Why Most Couples Fail at Communication (And How to Win)

It’s time to talk and join the conversation with Episode 3: “C”- Communication. Overcoming communication challenges in love relationships is possible! It took us 30 years to hold effective conversations, and we’re still working on it!

In this Love Letter episode, we explore ways you can develop your unique “Rules of Engagement” plan for effective communication between you and your loved ones. Could communication gaps and barriers in your relationship be the culprits of strife and discontentment? Or are you being slightly vulnerable and avoiding opening up with others? Tune in to discover the answers and more right now!

Chapters: 

• 0:00 - Welcome to Love Letters with Jason & Ros
• 1:14 - Our Story: “The 30-Year Communication Gap!”
• 4:42 - Navigating— Factors Having the Greatest Impact on How We Communicate
• 8:55 - Top 7 Challenges in Communication
• 21:00 - Overcoming Communication Challenges
• 22:08 - Establish Your “Rules of Engagement,”  Have Pillow Talk
• 29:00 - Bible Truths
• 30:05 - Communication Power Takeaways
• 37:05 - Love Letter Challenge & Closing Prayer

Additional Content & Notes:

Communication "Rules of Engagement"
Establish a list based on your unique relationship, decide and agree on conversation styles, and determine how you’ll entreat one another in conversation. 

Our 12 Rules Include:

1. Stay truthful and transparent.
2. Maintain eye contact.
3. Apply active and respectful listening- listen twice as much as speaking.
4. Incorporate “Having the floor” for an equal period of time.
5. Make your “why stance” or points clear during disagreements.
6. Focus on gaining understanding, growing closer, and reaching a resolution.
7. Know and strive to understand your partner’s communication style and journey without judgement.
8. Drop pride and righteous attitudes, gaining should be the by-product of communication, not WINNING or LOSING.
9. Incorporate breaks when conversations become heated; agree to “pin” them for a short period and return to them later.
10. Set agreeable times to hold hard conversations, and be willing to talk things through.
11. Create a “safe space” for communication with gentle answers and engaged body language to avoid dominance in the conversation.
12. Be willing to compromise when disagreeing- let God’s word be the final authority.

Top 7 Communication Challenges:

1. Sometimes we don’t know what will and will not hurt.
2. We use communication, or lack thereof, as a weapon
3. Put up barriers and avoid having “real talk” or “hard conversations.”
4. Turns into a “battle of wills” and you want to be “right” or “win” in the conversation
5. Trauma
6. Shutting down and internalizing issues/concerns to deal with issues alone.
7. The “Unholy Trinity” of Communication: Fear, Guilt, Pride/Ego

Bile Truths:

• James 1: 19 - “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”
• Proverbs 15: 1 - “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Live Out Your Love Letter Challenge:

1. Share something with your spouse or loved one that you’ve never shared before. 

Everything in one place: https://linktr.ee/loveletterswithjasonandros

Live out your Love Letter. 💌

Everything in one place: https://linktr.ee/loveletterswithjasonandros

Live out your Love Letter. 💌

Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Sometimes we don't know what we're about to say, whether or not it's going to hurt somebody. That's why we have to be very, very intentional in the way that we communicate.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Another challenge with communication is using communication or the lack thereof as a weapon. So sometimes you know that you're going to say something that's going to cut. Yeah. You know it's going to hurt, and you're deliberate because you want to cut. You want to hurt.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Today's love letter is C, and the topic is communication. Hey, we want to welcome you to Love Letters with Jason and Ross. Oh, this is a great time for you, great space for you to be in. So today, what we want to encourage you to do is of course like, share, and subscribe. But really, what's most important to us is that you share comments. And the reason being, what we're going to do with those comments is we're going to answer questions. We'll do some shorts that we'll post on Instagram, Facebook, also YouTube, because we want to stay engaged with you and we want to make sure content remains relevant to you.

Our Story: “The 30-Year Communication Gap!”

