Case Work & More

Music:  "Everything Is Working Out" by Sarah, the Illstrumentalist, licensed under Epidemic Sound.  Original work available at https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/tracks/d82030d0-11ae-4ed6-b8c0-54046531b869/.

In this episode, my wife and I sit down with Daisy, a case worker to talk about the realities of helping people through some of life's most difficult situations. We discuss what her job is really like, the challenges and rewards that come with it, and the lessons she's learned about resilience, human nature, and compassion. 

Beyond work, we also dive into everyday life, personal growth, friendships, hobbies, and what it takes to maintain balance while supporting others. It's an honest, thoughtful conversation filled with insights, laughs, and real-life perspective.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:06

This is Sergio Says It Straight. Straight talk. Real people. No filter. Say it straight or don't say it at all.

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode. Today, my guest is Daisy. We'll just say she's a friend, co-worker, uh, she's mother, right? Mother, and uh a bunch of other stuff that we're gonna we're gonna find out about her today, okay? Um, today we're just gonna have a conversation about a little bit about work, but a lot about life, okay? Uh, before we begin, I want to give a quick shout out. If you're a New York Knicks fan, congratulations to the New York Knicks. Uh, there's a couple people that I know that I've met throughout my life. Uh, Mrs. Aileen Taipe out there, New York Knicks fan. Uh, Johnson, my boy Johnson, if you're out there listening, congrats to your Knicks. I know it's been a long time coming. 53 years. I believe it's 53 years. Congratulations. Um, so I know you guys are probably still celebrating. So I wanted to go do a little quick shout-out out there. All right. Um, today, I think this is gonna be a very fun episode. I just kind of feel it. Uh, I don't know why. I just think we're gonna have a good time today, all right? So let's get straight into it. So, Daisy, welcome.

unknown 1:27

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_05 1:28

If you want to go ahead and kind of just give a brief brief intro about yourself, you know, a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Um, let's see. Well, my name's Daisy. I am 42 years old.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Um, let's see, what else? What else can I say about myself? Um, I have four kids. I have one daughter, I call her the queen, and I have my my kings. I have three boys. Um, and I uh currently work as a caseworker. And um, yeah, I just love life. I mean, I don't know. What do you want to know about me?

SPEAKER_05 1:59

Uh, just you know, like a little bit about yourself. Oh, by the way, also before I forget, I have a co-host today. So my wife is joining us. So, as I mentioned before in previous episodes, my wife will be joining us from time to time. And I think this is one of those good ones that she needs to be a co-host. So go ahead, Midlane, say what's up.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

Hi, everyone.

SPEAKER_05 2:16

That's it. Just hi.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Hi.

SPEAKER_05 2:19

All right. Um, Daisy, how was your weekend by the way?

SPEAKER_01 2:23

It was good.

SPEAKER_05 2:24

Anything interesting? Anything exciting?

SPEAKER_01 2:26

I'm not a Knicks fan.

SPEAKER_05 2:27

Okay. Oh, I'm not either. I'm not a Knicks fan either. But I just gotta throw it out there because I know there's the Knicks fans out there. I have to make it known.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

But I am a Boston Celtics fan.

SPEAKER_05 2:35

Oh, Bach boo.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Yeah, well, I mean, with uh the new team, I'm not a really big fan of, but I like the old one. Okay. So I like them, yeah. I don't know. That's where my heart's at.

SPEAKER_05 2:45

Laker fan here, so you know we're rivals. Big time Lakers fan. But I go back to the Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul, Jabar Days, okay, Kurt Rambus, old school, okay? So I know, I know my Lakers talk. This is not a sport show, but I just want to throw it out there, okay? Um, so like I said today, um, we're gonna get into just a little bit about yourself. Uh so tell us a little bit about what you do for a living.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Well, I am a caseworker. I have been a caseworker for gosh, what, uh almost 12 years.

SPEAKER_05 3:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

I got in the field by accident.

SPEAKER_05 3:21

Wait a minute. Did you just like trip one day, like, oh, I became a caseworker?

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Well, okay, so I most of my what working career was in banking. And I I'm not a math person. I hate math. I hate math, but for some odd reason, I've been in banking. I was in banking for gosh, like eight years. And then I became a caseworker. And then from there, it took me to the nonprofit sector and then been doing it ever since. So it's kind of very rewarding. Okay, it's healing.

SPEAKER_06 3:50

Where'd you go to school? Where'd you go to school for this?

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Antioch, Antioch University.

SPEAKER_05 3:53

Where's that? Can you explain what that's Santa Barbara? Oh, Santa Barbara. Okay. So we're in we're in the central coast here. Uh, of course, not all our guests and listeners are from this area. So Antioch, what big college, little college?

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Um, it's a private, private college.

SPEAKER_05 4:06

Private, okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Um, uh, my degree is actually in liberal studies.

SPEAKER_05 4:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

And emphasis in liberal arts. So it's mostly like a degree that teachers get. Okay. Um, but I get so bored. So I thought, why don't I just get something broad and that was very broad. Okay. And so you take a bunch of different classes in child development, psychology, uh, world religions. It's just a bunch of everything. And so got my bachelor's in that and my master's in human services.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

Oh, so you have a master's too.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:31

Oh, so you spend a lot of money on education, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Uh uh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:36

Not to get too deep, but are you still paying for school loans by any chance?

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Oh my gosh, yes. But um, I am in the loan forgiveness, so hopefully my bachelor's gets in October. But then that means I have another 10 years for my master's, so it's okay.

SPEAKER_05 4:48

Oh my gosh. I don't know why it's like that, though. Like everybody should have their education paid for. I mean, especially if you're gonna be doing something good for the community. I mean, why not, right? Why not pay for everybody's college?

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Yes, if you pay taxes, I think education should be free, but that's just my theory.

SPEAKER_05 5:02

No, that's a good point. Yeah, that's a good point. Did you have something to add on that with the college and uh education?

SPEAKER_03 5:07

No, I just want to say congratulations, a lot of hard work. Great example for your kids, too. So power to you.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Yeah, they know better. I say mommy requires a bachelor's, and if you get a master's, that's icing on the cake.

SPEAKER_05 5:19

So there you go. So, yeah, kids are probably proud of you and everybody else that knows you and your family. Um, and so the way that I met Daisy is obviously a co-worker. Uh, but the first time I met Daisy, I was like, man, this girl is full of energy. She's lively. Uh, she just looks like someone who likes to have fun, someone who just enjoys life. And you actually remind me of one of my cousins. A shout out to Anwami. She's the type of girl that's the life of the party. And I think you're that type of person. Am I wrong?

SPEAKER_01 5:51

No, I think you're right. I mean, I'm not trying to be cocky or anything, but I life is so short. Like, people just need to have fun, man, and not take things seriously. Like, yeah, I work in the nonprofit sector, but outside of work, like it's fair game. Like, let's just have fun, enjoy it. Cause you never know when it's time for you to go. You just don't know.

SPEAKER_05 6:08

Yeah, you can't. I think, yeah, one thing that I've learned is you can't be so uptight in life. I I used to be a little bit more like, uh, but my wife, she always gets mad at me because she's like, just enjoy it. Like, why are you thinking about this and that? And honestly, when you're around people like you, it kind of rubs off.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:25

So thank you for being a fun person.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Oh, yeah, he's the worry word, and I have to constantly remind them like, snap out of it, enjoy life, enjoy the moment. Yeah, really. Yep.

SPEAKER_05 6:36

So, Daisy, if you had to describe yourself in a word or two, whatever, how would you describe yourself to the public?

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Oh gosh, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_05 6:45

Uh like I already described you, so that's my thoughts of you. But what do you think of yourself, though?

SPEAKER_01 6:51

I think spunky because that's a good word, you know, spunky, like spunky booster, just oh funky booster, yeah. Sponky spunky. Yeah, so it's spunky and energetic.

SPEAKER_05 7:02

Okay. Um, is there something about you that people assume that they get completely wrong?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, I've gotten airhead, I've gotten uh someone doesn't take life too serious. But the interesting part is remember I told you I did banking?

SPEAKER_05 7:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

So I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to that.

SPEAKER_05 7:22

Like so you like the numbers.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

I hate numbers. Oh, you hate numbers, but I like to spend.

