Love Letters with Jason & Ros

When Your Body Changes, Does Love Change Too?

• Jason and Ros Hamilton • Season 1 • Episode 6

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When bodies change, does love change too? Join us for real talk in Episode 6— “B” for Body Changes, and why every couple should discuss this inevitable truth: Every Body changes!

How do you stay "attractive" and "attracted to your mate" when the body changes over time? If you’ve ever wondered about maintaining the passion, connection, and appreciation of your love relationships through the seasons of life, this conversation is for you!

We’re talking about weight gain, wrinkles, sags, and real-life bags that can happen to us all! Yet, the real beauty of our love relationships can only come when we understand that love and attraction go well beyond physical appearance, and they can evolve in ways we don’t always expect.

Explore with us what genuine love looks like after the widening and rounding, gray hairs, glasses, sicknesses, scars, and stretch marks show up and show out! Learn what it means to love your spouse through every version of their outward appearance.

Although our bodies may change, love doesn’t have to fade. Instead, it should deepen, strengthen, and mature into something even more beautiful as you learn to see your loved one the way God sees them — from the inside out!

Chapters:

  • 0:00      Welcome to Love Letters with Jason & Ros
  • 2:20      Every Body Changes… Here’s Why!
  • 6:15      Our Body Change Story— “That Was Then, This is Now!”
  • 19:07    Menopause: Real Issues Women Face
  • 20:53    Issues & Physical Changes with Kids/Youth
  • 27:35    "Manopause" & Real Issues Men Face
  • 30:27    Overcoming Body Change Issues… It Starts with Acceptance
  • 37:48    Biblical Truth— Psalm 139 and Verse 14
  • 38:57    Power Takeaways for Body Changes
  • 42:34    Your Love Letter Challenge & Closing Prayer


Episode Resources:

Top 3 Tips - Overcoming the Challenges of Body Changes:

  1. Expect It — The effects of aging are going to happen sooner or later.
  2. Adjust to It— Support each other as you experience it together and make changes.
    1. Seek medical attention when necessary.
  3. Embrace It = Age Gracefully— Use it to your advantage

Power Takeaways:

  1. In Love Relationships: Keep the communication lines wide OPEN/SAFE. Share your concerns by speaking from the heart, speak truth in LOVE.
    1. You’re committed to growing old together as long as possible in this lifetime.
  2. Don’t hold yourself or others to unrealistic expectations during physical changes. 
    1. Remember, the physical body is the “bonus” not the “blessing!”
    2. You love the person’s soul, not their body or the shell that houses their soul.
  3. Commit to growing old together as long as possible in this lifetime.
  4. Pray and seek God’s Word pertaining to health, wellness, maintained commitment, and acceptance of physical changes.

Bible Truth:

  • Psalm 139, Verse 14 “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, [O LORD], and that my soul knows very well."

Live Out Your Love Letter Challenge:

  •   Have some “Pillow Talk” about at least one area of health you are concerned about. 
  • Let us know how it goes!

Everything in one place: https://linktr.ee/loveletterswithjasonandros

Live out your Love Letter. 💌

Everything in one place: https://linktr.ee/loveletterswithjasonandros

Live out your Love Letter. 💌

Intro

SPEAKER_04

And then there came the I call them the hormone wars, the hormonal wars that I'm still dealing with because you've got, you know, women go through, whether you have kids or not, women go through premenopause, perimenopause, and then they reach menopause, and after that is postmenopause. For me, I'm the the perimenopause. Oh my god, that that was so tough and such a challenge for me. You know, bloating, hot flashes, irregular cycles, weight gain that it just, no matter what I did, it just would not go away. You know, and I wasn't the one of those that would, I wasn't a fan of hormone therapy, but I might consider that. I just don't know.

SPEAKER_01

You guys may not know this. Women, they go through menopause, but we go through menopause.

SPEAKER_03

That's our made-up word.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's not made up, that's for real. Menopause is a for real thing. And menopause comes in all different shapes and sizes. Probably the most real thing as it relates to menopause. And you know, we see commercials about this all times. ED erectile dysfunction. I'm not putting a plug in for any product or service, but that's a real part of menopause. And other things that impact this is sickness and disease. And we'll talk a little bit more about that as well. Hair loss. Man, I used to have this beautiful head of hair. It was a high top fade. I did all kinds of different hairstyles, but you know, as I got older, I started losing hair in certain places and it started growing in other places. Today we have a wonderful, wonderful episode for you. Alright, you ready to get into it, Ron?

