Your Healing Isn't Working Because the Wound Isn't Yours with Meredith Miller

What if the patterns you can't seem to break — the relationships, the fear, the self-doubt, aren't actually yours to begin with?

In this episode, Dawn sits down with Meredith Miller, ancestral healing guide and author of Becoming Whole, to explore something most healers never reach: the core wound. Not the childhood stuff. Not even the generational trauma we know about. The original ancestral agreement that started it all, and how changing it ripples forward and backward through your entire lineage.

Meredith grew up in Youngstown, Ohio — once named Crime Town USA — and spent years building healing tools the hard way: a near-death experience, time studying under a Peruvian mystic, two months in ayahuasca retreat centers, and a dark night of the soul that brought her to psilocybin alone with her dog in Texas. Then something shifted. Something that changed her mom, without her mom ever knowing what she did.

This conversation will change how you think about healing. If you've done the work and still feel stuck, this is the episode you've been waiting for.

IN THIS EPISODE:
• Why the patterns you can't break probably didn't start with you
• What an "ancestral agreement" is — and how Meredith changes it
• The morphogenetic field, DNA as a movie projector, and how adopted people access it too
• How healing yourself changed Meredith's estranged mother — without a single conversation
• Plant medicine, fear, and finding color in a black-and-white world
• Why 2020 was a "morphic rupture" — and what that means for us now
• The difference between rebellion and true liberation
• How to develop discernment in a world full of noise

Books & Resources Mentioned:

• The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
• Robert Henderson — bloodline healing work

About Our Guest:

Meredith Miller is an ancestral healing guide and the author of Becoming Whole: How to Prevent Stockholm Syndrome and Transcend Darkness in Your Life and Relationships.

Her work is for generational cycle-breakers who sense what they are carrying did not begin with them — and are ready to do something about it. She helps them metabolize their wounds into medicine and embody the purpose God placed within them for this pivotal moment in human history.

Her mission is bridging the gap between trauma and purpose.

Meredith is the creator of the Inner Integration podcast, for those ready to move beyond coping and into true transformation.

You are not the wound. You are the medicine.

Website: https://www.innerintegration.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@InnerIntegration

Substack: https://meredithmiller.substack.com

The All Within podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. The conversations, stories, and modalities shared by our guests are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition, and should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. 

Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your health or wellness routine. The views expressed are those of the individual guests and do not represent All Within or its founders.

Website: https://www.allwithin.com

Youtube: https://youtube.com/@all-within-1?si=--jCB8VNdL3Ex7Xr

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@all.within?_r=1&_t=ZT-95okFF2JYPG

About Dawn Elle Davis:

Dawn Elle Davis is a channel, healer, oracle, and transformational mentor with nearly 25 years of experience helping people come home to themselves. She is the co-founder of All Within and the creator of Eternal Self Embodiment™ — a methodology that goes beyond the mind to unlock the deepest layers of who you really are. Dawn is devoted to demystifying the world of healing and making it accessible, real, and deeply human.

https://www.instagram.com/dawnelledavis?igsh=ZDJtNjBidHF4cXdj&utm_source=qr

Transcript

– Intro & Meredith's bio

Dawn Elle Davis 0:26

Hello. I'm so excited to be back with you guys today and to share someone absolutely incredible with you, who I'm lucky enough to have met in Boise through my husband. And I'm gonna share her bio because it is written so well, and I was so impressed with how she did this. So we're gonna have Meredith Miller today, and she is an ancestral healing guide and the author of Becoming Whole: How to Prevent Stockholm Syndrome and Transcend Darkness in Your Life and Relationships. Her work is for generational cycle breakers who sense what they are carrying did not begin with them and are ready to do something about it. She helps them metabolize their wounds into medicine and embody the purpose God placed within them for this pivotal moment in human history. Her mission is bridging the gap between trauma and purpose. Meredith is the creator of the Inner Integration podcast for those ready to move beyond coping and into true transformation. Meredith, welcome. I'm

– What is ancestral healing? (And why most healing doesn't reach the root)

Dawn Elle Davis 1:30

so excited to have you here

Meredith Miller 1:32

Thank you so much for inviting me. I'm happy to be here

Dawn Elle Davis 1:35

Yeah. And so I know our listeners might be new to healing, and so when you talk about ancestral healing, and I just love how you say the medicine and how you turn that into purpose, but how would you describe ancestral healing?

Meredith Miller 1:51

So most of what we're carrying isn't really ours, it's inherited. And so everything that was unresolved by the generations before us gets handed on without us realizing it. And then we go through these life experiences, and we think it's all very personal because it feels so personal.

Dawn Elle Davis 2:08

Yes

Meredith Miller 2:09

really the resonance of everything is coming from before. And so the work that I do with people is, like, people have been doing healing for years and years, maybe decades, and they've done all the modalities, and they feel like they've made massive progress, but there's still these repetitive patterns that they can't seem to get out of. They're very aware of the patterns, but they feel like they can't stop them. And so when I help them shift that perspective to see it's not really even yours, and that's why we can't just heal it when it's, like, possessive about my pain, my trauma, my this and that. Really, it's not even ours. And so once we start connecting in the ancestral field, and we find the origin of where these patterns came from, then we can transmute these, which essentially... So I work with the core wound. That's the main work that we do. We clear layers and layers until we can get to the core wound. But this is that thing that God showed me is actually an ancestral agreement. it feels like it's an identity statement. Like I'm unworthy, I'm not enough, I'm too much, whatever that identity statement is. But that's actually not ours. That's what we inherited. And so the reason why it can't be healed alone is because there's others in the lineage who are holding that. And then there's the genesis story of that wound. There's something that happened to an ancestor where that became the imprint that got passed forward. And so everybody is carrying that wound in a different way. And so what God showed me was that we actually have to change the agreement and make a new ancestral agreement to move forward in a new way, and that's that transmutation of the wound into medicine. So the wound itself actually starts to reveal what's deeper underneath all of that. And so then that medicine becomes what we share with others. It becomes what we pass forward generationally,

– Your DNA as a "cloud server" for ancestral memory

Meredith Miller 4:00

but it's also what we transmit horizontally in what's happening around us in this life.

Dawn Elle Davis 4:06

Wow. So when you say the ancestors that came before you, I'm curious, is it your grandmother? Does it go back to, like, great-great? Like, how far back sometimes do these ancestral wounds go?

Meredith Miller 4:22

So I've done different ancestral healings that go way back even, like, 22 generations ago in the Caucasus Mountains, but the core wound itself is

Dawn Elle Davis 4:32

Mm-hmm.

Meredith Miller 4:32

It's usually

Dawn Elle Davis 4:33

Okay

Meredith Miller 4:34

generations, just from what I've seen with myself and my clients. For me, that wound was in my grandmother's generation. It was actually her sister that I inherited it from. lot of clients will find it in that generation of their grandparent, but I've had some clients who found it several before, maybe in the 1700s or the 1800s, and for whatever reason, that was the core wound. But there's still programs that we inherit from long, long ago that are still alive in us. And so, you know, I talk about the ancestral fields. So we can talk about the morphogenic field. That's a big word, but if we look at one layer of that field, that's the ancestral field. And so, you know, when you save your stuff on your computer and your phone to the cloud,

Dawn Elle Davis 5:16

Mm-hmm.

