Walking It Out
Where truth meets real life—the good, the messy, and everything in between. Following Jesus isn’t always polished, and neither are these conversations.
Walking It Out
Sisterly Shenanigans And Spiritual Growth
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Two sisters use a question card game (Not Just Sundays) to talk honestly about faith, fear, and the ways God gets our attention in everyday life. We share stories about doubt, forgiveness, and healing, and we keep coming back to one hope-filled truth: God restores.
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Sisters, Faith, And A Conversation Game
SPEAKER_02Welcome back to Walking It Out. I have a really special guest here today. It's my best friend since the womb. My sister. I'm so excited that she's here. And because I know literally everything about her, I know you guys don't know everything about her, but we thought it would be fun to play not just Sundays. It's a conversational game. So this is the first time that I've ever used it. So this could totally flop. Like it could be pie. It could totally flop. We don't know. But we're all along for the ride. So the the idea of it is the first card is gonna be like icebreakers. Okay. We'll do a few of those. Okay. And then it just progressively gets more intense. Oh, cute. Yeah. So buckle up. It's gonna be great. So are you ready? I am so ready. All right, buckle up. Here we go. Do you want to draw the first? You know what? I think you should draw. You think I should draw? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Is this question for me or for you? Oh, I think you should ask me. Ask you. Yeah. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. All right.
Finding God In Nature And Parenting
SPEAKER_02When do you feel most connected to God? Oh. That's a good question. I'll just put these right here. That's a good one. See, we're starting off strong. Yeah, I feel like that's okay. Um, I feel most connected to God.
SPEAKER_01I think in nature. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like when you have no choice but to like you look out and everything like everything is just screams, Jesus. Yeah, I think that's my answer. Okay, you ready? I'm nervous, but we can do it. It'll be fine. Oh, what's something this week that helped you grow emotionally, mentally, or spiritually? Oh yeah, that's a loaded one. It is a loaded one. Can I yeah, yeah. You're like to visualize it. I'm like, she's a visual girly.
SPEAKER_01What's something this week that helped you grow? Um I feel like my son has helped me grow this week.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Um calling me out. Oh, he called me out. Um because I would say something, I said something negative about myself, and he's like, that's a lie from the enemy. Oh period, Asher. I'm like, okay, yeah, I need to work on that. Oh, that's good. So that's something that helped me growing like mentally this week. Yeah. And spiritually. And spiritually, yeah. It's crazy what our kids catch. Like, yeah, we just say things we don't realize that they're listening. Especially Asher's, how old will he be? He's nine, I'll be ten of the time. Yeah, he will call me out. Period. No chill. That's good though, because it means that he's confident enough in what he believes to be like, hey mom. Hey, get it together. Yeah, yeah. Practice in what you preach.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. Icebreaker, right? Yeah. Let's do a couple more. Okay.
Fear, Sermons, And Wake-Up Calls
SPEAKER_02Have you ever had a moment where it felt like God was speaking straight to you and what happened?
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Yes, of course. I think the most recent would be the Sunday sermon. Which Yeah. Yeah. This Sunday sermon was all about fear. And I that's definitely my hurdle in my walk with God is fear. I feel like I'm afraid of so many things. And um, Pastor Christian just laid it out this week. Like, why are you afraid? Like, don't you know who you are? Don't you know that you're a child of God? Don't you know that you have angel armies around you constantly? Um, and all things that I know in my head, and we talked about this in in the last podcast episode with Maddie, but like we we know the things, but we don't in our heart know the things, like trying to translate those two. Um, so yeah, I rolled up into church and was like, oh, it's just gonna be, you know, sermon, it's gonna be so incredible. And it was like, you're so fearful. And I was like, I know, Lord, I know. Um he airs out your dirty laundry, he does, and I love it because I'm like, yes, okay, so you are hearing me when I pray because you are speaking directly to me, and so it's like everything that I've been saying behind the scenes and talking to you about and crying out to you, you're like, here, you know, it's just another way that he talks to us.
SPEAKER_01So definitely, yeah, I agree. All right, this one's kind of kind of similar to that one.
SPEAKER_02Is it okay? A little bit. Has God ever used something ordinary to get your attention?