SPEAKER_04

I'm ready to get into it. This is one of my favorite topics.

SPEAKER_01

I know. We're not talking about sports, although go pat go. Oh Lord. But what's the topic on today, man? Love letter B for body changes. Hey everybody, we want to welcome you to Love Letters with Jason and Rise.

Every Body Changes… Here’s Why!

SPEAKER_04

Body changes just happen. You know what I'm saying? There's a natural cause and there is a spiritual cause for why our bodies go through changes. Body changes can affect relationships. Periodally, the body changes as we're doing them together. It'll grow us closer together rather than bringing us apart. Change is natural, it is inevitable, and you cannot escape it. Every body changes. So some key factors and causes of body change. Now we're talking physical or natural here. First and foremost is aging. Okay. We're all going to age. We all change, you know, as we get a little older, I like to say, as we get a little wiser. And then when it comes to children and youth, their bodies also change, but it's a it's more for the in the line of physical development. Then there's the number one body change, weight gain. I'm a living witness to that, and I believe you're a living witness to that too. But weight gain and then also some weight loss. Um pregnancy. Pregnancy. Some women know, some people know. Hey, when you get pregnant, everything changes. Everything, physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, everything.

SPEAKER_01

You know, I remember when we got pregnant with our first child, Roz's belly was like a it was like a torpedo. It looked like a bullet. It it came out and it was just smooth in front, like it was a torpedo. I had a watermelon in my seriously, I kept rubbing on it like, dang, this is a bullet.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, we're gonna move on. And then as far as women, also, there's menopause, which is that's a whole different story. We're gonna talk about that a little later on in this episode. Did you but in the yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Did you know you guys may not know this? Women, they go through through menopause, but we go through menopause.

SPEAKER_03

That's our made-up word.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's not made up, that's for real. Menopause is a for real thing. And menopause comes in all different shapes and sizes. Probably the most real thing as it relates to menopause, and you know, we see commercials about this all times, ED, erectile dysfunction. I'm not putting a plug in for any product or service, but that's a real part of menopause. Yeah, and other things that impact us is sickness and disease. And we'll talk a little bit more about that as well. Hair loss. Man, I used to have this beautiful head of hair. It was a high top fade. I did all kinds of different hairstyles, but you know, as I got older, I started losing hair in certain places and it started growing in other places. So another body change, injuries, the side effects of medications. Yeah, there are so many different things that affect our bodies.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Now, Roz mentioned a spiritual component. Did you know sin is actually a factor that impacts our bodies? Absolutely. Because of it, our bodies are mortal, and one day we will pass away. So sin is another significant factor of our body changing.

SPEAKER_04

We live in an imperfect world, so our bodies are not perfect like they once were. So we're susceptible to decay and aging, you know, the decline in the cell regeneration process. That's all aging. So our our lives are mortal right now. Our physical bodies are mortal.

Our Body Change Story— “That Was Then, This is Now!”

SPEAKER_01

So do you have a personal change story? I got a doozy. Besides torpedo belly.

