so I yeah, I don't I I don't feel at any point because I was always aggressive, I was always trying to move forward with something.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Yeah, I mean, I feel like a lot of people are drifting without knowing that they're drifting. I I I feel like your story is pretty amazing. Uh, you know, it I can say 73 surgeries, paralysis, and near death experience. Have you ever felt during that time that you were drifting, that you you feel stuck, that you feel like uh you know, powerless? I didn't really.

SPEAKER_03 4:52

I I I I I guess powerless from the sense that like I spent a year in the naval hospital when I was in the Marine Corps from dying, and when they got me back, and I spent eight months and eight and a half months in traction in a bed, but I was working on my third-degree burns and trimming them up myself. So I always, you know, I I I my grandmother had a little saying it said, busy hands, busy mind. So if you're working on something, you're thinking about something. So, you know, I took my own blood pressure, I gave myself my own shots, I I cut the dead skin off my own burns. I I always stayed busy doing something and looking with a vision towards the future. And I know that there's an old saying too, Petar, that it says uh uh sweat dries, blood clots, and broken bones heal. So suck it up. You know, you got it, it's just gonna take time. And when you look at that, after I got out of my comas and the concern with me staying alive was gone. I mean, in other words, I was gonna stay alive, then it's just a matter of taking the time and knowing things heal slowly. If you break your leg right now and it's a compound fracture in your femur, it's gonna be harder and longer than if you just broke it. But you know, in a year from now, you can go back jogging or walking or with a leg brace if you need. But so I I don't I really don't think so. I think that I always kept the mindset at 76 years old now. I'm thinking I'm already planning what I want to do when I'm 80 and 85 and 90. Wow. So I'm I'm looking ahead to try doing it. But I agree, I I look back at some of the folks that I knew from my hometown, and they're still in my hometown, and they they worked for say the street department for 40 years.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

And they they retired with a gold watch, and they're still living in the same house that they, you know, and and now to them that's success. They're fine, they're happy. But but to me, to me personally, and it's not to down net them at all or their goals, they did just kind of drift along, they didn't move, move, and do other things, but that's not everybody, right? You know, not everybody's an Elon Musk coming up with all the different companies he does, exactly. Uh so there's a difference in there.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

I mean, if you think about it, that's a lot of surgeries, right? You've you've gone through a lot during that time. Yeah, sure. So you're recovering for a year, what you're saying. And uh, I feel like what you're saying, I mean, the recipe is that keeping your mind busy didn't allow you to get you know depressed or start thinking negative or start, you know, trying to. I mean, there are many people that they would probably end their lives, you know, if they're in that situation, because people are in a different level. Uh, but I feel like that's that's a great point that keeping your mind busy and kind of thinking about the future, because you're you're applying the next 10 years, you you know, you're moving forward and you're thinking uh to towards the direction of the future, which not many people are. I mean, people sometimes they've they're they're stuck in their own weights and they're just day by day, you know.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Right, right. And I I you know to jump on something where you were talking about, like in the military in the Marine Corps hospital, in the naval hospital in the Marine Corps. I mean, I've spent between all my surgeries, my rehab from my broken neck, and and dying from the drowning. Uh, I've spent over all right, almost four years in hospitals. Wow. Almost four years of my life in hospitals. You've you've moved around the world and not spent four years in a city on the halfway across the world. It's like, so in between that, it gives you plenty of time to think. And then I started several different businesses, you know, and I worked a corporate life that we traveled uh nine months out of the year. But I've started uh 11 or 12 companies, and some of them have done, I never had one that did bad, you know, some weren't as much as I wanted, but two or three of them, well, four of them it went really good. Right. So I I don't I don't have anything to complain about, but to your point, I was always active, and maybe it's my ADHD, or you know, and ADHD can can be bad, but I also had PTSD too from my head, my skull was crushed, I mean I my face was ripped off, I I was in bad condition, and and uh uh I I I used to get angry a lot, you know, but I would I would take that anger out on making something happen, which was which kept me busy. So I I I think that was part of what helped keep me going. And in ADHD, Pitar, if you harness it, you can do multiple things at one time. And so you're always busy, like, oh, I got this to do, that to do, this to do, take care of that.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

