Love Letters with Jason & Ros

“H.O.T. Level” Relationship Goals!

• Jason and Ros Hamilton • Season 1 • Episode 9

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Every love relationship needs to be at the “H.O.T. Level!”  And no, we’re not talking about chemistry, we’re talking about next-level Honest, Open, and Transparent conversations.

Episode 9, introduces “H” for H.O.T. — which means “Honest, Open, and Transparent.” Jason & Ros explain why reaching H.O.T. level conversation is your:

  • Ultimate relationship goal.
  • Essential next level beyond basic communication.
  • Key to deeper trust, connection, and growth in love.


This episode builds on E3: “C” for Communication and takes it further — sharing how to move from talking to truly connecting. We unpack:

  • What H.O.T. communication really looks like.
  • Why honesty, openness, and transparency are relationship game-changers.
  • What typically prevents couples from having H.O.T. conversations?
  • How to overcome fear, defensiveness, and shutdown.
  • How H.O.T. conversations can transform your relationship.

If you’re ready to end surface-level talking and start building a genuine connection, this episode is for you.

Chapters:

  • 0:00     Welcome to Love Letters with Jason & Ros
  • 1:30     The What, Why, and How of H.O.T. Conversation 
  • 3:06     The Significance of Being H.O.T.
  • 8:03     Three Levels To Communication
  • 10:13   “We Get H.O.T.”- How Our Conversation Journey is Still Progressing
  • 16:00   When H.O.T. Turns Cold— Challenges of Being H.O.T.
  • 21:00   Biblical Truths— Zechariah 8, Verses 16-17
  • 22:40   Overcoming Through H.O.T. Conversations- Power Takeaways
  • 37:20   Love Letter Challenge & Closing Prayer
  • 40:09   Bonus: H.O.T. Blooper! 😊

Additional Content & Notes:

3 Levels of H.O.T. Communication:
Every relationship has a “journey” to take and “purpose” to fulfill, and communication is the key to getting it there. 

  • Level I –  Basic conversation and understanding of each other that lead you to the altar (“I Do”)
  • Level II – Specific conversations that keep you connected (“I Love You”)
  • Level III – Intimate conversations that keep you committed to each other (“I Am With You Through It All”)

H.O.T. Conversation Takes:

  • Vulnerability
  • Trust
  • Forgiveness
  • Patience
  • Humility

Overcoming Through H.O.T. Conversations:

  1. Practice— Start with something small that you can be honest, open, and transparent about.
  2. Recognize Fear's Presence— Fear of rejection, abandonment, or loss; is a tactic of the enemy
  3. Pray & Acknowledge God— Allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide your tongue, providing a strategy for communicating wisely.
  4. Choose a Time— Give a heads-up to schedule an appropriate time.
  5. Choose a Place— Set an environment conducive to having hard conversations. 

Bible Truth:

  • Zechariah 8, Verses 16-17 - "But this is what you are to do: Speak the truth in love to each other. Render true and sound judgments that lead to peace in your gates. Don’t plot evil against each other, and stop your love of telling lies that you swear are the truth. I hate all these things, declares the Lord.”

Live Out Your Love Letter Challenge:

  • Practice being “vulnerable” with your loved ones! 

Everything in one place: JasonAndRos.com

Live out your Love Letter. 💌

Intro

SPEAKER_01

We went to a marriage conference and coming out of that conference, we had hot conversation, but this time it was intentional. Exactly. Because we realized over the years we we've communicated to connect, but we have not we had not communicated for a long time to commit, to commit to one another in working through the hard stuff.

SPEAKER_04

The number one challenge is fear. Yes. And you know, like Roz was saying a moment ago, we got out of that conference, and I'm telling you, my heart was pumping like Kool-Aid. It was going so fast because I knew there were some things that I needed to tell her. But fear was gripping me. Guilt and shame have was gripping me throughout time. But knowing that I was about to step out and say something that I'd held in, man, I'm telling you, fear was gripping me. So the number one challenge that you're going to experience is fear. All right, the love letter today is aged for honest, open, and transparent conversation.

SPEAKER_01

Hey family, and welcome to another exciting episode of Love Letters with Jason and Roz.