SPEAKER_01What was it?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I like that smile. Does that mean you thought of something right away? Whatever cut whenever like I hear something like that, it just brings me back to where I like had strayed a little bit from the faith. And um so my thing is cars, and I was driving all the time. And so I like never because I know exactly I never get pulled over. Like never, I've never gotten pulled over. Okay, during this season of like two months, I get pulled over. I kid you not, like five times. Like five times. Didn't you get tickets every time too? Uh I think four of them. Four. And one of them I was just sobbing. So the mayor, like the police officer was like, Okay, you gotta sign up for this. I don't know what's happening here, but I'm I gotta get a call. Woo! So that was something like he really used and was like, hey, still here. How about you stop and get the path that you're going and come back to me? And I was like, there's no way that this is a coincidence. Yeah, that's five times. So I feel like that would be the biggest thing where he was like, Hey, come back to me. Like, this is my favorite like testimony of your life. Like when I whenever I just think about like what God used to bring you back to him, I just makes me laugh so hard every time. So it's like it was so specific to you though, because like cars at that time was it was like your life. Like you were in the car scene, and oh yeah, I was deep you were deep in the car scene, and so he was like, I know what will get her attention. Just gonna have her get pulled over by every cop and Marion and uh Mr. Graphics. So good. Oh, that's so funny. Isn't I asked you that, right? Okay, I think so. Okay, one more icebreaker. Okay, one more. I think. Yeah, I feel like okay.
Movies, Prayer Habits, And Meeting Jesus
SPEAKER_02What movie or TV show really impacted you and why? Hmm.
SPEAKER_01Hmm. TV or TV show.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, controversial take, but I love the chosen. Come for me. Um I think that it obviously has things that are not biblical because it's a TV show and so things are dramatized, but so is any Christian movie um or show. So I really love The Chosen. I like being able to just have like a picture of what could have happened, but I think that you have to be really sound in your foundation to watch that show. Like you have to know the Bible so that you can know what's what's biblical and what's not. Another one is War Room. Oh, that's a good one. That one is really good. Um, War Room is Priscilla Shire, right? Yeah. Yep. And the whole thing is she goes and her husband is wild and cheating on her and doing all sorts of crazy stuff. And instead of just leaving him and running away, she gets a room and she just covers it in prayer and just goes to town. And like I implemented that in my own life, and it literally has changed my life. Um, that was one of the stipulations of when we were like looking for houses. I was like, I need a room that I can have a space to go to war and pray. And so that one's really good as well.
SPEAKER_01All right. Oh no, not the laugh.
SPEAKER_02If Jesus walked in the room right now, what would you do? I don't even know. Like, it's take me with you, please. This world is wild and like I'm just hanging out with you guys, sitting down. What would you do? I don't know. I know. How do you even answer this question? Because it's like I would be so excited to like see him, but also a little terrified, but also like I'm not like worthy of being in your presence right now. A roller coaster. Oh my god, oh no!
SPEAKER_01I feel like, oh, oh, oh but like it would be really cool.
SPEAKER_02I feel like I would hook him.
SPEAKER_01I feel like I would have come.
SPEAKER_02That's the final answer. I feel like I don't up a level. Here we go. What's oh no, don't be laughing like that. What's something you prayed for in one season that you wouldn't pray for now?
SPEAKER_01Oh we're just jumping into it.
SPEAKER_02What is one thing that I prayed for in another season that I wouldn't pray for now?
SPEAKER_01It's hard. It is hard. Oh the first thing that pops in my mind is patience, which is so funny.
SPEAKER_02Cause I know that when you pray for patience, it's a it's a prayer for sure. Because you'll get everything that will make you be patient. And um I don't know why that's popping in my brain, but um trying to think like what I have. I mean the easy the easy answer is more babies. We're done having babies. There was a season I was fervently like, please Lord, more children, and now I'm like, no, we're good there on that front.