Meredith Miller 5:18

goes to some imaginary place. Well, actually, it's held in a server somewhere, but then it's available in this cloud everywhere. So all of that information is available in the ancestral field, which is like the cloud, and your DNA is like that server. But your DNA is also like a movie projector, so you have access to all of those memories. You don't actually have to know the history. I've worked with some people who are adopted. They have no idea where they came from, but all of that history is alive within them, and so it's just a matter of accessing that memory. And so I guide people through a particular process that helps them access the memory. I don't do it for them.

Dawn Elle Davis 5:52

Okay.

Meredith Miller 5:52

it with them, I witness it with them, but I find it's so powerful when the person pulls this out of themselves, and it's not coming from outside of them. They realize they have access to this. That's so liberating. That's so enlivening for them to realize that all of this is inside them, and they have access to it. And so when we access those memories, that's where we can work with the ancestral field and the memory that's there. So we're not talking to ghosts, we're not talking to entities, and everything that I do is done under the umbrella of God. So it's God that's allowing the space and that's

Dawn Elle Davis 6:25

Okay

Meredith Miller 6:26

space safe from any distortions or interference of other energies.

Dawn Elle Davis 6:32

That is incredible. So do they have to know their specific family tree, or is it kind of intuitive based? 'Cause I, I'm trained in constellation work, so I, I completely understand what you're saying, and I've seen, frankly, miracles when it comes to constellation work, and sometimes it's beyond my, what my logical and linear mind can understand. And I have witnessed

– How Meredith guides people into the ancestral field

Dawn Elle Davis 7:00

people kinda just tapping into an ancestor, but they don't even, sometimes they don't even know the exact name, but they get this feeling. So is it similar in that way?

Meredith Miller 7:08

It is. And so like I said, they can be adopted. They might know absolutely nothing about their history, and it doesn't matter 'cause it's not the conscious mind. It's all within the subconscious, and it's in that ancestral field. So it just surfaces. And how we find that thread is the person talks about whatever struggle they're having now in this life.

Dawn Elle Davis 7:30

Mm-hmm.

Meredith Miller 7:30

to activate that packet of energy and emotion in the body, and then we start to go into those sensations in the body, and then we go into the feelings, and then we get to the emotion. Once we find the emotion, that's the thread, and that's what leads to that memory, and that's where the memory can pop up. And at first the people are often like, "Am, am I making this up?" I'm like, "No, we'll just go with it. Let's not edit it. Let's not judge it. Let's just go with what's coming up for you." a similar process with the inner child integration, where most of the time it's not memories people consciously have, but something just pops into their mind, and we go with that because that's the thing that's coming forward from the subconscious that's resonant with that emotional signature that's disturbing their life nowadays. And it's wild to see those connections. Like I'm sure you've seen in the constellations, the repetition of those loops is wild

Dawn Elle Davis 8:22

unbelievable to me. I see people unconsciously repeating what their mom and dad did. I've seen it within my own life. I took the blueprint from my mom and dad, my biological mom and dad, and their marriage and what happened, and for a while I found myself repeating that. My dad, struggled with alcoholism, and he had some infidelity issues with my mom, and my mom had her way of dealing with things. And of course, as I got older, unconsciously, not even realizing it, I attracted similar things into my life in partnership, not understanding that I had taken on some of my mom's energy. And to what you're saying, this, her feelings about things, her beliefs around things that went through her generations with her mom and all this stuff. And when I decided to start my healing path within myself, 'cause I'd already been a healer for a while, I had to ask myself this very difficult question: Why do I keep attracting in this type of partner? I feel like I love myself. I feel like I'm worthy, so what is it inside of me? And I didn't wanna, like, play the, the blame game and, feel sorry for myself, It was, it was such a deep blind spot for me, Meredith. Like, I could not see it. And when I asked myself

– Dawn's own story: repeating her parents' patterns without realizing it

Dawn Elle Davis 10:00

that, it took me on this path, and I just happened to be in a trauma-informed program at that time, and so I started to uncover and unravel and see. And since then I've healed that, but it was really difficult because there was, truth be told, and I think this is important for our listeners to hear, especially when you're dealing with ancestral wounds, is that you may find yourself to be an intelligent person, let's just say, and say, "But why do I feel so stupid and keep doing this?" And for me, it was understanding that I was literally unconsciously repeating my mom and dad's stuff, and stuff that'd been in their fields for a while. And so it's so real, and I've seen it with clients, and I'd, I would love to hear some stories. But I wanna ask you about this thing, 'cause I think it's so fascinating when you say the morphogenetic field and how people can plug into that. 'Cause I think some people may be listening to this and be like, "Well, I wouldn't know how to do that. Like, I, I don't think I'm gonna recei-" 'Cause you're not, they're not necessarily trying. But, like, how do you get people into that space so they start to receive that kind of information?

Meredith Miller 11:10

So we, first we start talking about what's going on in their life and what the struggle is, and that's what activates that packet of emotion and energy in their body. And then I have them close their eyes, and I start guiding them into their body so that their awareness starts settling down and down and down into their body. And then I ask them to track where is that in your body? Where does that live, what you were just talking about? And they'll be like, "Oh, it's, it's, it's in my heart," or, "It's in my stomach," or, like, they'll start to describe. "Okay, what does that feel like?" "Well, it feels like tension. It feels like heaviness. It feels like anxiety." "Okay, good. What does that feel like underneath? What's the emotion?" So this takes time to get th- through

Dawn Elle Davis 11:47

Yes

Meredith Miller 11:48

'cause most people are so disconnected from their bodies because trauma does that. It's too painful to be in the body, so we check out, right? We dissociate, or we distract ourselves, or, we go to the mind, the intellectualization, which is a fantastic tool, but it's also, you know, a coping mechanism and, and a distraction from actually feeling the body. And for so many people, it was never safe to be in the body. So sometimes I have to already start doing some downloads from God to help people know it's safe to be in your body, it's safe to feel your feelings, it's safe to be a woman in this female body. You know, these kinds of things I walk people through until they can start to feel and name the emotions-- the feelings and then the emotions. Once we have that emotion, then I just ask them, "Okay, so now we're just gonna ask the field to reveal where was the genesis story of that? When was the very first time that was imprinted in your lineage? just tell me what you see or feel without judging it, without thinking about it. So if you're coming up in your head, come back in your body." And so I guide

Dawn Elle Davis 12:49

Right

Meredith Miller 12:50

and then people will go, "Well, I, I don't know if I'm making this up, but I'm seeing this person," blah, blah, blah. I'm like, "Good. Let's go with it." so they start to see sort of like this picture of what was happening in that lifetime. You know, the ancestor is alone in this field, and this war is going on or whatever is happening, and they start describing the place and the ancestor. "Okay, what do you see on their face? You know, what are they feeling?" And then they describe that and what just happened that led to that moment, and how did they cope with that afterward, and what did they decide about themselves afterward? And so we start going through this whole process. And by that point, they're really into it. Like, they're, they're no longer questioning. Now they're, like, seeing this experience, and they're realizing, "Whoa, all the things that happened to this ancestor, it looked totally different in their life, but I'm in the same loop. everything that happened, I'm in the same loop."

