The Human Sunshine Podcast Episode 4

We're back with our fourth episode of The Human Sunshine Podcast!

There comes a moment when you realize surviving isn’t the same as living your life. This podcast is for anyone who has ever had to walk away from a toxic, abusive relationship and choose themselves.

This isn’t just a podcast about leaving, it’s about rebuilding, reclaiming your voice, and learning how to shine again after the darkest chapters.Because even after a devastating storm, you can become your own light. You can become… a Human Sunshine.

In this episode, you can watch and listen to the founder of The Human Sunshine Podcast, Sunny Woodall, an entrepreneur, visionary and domestic violence warrior speak to her best friend Brittany Maurer, about how Sunny's epiphany when an officer told her that people love her, that she personally made a ton of mistakes and how accountability is an important part of the process and her evolution.

Be sure to hit Subscribe and share our podcast with any woman or man who may be in a volatile relationship and could use a support system and advice.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Dear Lord, thank you for just getting us uh here today after a whirlwind of a week. I just pray that you just release all fears and anxieties and just let this be the light that Sunny needs to kind of motivate her to just keep going and that she's uh doing a good thing and you know, doors are opening and people are uh just hearing her story and uh to begin with, I just pray that we have another good show and hello, welcome to the Human Sunshine Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

I'm Sunny Woodall.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

And I'm Brittany Maurer. We are episode four.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Episode four.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

How have you been? How's your week been? Always just so busy.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

This is I feel like the first time I'm sitting down, except for driving my children everywhere, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

Oh yeah. Busy, busy. I feel that we've been uh slammed with all the festivals the last three weeks. I feel like this month has been like crazy whirlwind and crazy. And it's like this week I can finally slow down and catch my breath, and then had the craziest weekend. My husband husband ended up having to take my son into urgent care because he was like having issues breathing and they thought it was a collapsed lung, and thank God it wasn't. It was just like he strained uh cartilage or muscle something on his rib, so we couldn't take like a full breath. So we like sent him into like a panic attack, and it was just crazy. But he's thank God. Yes, but man, it's just like if it's not one thing another life, it's another.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

And it's like our kids constantly keep us on our toes with what's happening, and you're just like, But it's crazy because we like learn it's like these things happen, and but then you like learn like the knowledge of like how did this happen and what's going on, and he thank god he's okay. Like I'm so happy that he's okay. But it's been it's been crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

So yeah, I feel you. I'm like sitting in the chair when we first got to the studio and I'm like leaning back. I'm like, it feels good to breathe.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

It feels good to just be here. And and it also just feels good to like like chat with you because we are so busy separately. It's like we're like close, but like so separate. So we have like family lives, and then it's like, oh yeah, we can't do that. Or time to like sit and chat the whole time. Totally. And your hair looks so good, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

I just got it done. Find the best hairstyles, this does look good.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

So we released your first episode. Yes. Publicly. Yes, it's been a long time coming. Yes. How have you been feeling about like you were quiet for so long, like over 10 years, that you have really sat in silence, and no one other than maybe a handful of close people knew a little bit of what was going on in your life, but never the full picture, because you never really let people into that side of your life. And like you've aired almost everything out there now.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

The response that you're getting is it different than the response that kept you quiet? I guess that's what I'm trying to do. I see what you mean.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

And yes, it is. It was like I just felt like this is the time to do this, like for myself, for my kids, for other people who are in any of these situations that need help. Like, I do have so much knowledge now and um have gone through so much that I can educate people, and this is what I feel like honestly is my like current mission right now to do because it will help people, and that's at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Um, so the response has been so, so nice. It's it's quite emotional to get responses from people that I have not talked to in a long time. Who I would say the majority of them, um, there's a lot of we had a feeling this was happening. Um, not in that that exact words, but but yeah, or a lot of them, I'm sorry that I didn't lend out my hand, or I'm sorry that I didn't ask anything, or you know, so that is also something. It is such a delicate situation because it's your family and it's everything. But I I feel like, yeah, if you suspect anything like this, maybe with a good friend or something, like kind of what you did. I mean, like again, you you've said you see me naked, so it's like at some point, yeah, this girl could be super clumsy, or or maybe there is something going on. I remember so many times coming to you, like I literally was like, you have the mirror in your tan, you know, and I'm like, shit, I'm gonna have to take everything off. And a lot of times I wouldn't even know I had those certain bruises. And then I would look in the mirror, and and you're about to walk in, and it's like, shit, there's like no way out of this.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Like, yeah, there's no hiding it.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