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Roz, come on, tell them a story.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Our story, I like to call our story of communication, the 30-year communication gap. So we've been married for 31 years. Thank you, Jesus. We dated for six years before that. However, in 1994, about two months or so before we got married, I decided to come clean. I knew there were some things about me that he did not know. So I opened up my mouth and I just shared some things with me because I didn't want to enter into our marriage uh hiding anything. I wanted to make sure he knew everything he needed to know about me and he'd have that last minute opportunity to say, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 2:00

You know my girl. I'm out.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

So I wanted to be fair. So I came clean, and in that moment, I recognized that communication is very important. Oh, for sure. Being transparent and open and uh letting people in and talking, I thought I just think that's so very, very important. So now we're gonna go 30 years after.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Man, so that was 1994 when we first got married. So now I'm gonna jump to 2024. Okay, that was a breakthrough. That year was our 30th year anniversary, and that was truly, truly a breakthrough in our marriage. Basically, we both experienced different types of childhood trauma. Yes. But we went to this marriage conference, and I mean it was a game changer for us. Basically, what we recognize is you know what, our relationship had been on cruise control. I mean, yeah, we were having good conversation, but we recognized after that marriage conference that there was so much more for our relationship. Absolutely. And so deeper level of communication. Oh my goodness, deeper, deeper levels of communication. Okay, you need to look at me because I'm gonna talk to you about this part.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

All right, okay, chill out now.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

So, so what happened was this we started having hard conversations with one another, very difficult conversations that could cause pain, that could cause hurt, but our desire was to have a deeper level of relationship with each other. Yeah, and it required those hard conversations. And so that's where, you know, our 30-year communication story really took a different turn. And so um, you know, that was exciting and uh not just exciting, it was not liberating, but it was transformational. Yes, it was transformational for our relationship. Now you would think, man, they did it now. Their communication is awesome. Well, our communication is still a work in progress.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Work in progress.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

I mean, even when we work on these episodes, sometimes we get to fuss them working on these episodes, which is hilarious to me.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yeah, I think the bottom line is you know,

Navigating— Factors Having the Greatest Impact on How We Communicate

SPEAKER_00 4:42

communication continues to evolve and grow with any relationship you're in. Um there's always new levels, you know, new levels of communication, even verbal and nonverbal. There are times when I could just make a face or I could have an expression, or I'm not even conscious of what I'm looking like. But he can look at me and I'm communicating, you know, and I don't realize that I'm communicating, but he'll know when something is not right, he'll know when I'm lying or joking around. But the bottom line is communication changes, it evolves, and it grows to different to different levels. So the more we communicate and the more you learn how to communicate with your partner or spouse, the better I believe you get closer to one another, the more it builds character and it builds understanding. Because people have different communication journeys, they have different communication styles that's that uh uh are unique to their experiences as well as their personalities.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

So yeah, for sure. How we communicate is it's the result of a number of different factors. I think probably the biggest factor that impacts our communication is our upbringing. Yep. It's like what what did you see at home? You know, was it a single parent uh household? Was you know, uh a parent there with with someone that wasn't their spouse? What was it, you know, did you have a mom and dad there that may have been verbally abusive to one another? All of those things within your upbringing, yeah, they do impact the way that you communicate. Absolutely. And what else? What else um can can have an impact?

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Traumas as well, different experiences. Uh sometimes you might say something and it may hurt somebody, and there could be some trauma behind that, or something bad happens if you speak out, or what have you. But I think I think that's another factor. Oh, for sure. It affects how we communicate, no, what we say, what we don't say, how we say it.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

Yeah. And you even you even mentioned that everyone's journey is unique, and so is the way that they communicate. So understanding that we're all unique in our communication journey, yeah. Um, what that should do is that should cause us as individuals to want to extend grace to that individual. So extending grace to your partner, knowing that their journey was different, you know, than ours. Because we we talked about our childhood completely different. And we'll talk a little bit more about that in just a moment.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Yeah, and effective communication definitely requires ground rules and grace.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

What do you mean by ground rules?