The What, Why, and How of H.O.T. (Honest, Open, and Transparent) Conversation

SPEAKER_01

This episode will be an offshoot of the communication episode that we did, episode three. So make sure that you watch episode three when you get a chance. So you'll know exactly what we're talking about here. It's a little bit more like a part two. So let's talk about navigating hot conversation. First of all, let's do a little disclaimer. We do not own this term. We heard it about four or five years ago from a couple of pastors. So tell us a little bit about hot.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Okay. So hot is really our go-to strategy for real talk and hard conversations. And what I mean by that is the stuff you really don't want to share with your spouse or the person that you're in a love relationship with. It's the stuff that you have a tendency to hide or keep on the down low. You understand what I'm saying. However, the thing that you need to understand about hot conversations is simply this. Communication is one of the core pillars for building strong relationships and marriages. Okay, this is really gonna get you. Since that's the case, over 67% of relationships end because of lack of communication or poor communication, which are the leading cause. With that in mind, we have to get hot communication right. That's right. The probability of our relationships ending is way too high to miss it.

The Significance of Being H.O.T.

SPEAKER_04

So now the question is simply this how do we get hot? How do we get hot? Okay, being hot doesn't come easy for most couples. It's a skill and it's a process that develops over time. And the reason is because there's a fear that comes with having hot communication.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. And there are a few other requirements as well. First and foremost, we've got to have God. I mean, apart from, you know, Jesus said, apart from me, you can do nothing. But the truth of the matter is we need the Holy Spirit to guide our tongues and guide our hearts when we're having hard, difficult conversations, but they must take place. And in that, for each other, when we come to the table, we need to have vulnerability, we need to have things like trust. Yeah, we need to be humble, we need to be ready to forgive. Even though that might be a little process, we've got to go through all of the feelings and the interactions that come with having hot conversation. But in the end, we need to have a like-minded goal to get through it, to talk through it. So it helps when you already have a connection with your mate. It helps when you enjoy talking with them like we love. We love talking to each other.

SPEAKER_02

We better.

SPEAKER_01

It really helps when you look forward to talking to the person and you love being around them. And lastly, it also helps when you are committed to working through the whatever the difficulties and challenges that come. Conversation and good communication is the key to ensuring that eventually you're going to get through this. It's going to be something in the past that you both can turn around and look and say, Yep, we've been through that too, and look at where we are today. Exactly. And here's another thing about how to have hot conversation. You've got to have the right environment. You know, you have to make sure that you're in a comfortable place where you're sitting comfortably, you're relaxed. Even it's like pillow talk, different things like that. You want to make sure that you are comfortable. You can't have any cell phones, and you know, it needs to be a digital-free zone. So, no, you can't be looking on your phone while someone is talking to you. You want to make sure that the space is also private so that you can have conversation and not worry about additional ears listening in. So, Jason, why would you say hot conversation is important?

SPEAKER_04

The best way I can answer that question is simply this. So, everyone, everyone loves a good story. Yes, they do. Everybody loves a good story. And guess what? Your relationship is like a good story. Yes. There's a character, there's this amazing storyline. And in that storyline, you have those cliffhangers, you have plot twists, you have all of these different things that cause you to get really engaged and connected with the character in that story. If you look at your relationship like a character in the story, you need to recognize this. First of all, our relationship is on a journey. Yes. We are going somewhere, and there is a purpose for this journey that we're on, right? And so when we look at it from the story perspective, there are those plot twists, there are those cliffhangers. Basically, what that means is adversity is going to come in our relationships.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. Every book has a difficult chapter, or two, or five, or seven, or twenty if it's a novel, right?

SPEAKER_04

But every relationship is going to experience adversity, it's going to experience challenge. And guess what? That's just a part of the story. That's it. Being hot is critical to fulfilling purpose and God's intended end for your relationship story. So my story has an end, but because of the adversities, because of the challenges, because of those things that may come against our relationship, there is the necessity to have hot communication. Absolutely. Our communication journey is still progressing. We're still working at our communication. We get hot.

SPEAKER_01

We get hot. We still get hot when we need to.

SPEAKER_04

Honest, open, and transparent. I just want to make sure we keep focused on the right thing with this episode.