SPEAKER_01That's like the easy answer. I don't I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It is because it's like when patience came into my mind, my first reaction is like, I don't feel like I'm in a space to endure what comes with creating patience. Yeah. Does that make sense? Like 100%. When you pray for the gift for like the fruit of the spirit, which it's all a fruit of the spirit, but when you pray to like increase in self-control or increase in patience, it's like, okay, well, the only way that you can do that is through practice. Um, just like, you know, if you pray to get better at basketball or you want to get better at basketball, the only way to do that is to go through the hard training and the you know, the summer camps and all the things. And so I don't know. I'm either I think I'm gonna stick with patience. I feel like I've gotten to a good place where when the Lord tells me to wait, it's always hard to wait because we're humans. Yeah. Like waiting isn't fun, but I'm a lot better at waiting intentionally now. Like when I used to pray for patience for in the waiting and stuff, it was like because I couldn't even be intentional about waiting. But I feel like now I'm better than I was. I have not arrived, but I am better than I was. So final answer, patience. Sorry, that was a hard one. Okay, these are hard because it's like you have to think of it on the spot. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I agree. Oh no, not the hiding
Insecurity, Self-Forgiveness, And Grace
SPEAKER_02the face. The Lord picked this one just oh goodness gracious. What's an old insecurity that God has started breaking off your life?
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's so good. We're getting so deep. It's there's so many.
SPEAKER_02Insecurity. Can I look at it again? Yeah, so sorry. I'll just start handing them to you. Yeah. Because I'm like, I can hear the words, but it just doesn't like you know, right? Yeah. Old insecure. That I'm a burden to people. I feel like that he's really trying to break that off. Yeah. Because like it's I mean, it has taken over my life. I don't really like to like socialize much because I just feel like I'm a burden to people. Yeah. Or people don't like me. And so he's like, stop that. Yeah. You exist. Um I chose you to do that. You do exist. You know what I mean? Like, like you're a child of God. I'm a child of God. And so, yeah, like own it and like put yourself out there and actually have friendships. Yeah. Um, because we can't do it by ourselves. No. So yeah. I think that was my final answer. Yeah. Well, I think like some someone told me once, I don't know who was or when, or if I read it somewhere, but if you're walking into a room, it's because God ordained you to be there. Oh, that's really good. So, like, you're not gonna end up somewhere that you're not supposed to be if you're you know, obviously walking in the in the way of the Lord, but you are. And so if God puts you in a room with people and you're like, I should not be here, it's like, well, actually, no, you should because God ordained for you to be there. Yeah. And um, yeah, I've definitely seen this in you. Like, you're you're put in a way of like God is fit like healing that in you, like he's putting you in spaces, he's surrounding you with women who are speaking life into you. He's um trusting you with bigger assignments because he's like, Hey, like I have put things on your life and assignments on your life and callings on your life, and you can't live them out if you're not confident in who you are in him. Yeah, it goes back to like being bold. Yeah. And it's not your it's never our strength. You know, it's like the boldness comes from understanding who you are in him. Yeah. You are and your child god. Yeah, you are. You are the full authority, okay? Stomp on the head of that surfing, you trample on the Satan's head, okay. The Satan on Satan's head, whatever. Next nervous again. All right, these are so good. These are really, really good. I love it. No, this is good.
SPEAKER_01What do you need to forgive yourself for? Oh. What do I need to forgive myself for? I constantly um yeah. I constantly, I was trying to decide if I should actually say this or not, but I'm gonna do it. Um I beat myself up constantly about um the lifestyle that I lived before and what it produced. And the relationships that can't say in a way that's not like putting everything on blast.
SPEAKER_02But uh for the sins that I did that have consequences that like, yeah, God will forgive me for my sin and he restores them and he redeems them, but there are still consequences to that sin that I have to walk through every day, and they don't just affect me, they affect, you know, the people around me, and so um, yeah, it's a constant walking in forgiveness, like um, yeah, trying to forgive myself for that, but I don't think I don't think we can forgive ourselves by ourselves, like I think that comes from receiving forgiveness from the Lord, and so when I get in that space of like, uh, uh, like if I could go back, and I wouldn't change anything in theory, because that's how I found the Lord, you know, like that's how I found him is in that rock bottom moment. But when I get in those places, I have to be like, I'm forgiven by the Lord, and if the God of the universe, the creator of the world can forgive me, then I need to receive that forgiveness for myself 100%. So yeah, I think it's uh sometimes a daily thing, sometimes it it goes a little bit without me thinking about it, but I always have to come back to like okay, God, if you saw me and could forgive me in that, then I have to be able to receive that and not stay stuck there, yeah. Because the enemy would love for us to stay stuck in the sin and not see that we're redeemed and set free. So yeah, that's my answer.