SPEAKER_00 7:48

There are some rules of engagement with when it comes to communication, and we'll talk about those. We'll talk about a few of them, but um, in the description box for this episode, we'll have all the ones, the listed examples. But when it comes to rules of engagement, just a way that you as a couple will agree, or as a parent will agree on how you will communicate with your loved one.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

No, that's good. Now, she said something, and I want to make sure you didn't miss this. In the description, we are going to give you a very detailed list of ground rules, and that's very, very important. You want to you want to just share one ground rule with them?

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Okay. Apply active and respectful listening. So we are need we need to listen twice as much as we speak. There's a reason we have two ears and one mouth. So yeah, that's one. Active listening, and I'm still learning how to do that.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

Yeah, we'll talk about that too. Now, here's the

Top 7 Challenges in Communication

SPEAKER_03 8:55

deal. You know, uh, sometimes we don't know what will and what will not hurt somebody. I'll say that again. Sometimes we don't know what we're about to say, whether or not it's going to hurt somebody. That's why we have to be very, very intentional in the way that we communicate.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Because it it may be a switchblade that caused bleeding. And that may not have been our intent, but because we weren't really thinking through what our communication was going to be, sometimes it can really, really cause some hurt and sometimes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

I mean, that is a challenge when it comes to communication. Another challenge, which I've used, I'm guilty of it, and I do apologize. I've already apologized, and I keep apologizing, but another challenge with communication is using communication or the lack thereof as a weapon. So sometimes you know that you're gonna say something that's gonna cut. Yeah, you know it's gonna hurt, and you're deliberate because you want to cut, you want to hurt. Um, and that's just one of those challenges, and that's something we have to learn. We have to learn how to use our words better. Um, I'm just gonna go right into the challenges because go ahead. You gotta say something.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

Okay, you said something powerful. You're you're saying it because you want to cut, you want to cause pain. And we really got to think about you know, this is my partner. This is, you know, this is my wife, this is my friend in life. Yeah, where does that kind of stuff come from? Yeah, and when you really think through that, where where is this desire to cause pain to a person that I really, really love? Where does that come from? And we'll talk about where that kind of stuff is rooted and why it shows up at different points within a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

That's right. Well, I all I can say is this when it comes to me, I was a I was a bad communicator. I was, I'm still working on it. He knows I'm still working on it. I cut him off all the time. You know, he'll be talking, trying to explain something. I like finishing his sentences, and I I know I shouldn't do it because I always think I know what he's gonna say, but I most likely don't, right? But anyway, um I used to put up barriers, I used to avoid having real talk and hard conversation. Uh, and then the times when I wanted to have hard conversation, he might not have been ready to do it. So it was like, I just was quiet, I would have an attitude. But I like to, so when it comes to my communication challenges, I like to say B C and A D for me. Before Christ and A D after deliverance. So I kind of I broke down my communication barriers this way. So before Christ, I was one of those who would lash out. If I was super mad, I would write a letter. Our kids know I would write letters to them all the time, but I would write a letter as my way of expressing my hurt and my disapproval of certain things of events or certain behaviors. And this was like before we got married. So before Christ, before we got married, when we were in that dating phase, off and on, breaking up, getting back together. It was always, you know, I was a bad communicator. And I I for for some reason, I know it was because of my upbringing, but for some reason, I always thought that yelling and cursing and you know, you know, expressing myself in an angry way was was a for somehow, for some reason, I thought that that was going to promote an admittance of wrong and a heartfelt apology. Right. Yeah. Like that's but but it kind of that was insanity. For real.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

But it it goes back to what we're what we were saying earlier about navigating communication. That's right. Everybody has their own journey, that's right, and their method of communication is impacted by upbringing trauma. So the things that you felt I was going to respond to, I wasn't respond to responding to because my my experiences with communication completely different. That's right. Completely different.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

So then after deliverance, A D, thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. One of the things that I realized probably, probably last year, you know, when during our 30th at the Spark Marriage Conference, was that I realized that prayer and communicating with God was my ultimate and first level of conversation before talking to Jason. Um and I'm still learning how to sit still, be quiet, and just hear from the Lord first before I open my mouth. Again, listening twice as much as I speak. So learning how to do that is still a work in progress for me. But looking back, I can thank God because I came a mighty long way.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

So, honey, what were your challenges?

