All Within

The Naturopath Who Needed IVF: What Happens When the Healer Has to Surrender Her Own Medicine

• Dawn Elle Davis • Season 1 • Episode 11

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Dr. Leah Gordon spent years training to help women heal naturally — root cause medicine, the body's innate wisdom, all of it. Then she discovered, in the middle of a medical school sperm analysis class, that her husband's count was nearly zero. What followed was six years of infertility, painful sex, a libido that had gone quiet, and a slow, hard reckoning with whether she could make peace with the very intervention she'd spent years helping patients avoid prematurely.

Dr. Leah Gordon is a naturopathic doctor specializing in women's hormones, fertility, and libido, and she holds nothing back in this conversation. She and Dawn explore what it actually means to get to the root cause of what's happening in your body (and why conventional medicine so often skips that step entirely), what birth control really does to your emotions, desire, and sense of self, and why so many women in their 40s quietly decide that sex just isn't for them anymore, and what's actually behind that.


Leah also shares the unexpected spiritual turn her infertility journey took, why she had to make peace with the very intervention she'd spent years helping patients avoid prematurely, and how her body, her marriage, and her sense of herself as a woman came out the other side of it all more alive than she'd ever imagined possible.

If you've ever felt like your body was failing you, been handed a prescription without a real conversation, or quietly accepted a version of your womanhood that feels smaller than it should — this episode is for you.

🌿 Connect with Dr. Leah Gordon: @drleahgordon on all platforms
🌿 Womanhood Wellness Membership: womanhoodwellness.com
🌿 Free guides & quiz: drleahgordon.com
🌿 Her podcast: Healthy as a Mother

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The All Within podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. The conversations, stories, and modalities shared by our guests are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition, and should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. 

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About Dawn Elle Davis:

Dawn Elle Davis is a channel, healer, oracle, and transformational mentor with nearly 25 years of experience helping people come home to themselves. She is the co-founder of All Within and the creator of Eternal Self Embodiment™ — a methodology that goes beyond the mind to unlock the deepest layers of who you really are. Dawn is devoted to demystifying the world of healing and making it accessible, real, and deeply human.

https://www.instagram.com/dawnelledavis?igsh=ZDJtNjBidHF4cXdj&utm_source=qr


Introduction: Meet Dr. Leah Gordon

What if healing looked nothing like you were taught? Welcome to All Within. I'm Dawn L. Davis, and every episode I'm sitting down with the healers, the seekers, and the ones who found their way back to wholeness through roads you might not expect. Their stories, their modalities, and their hard-won wisdom. This is where healing gets real. Let's begin.

Dawn Elle Davis

I'm so excited to be back with you guys today and share with you one of my dear friends that I have been so blessed to meet here in Boise. One of my, really dear friends from San Diego introduced me to Leah, and she is a powerhouse who happens to be, this isn't what she does for a living, maybe she has some of it, in her work that she does, but she is a community connector. I have never seen anyone bring together women

Community as medicine & what Leah does

Dawn Elle Davis

like Leah does, and it's been such a gift for me because as someone who's new to Boise, Leah kinda just took me under her wing and has brought me into this beautiful group. And so Leah, thank you so much for being here, and I'd love for you to share with our guests what you do and what you're up to in the world

Dr. Leah Gordon

I just love it. I think connecting with people is so magical, and when Jenna introduced me to you, I just knew we'd be instant friends. so I am a naturopathic doctor. I focus in women's health and hormones and fertility, and I really support women who are sort of fed up with the system, who don't feel like they're getting answers in the way that things are currently happening. I support breaking up with birth control, becoming and preparing for pregnancy and fertility, and just hormonal and libido desire, that whole spectrum of just women's health, and it's a huge passion of mine. I have a membership online called Womanhood Wellness where I support women with all of the natural medicine guidance that they're just not getting in other places,

Dawn's confession: the pharmaceutical rep who sold the pill

Dr. Leah Gordon

and I'm also creating community there because I think community is medicine for women, and a lot of us feel alone in our journey, and that's just not true, you know? So many of us are going through similar things. You just don't know it

Dawn Elle Davis

That's so true, 'cause we keep... I know at least for me, when it comes to libido or birth control, well, especially birth control back in the day, like, I didn't talk to anybody about it. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna confess something to you that maybe I have told you, maybe I haven't. I used to be a pharmaceutical rep that

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah.

Dawn Elle Davis

pills.

Dr. Leah Gordon

I love that.

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah, I've really turned the corner in my life of what I'm doing, 'cause, breaking up with birth control would've been the class that I needed back then. But I was, truth be told, pretty brainwashed and taught to... At that time, I didn't even realize

Dr. Leah Gordon

No

Dawn Elle Davis

All I know that when I went off birth control pills, I started probably when I was, like, 18 or 19, and then I went off of them, like, when I was 30,

What birth control does to emotions and sense of self

Dawn Elle Davis

31 maybe, it was like a veil had been lifted off of me, and it had numbed me.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

I felt like I went from, maybe a little bit of color in my life to, like, the most vibrant, colors of the rainbow kind of person. I just came back to myself, and I was like, "Wait a second. Did this pill have the ability to make me feel that?" Like, kinda... It just m- kinda numbed me out a little bit, truth

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah. Same. Yeah, I felt very numb on birth control, like apathy. I couldn't feel really high highs. I was sad all the time. It affected my libido. I felt the same way. And, you know, for me, I started it in the middle of a chaotic transition in college. I had had a sexual trauma. I had met my now husband, you know, a little bit after that.

Dawn Elle Davis

Hmm

Dr. Leah Gordon

And so when I started birth control, I didn't realize how much it was impacting me because I blamed it on all these other things, and I'm sure there was a part of the other things that were playing a role. But it wasn't until years later that I'm just like, "Okay, all of these other circumstances are now different, and I still don't feel good." And I'm sure so many women have that experience where they don't even realize that how bad they feel is from birth control. Because how would you know if you're in these transitions in your life and you have all this other stuff happening, which is, are usually the time that women start it, in their teenage or early 20 years, you know?

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah, and we're somewhat indoctrinated that it's just the thing that you do,

Dr. Leah Gordon

हम्म

Dawn Elle Davis

healthy and it's good for you, and I'm not... I don't know all the science behind it.

Dr. Leah Gordon

I love that.

