Choosing to Grow Up

Joel Enyart (one of Rocky Peak's teaching pastors) talks about making the choice to "take off the letterman jacket" and move forward into growth and maturity. Joel takes us to 1 Corinthians 13 and unpacks how maturity is grown as we make daily choices to love as Jesus loves us.   

For more info about RPYA check us out on Instagram @rpyoungadults or at our landing page on rockypeak.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, but it is good to be with you once again. If we have not had a chance to meet yet, you just sang to me, which might have been awkward for you as well as it was for me. But my name is Dre. I am the young adult pastor here at Rocky Peak. And especially if it's your first time, I want to welcome you to RPYA. And I want to tell you a little bit about what you've gotten yourself into on this Mother's Day evening. So if you have the ability to, I hope you called or texted your mom at some point today. But for those of you that are new, or those of you that are here for the first time, RPYA stands for Rocky Peak Young Adults. We exist as a ministry because we believe that Jesus wants to unleash a movement of passionate, Christ-following young adults, specifically between the ages of 18 and 25. And we've been saying this the last several weekends that there is a lot being said about your generation. And a lot of that is including words like anxious, detached, broken. And we exist because we reject that as a defining feature. There is some truth to that, but we believe that Jesus wants to use your generation to change the world and generations to come. And a big way that we partner with Jesus in that are the Sunday nights. We meet in this room every Sunday night at 6.30, and we design our Sunday nights to be a place of encounter. We design these Sunday nights to be a place for real people, and catch me on that. Real people, not idealized versions, not a hypothetical version, not some disnified sanitized version of you, but for the real you to be able to come into this place and encounter the real Jesus. Because the real resurrected king, he's not interested, it's a mask or some idealized version of you. He wants to meet you where you really are and wants to walk in your real life. And so again, I'm excited for all of you to be all of you that you're here, whether it's your first time or your thousandth and millionth time. Tonight on this Mother's Day weekend, I invited my friend Joel to come and to teach for us. If you have not gotten to meet, Joel Enyard is one of the teaching pastors here at Rocky Peak. He is the pastor of our singles ministry. Joel actually has deep history with the Young Adult Ministry when Joel first came to Rocky Peak originally 2007, which how many of you were not born in 2007? Well, it depends on when in 2007. And so he's got not only a legacy with us, but a lot of belief in what God does in your is God is doing through your generation. So Joel's gonna be kicking off a brand new series called Growing Up. But what I want to do is we tend to is I want to start by reading some scripture. So if you would open up your Bibles, turn your abs on, we're gonna be going to 1 Corinthians chapter 13. For those of you that are new to church, welcome. The Bible is broken up into two halves. The second half we call the New Testament. And in the New Testament, you're gonna find two letters written by the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians. We're going to 1 Corinthians chapter 13. And we're gonna be starting at verse 4. Starting at verse 4, it says, Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And finally, love never fails. RP Way, would you give some hooting and hollering and welcome Joel Lanyard up?