Dawn Elle Davis 13:43

That's mind-blowing. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So they start to s- have that recognition,

Meredith Miller 13:49

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis 13:50

then you said that you help them kind of rescript it or change the narrative so it actually can empower them?

Meredith Miller 13:58

Yeah, so we find whatever the ancestor

– What happens when a parent heals — and their children shift overnight

Meredith Miller 14:00

decided about themselves, about life. So sometimes we can't get fully to that core wound for a little while. Sometimes it takes multiple sessions, but

Dawn Elle Davis 14:08

Oh, yeah

Meredith Miller 14:08

with like, the worldviews that they inherited. Like, you know, people are unsafe, or the world is hostile, or whatever the worldviews are. It's not safe to be close to family. Like whatever the views are, so then we'll reprogram that. so as the person reprograms that within themselves, they actually watch that scene change. The ancestor changes. You know, maybe they're like ragged and disheveled, and they look old and wrinkled and beaten down, and they see the ancestor like rejuvenating. They see the scenery changing. They see like people coming in. It-- All kinds of things start to change because it's happening within the person, and also it's starting to spread to the lineage. And then those new codes get available to anybody past, present, and future in that lineage whose soul wants to tap in. So it's not forced upon anyone. We all have free will And anyone whose soul wants to tap into that can do that. And it's wild to see then what starts to shift in their family. So I work with a lot of parents, and sometimes they have real young kids, like under eight, and what they tell me is their ki-- as soon as they change, it was instant. It was like they had on channel twenty-one on the TV, the kid knew what was on at noon, what was on at eight, what was on on the weekend. I mean, they knew the program. But then the parent suddenly changed, and now we're watching channel forty-four, and the kid's now just full on forty-four. Like, you didn't have to explain anything. They're just on a new broadcasting signal because that was the ambiance, that they inherited, that they were living in, and so they just changed. The older kids, when they... You know, I work with people in their sixties a lot. They have kids that are in their twenties and thirties. They have more layers of trauma. They have more layers of defense mechanisms, which is really what blocks us from shifting, is our own self-protection. that serves a purpose, right? But then it also becomes the obstacle, so it takes a little longer. But what they tell me is, like, within two to three weeks, all of a sudden their kids start changing. A lot of them had estranged relationships with their kids, and they were destroyed by that sense of pain and loss and guilt and shame of having passed on the trauma before they realized what happened. You know, and they wanna fix the kids, but I'm always reorienting them to, like, "Let's work

Dawn Elle Davis 16:19

Yeah

Meredith Miller 16:20

and then let's watch this pass forward." And at first, maybe they don't believe that that's possible, and then they watch it happen. They have kids come back into their lives after cutting them

– Meredith's mom changed without being told: the story that will give you chills

Meredith Miller 16:30

out of their lives for a while, or they have kids that were stuck in a certain relational pattern that they couldn't commit because of all the things that happened, and all of a sudden they get engaged, and they're gonna get married and, like, things just start shifting miraculously. And it can move backwards too, which I saw with my own mom. I don't have children, but it's-- I saw with my mom, once I transmuted that core wound, something I never thought was possible, about two months, was an entirely different person, she had no idea what I did. But after a while, and I asked her, we had a very minimal relationship at the time, and in fact, I had cut her out of my life for a long period of time.

Dawn Elle Davis 17:07

Okay

Meredith Miller 17:08

We had, we had just, like, a minimal relationship at that time, and I said to her, "You seem like a very different person. Did you notice something shift, like, you know, a month ago?" And she goes, "You know, come to think of it, just felt this sense of hope and freedom for the first time in my life."

Dawn Elle Davis 17:25

Oh,

Meredith Miller 17:25

I was like,

Dawn Elle Davis 17:26

that's beautiful

Meredith Miller 17:27

Because we're no longer carrying that same wound anymore. She had the same wound that I was carrying

Dawn Elle Davis 17:34

So you were li- by liberating yourself, you liberated her from the wound that probably was from before her, right? She was carrying it maybe from somebody in her, like her grandmother or something like that. Is that how it kind of works?

Meredith Miller 17:49

sister.

Dawn Elle Davis 17:51

Okay

Meredith Miller 17:51

it was her mom's sister who took her own life as a teenager. But so I didn't liberate my mom. I offered the codes of liberation to the lineage, and her soul chose to tune in

Dawn Elle Davis 18:04

Oh gosh, that gives me goosebumps.

Meredith Miller 18:06

It's wild

Dawn Elle Davis 18:08

It's, a- and it's really profound because you said something that I think is so important for people to hear, is that you're encouraging your clients when they start to say, "Well, I'm estranged from my kid and I want my kid to change," or, "I want this to..." no, come back to yourself and let's work on you, and then you can see how that might have a effect on everybody else in the family system." And I think that's imperative because I really see that a lot of people go into focusing on outside of themselves. If I could just change this person, if I can just make this circumstance be different, then maybe I'd be different. And I think that's really so incredible that you bring them back to themselves

Meredith Miller 19:00

Because fixing is a coping mechanism,

Dawn Elle Davis 19:03

Yes

Meredith Miller 19:03

trauma adaptation. We wanna fix someone else so we can feel safe,

Dawn Elle Davis 19:08

Yes.

Meredith Miller 19:09

And so I helped him recognize, like, that was actually an intelligent response, like, way back in when you were a kid and you learned to, like, fix things so that you could feel safe in an unsafe environment. It served a purpose, but it's no longer serving a purpose, so let's honor the purpose that that adaptation served, and also now we can make a new choice

Dawn Elle Davis 19:28

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I, I found when I made changes when I went on my healing journey and I decided, as I was saying earlier, to get out of that kind of blueprint of relationship that my mom had handed down to me, I left an eight-and-a-half-year relationship, and it was the craziest thing, Meredith, because after that it was as if something inside of me was a permission slip. My sister left her toxic situation

– "Fixing others" as a trauma adaptation — and how to break it

Dawn Elle Davis 20:00

within a year. My stepdad decided to make some changes in his relationship to my mom. I mean, it was crazy, and there was no words spoken. It wasn't as if I was like, "Hey, guys, I'm on this healing journey and I'm doing all this work behind the scenes." I never even talked to them about it. And I was watching them before being very stuck, just like I was at one point, and I thought, "This is a miracle. What changed?" But I realized when I changed, to your... The way you said, to your point, like you said, the word codes, there must have been something, some code that I put into the field that they just kinda like gobbled up, and the next thing I knew, things were changed. But it was unexplainable to me. I was like, "Wow, this is so cool

Meredith Miller 20:52

Yeah. That's the thing too, is that becomes the new transmission. So when we're still in the trauma patterns, and we're in those loops, and we get triggered, and we trigger one another, trigger happens in a nervous system, but the transmission happens in a social system. And so that's how we keep perpetuating that. But when we change the internal, when we're no longer triggered, we're in a- coming from a different space, our transmission changes, and that actually has an effect on people around us in, like you said, in ways that you can't really explain or name or put your finger on, but it is real, and it is unmistakable

Dawn Elle Davis 21:31

Oh my gosh. Now how, okay, how, what led you into this? How did you decide to... 'Cause I, I know I, I looked at all your certifications on your website. You have so many incredible certifications over the years. What led you into this work?