Dawn Elle Davis

that much,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Oh my God, I should have you on my podcast as like, an ex birth control pharmaceutical rep turned spiritual healer. I love that

Dawn Elle Davis

because I, but I think that for women, we come into time in our lives,

Being disconnected from your own body

Dawn Elle Davis

and we're not even understanding. We're ju- like, what we should do for our body. I'm so

Dr. Leah Gordon

हम्म

Dawn Elle Davis

because you're working with this complexity and I say that with the most reverence, of a woman's body.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Oh yeah. Crazy complex

Dawn Elle Davis

I wasn't really connected to my body, and I know that sounds really strange, but I was, it was just like, it was just like this thing that got me through my day, and I didn't think about these symptoms I was having, this numbing or these things that were going on at the time like that was trying to maybe get my attention. I just assumed, like, this is who I am, and this is how... So what kind of got you into specializing and helping women with their bodies and their hormones?

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah, a lot of it is based on my own experience being a woman. You know, I say this that I do focus on hormones and fertility and libido

Painful periods, shame, and being first

Dr. Leah Gordon

because I can't pick just one. I- my first experience of being a woman was getting my period, as it is for, for most women, and it was really traumatic and terrible. I had very, very heavy and painful periods. I had a lot of shame. There wasn't a lot of conversation about my womanhood in my household, and my parents, you know, obviously did the best that they could. It's just there wasn't a lot of that information and conversation, and I would bleed through my pants all the time in, in school. I was the first to get my period. I was 12. I was very young.

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah

Dr. Leah Gordon

So there were multiple times that I would have to go home from school because I had blood through my pants or, you know, I had dropped a bunch of tampons on a school walk once and the whole school walked past me, like, picking up this whole box of tampons out of my backpack. And this is in middle school, sixth grade. Kids are so mean, and so I was called tampon girl for the rest of the year. And, now as a 36-year-old, I could be

Tampon girl, sexual trauma, and college

Dr. Leah Gordon

called tampon girl and I could give two shits. I would not care. But as a sixth grader who feels so awkward in her body and no one else is do- like, having this experience, and I was targeted by the boys. You know, the boys, like, when I would go to the bathroom, they'd be like, "Here comes tampon girl." The amount of shame that I internalized around this horrible thing that was happening to me, this blood that would come every month that I had no idea that would cause pain and it was just terrible, was my entrance into womanhood. And then when I went to college, right before then, I had a sexual trauma. It was my first experience of, of sex, which was terrible. And then I went right into college, where I felt very isolated and alone and scared, and I had no friends. I had nobody. And I met my husband not long after, or not, shortly after that, and I went on birth control because I was so scared to get pregnant. I wanted to be a doctor, all these things. And so a lot of my experience, especially in the early years, was fear and shame and

Discovering her husband's infertility in medical school

Dr. Leah Gordon

confusion, and there was all of this just horribleness. And then pain... Like, sex started to become painful. So I loved this man, you know, my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, and it was painful and it was terrible, and I was like, literally everything that has to do with being a woman is the worst. I do not like this experience at all. fast-forward a couple years and we're now going through infertility. Male factor, ironically. W- given everything I had, you'd think it would be female factor. But, severe male factor that I discovered in naturopathic medical school. His sperm, during a sperm analysis class, I discovered was not present, and that put me down this six-year, journey of infertility, which is something that's terrible. I would never wish upon anybody, no matter which partner is the main contributor. And I ended up having to go through IVF, and I know you didn't ask about my whole story, but it all wraps in together because

Dawn Elle Davis

Yes

Dr. Leah Gordon

I had to go through IVF,

Six years of infertility and the existential question

Dr. Leah Gordon

and this whole time I'm experiencing painful sex and low libido because of all the other stuff I'm dealing with. And my husband is just incredible. it's amazing that we have gotten through everything we have. He's, he's just my rock in so many ways. But along the line, it's like anything that has to do with womanhood has just been a struggle for me. I became pregnant, but my pregnancies were very, very hard, like super sick, vomiting all the time. I ended up having C-sections, home births turned C-sections. The only part of my womanhood journey that hasn't been a huge struggle has been actually having-- like, being a mother, like, to my babies. They, they're so sweet. They're challenging at times, but so sweet. And I have since resolved so many of the struggles and the issues with pain and, and all of this stuff, but I'm really passionate about supporting women in these different seasons and in these different capacities that I felt like I didn't have the support and that I see all of these women who I see in practice and in my membership are really being let down

What naturopathic medicine does differently

Dr. Leah Gordon

by the system, the medical system, the cultural system, the health system. Like, everything about how women move through the current world is kind of effed up in my opinion,

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah,

Dr. Leah Gordon

and I know it firsthand, and I see it in the people that I support. And so yeah, for me, the work that I do is deeply personal.

Dawn Elle Davis

Oh my gosh, Leah, thank you for sharing that. That, and I'm s- so sorry that you had to experience a sexual trauma. think that will relate to many women, even just all the infertility issues. There are so many women that I come across, and me even in my own practice as a healer, that are that journey or have gone through that journey. And the thing that I've noticed is the harrowing of lack of control. Like, they're just... 'Cause they're in... They're not going to a naturopath. And I do wanna just ask you really quick for our listeners, just in case they're like, "Well, what's the difference between a naturopath and a Western medical doctor?"

Dr. Leah Gordon

So I'm a naturopathic doctor, and we have a different philosophy of how we see health and the body. Our core philosophy is getting to the root cause, understanding that there's a reason for things, that the body naturally and inherently is designed to be healthy, and there are blockages that can get in the way. A blockage could be something like stress or a nutrient deficiency or a toxin or a chronic infection or something that is blocking our body's ability to naturally be healthy. When we cut ourselves, the body naturally heals that cut. We do not have to tell it to bring the cells and do all the things. It does it naturally. Our body is constantly moving toward health. So when trying to solve an issue, we say, "Okay, what does the body need?" Sometimes we need something that it's not getting. That could be sunshine or certain food or water or love or connection So we remove the blockages, and we give the body what it needs, understanding that there's a root cause to things. That could be mental, emotional, physical, spiritual. The root cause could be on any one of those levels, and that everything's connected, that if you have, depression, it could be because your gut is inflamed. If you are struggling with fertility, the heart issue that you have could be playing a role in that. Like, we are not segmented mechanical beings like the conventional model sees us as, and we really see that everything is connected, and we are, you know, mind, body, spirit, this one being. So the way that we approach health and wellness and disease is just with that different lens. we learn a lot of different tools than just conventional medicine, so we do learn pharmaceuticals. We can prescribe antibiotics and steroids and all that stuff if it's needed, but we really see this hierarchy like a ladder Of, okay, someone comes to us and they're struggling. Okay, we first start at the first rung of the ladder