SPEAKER_05 7:27

Oh, wait, wait. So you're telling me that all girls like to spend money?

SPEAKER_01 7:32

No, I'm just kidding. No, I like to spend, but I also like to make sure that everything's paid before I spend. So I literally sit down, I analyze what comes in, what goes out, and then after that, then it's fair game. But see, people don't get that from me. They think, oh, she doesn't care, she just likes spending money. It's like, no, no, no, all the bills are paid, everything else is fair game.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Yeah, yeah, you're just like me on that aspect. And also, since you were a banker for so many years, do you have a lot of tips, knowledge on how to expand your wealth, oh goodness, invest properly?

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Retirement for sure. You gotta invest in retirement, always have to have something there because you never know.

SPEAKER_05 8:10

Yeah, that's very important. Retirement because once you're done, like you want to be set. Yes, you don't want to have to go and nothing wrong with individuals that are in their 60s and working. I mean, if that's what they want to do, but if you if it's a must to survive, like I just feel bad for that person.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:27

Like you shouldn't be in that situation.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

I have a coworker, she's really, really good with numbers. And uh, when I started working at the agency I work at, she was telling me about how I need to invest in the company. And so she told me how many years we needed to be there to be vested in the company to collect our pension. And so she asked me to check into my social security and I was like, what's that? And then she talked about uh points and how many points you have to pay into it. I had no idea. I mean, mind you, I did banking, but I didn't know how social security worked. Thank goodness for all my years in banking, because banking paid all my points in my 20s.

SPEAKER_06 9:01

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 9:02

So now that you're in the nonprofit sector, right? They don't pay into social security. So that's something that people don't know that you have to look into that because you don't want to be at 67 or whatever the age is to retirement, and you're like, oh, I'm gonna get my social security. And then you're like, well, no, you can't because you didn't pay into it. So that's little tricks that people don't know.

SPEAKER_05 9:21

And it's a good thing somebody actually taught you, took the time, because not everybody does that.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Yes. So she did teach me. So I know 63, I'm out.

SPEAKER_05 9:30

Done.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Done. Give me that pension.

SPEAKER_05 9:32

What are your plans? I know it's quite a ways away, but what do you want to do when you retire?

SPEAKER_01 9:38

I want to freelance it. I want to teach at, you know, a college because I can. Okay. Or sub because I can, because you know those little pieces of papers we went to school for? Those allow me to get and then um also I just want to be a grandma. If I have the opportunity to be a grandma, I want to like just chill, like take turns of each kid, whoever needs a babysitter. All right, and just freelance it, just have fun.

SPEAKER_05 10:03

So, speaking about being a grandmother, yeah, you have children, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:07

I have four.

SPEAKER_05 10:08

Do you want to talk a little bit about that? And you don't have to if you don't want to, but if you want to just do a shout out.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Well, the funny part, I never wanted to have kids. That's the funny part. Really? Yeah, yeah. Really? I did. I never wanted to get married. I never wanted to have kids.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

I wanted to travel the world. I couldn't tell that because when you walked into this room, you were showing me pictures of your kids and telling me all about them. I would think you were a natural mother, you know, born to be that. No, but you know what?

SPEAKER_01 10:33

I love those kids. That's the weird thing. Like, I, you know, I'll tell you a story. When I've had my my son, right? I was married six years before I had kids. And um, I remember everybody's like, oh, the love you feel when you're pregnant, blah, blah. Nah, I don't believe that one bit. I do not. I think that's a bunch of bogus stuff. But maybe, maybe it is. I don't know. I didn't feel that. I just thought, you know, you're growing a human, you're feeding it, you're doing what you need to do. This is cool. Like, it's pretty cool. And I remember when they put him on my chest, I looked at it and it looked at me and I was like, ugh. And I and I remember what I said. I said, You don't know me, and I don't know you, but we're gonna get through this together, kid. And let me tell you, as the days went by, as the years and the hours, I learned what true love is. There's just no explanation. I cannot explain it. Like, and now I have four, and they're just really cool things. Like, they're awesome, little, cool, little people.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

When you continue to have kids, since you had already made that connection with your first kid, yeah, did you experience the same thing with your other ones, or was it automatic love?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Uh, I was it was different because each kid's so different. Yeah, and and when people say, Oh, you love each kid the same, I don't believe that because they're so unique. It depends on where you're at in life, the your upbringing, your traumas that you're experiencing in those moments. So the relationship I have with my daughter is completely different than my than my boy, because he's you know, I'm a Latina, you have your first boy, he's your baby, like that's what it is. So, and then my queen comes along and she's my daughter, and I have to protect her and I have to make sure she's fine. And then my other two are boys, and yeah, they're fine, you know. It's the third one, it's the fourth one, so it'll be good.

SPEAKER_05 12:17

Yeah, like just rub some dirt on it. Yeah, you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

You're fine.

SPEAKER_05 12:20

Yeah, I think as a parent, as uh the first one, like you're super, super careful about everything. Yeah, you're all what do they call those helicopter parents? You're hovering around them, and then by the time you have your fourth, you're like, okay, whatever. Just shake it off, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:34

You're fine. Is it bleeding? No, no, it's not bleeding, it's not that serious.

SPEAKER_05 12:38

Okay, we don't have to go to the emergency room. We're good. All right, Daisy. Um, let's kind of get into a little bit about um like your work. Yes. So you're a caseworker. Yes. Um, I think you you already mentioned that you were in you were in banking and then you got into you went to school, you got into social work. Uh, was there anything else that drew you to it or something specific?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

I think just seeing people at their lowest and seeing that you can make a change in their life, even if it's just a little change at that moment, yeah, you have an effect on these people. And one example of that is when I got to where I'm at now at the company that I work with, I was going through a really rough time. And I remember going to these homes and seeing what these families were going through. And I realized, you know what? I'm not going through anything. I can get through what I'm going through, right? But what they're going through is just like rough. And so I always say social work saved my life. And I'm not saying that I was like in any form or shape, like in this like horrible state of mind, but it saved my life because it was healing for me.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

And so I was able to use personal things in my life to connect with these families that were going through. And we kind of healed at the same time.

SPEAKER_05 13:55

It's it's kind of hard to so would you say like put things in perspective for you in a way?

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Oh, completely. Completely.

SPEAKER_05 14:01

Yeah. Sometimes I think uh you feel like you're in a certain situation, but then when you step away and you look back, you're like, dude, why was I even worried about that? Why was I why did I even care? You know, like those people have it bad. You know, people that are obviously on the streets or they don't have you know money or whatever the case is. There are people that are really struggling. It just kind of makes you think, like, dude, I'm so selfish.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

You know what I mean? Like that's I'm just talking for myself, but I think sometimes we we we kind of have to step back and look at that and look at it that way.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:34

All right. Um what's something that people don't understand about being a caseworker?

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Um, well, we carry large caseloads. A lot of the time families think that their emergency is the most important emergency, right? But everybody has an emergency. Um, you want to get to them and help them out, but also at the same time, you have to take care of yourself. Because if you're not able to take care of yourself, how are you able to help out families? And that's a lot of the thing that people don't understand is that being a caseworker, there's a lot of burnout. A lot of burnout because the cases keep piling up, but there's just only one person managing all this stuff.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

So now, do you think that um when people burn out, like you say, they start to burn out? Of course, you probably start losing some of that passion, maybe. Maybe I don't know. Do you think people I wouldn't say skip corners, but do you think the work changes a little bit?

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Uh you start cutting corners.

SPEAKER_05 15:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

You start trying to make things um as easiest and fastest as possible as you can. Um, but the relationship part, you're you're you're losing that that connection with family.

SPEAKER_05 15:44

And that's very important, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 15:46

Um, so what keeps you motivated?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

I think I always look at work as fun. You know, you spend eight plus hours at work, you might as well have fun. And so I think being around positive people like yourself, because we work together. Um I think it makes it easier, you know.

SPEAKER_05 16:04

But I'm not always positive though.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yeah, you are. He's positive.

SPEAKER_05 16:07

Sometimes um is there what what uh what have you learned throughout the years in in your profession that surprises you about people? It could, it could, it doesn't have to be like one specific thing, but can you think of anything that's has surprised you?