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Well, before we go to my challenges, you know, on the drive here, on the drive.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Well, we're just keeping it real. Okay, all right. This is our new help somebody. Seriously, this is amazing. This is our new family. Okay, this is our new family.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

So even on the drive here to record this episode, where were we going? Oh, we were at the dry. I had to stop at the dry cleaners to pick up some clothes. That's right. And I just started backing out of the of the thing, and she was like, What? Why are you backing out? It's like, can I can I at least drive? Why don't you trust? Why don't you trust that I know where I'm driving? But here's here's the communication piece. When we were talking about it on our way here, what I recognize is sometimes when we're talking, we're not even listening. We're just prepping up what our rebut is going to be.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

And that's, you know, that's just one of those problems. And that's one of those challenges with communication. So let me talk about me though. You know, my experience growing up was a little different from hers. So my experience growing up, my dad, he passed away. Um, I was eight years old when he passed away. Um, my mom, she was pregnant with my little sister, my family, we own this huge uh manufacturing and distribution company. So when he passed away, that was a huge impact on the family. I mean, because it was a big company. Now my mom has the responsibility, and there was a lot going on with that. And so, me as a kid, looking at all of this, I never really talked to anybody about you know what happened. I mean, I was the one who found my dad passed away. My mom, she was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and she told me, go wake your dad up for dinner, because he had taken a nap and I went in there to wake him up. He was cold, and I knew right away that my dad had passed away. So no one ever talked me through any of that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

That was trauma.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

That was serious trauma. So, what happened is this when I was growing up, I became very closed off. I internalized a lot of things because I did not want to be a burden.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

So people would ask me about certain things, I would lie, I would hide it because for whatever reason, I felt like me telling you would be a burden on you. And so that actually came out in our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

So it came out as lying, it came out as hiding stuff, it came out as, you know, being deceptive about things, shutting down. It just was unhealthy, very unhealthy. And you know, other episodes will we'll tell you more stories about our relationship, but I recognized that that was a challenge for me. Now the turning point was when I started asking myself, why am I like this? That conference that we were talking about last year, it helped me to start asking the question, why am I like this? And that was really the defining moment for change. That's where we started having the deeper, more difficult, and that's where we started to that's where we really started to overcome in our communication.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

I agree. Like we said, we're still a work in progress. Um and I think it's not that your communication has to be perfect, just as long as you recognize that you need to work on it, number one, number two, recognize that it gets better with time. It should be growing and and drawing you closer together as a couple. I think those are important. And even how we communicate with our children, we got that wrong too. At least I know I did. I got it wrong. You know, I would raise and talk to our kids the way my mom and my family talk to me, um, or some of the things that I thought, I internalized, I never really expressed it with our kids. So it's like even how we communicate with our kids is important because it helps with them developing their communication skills. You know, you get mad, you just kind of shut down, you don't say anything, you don't tell, you know, you might do a little gossiping here and there, a little critical, you know, being critical of people, you know, not in front of their face, but you know, something passive that passive aggressive communication. Stop it. So all of those things are factors and they all come into play and they all affect how we communicate. So as long as we can recognize the areas where we're falling short with communication, and we we can agree to work on communication, yeah, work on developing it and making it stronger, coming clean with whatever is there. You don't want to enter into a relationship on a lie or anything deceptive. You want to come clean, be transparent, be your true self, and learn that the art of communication, it is a work in progress. It is something that continues on.

SPEAKER_03 20:48

So I don't I don't think we ever arrive as it relates to communication. That's some, that's one of those things that's always going to be developing. And, you

Overcoming Communication Challenges

SPEAKER_03 21:00

know, when we talk to other couples and we talk about, you know, how can we overcome, you know, some of these communication challenges. Here's the first thing that that that we say. You you want to trust that that individual wants to show up in the relationship at their absolute best. That that they want the best for the relationship. So even if they may say something that may hurt, always keep in the back of the of your mind and trust and believe that they really want the best for the relationship. Now, if it's if it's a toxic relationship, just scratch what I just said. But if it's a, you know, if there's a genuine care and concern for the individual, exactly, a love connection, then the reality is they really do want to show up at their best in the relationship. So always trust and believe that. So what else should we do?