Three Levels To Communication

SPEAKER_04

What I've learned, this is so interesting. There are three levels to communication. Now there's probably more, but for the sake of being hot, there's three levels to communication, right? That I've experienced. Level one, there's that communication that gets us to the altar. There's the communication that takes place that gets me to saying, I do. So those are the communications where we're learning about one another. What are your interests? What are your interests? What do you value? What do you want for the future? Those types of conversations move us to a place of understanding one another and making the decision on whether or not we want to take the step together.

SPEAKER_01

Are we compatible?

SPEAKER_04

Are we compatible? Exactly. But then there's level two. Now we've crossed over and we're officially married. Level two is communication that keeps us connected.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so you probably have heard about relationships that once they got married, all of a sudden he went to his room, she went to her room, and that was it. They stopped talking. They stopped talking. But know that level two communication is there to maintain connection. Yes. So it's like, hey, you know, I think it's, I think I want to have a baby. Or, you know, I was thinking, you know, maybe it's time that we move from renting to purchasing a home. Or, hey, let's go out on a date and just go to the movie, have fun, and let's just talk about the movie and how it made us feel. Those are conversations that are focused on maintaining connection, right? And then there's level three. Level three is hot communication. Now let's talk about the purpose there. The purpose for that communication is to keep us committed to fulfilling the purpose for our marriage or relationship. Yes. So this has now gone beyond just us staying connected. Now we're talking about fulfilling purpose. Okay. So, you

“We Get H.O.T.”- How Our Conversation Journey is Still Progressing

SPEAKER_04

know, in our relationship, I believe the first hot conversation that we had wasn't one that I initiated. She actually initiated it. And uh, you know what was interesting, basically, yeah, I think I may have told this story in the in the finance episode.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Go ahead and tell it again. Okay, I'll tell it again. This is still a great story. Condensed version. I was in the office, she came into the office and she had bank statements. Now, at that time, I did not understand how to manage finances. So I was bouncing check, overdrawn on accounts, you know, credit cards maxed out, everything bad that you can think about finances. I was doing it. The problem was I was trying to cover it up. And so here's our first experience with hot conversation. Ross comes in. I don't know that she's got bank statements hidden behind her back. And she asks the question, so how are things coming along with our finances? And I'm like, uh oh, in the back of my mind, uh-oh. But then I was like, okay, they're all good. You know, everything is good. You know, all things are well with our finances. And she pulls out the bank statements and she goes, then what is this? That was our first hot conversation.

SPEAKER_01

Now we didn't know it was the hot conversation at the time. Looking back, though, that was pretty hot.

SPEAKER_04

That was pretty hot. It was very confrontational, made my armpits itch and sweat a little bit. But but here's the deal. When I said earlier about that third level being hot communication that keeps us committed to fulfilling the purpose that God has for our marriage or relationships, guess what? God had a purpose or He has a purpose for our finances. That's right. So had not Ross initiated that very uncomfortable hot conversation, we wouldn't have started fulfilling purpose for our finances.

SPEAKER_01

Because the bottom line is this when you know better, you can do better.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

You have to open up your the lines of communication, you have to begin to speak out, come clean, as I always say. You've got to come clean if you don't want to be dirty anymore, you know. But we have to do things together, you're not alone in this thing. That's why you have your partner or your spouse because we have to do things together. That's that was the design for us not to be alone in certain journeys, okay?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So now let me tell you about our story. So were you done with the story?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah. I just wanted to let them know that was our first experience with hot communication. But I I do want to just make this point. That, like Ross said, we didn't know it was hot communication. It was somewhat confrontational, but that's okay because it got us to a place of purpose, a place of understanding, and a place of accountability. So I just wanted to make sure we we made that clarified and made that point clear. I love that.

SPEAKER_01

In episode three, we talk about our story as the 30-year communication gap. We went to a marriage conference and coming out of that conference, we had hot conversation. But this time it was intentional. Exactly. Because we realized over the years we we've communicated to connect, but we have not, we had not communicated for a long time to commit, to commit to one another in working through the hard stuff.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

So we just came clean about a few other things, additional things that we hadn't really shared with each other, and we realized, hey, we need to continue to be transparent with one another.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

You know, sometimes you might be dealing with something that you really don't want to talk about at the time. Maybe the Lord is dealing with your heart about something, and that is okay. But there needs to be a time where you feel a sense from the Holy Spirit, it is time to open up and let's have some hot conversation. Let's have some dialogue about this because now we don't want it to fester anymore. We've got to open up the lines of communication. So during that 30-year communication gap, when we came together in 24, we were more vulnerable with each other. We were more trustworthy. Forgiveness came easy because, you know, I love him. He loves me. We are committed to this thing that we have and the journey to go together. Sometimes those challenges come, you know, it's the enemy trying to bring in and sow seeds of discord within your relationship. So you've got to recognize, hey, I need to nip this in the bud right now so that we won't, it won't fester and then we won't have this big wedge trying to come between us and pull us apart. Exactly. Having hot conversation keeps us connected, committed, and together to work through things and see victory.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. Absolutely.