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Okay, well, I could think of a positive and I could think of a negative. I guess a positive is that people can choose their path if they really want to, they can succeed. And I've seen it. It's it's I had a situation where this uh I remember going into this home and uh the girl had just graduated Hancock College and she said, I'm done. And I looked at her and I'm just a caseworker or just going in and getting information. And I said, What do you mean you're done? And she's like, I'm done. And I said, No, you're not. You need to get a bachelor's degree. She's like, No, I'm I'm done. And I said, No, you need to get that. I said, because then you can get a better job. And I don't know what else I said in the in between that. Long story short, she got her bachelor's degree. And when I talked to her, she says, Daisy, you changed my life. Well, you changed my life.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

You made an impact, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Yeah, and that that's the cool thing. Uh, the negative part that you see is when uh you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

SPEAKER_06 17:25

That's like very, very true.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Yes, and you can keep leading that horse, but man, those horses are stubborn. They are, and it and it drives you crazy. And that's when you experience burnout where you're just like, come on, man, get together.

SPEAKER_05 17:38

And you can experience that in so many different ways, not just work, yes, but in in life in general. Yeah. Relationships, uh, anything you can think of, really. Okay, Daisy. Now, like I said, I I didn't want to spend too much time with uh, you know, your profession because we want to get to know like what's Daisy like, you know, in in outside of work.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

So so who is Daisy when you're off the clock on the weekends? If you could just kind of summarize who's Daisy.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

I am a 90s kid. I swear, like my heart stayed in the 90s, it's stuck there. I roll a blade, I just love to have fun watching nostalgic things. Like, yeah, I I know it's silly. You I need to grow up. Yeah, but those are good years. Like, people say the 80s were good, the 70s were good. 90s were bombs.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

No, I love the 90s.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Y2K, you thought the world was gonna end when it hit 2000. It was just awesome, awesome.

SPEAKER_05 18:29

Yeah, uh, I think I I've I think I'm like you. I think I'm kind of stuck in the 90s myself, specifically with like music. Yes, like I don't know what it is. There's don't get me wrong, there's some good music out there, but I man, the 90s, man, we brought it.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Rap music definitely has some good music. Yes, the rap music was awesome. I mean, too short. Like, come on.

SPEAKER_06 18:53

Is that your go-to? Yeah, too short.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

I'm a northern California chick, so yeah.

SPEAKER_06 18:57

Yes, what about E40?

SPEAKER_01 18:59

I like them too. I mean, I I like anything, anything is good, but it's just even the beats were better.

SPEAKER_05 19:05

Oh, yeah, just I think people were just more creative then, and not just at the 90s, but like in the like even 80s, people were just more creative. Now, I think it's like with all this technology, AI, synthesizers, whatever, voice, uh, what do you call those things? I think audio tune, audio, auto tune. Yeah, like you you don't really need that much talent nowadays, I think. Yeah, now there's talented people out there, but I think not everybody has a talent to be successful without these tools that they have around them.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_05 19:45

But yeah, 90s is the best. Any uh besides besides E40 and and too short, uh, anything else that you can come that comes to mind?

SPEAKER_01 19:53

I don't know. I mean genuine.

SPEAKER_05 19:55

Genuine. So you like to you were into the RB stuff too.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Well, if you think about it, okay, so little Kim. I love little Kim. I mean, but they said, Oh, she was so dirty and so this not to what they have now. I mean, little Kim was PG.

SPEAKER_05 20:10

I'm like, I mean, that's just what I and at the time you're like, whoa, yeah, little Kim, yeah, okay. But you know, it was different at the time though, yeah. I mean because you didn't hear women, you know, rapping like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Or the lollipop song.

SPEAKER_05 20:26

I mean, that she was basically talking like a guy, yeah. And that just was unheard of. Yeah, but now you have Cardi B, and she's well, Cardi B, she's yeah, I mean, she she should she shows a lot of a lot of body. Yeah, you know, if you have it, whatever, flaunt it, right? To each their own, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 20:42

I think I learned a lot about anatomy with uh Cardi B.

SPEAKER_05 20:45

With Cardi B, yeah. Um and I'm not talking bad about Cardi B, it's just you know, to each their own.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:50

Um, so what's your ideal day off? If you're off on a weekend or whatever, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Well, okay, I'm a mom, so I know it sounds silly, but I do like cleaning. I'm a I love cleaning.

SPEAKER_05 21:02

You know what? That is go ahead, go ahead. I'll let my wife speak on that.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

We could talk a lot about that. Yeah, it's like relaxing, therapeutic. Like when you see a house clean, it's like you just feel like good energy, like it's just great. So put your mind at ease.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Yeah, love the smell of a clean house. You're ready, you're ready for whatever comes on next.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Yes, and then uh watching, like if I just don't want to think, I will put like love is blind or something that is just like the so you like to binge watch. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's good stuff.

SPEAKER_05 21:35

What other shows have you been into recently or anything you recommend out there that you've watched that's like, oh yeah, you gotta watch this.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

I think love is blind is interesting. I don't know if you guys have seen it or they're in the pods.

SPEAKER_05 21:46

I've heard of it, but I have it. Oh, you know what? My sister was watching it. Yeah, but I I I didn't, you know, we watched a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Yeah, well, where they they there's a wall and you just know each other by talking. Uh huh. But and then they like fall in love, which I I'm very skeptical. About that, you know, I think love is a feeling, not not even a feeling. I think it's more like a decision, you know. And then the fact that it's like you meet them and instantly it's like you're like, oh, I'm not attracted to them, or I am attracted to them. It's like, I don't know about that. But it's just interesting to see how they react, their body languages towards each other.

SPEAKER_05 22:17

And and where can you catch that one? Um on Netflix. Netflix, okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Yeah, so that's good.

SPEAKER_05 22:23

All right. Um, is there anything interesting that you do that people would be like, Whoa, you do that? Hobbies or anything? Just anything in general, like, damn, I didn't know you did that, Daisy or or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

You're really making me dig.

SPEAKER_05 22:35

I you have to think in this. I know.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

I don't really sit and like us moms don't really sit and analyze ourselves because you know what? There's no time. There isn't. It's like we lose ourselves when we're moms. Like, I remember before I had kids, I was like, I did this and this and this and this and that. Now it's like, huh? What? Uh I see, what do what do you well? I I love to roll a blade. I know people at my age don't roll a blade anymore, or they just think they can't because they won't feel they're gonna break something.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

That's what I was just gonna say. I stopped doing that because I was afraid I was gonna fall and break something.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Well, there was a sad story that happened with my coworker. We well, my friends, we went rollerblading and um, yeah, one fell and like uh fractured his wrist. I felt horrible, horrible. So, yes, um, there are some things that can happen. The horrible.

SPEAKER_05 23:20

And so, okay. When you're out there socializing, yes, all right, maybe you're with a group of friends, maybe you're by yourself, right? What kind of social person are you?

SPEAKER_01 23:35

I would say happy.

SPEAKER_05 23:36

Do you go up to people and just start talking to random strangers?

SPEAKER_01 23:40

It depends how much alcohol there's involved.

SPEAKER_05 23:42

Oh, okay. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

I am uh uh when I love everybody. When I I but but the thing is, I know my limit. This is my theory. When my cheeks start feeling numb, that's the sign to stop drinking.

SPEAKER_05 23:54

So you don't feel your cheeks.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

My cheeks, and I use the word coherent. So once that word comes out, you know Daisy's gone.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

So when I hear you say, I don't feel my cheeks, I'm thinking, damn, we have to rush this person to the hospital.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Oh, no, no, no. No, like I'll feel numb. I'll like tap my cheek and I'm like, okay, we're good now. And then if I say, Hey, I'm not, I'm not buzz, I'm coherent, you know I'm I'm buzzed.

SPEAKER_05 24:17

It's time to cut it off at that point.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

No, I mean, I'm still having fun. I've I've never been like a blackout person or anything. I'm not a I'm not one of those like drunks that is like wants to fight or anything. I just like I'll love, I'll start making like plans. Hey, let's go on vacation here. Oh, well, did you guys buy this? Or that's that's I'm just a happy person.

SPEAKER_05 24:34

Are you the I love you person?

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Uh no, no, those ones annoy me.