SPEAKER_04

So we have these photos that we're putting up. We like to call, I like to call our our body change story, that was then and this is now. Shout out to Layla Hathaway. I love that song. That was then and this is now. But anywho, you know, we have when we were BC and before we got married, when we're nice and young in our teens and 20s, you know, we looked different. Then when we got married and started having the kids, we looked a little more different. And now we've we've we've kind of come full circle. Yeah. Come that empty nester, we look even more different. But in all of those changes, we have to start dealing with the feelings that are wrapped around the body changes. Because some body changes we like and some we don't. On my end, most of them I did not like. I did love being pregnant, but I didn't realize how much pregnancy would affect my body. So I'd have to say this. We had two children when we moved down here to Texas. Yeah. By that time, we already had two kids. And they were babies, so 16 months apart, babies. And one of the things I noticed, I remember one day when we first moved down here, I was trying to buy me some jeans. I had just had this the second baby. She was like a month, maybe six weeks old or so. And I had bought some jeans. I went to the store. And mind you, I still thought that after I had our second one, that I would go back down to my size eight. I was trying on the eight, didn't fit. Trying on the 10, the 12, no, the 14, no. I started crying when I realized that I had blown up to a size 16 after having the second baby. And I know part of it was just the food when we moved to Texas. Yeah. OMG, the food, you know, and and we didn't know about eating or any of that kind of stuff, but there was a little bit of depression going on because we had moved from family, and I was, I went from being in the community and being active and being around family and people that were familiar to us too in a new state, in a new city, in a new place that we were, we were staying in these condominiums for a while because of the bank, uh, his job. So we stayed there for a while, but all I did every day, I was home with two babies all day long. Nobody really to talk to, except we'd have to make some long distance phone calls. But that uh I didn't realize, you know, all that it took. And I'd say from 97, you know, when I realized I had gone up to a size 16, from 97, and even still today, I still yo-yo between 10 and 16 on my size. Um the other thing, when I was talking about pregnancies, for me, I realized I had I had five pregnancies and four births within a nine-year span of time. So that that does a lot to the body, at least for me. Some women can lose it and you know, go back, bounce right back. I didn't have that bounce back story. I wish that I did. But by the time I was 35, I had four kids. And, you know, we had two, then we have a break, a five-year break, then we had two more. So I was in my mid-30s by the time we had the last two. So for me, that was significant, and I didn't even realize it at the time. And then there came the, I call them the hormone wars, the hormonal wars that I'm still dealing with because you've got, you know, women go through, whether you have kids or not, women go through premenopause, perimenopause, and then they reach menopause, and and after that is postmenopause. For me, I'm the the perimenopause. Oh my god, that that was so tough and such a challenge for me. You know, bloating, hot flashes, irregular cycles, weight gain that it just, no matter what I did, it just wouldn't not go away. You know, and I wasn't the one of those that would, I wasn't a fan of hormone therapy, but I might consider that. I just don't know. But hormones off the charts, you know, balancing, you know, the estrogen and the progesterone and all of the stress and the mood swings and all of these things that come behind it. I'll tell you, ever since I turned 26 and had that first baby, I have not felt like myself. Here I am 56, 30 years, and I still I don't feel like myself, you know. Um, and it's it's just a really, it's a really strange thing for me. And I'm only speaking, this is my story. So I'm sure some women You feel like yours. You uh oh. He's gonna say something bad. Don't even say it. I was gonna say you feel like yourself to me.

SPEAKER_02

You are so, so terrible with that. So anyway.

SPEAKER_01

All those years, all those body changes, but guess what? Them babies kept coming up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they sure did.

SPEAKER_04

They sure did.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that body changed, but them babies, the babies still came.

SPEAKER_04

But anywho, that is my story. And you know, even things like I'll say other physical things like libido changes, you know, not feeling sexy, you know, that has an effect. You know, I think it was a hormonal thing for me and you know, the weight gain and all of that. Um, and then I started, you know, when I got to my 40s, when I hit my mid-40s, I started taking having to take blood pressure medication. So all of these little things just started happening and started causing me to feel the effects of the body change. Um but one of the things I have to constantly remind myself is that my body comes from God. It is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in me, and I am not my own. So what I realize is this body is going to change, period. Some things I can I can work on, but other things I just can't change. I can't change the gray hair unless I dye it all the time, which I do all the time, but this is my solution to gray, right? Thank you, Jazz. I love you, girl. But anyway, so the bottom line is you know, never been a big eater. Um, I do enjoy working out, but the the bigger thing for me was just it's still a struggle, is taking time for myself because I've always sabotaged myself. I I've always kind of let, you know, let myself go to to serve others, which is not a good thing. It's not a good thing for anybody, ladies and men. But that is my story, and I'm still working on it. I'm still learning how to embrace my body changes and deal with it, dealing with those feelings. So, what about you, Bay?

SPEAKER_01

What's cool is, you know, Roz and I, we've been together, so we've we've been married 31 years. We dated six years prior to that. So 37 years, and she has seen every body change I've had. I mean, for real. So, you know, in the beginning, you know, there was what I call pre-military, because I I I served in the military.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And then there was post-military. So when I came home all swole and all swole and strong. Strong, man. So she saw my, she saw my pre-military, she saw my, you know, my post-military body. But then, you know, as we continued to move on in our relationship, like Ross said, you know, you know, she got pregnant with our first child. Her favorite thing to eat was AW Root Beer fish sandwiches.