When H.O.T. Turns Cold— Challenges of Being Honest, Open, and Transparent

SPEAKER_01

So now let's talk about when hot turns cold. What are some of those challenges that we have? What is really the main challenge in hot conversation?

SPEAKER_04

The number one challenge is fear. Yes. And, you know, like Roz was saying a moment ago, we got out of that conference, and I'm telling you, my heart was pumping like Kool-Aid. It was going so fast because I knew there were some things that I needed to tell her. But fear was gripping me. Guilt and shame have was gripping me throughout time. But knowing that I was about to step out and say something that I'd held in, man, I'm telling you, fear was gripping me. So the number one challenge that you're going to experience as it relates to having hot conversation is fear. But fear of what? Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, and fear of losing the relationship. Telling the truth or revealing things you are hiding, that's scary. That is. It really is. It's not a comfortable thing to do. I mean, think about some of the things that you may have done when you were a kid, right? And you had to come and tell the truth. I I'll never forget this. Me and a friend of mine coming home from school, we had stopped in this store. And I stole a deck of cards. Now, here's what's crazy. I had money in my pocket. I had money in my pocket, but I stole the deck of cards for whatever reason. And I remember getting caught. And so I had to come home and tell my mom that I got a ticket for stealing. Man, I was sitting on the side of that, on the end of that table, so scared. But I had to tell her. Fear is so strong, and it tries to keep you so scared, and it tries to keep you from moving forward. So that's number one, it's fear. And then number two is you may not have established rules of engagement. And basically, what I mean by that, in communication, we gave you a list of guidelines to help you with having conversation or having difficult conversations. So some may not have a game plan.

SPEAKER_01

That's right. If you would how they're going to communicate.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. So you may not have a game plan. And then, okay, then on the other end of the hoop the stick, you may have a game plan, but you're choosing not to follow the game plan. You're just choosing to stay in a place of guilt, stay in a place of shame, a place of denial, and that's not that's not really good for you.

SPEAKER_01

Another challenge to hot conversation is when you get the nerve to say, oh, I'm ready to talk about it, but you don't consider the person that you're telling it to. You just kind of blurt it out. It's at an inappropriate time, it's at an inappropriate, it's in an inappropriate space. And you're having this hard conversation, and they're just not not even ready to receive that. Their mind is on something else. They might be at work, they might be at a home going service for somebody, and you you're shooting this out to them at a really bad time. And I that is very inconsiderate. And your hot conversation will turn cold real quick if you choose to do something like that. So I would always say it's so important to make sure that you give them a warning. Say, hey, there's something that's been on my heart. There's something that I'm dealing with, there's something that I need to talk with you about. I want to have conversation. When is a good time for you? And just go ahead and schedule that to make sure that their heart is in the right place and they're ready to receive whatever it is that you have to say. So being considerate because you want to make sure that trust is there, vulnerability is there, humility is there, forgiveness. Without it, it's gonna be a missed opportunity. I guess that's the best way I could say it. It's going to be a missed opportunity for you to heal, to first expose the situation, yeah, and then give each other that time to process and heal.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. Listen to what I'm about to say. This is staggering. Over two-thirds of relationships end because of lack of communication, poor communication, or consistent arguing. So if we don't get a hot conversation right, we are now putting ourselves in a position to lose. That's right. And nobody likes to lose. So,

Biblical Truths— Zechariah 8, Verses 16-17

SPEAKER_04

Ross, how can we how can we strengthen and and cultivate healthy, hot communication?