There's no hiding it, but a lot of times you just you didn't say anything. And then so I was just like, I'm not gonna say anything because what am I gonna say? You know, that that became a lot of that. Like, what do you, what are you gonna say? It's it's almost like until you're really ready, you're not going probably going to. You know, it's like the that's kind of what happened. It's little bits here and there, and then it's like, well, is this really happening? Um, so yeah, I think the response has been great, and I could not be happier that we are doing this, and I just feel like God is behind it, and it's for other people. Like that's what feels so good, is is I know, and I I think it already is helping educating other people. So it's just it does feel really good, you know? Yeah, so yeah, it's been great.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Yeah, the mission behind it is so much bigger than getting your story out. Oh, yeah. And I it's helping people who are your story, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

And and those are the people that you want to reach. Like these people can watch this alone and hear, they don't have to call someone or they don't have to, or maybe they don't know what to do. So at least they can get little pieces of information and like um resources that we are suggesting to them and they can just start. It just takes it just takes a like a little light bulb going off to really kind of say, like, maybe I should look into this, or maybe, you know, like with Laura's house, it's like I would have never I would have never opened up with all that. And you say, like, we've aired it all out, it's like it's enough to know what's happened. But of course, like there's a million, a million incidents that uh will never be talked about here because it's like, why would I? And and just quickly, because it just came to me like you may not feel comfortable telling the truth or saying exactly what happened or making a phone call because you make that phone call and it's game on. And by the way, I totally trust law enforcement now. Like I know, you know, that we've been bred to not trust them and they're bad people and all these things, and it's like, no, I mean, maybe there are some, I'm sure. But like for the most part, I'm pretty sure they want to help people.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

That's what they go to school for. Yeah, their job is to be able to do that. Their job is to protect and serve. Like, I literally just looked that up the other day and I'm like, to protect and serve. And I'm like being told these people are like the devil. Anyhow, I think what law enforcement perhaps like um doesn't have or doesn't go to school on, I'm not really sure you would know too, but is the emotional um side of it. So, like if you're if you're like lying for someone and you're trying to protect, it's like, yeah, you're supposed to say everything, right? But then if you say everything, your life is just now blown up. So are you ready for that? You have to be ready for that. And you're you're with your kids, you gotta have like your shit together.

SPEAKER_03 7:21

Yeah, you had interactions with law enforcement multiple times and you still weren't in the place of telling the truth. So it's like now that you are in a different place and you're going through trying to pursue justice, it's like you have to go through and basically not like erase because it's all documented and police reports and all of this, but you have to go through and like tell these people like, hey, you know, what I said before, I need to redact that statement because that was not the truth. And I'm now ready to talk about the truth. So it's like, it's like opening up a whole nother can of worms, essentially.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

You were so pivotal in that. I didn't even know you could do that because I never read these things. Like I didn't, I was like, why would I read this? But yeah, you know, no wonder he was moving trying to move us around to like every city and state, whatever, because it's like to get out of every jurisdiction that you're in trouble in, then you gotta move your family or your wife. You're this is insane. So I didn't know. Like if a crime happens in a jurisdiction, that's where you need to go to report it. You can't just go report it from like where your call or another city. You can't, you gotta be there. So um that that's something like I wouldn't you would just never know these things unless you were in the situation and and and wanted help. But um, yeah, you file a supplemental report and it and it will continue or you know, change or whatever you need to do to make sure that like what actually happened is on paper. Because yeah, that happened to me too. And you know, when I had welfare checks being done on me, I mean it was like boom, boom, but like they were happening so close, you know. And it's just wild how you're just like telling them to their face like nothing has ever happened here.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

And they could visibly see certain things. Oh, yeah. When they're coming to do wellness checks, you know, they can visibly see. Yeah, like, uh, are you really sure that nothing's happened? Because I could see visible things on you that are telling me otherwise.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

And that was another thing that my husband was like, you cannot do not let them in the home, you know. Like, I'm sure, yeah. It's like they are probably trained to know this stuff. Like, like I said, the workers before, like the holes in the walls and the everything broken or whatever it is. It and it really for me, it just took one particular officer. Like, it just so happened that it was a it was the right timing. It was one officer one day that was like, Sonny, a lot of people love you and they're very concerned about you. And it just for some reason, it wasn't like an officer, it was like it was like a human being genuinely cared about your situation well-being. And I I felt it. I felt it, and I was like, you know, I didn't go that that day. I was still was like, no, but but it stayed with me. Like his voice, his words, his eyes, everything stayed with me. So it just takes um really just one person, yeah, you know, to kind of like get in there and then and then you start to think like, well, what will happen?