SPEAKER_01 4:10

What's up, everybody? How are we doing tonight? You doing fun. Hey, this is always fun to come back into this specific ministry and partner with you. And see, like Dre said, like 2007, our family moved here, and I got to lead the ministry at that time. And like some of you weren't born yet, or depending on the year, right? That's where it was. Yeah, so that's awesome. So our our our youngest who's snuck into the room tonight wasn't born at that point in time. And yeah, she's welcome. Yeah, she's graduating, so she'll be here on the 31st officially, but don't stare at her or make it awkward, it's okay. Um, but yeah, hey, I'm excited as Drainer are kind of talking through some things. It's like, okay, we're gonna do this two-part series called Growing Up. And I don't know, I don't know if you've experienced this in your life, but have you ever had someone just kind of come hard at you and be like, grow up? Right? Yeah, like parents something like so. At one level, that phrase grow up can feel like an attack, but at another level, the idea of growing up can feel like an invitation. Like to step into something more, to step into something exciting, like to see what there is for you beyond where you currently are. And I like I don't know if you've ever had that friend who just always feels like they're like a few years behind where you and the rest of your friends are in terms of maturity. Like, you do you have that friend? I love it. You are not you are some of you are working hard not to look at somebody in the room right now. That was awesome. But yeah, like for they're just super immature. Like something happened developmentally for them. Maybe they were dropped in their head, we don't fully know. But they're just kind of like, dude, and you want to say grow up sometimes, and you're like, how do I how do I invite them into more of what their life is? Because it's really easy for us, if we're not careful, to get stuck in moments in life. So I remember this very, very much when back when I was in high school, way back in the day. And um, back when I was in high school, these things called these things called letterman jackets were still a big deal. Is that still a thing? Was that a thing for you guys in high school? Yeah, like some of you are, yeah, probably depending on your school, or like even back then, like this is the end of the 80s, into the 90s, like it was still popular, but even then it felt like with this like a throwback to the 50s. It was an interesting thing. But typically, if you were in sports, right, you got your letterman jacket. And it was just this cool way of walking around, like, look at me, I'm an athlete, or whatever it was, and that's just how it works. So every Friday night you go to the football game, and most of like the players who are football players were out on the field, so they're not wearing, they're wearing their jersey, but you would see in the stands like all the other athletes in the other sports who would be wearing their letterman jacket. And I don't remember, I don't know what it was like for you going to high school football games, but for me, kind of the crowd was broken up into groups, right? So over here is where the band would be to like play and cheer on. Out on the field was like the cheer team, the dance team, then the football team, then the rest of the students, and then there was like the jocks with their jerseys on. Then there was a section where like the parents would sit and kind of like do their thing. And then there was this weird group that would show up to every Friday night football game. And it was guys wearing their Letterman jackets who had graduated years before. And like I remember like some of them I recognized as I went through high school because they graduated, but there were guys I never I didn't recognize because they were like eight years out of high school, ten years out of high school. I know some of your faces were like, ooh, like, yeah, creepy stranger danger, right? Like, um, but like they would show up like wearing their high school letterman jacket, and like like they were just there to relive the good old days, right? It's like they're in their 20s and they're having like a quarter life crisis already. It was like bizarre. And I just remember like it like feeling kind of like, guys, this is pathetic. Like, move move on. Like your life is bigger than this, like, you know, sort of a thing. And and and it's just a tragedy when you see that in in a person's life or in a person's story. Like something happened developmentally, and they're stuck in a moment or in a season or in a place, and they haven't grown up beyond where they used to be. And it's really tragic when that can that happens in life. And I think it's especially tragic when that happens to us spiritually. Like that when that happens to like the this beautiful thing that Jesus invites us into, this new life that he's come to give us, like, like paid the price, all the things we were declaring in the songs we were singing tonight. And then see like this moment where like like Jesus makes this epic claim about what he came to do for us. If you read in John 10, in John 10, 10, he says these beautiful words. He he's confronting what the enemy wants to do in our life. So the thief, he's talking about Satan, he says, the thief comes only to kill and steal and destroy. That's what the enemy wants to do to you. Wants to take you out. Because he hates God and hates that God loves you, so he wants to destroy you. But Jesus is like, I've come to do something else. He says, I've come that they may have life and have it to the full. And so I just like, you don't have to answer this. This is one of those rhetorical questions, but have you experienced some of that reality of what Jesus is talking about in your story so far? Like this idea that He's come to give you life to the Have you Have you had moments of that where you're like you, you're like, Jesus, I see what you want to do with me. I I got a glimpse of it, I have an understanding. Like, like you've changed me, you've transformed me, you've forgiven me, you you've put a desire in me. Have you experienced that to some degree? Hopefully, yeah? Like, and I just want you to say, like, how beautiful is that? And yet here's the reality: none of us have experienced that in its completion. Because we're still a work in progress. And so, what's beautiful and exciting about that is that there's more for us. Like, he's come to give us life to the full, but we haven't arrived yet, which means we're in process, which