SPEAKER_01

Well, you know how we do. We turn to God's word. We turn to the word because that is truth. And there is no problem, there is no situation that God cannot solve.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

There is a resolve, there is a plan, there is a purpose for everything. Challenges come, but those are opportunities not only for us to grow closer together, but to grow closer to Him. Remember the triangle. Here's a fabulous scripture, and I'm gonna read it out of the NLT. It's Zechariah 8, 16 and 17, and it says this This is what you are to do. Speak the truth in love to one another and render true and sound judgments, so there will be peace in your gates. And do not plot evil against one another. Stop your love of telling lies that you swear are the truth. I hate all these things, says the Lord. So this wasn't Zechariah saying it. It was God. He hates when people lie. He hates that. That's not a reflection of him. So we've got to learn how to be open, honest, and transparent in our conversation. And God gives us a direct plan on how we can do that in Zechariah 8, 16, and 17.

SPEAKER_04

Man, that's good.

SPEAKER_01

That's awesome. That is so good.

SPEAKER_04

I'm

Overcoming Through H.O.T. Conversations- Power Takeaways

SPEAKER_04

going to share with you some power takeaways for overcoming through hot conversations. Now, if you want, you can hit the pause button. Go get you a pen and pad of paper because I'm about to drop some gold nuggets like you've never seen before.

SPEAKER_01

Drop them like they had, honey.

SPEAKER_04

All right, drop them like they have. You got that pen and pad. Okay, here we go. You got a seatbelt because you better buckle up on this one. The only way you're going to overcome is by having hot conversations. Bottom line is you gotta talk. Yes. Right? So, how can we do this? Very simple. Practice it. Practice having hot conversation. And what I mean by that is start with something small. Now, it's gotta be truth. It's gotta be something that you're revealing that the other person doesn't know.

SPEAKER_01

So, like surface level stuff.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly, exactly. So, for example, let's say I didn't like let's say I didn't like my wife's top.

unknown

For real?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_04

And she asked me today before the podcast, you think this look cute? And I'm like, yeah, that's that's cute. But on the I know in the back of my head that is not cute at all. This is what practicing hot conversation looks like. You know what, Babe? I need to have a hot conversation with you. First of all, let me apologize. I know you asked me if that top was cute, but I I don't I don't like the top.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

That was easy. That was hot. That was something I was hiding from her that I didn't tell her before, but I just revealed it. That's having hot communication. Now that that's you know, that's something simple. I know that there are heavier things like substance abuse or having an affair or struggling with pornography. There are a lot of things that you may be struggling with that are more heavy hitter, one-two-punch types of things. Now, if you feel like you're at a place based on this after hearing this podcast, that you know what, I do want to have those difficult conversations because I don't want to lose the person that I love. Then step up to the plate and have the more difficult conversation. But if you're not ready yet, how do you get there? You start practicing with small things. Get comfortable telling the whole truth with your love entrance. Here's the next thing: start praying together.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_04

I hope you still got your notepad out because there's three things I want you to pray about. The first is pray together about having hot communications. It's like, Lord, help us to be able to be honest and open and transparent with one another. Yes. That was an easy prayer. Yeah. So start praying that. The second thing is pray for what I call agape responses or godly responses when someone tells you something hot. Basically, what I'm saying is pray for unconditional love. So if Ross tells me something that may be painful, we're praying that, man, when I hear it, I'll respond with unconditional love. And then lastly, pray about the issue.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

So it's one thing to say, hey, this is what I'm struggling with, but it's another thing to say, okay, come on, let's pray about this. The last point that I want to make with regards to this is be an active part of the solution. Okay, so let's use my story about the finances. When Raz called me out about the finances, well, she made it real clear that she didn't trust me. I didn't like that because I want my wife to be able to trust me. And so I had to make myself accountable in the area of finances. As a result, what happened is we started meeting on a regular basis to go over the finances, looking at the money, looking at the bank account, making sure bills were getting paid. Every pay period, 1st and 15th, that was our routine.

SPEAKER_01

Accountability. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04

It was all about accountability. And then after a period of time, the trust was re-established. And then it's like, uh, I don't really need to come and be a part of the financial meeting. In other words, I trust you to do what you made a commitment to do. And Roz, when we were talking about this earlier, you said something interesting about allowing the individual to have time to process.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. I mean, when you lay that big egg on somebody, that hard pill that they have, that horse pill that they need to swallow, don't be offended if they get mad. Don't be offended if they are not ready to forgive you. Don't be offended if they don't want to talk anymore. You've got to understand that they need time to react and process it. You know, you're laying something on them that could be heavy, and they need time to receive what you're saying. They need time to wrap their head around that around it. So be patient with them. Don't expect them to just be like, oh, okay, that's that's fine.