SPEAKER_00 21:58

I remember that movie Love. I mean, that show. Love connection, yeah. We'll be back in two and two. I used to be back in two and two. I used to love that, but anyway, I digress.

Establish Your “Rules of Engagement,” Have Pillow Talk

SPEAKER_00 22:08

All right, so let's talk about rules of engagement when it comes to communication. We talked about this just a little bit earlier in the episode, but basically, in every relationship, you need to have an established set of rules of how you will communicate and entreat one another. Understand that from the top, understand each other's journey. This was my upbringing. This was my upbringing, these are my experiences, and all of these things and factors that have affected the way you communicate.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Understand that about each other. And how do you do that? You got to communicate. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Look, go ahead. Put the pause button there. Okay. She just said something phenomenal. Hopefully, you didn't miss it. This is specifically for those that are single, that are dating, and for those of you who are engaged, you really do need to talk about your experiences and your upbringing. Okay. That is so critical because the more transparent you are about those things, the less likely I will say things that cause hurt. That's right. Or bring up past trauma. So you're absolutely right. There's got to be vulnerability and clear communication at the onset of the relationship.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Agreed. So establishing those rules of engagement are very critical. As I said earlier, we have 12 that we'll put on. We have 12 examples, not that you got to do all of these. You can pick and choose whatever you want, the examples that we're going to offer. But at the same time, you can make up your own based on how you communicate and based on how you guys sync together. That's the most important thing. But some examples, um, things like creating a safe space for communication with gentle answers and engaged body language because we want to avoid having dominance in the conversation. You know how you talk to somebody and they're just so dominant you can't get a word in. You know, they're expressing themselves or they're sharing something, and they don't really give you a chance to talk. So I think it's important to be active in listening and having a safe space where people won't feel like I'm vulnerable and you just cut me, you kicked me when I was down. I think also being vulnerable is another rule of engagement.

SPEAKER_03 24:44

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Lay all the cards on the table. I think that is important, especially if you want to have a relationship with this person. This person is important to you, and you're important to them. It's important to have the hard conversations and work through it. Relationships take work, they do, they do, they and they don't happen overnight, they don't grow overnight, they take time, progress, and it's a process. I know people don't like that P-word process, I thought that's like a cuss word. Patience is another cuss word, but stop cussing on the broadcast. We have to be patient with others. We've got to go through that process and we've got to work through it.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Yeah. Um, you know, one one thing that we talk about, uh, or what we have, we call it pillow talk. Yeah. Now, pillow talk for us is truly pillow talk. We're in the bedroom, we got pillows, and we're talking. Um, but you know, if you're single, if you're dating, you know, you're not in the bedroom. Maybe you're on the couch with pillows.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Um, but just maybe you're talking over the phone.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

Yeah, you're talking over just just think about it as something soft. You know, it's it's not enough, it's not anything that's, you know, very contentious. It's just a soft, safe exactly, a place of comfort. So when we talk about uh pillow talk, you know, there's uh there's three steps to that, right? So the first thing that we want to do is A, we want to address the facts. Okay. A lot of times you'll get into these conversations and you won't stay in the moment. You'll go back 10 years and you'll start dragging stuff into the conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that's being presented here.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Agreed.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

All right. So what would be be?