means there's more for us to grow up into as we follow him and walk with him and chase him into that. And so, what I want to do tonight is kind of like talk, like how how what how does that work? Like, what does it look like to grow up and to continue on that journey so that we don't get stuck? Right? So that we're not kind of like moving into this age of life, and then you find yourself in your mid-20s and you're wearing like your old Letterman jacket, and everyone's like, you're weird. You know, and you're like, no, like I like how do we continue this journey of growing into more of the life God has for us? And so to chase after us, I want to look at something that Paul writes about love. It's the it's the passage that we just looked at that Trey read for us, but I want to put it in its broader context. So if you have your Bible still open, 1 Corinthians 13, we're gonna dive in and look at that. And I want you to see the point of what Paul's talking here, because I think for many of us, this is a familiar passage, right? Like, how many of you have ever been to a wedding and this was the passage that was read? Yep. Okay, yeah, for sure. And that's appropriate, that's a beautiful application for what this is, but that's not the limitation of what this passage is. Like, like, yeah, that's a great thing to apply in a marital relationship. Someone's getting married this year, so yeah, like take notes, right? I'm looking at you, yeah, right, take notes, yeah. Um, but that's not the limitation of the application. Because this is something that's meant to be lived out amongst all of us and how we interact with one another. And I want you to see why Paul puts this here in his letter, because he's writing to a church called the Corinthians, and if you know anything about this specific church in the first century, they were crazy gifted. Like God's spirit was just at work in this church. A lot of supernatural and sign and power gifts were at work in this church, and they were super immature. And so, Paul, if you if you ever want to see like a pastoral letter that's kind of like 1 Corinthians, because he's having to correct them and call them out on stuff. And so in his letter, he's writing them, and in chapter 12, what he's just done is described how every single one of us has a gift of some sort that's meant to be used for the benefit of the church for other Christians around us. But he's wanting them to begin to understand that the gift is not the definition of maturity. Like the gift matters, but that's not the definition. And so he actually ends the chapter in 12 with these words, and he says, Yet I will show you the most excellent way. And then he begins chapter 13, and so this is what we're going to dive into. And so look at what he says. He says, If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I'm only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship, that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. So now catch those things that Paul just uses as illustration of things. Would you say doing those things are good things? Like, yeah, like like to like to have those abilities or those gifts. But what he's saying is if love isn't the bedrock or the motivation for those things, then those things are literally nothing. The Greek word udis is what he's using there. And that that that guess what it means? Nothing. And so what he's saying is if you could do all these incredible things and you have all this ability and the and the spiritual power of God has been given to you, but love is not the baseline and the foundation of your life, then not only do you gain nothing, you are nothing. And so now he starts with this I want to show you the most excellent way. And so then he goes into this passage that we just looked at, and he begins to define what love is. And this is really a beautiful piece of scripture here because this is Paul telling us you want to know what love is, this is what love is. And I think this is such an important thing for our time and our season, especially in the culture that we live in, because I think we're really confused culturally about what love is. Like, so much so that our culture defines love. Love equals love. And when you define a word by a word, you've said nothing meaningful, which means you can let it mean anything you want. How scary is that? Because somebody could take that definition, and I define love as beating you with a club. Love is love. Like that's stupid, right? But that's like the implication of not having a strong, clear definition. And here it is. This is the definition of love. Whether it agrees with culture or not, if you want to understand what love is, this is it. And so Paul begins to tell us this, and he says, Love is patient, and love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Don't miss that. That is such an important thing for our culture, misses this. That if truth is not in the equation, it is not love. That for love to be real, it can't delight in what is evil or against what God's design is for life. It has to be what is truth. And the way we discover what truth is, is we look to Jesus. Right? And so sometimes we can be heavy-handed in how we wield truth, which is why we need to do it in love, because love is patient and kind and those things, but we can't miss the importance of truth in the equation. So love does not delight in evil, it rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. So here's Paul wanting them to understand all these beautiful giftedness things that exist, but if there's not this foundation of love, it doesn't matter. And then he continues, right? So often this is what we'll use in a wedding. All right, go. Happy life. I hope it works out for you, right? But there's a deeper context that Paul's writing, and so he goes on. And he says, But where there are prophecies, they will cease. Where are the where there are tongues, they will be stilled. Where there is knowledge, it will pass away. And he's talking about three very specific, like supernatural gifts, like so prophecy, the ability to help understand or explain what God is God has for a person's life. Tongues, it's that supernatural ability to speak, like he so he said, like in the tongues of angels. So there's a prayer tongue that's just personal and private, but sometimes there's a tongue that's then interpreted and it's a word from God for his church. Powerful stuff. Knowledge. That's like God gives you insight into something and you're able to speak to it. Incredible things, but look at what he's saying. Those spectacular things will one day cease. And here's why. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. That there will come a day when we experience what he's calling completeness, where we're in God's presence, where where knowledge is like we have all the information we need, that day is coming. We're not there yet. So we don't have that completeness, that perfection of understanding. So in the absence of that time, we need spirit-empowered people to help fill in the gaps along the way. But what's crazy is it's easy for us to get taken with those gifts and think those gifts make us super mature. If you've been gifted in that way, just know there's a shelf life on that gift because someday we won't need that gift. So hold it humbly and faithfully, but know it doesn't define who you are. Does that make sense? Because there will come a day where we won't need prophets, because we're there. We're with him in glory, and heaven is coming earth and the new creation, right? There's a day where we won't need special knowledge because it's like we're with him. All those things will be so like the important things now, but we'll see their fulfillment. And so greatness is not defined by your giftedness. Greatness is defined by how you use your giftedness for others. And so these are things that Paul's really trying to help flesh out and spell out. And then he goes on in verse 11. He goes, When I was a child, I talked like a child, and I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood beyond me. And so Paul's talking about this is really important. He's just defined what love is, and then he's helping them understand once upon a time there was living like a child, being childish and thinking like a child, but the goal is to grow up into adulthood and becoming mature. So there's this process that we're supposed to be walking in. And love is a key part of that, and we'll come back to that in a moment. But I just want you to catch the overall scope of what he's writing here. He goes, for now we see in a reflection as in a mirror, then we will shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. Like there's this beautiful day that's coming where we'll have a complete understanding of God and ourselves. Like, have you wrestled to fully understand yourself? Like, has you don't have to raise your hand. It's a person have you ever just said, like, why am I the way I am? If you had a friend say that to you, that's not like you just say, look at yourself, right? Right? But but if you're like wrestle that cause because we're in this like process, like rebellion race, broken humanity, being redeemed, re being restored. We've been set free from the consequence of sin. We're now learning to grow in transformation to be free from the power of sin. One day we'll be free from the presence of sin. So all the hangups will be gone. All the things that we struggle with, that's a beautiful day. And in that day, we'll fully understand who we are because we'll be in the image of the one who we are created. But right now we're in transition and process. And so, what does it look like to grow more fully towards that day? And so this is like, okay, so to put these childish things behind us and continue to grow forward. And so then he wraps up the chapter. He goes, Now these three remain. So regardless of what maturity looks like or how much you grow towards that completion, these three will always remain faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love. So faith will always be a part of our story. Because faith is trust. And the more fully I see God, the greater my trust in Him is. So faith is not the absence of knowledge, faith increases in knowledge. So your faith can only grow stronger the more you understand something. So someday we'll have the ultimate faith because we're with him in that way. And there's a sense of hope, right? Hope of what God's doing in our life now, and hope of what that day is. And then there'll be an eternal hope because it's like I'm with you forever, I'm secure, nothing will ever take this away. And then I will always have love because love is what we are created for to be in and be like. And so here's Paul. So I wanted to spend a lot of time framing this to get to a single idea to chase after with you tonight. How do you know you are growing up? Like physically, it's kind of easy, right? Eat, drink, sleep. Tomorrow you'll be a little bit more bigger, taller, older. And I know some of you kind of peaked, now it's just a downhill. Like when you hit 25, that's the cap, and then it's just a slow descent, right? But like, but like you don't like a little kid, you don't really have to like, okay, grow, and they're like, uh, like, no, it just happens. But that's not the case spiritually. So spiritually, how do we know we are growing up? And we look at what Paul's writing here to the Corinthians, like, the Corinthians, we can be a lot like them in some ways if we're not careful. Like, we can measure maturity by how. How gifted we are. And Here Lang, you've been gifted. Whether you know what your gift is or not, you've been gifted. If you've been paying attention to the teachings, if you go to Rocky Peak or Main Church, you know that we've been talking about this, right? But the gift is not the mark of maturity. The gift is something else that's been given, and you wield the gift better by how mature you become. And the other thing is that you're not like maturity is not measured by how many spiritual things you're doing. A mature person will do spiritual things, but doing spiritual things is not a mark of maturity in and of itself. Because this is what Paul just said. If I speak in the tongues of angels, if I do all these things, but I do not have what? Love, it means nothing. And so the reality is that maturity has far more to do with your character than it does with your gifting. And it's measured by how you are being transformed by the work of the Holy Spirit to become more like Jesus and to love. And so you were like, okay, how do I know if I'm growing up? A great question to ask is, well, am I growing in these things called love? And so here's Paul challenging this thinking that the Corinthians had by taking us to what he calls the most excellent way, which is love. And after he describes what love is, he talks about growing up from childish things into maturity. And so it's just beautiful framework that he gives us. So again, how do you know you're growing up? So let me ask a question What's the difference between a child and an adult when it comes to maturity? Just kind of think about that.