SPEAKER_05 24:38

Yeah, because when they get too close and everybody loves everybody, it's like, okay, dude.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Yeah, like there's still boundaries, you know, because you have to you even though when I'm drinking, I still read the room. Because remember, I said I try to be coherent at word, right? And and knowing that I can say that word, it's like, okay, be aware of your surroundings. Be okay. Because once you be go beyond that, that's where I mean you have to respect your audience. There can be a couple there, there can be uh maybe a couple that's fighting. Just be aware because you don't want to be the cause of a problem between a couple. That's just stay away.

SPEAKER_05 25:14

Okay. Yeah. All right. Um, do you consider yourself to be a good friend? And do you have a lot of friends?

SPEAKER_01 25:21

I do. I do. I the problem with me is I I speak my mind.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

And I don't have a really good poker face. So, like, if you want me to be fake, it's hard for me. Which I wish I had that talent. Oh my gosh, you know how good it'd be to have a poker face? I just don't have it.

SPEAKER_05 25:37

I don't have it either. So don't worry.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

I hate it. And then, and then, and then you say the truth, and then you're the bad person. It's like, well, if you want in my opinion, oh, you shouldn't have said it that way. Well, well, then what's the whole point of being a friend? You want to meet a sugarcoat it? Yeah, it's like I can't sugarcoat it.

SPEAKER_05 25:52

Uh, do you have long-lasting friendships that you've had since you were little or for long periods of time?

SPEAKER_01 25:59

I do, I do.

SPEAKER_05 26:00

And uh, what do you think is the key to those?

SPEAKER_01 26:04

You know, I think everybody says communication. I think communication is the one the it's important, but also the action that comes with the communication. Because if you don't have the action, then what's the point of actually communicating? You know, because a lot of people, oh, I communicate, but it's like, okay, but what are your actions? Okay, and I feel like if there's an action, it helps out.

SPEAKER_05 26:24

Um do you think people like naturally gravitate towards you? Uh in any kind of setting, I would just anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

I mean, I could I but then I sound cocky sane. No, no, there's nothing wrong with that. People gravitate to me all the time.

SPEAKER_05 26:41

No, no, you know, some people just have really good energy.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Okay, so you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 26:45

That's what I mean by that.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Yeah, I think so. I think so, because I I'll give you a good example. My daughter's at uh girls' camp, and so you know, I have a minivan, guys. I have a minivan. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 26:55

And I just kid, nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

And I was supposed to be a driver to the girls' camp, and I don't even know these girls, and they all wanted to go in my minivan. And I said, What is it with all these girls wanting to go in my minivan? And they're like, Oh, we just want to go with Daisy. And I'm like, okay, was it my sunglasses? Because I have these like macho man sunglasses on. Like, what is it?

SPEAKER_05 27:14

You're about to go to a wrestling match?

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah, I'm telling you, I have big macho man glasses. Just need a slim gym.

SPEAKER_05 27:22

No, but uh like there's nothing wrong with the minivan, obviously, right? Yeah, but uh when I don't know, this is something that my wife had talked about in the past. Like, for me, like when I if the day that I have a minivan, it's like, dude, that's it. You might as well start wearing the khakis on the weekends and the new balance shoes. And you know what I'm saying? Like, for me, nothing wrong with the minivan. And some of those minivans are actually pretty cool now. Oh there's tons, they have like the the what is it, the kids?

SPEAKER_01 27:54

The sports utilities, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:57

Um but I don't know. It's just the just something about having a van. I just can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Well, see, I went, okay, two kids. I had an FJ Toyota, FJ Cruiser, and then from there, I had a BMW. And then when I had the third kid, I got a four series BMW. I went from a three series to four series. I was like, gives me a little bit more room.

SPEAKER_04 28:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Baby comes out, and I'm like, I need a minivan. And and then my husband, he's like, Are you kidding me? I go, I need a minivan. I don't care what it is, I just need a minivan.

SPEAKER_06 28:26

Practicality needs.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

I just need to throw these kids in there in the car seats. And then the fourth kid comes and I needed a bigger minivan. So this minivan carries eight people. It is awesome. It is like you just thrash it, you just don't even care.

SPEAKER_05 28:40

No, yeah. Minivans, they're actually pretty cool. They are. I mean, they're very spacious. They got the the what do they call those bucket seats that you can kind of like turn around. What do you call those captain seats?

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Captain seats, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:51

Those are pretty cool, and and yeah, they are very spacious. Uh, but I think it's just like a uh a psyche thing for me. I don't, I don't know, babe. I don't know what you think about. Would you ever have a minivan?

SPEAKER_03 29:02

Honestly, no, not to talk about anybody who does have a minivan, but that's just not me. Like, and we have four kids and they played sports, and we've traveled a lot, and it probably will be a lot easier to be in a minivan because when we travel, we rent a minivan, right? But I don't think we ever purchased one for ourselves, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:24

But uh, and what kind of minivan? Do you want to do some advertisement? So if you're looking for a good minivan, so you're a sienna, I'm telling you. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 29:31

I've heard your sister wanted one of her, yes.

SPEAKER_05 29:34

Yes, my sister wanted one of those. She was actually on a waiting list. So, Anna, if you're out there, I don't know. Do you still want that minivan? She did talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

I'm telling you. Well, didn't she have a minivan before?

SPEAKER_05 29:46

She did. She, I think she had a Honda.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

Yeah, and then she said she regret getting rid of it and then wanted another minivan. I know I had this conversation with her.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Yeah, because I I'm the minivan lady now.

SPEAKER_05 29:56

Okay. Now let's get out of the minivan conversation. I don't know. For me, it's just that's a fun conversation for me. But, anyways, um, what's something that you believed in your 20s that now you're like, no way. I I I don't even know what I was thinking back then.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

Oh gosh. Okay, so you uh, well, let's see. Marriage. Marriage is a good one.

SPEAKER_06 30:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

I I got married at 21, my first marriage. Um, was married 10 years, and if I can go, I mean, and I don't regret it. I I I can honestly tell you, I had a good marriage. I felt I had a good marriage, a life was great, but you know, people change, things happen. And so I don't regret being married. I think that with uh darkness comes light, and out of that darkness came a lot of light, a lot of self-growth for me. Um, I have two beautiful kids out of it, but if I can go back, remember I told you I never wanted to get married, I wanted to travel. I wish I would have listened to that. You know, because your body does keep the score. Tell us more. Yeah. I wish I want to know more. I wish I would have listened to that, that, that little Daisy that would say, I I used to say I I was a bird and I didn't want to be caged in a cage.

SPEAKER_05 31:10

Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

Yeah, and and yeah, but if I can go back, I'd say, Daisy, don't get married at that age. Wait till you're 28. I was 28 when I had my first kid. So, you know, that's kind of a little older, I guess. I mean, I don't know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 31:22

I mean, I mean, no, I mean, now that's not old nowadays, no.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Well, no, because I popped out the last one at 41. So no, it's not old.

SPEAKER_05 31:28

It's not old, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

But like, if I can go back and tell myself something, I'd say, hold off on getting married, still continue to date, really get to know the person. Not that he's a bad person, because he really isn't. We co-parent very well. I mean, it wasn't always the best in the beginning, but we co-parent very well. Um, but that's what I would tell myself. And that's actually what I just told my daughter today is like, hey, people are gonna tell you you gotta get married, people are gonna tell you you gotta have kids. You don't don't don't feel like you have to be the specific mold because you're not, you know.

SPEAKER_05 31:58

Yeah, it's not it's not cookie cutter for everybody. Like everybody has their own their own road, yeah, their own ideas. So yeah, you don't have to be, you don't have to follow.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

And and it's good to date. I mean, it's get to know the person, and you're never gonna know a person. I mean, like your guys' podcast, it's every uh the one that I listened to, which is amazing.