SPEAKER_01That's really good though.
SPEAKER_02I feel like we all have a little bit of that, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, just forgiving ourselves of past mistakes, yeah, yeah. I know that before you come to Jesus thing, like looking back and all the debauchery, it's like ew, I did that. I did. You didn't all right.
SPEAKER_02Here we go. That was a neat one. Episode two, you guys are learning so much. So much. Oh I'll hand it to you, don't worry. I'm so sorry.
Big Curiosities About God And Death
SPEAKER_02Some people are auditory and some people are visual, visual. I'm so visual. You're a visual girly. All right, what's one thing you've always been curious about when it comes to God? Oh, there's so many. I have one in my head for you, so I'm I'll be curious to see if you know nothing.
SPEAKER_01No, can you tell me how you are? Who knows? You might pick it. One thing you've always been curious about when it comes to God. I feel like just like how he decides things.
SPEAKER_02Just like I don't know, I've always wondered you know, like the Adam and Eve thing happened, right? Yeah. Okay, why didn't he just like just start over? You know, like why I I mean I I feel like I've gotten that answer now, but still just to like understand it better and be like, what? Why didn't you just start over? Start over, we're all just you know, living out here living. Do you feel like you got an answer to that? I feel like I did. I feel like it was God's grace, you know, being like, I'm not gonna wipe you off the face of the planet and just restart. Yeah, like he still chose us in the ugliness, right? So it's like and I feel like that like him choosing us in the ugliness and the sin just shows how much he loves us and how full of grace he is, and um, how he just doesn't give up on us. Yeah. So I think that's a love story, like it really is. Yeah, and he um like he had the plan of redemption from that moment, like from the moment when he walked in the garden and and he is saying, like, gosh, I can't remember the exact scripture, but he prophesied like he tells about Jesus right after they sinned. So it's like yeah, he was like, Okay, here's my redemption plan, like it's in motion, it's happening. Yeah, I just think that's cool too. Like, he was like, Oh, okay, I'll take care of it.
SPEAKER_01It's fine.
SPEAKER_02I mean, not but like right. He's like, I got you know. Like I got this. Yeah. Even in our sin. Yeah. He's like, I don't know. It's like the greatest love. It is. And it's like and it's all throughout the Bible. You just see little snippets. Yeah. Like everywhere. And it's crazy that all of it just points to his redemption story. Like every single part of it points to that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's just amazing. So good. Yeah. Which one did you think I was gonna say? Death.
SPEAKER_02Dude. See, I there's that too. But I'm like, do I really want to talk about you know? Death is scary.
SPEAKER_01You going to glow I'm going to glory. But I still am worried.
SPEAKER_02What are you worried about? I don't know. I think who's gonna care for your children. I mean, there's is that how it is, or is it like just the process? It's the process and like I don't even know if I should say it.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna say it. I don't know if I should say it.
SPEAKER_02It's more just like I believe in Jesus, I believe in God, I believe in all the things, but there's just like this little part of me which I am working on. I'm working through it, okay. Working through it. We are working through it with the Lord. There's a little part of me that was like, there's just like nothing that could. But I know there is, but like also there's a little doubting part. So like me and the Lord have been working through that, yeah. And like he's been showing me all the evidence of like everything, and so he's building up that. Um, but yeah, so it's just it's a process. Well, Pastor Christian talked about that on Sunday too. Oh like he it was I thought it was crazy that he brought up like the fear of like not actually being saved. Yeah, that's what it is. Because in my heart, I'm like, yeah, what if I'm not actually saved and I'm actually gonna be tortured in hell for the rest of my gosh. I think, yeah, there's some but your work. That's where my brain goes through. No, but it's it's real. I mean, that's like this the podcast, right? Yeah, walking it out, like this is the real stuff that like people think about and go through. And Pastor Christian was spot on on Sunday of like you don't have to be afraid, like if you have confessed that Jesus is Lord and you are and you fully believe that in your heart, like that's it. Yeah, that's the that's the ticket in. Yeah, and like it's just the constant um, you know, fighting of our flesh and um making our thoughts obey Christ. Exactly. Like when you have those thoughts being like, here's the truth, like speaking truth to those thoughts, right? But you're not the only one that I know thinks about it or wonders it.