unknown 23:38

Right?

SPEAKER_01 23:38

So if you how many of you, like there's little kids that you know in your life and they're kind of running, like this weekend it was great. I was out on the patio, all the services, you saw these kids running around and you know, trying to like steal donuts. They're not stealing, they're free, but you know. And then you see adults walking around. But how do you know the difference between their maturity? Because it's more than just age. Can I tell you the first time I felt like an adult was when I was around 30 years old. Which sounds weird, right? But but um we were driving as a family, brand new young family. So we're driving in the mountains, we're coming back from a camp, and so it's me, it's my wife Christy, our oldest daughter, Indy, she's in the back, she's just this little little in the back car seat, and we're driving down the mountain and we have a blowout. And so that's a big deal. If you've ever experienced that, I don't know if you have or not, but like the and and it's like you we heard it, like it's just this deep gurgling rumble kind of thing. We're like, whoa, and I realize like I have to pull over and I have to deal with this. And I'm the youngest in my family, so that might have been why I matured late, because it's like there was always someone else to do it, right? Where older siblings maybe you have an advantage, I don't know, some of you, but like like it was just one of those things, it's like I suddenly realized in the moment I have to deal with this. And so I pull the car over, I pop the back, and I began to deal with the blowout, and it was foul and it stunk because it was my daughter's diaper. That's the blowout I'm talking about, right? Like we're driving, all of a sudden we hear this rumble from the back seat, and I look at Christy and we're like, we know what that is, we've heard that. It's a scary sound, it's not normal. We know what is going on, right? And so, like, I I get her out of her car seat, and immediately I feel the wet. Because like a blowout, you do you guys know what a blowout is on a diaper? It's the diaper is meant to contain it. So when it doesn't contain it, that's a blowout. And it usually goes out the sides or up the back, depending on how intense the blowout was. This was like level five DEF CON blow like like so. I'm already like, I'm already in it. And I get to the back and I have the back popped, and I put her down, and I'm starting to change the diaper, and it's like it's into my fingernails, and it's like it's the nasty yellowish kind when you're like, what were we feeding you? Like it's it's bad. And I remember as I'm standing there, I'm like, no one's coming. Like, I can't call my mom or my dad. Like, like, I need Christy to like watch the road because we're like, like, this is it. This is my job. I have arrived. I am a man. That was like the way it's just this weird moment where I'm like, okay. And so we got her cleaned up and put everything in a plastic bag, and then you know, you can only get so much off on it with a wipe, but you do your best, and then the whole ride home, you're like, you know, and but like there was something in that moment that I had to step up into something. Because that's what going from being a child to being an adult required in that moment. That's a picture of it, right? And so, what does that look like? Because I want to so let me suggest a couple of things what it looks like to grow up from childhood into adulthood. And here's the first idea is that you're beginning or you have, you're taking ownership for your life in the best sense possible of what I mean by ownership. So there's this, there's this uh quote, I am the captain of my soul. I don't mean it like that. Like a poet named Henley. You can read that if you want. It's pretty like if there is no God, good luck, if that's your thing you're going. So when I say like owning your life, I mean it in the sense of taking responsibility for yourself. That's what I mean. A child doesn't do that. A child doesn't take responsibility for themselves. Because other people are responsible for the child, right? Can you imagine like with the the blowout and the car pulls over and like this little nine-month-old in the back, I'm like, deal with that kid. Like she like, what was she know to do, right? She she can't, because she's a child. I'm the adult, that's the difference. I'm taking responsibility, not for just for myself, but for her in that moment, right? And in doing this, we begin to grow up because a child, a child kind of makes excuses like this. A child will say, Well, that's not my job. Older siblings, you understand this dynamic if you have younger siblings, because you've started to maybe age into some maturity and responsibility, and you see the younger ones like, Well, that's not my job. It's like we share the bathroom, clean it up. Not saying I know that from context of having two daughters to share a bathroom, but sometimes, who's to say? Right? But like there's these things, right? Like you understand. A child will not take responsibility because that's someone else's job. Here's another definition of a child. A child doesn't take responsibility because they'll say, That's not my fault. So when a child does something, well, you made me if you didn't. Now, can you think of adults who often do that? They'll never take ownership for mistakes because they blame someone else. That's somebody who hasn't grown up. And so that's the difference between like a child and adult. An adult is learning to take responsibility for themselves, and something beautiful that you begin to happen, like so. This other idea, once you begin to take responsibility for yourself, you discover an incredible ability. You can begin to bring yourself, because you're taking responsibility for yourself, into alignment with Jesus. You can begin to say, Jesus, here I am, as best as I understand myself, no more excuses. This is you calling me to follow you, to be your disciple. I'm gonna do my best to understand what that means, but I am bringing me to you. So parents aren't bringing me to church anymore. Right? Like parents, like you're not coming for the donuts, right? Whatever it is. Like, like I'm pursuing you. I want the life that you have for me. And only someone who is appropriately owning their life can truly surrender their life. Like I remember having this conversation with my girls when they were real little. Like, hey, we are a Christian family, and this is what we believe, but there will come a point in your life where you have to decide if this is your thing, not simply our thing. You have