The ladder of intervention

Dr. Leah Gordon

with the foundations. So if you came to me with painful periods, for example, I would say, first and foremost, what's going on with your diet? Like, that is the foundation. What are you eating? Are you eating foods that are causing inflammation in your body? Inflammation can lead to pain, so we work on that. How are you sleeping? Because if you're staying up late all night, on your phone, on screens, waking up early, chugging a bunch of coffee with sugar, and not eating a good, balanced breakfast, these are the kind of foundations that are gonna make your hormones go haywire. what's going on with your microbiome, the gut bugs in your body? We are 10 times more bacteria than we are human cells, and the types of bacteria that we have in our body can make things be inflamed and cause pain or make us feel really good. So we're looking at these kind of foundations. What's going on with your stress? Are you completely burned out? Are you burning the candle at both ends? Are you barely surviving? Do you have love in your life? You know, do you have relationships and connection that, that bring that oxytocin and the things that, that reduce pain and that, that help us in that capacity. You know, so we're looking at that foundational level, and then we start going up the rung of, okay, well maybe we'll bring in some, some support like extra nutrients such as fish oil. Fish oil can be super anti-inflammatory, so let's bring this next layer of the rung in to support that Now maybe we'll bring in some herbs. So maybe I'm bringing in something like, turmeric, which has curcumin, which is very anti-inflammatory as well. Or maybe we do some deeper investigation and run some labs and look at your hormones, and we see, okay, that's the next layer up. Wow, you have a lot of estrogen. Estrogen can also cause painful periods when it's high. And then maybe we're bringing in some herbs or nutrients or some lifestyle practices to help balance that estrogen. And now we keep going up the ladder. Maybe we've done all that and you still have painful periods. Okay, now maybe I'm gonna refer you for imaging, and see do you have endometriosis? What's going on with that? And at the very top of the ladder, once you've worked on the foundations and all the things in place, if you still have painful periods, maybe I refer you for laparoscopic surgery because we've now figured out you have gone up the ladder, the rung, to where you jumped to the very top and you might need to remove endometriosis. Endometriosis is growth of tissue that's happening inside the body that shouldn't, and it can cause severe painful periods. And so at the very top is surgery, and in the conventional model, a lot of times they jump straight to pharmaceuticals or surgery, which is at the very top of the ladder of intervention. And in naturopathic medicine, we really live in the lower rungs. So we absolutely can prescribe and/or support at the top rungs. Most naturopathic doctors don't do surgery. That's the one thing we don't do, but we can prescribe and do those kind of things, but we treat it very intentionally and only when absolutely necessary when all the other things have been addressed. Because for most women's health issues, and just health issues in general, the majority of them can actually be addressed on those lower rungs, and

Why women are let down by the system

Dr. Leah Gordon

it's the same thing with birth control. Like you mentioned, if a woman comes in for painful periods, the first thing a conventional doc is gonna give is birth control.

Dawn Elle Davis

Exactly

Dr. Leah Gordon

They just bandage it with a pill. And there's a time and a place for pharmaceuticals. There's a time and a place for surgery, but it needs to have that intentionality behind it. So yeah, there's a couple things that separate us. It's our philosophy, it's how we approach treatment, and it's the tools that we're trained in.

Dawn Elle Davis

I love that. And you're so comprehensive. I think that really gives our listeners such, and myself, truth be told, I've been going to a naturopath doctor for years. I think, at least 10, 15 years.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Amazing

Dawn Elle Davis

I had an experience where after I had my second daughter, I had a level of fatigue and probably a little postpartum after, but a level of fatigue that made me feel like I was like the walking dead.

Dawn's postpartum fatigue and Epstein-Barr story

Dawn Elle Davis

I was like, "This is not normal. This is weird." And I remember going to, a doctor at Scripps in, in San Diego, And at that time, I was already on my journey of health, and I had actually, studied at, you know, what is it called? Integrative Institute of Nutrition or something. I did that to get... That was just for me. And so I knew about food. I was exercising. And the first thing he said... Well, you know, he said, "You know, maybe you should, start exercising." I'm like, "I'm doing it." And he's like, "Maybe you need to change your diet." And I'm like, I'm pretty good with it." He goes, "Well-" I think maybe an antidepressant would be good for you.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

And I was like, "W- w- wait a second." I'm already past the pharmaceutical world and not, it, you know, not enamored with the fact of just going on some medicine. I'm like, but there's gotta be some root cause. Like, would an SSRI do for me except to make me numb out and not maybe be as,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

tired or depressed or whatever. And it turned out I had, Epstein-Barr virus,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

had to go to a naturopath to figure that out, and I am so glad I listened to my intuition because it could've just continued on And this is, this is a, a big, important thing that I think our listeners, especially the women, I had so much shame

Dr. Leah Gordon

Totally

Dawn Elle Davis

used to be someone before that, that was like an Energizer bunny. And I actually think I was going against my own internal constitution as well, and I think a lot of women do. But at that time, I was used to just, if I said I was gonna do something, I was gonna do it. And then this all came on, I, I didn't have the energy, but the shame.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah.

Dawn Elle Davis

So I feel like a lot of women when they embark on these journeys, they have this intuitive feeling

Shame, energy, and ignoring body signals

Dawn Elle Davis

or knowing that something is off,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yep

Dawn Elle Davis

I do believe there's a place for Western medicine.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis

And I also know being a pharmaceutical rep, that my job was to convince them of all the different ways that they can prescribe my medication and to entice them,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis

And so it's, it's wonderful to see that there's many different ways now that people can get supported.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

but for what you were saying earlier about shame and women that come to you, and you mentioned that... Did you say it was a six-year journey for you with IVF?