And I don't have time to we'll keep it going in the way, yes, sir.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

And I so maybe if nothing else, for the people that are listening, that that drift is find something and look re you know, it's like find a really good book and then find a few things in it and underline it and highlight it. And what did I get out of that? What can it help me do? And sometimes it doesn't hurt to go talk to somebody that's got a successful company. Maybe you're interested in uh starting a certain business or a selling a certain product or do a certain service. Go, you know, you can't talk to the your neighbor about it. Go to the next town or a town a hundred miles away and just knock on the door and tell the gentleman, sir, I'm uh Pitar, excuse me, my name's Jay, and I'd like to talk to you about podcasting. And and I and you you seem to be pretty successful at it, and I'm not gonna infringe on your company, nor are you gonna infringe on mine. Is there any things, or may I talk with you a little bit? May I ask you some questions? And you learn that way, you know, and pretty soon it's like, okay, I got some good ideas. So that that may end up ending the drift.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Right, you know, yeah. I think the problem is that we as people we tend to ask maybe our family members, maybe we ask friends. We we sometimes don't ask the right people. Right, exactly. Right. We have to go to the person who has tried it, the person who has built something, the person who is successful in what we want to do. Because when you ask your friends, they they don't really get excited, they don't really understand what you want to do. They maybe sometimes will tell you, you know, just don't waste your time and you move on and you don't you don't start that business.

SPEAKER_03 12:15

Or they'll or they'll tell you, sure, that sounds good, and you try it and you fail at it. Well, they didn't see so no, yeah. I no, I don't ask friends and friends and family. No, you ask somebody, and you know, and generally, Patar, something that you just mentioned about you know, the people that were successful at people that built something, they also failed at certain things, or they stumbled, or they tripped, or they overcame obstacles. What did they learn? Because it's not just it's not just overcoming an obstacle, it's what did you have to do to overcome it and what did you learn from it?

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

And if they can share that, you know, it's like winning an award. I've had I've hired a lot of people in my life, and you know, somebody can come and tell me, I won this award and that award and that okay, that's great, that's fine. But I don't care about the award. What did you have to do to win the award?

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

What did you have to overcome? What did you have to do competitively? Or was it customer service? Was it, you know, how did you rise to the occasion?

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Because people that go out to just to get the award or the trophy are gonna fail more often than not. But if you're doing it to help somebody get better or sell a service good, or make sure the customer is satisfied, all the other accolades and all the the awards, they just come along. And you don't have to search for them, they just you you want it because you did your job.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

Right. Well, that people never ask you how you got the awards, you know, they never ask you how much work you put into it, what do you have to do. They, you know, they just see you like, oh, you were successful now or you've done it. But what it took you to get to that point, and you know, many people are not they're not asking the right questions. No, no, no, they're not. Uh I wanted to ask you for for the time that you were in the hospital during those four years of recovery. What was in your mind? Like, were you thinking about the future? Did you regret something? I mean, four years is a long time.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

Well, it wasn't all at one time because it's like uh, but but I had some surgeries where I was in for a month, and then some surgeries where it's just five, six, seven, ten days, not not too bad. And uh back in the day, I just I used to like to read. I I I I would listen to uh uh well they didn't have podcasts back in those days and stuff, but but you could you reading, listen listening to uh uh back in cassette tapes, back in you know, before CDs and stuff, and and listen to some stuff and learn stuff. And it all depends on your want to. Do you want to get ahead? Do you want to succeed? Do you want to make something of something? And if you do, you're you're you're probably gonna do it. If you laid there and now I know some people, speaking of that, that they said and they'd watch the TV up on the wall. That's all they did. 10 hours a day, they'd watch television. See, to me, I never turned the TV on. You can take the TV out of the room. I don't care. I haven't watched TV in 15 years. I I didn't watch much TV in my whole life, period. But, you know, and and so I would say I would be brain dead if I did. But in the meantime, no, what can I do? I would think about what am I going to do now? Because, and one of the biggest things, Petar, is that I had a lot of surgeries that changed the way I could act in my life or what I could do or accomplish. You know, when I had my brainstem surgeries, it put me on a walker. I was I was on leg braces and a cane for 17, 16, 17 years. And when I had my brainstem surgeries and then more back surgeries and stuff, I mean, I got on a walker. I was on a walker for 18 years.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