SPEAKER_04

With the chocolate shake and the fries.

SPEAKER_01

With the chocolate shake and the fries. So guess who was right there with her eating those fish sandwiches with chocolate shakes and french fries?

SPEAKER_00

I had weird cravings with all the pregnancy fries.

SPEAKER_01

I was. So basically, what was happening is I was gaining what they call, you know, sympathy weight. She mentioned moving to Houston. Yes. Darn you, Papa Dough. I got two issues. I got an issue with Papa Doe, and I got an issue with my mom on this one. Here's my issue with Papa Del. You serving everything out on platters, not just a plate, but on a platter. And then my mom, you better eat everything off that plate. So I got trauma going on in my mind. I'm sitting there eating all this food on the tube. It's good. I'm just getting swole. And it's not that good swole, that post-military swole that I had. It's that other swole.

SPEAKER_04

I was blowing up. And don't forget the ice cream.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. And they had that uh, what was it called? That um sweet potato pecan pie. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, that was good.

SPEAKER_01

So, you know, like Ross, I've experienced seesaw weight, you know, back in uh 2010. 2010 was probably close to being the biggest that I was in my life. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, probably about I was like 267, something like that. I I was a big boy. And uh, but in in in in 2010, I ended up getting sick. Yeah. I mean, it was it was weird. I don't know where I had a grandma's seizure, had never been sick before. Um I I would say I was always healthy, but at that time, obviously, I wasn't healthy. You know, later on found out it had something to do with my time in the military. But once that started happening, and I mean those seizures started happening very frequently, one of the other factors for body changes is medication. So side effects. Yeah, I had to get on that medication, and there were side effects with that medication. I yeah, I remember sitting in front of a computer just like a zombie. I I couldn't even pull a thought together. Yeah. So when we're in relationships and we're looking at body changes and how individuals are impacted by whether it's medication, you know, what's happening with their weight, whatever the case may be, that requires another level of commitment in the relationship.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Then 2020 came around, right? So after we got my medication right, things stabilized. Man, I really started working out, really working on getting my weight down, and I got it down. Well, then comes the shutdown of 2020.

SPEAKER_02

The whole world couldn't go anywhere.

SPEAKER_01

You know, my favorite sport is racquetball, couldn't go play racquetball, couldn't do anything. Everybody had masks on their face, and you were smelling your own breath breath, and you thought, oh my goodness, this is what my breath smells like. 2020 happens, right? Blew up again. And so by the end of 2021, I was looking at photographs and I thought to myself, this is ridiculous. This has just got to stop. So now, you know, we walk, and uh, I do power walking and what I call jocking, where she's walking next to me and I'm just kind of doing this slow-paced, you know, jog in place. But, you know, those have been some of the things that we have done, and just some of our, you know, some of our uh body change experiences, if you

Menopause: Real Issues Women Face

SPEAKER_01

would.

SPEAKER_04

So let's talk about some real issues. So I want to start with the ladies. Um, and this doesn't pertain to every lady, but uh, there are some common threads with women with the body change. It's just going to happen, period. For for for women, I will say this first and foremost, you are not alone. There is nothing that you're gonna go through with a body change that somebody else hasn't gone through. I guarantee you, I promise you, especially somebody in your family. It's it's just it's it's inevitable. So for a lot of women, there's I'm just I'm just gonna call these things out. For a lot of women, there they may go through a period where they don't feel sexy, they don't like or particular and particularly enjoy the way their bodies have changed. Also, pregnancy, fatigue, weight gain, hormonal imbalances, even hair loss for women, that's a real deal too. Um, I noticed, like, you know, sometimes with my I don't have any more hair on my legs, which I thought was kind of strange.

SPEAKER_01

You know what's crazy? Mine started disappearing too. And you know where it showed up in my ears and in my nose. I'm like, come on, man. Who wants an afro coming out their afro?

SPEAKER_04

Coming out their ears. That's that's it's it's funny, but it's not funny, man.

SPEAKER_01

Man, that's real.