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah, it was a six-year journey from finding out about my husband's sperm to having my baby through IVF. So we tried naturally for five years, until finally we figured out and decided that his count was so severely low, I didn't realize that it had to be something congenital, meaning born with, he was born with something or something genetic. They tested all of that kind of stuff, but

Five years of trying everything naturally

Dr. Leah Gordon

they didn't test everything. So the way that we eventually found out after trying for six years or five years, we did everything possible. I was going into all the root causes of all the things, thinking surely we're gonna have this miracle, you know, where the, the baby just f- appears. Everyone had their stories of it'll just happen, you know, all of this stuff. And finally when we decided to pursue IVF, which was really hard for me to decide because I felt like I was playing God. I felt like if we can't have a baby naturally, are we not meant to be parents? You know, there were so many existential questions that I had that I had to... we talk about, healing you and I together, my healing journey and the processing that I've had to do with therapists and healers along the way. That was a huge, huge part of it. Lots of time spent with healers and in therapy processing this idea of infertility and what does it mean and what is the meaning of life and what does it mean if you can't create life and is it okay and appropriate to do this kind of path if this isn't, you know, what would naturally happen 'cause I'm such a naturopathic doctor, right? Talk about the series of intervention and having a child. and so the, the time of us getting there was partly because we were trying to figure it out to become pregnant naturally, but also it was my resistance to that path. and so when I eventually accepted that as the way, we had to do some extra testing for genetic c- ca- compatibility and that was when I, because I ran the test being a doctor, I got the results and found this really obscure genetic mutation thing that potentially affected the way that the sperm leave my husband's body and it, it gave me a lot of peace because I was like, "Okay, there's literally nothing we could have done." there was no way for us to conceive naturally and I gave it my all, but it anatomically would be like a woman not having a fallopian tube. there's an anatomical thing that it- we cannot work around that, And that is where the miracle of IVF is so amazing and powerful and I'm such a I'm such an interesting character in this world because I'm so passionate about natural medicine, and I'm so passionate about doing that. Like, I'm not like, "Everybody go do IVF. It's amazing." A lot of times I'm saying, "Don't. You probably don't need it. You shouldn't." Right? That is the top tier of the intervention of fertility. We need to work on all these lower rungs. But if you need it, if you have done all the things or there is something very obvious that that is what you need, how do we do it well, and how do we do it as naturally and as optimally as possible? So I have, you know, a course on that inside of my membership. But, just going through that whole process was really eye-opening, but it, it, it was a challenge for me, yeah, with just my own acceptance and my own healing. And I've had a lot of healing along my journey because there's been a lot of hard stuff And I'm grateful for it

Dawn Elle Davis

and I'm curious as to that. There's the science and the data, right? And you're, you're

"I felt like a failure as a doctor"

Dawn Elle Davis

going on this process, and it sounds like during those five years you were working that, those rungs that you e-

Dr. Leah Gordon

हम्म

Dawn Elle Davis

Like, okay, let's look at the nutrition. Let's pr- I, I could imagine, and I know that you're very, like, non-toxic living and all these things, But you're moving through these and you realize, okay, this isn't changing it.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

So then I know you did land eventually on the anatomical information,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

but you said that you really grappled and you had resistance. So what did you make this mean about you, and what was the healing that had to take place in order for this to shift?

Dr. Leah Gordon

There were so many things that I had to unpack during this journey. I, I grappled with being a failure as a doctor. we found out about his sperm when I was still a student, and there was a part of me that was like, well... I was very naive. I've been humbled by my story. I think I see people out in the world who are very gung ho about natural medicine, and they're very extreme in their ideology.

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm

Dr. Leah Gordon

to me, extremism is just a lack of experience and wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom are different to me, and wisdom I feel like comes from the experience of knowing if you think you're right, you're probably not, you haven't lived long enough. You know? Like, you haven't seen enough contradictory experiences to challenge that extremism that you have

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

I know it because I was that way. As a student, I was just, "Oh my gosh, naturopathic medicine is the answer for everything. There is a root cause for everything. As long as you work hard enough, if you dig hard enough, if you investigate hard enough, if you do enough testing, there's something that is gonna be the factor." And, and there is, you know, and there was with my husband. But I felt that we, we could solve it all, you know? We can cure infertility, we can cure autoimmune diseases, we can cure, chronic complex neurological stuff. You know, I was in that second year of naturopathic medical school just on cloud nine thinking w- I have all the answers. They, they would always tell us in school, we were not allowed to do any sort of health coaching or practicing at all in the four years that we were training to be a naturopathic doctor because they said that the people who know a little but don't know everything are the most dangerous.

Dawn Elle Davis

Ooh,

Dr. Leah Gordon

And I see it. I see it in, like, the explosion of health coaching in the online space, where they know a little but they don't know everything, and they, they can be dangerous in certain ways because they don't understand all of the pieces. And, so at that time, I was very confident. When I... Well, I was very devastated when I had to break the news to my husband that day when we did the sperm analysis class. We had to get a sample of his sperm. And we looked at it under the microscope, and I just kept making slide after slide, and there was nothing there. And I had to break

Breaking the news to her husband

Dr. Leah Gordon

the news to him that night. We hadn't even started trying. In my mind, I was the classic millennial go-getter woman who has dictated my entire life. You know, I was valedictorian, and I was gonna get into this degree and this college and graduate with honors. You know, whatever it is that I wanted, I always got.

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

if I just worked hard enough and put in the dedication and the effort. And I just assumed after medical school that we would just get pregnant. You know, that was the path. That was the, the way it was gonna go. And when I had to break the news to him I went through a lot of different things. I'm a fixer by nature. It's how I deal with my overwhelm is I try to fix.

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

I told it to him, but then I was like, "But we're gonna figure this out. Like, w- it's gonna be fine," you know? So I put on that role of we're gonna figure this out. We're going to do all the things because I am so confident in my medicine and in the healing ability of the body that we are gonna be pregnant, so I went through the, all the stages of grief, and, I wasn't in denial. I was in we're gonna fix this.

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah

Dr. Leah Gordon

And as we kept going on and it wasn't working, and years passed, and years passed, and we kept going to all these specialists and doing all this stuff, and it still wasn't happening, I felt like a failure, you know? So that was a huge factor. I felt like to- not that our medicine failed me, but that either I couldn't figure it out, we couldn't figure it out. And so then that extrapolated into bigger, bigger reasons or bigger existential crises that I would talk about, which is are we not meant to be parents if we can't do this naturally? If the medical system didn't come around and invent IVF, we wouldn't have a child potentially. So does that mean that we aren't meant to be parents?

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

what is the whole, "It's meant to be. It'll happen. Nature is the wisest," you know? "Nature knows best." So I'm like, okay, if nature knows best and we can't get pregnant naturally, does that mean it's

Grief, identity, and the perfectionist who couldn't fix this

Dr. Leah Gordon

best for us not to be parents?

Dawn Elle Davis

Wow.

Dr. Leah Gordon

And you know, I would sit with that of like, my medicine has failed me. I am a failure. Maybe we're not meant to be parents. But why? Mike and I both wanna be parents more than anything. To me, it was like the reason for my existence. I always knew because I was a millennial that I needed to have a career, but I wanted a career that would allow me to be a mom. I wanted to be a mom more than anything. And so I'm like, how cruel that this is happening to, to me, and what does it mean? And then because I had a lot of issues with sex and pain, I was like, am my husband and I not meant to be together? Because that part of our relationship is hard, and we're also not getting pregnant. Is this... Like, so then I would have existential crisis about my relationship even though I love him so much. I mean, he's like my favorite person in the whole world.

