"The craziest question I ever got from a nonprofit executive..." with Meghan Speer

"Surely I'm having a stroke..." is what went through Meghan's mind when she got asked this question during a pitch meeting. Hear how she handled the awkward situation and what she said could help stop bad behavior like this moving forward.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hi everyone! Welcome to the Nonprofit Diaries where we share the stories that don't make the newsletter. I'm your host, Kimberly Bottom, and for this inaugural episode, I am so excited about our very first guest. She is a known force in our industry as the executive director of Nonprofit Hub. Nonprofit Hub provides free education and resources for every aspect of nonprofit work. If you've met Megan, you know she's sharp, strategic, friendly, fierce. I love her because she's all those things with a little sign of sass. So that's why I'm so excited she's gonna be our first guest this time. Megan, welcome and thank you so much for being my test subject.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Oh my gosh, what an honor to be the first one. I mean, I that's just uh I it's a privilege.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Well, I'm glad you think that because when we were dreaming up this podcast, you were one of the people that I said, oh, Megan's got some stories. I know she's got some stuff that she can run. So let's set the stage for your nonprofit diary entry. This was titled The Craziest Question You Ever Got in a Pitch Meeting. So let's just set the stage. What was the pitch meeting about?

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Okay, so I was working for an agency at the time, um, and I was at a trade show doing meetings with some some of our current clients and some potential clients. Picture like we're in a a hotel suite and we're hosting a bunch of people for our meeting. Um, and so it was me and two guys from my team, and then five men from this nonprofit organization that were uh also in the room who we were pitching for us to be able to handle their uh some of their fundraising and donor services work. Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

So you went in with your colleagues and your pitching. Give us the lowdown. What what went down in that room?

SPEAKER_00 1:54

So, and I don't say this in like a braggadocious manner, but I was crushing the game in this pitch. Like I don't doubt it. I I was prepared, I was ready. Like this was in in for this particular trade show, this was the meeting, right? Like the whole schedule is built around like this is the pitch that we're really going after, this is the one that we want. Um, I was with like I said, I had two guys from my team with me. I was, if you looked at the org chart, senior to both of them by a couple levels. But again, I'm the only woman in the room, so that's always like its own brand of interesting. Um, but I'm in the middle of this pitch, halfway through. The head of the nonprofit, who is uh amongst the five gentlemen that are here to hear this presentation, the head of the organization stops me and he goes, I'm so sorry. Can I just ask you one question before you continue? I was like, Absolutely, yeah. What can I super presuming that this was about like something I had just said, right? Asking for clarification on something that I had just gone through. Kim, I'm not okay, so he stops and he says, I noticed there's not a ring on your finger. Uh my son just got divorced recently, and I was wondering if I could get your number to give to him because just you know, watching you here, I really feel like the two of you would hit it off. You know what? Nothing will derail me faster. Nothing will derail me faster. It was the most ludicrous statement I have ever heard in my life, and I so I just kind of froze because I didn't I didn't know what to do. I certainly did not particularly want this recently divorced man's phone number. Um I feel like he's probably like gotta get himself together before I even want to entertain any of that conversation. Um, so I just kind of froze and I was like, I uh uh thankfully, I will credit where it's due, one of my colleagues jumped in and said, you know, let's keep the personal things for later and let's just get on with the presentation. Um and then he very strategically at the end of the meeting kind of ushered me out so that I would not have to engage in this conversation. So kudos to him. But it was the most wild meeting I have ever been in my life.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Literally, like I can I won't share all the thoughts that just went through my head. What went through your head when he asked you that?

SPEAKER_00 4:23

I my first house surely I didn't hear him.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Right?

SPEAKER_00 4:28

This has to be a mistake. I have to be having a stroke or something. Like, surely this isn't what's really happening right now. Um and then I didn't know what to say because in your mind, right, you go through and I when I tell you like all of these thoughts are just whirlwinding around my brain. Because my thought was like, if I say no, do we is that it? Is the pitch over? Like if I I don't want to say yes, but I don't want to lose the business, and how do I say no without offending him? And how do I So trying to just like balance the social dynamics of the moment in that season? I was like, I don't, I don't know what my answer's supposed to be so that I can still accomplish my professional goal in this meeting.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

I don't know, I don't know what this I don't know how that was supposed to play out. So it was there was a lot of circular whirlwind thoughts happening that just kind of froze me in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