21:49

can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to be on our website at all. within.com, we've created a community where you can feel truly met in your journey. Real people,

– Growing up in Youngstown, Ohio (Crime Town USA) & kahuna healers

22:00

real conversations, dedicated spaces for seekers, healers, and everyone in between. No matter where you're at on your path, there's a place for you here. Come find your people@allwithin.com.

Meredith Miller 22:16

So I grew up in a place called Youngstown, Ohio. It was the murder capital of the world in the late '90s. It was called Crime Town USA per capita, right?

Dawn Elle Davis 22:24

Okay

Meredith Miller 22:25

USA, I mean, it was just a wild place, and there's something about the land there and the energy in the land, so that in the early 2000s, I talked to a professor at the university there, and he said that a group of kahuna healers had contacted him at the university asking if they could come and do a little ceremony because they had meditated on, what were, like, the worst energetic spots on the entire planet. And they thought, "Well, if we go there and, like, do a ceremony, it would be like acupuncture points in the planet. Maybe we can,

Dawn Elle Davis 22:52

Yeah

Meredith Miller 22:53

lift the vibration." So he agreed. The kahuna healers came to Youngstown, Ohio. It was in the top ten list on the whole planet.

Dawn Elle Davis 22:59

What are, who are Kahuna? I've never even heard of this. Who are Ca-

Meredith Miller 23:02

the Hawaiian shamans

Dawn Elle Davis 23:04

Oh, okay. I figured the word. I was like, that must be Hawaiian, but okay, that's... So they decide they were looking for those places.

Meredith Miller 23:11

places on the planet,

Dawn Elle Davis 23:12

Okay.

Meredith Miller 23:13

in the top 10 worst energetic places. You can feel, like, the black hole effect there. Like, there's something wild. But anyhow, they came in the early 2000s, and things did get a little better there after that. But I grew up in this place of, I would say extreme darkness,

– Getting sick after college, hearing "it's in your head," and walking out on the doctors

Meredith Miller 23:30

and I was born into a family system where the legacy of trauma was passed on. It was mostly emotional and sexual abuse. And so I grew up in all of this darkness, and I had this burning desire. Like, I was just dying to get out of there from as long as I could remember. And it turned out that was also connected to my grandmother's sister, who took her own life because she wanted to leave Youngstown. She wanted to go back to Italy. She was the only kid born in Italy, but she was very, very young. None of that made sense to me. I figured out once the whole healing happened what had really happened, but I was carrying that inheritance from her, just dying to get out of there. And so as I went off to Philadelphia, I graduated from college, and I got extremely ill. so I started going to the doctors for months after my graduation, and every time they were telling me, "Oh, it's, like, this thing, it's another thing, it's another thing." And like, "No, like, this is not it. not... Something is not working." But I was so unawake at the time, just so shut down and dull and asleep and dysfunctional because of what I had grown up for, completely unprepared for adulthood. And finally, they said, "You know what? It's probably just in your mind. Maybe you should go to a psychologist." And I'm like, "No, something is really wrong with my body."

Dawn Elle Davis 24:42

Yes

Meredith Miller 24:43

agreed to test my blood. This was before 2000, way before, like, magnetic resonance and all of that. So they test my blood, and they're like, "Yeah, your white blood cell counts are extremely high. be lymphoma, could be leukemia. Now we wanna start cutting you open." And I was just like, "Whoa." And, like, they're

Dawn Elle Davis 24:59

Oh, that's terrifying

– The near-death experience, the mystic in Peru, and "Who am I?"

Meredith Miller 25:01

It was like all of a sudden it was like their voices became like the teacher in Charlie Brown, and all I could hear was like wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. And then I hear my inner voice for, like, the first time in my life, and it says, "Run." And I'm like I just grabbed my handbag and walked to the elevator, and they're following me, and they're talking to me, and I don't even hear what they're saying, and I just left. And so I had grown up in, in the Catholic religion, and in one of my early 20s, I found out about all the pedophilia, and because I had been sexually abused as a child, I was so against it, and I became an atheist. I went from one extreme to the other. I am an atheist. I'm walking down the street back to work, and I'm just like, "Show me what to do. I, I don't know what to do, but I know that's not it." And I got back to the lobby of the building, and I was working for a Spanish dot-com company, and the v- vice president's there at the elevator, and he's like, "So your new boss is arriving from Spain today, and she's gonna talk about this weird diet that her parents put her on, and supposedly it cured her cancer." And I was like... Like, literally the answer came like that. And so I did the macrobiotic diet that she taught me and started clearing out my body. Then I had this near-death experience in 2003 in a car accident. Nothing actually happened to me. I don't remember what happened in the accident. I just saw this flash, and the next thing you know, I was standing next to my car, which was, like, totaled. And it was Halloween weekend, and I'd forgotten that I was wearing a costume and a wig, and so I'm looking down at myself going, "Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?" And that was the haunting question for this dark night of the soul that I walked through the next few years. And then two and a half years later, I had a spontaneous out-of-body experience and, like, the total recall of what happened in the accident. Because in that experience, I realized I had access to anything I wanted to know. And so I said, "What happened in the accident?" And I relived this whole near-death experience, and I asked, "Oh, so that question, who am I?" And I was starting to realize this, that was coming in, and then I got an invitation to go to Peru and to study with a mystic there. And out I spoke Spanish,

– Moving to Mexico City, a covert abusive relationship, and going back to ayahuasca

Meredith Miller 27:00

so he fired his interpreter, and he told me just to stay, and I could translate for him when groups came. So basically, I had an apprenticeship with this mystic for a year. Then I came back. So I had gone to Chinese medical school. I forgot that part, and I studied, theta healing before I went to Peru. But when I came back, then I ended up at the Acupressure Institute in Berkeley. So I was doing more, like, hands-on body work and energy work. But I was moving around so much, I realized I needed to go online and do coaching online. That way I could move around wherever I felt like God was calling me to go. And so I started doing the online coaching in 2012, got into another... I had, you know, I had an abusive marriage, by the way, when I was really ill in those early 2000s, and I got out of that quickly within like three years. It was emotionally abusive. But then in 2014, I got into another emotionally abusive relationship, but much more covert, and I didn't recognize what was happening. By the time I figured it out, I was wrecked, and I just realized I needed to figure out what was the hook in me.

Dawn Elle Davis 27:55

Hmm.