SPEAKER_03 10:26

So and for people listening to you, like it's it is a vulnerable thing to go in and share what's happened to you. So like if you're a female and like you're afraid of going to make a report, you can go to the station and request a female officer to take your statement. So, you know, if if you're having issues because it's like a man did this to you, so you don't want to tell another man and be vulnerable who's gonna judge you or maybe not fully understand the vulnerability of what you're about to share. Like you can absolutely request a female officer to take your statement if you feel more comfortable doing so, because yeah, it only takes one person that you feel comfortable sharing with that can change everything, the trajectory of everything.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Yeah, basically, like here's the thing for like anyone struggling through any of this stuff, like you just have to ask. You can ask for anything you want in life, right? Yeah, the worst you're gonna get is a no. Exactly. So you might as well ask. Yeah. Because people are here to hopefully help you. So just ask, like whatever your needs are, you just ask, even resources they have. Like you just need to put your you need to speak up. I mean, which is obviously what I did not do, but you need to open your mouth and ask and share with what's going on, and then they will guide you and they will help you. Because again, the majority of them want to. So I think that's really important for people.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Yeah, 100%. And knowing that they're trained to handle these situations, and you're not the first person to come in with these problems, and you unfortunately won't be the last.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

Absolutely, yeah. And so, but if we can help now, you know, anyone like I I I think about it so much more now. Other people in this situation, just my goodness, like you, especially with kids, like I would have never lost my kids. Like this would have never happened if I would have, you know, but um again, it's unfortunate you're just not, or I wasn't strong enough, or couldn't couldn't see, um, I couldn't see that things would be okay without this person. You know, I I really I could I just couldn't see it.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

So let's talk about like what happened and why that you lost your kids.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

So um it was so CPS um obviously took my kids. Um they took them from school on the same day that um my husband had his first arrest. So these welfare checks I'm talking about, there were, I believe, four welfare checks. I mean, it was two officers each time, and I believe they were all men. Um the last one, the officer I was speaking of, he that day something changed. And I did call my husband that morning and I was like, the police are here again, I don't know what to do. And he wasn't helping, he was just like, don't I think talk to them? You know, it's just I was in such a state of, you know, but it all these things I tell you now, like I'm so glad that he was so mean, like so many times to me, because that's really what I think back to now. Like that morning, I remember being like, How can you be like so mad at me right now? And you're so mean to me. Like, I'm asking you to how to protect us. Like so he was like so mean that morning, and that was the morning that I was like, I'm going. And yeah, so I went, and um, once I went into the actual station, like now I'm at a station, I was with um someone I that was a friend at a time. I had been giving her pictures of things that were happening for quite some time, and um we just sort of opened it up. And we CPS was already like on the case kind of thing to like kind of monitor. Yeah, they were like investigating.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

So and what exactly was their like let's clear up like what was the reason that they were investigating?

SPEAKER_02 14:14

So I don't ever you don't ever know who calls CPS, right? Like anyone. So they got a report, they got another. Assuming they got a call or report, or who knows? But I would assume, like like I've mentioned what I was told, and from what I've read, uh, two things. So there's like substance abuse. Um, well, I don't know that that was in an actual report. I believe that it said allegations of substance abuse and not just on me, this is for both of us. Right. And um uh vi violence. Got it. So it was those two things were like an i an enough for them to like start like something's going on in this household.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

We need to make sure that the kids are safe, and that the parents are good and good and able to take care of the children. Right. And I and a safe household.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

Yeah, and again, this is I mean, it's not even a red flag. It's like, are you fucking kidding me, Sonny, that you like allowed this to happen? Before when the kids were still with us, that very first phone call from CPS I had already mentioned, like I didn't even know what that that department was. He was always telling me, Oh, it's your family that called CPS, it's your friends. No, no, no. I believe it was his side the whole time. Um, either way, or it could have been both. Who who cares? There was an issue that needed to be handled and the kids needed to be protected because it wasn't happening from us. Right. And I'll say that for myself too. I wasn't protecting these kids at all with what was going on at all. And I can say that now, you know. Um, but yeah, that day, you know, he hit my head against the truck window. Like this is on the egg on McKinley, on the exit, like to our home to meet these people. Like it's absolute insanity. So you're throwing my purse out on the free on a f busy freeway and hitting my head against the truck, like, and now I have to go tell these people, like, We're fine. We're like the cleavers. I'm like, what is happening? But yeah, so they came, and I think I said this already too. But yeah, um, it was just an interview. They interview you, they tested me that day. He was upstairs listening. Um, and then I had to go get the kids, and then they interviewed him. So it starts like with interviews, they did check the home, things like that. Um, and then it was the welfare checks were like, it was all kind of red around that time. And when I made that report at the station that day, um, uh, so unfortunate, but that day my kids got taken from school. They called me and they were like the the wording they use was like the children have been detained. And even then I was like, what do you mean? Like I just didn't fucking get what was happening.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

And then he explained, you know, um, they had asked me in in that conversation at my house, is there do you have a trusted family member close by? And the only one I have is my mom. So I gave my mom, well, that's where they went. So they went to my mom's um and then he got arrested that night. And before he got arrested, though, I called him and I was like, oh my God, like they like took the kids, and it was just like, no, they fucking didn't. It just was like not helpful, like this. And then I was like, Can you come home? Can you please? I'm on the floor, like crying. I do not know what to do. It's like my whole entire world is blown up. I'm terrified. My kids are in like a van driving to Yukaipa right now. Like, I can't be with them. I didn't see them leave. Like, as a mom, you're just like, doesn't matter, even if you are the shittiest mom on the planet, that is heartbreaking because you're you just don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