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Be in the moment.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Be in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Be in the moment. I mean, be present. Don't be thinking about what you're gonna cook, or don't be thinking about kids, or don't be thinking about work the next day, or whatever the case may be. Keep your mind on the person that that is talking to you. Listen actively and do whatever it is that you need to do to make sure that they know that you're there for them and that you're attentive and that you're hearing them. I think it's just as important, you know, the speaking and the hearing. They need to feel heard.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Um, one of the things that we always do for C is we confirm conversation. So if we're talking and we're doing a lot of talking, it's like, okay, so I hear you saying XYZ. Um, so we do that all the time. It's crazy. But any, anyway, just to confirm, hey, I heard what you said. If if that's if if it's not XYZ, it might be ABC. So it's like, okay, tell me again. Uh, because I want to understand and I want to make sure we're on the same page about things. Every conversation does not always end in agreement. Sometimes there's a disagreement. One of the things that we've learned to do is pray. Yeah. Pray first. Pray, pray, pray. Because prayer opens our minds, it opens our hearts up to each, to each other, to where we're we're we're actively listening and we're being mindful of the fact that God is listening to. You know, he's that third, the Holy Spirit is that third person that's in the room um hearing what's coming out of our mouths and how we're communicating with each other. We learned that in the in the the marriage conference 2025. No, he's in the third, he's in the room too.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

He's in the room too. Okay, biblical truth. You want me to?

SPEAKER_00 28:58

Yeah, you do the one this side.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

Okay,

Communication Biblical Truths

SPEAKER_03 29:00

so biblical truth. This comes from James 1 and 19. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to becoming angry.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

That's right. And there's another one that kind of goes along with that. Proverbs 15 and 1. It says, A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger. And like I said before, this was before Christ, my BC uh communication challenge. I used harsh words, and that did nothing but make him more angry instead of wanting to apologize for what he did. Even though I was in the right, I wasn't in the right with my communication.

SPEAKER_03 29:48

Yeah, she wasn't in the right. All right.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Thank God for his word.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

Yes, thank God for his word. And transformation with both of us. Transformation. So I now I'm honest, more transparent, being more vulnerable. And

Communication Power Takeaways

SPEAKER_03 30:05

here's the deal I think this is another uh PowerPoint that that people need to get is you know, through vulnerability, yes, there is a level of grace that you get the opportunity to experience on both ends of the on both ends of the spectrum. So me being vulnerable and telling you personal things and things that are really deep rooted in me, it allows me to receive grace from you. But then from your perspective, it allows you the opportunity to extend grace. And that's really being a reflection of um, being a reflection of Christ in in the relationship. So a couple of powerpoints to prep you up for communication. All right, Roz, why don't you hit them with one?

SPEAKER_00 30:58

All right, choose your words wisely. No one wants to be abused or hurt by those they care about. So just being conscious of what you're saying. Understand the why behind what you say. Um is my intent to hurt or is my intent to heal?

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Is my intent to help, you know, or is it to hurt or to make them feel bad? We don't ever, we shouldn't want to hurt someone. You know, my mama always said, hey, if you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't I, don't say nothing at all. And I I can agree with that. If you don't have anything nice to say, you know you're gonna say something that's gonna hurt. Zip the lip. And I think mama got that from grandma, so I'm not sure, but it's it's a great saying, and it's something that I still I'm still learning. I'm still learning, but learning how to just be quiet and say nothing, don't complain, don't let that come out of your mouth. Just choose your words wisely. And if you can't think of anything wise at the moment, be quiet.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

Yeah, I'm chuckling. I'm chuckling because, well, you don't cuss no more.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

That's true. I don't.

SPEAKER_03 32:23

Look, I was in the Navy, so I had my fair share of cussing too, right? Okay, so here's here's another PowerPoint for you. Develop good communication skills. So, you know, Ross and I, we do speaking, right? And with the different speaking opportunities that we have, we've got a responsibility to develop our delivery. Yes. And so it's the same thing in our relationship. Um you've got to develop your delivery and communication with one another. So that that's another powerful point, is we have to develop a good communication skills. And if we really care about the person, we'll do the work.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

So, you know, how you go into your job and your job has development skills and development programs, well, you go through those development programs so that you can be better at your job. And what place or what space would you, I mean, it just doesn't, it makes sense to really want to develop the most important relationship that you have in your life is with your partner or your spouse or the person you're engaged with.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