And then I got my paralysis kept getting worse. Now I'm in a wheelchair, a power wheelchair. You know, you can see the the head of it back here. And so I've had to change directions all the time throughout my life. You know, even when we were building homes, you know, nine years ago, at first I could get around on my walker. I could get in a house and out of a house, but when I got in my wheelchair, because my paralysis got so much worse, and I, you know, uh now I can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Right.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

So how do I do it? I I would do it by FaceTime or somebody walking through and or sitting a car, or if I was outside looking at uh in my van that's got a handy, you know, a ramp for my wheelchair to go up. I would take a laser pointer if you were working on clearing that lot, and I want that tree over there taken down, I want that one trimmed up over there, I would take a laser pointer with a green laser, and I just I would hit the limbs and show them what I wanted.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

I mean, I'd kind of be creative about it.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Right. I mean, that's the power of the spirit. Let's be honest, many people will kind of feel like, you know, I'm I am where I am, you know, that that's it for me. And they'll just stop living. But you kind of tried to find ways. You you pushed yourself, you were determined to to find ways to learn the things that you had to learn to continue living, not just to stop and you know feel feel bad for yourself. Because there are a lot of people like that.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

There's a lot of people that I mean when I was corporate, they put me out the pasture, they put they re put me on long-term disability, so to speak, and retired me kind of when I was 41. 41. And so I but I thought, you know, and then I went out and within four months I had another company, and and uh uh I started it, and within about three and a half years, we were hitting a million a year, and then I just kept on climbing. And then I I sold it and sold the pre property and made some very good money and started another company.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

So, you know, I get bored with I don't want to. It's like somebody that can make it to the Super Bowl staying on top all the time. That's hard to do, right? You know, I I enjoy the climb. I like to to take on the problem, solve that problem because it makes you think, it keeps your mind going, and you you keep accomplishing, you keep helping people, right? You know, so yeah, good point.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

You mentioned uh building businesses. Uh do you feel that going through an accident, spending time in the hospital was like a turning point for you? Did you always have the drive? Or it's something that you got after the accident, you kind of reconsider your life and you wanted to build more?

SPEAKER_03 19:29

Would you feel like you've been always I always wanted to do something with my life, always because of being on the farm. And and knowing, and like I said, knowing that in the spring when you're prepping your fields and planting your seeds, and then you watch the corn grow from being in the ground and a little little yellow seed that big to being 14 foot tall in the air or 12 foot tall or whatever, and you gotta take it down, you have to, you know. So I always thought I would continue on. And it's like I said, at 76, I'm very involved in a company. We're national. We just picked up 48 other countries. Uh we just had a big demo in the UK for the um British British uh special operations. It's going well. I mean, and and other stuff I'm doing and helping, and and uh I wrote the book, I authored a book, which I never thought I I couldn't even write a one-page note or letter in high school. I I was terrible, you know. So I didn't know I but you don't, and it is what it is, is just telling your story.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

You know, telling it because we all have a story. You've got a story about traveling. I mean, if you sit down and wrote a book about the highlights, not everything, but the highlights of London to Singapore to here to there, it's like why you like certain places and why you didn't like, you know, and there's a lot of people out there that would agree with you, but they don't have the option to just leave Singapore or leave London or leave New York or whatever. You know, they're they're kind of stuck there, which is what you're saying. Yeah, and they're they're they're stuck on their home block and they're gonna be there for their whole life. And it's you you've been fortunate enough not to have that. I I'm like you, I just but I I did certain things along the way, you know, and I I might have been drifting and I don't recognize it as that, you know. But I it was always something accomplished, there was always something that came out better. And uh I because I think that's why we're here. I think that's why God's got us here. That's why you have life. God expects and He wants something for you to do, you know, and and I like helping people. I I think the more people you help, the better person you become.