Well, and then they're confused and they have no idea what's happening either.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Not with any relative. Yeah, scared. Scared. Can you imagine? Like, I na I can't imagine. So I was terrified at home and he was like not coming home. And I'm like, dude, please just come home. Like, come home. You know, I don't know what to do. Like, we need to like figure this out. So looking back, yeah, I don't feel like a a father or like a husband would do that. Uh but he did. And then he ended up coming home later. And I remember he was just like, I'll take you to get something to eat. It was just weird. I said, Okay, so we go. And um, I swear to God, we went to this restaurant by our house, this little restaurant to get food. I got up to go to the restroom. As I was coming out, they were putting him in handcuffs. I was like, What the heck is going on? And that was scary too, because now I'm alone. And this was like the next couple years of what was happening. How do I save these kids? How do I save him? How do I even like think? How do I even, by the way, I had a work meeting that night. Like, how am I supposed to tell my staff what to do at work right now when my whole life just blew up in the matter of like hours here? So that was a that was a crazy time, like that, even just that day. I mean, you know, that's a lot of loss within a couple hours. Oh yeah. And and you just don't know what to do because now I'm not talking to him. My mom doesn't really know, we just don't know what what's really going on yet.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

And then I did talk to the the social worker and like, when can I see my kids? Like, what do I do? And he this I I believe this was a Friday night. And then he said, You can you can come see your children Monday. Like your the door's open for you to come like whenever you need or want to. So I did, you know, but he he had stayed what he told me he was in jail for I don't know, like four days or three days or something like that. From there, it just so much confusion. I would say for me. So much confusion, and partially all of it is because I didn't I didn't do my job in reading documents and knowing what the fuck was going on in my life. I did not do that like at all. I don't know if I just thought like this'll all be okay, which is kind of what I always thought. It wasn't okay. Yeah, and it wasn't okay for my kids. Um, so yeah, that was it was it was tough.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

So after they get taken, how long were they gone and how long were they staying with your mom?

SPEAKER_02 19:51

I didn't know any of that. Like I asked that question too, like, what's gonna happen? Because now like the department's off. You can't like call them because it's like nighttime. So now you're like, what? Um so this person that I was at I went to the station with, she told me to my face, she's like, the kids are gonna be gone for six months. And I remember looking at her and I'm like, six months? My kids are gonna be gone from me for six months. Like, A, how do you know that? And B, like, what is gonna be happening for six months? So you gotta like, this is when uh both parents, you know, there's drug testing, there's um, you know, parenting classes, there's all these things that you need to do to prove to this department, and rightfully so, like that you you are okay to have your children back. And again, this goes into my career was like, gosh, now I'm like, I'm taking all these like classes here, but I gotta be an owner and look like a badass. And like these two things in my head are not aligning. Like, I really, really messed up here, and I don't know how to show that I'm still this like amazing leader because now I don't feel like a leader at all. I can't even leave my own kids. And now t my husband's in jail, so it's just like, yeah, it's just a lot, a lot of you you really gotta get your mind right, and it is a lot at one time to to kind of figure out and manage, and you still gotta pay bills and you still gotta like pay your employees and commission rates and all these things, and it is really, really difficult. It was very, very difficult to get there.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

And so during this, did anyone at your salon know what that like this had transpired?

SPEAKER_02 21:24

Yeah, so we had I believe this was a Wednesday night because I had like I would do staff meetings like every two months. Uh, we had a meeting that night, and I remember um the girls were all there, and I it's like I knew we had a meeting, and I would normally come home, prepare for the meeting at home, get the kids situated, and then I would go back to the meeting, sometimes take the kids or not. But yeah, this time it was like the the lid just blew off this whole thing. And so yeah, I called one of the girls and I was like, I told her, like, oh my god, they just took my kids. Like, I just I don't even think I think I was in shock. That's like the best way I can say it now, because I'm saying too many words, but I think I was. In shock. So I did not go to that meeting. Um, I cried. Like I honestly, like I could have died, you know. So, but but then I was felt guilty for not going to the meeting. Like, so your mind is like on this trajectory of like this is what our life is. You don't know what to do. No, the train just totally went off the complete track, and and you you don't think you can fix it. And now it's like, do I tell, do I call my dad? Like my mom knows what's going on, but like she didn't really know what was going on to begin with. So yeah, she got thrown into this whole situation too. She did, and she did she stepped up. I mean, she my mom really did step up. Um, and and that being said, she didn't know. My mom did not know what was going on. She she knew some, like when he hit me with a golf ball in the back of the head, my head it split my head open, honestly, like a good couple inches because like so much blood. But that gash, I don't know if I told you, like that when he did that, again, the reaction when I was like, What was that? Because it's to the back of me. And he I turned around and he's like, It was something. And like I was just like stunned, you know, but there's blood now running all down my neck. And I I got in the car to drive to my mom's because I didn't know where to go. Like, I just needed someone to like see this, or why I didn't go to the police department. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I can't I I don't know. But I just went to her, I was going to her house and I literally almost fell asleep driving. And then my mind was like, concussion, maybe. I don't know. So I drove back and I fell asleep on the couch. And when I woke up, he was sitting right on the floor in front of me. He probably knew, like, shit, this could be bad.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