SPEAKER_06 32:18

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

And it's just the the how you guys support each other, and it's just amazing to see that is that every year you're growing, every day is a new thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:27

And then, and of course, there's those moments where we wanna she wants to strangle me. Yeah, you know, but that's marriage, that's marriage, you know, that's normal, that's it's expected. Um, and then but you learn, you know, you learn and you try to be a better person, obviously. But I mean, I can't sit here and say that, oh man, it's been such a fun ride and it's been all you know roses and whatever, uh, because I would be lying to you. Yeah, you know. Um, I've we've had our moments where you know I, you know, wasn't the best, you know, I wasn't at my best, and I know I wasn't at my best, and I put her through a lot of things that I shouldn't have, you know. Uh hindsight, what is it, hindsight 2020? You look back and you're like, damn, dude, what was I thinking? When you're younger, I think that I for me specifically, I used to have the mentality when I was in my early 20s. Like I needed to have this big circle of friends, like big big socializing, uh, always having to throw the parties and this and that. And now that I look back, I'm like, dude, that that's not even important. Uh, to me now it's more about like my wife, my family. But sometimes you lose yourself and you think like certain things are more important, you know, material things, money. Uh, oh, I gotta have this car, I gotta have that house, whatever. And sometimes I think you lose yourself. So, and that's marriage is part of it. Marriage is part of it, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

It's interesting you said because how you said, you know, I always thought I had to have like all these parties and all these friends. And me growing up, my mom always said in Spanish, Los amigos los puedes contar en una mano y hasta te sobran dedos. Meaning your friends, your true friends, you can count them in one hand and you still have fingers left over. And that is real, the reality. I mean, you really think about it now at your age, you can count your friends with one hand.

SPEAKER_03 34:19

Yeah. Yeah. That's where we're at right now. And those who you do count, they're more than friends.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 34:24

They're the chosen family, right?

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Yeah. So, and going back to the marriage, I think it's something that you decide on every day. You have to decide and uh continue to work towards it. Yes. And if you find something in each other that you know it's worth fighting for, then that's where you continue.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Yes. Someone said uh marriage is like a business transaction. And I thought, what? That's kind of jacked up. But if you really think about it, if you own a business, you have to show up every single day. You have to make sure because you can't just own a business and just think it's gonna be fruitful, it's gonna provide you money, it's gonna do this. It's not, but you have to work at it every single day. So, yeah, marriage is a business transaction. If you really think about it, you sign a contract.

SPEAKER_05 35:05

Yeah, it is a contract.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

It's a contract, like through sickness and hell or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 35:10

What is it, sicker and poorer?

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Yeah, it's somewhere there. Somewhere in the Bible.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

I don't know all the words, but yeah, you're right. Um so looking back in early 20s, grown now. Um is there any advice you would give you now would give 20-something-year-old you any kind of advice?

SPEAKER_00 35:39

Give yourself grace and don't self-deprecate yourself. I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

And the reason why is because my my best friend, Vanessa, I know you're probably gonna hear this and you're gonna make me cry because I always cry. It's okay. She, when I met her, I was going through my divorce with my my first husband, and um, I remember I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I just I just couldn't look at myself in the mirror. And you don't really realize how much drama or how much you're carrying in you. And she is very good at calling me out on things. And and and it's awesome because she does it in such a some people would be like, oh my gosh, she's being mean, but I love when someone calls me out because it's just growth. You know, like when my Spanish is my first language. So grammatically, who doesn't screw up in the English language? It's such a hard language.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Hard. And so she always uh when we text, she'll say your, she corrects my your or my two, and and she it she'll say, like, hey, you know, and I'm I love it because you're making me grow. You're making you're correcting me. And so one of the things that she brought up to my attention, she says, Why do you self-deprecate yourself? And of course, being Latin, I'm like, pues que es eso, que es eso, and so I always ask her, like, what does that mean? And she'll explain to me, or maybe I understand it in Spanish, but I can't compute it in English. And so, yeah, I think us women, we self-deprecate ourselves a lot, and I think it's a cultural thing if you really think about it.

SPEAKER_05 36:59

Okay, yeah. I was gonna say, why do you think that is? You think it's because you grew up in a Mexican-American household?

SPEAKER_01 37:05

Yeah, yeah, because think about it. Uh, women were made to serve, women are made to do this. See, no seas mensa e lava los trastes, yas, y el otro. And it just feels like as a woman, we're just nagged on a lot. And and you know what? And I'm telling you this because I have a daughter and I tend to do the same thing that my mom did. And I'm like, oh my gosh, it's the trauma, the generational trauma that we're creating on our children. Yeah, and we try to stop it and we're like, pero como? Like, but our parents didn't have the tools, and now we have the tools. But I mean, remember I said you can't uh teach an old dog new tricks? It is so hard for us women to stop that behavior from happening constantly. So yeah, we self-deprecate all the time. Yeah. So we na mensa, I'm an idiot. I can't get this, but it's like, no, we're not idiots, we're smart, we're just being too hard on ourselves. So, yeah, going back, don't be too hard on yourself and don't self-deprecate yourself.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

I like that. Yeah, and like you said, give yourself grace because you know, so much we feel like so much is expected from us that we have the world in our on our shoulders, right? Yes, and we have to act a certain way and do a certain thing. But what happens if we just don't?

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yeah. I mean, you think about it. When we come into this earth, we're like a blueprint. Your your name is Daisy. You were born in East Los Angeles, you um have this mom and this dad and all these siblings, and it's a blueprint. We're already here with a blueprint, but who are we really? Like, what is our core? If you remove all that, you're just an empty canvas. Who are you? So that's a lot of self-healing, a lot of internal things that you have to dig through and say, Qui soy? Who am I? What do I like? What do I not like? And so I think that when you don't do that at a young age, then you have kids and then you get married, and then you get married again. And then if you get divorced again and you look back and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm lost. Who am I?

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Who am I? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

Am I a mother? But without being a mother, quién soy.

SPEAKER_05 39:02

Yeah, and I think going back to like growing up Mexican-American for females, I think there's a lot of body shaming too.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Oh, completely.

SPEAKER_05 39:10

Uh, so and I know we have we've had this conversation. My wife and I have had this conversation about, you know, I'm not gonna name names or anything, but family members that are like, dude, why are you telling them that? That that's gonna cause psychological damage down the road. Um, and why can't you just be happy that they're doing whatever that, you know, uh they're not in the streets, but you're gonna focus on weight or this and that. Like, why do we do that as Mexican Americans and or Mexicans in general? And do you think that we're doing a better job now than when how you guys, you ladies grew up and how we grew up, or you think it's the same?

SPEAKER_01 39:46

Um, I think it's a little different because if you think about it, you know, we didn't have social media there. And so if my you know, my mom was uh the Jane Fonda era, yeah, exercising. And and it was like, what was it, a party in the front, nothing in the back. The more flaquita, the better. That's what it was. And I remember growing up, my mom always had us exercising. You gotta exercise, you gotta take care of your health, you gotta blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. My sister was a little bit mass, uh, you know, a little bit mas grosita. She she had a beautiful body, but my she was a little thicker. And my mom, I remember, I can I can still remember. We were in the kitchen, and my sister said something really stupid in my mom, and I was like, dude, this is not gonna go good. My mom's gonna go at you, gangster style. So we're sitting there, and my mom said, Go to the pantry, get some plastic wrap, and wrap it around your stomach so you can start sweating.

SPEAKER_04 40:31

Oh, wow!

SPEAKER_01 40:32

And I was like, Oh, I couldn't believe my mom said that. I mean, I was like, Oh, so was that okay with my mom saying that?

SPEAKER_05 40:40

No, I mean, absolutely not, obviously not.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Horrible, but nowadays, it's like it's so much in your face, yeah. I mean, it's it's social media, and and like you feel like you have to be a certain weight, you have to have bigger lips, you have to have your eyelashes lifted or laminated, your brows, like your your fillers in your cheekbones, and and it's like tummy tucks, and you see younger kids, like younger without even even any kids yet, just doing that to their bodies, and it's like, no, like no, you're you're beautiful, like yeah, and I like my crow's feet and my little wrinkles, you know. It's uh I earn them.

SPEAKER_05 41:19

And I think, like you mentioned, social media, right? Yeah, I think it just puts more pressure on the young females and the young, you know, teenagers. Yes. Um because that's what's out there, that's what's expected, that's what they say is what's what do you call it? Uh people want that.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

Yeah, that's what is supposed to be a definition of beauty, uh, whatever you want to call it. And it's just I I don't know. If we didn't have social media, would it still be this way? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Yeah, I mean so. You think so? Yeah, because before social media, we had the magazines. I was gonna say magazines, we had the television shows, right? And every era, what the standards of beauty change. Yeah, so you have women decade after decade after decade changing who they are, trying to be what is in the end right now, and it's a never-ending story. Yes, and unfortunately, it's just not women right now either. It's it's men too. Yes, and we don't know what's real anymore.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

It's true, and then the thing is that for some odd reason, now it's easily accessible. Like you really think about it, you know, credit cards. Oh my goodness, credit card companies know how to target you. And it's like, get a credit card here, I'll just put it, buy later, no interest. And it's like, let's charge it. And uh what is it? The the uh doctor's offices, what is it called? The uh flex pending, uh Benny Fending. I can't even remember flex pending.