SPEAKER_04

We can do some things about that. Can't do nothing about the hair loss on the legs, though. But you can do something about those ears in that nose,

Issues & Physical Changes with Kids/Youth

SPEAKER_04

and even when it comes to dealing with kids or grandkids, they go through body changes as well. So, you know, I remember when when the girls were little, I I gave all of them, I had this book for girls. It was, you know, the little body change. I can't I I forgot the name of it, but it's a really good, thorough book. It talks about starting to having to wear bras and starting menstruating and cleaning yourself in proper ways, wearing deodorant, you know, how to dress in different types of things, how to feel secure. Um, so it was a great book. And even for young men, they need to know these things as well. So I think talking to kids, letting them feel like they can come to you about their body change, I think is very important. I try to do that with the kids. So sometimes they didn't always come to me, which, you know, I'm a little sad about that. And some of it is my fault, but we'll talk about that with parenting a little later. No, no.

SPEAKER_01

Let me actually, you know what, let me let me jump in on this. Um, because, you know. You're talking about it from a mom perspective and even from the perspective of a dad.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You know, the truth is this the reason why you want to have the conversation with them is a couple of things. You know, one of one of the big things is to keep them from feeling ashamed. You know, um, you know, we we talked about ED earlier, but I remember having conversations with my son and my nephew about things you may be experiencing, right? All of a sudden you wake up in the bed wet, but it's not P. Okay. You know what I'm talking about. Well, that can cause them to feel ashamed. That can cause them to feel embarrassed. But if you have those conversations ahead of time, if you start talking to them about it ahead of time, when it happens, it's not a surprise. And so that immediately, you know, it just it immediately cuts down the barrier of you being afraid of having the conversation and just it being uncomfortable for them. And then the second thing is simply this if you address it with them first, it keeps them from seeking erroneous information from some of their horny buddies.

SPEAKER_04

Say that again.

SPEAKER_01

It keeps them from seeking erroneous information from some of their little horny buddies. And it cuts down on that weird curiosity.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, true.

SPEAKER_01

So when you're having conversations, it cuts through curiosity, it cuts through um confusion, and it also creates an atmosphere where there's not fear or any shame.

SPEAKER_04

That's true. The other thing with women, I'll I'll say this and then I think I'm gonna be done. But one of the other things is this whole thing with menopause and getting through that portion of menopause. Even though the body changes, everybody changes in a different way. So some women can go through menopause and not even feel anything. Others might just deal with hot flashes, others might deal with mood swings and hot flashes. But in some form or fashion, everybody is going to have some type of symptom of it. Um, every woman is gonna experience some type of symptom behind uh getting to that point of menopause. And it can be it can be a mental, it could take have its mental toll as well. That's what I want to say. And so I think with everybody, everybody change that you experience personally, I think the very first thing is to recognize what you're going through. Acknowledge that you're changing. I think that is the most important thing. Look at what you like and look at what you don't like and what you can change. I think that's the most important thing. Um we need to not only acknowledge it, but then we need to talk to somebody. There's that communication again. Whether you talk to your spouse or your fiance or you talk to a best friend or you go see a doctor, whatever the case may be, make sure that you're having a good conversation with good people that are confident and that will support you and give you some insight, maybe a little wisdom, whatever the case may be. You need to be able to talk. And also, lastly, know that help is available. There's help, you know, there's all kinds of stuff. I know there's something you're gonna talk about a little later, but there is help available for whatever body change you're experiencing and whatever difficults or chat difficulties or challenges that you're facing.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. And there was something when you were talking about menopause, it it made me think about this. And we we talked about this in um, we talked about this in love. There needs to be grace that's given.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

There needs to be grace that's given. So understanding that she's going through menopause, understanding what the different phases of menopause is, and not only understanding the different phases, but how is that impacting your spouse specifically? Having that open dialogue and then extending grace. Part of that may be um her sexual drive may not be where it was before. And I know it may seem like I'm talking a lot about sex, but men want to have sex. I'm I mean, I'm just keeping it real. Yeah. So you have to extend grace when she is going through whatever it is that she's going through and as she goes through this process. So, any any more from from your point of view from the women's?

SPEAKER_04

I will say this, even though some w some women may lose the sex drive, but guess what? It'll come back. Yeah, it comes back.

SPEAKER_01

Overdrive.

SPEAKER_04

Stop it.