Meredith Miller 27:55

I hadn't figured out my family system yet, you know? But I was like, "There has to be a hook in me that's pulling that in, that's choosing that," not to blame myself, but to recognize, like, I-- there's gotta be something going on. So I decided I needed to go to Peru and drink ayahuasca and figured it out, and my brother decided to quit his job and come with me 'cause he was

Dawn Elle Davis 28:13

Oh, wow

Meredith Miller 28:13

in his life. spent two months in Peru, and by the end of that two months, he decided to move to Chile to speak, to teach, English. I decided to stay in Peru and just work in the ayahuasca retreat centers. But what happened was, as I was going into this inner work, I was in this whole community system of tons of these characters, but like the spiritual type. And so I had to live it another level deeper, another level to fully understand it. By the time I came back to America, I was so wrecked, like the bottom of the bottom PTSD crash. But then I realized I actually need to start, like, educating people on what is this narcissistic abuse. And in 2015, no one was talking about it. There was like four people on YouTube talking about it. So I was like, "All right. I'll start a YouTube channel." And so I started a YouTube channel, started teaching about narcissistic abuse. It caught on quickly, and then I started doing bilingual videos in English and Spanish. That community built up quickly too. And then 2020 hit, and I saw the same exact patterns happening in relationships and family systems happening on the collective scale, and I was like, "Well, I guess we need to talk about this now." very quickly, I found that people didn't wanna talk about that, and the very same dynamics that happen in a family system when people wanna talk about the abuse happen in society when people want to talk about the abuse that's happening. And so

– 2020, the morphic rupture, and a fear so total it erased her emotional palette

Meredith Miller 29:30

I ended up having to move. I was living in Mexico City. I felt like I was intuitively guided to move to Texas and put down roots. I just kept hearing, storm is coming. You gotta put down roots." So I get this place in Texas, and, I got some little bit of land there, and, and as soon as I got settled All of this stuff came up to the surface, and I realized there was-- You know, I thought I was living my best life before twenty twenty. Yeah, it was great, right? But it was all suppressed. so the collective trauma was bringing up to the surface everything that I hadn't dealt with. And so it was this heavy, pervasive fear, like to the point where my emotional palette disappeared, and all there was was fear. Everything was tainted in the gray of fear. It was the only thing I could feel, and it was just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And I saw my dog starting to get sick from it, and I knew she wasn't getting physically sick. She was getting sick from my fear and from the spiritual warfare that was happening because when you're in that state

– Mushrooms, a dying dog, seven vultures, and the funeral of the old world

Meredith Miller 30:30

of fear, you attract like really dark entities that feed off that and then stoke that. And, you know, if I had had kids, like that would've been horrible because the kids would've been carrying that. But seeing that fear of my dog was like, I need to do something. But all of my teachers and mentors that I could have gone to in the past, amazing people, none of them could see what was happening in the world. So I lost everybody. I had no support. I didn't know who I could go to, and that fear was way too big for me to handle myself. So fortunately, someone came along with some mushrooms, and I was like, "Well, I know it's a really bad idea to do that when you're in a really dark emotional state, but I don't have any other options, and I need a teacher." So I guess it's the plant teacher that's showing up. And so I left my dog outside with some water, and I went in, and I just went deep into that fear, and I was tossing and turning in that fear and fighting it and just seeing all the visions of like cattle moving to the slaughterhouse and me screaming, "Stop, stop!" And no one could hear me, and just all of these visions of things and the helplessness and the fear until I finally realized, just, just let go. Just let that fear fully consume you. It's gonna be okay. And so I went all the way into the epicenter of it, and suddenly, like this calmness came, and I realized like it wasn't gonna kill me, that I could just feel it. And I really felt it, and I was curled in fetal position, and all of a sudden, I saw my Mexican sister's face appear, she said, "I hate that you're so alone." And I bursted into tears, and all of a sudden, the color palette of emotion came back, and I could feel all of the emotions again, and I could see the color, and I didn't realize I was living in, like, a black and white TV for months.

Dawn Elle Davis 32:12

Oh, wow.

Meredith Miller 32:13

the Technicolor came back. so I just had all these, like, unbelievable experiences of emotion again. I went back outside, and my dog was sitting across the grass in sphinx position, and she just looks at me with squinted eyes, and she lived with me at the Ayahuasca Retreat Center, so she knew all about the medicine. And she didn't come to me. She was just looking at me, and I knew, like, she just downloaded everything that I had been through. And I saw her, like, she was all healthy again, and it was like I telepathically heard her tell me, "It's about time, bitch." Like, "We were done with that fear." Like, "Come on."

Dawn Elle Davis 32:47

Sure. Okay. I've been waiting for you to get your shit together. Thank God. Thank God. Whoa

Meredith Miller 32:53

like, I am so sorry." I, you know. And so finally cleared that, and then, and then she looked up at the sky, and so I came out from under the roof of, like, the patio, and there was the sun, like the hot Texas summer sun, and there was like seven vultures flying around the sun, and I knew this is the funeral of the old world, the pre twenty twenty world. Like, mourn it. is it.

Dawn Elle Davis 33:15

Oh

Meredith Miller 33:16

Grieve it because where you're going next, it's because of this. It's not like this is that horrible thing. It's all happening for a reason at a collective level, at an individual level, at an everything level. But accept that that world is gone. And it was like, okay, like the f- the fear was still there, obviously, because, like, what is happening now in this world, but I was able to manage it, and I realized now I need to study trauma healing. So I just studied from all the trauma people I could study over the next couple years, and I realized they know a lot about the trauma and the science of trauma, but very little about actually healing it. And all this time that I'm studying with these world-renowned trauma healers, no one's talking about what's happening in the world. And I'm like, "This is the biggest collective trauma that's happened in our lifetimes, in several lifetimes since our grandparents' generation," and no one is talking about... Like how-- This elephant is massive in the room. my mind was blown, and then I realized, okay, now I need to go deeper the holistic healing and spirituality again because I need to figure out how to heal this in myself so that I can help others at the next level because I knew that something was happening. And in retrospect now looking back, I call what happened in twenty twenty the morphic rupture. And so it was like, know, in a property you build containing walls or retaining walls, I guess they call them, where you stop the land from, you know,

Dawn Elle Davis 34:43

Falling or, yeah. Mm-hmm

Meredith Miller 34:45

the way I saw it was like there was these containing walls, like compartmentalization that we had until twenty twenty where all of that unresolved stuff was just... You know? It was held aside, and you could go on. You could pretend like things were normal even though things weren't really normal before twenty twenty. If we're really honest, we were just normalizing them. But you could keep that stuff away, and you know, you had different coping mechanisms you can deal with it. But twenty twenty, those containing walls crashed down, and it was like all of that ancestral inheritance came through, it was coming through all of us not as like a punishment but as a sort of like the time is now. Like it's time to deal with this now because whatever is shifting in the world, this higher consciousness that's trying to come through it, can't come through until we process and metabolize this.

Dawn Elle Davis 35:30

Yes.