SPEAKER_06 42:48

What is it for?

SPEAKER_01 42:49

What is it for like uh procedures to get done? Like I forgot what like to suck like a payment plan, yeah. Like a payment or something like that.

SPEAKER_05 42:58

I was gonna say to suck fat.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 43:00

But I mean, they are sucking, they are sucking your wallet though.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

Yeah, but if you really think about it, it's more accessible now for younger people to get it. And and back then you had to have money to do it.

SPEAKER_05 43:11

Yeah, credit, credit has ruined a lot of people out there. Yes. Uh, and if you're not careful, you can end up on the streets, really. I mean, think about it. People go bankrupt all the time uh because they can't afford their life.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:23

Um, and especially with this economy that we're living in right now, uh, you really gotta you know be careful how you spend your money. So um, yeah, so I I know we kind of got a little deep there with that. We kind of got a little psych trip, but no, but I think that's important though, because um some of our our listeners, you know, the Central Coast, I hear a lot of uh, you know, Mexican American families, you know, and if you're out there in in other parts, you know, even in just in the Hispanic community in general, you know, Puerto Ricans, you know, Dominicans, um, Cubans, uh, Latinos in general, um, I think that's just how we are. And uh we need to figure out. Fix it though because it it just it could cause a lot of harm. And um I don't know why we we can't just be better people and and just accept everyone for who they are. Yeah. You know, in general. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Yeah, it's like what's that theory? Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_05 44:19

Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:21

All right. Um let's go ahead and and and change it up a little bit here. Um is there anything, and I know you might have already touched this a little bit here, but uh is there like an experience that you've had that is kind of I know you talked a little bit about marriage, and but is there any other experiences outside of marriage that has kind of made you who you are today? Uh or maybe made you evolve into a better person or somebody different?

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_05 44:53

I know that's pretty deep, huh?

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Well, that's a really it's a deep one. And I I was actually thinking about this the other day. Um yeah, I realize how resilient I am based on all the challenges and struggles that have kind of came about. Remember, I told you I was married before, and so I I learned from that, and then from my current marriage, I'm learning a lot about myself and what I want from me. Remember, I told you guys about the deeper digging and trying to find yourself who are you if you remove that blueprint. And I'm trying to learn who really I am, and I'm realizing that I'm a pretty damn sufficient little lady here, you know. I mean, I can I was raised by a mom with with you know, single mom with five kids, and you don't realize that you in a way can become that, but also you learn so many cool things from that, and you realize, wow, I I could get through stuff. This is not bad.

SPEAKER_05 45:47

No, yeah. And obviously, you go through some things, you you become a better person, you learn. You I've I've used this word before. You you evolve. Yes, you evolve, and then you you're you move, you move on to the next chapter of your life, and hopefully from that point on, you know, your life continues to and it gets better. You get to accomplish things that you are hoping to accomplish, and you are more fulfilled, I guess you would say, yeah, with your decisions in the things that you do.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

And women are freaking amazing, like the women creature, like you know, we were talking about self-deprecating, but wow, like women are wild.

SPEAKER_05 46:26

Why is that? Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_03 46:28

I can handle we can handle so much, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:31

But yes, I I'll give you that. Yes, women can handle a tremendous amount of things. But I got something that just came in mind with women though, right now, is why do women make it harder for for themselves? Why is it so much competition? Workplace, any why are girls or women intimidated or feel uncomfortable as soon as another woman walks in or whatever? It just seems to me like there's always competition.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

I like that question. I I like dudes, like I rather hang out with dudes. There's less drama with dudes.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

But then at the same time, if you hang out with dudes, what do you get? Oh, she's a whore, she's this, she's that. She's probably hooked up. Right. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm still a lady, okay? Let's keep it straight. Let's keep it classy. Yeah, but but there's some girls that are not that, you know.

SPEAKER_06 47:19

Well, of course, of course.

SPEAKER_01 47:21

But I think I wonder if it goes back to our upbringing, where the are we're raised to being told we're not good enough and blah, blah, blah. I wonder if if that's why we tend to do that.

SPEAKER_05 47:33

Yeah, it could be. I mean, I don't know. It could be the upbringing, you know, growing up Mexican American, whatever. But I think women in general, though, like it doesn't matter where how you grow up, where you grew up, uh. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03 47:46

Well, I think there's also the intimidation factor. Okay. There you go.

SPEAKER_05 47:50

That's a good word, intimidation.

SPEAKER_03 47:51

Yeah. And you know, when you enter a room and if you feel somebody's better than you, you're intimidated by that. And it comes down to knowing yourself. Yes. Knowing your capabilities, being secure in who you are. So if you are secure in who you are, you're not gonna be intimidated by other people. We should be upholding, you know, lifting people up, right? If you see somebody succeeding, applaud them. But no, those people who are insecure see it as a competition. Oh, I'm gonna show I'm better than them.

SPEAKER_05 48:20

Yes, yeah, I don't understand why even with families, like, why are we like that? You know, like somebody does something good, an accomplishment. Oh, your cousin became a doctor or something.

SPEAKER_01 48:30

Oh, yeah, oh, right.

SPEAKER_05 48:32

Like, why can't we just congratulate and be like happy for them?

SPEAKER_01 48:35

Exactly. You know what I mean? Oh no, no. Well, yeah, I mean, I now seva creature for you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 48:41

They're gonna think they're better now, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

Yeah. And then and also, too, if you really think about it, us women, we I've always said this women are like rainbows. We see everything in colors. We're emotional, we we think with our our hearts. Sometimes our hearts take over our brains, we're not very logical, or we try to see the pods like, oh, well, they probably didn't mean that because maybe they're going through something. Men are black and white, yes or no? That's it.

SPEAKER_05 49:04

They don't they I think for certain things men are black and white, yes. But I'm starting to find out that men are very sensitive too.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

You guys are the biggest cheese mussels ever.

SPEAKER_05 49:13

Well, yes, that cheese cheese meh is everybody loves cheese meh.

SPEAKER_01 49:16

And cry baby.

SPEAKER_05 49:17

Oh, yes, yes, but no, but you're right. For certain things, I think men are black and white. I think so. You're right in that in that aspect. Like men, we can have an argument. Literally, we can actually have a uh a physical fight, uh-huh, and then 10 minutes later, we're having a beer and we're good.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

Oh no, women, women are like freaking forest fires, it lingers forever. Men are like firecrackers, pop, done. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 49:44

Yes, and we never forget oh no, what old grudges like there's no tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

Yeah, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 49:51

So yeah, uh, but yeah, I think men are just, you know, I think as you grow older, you know, I think you you start to become a little bit more sensitive, a little bit more aware. I think it's not that you're getting soft or that, oh, look at him, he's such a freaking sissy now, or whatever. I don't think that's the case. I think you start to learn how to maybe understand instead of saying, like, oh, like your kid falls, they scrape through, get up, you know, like brush it off or whatever. Stop crying, you know, stop crying. I think as you get older, like you're more like sensitive to their feelings, to what they're going through, like, oh, come here, let's talk about it. Like, I don't know why it is, it's just age, maybe, you know. But um, I think I'm kind of heading towards that where before I would be just like whatever, you know, just yelling and stuff and get over it. Um, of course, I I grew up with I have three daughters, so I think I had to learn how to be a little bit more sensitive because I know my wife tells me, like, you treat your son very differently from what you treat your daughters, and she calls me out on it. She's like, Why can't you be like that with your son instead of yelling at him or whatever, reprimanding him? Why can't you have a conversation like you do with your daughters? And I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Well, it's the opposite for me. I'm hard on my daughter, but I am mushy, mushy, mushy with my boys. I am, oh, he's a baby. He does not do nothing wrong. But then my daughter, it's your fault. Why did you do that? I am so hard on my daughter because I know that I need to build a resilient little girl because life is tough and she needs to be tough to handle things. But then at the same time, it's like, I don't want to create a sissy boy, but at the same time, I always tell my boys, you need to be treated like a king. I said, because your mama's king, or yeah, you're my king, and I want a girl to treat you like a king. And so, and my daughter, I call her my queen. So a man needs to treat you like a queen. And so I don't know. I think it's for us women. It's like the boys are just like, it's my I mean Latina moms, you know how we are about our boys. They do no wrong.