So that so she knew because I had gone back to her house like a couple days later and showed her the I I made her like move my hair and she looked and she was like, Oh my god, Sunny, you are a battered woman. Those were her words to me. And I was like, I'm telling, you know, I'm telling you, like, this is not normal. This is like, this is like worse than bad, you know. But at the time, I think I was still like very confused and cover, cover, cover, cover lie, you know. But yeah, she knew. And she did, she stepped up.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

So you get the kids back after the first CPS case. What happened after you got the kids back the first time?

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Now that I have dived into, and this is so important, holy shit. I'm going to say this and it's just gonna blow people's minds. I thought the majority of the violence happened prior to his first arrest. No, it did not. In 2023, the things that I thought were in 2021 and 22, just based off my like year recollection, happened in 2023. After this person gets it, this is why I'm I'm I would never be hateful or bitter. I'm still not, I'm I forgive this person and I pray for his soul every day. But my God, you did not stop, and it got so much worse. The things that were happening to me in 2023 that I now know the year, no, it didn't stop. So, sorry, what was your question?

SPEAKER_03 25:02

Hearing this too, though, it's the reason you got the kids back, and the reason CPS got involved is they gave you the direct orders like they did this person cannot be involved in the kids' lives, they need to go through classes, you had gone through classes, you had to put in the work to even get the kids back and and prove to CPS that they were gonna be in a safe environment again, away from this person. Yeah. So you were able to prove all of these things because you and I know the truth. And you know, you're doing one action to show the courts, but behind closed doors, well, you were not doing all of the things that they were asking of you.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Absolutely. Well, no, I was like doing all the classes and like of course of them away from him. Yeah, and I wasn't listening to them at all. Right. And all and and that goes hand in hand with what he was doing. Yeah, he was He was trying to prove to the courts that he's taking anger management and all these things, which but you're still doing now.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

I know a very doing a violent part in your life, even though he was supposed to not be in your lap.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Correct. I did not listen at all, and yes, he was very much still around and in my head, I was like, we're a team. That's what I thought. Like, we're a team, and we love these kids because we built them. So, like, we're a team, but like we were not at all a team. And it I didn't know a lot of this until very, very recently about just the deception and like the all of that stuff. But what I was trying to say was with with the courts, like how you said I was trying to prove to CPS one thing, totally doing another. And he was trying to prove to the criminal courts I'm not a violent person, yeah, but he was still doing way, way worse. So yeah, it's like I I mean, I wasn't being violent, but I was not doing my job as a mother. Right, period.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Still letting this person be an active threat in your life.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Which was tearing me, me, my, my soul, my heart, my it was tearing me apart from the inside out because of what what was still happening to me. But but that's probably why I also couldn't speak out more because now I'm like, fuck, if I say I'm with him and this happened now, CPS is like, we fucking told you.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

So you get the kids back. How long were they gone? Do you remember the first time?

SPEAKER_02 27:14

The first one like how long was it actually? It was about I'd say about the course, like seven months, something like that. I believe, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

So you get them back, and then how much time goes by not long before they get taken again.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Not long in that apartment. It was months. It was months until the night you were there. Um, that was October, and I believe they came back like in around Gia's birthday, so like this summer. It was not long at all. And um there there is just no way, no other way to say it. I I personally made every mistake possible. All of the all of it, you know, and I can't like change it now. I just had to learn, and it was all of them very hard lessons. But I made all the mistakes, and so, so I unfortunately, I deserved to have my kids taken from me. I deserved it, no matter what, because they deserved a better mom at that time. They deserved way more, you know. So I understand, and they were not safe. They were not safe. I wasn't safe, none of us were, so so I understand, you know. Um and and you for doing that, like we've spoken about this. It was the hardest, I know you say morally decision moral decision you've had to make in your life. And at the time for me, yeah, I was angry. And this why are you doing this to my family? Why are you doing this to my family? Yeah. Who do I think I am telling you that? Yeah, you were saving my family.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