SPEAKER_01And I feel like I don't know if it's just like it's a scary thing to talk about, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because like as Christians, you know, we're I feel like you know, we're supposed to a hundred per be like a hundred percent positive of every like aspect of like the afterlife and everything. So like to talk about the doubt that and like the or the like doubt inside yourself of like, am I saved, am I not? Like, you know, I feel like it's not talked about a lot. Yeah, so I feel like it, yeah, it's yeah, well, with anything, any hidden fear, hidden sin, like I say to the girls all the time, like anything that's dark, bring it into the light. Because as long as it's dark, like Satan can torment you with it, like a hundred percent, he can drag you into the trenches with it just by it not being exposed to the light. And so as you you know keep exposing it to the light so that the Lord can keep ministering and using people to be like, hey girl, don't gotta be afraid. Yeah, you're sand sealed delivered, all right? Oh, and you will, yeah, you'll inherit the promise of God, which is eternity in heaven. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's good, really good. It's so good. It's the best. Unlimited feasting.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I'm here for it. Streets of gold, all the chocolate, and none of the calories, crying, no crying, and no oceans. Did you know that? Yes, there's no oceans, which is crazy. A lot of people don't know that. I'm just saying, no oceans, you know, it's supposed to be like uh, you know, everything is supposed to be good. So I'm trying the oceans. I have one. Just so we're all on the same page here. But I mean it makes sense.
SPEAKER_01It does.
SPEAKER_02All right, you turn already Lord let it let it be easy, but also
Seeing God As Father And Community
SPEAKER_02not. If God sent you one text right now, what do you hope it says? Get off your phone. So sorry. You've literally spent six hours crawling. Stop. Stop justifying by saying Instagram is sending you godly reels. Just get off your phone. Read your Bible. Um, what do I hope it says? That's what it said, yeah. I am going through a season right now where I am learning, which is wild because I am almost eight years into this thing. But I am learning that Jesus is my well, God, but you know, God is my dad. Like he's my dad, he's my father. And I I have been um just in prayer and stuff, and he literally, because I call him Lord. That's just like anytime I pray, anytime I talk to him, I don't say, hey Father God, I say Lord. Okay, and I did not realize. I'm giving you a story with every card. I am so false. Sorry, but I did not realize how often I called him Lord, and so had this like epiphany of like, I don't see him as a father, blah blah blah. And then I was praying and he was like, Stop calling me that. Call me father, like, call me dad. And I was like, Oh, he's like, I know you know I'm Lord, call me father for right now. Like, we're yes, I'm still Lord, I didn't change, but address me as father right now, call me dad.
SPEAKER_01Um, so I'd want him to send me a text and like hey daughter, I love you.
SPEAKER_02Aww, yeah, because that's the season I'm in right now. I'm learning a father's love for me, not just not just my creator and my lord and my master of my life, like my father's love.
SPEAKER_01That's really good. Yeah, yeah. That's my answer. I love that though. All right. Hmm. This is interesting. I don't know. What's some these things overs?
SPEAKER_02This is so good though. Okay, they're so deep. Okay, here for it. What's something your church or family did that shaped your view of faith?
SPEAKER_01Oh my yeah. I'm gonna have to think about those. That's okay. We can we can sit. We're not in a hurry. Shape your view of faith. I feel like my church like our church. I don't say my church, I think I was saying church.
SPEAKER_02Um it's just yours. I know I'm just gonna mine, it is mine, okay? Um I feel like our church, our church helped shape my view of faith by like showing me that I don't have to do it by myself. I feel like our church is very like we in each other's business. Shout out to you, Christian Life Church. We love ya. We love ya, we love ya. Um, but I feel like they've taught me like with faith, like it, you don't have to do it by yourself. You don't have to do your walk by yourself, and it's okay to like ask for help or you know, lean on someone. Um and then for family, I feel like you've shaped a lot of my face. Stop, I'll cry. You have it's like we've I'm gonna cry. I feel like we've done, I know we've obviously done our whole lives together, but like our walks have all been together, like we've been through a lot. A lot, yeah, you know, and so I feel like seeing you walk it out has helped strengthen my faith. Like seeing him move in your life has strengthened my faith, and like even just in like the kids and everything, like it's just been amazing, and I feel like that's helped me be like, yeah, like look at her faith. I can do that too. Like, like look how he is being um, how he is answering prayers for you, and just to see, like, yeah, like he does hear you, and so I feel like that really like pours over into my life, like, yeah, like he does hear, like there's the evidence of it, and so yeah. I love you, I love you. I think it's so interesting. Something people need to know is when I came back at my rock bottom, you were the one that pulled me into church. You remember that? Yeah, you were the one that called me up, was like, hey girl. Is that the women's thingy? Uh it's radiant now, but at the time it was um first assembly, and yeah, you called me, and it was like the day after I got back, I think. Or the maybe you got the night of, yeah. I think it was the night you got back, and that's the whole reason like I gave my life to Christ there, like truly, yeah. And then kind of when you went off the deep end, I was like, hey, wait, which time?