Dawn Elle Davis

Oh, I love that, Leah

Dr. Leah Gordon

But I would have these conversations with myself of, "Okay, I'm having low libido, understandably so. I have extreme pain," you know? But I'm having pain, which now I know why, which I didn't before. I wish I did. But it, it led me to have all these really hard questions, and then I would have existential crises about life, and should we be doing IVF? Should we be making babies if it's not natural? We make all these embryos. What happens to them? What is the meaning of that? You know, it was like I would sit in these, like, healing sessions, and it would just be so hard not knowing if I'd ever be a mom, if I'm supposed to be a mom, if I'm going against God. Like, God not want me to be a mom? Because then it should just happen naturally when you're five years in, you're like, "Is this not my lot in life? And am I wrong for pushing harder and for wanting this? Am I wrong for wanting to go down these interventions that I, in my medicine, don't agree with in so many ways?" it was a really complex thing to tease apart.

Dawn Elle Davis

But something

Mary Morrissey and the manifestation framework

Dawn Elle Davis

I just wanna commend you on is your ability, first of all, to be so real and vulnerable and say, "Yeah, I felt like a failure." Because I think every single one of us in some part of our lives has that conversation with ourself, and it's that defining moment where it's like, okay, am I gonna let this take over, destroy me, or am I going to have some curiosity and openness? Which you did, 'cause you kept exploring and saying, "Okay, w- what does this mean? I'm not gonna just say that's it."

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis

stayed with the conversation and kept pulling the thread. And what I love about this, Leah, is that you're not just a doctor who this education and intellectual understanding of all these things. You have lived an experience where you understand how challenging and difficult it is for a woman to have a baby, because we're all conditioned to think that when we want, on demand, on command, that we're just gonna, "Oh, okay, it's time for me."

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis

It's time for me to start having a baby. I'm ready." And then all of a sudden life's like, "But I'm not ready for you." And then it this just frustrating and, you know, all, all different types of experiences depending on the person.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

when you dealing with these existential questions, how did you finally land the IVF decision?

Dr. Leah Gordon

I'm trying to think back on if there was a specific moment that I was like, "It's okay." You know what actually happened? I created a manifestation course this last spring called The Dream Life Formula to add into my membership, because I went to a conference in 2019 with a woman named Mary Morrissey, who I love. She's like this wise woman who I'm just like, "Oh, you're so sweet." And it was a total accidental conference. I didn't even know I was going to it. I had signed up for this mastermind, and it was a free additional ticket, and I just felt this huge call. I'm very intuitively driven. And so when I feel an intuitive call or I get an intuitive hit, I usually follow it and I don't question it that much. And so I told my husband, "There's this conference in Dallas. I don't even know what it is." I knew literally nothing about it. But I was like, "I think I need to go, and I want you to come with me." And so we both flew to Dallas. I remember this moment, 'cause we're walking into this conference. I'm not even kidding you. I didn't know what it was. I mean, I had briefly looked it up. I was like brave, thinking it's too... I was like, "Okay, whatever. I, I just think I need to go to this." And mo- both of us looked at each other, and there's all these women, you know, like mid, like 30s, 40s women, like so excited. I was like, "What? Where am I? Like, what is happening?" But she taught me this amazing formula on manifestation, and I was introduced to The Secret when I was, like, 13.

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

at a spinal

The vision she held — and lived into

Dr. Leah Gordon

rehab clinic, an integrative type of clinic, and I was given a lot of responsibility really early on working with patients and doing all sorts of stuff. And it was a requirement with my boss, who owned the clinic, that we watch The Secret every week

Dawn Elle Davis

No way.

Dr. Leah Gordon

So I was already somewhat aware of that type of stuff. I loved quotes, I loved inspiration, so it, it's not like it was, completely strange to me, the manifestation world. But the framework that she gave and the exercises that we walked through in that conference in 2019, I imagined my dream life. They have you do this time machine where you future vision three years from now, and it doesn't matter any of your circumstances, what is it that you, that is in your heart? She says, "Whatever is in your heart is meant for you on some level. It's just learning how to get to that level, that identity of yourself in all of these things. And I remember it was very simple. I used to cry to my husband every night. I was like, "I just want a house and a baby. Like, why is that so hard? That feels like it should be so simple." We lived in California at the time. And so in my vision, I imagined this big, beautiful house. I knew exactly the layout. I mean, I could d- describe it to you, I could draw the blueprints for it. It was so clear. And I was walking out of my bedroom on the right side behind this fireplace, pregnant, walking barefoot, and this, a toddler in the living room. So I'm pregnant with this second baby, with this toddler, in this big, beautiful house, and I, I knew I did some sort of work that allowed me to stay home, and my husband had this big thing in a garage. It was so clear to me. And I mean, it made me cry, and she had us do it over and over again, and we learned all of these different principles. And anyways, I signed up for a year with her. And every single week, you know, I was learning from Mary and, and practicing 'cause I wanted it so bad. I was like, "I want this so bad," and I believed that I could have it, I just didn't know how. That's what she would say. She said, "You can't focus on the how, you have to focus on the what, and the how will figure itself out. You know, you have to trust that." And so I was like, "Okay, I'm literally doing everything." I'm four years into the journey at this point. It was 15... Yeah, four years into the infertility journey. And I just kept focusing on that. And, you know, I don't know if I ever consciously made the choice through my therapy to be like, "You know what? IVF's great. I think it's fine." I think what happened is the universe rearranged itself to make my dream happen, that IVF just became the next thing that needed to happen. Because I wouldn't have that dream, which fast-forward to 2023, and I'm literally walking in my big, beautiful house that I imagined, barefoot, pregnant with my second child, with my toddler on the floor. And the in-between story is an amazing story. But I literally created my dream life. It was, like, three years and six months you know? I don't believe that that could've happened, and what she says is the universe rearranges itself to make it happen, and I don't believe that would've happened if I hadn't allowed IVF to be an option for us And I don't know if I consciously chose it as opposed to it was almost like the universe

Letting life rearrange: healing forward

Dr. Leah Gordon

chose it for me to be like, "You are now going down this path. You have processed and cried enough. You are fine." And they kinda gave me the nugget of I had to make sense out of my suffering and my struggle, which was you are not not having this baby because you are not meant to have a baby, but so that you can go through this so that you can help other women.