That was that was really the time that I got involved in the situation. Like, you know, when they first got taken, we I I I knew that you didn't have them, but I didn't really know the whole story. And it was like I'm getting little bits and pieces of what's happening, and I still didn't even really understand like the full context of like what was going on. And then, you know, when you did get them back, it was in the summertime, and so like you and the kids were spending a lot of time at my house, sleepovers and summer activities, and the kids are out of school, so we're going and having fun and all of these things, and then you're, you know, I'm trying to help you. Like, okay, it's like we got them back. Like, let's put like steps of action. What are we gonna do next? What's life gonna look like now? Getting away from this person, how can we protect you? And meanwhile, like you're telling me to my face one thing, but I'm catching you in lives, and I'm like, She's still there. That's that's not what's happening. Like, you are still talking to this person, and then yeah, I'll never forget that night in October where it's like I did, I had to make the decision where it's like, you know, I love you, but I love these kids more in this moment.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

And I am so glad you did. I am so glad you did. And for people listening who like you're if you're going to open up to a friend, just know like you're now entrusting this person as a mother, like as a friend, to do her job, yeah, as a good friend, and say, uh, we're taking the reins here because this is uh you already tried to do it your way and like this didn't work out. And thank God you did. And obviously, he, you know, uh you know this now, like he with everybody, but definitely with you. I think because of your faith, too. I feel like that was quite threatening to him. I do.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

Um, but for me, it I like loved it. I needed it. So that's why I was trying at that time to spend like as much time with your family as we could because I knew it was positive and it wasn't the other side where it was like all the gossipy negative stuff. And so yeah, that was helpful. People should also know that that was that that date of the police report that you were in my apartment with the kids was 10 30 of 2023. The Viv Hotel where he hit me in the face and grabbed Gia, that incident was 1023. It was just seven days prior. And then there had been another incident that the police took pictures of the night you were there in between all that. So when I really think back, it's like, did I even breathe? Did I even breathe? And how am I what kind of mother am I? And like, you know, my dad would say that to me, like, you're the mom, you know, like he's whatever, but you're the mom. It's like that. I could not grasp that concept. But yeah, and after that, like, you know, he's just like, yeah, we're moving to Fallbrook, you know. I'm like, what? What the hell? Like, I have to re-enroll the kids in a new school. Of course, CPS is gonna come here. What? He's just like, they're never gonna know, get the kids in school, do all.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

And then they like run and hide from all the problems.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

But when I think back, it's like, oh my goodness, how we're just and I'm racing like doing all the stuff to try and get them set up in a whole new city that we don't know anyone, and this rent is like so high, and like obviously this is never gonna work out. How I thought it was going to, I truly was just under some kind of spell. I don't know, but anyway, it didn't work out, and yeah, they they took them from Fallbrook the second time, and that time, if anyone is witness to having your children ripped from your arms, it is um something that you never it's just so hard. Like I will never forget Gia. You know, she ran like she, you know, she ran, she would not leave. Um, it was really hard to get her to go. And writers just like, Gia, come on, you know, because he knows like this isn't helping. So yeah, that was um just awful. So for me, it was like now I messed up again. Now my like I was just like I said at a zero. The depression, I didn't even ever deal with depression before, and that like of course, you know, and again, I call him while CPS is at my front door in Fallbrook, and I'm calling him like they're taking the kids again, like and he's like, tell those people to fuck off, tell them to leave. I can't do this job. Like I am, I can't do there's an officer here, there's CPS here, the kids are crying. Like, you're telling me to tell these people I cannot do this. Yeah, you know, like where are you? Yeah, where are you? So looking back, it's like the world was like on my shoulders and like I couldn't, yeah. So that was that. And um, and then he got he got arrested a couple months later in Fallbrook. So it just was a what a disaster. Um, I'm gonna switch gears real quick because all of that happened and that's like all bad. But I want to tell people this um clearly, like you you have to just, yeah, you have to get away, you have to trust someone like yourself and don't worry about the friendship on your side. Like you didn't care, you didn't.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

If we were not friends anymore, yeah, it was, you know, it's yeah, you know, you've got to be willing to put your emotions and fears and kind of repercussions of those actions aside, right? And you knowing that what you're doing is the right thing for these kids. And I even told you that night, I like looked you in the eye and I was like, I don't care if you're mad at me or you hate me after this. I said, I know that this call is probably going to get CPS involved again and that your kids are probably going to be taking those words. And I said, I know the actions of what I'm about to do and like the reaction that's going to happen. And I said, but I have to. Yeah. And I love you. And that's why I was like, I literally looked at you and I was like, I love you, but I have to do this.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

And you were a real friend. Like to do something like that. Like, there are not a lot of people in the world that would. I don't even know that I could do that. Like, I I probably would now. Oh yeah. But yeah, so I mean, I it's just, you know how I feel about you. Don't need to go into tears over it. But yes, um, you need you just need someone that you can trust that can that loves your kids and that loves you enough to do this, you know. And has your best interests are like when you said that on the thing.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