SPEAKER_01Was it the one I was so for real? Was it the one with Asher? Was it the one before? Well, I guess both. I didn't know which one we were talking about.
SPEAKER_02I was talking about the most recent. Okay, but I for I forgot about Asher too. Yeah. I'm like, you're the little four. I guess it would be, yeah, like just be like the way that God used us in those times. Like you were in a completely different place in your faith when you pulled me in. And then when you fell away, God was like, hey, pull her back in. Like go about the deep thing, yeah. It just is so cool the way that he does that. Yeah, it's like he knows that, like, even back when we didn't have the best relationship, which we could have a whole podcast episode just on that. We're gonna have to do it. We should have to know. Gonna have to debrief those. There was a lot of history. Okay. Well, just we never used to be this close. Okay, anyway, but like, it's like I remember what I was saying.
SPEAKER_01Period.
SPEAKER_02But like, I guess, no, he he knew that like we're always going to be there for each other. Yeah. And I feel like we're just always meant to do yeah. We've been through so much. Almost like we were like sisters.
SPEAKER_01Oh we were getting out.
SPEAKER_02No, but actually, for real, like we, I just want to say this to like encourage anybody else that might be going through this with their siblings. Like, we hated each other. Hated, and I mean capital H. Like, hated. We won't say who did what, but somebody did get abandoned almost in Iowa City in a car ride once. We won't say who did that. Wait, what? We'll talk about it later. Don't remember that. Oh, me either. But did I do that? No. So I I said we weren't saying who did it. It was supposed to be a mystery. We were not nice to each other. I was not nice to her, she was not nice to me, and we did not want to be in the same room together. There were things thrown, which is wild because we married brothers. We did, we didn't do that, we didn't like each other, but yet she was at every family gathering. Like, I couldn't get away from you, even if I wanted to. Seriously. Which was at the time very frustrating. I was like, I just want to go to Christmas, and I have to see full transparency. Can't even have an Easter egg hunt, you know? But all of a sudden, good. The Lord's so good because like there was a this is not about the cards, but I just think it's good. Like he I don't even remember how it happened, but you did you call me when? When we talked about just like how we got here, like what the root of our issues were. I think that was me. Um I remember it was in December specifically, and I was pregnant, and I just remember being like, God had been working on my heart, and it's like I just want a better relationship with my sister, like I just want us to be healthy, like I want to have her here. Like I like why why is there this this deep, like seated, deep or deep rooted like hostility towards her? And so yeah, like it was, and I'm like, when God revealed um it was you know, always being constant, like being in constant competition, like our mom, our mom kind of like made differences between us, and so like she kind of pinned us against each other. God rest your soul, but um, yeah, so after that, like calling and like talking about I think was the biggest thing. I think that was the big pivotal point, yeah, where we were like, let's be honest with each other, right? Like, let's have a real conversation for once in our lives, yeah. Instead of just trying to like brush and brush under the rug. Because we would go like two or three months, we'd be good, and then we'd have this big blowout fight, and we wouldn't talk for like six months. But it's just good because we I mean we have not had a blowout fight since we had that conversation. Oh, I mean, I have one in my dream the other night, but but we worked it out in the dream. In the dream. I love that phrase. We worked it out really quickly. Okay, it's been great. Is it your turn to ask me? I think so. Wait, is it? I think it is. I think so.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I'm just gonna text the person who pulled up real quick. Okay. All right, the text has been sent.
Real Forgiveness And A Prayer For Healing
SPEAKER_02Who in your life taught you what real forgiveness looks like? Who in my life taught me what real forgiveness looks like?