to decide for yourself. Will I take responsibility and chase Jesus? Right? And so that's a that's a distinction of this. And if something happens when we begin to do that, when we begin to appropriately own our life and then surrender our life to Jesus, that's when you begin to grow up, because that's when you actually start living for something greater than yourself. Because he begins to lead you into something that's more than just you and what's about you. And so owning your life in order to surrender it feels odd because it can almost seem like a paradox. Like, why would I own my life just to surrender it? And I just say simply because that's what Jesus says to do. Like, read what Jesus says in Matthew 16, 25, right? Anyone who wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. And so somehow that's the path to life. Jesus, here I am, I surrender. And somehow that puts us on the path into the fullness of life He wants to give us. And the reason a child can't do that, or the reason that people who get stuck spiritually can't grow beyond where they are is because they're often self-obsessed. And self-obsessed people will never grow up into something greater than themselves because they're stuck on themselves. They're wearing a Sletterman jacket, they're 28 years old, and they think they're still in high school. And it's like, bro, I love you. Grow up. Like, step into what's next, what God has for you. And so, what does it look like to do this, to grow up from childhood into adulthood? And so now I want to go back to what Paul writes about this because here's the thing: this idea of love that he's talking about, that requires context with others. Because you can't grow up unless you're in community with other people, because we are created to do life with one another. Because love needs an outlet to express itself. Does that make sense? So if you're going to learn to be a lover, you need an object or a beloved. And I'm not talking about romance, I'm just talking about learning to love. So love cannot grow unless there is that which is being loved. And we are called to grow in love by loving who? God and one another. And so I want to like go back to 1 Corinthians 13. So can we bring that up again? Okay, so look, look at this now in that framework of that context. If I'm going to grow, then love needs to have a context in which it does. So love is patient. With whom are you being patient right now? Because you can just say, hey, love is patient. That's cool. Great. With whom are you being patient? Because that's demonstration of love at work in your life. Love is kind. With whom are you being kind? Right? Like you need someone to be kind to. So, with like, where is that happening? Uh, it does not envy. Ooh. Where are you learning to celebrate someone instead of saying, I want what they have? This is where Instagram's social media can be very dangerous. And if you're looking at other people's lives and you're feeling less or you're feeling envious, this is what love would do. God, would you bless them and thank you that you're doing something cool in their life? Unless it's a filter, then help them find real life. Right? So it does not envy, it does not boast. Growing in love, you're not talking about yourself because you're not stuck on yourself. Which means God can trust you with greatness because it won't destroy you. So you're not boasting, right? Love is not proud. Man, you wanna you wanna stop growing, get arrogant. You wanna you wanna grow beyond where you're at, be humble and take the low path. That's what Jesus modeled for us, right? He washed his disciples' feet. He says, You'll do the same, right? Like, this is what love looks like to grow. It does not dishonor others. Man, this is hard, especially when you disagree with someone. Especially when somebody's upset you or something's gone on, right? Because we can all be petty, let's just be honest, right? But like, how do I disagree and still love you? Well, one of the ways I do that is by not dishonoring you. So when this is all happening, everyone's talking about someone, I'm like, I'm just not gonna engage in that. I'm gonna choose a different thing. That's what an adult is beginning to do who's learning to love. It keeps, oh sorry, it's not self-seeking. So, like, I used to always talk about this. Growing up in my family, we had a Ford Pinto. That was our family car. Pintos were designed with four seats. I was the fifth member of the family. So that meant I sat back seat middle hump, literally. That was my childhood growing up. And I didn't have a choice because I was the youngest, right? But like, like as I got older and I was hanging out with friends, then it was suddenly like, hey, I can have shotgun. And so, like, you know, like I don't know if you're hanging out with friends, and is that still a thing? Does shotgun still exist? Like you call it, like whoever calls it first gets it, right? Yeah. So one of the things that I started doing in my 20s, because I realized, Joel, you're being self-seeking, is I would just walk out to the parking lot with friends, everyone's calling shotgun, and I go backseat middle. Because I was trying to not be that. I was trying to like show me a different way. Like, what does it look like to not be self-seeking, right? It's not easily angered. Man, if there's anger in your life, the the issue isn't to not have anger, it's to not let anger control you. And to learn how to be angry in a way that's good and allow love to shape what you do with that, right? So but you like you say not people help you do this? People help you grow in these things. It keeps no record of wrongs. Oh my goodness. How many of you have scorecards with friends in your life? You know what I mean by scorecard? Well, they did this and they did that, and then you know, like, boom. Like, listen, there's a healthy boundary. Like, if you just have a flaky friend, it's okay to be like, okay, like I'm not gonna pursue anymore because you just keep dropping the ball, but I'm not begrudging that, I'm just like drawing a healthy boundary. But it's a different thing when you're like having a grudge with someone. But if you're growing in love, like you're keeping no record of wrong. And again, we come back to this love does not delight in evil, but it rejoices with the truth. So, what does that look like in relationship with one another? Like when we see somebody walking down a path that's not what God wants, do we love them enough to say something? Even if they don't like it. Because it's the truth and we want to look out for them. Love does not affirm brokenness. Love calls to life and