SPEAKER_03

Stop it, stop it.

SPEAKER_01

Overdrive. Okay.

"Manopause" & Real Issues Men Face

SPEAKER_01

All right. So speaking about sex drive, guys, I want to talk to you. This is real talk now. Yeah, real talk. You know, I had a conversation, I had a conversation with Ross. I was like, babe, I just I just want to make sure that you are still being satisfied. Why are you laughing? No, seriously, I had the conversation and I needed to make sure that she was satisfied, or I needed to understand whether or not she needed more from me. But I I took the I took the first step and created that space to be able to have that conversation. Now I'm 54, obviously, I'm getting older, things are changing, but I still want to make sure that my wife is satisfied. So if she would have said no, well, guess what? It would have been okay for me to contact my physician and get the little blue pill. You know, go to hymns.com, you know, to get what I need because it is important for me to bring pleasure to my wife. Okay. Now, make sure you watch the marriage episode. There is something in there about pleasing one another that is going to blow your mind. So I wanted to make sure that I am bringing pleasure to my wife because I don't want her. Okay, I need to go find me in. Stop it.

SPEAKER_00

Stop it.

SPEAKER_01

I need to go find me a stud. No, you ain't trying to go find no stud. Okay, so here's the other thing. You know, hey, sometimes we lose the six-pack. I think after I got out of the military, I think I had an eight or ten pack. But guess what? I got a nice one pack. I got a nice one pack, and it's all good. You know, other things that I've experienced as fatigue, stress was a huge problem for me. Yes. And from time to time, it still is. And that stress starts impacting how my body functions and how I'm able to interact with my wife, my children, just all of the relationships that I have. Muscle atrophy, you know, um, you may have been swole and and and and bulked up tough, but I don't care how much, how many weights you lift, muscle atrophy happens as you get older. Ask Arnold Schwarzenegger. Go take a look at him now. He still works out, but guess what? He started experiencing atrophy. All right. And so, like we mentioned earlier, you know, there's side effects for medication and things of that nature. You know, those are some things that that we experience. Those are real issues that we experience as men.

Overcoming Body Change Issues… It Starts with Acceptance

SPEAKER_04

So let's talk about overcoming these challenges. This is probably a little bit tough because some of them not necessarily, there are some of them you're not necessarily going to overcome, but but some of them you're gonna learn have to learn how to just embrace it. That's gonna be the overcoming is just embracing the change. It is what it is, it is what it is. So, first and foremost, expect it. Know that it's coming, it's coming down your street. I promise you. If you haven't experienced body changes by now, you keep on living.

SPEAKER_01

It's gonna happen. That's like the ice cream man.

SPEAKER_04

You start hearing that it's about to come.

SPEAKER_01

It's about to come down your street.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely, absolutely. Secondly, embrace it. Yes, you know, um, you know, we've heard that term age gracefully. I love that term now. I used to be like, uh, you know, when I was in my 30s, I didn't think about it. But now, yeah, I like that term, age gracefully. What do I mean by that? You know, the gray hair, the beard, you know, rock it. If you got gray hair, rock it. It is it's so much easier to do that than trying to dye it all the time. That is so weird. No, and so it's I don't want to say weird. I want to say it's a challenge, you know, because you once you do it, you got to keep on doing it. So if you get them grays popping, just just let them, just let them come on out. If if you got the courage, let them come on out. You know, when we hit our 40s, we started having to wear these things right here. Readers, it's so important. You know, put the readers on, but get some nice ones. There's designer readers.

SPEAKER_01

For real. You know, okay, so my my birthday is uh 1111. So if you want to do some Cash App gifts, that's cool.

SPEAKER_00

But on 1110, I had 2020 vision when I woke up on 111 on my 40th birthday. I'm like, is that my walking? I'm like, what the heck?