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's a bloated one. I would say Dawn. Donnie Doo, Donny Doo do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I would say Dawn. I when I like was dabbling in the church things before I like jumped off the deep end and then hit rock bottom and then came back, she told me 800,432.6 times. Oh wow, it's a lot of time. Yeah, it was a lot of time not to do what I was about to do. And I didn't listen to her, and she was trying so hard to pour into me. And I left, and then I came back and I was pregnant, and I was broken, and it was almost like I'm coming back and begging for help almost, and she just didn't even bat an eye. Like she did not even, I remember we were in the Mexican restaurant in the bathroom. And wait, what Mexican restaurant? Um Adolita's. Oh, I think it was Adalita's Adolita's. I think so. Um, on it on the on Edgewood. Um, but I remember being like, Will you still like do you still love me or like do you still like me? Like, are we still and July was like, yeah, like this baby is a treasures baby now. Like that's amazing, and I never felt that before. I'd never felt love like that before, where it was like if I just jump off the deep end and I come back, like you're gonna still be there. And she was, and she hasn't ever left. Well, just think about like that's just like a human form of that. Like, imagine how like God feels right now, like yeah. Donna's so special. She is. I'm gonna get her on the pod. She doesn't want to be on the pod, but she's we will drag her by her earlobes. She's coming on the pod. She's coming on the pod. She's been such a pivotal in so many people's walks, like just an amazing, powerful woman of God who just walks it out. Like she actually lives it, breathes it, believes it. Um, and she has shaped me into the woman that I am. I wouldn't be who I am without her. She's got a big heart. She's got so many good things. I love Donnie Doo. Donnie Doo doo. All right. Well, should we move into the hard ones? I'm a little nervous. I know those ones, those ones felt really deep. I know. I'm like, there are three little fishies, and I'm a little nervous for all of them. Each little fish makes us a little more nervous. Okay. I ask you. Oh, man, I think right first. This is fun. I know I really like this. I feel like I want to do a little, you know, like a little mixy. A little mixy mix. We didn't mix them, so. All right, let's see. What's the hardest one be on the bottom? Um, if someone in this room, I don't know who that'd be. Um, no, I guess it'd be me. If I in this room, me, could pray, could pray over one part of your story today, what would you ask me to pray for?
SPEAKER_01Oh, jeez. It's gonna make me cry though. That's good.
SPEAKER_02It's good to cry, let it out. I'm such an ugly crier. Are you? Yeah, like is anyone a pretty crier? I mean, have you ever seen somebody cry and it looks pretty? I mean, not really. When I'm at the altar and I'm crying, I mean snot. Snot, just hanging. I'm like, where's the Kleenex? I don't just like use the inside of my shirt, you know. Yeah, because you can't find the Kleenex. So, like, what are you gonna do? Let your snot fall on the altar? Yeah, I'd rather sometimes it was a joke. Sorry, CLC. So much snot in the carpet.
SPEAKER_01Um I just feel like the thing that keeps coming to my mind is just like healing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um I feel like there's still a lot that I'm working through when it can comes to our like childhood and stuff. And so like just healing that part. And letting go of it. It's like I feel like there are walls still around my heart. And I've been praying this actually, like, God, like, break those walls down, break those walls down because I want to let go. Yeah. And I want to be like, I want my heart to be 100%. And but I feel like there's a guarded place of me still just because of like rejection and all the things. Yeah. So I feel like that would probably be the biggest thing of my story to like just be able to heal that that little five or six-year-old girl that you know is still so broken inside. I mean, not as broken as she needs to be, right? But like still broken and working through all of that. Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's such a beautiful, like that God meets us where we're at.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Like, you know, I think that some people would hear that or or feel that in themselves and be like, this disqualifies me. Do you know what I mean? Like this pain that I feel, or that I'm not fully there, like that it disqualifies me. But like it doesn't, you know, and you look at the people in scripture who were broken and healing. I mean, David, all the psalms he wrote, like I just Elijah out in the desert, like, just let me die, Lord. And he's like, No, I'm not gonna let you die. Like, yeah, eat a snack, take a nap. Um, but I just love that about our God is that like even in your healing and even in the brokenness and pain, like he still uses you and he still speaks to you, and he meets us right where we are. And I just love that. He doesn't wait for you to arrive before he meets you, like he gets down in the dirt in the trenches with you, and it's like, no, we're doing this together, like yeah, you're not alone in it, and he like lets you be transparent about it. Yeah, he wants us to be, yeah, like he's like, Don't hide it, I already know. And and we're he's our dad, yeah. You know, and I I think so much about like our our kids, like I want my children to come to me with everything, you know. Come if you're mad at me, come to me. Tell me why. If you're upset with whatever, like come talk to me and tell me. And so, if we are, how much more does our father in heaven want us want to be there and be our shoulder to cry on and hold us and um heal us? Yeah, because I mean our earthly parents and us as earthly parents, we can listen, but we can't heal them, right? And but God can listen, speak, and heal us, you know, and I just I just love that he gets in it with us. Me too. Like it doesn't disqualify you. Right. So don't don't let the enemy tell you that it does. I think so. Yeah, because you know he'd be lying. He be lying. All right, did you ask me one of the three fish yet? Wait, no. You didn't? No. Okay, ask me a three fish.