SPEAKER_05 51:55

Well, can you relate to that when it comes to your son?

SPEAKER_03 51:59

Maybe, maybe not.

SPEAKER_05 52:00

Um I I think you defend him a lot more. You do, you do.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

Well, because I feel that I have to, right? Because I feel that he gets a little different treatment than the women do, the girls do in my household. But then again, uh, you know, being in the military, I also was surrounded by nothing by men. And a lot of them, you know, a lot younger than me. And I had to be like their mentors. So I was hard on them. So I feel like I am sometimes hard on him too, and hard on my girls. He would say I'm probably harder on my girls than I am on him. Um, but I feel like it's the opposite sex thing. Um, you know, when when our babies are little, they they idolize, like if they're boys, they idolize their moms into a certain age, and then they, you know, try to, you know, follow the father. And same thing with the girls, you know, their daddies, little uh little girls into a certain age, and they start, you know, trying to match what the mom does and trying to emulate them and and so on and so forth. So I think it's I don't know, it's just the way that we care for the kids of the opposite sex that we want to just treat them a little bit special. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 53:10

Yeah, and I mean I guess that's the way it is, right?

SPEAKER_01 53:12

I caught all my boys. I'm horrible. I'm horrible.

SPEAKER_05 53:16

No, no, it's nothing wrong with it's nothing wrong with calling your children. There's nothing wrong with that. Um, all right, Daisy. Is there anything right now in your life that you're looking forward to? Anything you want to try out?

SPEAKER_01 53:26

I want to go to Rome.

SPEAKER_05 53:27

Oh, Rome?

SPEAKER_01 53:28

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean, I you can try anything, but like making that step to go to Rome. Like, I I told my cousin, I said, I'm going to Rome. And she's like, What? I said, Yeah, I want to go see the Vatican. I want to go to Rome. And and and I go, I just don't know why. And so that's my goal right now is next year in August, I'm gonna go to Rome. I don't care how I'm gonna get, I'm gonna go there.

SPEAKER_05 53:50

You'll have fun.

SPEAKER_01 53:50

Oh, yeah. I don't need experience yet.

SPEAKER_05 53:52

I just yeah, yeah, we got to go to Rome a couple years back. Uh, funny story is we went to the um what do you call it? Where the the Vatican. I want to see that. We went to the Coliseum, that's pretty cool. We went to the Vatican, but there's that one painting that um the Sistine Chapel, right? We went to the Vatican, we were in this room, we swore it was a Sistine Chapel, and it wasn't. So we were like, oh my god, that was so beautiful. And as we were walking out to exit the Vatican, we saw signs that said Vatican or the Sistine Chapel this way. We're like, babe, that's not where we came from, that's like the opposite way. So we went back over there and what they were gonna close like in 10 minutes or so or something like that. Yeah, and the security luckily the security guard said, Yeah, the system chapels over there. We're like, Oh, please can we go check it out? Like, we we thought it was a sisting chapel over here, and no, it wasn't. So we ran through security. We got finally got to the Sisting Chapel. Oh my god, what a difference! Amazing. Like, as soon as you walk into that room, it's like uh it's something spiritual.

SPEAKER_02 54:59

Really?

SPEAKER_05 55:00

Like you you get goosebumps, you get like, I don't know, you kind of get a little emotional, I guess you would say, and you're not allowed to take pictures, by the way. So what I was doing is I had my phone in my pocket and I was I was just kind of taking pictures. They weren't like obviously focused or anything. I I wasn't able to focus specifically on something, but I did take a couple pictures. I mean, but the pictures don't do any justice, obviously. You have to be there to experience it.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

You know, I was uh I've been I'm kind of nerdy. I like to watch a lot of like biographies and stuff, and I've been really digging like uh you know, the Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria and all those things, and then it leads you down to all these other rabbit holes. And and uh one of the things that I was looking at when they were showing pictures of the art was how gothic some of that art is, but yet there's it's angelic as well. And so yeah, nothing compared to the art now, and and then the you know, you go down another rabbit hole. I'm like, how the heck was the Coliseum built? There's had to be aliens, there had to be aliens.

SPEAKER_06 55:57

So do you watch Ancient Aliens?

SPEAKER_01 55:59

No, but I mean, I mean, to me, okay, I know people be like, uh Daisy, you're going to how the heck? We have so much freaking technology now, so many amazing tractors and and things and AI, but yet we cannot build a pyramid like they built then. We cannot build a Coliseum like they built then, and with with with thousands of workers pulling these big old stones, like it just to me, it's like, no, there, I I mean, yeah, I think I'm crazy, whatever, but there had to be some supernatural thing out there.

SPEAKER_05 56:31

No, you're not you're not crazy. Me and my wife think the same thing. We we watch those shows like Ancient Aliens, uh, all those crazy shows that people are like, why do you watch that? It's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 56:41

Yeah, and it makes you think. And I don't think aliens are like aliens, I think they look human. I mean, men in black, come on, right.

SPEAKER_05 56:49

I love that movie, by the way. Yeah, I don't know how many times I've seen it, but um, yeah. So I hope you get a chance to go to Rome. Um, really good food out there. Um, and not you know what, not as expensive as we thought it was gonna be. So I I think you'd really enjoy it. Um, if you get to if you get a chance to also go to Pompeii.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Um I went to the exhibit they had at the Presidential Library. Did you guys go? Oh, that was awesome.

SPEAKER_05 57:14

We didn't we didn't get to see that one, but uh, but if you get a chance, yeah, go to Pompeii. Uh they have great little um like little markets out there. The tour is fantastic. Just uh it depends on what time of the year you go, because we went in the summertime.

SPEAKER_02 57:29

And it was hot.

SPEAKER_05 57:29

Oh my god, it was hot. Okay, it we were like drenched, and in certain areas they said, oh, you can't be wearing shorts, like if you go to the Vatican or whatever. But it was it was BS because there was people in shorts in there. Oh, the meno, like I was a dumbass wearing jeans uh in a hundred and something degree weather. I wish I would have been wearing shorts. You were lucky because you had a skirt on or whatever. I had a dress, dress, yeah, but yeah, it gets hot, so just be careful when you got there. Just prepare for the for the weather. Okay, yeah. Um let's are you okay with like a rapid, uh a quick little rapid round? I like to kind of ask these little rapid questions, nothing crazy, but um all right, bring it on. Let's see what I come up with. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Extrovert. Okay, I already knew that one. Morning person or night owl?

SPEAKER_01 58:15

I'm a night owl.

SPEAKER_05 58:16

Favorite comfort food?

SPEAKER_01 58:17

Oh, pozole. Oh, and I just had it.

SPEAKER_05 58:21

We just had posole, yes. Have you had green posole?

SPEAKER_01 58:23

Yes, yes. Isn't it like it's spicier?

SPEAKER_05 58:26

It's different, but yeah, it hits a little differently. Um, favorite guilty pleasure TV show.

SPEAKER_01 58:32

Oh man, there's a lot.

unknown 58:35

Guilty pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 58:36

I mean, back in the day it was telenovelas, but they're not they're not the same like they used to be.

SPEAKER_03 58:40

No, they're not. No, they're not, they're just they don't even look the same.

SPEAKER_01 58:43

No, even the actors are just oh man, guilty. Okay, I was into uh The Walking Dead.

SPEAKER_04 58:49

Oh, so was I.

SPEAKER_01 58:50

Yeah, that was good. I'm Negan, Daryl, amazing. Yes, uh yeah, that that was my thing.

SPEAKER_05 58:55

Okay, you already mentioned your dream vacation. Well, no, I don't know. Is it your dream vacation? What's your dream vacation?

SPEAKER_01 59:00

Uh tropical, tropical, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 59:02

Any more specific?