SPEAKER_01

That is my it was crazy, but that literally happened. So it doesn't happen to everyone, but that that happened to me. When I turned 40, it's like, man, I was seeing double. It was blurred vision. So you're right. So we if your vision changes, you're absolutely right, honey. We got to rock some nice glasses.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, get some nice glasses, it'll boost the confidence a little taste. You know what I'm saying? Oh, for sure. And with the muscles, you know, do what you gotta do. Yeah. Because if if you don't, if you don't use it, you lose it. Period. So work the muscles as much as you can. If if if uh health allows you to do whatever you gotta do, even if it's just a little bit, you know. I mean, we gotta do what we gotta do. You know, do some reps of this, you know what I'm saying? Seriously, this is what probably about a pound or two. But hey, we do what we gotta do because if we don't use it, we lose it. And then as far as like for me, full figure, you know, you become full figure, hey, do what you got, get some clothes that accentuate your body shape. You know, I've become a little more voluptuous. So, hey, I need to wear different clothes. I can't wear the stuff that I wore when I was in my 20s. It won't even look right. Even if I was a little smaller, I still don't necessarily look right on me. Not to say not everybody is like me, but for me, I need to have something that's a little more mature, um, that's a little more provocative. And and then things like um, you know, if you got it, if you got, if you can afford it, get a tailor. You know, I want to go there one day and get some tailors. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

It's not a problem. Like, share, and subscribe. I'll take her to the tailor, I promise.

SPEAKER_04

What else can we do to make adjustments?

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so the next thing that we can do is adjust to the change. And what I mean by that is make sure that you're supporting one another as they go through the changes. Don't be dogmatic. No, seriously, don't be dogmatic and putting pressure, unnecessary pressure. Support each other as you go through the change. So, for example, if I'm getting up to go out walk, go ahead, babe, you go ahead and do your walk thing. You know what I'm saying? Or encouraging if I'm only able to do five reps and I'm struggling on the six, oh, you my strong man. But seriously, support and encourage one another as they go through that process of change. Now, if necessary, have a conversation with your doctor. If it's something that's serious, have the conversation with the doctor. Now, I'm glad I said if it's something serious.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Be willing to have the conversation, the more difficult conversation with your spouse, with your child, your friend, fiance, whatever you want.

SPEAKER_04

If you haven't already.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. If you haven't had the conversation, be be free and comfortable to have the difficult conversation. So we were, we were sitting at home and we were role-playing, and I was like, okay, you know, what if what if a what if a wife wasn't satisfied sexually with her husband anymore? It's like, how does that how does that conversation take place? It's like, how do you as a wife have that conversation with the husband? And I was trying to think about that because, you know, obviously that's a sensitive subject, and that could potentially uh take offense. So I thought to myself, um, I thought, you know what, babe, the the best thing, I think the best approach, so women, the best approach would be something like this. Asking him, how does he feel about the intimacy within the relationship? How do you feel our intimacy is? Right? And that's a good way to put it. Exactly. So what happens if he says, oh girl, it's good, but but you know it's not good. So what's the what's the comeback?

SPEAKER_04

Well, I have some concerns. At least that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_01

I do have exactly I do have some concerns. And I'd like for us to have a safe discussion about it. So I I I truly believe if you position it as I want to have a safe space discussion with you because I really do love you. And I know that we are both going through changes, and I want us to give each other grace, and I want us to work through these changes together.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely.

Biblical Truth— Psalm 139 and Verse 14

SPEAKER_01

All right. So let's talk about strengthening and cultivating this change. So I'm gonna share with you a biblical truth today. It comes from Psalm. This is actually one of my favorite ones, Psalm 139 and 14. It says, I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works, oh Lord, and my soul knows that very well. Very well, very well. I love it. So it doesn't matter what stage we are in in our physical bodies, the truth remains, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous. Woo! You are a marvelous work of art. Period.

SPEAKER_04

I love that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's what it is. That says it all. That says it all. And I think if we have, if we maintain that type of mindset, no matter what phase our body is in, that we're fearfully, wonderfully made, marvelous in our eyesight, if we maintain that perspective, it will always be good within the relationship.

Power Takeaways for Body Changes

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so every week there's a few PowerPoints that we want to make sure we share with you. So here's here's the first one. Share your concerns by speaking from the heart. Speak truth in love. That's very, very important. Speak truth in love and not out of emotion. So it it doesn't need to be some knee-jerk response or something like that. It needs to be in a safe space and spoken out of love. The second thing is this, and this is a good one. You love the person's spirit and their soul. You don't love their body. That's right. Because, like we said before, this is going to decay and this is going to die. This doesn't communicate to you or define who you are. Who you really are is on the inside of you, and that's who you're really in love with. So always remember you're in love with their spirit and soul and not their body. The physical body, that's a bonus. She's fearfully and wonderfully made and marvelous. That's a bonus. All right. And you are committed to growing older with each other as long as life lasts together. That's right.