Meredith Miller 35:31

So it was

Dawn Elle Davis 35:31

Yes

Meredith Miller 35:32

a gift. Like what happened in 2020 wasn't the wounding, it just revealed the wound that was already there. And so that really became like this catalyst for everything that I dug into myself for, you know, going a lot deeper so that I could then be able to help people go a lot deeper in themselves and realize where all this stuff is inside of us, and how as we transmute that, we liberate that medicine, and what is that purpose, that calling that God put in us to be

– 2020 revealed the wound — it didn't create it

Meredith Miller 36:00

here and alive in this moment, in this pivotal moment of human history

Dawn Elle Davis 36:04

Mm-hmm. Yes

Meredith Miller 36:07

and what you went through was actually like your immersion training for what's happening in the world now. And so I love working with people who are, I would call the avant-garde of the species. Like they're awakening to this ahead of the rest because they're being called to transmute this and step into a leadership position, whether that's in their family system or in their community or in the world, help lead people through what's happening. that inner process of the old self dissolving and dying, and then moving into that void, which is extremely uncomfortable because you don't know what's coming at it, and you can't rush it because everything you try to force and pressure and that old urgency, that's just the old operating system, the old self. You just have to allow it to start emerging, and then something truly new comes. That inner transformational process is exactly the thing that's happening in the world now. And as we're watching that crack happened in 2020, but now we're watching the crumbling of the systems and the structures and the institutions in the world, that's scary and destabilizing. But the same is happening within us because all of that reality was held up by the belief systems that we inherited. And so as that's crumbling, all of this is crumbling inside of us simultaneously because it has to. This is the evolutionary process that's happening at this time

Dawn Elle Davis 37:28

Yep. Oh gosh, Meredith, There's so much powerful things that you said within all that you were just sharing. Yes, I always feel like the macro, what's happening in the macro, is also happening in the micro with inside of us. And 2020 was shadow work on steroids, I feel like, for those of us who were, I'm just gonna say aware. I, I feel like Somebody threw a bucket of cold ice water in my face in 2020, and the exact way you said it, what I thought the world was, I found out that year that that was an illusion, It was, like, such a distortion of what I thought, and It was a little heartbreaking for me, but I couldn't stay with it for too long because it was forcing me to see the distortions that were in myself and all the illusions that I had built my life upon, and it was really scary. And when you were talking about how you had to face the fear, and you were afraid to really go into it, I had that in 2020, where I just... I felt maybe the fear of the collective, and I felt the fear of who I thought I was, that identity going bye-bye. Like, I was like, I can't continue with this identity anymore. I can't continue with the relationship I was in." I had two daughters, and I knew I was gonna have to leave the relationship. I knew in order to persevere and be who I wanted to be in this life, it was gonna require me to face everything. And so I think 2020 was such an awakening for so many of us. But that fear, I wanna speak to that because I feel like so many of our listeners can relate to that. It's fear of whatever's showing up in their lives, fear of leaving a bad relationship, or fear of staying in the same job, or whatever it can be. It can feel debilitating, and it can destabilize you from making choices that can move you forward in your life. And your medicine that you provided, the medicine that you provided by saying,

– Dawn's psilocybin ceremony and going back to before she was born

Dawn Elle Davis 40:00

"You have to go into the fear," that's what I realized, too. I was like, "I can't, I can't circle around this anymore. I need to walk," and yeah, I think you said it, the epicenter. "I, I need to go into the epicenter." And I was so afraid. The way I used to see it was like a tsunami was coming, and the tsunami was gonna take me out. I was like, "I don't know if I have the capacity built within myself to withstand this tsunami." But then I thought, "But what are my other options? Am I just gonna keep skirting around the issues?" And I think a lot of us, I, I know with my clients, I've seen it, and I'm sure you see it too, where they wanna deal with, like, the things, you know, there's the bullseye and then there's the outer rings. They're like, "Oh, yeah, let's, let's focus on that thing, you know? I'll talk about that. I'll talk about that piece." But then when you get right to the epicenter, the bullseye, and you're like, "That's, that's the treasure. That's the place we need to go," they're like, "Oh, n- oh, no. I don't wanna talk about that, 'cause that might mean I need to make different decisions in my life, and leave something behind, or end something, or whatever." Anyways, when I went into the fear just like you, and what was one of the biggest things that helped me was psilocybin. I did, like, a hero's journey of psilocybin with a shaman, and I sat in that fricking fear for probably six and a half hours until It just wasn't the same. It just, I had to sit with it. And for me, it was ta- it was so fascinating 'cause it kept taking me back to, like, I thought, always thought, my logical linear mind was like, "Well, it was when my dad left when I was three," you know, when he left our family. And then I would go back to that, and then I would go back to the womb, and then I would go back to before I was born, and I was in the liminal space where I was having separation from God. And I went over that probably, like, 25 times when I was on the medicine, only to realize and re-pattern I'm never separate from, from God, right? And so, and then I was like, "So if I'm never separate from God, then I always have an ally to face my fear, and this fear is more of my human self and my programming and my conditioning than who I really am." So I think you and I being sisters in that, 'cause not everybody's willing to do that work, right? And I think

– What to do when structures are crumbling (inside and out)

Dawn Elle Davis 42:30

it's so helpful to have guides and allies and support to go into facing fears that can be crippling and all that kind of stuff. But it's such an invitation because it is the work that will transform your life. And I think to your point now with where we're at in 2026, my gosh, like there was, you know, kind of the wake-up call, and now every- yeah, everything's crumbling down. And I feel it in myself, too, and it's not as disturbing as 2020 was for me 'cause I'm like, "Hey, I'm, I trust, I'm here," but I also notice I'm, I don't wanna live anymore with structures or ways of being that don't support. So when you are going through this yourself, if you notice a structure coming down, what do you do to take care of yourself?

Meredith Miller 43:27

So you named it too, is that connection with God. And so my work is also about reconnecting people because whatever happens in our life, and it's usually what happens with our parents, that somehow that's connected with our relationship with God, where people feel like they have to suffer to be close to God, or they feel abandoned by God, or forgotten by God, or they don't matter, or whatever that, you know, childhood trauma was, it's often reflected in that. And same with the ancestral work. But so what I realized was like in that fear state was because I was lacking that connection too.

– Terror as a core wound — and how it became grace (and a name)

Meredith Miller 44:00

was trying to figure it out all on myself, you know, the self-reliance. And that that was actually blocking me from receiving God's help. And so as those illusions were revealing themselves to me, it was like everything that-- where I had looked for security outside myself, all of that was collapsing And then God walked me through this wilderness season where it was like all of everything left, even income, everything, social validation, everything I had externalized my security to was taken away. And not as a punishment, but as an exposure to reveal where I was actually trying to look for security, and realizing that the only real security is within, and it's through my connection to God. that fear, for me, the fear, I described it as a fear so big I named it terror. That was my core wound. So there's a phrase, an identity phrase, but then there's also an emotional, energetic imprint at the core of that. That's what gets imprinted at the point of conception, but it's the thing that's ancestral. So for me, it was that terror. But as the terror transmuted into the medicine, it became grace. And grace, because God knows how literal my brain is, Grace was the name of my grandmother's sister, the one who was carrying th-- I mean, it was wild, all of the connections. And so as this grace was coming back, and it was grace that began to move through my mom and my relationship, and everything started changing, and grace is now the medicine that I realize I'm here to share with people through this time. But it's really, we have to go back to that connection with our Creator, because without that, there's no real healing. There's no... Like, when I look at people who don't have that relationship, their healing is always gonna keep running into these sabotage points, and it's not gonna be sustainable. Like, they'll have moments of healing, but then they're crashing again because that restoration has to be there because we can't do it alone. We need the guides, as you said, like the, the people who can help us through. Some of us, like you and I, we had to figure it out on our own because we're here to lead others.