truth. Now we gotta learn to do it well, patient, kind, and all that, but to not say anything. Could you imagine like if you saw your friend just walking towards a cliff and you're like, I just don't want to offend them? Like we say, how stupid is that? Like, say something, right? Like, like speak to them if you love them. So why would we not apply that to other things? Well, they might not like what I say, they they may not want to be my friend anymore. That's their choice. Your choice is love. So are you willing to love, even if it has a consequence? Because love, what? Protects. Which means part of loving one another in this group, in this church, in this room, is that we're looking out for each other. And it always trusts, and it always hopes, and it always perseveres. Love never fails. Now, let me ask you does that sound easy or hard? Yeah. It takes some growing up to learn to do that. And yet, here's the incredible thing. God knows we can do that because he created us for it, which means if we let him lead us, we can learn to do that. How many of you would just like to be able to do this better? Okay, three of you. That's awesome. This talk is for you. Right, yeah. And here's the cool thing: if you want to learn to become a person who can do this, then you invite him to you take responsibility for yourself and you come to him and say, Teach me this. Lord, show me how to do this. And then don't be surprised. If you're asking for help with patience, if he brings that person into your life. Because that's the context now in which I'm gonna grow in love. I'm like, no, not them. We all have those people, right? Like, oh my gosh. There's just, okay, I'm gonna get in trouble. Stop talking. But it's like, Lord, here's a great opportunity for me to learn to love. And so when you when you really unpack it in this context, right, like love is not some abstract concept, right? Like it's it's not some romantic ideal. Like love, when we really see this, it's an actual way of interacting with others in real life in ways that matter. And so growing up into being able to do that is a partnership with God and with others. Because we are the context in which we get to grow up together, which is the beautiful thing about being church. Because church is our context. Church is not the building, right? Church is not this beautiful campus we've been entrusted with. We are church. And so if we're gonna grow in love, it means we're connected with one another and we're in context with one another. And so I want to I want to unpack a little bit about like what it means to be church together in our time left and kind of talk about like I'm gonna call it our role and your role. And when I say our role, I mean like those who have been entrusted as leaders in the church. So, what is our role to help you grow or to take responsibility? And then what is your role? Does that framework make sense? I realize I gave you blank pieces of paper, so you can still write things down if you want. Someone was doodling, it was a beautiful picture. I like it. But let's talk about our role, and I mean like the leadership of the church. So this is like Dre's responsibility with this ministry, like as one of the pastors and leaders of this church, and I would say this is true of any church, not just ours, but here would be our role. It's to create places where you can grow, connect, and serve. I can't grow you. So if you come to me and say, Joel, help me grow up, I'll be like, I I I would love, believe me, I would love to. But I can't do that for you. Only God can do that. But I can help facilitate it by providing you places where that can happen, right? And so one of the ways that we do that is like this thing right here that we're doing, like by by teaching, by looking at this, the God's word, and and saying, okay, are you in alignment? What is it like to follow that? So that's one of the ways that we do that. But also put you in a context where you can connect with other people, right? So our PYA is so much more than just Sunday nights. Like we're a part of a larger church and we have our small groups, our life groups are what we call them. And so one of the ways that we grow together is by being in community with one another. There's that's a formal way, but in an informal way, it's just hanging out with people that are chasing Jesus that you call your friends, and being intentional. Like having meaningful conversations. It's okay. Like, I'm a nerd, so I love talking about nerd stuff, but like I also need to have real conversation with my friends too, right? And so, like, that's one of the ways. And then to serve, because love is an outlet to something. So, yeah, we want to pour into you. God wants to pour into you, but it's for a purpose that you flow out towards others. And one of the ways you stop growing is that you just take in and you never give up. That's like how it just kind of becomes stagnant. But the way, like, if you're like, God, do God, fill me, give me more of you. He's like, then give away what I've already given you. Like, let it flow out so I can fill you with something new. And when you begin to really get into that, that's like so that that's just like a simplistic snapshot of like what our role is. So now let me talk about your role. Two ideas. Here's the first one. Your role is you gotta step in. You gotta step into the context, you gotta step into the community. Because growth is not simply a passive endeavor, it requires participation. And the reason we don't always like that is because people are messy. I'm messy, and so like I'm a very introverted personality, and so often I just don't want to be bothered. Guess what that is? That's not love, that's Joel acting like a child. Because love is not self-seeking, right? And so, like, e like introversion doesn't excuse me from growing in love. And so, like, Lord, trust me that I have enough energy in my temperament to love the way you call me to, and if I actually step into those moments, I'll experience a greater power in my life because of what you're doing. Right? But that like it's this participating in what we're doing. Um, I always love this, like, how many of you like guacamole? Okay, have you ever bought an avocado and you go to get it, eat it, or cut it up, and it's just not ready? Like it's just too, it's too, uh? Yeah. Do you know how you help an avocado ripen? It's on the picture. You put it with an apple. Because apples give off a chemical. I think it's ethylene something. I don't know what it's like. You can fact check this, right? But the apple gives off a chemical that helps other fruits like avocados ripen.