I feel like this is sort of a metaphor for sometimes what it can feel like to be a woman in business, right? Yeah. Because it's it's one of those moments where you're like, I should not have to be in this situation, but now I have to have the tact to navigate it properly, to not make the other person who's being super inappropriate feel bad.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Like it's it's such a juxtaposition to be in. Yes. And it really, you know, again, there's no there's no playbook for how to navigate those situations, right? That's not something you learn in any in any sort of school. Um, so just even trying to figure out again the social cues of what do I say that's that's appropriate to shut down the situation in such a way that doesn't cost me the goal and the reason that we're in this meeting in the first place. Right. Um, yeah, so it's a lot of there was a lot of things to juggle in that moment to try and keep on track.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Okay, so today, Megan. Yes, speaking to then, Megan, or speaking to anybody honestly, who finds themselves in a similar situation to this, what would you tell them or like them to know now that you've kind of lived through it?

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yeah, so I think and I do think about this regularly, because I do think in general, and it doesn't matter if you're pitching like an it you're working for an agency or a tech platform pitching a client or you're a fundraiser pitching a major donor, like there are always conversations where you unfortunately the other person is not gonna follow the script that you've built in your head for what you would like them to say next. Right. Um, and so I regularly think about this. I think if I would have had it to do over, what I wish I would have said is I'm really flattered, but let's get back on task. Right. And I wish that I would have had the wherewithal or the the presence of mind to to say it that way. Yeah, because I, you know, I I've been in major donor meetings where people tell you some really weird, some really weird things. Like it's not, it doesn't have to just be about somebody's recently divorced son. There are a ton of moments in my career where people I felt like have maybe overshared on the personal. Um, and so I, you know, I I think that line of like, man, I I'm very flattered, or I appreciate you sharing that with me, but let's get back to the professional task at hand, I think is maybe the the line that I would cement in my brain from here on out.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

100%. So did that in any way like moving forward for like these meetings where you're presenting and you have these unknown people on the other end who could ask literally whatever comes in. Does this change how you sort of prepare for these types of meetings?

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Honestly, no. Okay. Because there's no again, I can write the script in my head of what I want them to say at each interlude, but they don't have a copy of that script. So I yeah, I think if anything, it has taught me to prepare for the unexpected. Right? Do you and I think you know, there's a lot that could happen in any meeting, yeah, regardless of the the type of meeting that is. Um yeah, so I think just being willing to be prepared for the unexpected, and I think I almost at this point walk into meetings assuming that something ridiculous is gonna happen. Because then I don't, I'm not shocked when it does.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Yeah, that's super fair.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

I think it's easier to just like to guard myself that way and like mentally prepare for like something ridiculous is going to happen. And then when it doesn't, like, yeah, there see there it is. And if it doesn't, then that's a super pleasant surprise. But for the most part, then I'm not thrown by it because I do expect something crazy to happen.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Something crazy. And what either did you say or would you say to the angel who saved you from this and jumped in?

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Seriously, bless him. But here's what I would say, not necessarily to him, but to maybe anyone else who attends meetings with their, you know, whether their boss is a woman or their colleague is a woman, uh, don't be afraid to be the guy who steps in and says, uh-uh, we're we're not doing this. Yeah. Right? That kind of behavior stops when the man says, hey, that's that's not okay. Let's get back on track, right? So I think just being willing to sit to call that out instead of look, the situation is already awkward, right? Your female colleague knows that it's awkward. She is already feeling 10 times more awkward than you are. So don't make her also do the work to call it out. Yeah, be willing to step up and be that guy.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

And not that it matters, because what matters is that you are safe in coming into that meeting. But how did it go? Did you end up wing the We did get the business?

SPEAKER_00 10:07

So quick one for me. Um, yes, I listen, this is maybe like the most successful business situation ever because not only did I get the pitch, I did not have to get the phone number of this man's son. So, all in all, it was a win.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

That is it is a banana story, but again, I have a feeling that people out there listening are gonna be like, Oh yeah, I got one of those. Like one of those weird situations where you just kind of go, is this real life or am I having a stroke? So yeah, for sure. So yeah, I think it really just kind of soothes our soul to hear that we are not alone. So that is the whole purpose of us being here. So we'll thank you so much for sharing your story, for submitting your diary entry today. I appreciate you being here. I will for sure be calling on you as we move forward because I know you just collect these stories as you go and you just have so many experiences in the nonprofit realm. So your wisdom and insight is always appreciated here. Absolutely. Happy to be back anytime. Yes, I love that. All right, I'm calling you on it. And for all the nonprofit professionals listening out there, remember hydrate, practice self care. And if it helps, you can submit your own diary entry by clicking the link below. We would love to have you on the podcast, and we'll see you next time.