unknown 21:55

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Stay busy, a lot of it's up to you as an individual. And so I in my book I say it's like you know, if it is to be, it is up to me. So if I want to if I don't want to drift, to to your point, what do I have to do to make it not happen? I've got to find something.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

So there are many people that are busy, but they're not achieving anything in life. Exactly. I agree. One of the the drifting I feel like is that you feel kind of stuck. You are still moving, but you don't really have the purpose, or you don't really have the bigger picture, the bigger goal. And being busy is not always, you know, being being on the right track or being on the on the path that you have to go. So I feel like that's one thing.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

To your point you just said, Pitar, is that a lot of people, in my opinion, anyhow, um, or my observation from life, is they can't seem to move ahead unless they got somebody to compete against. Right. You know, there's an old saying that, you know, oh, you want to compete with the Joneses, you know, the people that live next to you. You want a better house. Oh, they got a new car, I gotta get a new car. No, you don't. So I've never competed, I don't feel anyhow, I don't think so. I've never competed against or against somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

I compete against me. And it's like if I do something wrong and you're my boss or my my supervisor, and I'm working for you, you can be hard on me, but you're never there's nothing you could do to be as hard on me as I am on me.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

I'm harder on me than anybody, right?

SPEAKER_01 23:50

And I think this is powerful because many times we look around us and we try to compare, but the person that you need to compare is yourself. I mean, are you better than yourself today than you were yesterday? And I think that's that's really powerful. And many people need to to learn to look at themselves first. Yeah, you mentioned I'm gonna read it. If it's to be, it's up to me. Did this come from a uh at a moment in your life, or that saying is really powerful?

SPEAKER_03 24:22

I pretty much felt like that since I was young, and feeding feeding calves, uh young calves with a nipple bucket, where it's it's a bucket of pail with a nipple sticking out of it, and you feed them and stuff. And and I knew that if I wanted to keep them alive and growing, I had to do it. I had to go down in the basement when I was five years old and and take a 10-quart bucket and put you know the powdered milk and whip it up with warm water and drag it through the snow or in the winter or drag it through the grass in the summer, lots of times to lots of calves to keep them growing. Because if they didn't get to eat, I I mean, if you didn't get to eat, uh you you get pretty hungry. And so the same with them. And then uh I I just think that I I parlayed that throughout that you know, it's like when I was working at the little factory, uh agriculture factory, uh, when I was in high school. It was I worked till 12:30 at night, but I I did a lot of degreasing of tines that went on a pickup reel for a combine. But if I didn't get the tines degrees, they couldn't get painted. If they couldn't get painted, they couldn't get you know attached to the equipment that they needed to go in. So it but it's it and if I didn't keep moving ahead through my surgeries and trying to rehab myself myself, it's just that's always it's up to you to do it. It's kind of like a driver's license. When you need a driver's license or your you you got your license for the state you're in now, you had to go do it. I can't go take your picture, I can't go apply for you, I can't take your birth certificate. I so it gets back to a thing for Patar. If it is to be, it's up to me. I gotta do it. Yeah, so that's really it. But I had built some stuff before and some corporate stuff or bigger stuff, and um, you know, so much of it is it's up to me to go to the bank and ask the questions. It's up to me to um to to to ask the concrete contractors, can you do this, can you do that, and what are your limits, what are your prices? Hey, I'll work with you this way. So that's just what you do is and and and you learn, you learn. So that that's really, I don't know that there was any specific moment, but there again in the hospitals, when I broke my neck, a lot of it, uh, I did, I've always been an overachiever, Pitar. So when I was going in physical therapy or occupational therapy, right, I would work harder and longer and more because I thought, hey, they can help me some, but it's up to me to do it. It's up, it's it's it's it's in my heart, it's in me. So if it is to be, it's up to me to get this thing done. I've got to, I've got to do more, lift, lift my arm more times, you know. And right this is the only arm I got that works. This one kind of works a little bit. My hand and everything doesn't work much.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