Dawn Elle Davis

Exactly

Dr. Leah Gordon

changing that story and that narrative changed everything for me

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah. I love that perspective. And it's really interesting, Leah, because what I hear you saying, and from my spiritual lens, is that you let God in, right? Like, you, you trusted that there... Or you could call the divine. You trusted that what was in your heart was real, and that was the kinda north star to your life. And I love how you said you let life rearrange itself, which I am a huge believer in as well. And with all my clients, I'm always doing futuring work, and I always say that you don't have to worry about the how, and I've seen it time and time again, But there has to be an openness, and that's what I hear from you, is it wasn't just a staunch, like, pushing everything away, and it's like if it doesn't have, if you didn't understand th- a specific thing, then okay, then I'm not going in that direction. It just sounded like that whole Mary Morrissey experience kind of rewrote some things inside of you, and then you just had this openness. And I think that's such an important thing for everybody to hear, no matter what healing journey they're on, whether it's having a baby or a physical ailment or some emotional thing, that we do have to take the action,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

also leave room for the divine and the miracles that can happen

Dr. Leah Gordon

She would always say, This or something better still." And that you focus on your dream and you take the next best step. You come from your dream, you don't get to it, shifting that identity. And I've done a lot of work. So I love the processing. I have to do a lot of healing with practitioners and different people to process what's going on with me, to dig up the trauma. I mean, that was my infertility journey. The trauma of my sexual trauma and the pain and all of that was a whole other journey of rooting that up and digging through that. I've been to so many people and I've done so much because there's so much complexity to all of this. and so it's doing both, right? It's not just ignoring everything that's hard and scary and, and shitty that's happened to you and being like, "I just want this shiny thing," you know? You have to focus on what it is that you want and that you're calling in and intentionally create your life in that way, but you also have to realize the identity of the person that can hold that dream. And if that person's identity from you currently to who that person needs

Integrating trauma healing and future visioning

Dr. Leah Gordon

to be is having issues, a lot of times it is from these traumas, blockages, past experiences that need to be healed and processed 'cause you can't become that person without that part. So I think it's a part that some of the manifestation world misses, is the deep, dark healing, but that the manifestation part is something that the trauma therapists miss where they just live in the trauma all the time. And it's like, okay, but what do we actually want? You know, instead of this is sad, this is hard, let's process it, let's do... You know? But okay, we're doing that so that we can get to this dream. It needs to be, have both, right? That I integrate everything all the time. Like, I'm just like a master integrator. The web in my brain, if you could like see all the different cogs and the wheels and all the things that integrate, not only in spirituality and how we are in the world, but in medicine and health and, oh, it's kind of exhausting to be in my brain sometimes. But it all integrates together. And so, when I tell people my story and they're like, "How can I get to where you are and have what you have?" It's like, oh gosh, it's a lot to unpack, you know?

Dawn Elle Davis

Well, it

Dr. Leah Gordon

of parts and pieces.

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah, it wasn't a linear. So you're right, 'cause that framework, I think it's important for our listeners to understand that, 'cause I agree, 'cause I do that with my clients as well. It's like, I call it healing forward. You have something that you're healing forward to, some vision, some dream. But the moment that you claim you want that thing, then that's when life starts reorganizing and

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

and then you'll have the challenges that will bring up that specific charge, that trauma from the past

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yep

Dawn Elle Davis

to be dealt with, looked at, metabolized, so that your energetic and inner architecture can start to shift so you can become a vibrational match to that identity.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yes

Dawn Elle Davis

who's still stuck in the trauma, isn't a vibrational match yet.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yep

Dawn Elle Davis

And if they don't have something fun to kinda work towards, I always think like, well, healing and life has gotta be fun. If we're just like

Painful sex, libido, and what nobody talks about

Dawn Elle Davis

in, you know, doing it, it's all difficult, then there's no... That's not inspiring.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

exciting. So anyways, I love that you said that, and I'm curious, because you've mentioned it a couple times, because I think that there's some women out there that might have libido, and you said you had painful sex, and that just is... I mean, that we could do a whole other podcast on that.

Dr. Leah Gordon

I know

Dawn Elle Davis

But I'm just so curious because I don't think that's talked about a lot, like at least the painful sex. I think, I,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

that's something that people must gloss over. I know I had a best friend that had issues or had that, had to deal with very, very painful sex, and it was so hard for her. So I'm curious about that for you.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah, it's honestly the worst thing. I would never wish it upon anybody. I mean, infertility is hard emotionally, but pain is something else entirely, and pain that is triggered by something that's supposed to be, like, a loving thing. You know, analogy that I use... Libido's very complicated. there's a lot to unpack with it, because it's mental, emotional, it's cultural. We, we create certain beliefs and patterns that run the show, but then it's also physical. It's also hormonal. It's also relational. There's a lot of parts and pieces, and it's different for every person what those are. I feel like I sort of had all of them, which again, I've, I've made... I have come to accept that based on the story that I am meant to teach and share. I'm like, "What the actual F? Like, why have I had all of this if not for to share and teach?" Which is why I'm so open about it. People are like, "I can't believe you talk about that." And my husband is so open. He's like, "I literally don't care what you talk about with my... with sex, with fertility." I'm like, how amazing that I married

Women as cats, men as golden retrievers

Dr. Leah Gordon

this man who, who would be... I- if God was like, "I'm gonna send you down to have really hard experiences in everything that has to do with, like, womanhood, so you're gonna have to have a partner who can be, like, the very best person for this. He's gonna be infertile, but also he's gonna be the best in every single way," that is my husband. Because so many men would have left me, and, and a lot of women maybe would have given up on their, their husbands, you know? Or not be able to figure out what's going on with him or be a- as helpful. Like, we talk so much about how we were really placing each other's paths so intentionally, and just who we are as people. I, I literally feel like God chose us to have this struggle and to be the type of people we are, because we are, like, so perfectly chosen. Because he's so open. He has no ego. He doesn't care. He doesn't get, you know, offended. Like, he's just, brilliant. So anyways, with the pain, the analogy that I use is I was raised Catholic, so there was a lot of shame around sex,

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

And so the analogy I use is imagine a little girl and you say, "The stove is hot. Do not touch the stove. The stove is gonna burn you.

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

somebody takes your hand and makes you touch the stove, and it hurts really bad, and you burn yourself, and you're nursing your wounds. And then you meet someone who you love, and they're like, "Do you wanna touch the stove?" And you're like, "No." But they're like, "But I love you, and that's what we do when we love each other is we touch the stove." And you're like, "What do you mean? Like, I was told not to touch the stove. The stove is wrong. I'm bad for touching the stove. I touched the stove-" When I didn't want to, and it hurt really bad. And now every time that we get together and we touch the stove, I get burned. And I'm supposed to want this?