Dawn Elle Davis 46:03

Yes

Meredith Miller 46:04

But what happened is, you know, we both turned back to God, and I think that was one of the most amazing things that happened since twenty twenty is it completely reorganized my inner operating system and my connection to God, and I realized all of those distortions in me, like Dante Alighieri wrote about in The Divine Comedy, he called them disordered desires, like pride, lust, envy, wrath, you know, they're called the seven deadly sins, but Dante called them disordered desires, and he said, really, they're all seeking for love, we're just seeking for love in these distorted ways. And so when we get our desires right and God becomes the center of our desire, everything else starts to line up, and we start moving away from those old distortions. And so really, I think that's so important, and I think that what's happening in the world is it's kind of like this collective wake-up call because we've moved so far away from that. And even, you know, I think in a lot of religions, we think we're close to God, but a lot of times we're just holding dogma, and it's more about the religion than the relationship And it's that relationship that I just realized is so important in my life. And that's what I also help my clients reconnect with because they've also been on some kind of journey like me where they kind of wandered away or maybe they came out of a cult system and now they don't really know how to connect to God free from the cult and the dogma, but also want to be connected to God and, and, you know, all of these distortions that are there that are blocking that connection. But that's the true freedom. freedom isn't fighting against the government and fighting against the things that are happening. That's-- rebellion is the counterfeit liberation. The true liberation is that inner integration, the inner coherence, that realignment and right relationship with God. I have faith that all the challenges that are coming, and I know big challenges are coming, but like you, I'm not nearly as scared as I was in twenty twenty because of all the integration that's happened. And I just trust that this is all serving a bigger purpose and I have faith through this process that no matter what happens

– From atheist to faithful: what God actually did to get Meredith's attention

Meredith Miller 48:00

everything is gonna be okay because this is what's meant to happen

Dawn Elle Davis 48:04

Yes. And you know that just like if a shadow comes up for somebody, I mean, you're dealing, you're helping people deal with the core wounding, these fears, all the things that they haven't been able to pinpoint and shift in their lives. That challenge is the impetus to get us to change. So all the fearful things that are happening in the collective are the impetus for things to shift. And unfortunately, change isn't always pretty, right? There's a little bit of chaos that precedes it, but it's just part of it. And I'm really curious, Meredith, because I think this is such an important question as to how you went from being an atheist now to having such a f- I could, I could feel your relationship with the divine creator, how you wanna, however you wanna call it, but how you're so faithful to that relationship. Was it through your healing journey? How did that shift so dramatically?

Meredith Miller 49:04

So it was really the process that God took me through. Part of it was the inner healing, but then a whole other thing was like the deliverance of all of that stuff that was even in my bloodline too that I inherited. Like we inherit a lot of spiritual distortions. Like if our ancestors made contracts or what's called covenants with entities that they thought were to protect the family, to protect the harvest, to protect the flock of sheep or whatever, but actually they didn't realize, like they made a contract with some kind of, you know, negative element, negative entity. That gets handed down, and things happen to you like, you know, just when you're at that ceiling or that doorway, and then there's a sabotage. What is-- It's something in your bloodline. And so as I cleared all of that out of the way, and then I just kept strengthening my covenants with God and with God only, and you know, I had gone through like the New Age thing for a while and also realized there's a lot of distortions in there. I had mentors who thought that they were channeling ascended masters like Guan Yin, but really it was just a demon in tattered purple robes. And you know, there was all of this distortion and abuse that was happening through them, and maybe they didn't intend to, but it was coming through them like a portal. so God really in the recent years has just been taking me through this like spiritual reordering and cleansing of myself, of my bloodline. Robert Henderson's work on, on cleansing the bloodline. That was like a huge change that I also saw reflected in my family. But, you know, getting, getting back into connection with God, it's like He will take you through these brutal periods of time not to punish you, but so you stop controlling, you stop leaning on self-reliance, and you just turn back to God. And, and you can fight it, and you can extend that and delay that as long as you want. It's up to

Dawn Elle Davis 50:48

It just, it just creates more suffering

Meredith Miller 50:51

Totally does. Totally does

Dawn Elle Davis 50:54

Yeah. my favorite phrase when I'm in those periods of time is, "I surrender." I just, I'm like, "Uncle," you know? "I'm done." Because I know now if I keep trying to control and use the same coping mechanisms or devices to try and control my external reality, I just make it worse for myself. So I just, like, get really quiet. I sit down and I go, "Okay, God, I know you're trying to move something in my life. I know you're trying to shift me. I'm just gonna get real silent and let you do your work." 'Cause I've had the same experience, Meredith. I think a lot of healers get initiated by having to lose so much of the external validation, the income, the, the success, or whatever it is. It doesn't mean it won't come back, but it is a real thing that happens w- for most people, not even just healers. But I feel like healers, it's almost like they have to understand that, because if they're gonna empathize and work with other people to help them through those times, they experience it themselves. But yeah, it is something that can be so beautiful on the other side, but during it, it can be a crisis of faith if somebody continues to try and figure it out on their own.

Meredith Miller 52:09

Brutal because that foundation is cracking. That foundation can't bear the load of whatever, you know, our divine inheritance is, our destiny, everything that God wants to pour into us, it can't sit on a cracking foundation. so that foundation gets destroyed, and then we rebuild that foundation in God, in right relationship where it's not me, it's God is the source of everything. Income isn't the source of my security. God is the source of my security, and God is the source of my income and my clients and my intelligence and my creativity. None of that's just me, right? I'm the steward of those things that God has given to me. And so walking through that stewardship versus ownership and possession, which was the old operating system, even looking at my business now in this new way and building on that solid foundation on a rock

– Ancestral strength: what we also inherited from those who survived

Meredith Miller 53:00

because the storms are coming, and it's not something our ancestors have never been through. We actually have the memory within us of our ancestors who survived, the resilience of wars and collective illness and economic crashes and famines and all the things that are converging now at the same time at this point in human history. All of those resources are within us. But we have to rebuild that house on a solid foundation if we wanna be able to survive and thrive through what's coming, through the storms that are here to help us evolve.

Dawn Elle Davis 53:38

Yes. And when you were saying, how the ancestors survived all these things, I also love to think about how, yes, we inherited some negative things from our ancestors, some limiting ways of seeing life and being, and to your point, we've inherited their perseverance, their strength, their fortitude. And so I think when we tap into our ancestors, there's so much to gain. And I love how you say that once you deal with this wound, and it sounds like you rewrite it or you shift it on an energetic level, and I think you said you use theta healing for that

Meredith Miller 54:20

the Theta healing wasn't working for the core wound. The Theta

Dawn Elle Davis 54:23

Okay

Meredith Miller 54:23

worked for all the other subconscious programs,

Dawn Elle Davis 54:26

Okay

Meredith Miller 54:27

couldn't find anything that would work for the core wound until I was in the sauna that day, and God showed me that it's an ancestral w- that it's an

Dawn Elle Davis 54:33

Okay.