But but this is really powerful because I feel like I'm gonna repeat it again. If it's to be, it's up to me. So basically, you are the one responsible for for your life, for your success, for your happiness. There's nobody that will come and save you. It's it's only you that you can create the opportunities, you can, you know, create your design your life the way you want it to be.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

And when you do something for yourself and by yourself, or or maybe a community of people, or your you know, a local group of people that you work with, but if you do it yourself, uh so to speak, and and and and work on it yourself harder, and you when you achieve that goal, or you've you've accomplished what you've set out to do, it's a lot sweeter and you feel better about it because you've done it.

unknown 28:23

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Somebody just didn't come in and give it to you. What do you think somebody should do if they feel stuck right now? You you gave a lot of good advices, you kind of share some good information, but if if there's a person that feels stuck in life, is there something that you would advise?

SPEAKER_03 28:43

I think it depends on where they're at physically and mentally. But a lot of it is you just gotta get up and get going.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Right.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

A lot of times the person that's having the problem that you're asking about, they just kind of sit around and they just they don't go out and attempt to do something to better themselves. So you've got to want it first. You have to when you want something, there's a difference between a want and need. You know, if you want, you know, you might want to live in a great big $20 million house, but you really don't need anything but a thousand square foot house with a bathroom and a bedroom and a kitchen and a you know, you don't need much. You don't have that. You if you have that desire, let's call it a desire to move ahead, but a lot of people that are stuck don't know if they have the desire. They don't have any, and I think that's where you're coming from with your question. And if I if I had to speak to a group of people and 25 people or 50 people, and they didn't know, not one of them knew what they wanted to do, what is it? What is it, what is something that you have done that you've enjoyed doing? Right. What is something that you would like to see built or accomplished? Right. You would like to see it. If it if this happened, it would make you feel better. Okay, well, my why don't you maybe be that person that makes it happen or happen, you know, gets built.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Right.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

So I I think it would be a combination of talking with the person, finding out a little bit more about it, but on from your point and your side is is from what you asked me, is I would I would want to say, Petar, you you've traveled quite a bit. What is it you've really liked the most about it? What is it you've liked the least? What suggestions could you give other people that were going to go someplace? Maybe you'd say, don't go there at all, you know, right? And here's why. Okay. Or you definitely need to go to Bali or or or or someplace and really enjoy the beaches. I don't know. But it's like you could write a book about all your experiences and where you've been and what you've enjoyed, because a lot of times it's not just going and doing it, it's making sure that the person is going to understand all the ramifications of what that choice is going to be. I mean, I had a gentleman recently show me a picture where he he's a Marine. He's I got out of the Marine Corps about 20 years ago, but married a gal in the Philippines and he moved to the Philippines, and he lives in a moderate-sized house, very inexpensive, and he lives on one of the outer islands that is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. It's amazing. But for me to go there in a wheelchair, I couldn't get around. And I need I need to know that I've got some kind of decent medical facilities to go to because of all the damage I've had done to my body. Well, he he can't do that, you know. But um, it's like climbing stairs. You may have a beautiful house, but if you got 20 stairs, I can't get in it. I can I can't, my my wheelchair doesn't climb stairs.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

So I think it's finding finding what you would like to do, finding something that people would really enjoy, and and how what what would make them feel good?

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

You know, if I was to do anything for for you, Mr. Smith, anything, whatever it is, take you somewhere, do something, have something, what would make you feel good or happy?