SPEAKER_04

Part of that marriage covenant.

SPEAKER_01

Part of the marriage covenant.

SPEAKER_04

We're one flesh in the earthly realm, we're one flesh.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. Absolutely. So, do you have any more points?

SPEAKER_04

I would say this: don't hold people to unrealistic expectations while they're going through changes.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You know, sometimes you might hear these little sad stories about, you know, women, once they get pregnant or what have you, they their bodies change naturally, they'll pick up weight or they look a little different for that period of time. And sometimes after having the babies, they don't change back right away or you know, they don't change back at all. And that can be kind of hard for the women, but I think when people expect you to just bounce back like something wrong with you, you ain't, you know what I'm saying? I think that's just their own unrealistic expectation of how someone should look on the outside. And remember, it's not about the outside, it's about the heart. And I think if we hold people to that, I mean, if we don't, if we stop holding people to this expectation that we have, which is very unfair, I think when we stop doing that, then healing can begin. And that person can feel uh safe in knowing, hey, whether I change or not, I'm gonna do what I got to do to change what I don't like about myself.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But if I if I like the way I am, if I'm embracing it, then you're just gonna have to deal with it because you're supposed to love me as I love you.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

Um, and also lastly, pray and seek God's word pertaining to health, wellness, and accepting changes that we just we can't we can't do anything about. And in doing that, I think that's the first step in learning how to embrace body changes because we do need to do that. Yeah, um, in marriage, you know, praying and keep keep on enjoying the blessing of having your spouse remain committed to each other despite whatever changes take place. Because remember, you you're in love with the person, you're in love with the soul, the spirit, the friendship, not the body.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

That's the blessing, is is the person themselves. All

Live Out Your Love Letter Challenge

SPEAKER_04

right.

SPEAKER_01

And so, you know, every week we want to challenge you to live out your love letter. So let me see what challenge I got for you this time.

SPEAKER_04

That's a good one.

SPEAKER_01

I want to challenge you to have some pillow talk. So, pillow talk is what Ross and I do. And we're really on pillows when we're talking, right? But pillows, it's a soft, it's comforting, it's there's this element of safety.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

So we want you to have pillow talk. So, husband and wives, you can actually get on the pillow. If you're dating, go get on the couch pillow, okay?

SPEAKER_02

Marriage.

SPEAKER_04

Or if you're on the phone or if you're, you know, FaceTiming, you be at your pillow and she be at her pillow, however, that works.

SPEAKER_01

That's your pillow. So, with your pillow talk, what I want to challenge you to do is identify an area of health, wellness concern, whether it's physical, mental, sexual, whatever the case may be, establish that safe place to talk about it. Yeah, just have the conversation. I don't like how I feel about myself. I don't feel sexy anymore. I'm concerned that you don't find me attractive. Whatever the case may be, honey, I've been having this heart murmur, but I ain't been telling you about. Whatever it is, yeah, have some pillow talk, create that safe space and have that conversation. Absolutely. All right. So, hey, let us know how you feel about this content. Make sure you like, share, and subscribe because that gives us opportunity to produce more content for you. And um make sure you comment too. Because we take those comments and what we do is we produce other videos. We produce other aftercasts, just short videos to go a little bit deeper in the conversation and answer the questions and um just respond to the comments that you share.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you for thank you for commenting.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. So every time we like to close out in a word of prayer, Roz, am I closing out in prayer this time?

SPEAKER_04

Close out in prayer this time. All right, let's pray for the Packers right now.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, we need Father, bless the Packers. This is our year.

SPEAKER_04

This is our ministry.

SPEAKER_01

God love the Packers too. All right, let's pray. Father, we know that we're going to go through body changes. It's nothing new to you. Father, we just ask that you would help us to extend grace to one another and also grace to ourselves to fully embrace the changes that we go through. Ultimately, we want to glorify you. So, Father, do that through us as we love one another as we love ourselves. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you for watching. Yes, thank you for joining us for another episode of Love Letters with Jason and Ross. Awesome. We'll see you next time.

unknown

Bye.