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah

Dr. Leah Gordon

don't, I don't desire touching the stove, you know? Yet that's how you make a baby, and when you have infertility for five years, you have to be touching the stove all the time.

Dawn Elle Davis

Yeah

Dr. Leah Gordon

and I was like, "This can't be my life," you know? And I love my husband. I didn't wanna be with somebody else. And so because of that dedication to each other, like we have been through so much processing of both of our stuff, him doing things, me doing stuff. I mean, he has his own stuff. He's afraid to hurt me, right? Like,

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leah Gordon

and now through this full arc 18 years later, I've really, like, cracked the code. I've solved it, and I don't have pain anymore, and I'm building back my libido, which is a thing that comes when you have pleasurable and exciting experiences. You know, you don't crave bad cake. You're not like, "Wow, I had a really shitty piece of cake. I want more of that." Like, nobody... That's just not how the body and brain is wired. So it's really amazing and beautiful, and my husband and I's sex life is amazing. Like, astronomically better than probably most people's, yet we have come from such a shitty, shitty situation. And again, like I, I feel like I was just given, like, the most amazing man to, to do that processing and that work with. There were some really dark, dark times, you know, during that whole journey.

Dawn Elle Davis

I can imagine because something that people assume will just come naturally, that,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

we're meant to have sex and it's just gonna be.... it's talked up all the time like it's so pleasurable. Nobody talks about the, the shadow side of it where it isn't. And I don't even know, if I hadn't had my best friend who had dealt with that, I don't know if I would've even have known about that. But I do have to say your relationship with Mike is, is goals for people because, to your point, a lot of men might be like, "Oh, I don't want you to talk about that."

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

But it's such a spiritual union you guys have because without the permission slip for him to give to you to talk about, whole mission, the whole thing that you're spreading and you're giving women this warm, soft landing of like you okay, you are welcome here. You are not failing. There's nothing wrong with you. We just need to figure some things out.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

Th- I mean, to me, if I were gonna go see a doctor, I mean, I've already had my kids, I'm in menopause, but like if I were in that time of my life and wanting to learn, I don't wanna learn from somebody who's just had like the perfect scorecard and everything's been easy for them because they're not gonna

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah.

Dawn Elle Davis

me if I'm the one that's having the difficulty, if I'm the, the hard project. for you, you see them and I, and I know because I'm your friend, I know how much you love your patients and the care and that experiential wisdom that you're bringing to them is priceless.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm. Thank you

Dawn Elle Davis

yeah, truly. And s- the sex thing, I think with libido in women, I hear so many women m- maybe

Sensuality, slowness, and feminine vitality

Dawn Elle Davis

around the 40s start to say, "It's just not that important to me."

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

And I'm always so fascinated by that

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah

Dawn Elle Davis

I feel like sex is part of our radiance and vibrancy. And I think that to your point, there can be... I, I think a lot of women have had sexual trauma. It's very relational. I have been in situations in my life where I didn't enjoy it because I wasn't with the right person. But when you are with the right person, I think not only is it healing

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis

but I feel like it's what keeps me young

Dr. Leah Gordon

I mean, it's what I call your woman essence. You know, we have an essence as women that drives our hormones, our fertility, and our sex, and it is like a life force energy. It is a core part of ourselves, and I think a lot of women struggle with libido and not feeling like it's for them or whatever because either they're disconnected from their own woman essence, they're disconnected from their own, femininity, or they haven't had good experiences with the partner that they're currently with that they want more of that. And so, I mean, I could go on a whole tangent about what I think is wrong with culture and, like, how we got there and why, if you're in a heterosexual relationship, why a lot of men struggle and aren't very good at pleasuring women because of porn and all sorts of different cultural things. And so because, again, it's bad cake. Like women... I- if someone was like, "I just made you your most favorite dessert ever." Like, imagine the most decadent dessert ever that you've ever had. It's so delicious. And someone was like, "Would you like to have this?" And you'd be like, "It's just not really for me." It's like no one would say that. You'd be like, "Yes, please." A lot of women have bad cake, and it's not necessarily their fault, and it's not necessarily their partner's fault. There's just, where would you ever learn as a couple, as a man, as a woman these things? It's not in our culture. It's not at school. It's not anywhere. And so, and with

Why libido disappears when women are burned out

Dr. Leah Gordon

the quick dopamine hits of social media and porn and, you know, all of the things that happen, it, it can feel like work. We're burned out as a culture. A lot of women are burning the candle at both ends, especially millennial women or, Gen X, right? That's, like, the one that is in the 40s, 50s. We're burned out, and the first thing that goes is our libido because it is... Fertility and libido are extra, right? They're not essential for survival. So if a woman is burned out, and she's burning the candle at both ends, and she's exhausted and all of these things, then that's not going to support her. And for a lot of women, time in the bedroom feels like another to-do list, another task, another way that they are giving to somebody else versus receiving. And if they were receiving, if they're like If someone said, "Can you go make me my favorite dessert every night?" A woman would be like, "I don't want to. I don't want to make you your favorite dessert every night." If someone said, "You know what? Sit down. Put your feet up. I'm gonna make you your favorite dessert tonight," you'd be like, Okay,

Dawn Elle Davis

है

Dr. Leah Gordon

I'm gonna go sit on the couch, and you're gonna make me my favorite dessert and then give it to me?"

Dawn Elle Davis

Mm-hmm

Dr. Leah Gordon

no woman would be like, "No, I'm not into that." They would love it, but that's not what's happening. They are making desserts for other people, and they're over it, you know?

Dawn Elle Davis

Yes. And I know for me, when I slow down in my life, I've always considered myself a very sensual being,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm

Dawn Elle Davis

that when I slow down and I'm not going a million miles an hour and I'm tuned into my body, I can feel that desire, it just feels delicious because I feel so alive when I can tune into that. But I also remember in my 20s and 30s when I was just go, go, go, go, go all the time, and sex felt like, oh, no, that's just one more thing that life wants from me. And so it is interesting. from a spiritual perspective, is honoring and our constitution, and the way the w- a woman's body is very different than a man's, and it needs some restoration. It cannot go be productive. It needs to slow down because that's where we receive our intuitive downloads. That's how we heal.