SPEAKER_02 32:48

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Okay, X, Y, Z. I don't know. So why don't you work on that? And here's what I can do to help you or give you some direction. You know, right. I don't know if people go to the library anymore, but you can get online, go to YouTube, you can find anything on YouTube and start watching and go, holy cow, that wasn't so hard. I didn't realize you could, you know. So I think that's what I'd start to do.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

And I think the you mentioned something really important is that people don't take a moment to stop and ask themselves, what do I really want? Because I feel like that's the beginning. Like asking yourself, what do I want from life? What do I want to do in in the future? Uh, you know, and that's that's where it starts. And people keep going and they keep going and going, but no direction, no, no purpose. Right. And that's where everything starts with with a simple question.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

And and you kind of sometimes need to know. Years ago, I used to draw a circle on a whiteboard, and I put a dot here, and I put a dot here, and this is New York, and this is Paris. And you're gonna be on a ship going from New York to Paris.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

Right.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

Well, for 99.2% of that journey, you can't see New York or Paris.

unknown 34:17

Right.

SPEAKER_03 34:17

You've got to have a goal, right? And you gotta remember that the waves are shifting and the the current is pushing you, and the wind is blowing, and you may run into storms, you may run into high waves, or you might have a calm sea. So for that, unless you know where you're going, yeah, you have no no direction.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

And um uh and I so I think that knowing what you want, but knowing where you want to go, right? I just think finding knowing having that goal once you've decided what you want, but you gotta decide what you want and then break it down, you know.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

Right.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

There's a there's an old thing that a lot it'd be real simple for a lot of people, is there's an old thing. If you take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, and they call I think they called it the Ben Franklin close, and it's a it's a like a close technique and a sale. And on one side of the line, write down all the things you can think of that are good about what you want to do, or that you can accomplish, right? And on the other side of the line, write down all the bad things about what you want to do, and you know, gonna cost a lot of money, it's gonna do this, it's gonna do that. Over here, it can make a lot of money. Okay, well, now how are you gonna, you know, uh or whatever the things are, but write down the good and write down the bad. You can do that when you buy something. Let's say you want to buy a new vehicle, it's it's like here's the pluses and here's the minuses. If you can't pay cash for it, don't buy it. Number one, because I don't care what kind of deal you get, you're gonna pay a lot of interest, and there goes the deal.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

So it's but uh something powerful you say is that we don't always need to know how we're gonna get there because we don't know how the plane is gonna get from point A to point B, but we have our goal, we have our direction. So I feel like that's a really powerful message is that don't overthink it, just decide what you want from life or what your direction is, and you get there. Don't overthink it. Because many people they want something, but then they they waste time and thinking, how am I gonna get there?

SPEAKER_03 36:37

What is the you know, they start thinking and thinking and then oh yeah, they they they they kill it, they kill the they kill the whole process, like you said, overthinking it, over over over overreacting. It's like, well, I you know, just do what you need to do, right, and do do the important things, you know. If you got time, you want to stop off here and visit a little bit, that's fine. But otherwise, get to your destination.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Right. And I feel like the moment you just you know what you want to achieve, that's when the motivation comes. Because you know, it shows up like you know what you need to do, and then you kind of get that burst of motivation because you know the direction, so it keeps you going. I want to do a quick uh round of uh this or that, no overthinking, very, very quick.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Okay, well, I'll do the best I can.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Discipline or motivation?

SPEAKER_03 37:34

Discipline.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Okay, faith or logic? Logic. Logic, comfort or growth? Growth, excuses or ownership? Ownership, fear or action? Action, past or future? Future. Awesome. That was great. Uh, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

I want to mention a word you said was fear. I can't think what they call it, a synonym or something for fear? Okay, if one can be for the word fear, it can be fear everything and run, or face everything, and rise. Okay. So you can either get up and go, or you it's like the word no. No doesn't mean no, no is next opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

Right.

SPEAKER_03 38:28

Or the word fail. Fail can stand for first attempt in learning.

SPEAKER_02 38:34

Right.

SPEAKER_03 38:35

So there's a lot of those little things like that, but yeah. Uh that was good. I like that. I like I like a copy of the answer.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Powerful. I know this is going to resonate with a lot of people, but uh tell our listeners where they can uh learn more about you.