Meredith Miller 54:35

that I

Dawn Elle Davis 54:35

Agreement, yeah

Meredith Miller 54:36

agreement with the ancestor, and that's what started to change everything, that the wound became then the medicine

Dawn Elle Davis 54:43

Okay. And then once somebody does that and they create the new agreement, it sounds as if something opens up inside of them, and then they're able to show up in different ways in their life and maybe be more in their purpose

Meredith Miller 54:59

Totally. It's like all the things that used to collapse you because it would hit up-- the triggers would hit that core wound, nothing to stick to anymore. So the same things happen, and it's like, "Oh, wow, that's so interesting. I'm not responding as I used to." And so instead of transmitting the wound, you start transmitting the medicine, and that medicine starts growing. Like, it's very s- subtle at first, but then it starts growing bigger and bigger, and that becomes this transmission that you realize that you're sharing around you. And that also is part of the ancestral inheritance. It's just that it was buried under layers of all of that unmetabolized trauma

Dawn Elle Davis 55:38

So they can't really get to the, the beautiful parts, let's say, until they metabolize the trauma, move that, become... I always see it as like a clear vessel. I always think of like trauma and all that stuff as bricks. I always see it visual- I'm a very visual person, so for our listeners, I see it as like bricks in your energy field, and if you're trying to bring in more blessings

– Discernment as a superpower — and why Solomon asked for wisdom, not wealth

Dawn Elle Davis 56:00

and more light into your physical body, it gets stopped with all that density and heaviness. So that does make sense that when they start to move that energy, then all the, the light and the blessings and the gifts start to come through

Meredith Miller 56:16

Yeah, clearing the space. And also, like, the way I see it is, like, layers on us of stuff that's not really us. And so, like, all those adaptations, of what we think is our personality is just an adaptation. It's a trauma adaptation. And so as we strip all of those layers away, then we get down to the essence and who we really are, and like you said, creating the space. So that's where the miracles can come in. Because if we're pushing out all of this static, blocks us from receiving. So when we start emptying ourselves, when these miracles come in. That's when alignments start happening. That's when things start moving forward, the right people show up, the right experiences happen, the right opportunities present themselves. And obviously, we still need to have the wisdom of discernment. In fact, that's probably one of the most important things for people to cultivate in this day and age is the wisdom of discernment.

Dawn Elle Davis 57:04

Yes.

Meredith Miller 57:05

What are you gonna say yes to?

Dawn Elle Davis 57:07

yeah. And, and you said something earlier, and I know we're getting close to time, but I just... You said something about when you were, in, I think, Peru, and you were around all these people that were kinda doing narcissistic abuse in the spiritual community. And I don't know why, like I shouldn't ask about this, but I just feel so called because it, to your point about discernment We do have to be careful 'cause just because somebody calls themself a, a healer or they're a leader in some format in our country or whatever does not always mean they're coming from pure intentions. Anybody for that matter, right? And I'm not saying you have to be scared of everybody, but that discernment piece, because it sounds like you really learned and saw it, so much so that you started a YouTube channel about it, that how would you tell people, or what some advice you could give them about how to use that discernment when it comes to relating to other people so that they're making sure that they're trusting their inner voice?

Meredith Miller 58:14

So years ago, I used to think you had to get educated on the red flags, and there's some truth to that. But again, that's still keeping everything outside. And so what I realized in the recent years was you have to pray for discernment. And that's actually what Solomon did. That's the story of Solomon where he didn't ask God for money and wealth. He asked God for wisdom. But that word wisdom in the original Hebrew actually means more like discernment. It's knowing good to evil and being able to see not just in a black and white sense, but being able to see that whole continuum because it is like a continuum. There's nuances, right? And so how do people develop more discernment? Pray for it. Ask God to give you the discernment. And you

Dawn Elle Davis 58:58

That

Meredith Miller 58:59

some difficult experiences 'cause you, you have to learn it in real life, right? You have to be presented with an experience to go, "Okay, let's put it into practice now," right?

Dawn Elle Davis 59:07

Yes

Meredith Miller 59:08

back to God and ask for that

Dawn Elle Davis 59:10

Okay. That's great advice. And I think that it's really powerful because in this day and age, I don't know if you feel this way, but I think one of our superpowers is going to be discernment and using our intuition to, mm, let's see. How do I wanna say this? To understand our yes, yes and nos in life.

– What Meredith is doing next: moving to Florida to see her mom for the first time in 10 years

Dawn Elle Davis 59:30

I don't often need to always see the red flags. I trust the feeling I have in my body most of the time And I, I always give it a chance, but I'm very much like, "Okay, there's something off here." So instead of trying to get all the explanation of why that is, I pray for it. Like, I love that advice. I pray for it as well, and I start to build up that trust muscle within myself with my intuition so that when I'm interacting with life and I'm on my journey, I can understand where I need to engage more, lean in more, when I need to lean back, and I just think that it's gonna be very vital in the, the years to come.

Meredith Miller 1:00:11

Absolutely. More than ever

Dawn Elle Davis 1:00:13

Yeah, yeah. Meredith, I swear to God, I feel like I could talk to you forever 'cause your stories are absolutely incredible. Where can people find you, and do you have anything right now that you wanna share about what you're doing with your work? I know you have a book

Meredith Miller 1:00:31

Yeah, so Inner Integration is the main hub. You can come there and see everything that I have, the podcast, the blog, the books, the coaching. all of that's there, innerintegration.com. I also post the, podcast onto YouTube and on all the podcast platforms. then on Substack, I post, like, the written transcript of the podcast and also some other essays that I write when I just get inspired about something that's happening in the world and how that relates to this work and go a little deeper into that. then I have a newsletter. People can sign up for that where I just share different things that come to me, maybe a little more of a personal share or something more in-depth about what's happening or something in the podcast and something that's emerging in the world and in myself at that time

Dawn Elle Davis 1:01:14

Okay, perfect. And last question: What is your next big thing that you're up to? I feel like you're up to big things. I just get this really deep feeling that you're onto something that's really big for you next. What is that?

Meredith Miller 1:01:30

So next I'm moving to Florida, and I feel like God is calling me there so I can be closer to my mom. I don't like flying anymore, so I wanna be able to drive to see her. I haven't seen her in 10 years. This is gonna be the huge restoration of the Her sister lives in Florida, and so after I connect with my mom, I think eventually I'm gonna reconnect with her sister. Something is gonna happen in that family field, which is then gonna become something more in my work, which I can't fully see it, and I just have to trust the emergence of what's coming. But I know that that's the next step for me

Dawn Elle Davis 1:02:02

That feels huge, and it's such a testimonial to the work that you do, that you're following your intuition, that you are able to repair your relationship enough. I, I think you said at one point you were estranged with your mom, and now you're going to go live near her. That's incredible. Oh my gosh. Meredith, thank you so much for being with us today. You guys give her a follow. She's incredible. And, thanks for sharing all your stories and your beautiful vulnerability

Meredith Miller 1:02:28

Thank you for inviting me so much