There's no ulterior motives. There's no, I'm not gaining any whole religious. It's like, I don't, like, I'm not doing this to, you know, put myself on a pedestal and say, look at all the all the great work I've done. It was like, no, that was like a shitty thing that I had to do. And I felt horrible for having to do it. But at the end of the day, I knew that like if this is what it's going to take to snap you out of this and finally wake you up and get you to realize that this person that you are literally ruining your and your kids' lives for is not worth the mud on my shoes. Exactly. Like, and you can't just snap out of it.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

You cared about the real stuff, the the like feeding us dinner at home and like reading scripture with us and getting us involved in like church just real. Okay. It's like real and it is not a bunch of like, yeah, clout and bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

You're doing this because I was genuinely afraid that something was going to happen to you, or worse, something was gonna happen to these kids. And there was going to be no way out, way out of it, or turning out. It's like if if it you cross that line of like, God forbid something ends your life. It's like there's no, oh, hurry, let me let me roll back the tape and let me fix this. No, it's like if I don't fix this now, something could happen that is not fixable.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

And also, yeah, and and God, I mean, God knows, like I I definitely could have died, you know, a couple times. So so yeah, I do, I do looking back now. I know I used to like tiptoe around all this, but now that we're doing this like project, I feel a lot stronger to say these words. Like, I do believe if I stayed, I I do not, I I definitely it definitely wouldn't have gotten better, obviously. I don't know that I think maybe both of us would be be gone from this planet. That's kind of what I think based off the things that he has said and the actions he has taken. Yeah, I do believe that. Um, but yeah, I was gonna say real quick, with um in regard to like when I talk about the substance, I never want to minimize, you know, I always want to take responsibility for like my sh stuff too.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Well being a bad mom was like clearly happening, but but um with the like substance or drinking, I again I've mentioned like people can speculate with like whatever was happening with CPS, but I've never failed like a drug test with CPS. I I don't know that he has. Um, I know like I've said his suit the first suicide, he he was under substances, but I don't know if like CPS carrot or no knows about that. Um but with the drinking, I feel this is why people you need to be so careful, like just don't drink, just don't, because it's never gonna help. And I got myself in bad circumstances with with that. I got a DUI in 2023. I'm sorry, in um, yeah, 2023 in November. So shortly around this time, the kids were not with me. But um I I did listen to that that police call on with my lawyer, and it was him, you know, and that's okay. He like, I was supposed to meet him for dinner, and like, you know, I was crying because like he was making it hard to meet him, and yeah, then you know, he called to report a drunk driver. Whatever I drank, I drove. It's my responsibility, but that sucked. And then um my arrest on 718 of 24. You know, I got arrested for a drunk in public. I was not drunk and I was not in public. I was with him and he was driving and he was drinking. And when the police show it was his truck was registered to his mom's, I assume, for this whole like thing to happen. I don't know, but um the police like came to my window and they're just like knocking on the window and I'm in the passenger seat and they're like, You need to get out of the truck. And I'm like, at this time I'm a telling thinking police are like the devil. So I'm like, no, no, this is my husband's truck. Like he's he's inside working in his one of his properties. And um, they're like, No, you need to get out of the truck, and I'm like, no, this is his truck, and I'm like, what, protecting it? And they asked me a third time, and as soon as I got out, I got handcuffed, and his sister was right there recording this. I do feel there is no way I would ever say that I wasn't obviously I was drinking too much, I was leaning on substance like for sure through this time. He was with me the majority of the time doing the same thing. However, that doesn't matter because this was my action, right? But I do believe, like he said to me, I need you to have a wrap sheet. I believe wholeheartedly he was anyone, even CPS told me, I think your husband's been setting you up for a long time. He's just smart like that, and that sucks, you know. Like, how am I getting arrested that you're drinking and driving? What is that? What? Yeah, but I had to go to jail for the whole night and like whatever, you know. And then when I left, she was like, No charges. I'm like, so why was that? I don't know, probably to set me back with CPS. So it's okay because I needed those things to happen for me to wake up because I stopped drinking after that completely. Yeah, you that was it.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

I was like, you stopped drinking, you went to rehab, yeah. Like we're not doing anything weekly check-ins for alcohol and sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Because it's better for my kids and it's better for me.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

You needed that wake-up call. And you know, we're glad conversations where it's, you know, what what the enemy meant for evil, you turned it for good. And that's exactly what you know. You needed these unfortunate situations to happen to really snap you out of it and really give you that wake-up call that it's like, this isn't working. I need to change course come and change my life and be sober-minded and clear-minded and be able to figure out like how do I get myself out of this situation.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