Restoration, Sisterhood, And Closing
SPEAKER_02Okay, and then I feel like that I'm calling them three fish. I don't think that's what they're called.
SPEAKER_01That's what they're called.
SPEAKER_02What's something you didn't share, but you feel like maybe you want to now. Oh, what do I want to share?
SPEAKER_01I could tell you anything. Um Lord, I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02I think the theme of just our sisterhood and our lives and the things that God has done is that he restores. Um that he and Joel, it says that he restores the years the locusts have eaten. And our relationship is living proof of that. Like, oh crap. No, seriously though, like and not just our relationship, but um, you know, how you're raising your babies and um how I'm raising mine, like we God is using us to res using at least, I guess let me speak for myself, but I'm sure it's like you too. Um, God is using my children to restore those years that were lost for me. Like seeing them go out and play in the sprinkler and just have joy, and hearing people tell me how joyful they are, it just like heals me to know that my children are being um raised in a way that fills them with joy, you know? And um yeah, so I would say that restoration is possible for anyone at any time in any situation. Like God does not just save you, but he will restore you. And when I say restore, I don't just mean like, oh, like you'll just stop lying and no, like, yes, he'll he'll do that. But it's even more than that. It's like he'll go into those dark places where you feel that hurt and he'll just begin to patch it up, and then he'll give you all of the things that Satan took from you. Oh, 100%, and it won't look exactly how you think it you it should look. You'll still that pain is still a thing that's there, like I didn't have the childhood or whatever that I should have had, but it doesn't even matter anymore because it's like look at what God has done, you know, and so yeah, I think that that's it. Like God does restore, and because that promise is true, it gives me faith that every promise is true. Oh, you know, like yeah, 100%. He has proven that that's true. Yeah, I live and breathe in restoration, like my life should not look like it, like it does. Well, and that's the crazy thing. Yeah, it's like with our upbringing, like this is insane that this is our life, like and I mean that in it in of itself is you know, if it just shows that God is real, yeah, he is living, he is breathing, he is all things, like he is real. Because if he wasn't, I don't feel like we would be in this situation. We wouldn't. I mean, there's proof, like where we tried to do it on our own, and it just wasn't, and it wasn't until we were both really walking with the Lord that we had that conversation, and um we were we were able to endure a losing dad together, which that was and yeah, walking out that and having children and the day-to-days and marriage and just life, and um but god he um what is that song? Like he goes to the camp and oh and takes back what he stole from us from us, yeah. This that you know what I'm saying. I know which one you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. Well, I feel like we got into it. We did get into it. I like this, I like this game, not not just Sundays is what it's called. If you're interested, this is not sponsored. I've I bought this with my own dollars, but um dollars, but it just sounded like a good a good idea to do. So I feel like it was very good, very good questions. Yeah, really good questions, and I'm sure you'll be back on the pot again so we can just be from here for a while. Well crazy together. Yeah, how was it? Good, was good, it's good, wasn't as scary as you thought it was gonna be. No, I was a little nervous, a little nervous, just a little bit, just a little teensy, just a little teeny. Why are we this?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Oh well, thank you for being here. Thank you. Thank you for watching, and we will see you next week. Bye.