unknown 43:37

Right?

SPEAKER_01 43:38

And so if you ever have avocados that you're like, oh, these aren't ripe enough, put them in a bag with an apple, and in a day or so that avocado will ripen a lot faster. It's like, you know, it's science. I don't know, whatever. Um but like this is kind of like true for us with community. Like some of you are avocados, and God wants to make some sweet guacamole. Holy, but you're just stuck. So get around some apples. Like find some people that are farther down the road, or for whatever reason, just a little bit more mature, and walk with them and let them rub off on you. And see what God wants to do. Some of you, like, here's the reality, we're all both, right? Like, so we're in this process, right? But some of you, like, like God, like you, you're mature and you're not cocky or arrogant. You just understand that God has brought you to a certain level of maturity, and that comes with a responsibility. So participate in the church in some way and say, how do I help the avocados become sweet guacamole? You know, like it's just like you want to think, think about this. Maybe some of you know this already in your friendships, right? It's like some of you have an apple in your life. Thank them later. You just say, like, I just want you to know, like, you're an apple, bro. Bist bump. I don't know. Like, whatever, like, but just like be grateful for that. But like, what a mistake if we just kind of like chose to stay where we're at. Like the Proverbs, I love this. You can write these down and look at them later. Proverbs 27, 19 is iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Like we help each other grow. Proverbs 13, 20, the first part says, He who walks with the wise grows wise. So you gotta step into those places around you where God wants to help you grow. So who do you know that's really good at being patient if you're struggling with that? Just be with them. Hey, how do you how do you put up with them? Seriously. Who do you know that like anger doesn't control them and that's something that's that's in your life? Like, can you help me help me understand what God's doing with your story? Like, who do you see that's wrestling with something in faithfulness, but they want the truth? So can you can you help me understand what that looks like in your story? Because I want to grow on that too. What a beautiful thing that we can help each other do that. But then another part of your role is this your role is to not simply step in, but it's now to step up. It's to step up to the opportunities that are all around you and love people. And again, I don't mean that as some esoteric idea. I'm talking about practical, what does it look like to love people around you? And one of the best ways to do that is to say, what are the opportunities within the context I'm in? To serve, that's a beautiful way to love people. And then when I say serve, I mean that both like formal ways. So like here in RPWay, like like the way this man is structured, there's ways to volunteer and serve and to help make this happen for people, but there's informal ways to serve people too. So you just like like you look around and say, what are the needs around me? So here's a great question to ask as you're seeking to grow up and mature, especially in this area of love, is to just ask God, hey, what does love look like right where I'm at? What does love look like in my family right now? What does love look like with my friends? What does love look like with this specific person? What does love look like at my work? What does love look like within the church I'm in? And let God begin to stir and show something. And if God shows something, embrace that because he's giving you an opportunity to grow up into more of who he's called you to be. And it's this beautiful thing that he gives us. And so when you think about church, like here's here's one of my favorite definitions of church. Church is a community of people who are chasing after Jesus in order to grow up together. Right? So the hope is that over time, as we're chasing Jesus, we're all growing up and becoming more of who he said he is. So when we think about church, like so Rocky Peak is our is our main church that oversees this ministry. And some of you are part of our church, some of you aren't. So just let me caveat that for a minute. But here's what I want you to know our church, Rocky Peak, is for you. Like you can be a part of that. Like you're not limited to just like showing up every once in a while. Like you can be a part of this. Now, if you have a home church, we never want to like take you away. Like what we would say is anything God's doing through this ministry here, take that back and put it into your church that you're a part of. But like you're you're a part of this larger church, like, so you're invited to step up and step into those things. But here's where I'd say RPYA is especially for you in this season.

unknown 48:12

Right?

SPEAKER_01 48:12

So, like Dre said, it's like for 18 to 25 years old. So, within our larger church, which is for you, this is also especially for you. It's apply a place to help you grow in this stage and season of your life. So it was great when I was leading this in 2007 when like some of you weren't even a thing yet. Like it's fun now, because I worked with some students back then, and now I see them as adults, and it's just cool to see how they kept growing, right? Like they're they're not like we used to call the ministry back then, we call it soma, which is the Greek word for body because I thought it was cool, and Dre and no one thought it was cool, so that's why it's called RPYA. That's cool, it doesn't hurt. I'm alright. But um, but like none of them are like trying to sneak in to get back here because they've grown up, right? So they they've grown up beyond that season. But it's really neat. So at the end of this month, you will have an opportunity to embrace an incoming group of people that are stepping into the next season of life. And so here's what I would just like encourage and challenge you. How will you help them grow? Because this is for you, but it's also for them, so you're for one another. It's really neat. My youngest daughter, who is sitting in the room right now, we've just kind of been talking and she's getting ready to graduate high school, and she has loved her high school experience in our high school ministry. It's called Revolution. And our high school pastor that she had for the most of the time was Tim, and now we're transitioning to a guy named Trent. And so Tim's developing Trent to take the ministry. It's just beautiful to watch what's going on. But she's been saying over this last year, I'm kind of done with revolution. And it's not an indictment, it's she's not upset with it. She's just like, I think I'm ready for what's next. And I'm just told that is actually a compliment to the leaders of that ministry. Because they've done their job well to prepare you so that you're ready for what's next. And so I'm excited for her as she steps into this next season. But it would be very sad if two years from now, she's walking around this church campus wearing her revolution church merch and sneaking into the high school ministry and just being like, oh, it's cool. I'd be like, oh my gosh, you're one of them. But like she's growing up, right? And so the same thing for you. She's ready for what's next. And so our PYA is for you for now. But there will come a point when it's time for you to step in what's next. And so I just I want to let you know, one of the things that is next for you beyond this ministry, beyond the larger church that we have, is this thing called 2535. And it meets once a month. It meets on the final Friday of the month. And so as you're kind of getting to that tell end and you're like, okay, what's next for me? This is a place for you that we'll talk more about it this month to kind of invite those of you that are ready or at that stage. Like, hey, we'd love to welcome you into the next stage for you to grow into the next season that you're ready for. But as a church, again, that's our job, right? Is to create the places for you. Your job is to step up into those moments. And so here's where I want to land the plane with this. Regardless of the place, whether it's our church or your church or this ministry or it's time to move on into an older ministry, regardless, do you want to grow up? Do you want more of the life Jesus said he came to give us? Because honestly, if you don't want that, there's not a whole lot we can do for you. But if you want that, we want to walk with you in that. We want to help you grow up in that. And so if you want that, I just want to encourage you, you gotta get after it by stepping in and stepping up. Because growth is not a passive endeavor, it requires participation.