SPEAKER_01 59:04

Um, no, just as long as I could see the water. Okay, like the beaches here. Oh, I can't get in them, they're too cold, like Playa del Carmen, Puerto Rico. Oh my gosh, Puerto Rico is amazing.

SPEAKER_05 59:13

Okay, recommend it.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

Oh, yes, okay, yes, go to the Yunke, like, yeah, Puerto Rico's amazing.

SPEAKER_05 59:19

That's one place we haven't gone yet, so it's on the list.

SPEAKER_01 59:21

I listened to the well, we were so close to the DR. Like we were gonna go there, and my ex-husband says, No, no, no, we shouldn't. I was like, We're so close, we just pay. It was like a 45, like it was gonna be like 200 and something dollars to go, and we didn't, and I regret it because I was already there.

SPEAKER_03 59:36

I was like, Oh, yeah, and when are you gonna go back?

SPEAKER_01 59:39

Yeah, because you know it's now I'm a scare to go across the ocean, but I know I gotta get across the ocean.

SPEAKER_05 59:44

You have to, yeah. All right, what's your most used emoji? The laughing one, the laughing one, okay. Uh, fancy dinner or backyard barbecue.

SPEAKER_01 59:53

You know what? Backyard barbecues, you always gotta clean, so I'd rather go to fancy dinner. That way I don't have to babe.

SPEAKER_05 59:59

She, you know, you're you feel the same way too, huh? You rather go out to dinner, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:03

Yeah, because you always end up cleaning, and then people come over and the cochinero, and then you gotta clean the bathrooms, and oh gosh, no, it's more of work.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:09

Yeah, it is. And I'm not in uh us take turns because of that.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:15

Books or podcasts.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

I'm I'm a book person, I like to change the pages. I I'm I'm I just yeah, I have my specific favorite authors I like to read. And then and the funny part about me is I I didn't learn to read till I was in third grade. Oh, yeah, because you know, kids now know how to read in kindergarten. But we moved so much. Remember, I said my mom was a single mom. And so I was just this little punk third grader, and there was this teacher. Her name was Miss Riccabone, and I will always be grateful because I know she saw something in me.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:44

What was her name again?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

Miss Ricca Boney.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:46

So shout out to Miss Riccaboni. Is she she is she still teaching you things?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:49

Oh, she passed away. Oh, she passed away.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:50

Oh, rest in peace then.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

What I do remember about her was she saw something in me. And you know, you you uh teachers are gifted. They are you're either a punk kid or they see something in you, and I know she saw something in me, and she had me. You remember those uh tables that look like uh the what is it, macaroni tables?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:06

Oh, yeah, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:08

So she put me in a little group of all the little paisitas, you know, that's what we were, little Mexicans, and she would eat carrots, like when she would teach us, and when I would read something wrong, she would yell and point, and the carrots would land on my paper and then my my wood page. Yes, and I always remember that. But let me tell you, she taught me how to read, and then I just love to read now. I I love it, it's so like therapeutic. So, what I do is when I find an author I like, I buy hardcovers of those books. Okay, and have to have the whole collection.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:36

Oh, that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

It's really weird.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:38

That's real cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:40

Were you part of that Pizza Hut Reading? What was it called? It was a reading club where you get the free little meaning pizza. Like the reading rainbow.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:47

Oh, I remember those. Of course, I lied on the summaries. Oh, me too. I didn't read them all. Hell no.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

Hey, you're poor little Mexican, man. You want that for me?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:54

I want that little personalized pizza.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:56

Yeah, because my parents never they never took us to get stuff like that. Uh do you like plann trips or spontaneous trips?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:02

Spontaneous.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:04

Even though I need to plan the room one. That's a big one.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:06

Oh, yeah, that's a big one. You you you have to plan that one. Um, and then last question here uh small gathering or a big party.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:16

But who's hosting?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:17

You're you're not hosting. You're not hosting.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:19

I I think it depends what it is. If it's a wedding, remember, I told you I've been married twice. It's okay. Rather have a small wedding. Okay. Because you think about big weddings, yeah, you're paying for everybody.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:32

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:32

And everybody's gonna complain about something. Oh, they should have had this or they should have done this, or they and it's like you didn't pay for it. So I would have rather had small wedding. Remember los amigo los puedes contar una mano? Yes. Kind of that thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:46

And you know, you're right. I think just kind of what you said there. It's true. Why do you I don't know? Some people have to have that big fancy wedding, yeah, you know, for whatever reason, just to make themselves feel better, whatever. I would prefer something smaller, intimate with family, people you really care about, good food, good music. Yes, I mean, for me, that's that's what you need. Even a destination wedding, I would prefer.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:07

Oh, yes. Because you're combine both. You can combine both, yes, and the real people will go to your wedding, the people that really mean something to you. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:15

All right, Daisy. Before we before we let you go here, um, this is the final question, okay? And I promise we're done here. Um, and first of all, you know what? Thank you for your patience. I just gotta say that Daisy came in here. Uh, she was here right on time. She was here on time, she even brought desserts. And uh, we were having an issue with our AC unit. Then we started having an issue with my control board, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing. This has this has never happened. So thank you once again for your patience. I really appreciate it. You're such a good sport, by the way. And you even say, you know what, if you want, I'll just come back. But no, we knocked it out. Um, actually, it doesn't feel that bad in here anymore. It actually feels pretty good. But uh yeah, my apologies for that. Um, hopefully, you know, we'll have you back here at some point if you if you would be so gracious enough to to join us again. But I got another last question for you. If someone met you for the first time, let's say tomorrow, uh, what would you hope they noticed about you? Dun dun dun dun.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:21

Well, I mean, I notice about me.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:24

Maybe your fancy jeans or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:25

Oh, yeah, they're so fancy. Um what I always get is my teeth. And I know it sounds silly, but everybody compliments my teeth. So yeah, I guess remember me by my smile and my teeth.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:36

You know, but good teeth are important. Yeah, a good smile is important. It is, it really is.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

Teeth and feet. Oh, yes, yeah, feet. That's the hygiene right there. You gotta have some good toes.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:46

There's nothing wrong with that. Uh, before we leave here, I just want to leave. I just kind of want to leave with a last thought here. I know that I've mentioned, I've probably mentioned this before, but I think this is really important. It doesn't seem like we have enough time throughout the day, throughout the week. We work, you know, eight hours a day, 40 hours a week. We we come home. Those of us that have kids, they'll have to take care of that. And then on the weekends, we got so many errands to run, you know, this and that, or you have obligations. I'm just gonna say this take a little time for yourself, you know, even if it's an hour uh a day, a couple hours on the weekends, it's very important to self-reflect and just to kind of just maybe even meditate or whatever, whatever your form of meditation is, have a cold beer, whatever it is. I think it's just very important that we take care of ourselves because life is too short, and the next thing you know, you blink and it's it's over. So I think we have to make the most of it, and that includes spending time for yourself. Yes, you know, of course, you want to be with loved ones, but take care of yourself. Very, very important. Um, also, I want to mention um if you would like to be a guest on this podcast, feel free to reach out. Um, this is a podcast about everyday people, real talk here. Uh, you don't have to be super fancy, you don't have to be a doctor or you know, an engineer, whatever the case is. This is real talk here. We can talk about anything that you guys would like to talk about. So if you're interested, please send me a message. You know, we can we can connect, reach out, and then we can set something up. For those of you that are out of state, I got a couple of interviews coming up that are going to be phone interviews. That's perfectly fine too. Um, we can accommodate that as well. So just please uh reach out to me if you are interested. Thanks again, Daisy, very much. It was a pleasure uh having you here. Uh, thank you for everything you do out there in the community. Obviously, uh what you do is very important. No, it is. It is very important what you do. So thank you so much. Um, and uh enjoy the rest of your evening. Uh anything fun you're gonna get into? Just go home, put some pajamas on, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:56

Well, no, I'll probably go to the gym because I drink so much coffee, so I'm a little hyped. So, yeah, you know, the body's not getting any younger, and you gotta take care of it.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:05

So all right. Well, thanks again, Daisy. Appreciate your time.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:09

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:13

If you're enjoying the podcast and want to help support future episodes, you can check out the link in the show notes. Your support helps keep the podcast going, and it's greatly appreciated. Also, please leave a review and share with friends. That's Sergio Says It Straight, where the truth comes out. Whether we planned it or not, catch you next time.