SPEAKER_04

We're good.

SPEAKER_01

You know, people are gonna have feelings. Sometimes, even to this, they may give you that passive aggressive initial response, but once they walk away, it's like, and they start thinking about them like they start getting really mad. So don't be surprised if you see, you know, a blanket and a pillow for you to sleep, sleep in the doghouse or sleep on the couch or something, because it's like I'm very upset. I just needed time to really know how I feel. I didn't want to start an argument over this, but now you've got to stay away from me right now because I might do something. No, no, no, I'm just I'm teasing, but be prepared to extend grace to them. Allow them time to work through how they're feeling. Pray for them, pray that their hearts will come around and come back to you so that you can begin to have even more dialogue about it. Sometimes people are like, okay, I'm not ready for this right now.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And you have to learn how to respect that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. You know, earlier I talked about fear being the number one challenge. Well, fear tells us a story, right? So that fear is fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of losing the relationship. So the presence of fear actually means you want the relationship. If you're afraid of losing them, then that means you really want to maintain this relationship. So that says to me there's already something inside of you that wants to do what's necessary to maintain the relationship. So if two-thirds are going to lose their relationship because they're not having hot conversation, then you need to make up in your mind that you're going to be that one-third. Okay? Here's something that you really need to know. God has not given us a spirit of fear. If you check out 2 Timothy 1 and 7, it says that He has given us a spirit of power, love, and of a sound mind. Sound mind. So that lets me know that there are spiritual forces that are working against the success of our relationships. That's right. They're trying to keep us from fulfilling our purposes. They're trying to keep us from experiencing agape love, from experiencing the unconditional love that comes with forgiving and that comes with receiving grace. The big thing behind that is it's an opportunity for us to see heaven come down and operate in earth. It's an opportunity for us to see what heaven looks like in the earth realm. Yes. When we operate in forgiveness and extending grace, that unconditional love, which is only agape love.

SPEAKER_01

There was something you said earlier. We were talking about, you know, when we were talking and going over our notes. You talked about the seed.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah. So when we don't have hot conversation, it's like a seed that's planted in the ground, right? If you plant an acorn seed in the ground, what's going to happen over time? An oak tree is going to grow up. Big, beautiful oak tree, right? Those oak trees have incredible root systems. Yes. So if we look at that from the perspective of having hot conversation, if you do something and that seed is in the ground, it's so much easier to uproot a seed than it is to try to uproot an oak tree in that deep-seeded root system. That stuff is now tied up and bound up into so many different areas, and it becomes even more difficult to come out of that. Those conversations become very difficult to have. It's so much better for you to be able to, ah, I did this. Let me have the conversation now while it's still a seed versus it germinating, building a deep root system and blossoming into something you really don't want.

SPEAKER_01

And you cannot handle once it once it starts coming up, it's very difficult to do.

SPEAKER_04

Let me tell you, it it would have been so much better if I would have gone to Roz and said, hey babe, I've been messing up with the money, versus her coming to me, asking me, and me lying and trying to cover it up. That's the problem. Hot conversation is needed when you're either lying, hiding something, or just trying to cover something. That's right.

SPEAKER_01

That's right.

SPEAKER_04

That's not healthy for the relationship.

SPEAKER_01

It's not. Set an environment.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

You know, we have, we've talked about this before. We have something called pillow talk. It doesn't necessarily mean we have it in the bed. Sometimes, you know, it's with pillows or whatever. Sometimes it's in the living room or we have a little, we have a little lounge room upstairs. Sometimes we have it there. Sometimes it's in the office. Sometimes it's on a date. But having regular conversations and scheduling those times, you know what? We need to talk about this or that. Sometimes it can even come out in having regular checkups with one another.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

How was your day? How's your week been? You know, we were even talking about that earlier, just learning how to have more hot conversations. Yeah. We don't seem to have them enough, but it could just be in the form of having a checkup.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What's been going on with you lately? What's been going up on up here? What's been going on right here? Professionally, you know, business-wise, finances, what are some things that you've been thinking about? What's been on your heart? Because when in doing that, it doesn't even allow you to have to have too many hot conversations where you're festering something because those little seeds, when you have the checkup, those little seeds.