But I I say this because this part does matter to me because I I do feel like that same friend that you know took me to the corona BD to begin with, like she's a drinker, whatever. Like, I do believe that this narrative about me probably got spun much, much bigger than it was. I believe that to be true. And my bout of drinking, it wasn't that long, you know. It wasn't like I was like this my whole life, but but it doesn't matter because it got me where it got me and it got me into some serious education and loving the programs that I now know that exist for these things. That's another thing to teach people. And then, you know, but but yeah, for like my peers and my my staff and things like that, like this wasn't this was not like who I was all the time. And even you, you saw me at my lowest. It I was I was so depressed and leaning on this substance, so so just don't do it. But the truth is, like, I believe that narrative ran crazy um and probably just didn't make me look great at all because it it it wasn't great. So um it's just another thing, like when you're dealing with someone who's against you, you just have to be so careful, just don't give them any inch to say anything negative about you. Keep your shit clean, your side of the street clean, do your job, be a good person. Obviously, like do your your job and being a mother is is the main thing. And my kids have been, you know, like just so happy and at peace and thriving. You know, I never thought that would happen with without without him, unfortunately. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:26

Um, so I know I've mentioned this to you because you've done like the programs and you've gone through rehab and stuff like that, and you know, you you take a lot of accountability for your drinking and like addiction and stuff like that. And I always told you it was like, I feel like your problems were not that you were an addict, it was like very situational drinking. And you know, once you finally were able to remove yourself from that situation, it was like you didn't need that coping mechanism anymore. So, like, how has your life changed now? Getting out of that situation, stopping drinking, like knowing what you what you know now, like what can you say to other people that are, you know, struggling with that or using that as a coping mechanism? Like, what what did you see, like the light at the end of the tunnel to get you to this point that you're at now?

SPEAKER_02 43:16

Just probably just like put the drink down. You know, honestly, it sounds like and if you have a problem putting the drink down, you probably have a problem. And that that was at a time for me it was like that. Like I was like, I don't know how to make it through a day without like a drink. Like that that's probably not normal. So yeah, if you're you have to like check in with yourself, like do this self-check and say and be honest with yourself, like brutally honest. Like if you cannot go a day without a drink, like yes, something might be very wrong. So so I would like start there and really try and like give yourself, you know, go a week or whatever. And um because yeah, people are normies. Like you can drink, like have social drinks, it's fine. Like you can, and I I probably I don't know if I could or not, but I would never chance it again. Um, when you go through this much, you know, uh, for me, the knowledge that I have now from just literally the the program, like I I mean, it's wild how much knowledge you have of what drinking does and just how bad it is, and like also just a ton of like your moral compass just changes throughout. You know, you realize like there are principles to life, and and we we need to do these principles in all of our affairs. Like, this is the way we need to practice life. So being brutally honest, making amends, all these things, they will like kind of transform you from the inside out. Um, and you just can't mess around with that. And again, I just go back to kids. It's like just um, you know, yeah, people are are gonna drink around kids, and that's that's like fine. Like you could drink right now, and I'm totally fine. I just choose not to, to be the mom that I want to be and to be present in every moment. And also, if you're drinking, people are gonna take advantage of you in every way. And that happened to me a lot. So I I feel like you just are a much, much, much stronger person, and probably I am the person that God intended me to be today to be able to protect these kids because I would have never in a million years like thought I could be this strong to stand up and walk away. And by the way, the last, I don't know, four or five months of us seeing each other, um, I don't know what his narrative was, but I was totally sober for those, and that's when truly, that's when I started my stuff, my body was like, this is so wrong. But if had I been drinking and numbing those feelings, I would not have seen it. Being able to tap into that instinct that you were feeling. It is powerful. Like all these things that I do now, like walking away and even yeah, the just not messing around with alcohol, it's powerful. It's you're taking power back.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

That that has been gone for quite some time. And and then you move forward in in a direction that's like of faith and being honest and doing the right thing all the time, like no matter what. And that doesn't mean that life doesn't get like messy. It's gonna get messy. We're gonna make mistakes, but yeah, you just it's it's better, you know, it's just so much better. And and you you will just be a stronger, especially for me, a stronger mom, a str just a stronger person in general. And the light really does, it will change. It doesn't seem like it, but it will change, it will all start coming together. And then you just stand on your feet and you're like shocked that you're there. And I and I'm shocked that we're able to now be here to educate anyone about any of these things. And there's always someone, something that someone can hear, right, from any story. Oh, yeah. So if I can give this story out, there is there are people I pray that can really take anything from from one compartment to another. Like, oh, this had this how she did this, or you know, because I would have never thought I could. That's the truth. I would have never thought I could do be where I'm at right now. There's just no way, and there is a way.

SPEAKER_03 47:06

Yeah, you know, so if there's a will, there's a way. That's right. Hi, Brittany here. And Sunny. If you have been enjoying our podcast episodes and want to know more, or you want us to talk about other subjects or dive into things that we have talked about, but you just want more clarity about, drop in the comments and let us know what you want us to talk about and what you want to hear on future podcast episodes.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

We are here to help and uh we pray that we can reach a lot of people. And definitely, um, I for sure am an open book about anything. So if you have any questions, you need help with anything, um, we are always here to educate and help you guys. And no one struggles alone.