SPEAKER_03 38:53

Uh well, I I I've got a book. Matter of fact, I got I got it sitting here because I had somebody in here earlier, but this is just a paperback, but it's uh called The Strength Within You. And the strength within you is really kind of shown by this tree that's well rooted, but it's been there for centuries, and it's it's bent, it's bent in the wind, but it's not broken.

unknown 39:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

And that's the whole thing. So uh, but the book, the book really talks about some of my medical issues, but it talks about what it takes to get through it. How do you get through? How do you build that resilience? How do you build the courage, the grit, the determination, perseverance to get through um the adversities and the detours and the problems that you run into in life? That's really what it's about. It's simple words, it's not a long read, but uh the strength within you, it's always too soon to quit. They can find that on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Um, I do get some notes sent to me, and I've got to get it in my book. Um, but I've got a website, Never Quit Trying. Yeah, never quit trying. And then I was thinking of my email. What's my email? I got my my second or third email is a Jay at Never Quit Trying. So yeah, it's always too soon to quit trying. That's where it came from. So never never quit trying.com.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

And they can leave me a note or ask a question or order the book or do something off of that.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

And perfect.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

But uh I had a I'd make this, I had a I got a note on on my website about uh uh about a week and a half ago, roughly, and it was a lady that was 88, but she's about 88 and a half, and her husband died like five years ago, and she she's not in the best of health, apparently, but she didn't want to live to be 90. She said, I I, you know, and she tells me this, but her son saw my book someplace, I don't know, and it just came out in December, actually, the printed version at the beginning of January. But um, he got it for his mother, and she said, I read it twice, and she said, I want you to know that after I've read that book twice, that I I used to not want to live to be 90 because I lost my husband, I'm you know, I've got some problems, but now I'm inspired because of everything that you've been through, I I I've started started to think about my great-grandchildren. I've started to think about that more, and now she says, I'm planning my 95th birthday party. That's a pretty powerful thing to go from maybe wanting to die in a year or a year and a half to planning a birthday party six and a half years away.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

Right.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

So, and but it gives her a goal, it gives her something to see, and if she can see that party, getting back to something that you mentioned, if she can see that party and the streamers hanging and uh I don't know, uh an old band playing and you know, having pizza, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 42:06

Right, but any mind. I think our mind is really powerful, and whatever we put into our mind is what we're gonna get.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

And oh, your mind is all it's all powerful.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

Yeah, if you want to live until you're 95, you can do it. If you want to run a marathon, you can do it. It's it's what you put in the mind, into the mind.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

Well, it's it's in there because you you're going to do the things you need to do to make it happen. Yeah, you're not gonna eat chocolate and twinkies and pizza four times a day. You're gonna eat right the right foods and the right drinks and water or whatever, you know. And so, but good enough.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Good enough. Sounds great. Thank you so much for joining. I uh it was a pleasure to have you on the show. It was a really thoughtful conversation, and I'm sure a lot of people will learn a lot, and uh they will be interested to learn more about you and your story and your journey.

SPEAKER_03 43:06

Well, thanks, Patar. It was it was you you asked some interesting questions and observations, and and I think it's there are a lot of people that they don't need as much help as they think they probably need, but they just need a little direction.

SPEAKER_02 43:19

Right.

SPEAKER_03 43:20

I think that's a you know, it's a little little direction, and people that care about them.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Right.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

You know, so yeah, reach out and help somebody.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

That's you know so we we all need a direction. I feel like uh at some point in our life, we all need a little help and and direction.

SPEAKER_03 43:37

Little help, a little help. There's an old song about that. But well, thank you very much, Pitar.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

Thanks so much, thank you for for being part of the show. Jay's story is a powerful reminder of something we all go through drift, where life hits you hard, shift when you decide to take control, and direction when you choose. Choose to keep going no matter what. And the truth is, it's always too soon to quit. If this episode gave you something valuable, share it with someone who needs to hear this. And if you're ready to go from drift to direction, I'll see you in the next episode.