SPEAKER_04

That's the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they work. That's it's like going to the dentist. You go to the dentist twice, twice a year, you should, to get your teeth checked. And in doing that, each time you go, if there's a little cavity, they'll have to deal with it. But then if you haven't gone, and that you know, that cavity turns into, you know, you need a rook canal. I mean, that's that's money and pain. And time. And time. You know, you come out of there, your mouth all swollen, you know, your jaws hurt from being open so much. But yeah, I mean, it it's so simple to start that way. And and another thing I'm gonna say is this start having dates. Sometimes, for for whatever, there are various reasons why people do not communicate, while couples don't communicate. It's like he's dealing with his thing over there, she's dealing with her thing over here, and they don't come together. But when you make an effort, you know, when you're intentional about going on dates, or even just starting to experience things that you've never experienced before, like going to another country, yeah, or going to a city and staying someplace that you've never, like a bed and breakfast or something, or going someplace to do some mountain climbing or some walking, hiking, doing something that you've never done before and experiencing that together. Even um, we had the ropes course. It's this challenge that you know you do where you you get on these, you do these different types of ropes courses, and sometimes it can be scary. Yes. However, in doing it and in doing it together, that opens up an opportunity for you to have hot conversation. I did not like that.

SPEAKER_03

I ain't gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01

That scared me so bad, or that was actually fun, or I'm proud of myself. I I had more courage and faith in myself than I than I realized. Yeah. So having uh experiences together where you're able to talk about it, your fears and all of that, that opens up dialogue and allows you to begin to easily talk about other things, harder things.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I pray, we pray that you are encouraged by this. So, Jason,

Live Out Your Love Letter Challenge

SPEAKER_01

how do we live out our love letter this week?

SPEAKER_04

Our our love letter challenge for you this week is is real simple. Practice being vulnerable with one another on something simple. Yes. You know, I gave the example before. I don't, you know, I don't like your dress, or I don't like that shirt, or you know, I don't like that haircut. Whatever the case may be, it's something simple though. Or, like Brian said, do something that you've never experienced before and then share your joy, share your fears and what you liked about it, what you didn't like about it. The whole purpose behind these two challenges is to share what's really going on. Yes. And let us know about it. Always make comments. And we want you to continue to like and share and subscribe because we want to make content like this for you because it's really, you know, we looked at, we look at the comments, we read them, we hear the feedback that we're getting. And let me tell you, this content is helping some people. So continue to like, share, and and comment and uh help us grow.

SPEAKER_01

If you have not subscribed, we know we know you're liking this content, we know you're loving this content. We're gonna content, we're gonna say it like that. We know you're loving it, and we would love to have you be a part of the love letter family or share with other people, encourage them to become a part of the love letter family. We are doing this for you because we love you, we love relationships, and we understand the power of two.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah. We can do so much.

SPEAKER_01

Any love relationship, we understand that there is power and purpose in relationships, and we want our relationships to be right.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. Awesome. Well, you want to close us out in prayer? Absolutely. All right, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01

Lord, we thank you. We just thank you for allowing us to talk about hot communication, hot conversations. Help us to be honest, open, and transparent in all of our love relationships. Lord, at the appropriate time, Holy Spirit, lead and guide us on how we are to engage with others in communication, hard conversations. We know that you'll give us the grace to do it. And we just thank you, Lord, for continuing to help our relationships to grow closer, to have better connection and commitment to one another as we are also committed to you, that we will fulfill purpose and glorify you in heaven. It's in Jesus' name we pray and we give you thanks.

SPEAKER_04

Amen.

SPEAKER_01

Amen and amen. Amen.

BONUS: H.O.T. Blooper!

SPEAKER_01

All right. Here's what I was gonna say funny. You know, I have a black shirt over there. I would have, I would have put the black shirt on. We could have been matching if you would have told me you didn't like this shirt. Oh Lord, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. We will see you next time on Love Letters with Jason and Ross. If you like my shirt, comment. Oh Lord, give her TV. Comment because I love this shirt. It's fine. Love you. Bye for now.

SPEAKER_02

That is hilarious.