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yep

Dawn Elle Davis

that rest and repair. to your other point about porn, yeah, there's so much dopamine, somebody gets used to that and think that- thinks that that is where it's at, just... it seems like it just really can destroy what is available to people if they're not using that. And I'm not judging anybody,

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah, totally

Dawn Elle Davis

I know my husband doesn't, he doesn't engage in porn, and that's something that we talked about from the get-go. And I was just so happy to be with somebody that's like, "I'm gonna make a conscious decision that this isn't gonna be... You're not gonna be competing with this. My dopamine is not gonna be hijacked by this because I wanna be present for our relationship." And I know that's not for everybody, but I

Dr. Leah Gordon

Mm-hmm.

Dawn Elle Davis

I adored that

Dr. Leah Gordon

Yeah. It's amazing. And yeah, I mean, there's no shame. There's good and bad. It's like alcohol. It's like gambling. I mean, you can have a very healthy relationship to going to Vegas, playing a couple hands of blackjack, and leaving and not completely destroying your entire fortune and being addicted to gambling. You can have a cocktail once a month and not be an alcoholic. Like, there are things... You can watch a show on TV and not have, like, a dopamine, you know, addiction to screen time. It- it's not necessarily the thing. There's two parts with porn. One is, like, the actual things that they see is not what women want. So

Dawn Elle Davis

No

Dr. Leah Gordon

a guy's like, "Oh, this is really..." Like, do not do that. Like, no girl wants that, you know?

Dawn Elle Davis

like "Do not do

Dr. Leah Gordon

women women need the buildup. A lot of women, for libido, they're responsive desire, meaning they only want to engage once

The "bad cake" theory of women's desire

Dr. Leah Gordon

they've already been stimulated or loved in some way, and that's different for every woman. Sometimes it's speaking to them in their love language, whether that's words of affirmation or quality time or whatever. They need some actual stimulation, you know, a kiss on the neck in the middle of the day or a flirty text or something. Like, foreplay starts 12 hours before, you know, bedroom time, and a lot of men are not like that. They're spontaneous desire. So they're like, "Oh, I want sex. I'm ready. Oh, right now," like a rocket. A woman is like a flower. It would be like going to a flower that's about to bloom and, like, forcing it open by pulling the petals. That doesn't work. You literally have to be patient. I, I always use the analogy that men are like golden retrievers and women are like cats. And you can get both of them to come love you, but a golden retriever is gonna just run at you, lick you all over, like, "Oh my God," like, jump on you, like, almost too mu- You're just like, "Oh my gosh," like, "Calm down." And a cat, if you do any of that, is gonna run away. Like, you have to be calm, and you have to be quiet, and you have to sit still, and you have to let them come to you, and then they will purr. And, like, once you get a cat to come into your world, they will love you so hard, you know? I mean, just like the love that they pour out. That's the feminine, right? It will just pour and purr and stuff. But you can't rush it, and you can't force it, or it will just completely run under the bed and hide, and that's how a lot of women's libido is. And men don't necessarily know how to evoke and, and bring out that femininity, and women don't know how to do it in themselves either because we've been raised in this more masculine model of the, of our culture. And we think that we're wrong because we aren't like our male counterparts, but we are different. And we are equal but different. And I think when we don't explore and honor those differences is where so much suffering is happening for women. And in the sex and libido place, space, it's just... There's so much there. And, like, with the pain, sometimes it's from a past trauma that needs to be processed. Sometimes the libido is because of something inside of her. Sometimes there's shame for her own sexuality because of how she was raised or things that have- happen. Sometimes it's the actual relationship, like her partner doesn't know how to turn her on. She doesn't know how to turn herself on. Sometimes it's situational, you know, whether, whatever season you're in. It's like how do you have time to, to get the kitty to come to you when there's literally no time in the day? I mean, my husband and I are in the thick of it. We have two little kids. We both run businesses, and we still make a very, very conscious effort to try, and we are very, very dedicated, and it's still almost nearly impossible to find time, you know? we try as best we can, but imagine a couple that's not intentional and, and is like, "Well, you know, it's not that big of a deal to me on both sides," because he's getting his needs met somewhere else or whatever, you know, with whatever he's doing, and she's just like, "I'm so burned out. I don't know." Like, even with that intentionality in certain seasons, it can still be hard. And so I think that's why they say a lot of women in their 40s and 50s have this sexual

Where to find Dr. Leah & Womanhood Wellness

Dr. Leah Gordon

reclamation and kind of coming back to themselves, partly because you're confident and you have all this deeper understanding, but also you're not as much on the hustle train of raising little children or, you know, having all these things. But it, it's just complex. Yeah, it's, these are not things that are simple and that you can solve in a 10-minute doctor's appointment, which is why women aren't getting the support they need.

Yeah. So true Leah these problems cannot be solved in 10 minutes in a doctor's appointment. Mm-hmm. Which is why you are such a gift and resource to women. Mm-hmm. And I would love for women to be able to find you. So can you tell them where, and then also if you have anything currently that you're up to right now that you wanna share. Yeah. So you can find me on all social channels at Dr. Leah Gordon, so D-R L-E-A-H G-O-R-D-O-N. Uh, my website is drleahgordon.com. You can also find me at, uh, womanhoodwellness.com. I mean, Womanhood Wellness is my membership, so if you guys are interested in diving deeper into any of these courses or the programs or the things that I have talked about, it's all inside of there, and we have community, and it's, it's a really beautiful place. I am gonna be relaunching my Breaking Up With Birth Control program in the fall. I don't know exactly when this is, is launching, but that is coming down the pipeline. If you are someone who's on birth control or you know someone who's on birth control, I'm just helping to guide that. So if that's not the season you're in, the membership is really where you should start if you want more support. And if you just wanna interact with some of my free things, I have a lot of amazing free guides. I have a free quiz. It's all on my website. So just go to drleahgordon.com, and I have support for you based on whatever season you're in. And yeah, it's just my, it's my favorite thing to do. Oh, I love it. Oh, and I, I also have a podcast, so, uh- Yes, you do. Yeah I co-, yes, I co-host a podcast called Healthy as a Mother, uh, with my bestie Morgan. She... It's on becoming and being a mother. So if you are in that season of fertility, women's health, and/or pregnancy, postpartum, all of that, it is a, a beautiful resource as well, and you can find that on all the podcast channels. Awesome. I can't wait to give it a listen myself. Yes. And thank you, Leah, for being here and just being so vulnerable with your story, 'cause I know so many women are going to see themselves in you, and I just think that's, that's leadership, being so brave, and that's how we help so many people. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here and for being a part of a movement that's revolutionizing what's possible with healing. You being here matters. Share this episode with someone who's ready. Subscribe so you never miss what's next, and come find your people at all within.com. Until then, stay curious and trust what's unfolding