So developing good communication skills is is very important.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Yeah, one of the things that we, when the kids were at home, and even still now with um our youngest as well as my mom still living with us, we when we're at the dinner table or at the breakfast table, we always have deep conversations. You know, we're always talking about something, you know, um, you know, just the way things are compared to how they used to be, et cetera, et cetera. But having communication with the kids, eating together, I think is important. Eating with your family, I think is important at least once a day. Um, if you still have school-age kids, if it's possible to do that, if your schedules can align. I think that is so very important. Um because that teaches kids how to communicate, how to develop in their communication skills and how to express themselves in different conversations, because we're not always going to talk to the people that are our age. We're gonna talk to people from we should we should know how to comfortably talk to people from different ethnic backgrounds, different generations, you know, baby boomers, Generation Z. We need to be able to communicate with all different types of people. And I think that is very important. And just knowing things, understanding things, reading and doing those things. Reading is another way of helping our kids develop great communication skills.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Yeah, and uh probably the the last thing that I would say for a PowerPoint on today would simply be embracing vulnerability.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:28

Um, there is so much power that comes out of vulnerability. That is really where you get the opportunity to experience some unconditional love like you've never experienced before. And I know I talked about exactly, I know I talked about grace, but there is a depth of love that you experience through vulnerability, where I take my heart, I set it in her hands, and I safely trust that she's gonna care for it and nurture it and not weaponize it and use it back. That to me is probably the most powerful relationship you can ever have.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Amen. Amen. All right, and I think all of these PowerPoints that we shared and different ways to overcome communication challenges, all of these things ultimately add to a deeper connection with your partner, and they they they they teach you how to talk through issues. I think that's very important. So personal development is another thing. Learning how to express yourself, I think is very important. Express yourself clearly so that the other person truly does understand where you're coming from. Um, and it helps you communicate better and well together. And that just continues to grow from one level to the next.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

So exactly. So, you know, this week for the personal

Live Out Your Love Letter Challenge

SPEAKER_03 37:05

reflection, we want to issue a challenge, okay? And depending upon where you are in your relationship, and depending upon where you are with your communication skills, this may be a real challenge for you. But I I believe if if we can do it, I believe you have the capacity to do it as well. And so what we want to challenge you to do, whether it's with whether you're single, you know, whether uh you're dating, engaged, married, you know, you could be, you know, a divorced parent with your children, we want to challenge you to share something that you've never shared with anyone else before. We are challenging you to be vulnerable this week. Are you willing to step up to the plate and place your heart in someone's hand? Trust that they're not going to weaponize it so that you can experience a level of love that you've never experienced before. All right, the ball is in your court. The challenge is on.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

It's time to live out your love letter this week.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

Yes, it's time to live out our love letters, and let us know how this episode has helped you out in your communication. Let us know what's changing in your life. And of course, like, share, subscribe. But most important, like I say, every week, we want you to comment because we really, really want to hear from you.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

All right. So every week we pray on the topic. So, Ross, you want to pray about communication this week?

SPEAKER_00 38:50

I'm gonna be like Tim Ross, Pastor Tim Ross, and I'm just gonna do a real quick prayer.

SPEAKER_03 38:55

Real quick. This is about the quickest prayer you've you ever heard.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

Heavenly Father, we thank you for helping us work on our communication skills with our loved ones in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

Amen. Amen. Okay, so next week we are talking about love. So, you know how we started. We had attraction, we had dating, communication. So next week we're going to talk about love. We just feel like this is a good foundation to start with love letters with Jason and Roz. And you know, I picked this up thinking this is my J Cone. Excuse me, I goofed up. So Love Letters with Jason and Roz. Okay, now before you go, this is serious. In the description, there is a link. If you desire to have a deeper relationship with God, there's a link to a special video that we have for you. Go ahead and check it out and um just let us know if it encourages you. All right.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

Well, make sure you like, share, and subscribe.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

And comment. And comment.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

All right, thank you for tuning in, and we'll see you next time. Next time.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

Bye. Bye bye.