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I guess I've been looking for you. I guess I've been looking for you.

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Welcome to Brewing Better Marriages from T South Dakota with Philip and Debbie Sanders. If these podcasts are a help to you, pass it on to others. Let us know with an email. Also include any questions that you would have about these subjects, and we will attempt to answer them. We're going back to that one word that we want to just drive home to our hearts, which is honorable. And honorable means honored, esteemed, precious, costly. And that's combating the spirit of the age, because there is no commitment today, especially in marriage. Well, you know, it's kind of like this. Just change spouses like you change your socks. No, we have a commitment to each other, to God, to our families, and to society to stay married. Now, this leads us in to what our subject was responsibility.

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Ephesians 5.33. Husbands love your wives. 522-24. Also, wives respect, honor, reverence her husband.

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Now let me say here, there is a phrase that we want you to remember, and it simply states it's not wrong. It's just different. God made each one of us separate. We see it the man's way. She sees it the woman's way.

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Then in Ephesians 5 31, we read about the leave and cleave aspect of marriage. When you're first married and you're come together, husband and wife, you know, you've been raised probably opposites, maybe different ways.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Let's interject something here. What was something that was different for us?

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Oh my. Finances. Well, that sounds like we've just got so much that was different. Finances. Um How was that different? Your side was more uh Live by faith. Yeah. Just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

And yours was.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

And mine was very tight and uh careful and budgeters. Yeah. Yeah. So there was so big differences. There was even differences in culture as far as food. Um you know, the types of food we ate, the way we even honestly, it came down to just the way we the way we kept house. There was just so many differences. I wasn't raised with animals, he was raised with animals. I mean, that was a big difference.

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And guess what? We have no animals.

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Hey, we have had many animals. Not in the house.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Yeah, that's for sure. But then last time we began talking about what? Romance. Oh, tell me more.

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Your favorite word, I know. Hebrews 13 4 tells us that marriage is honorable and all, and the bed undefiled. Psalm 23 tells us the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

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Now, does this go against this philosophy that's even crept into the church world where it is, I've just got to have some me time?

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When you put your spouse first, and as you should, God will honor and grant you, you will be given whatever you need, you will be satisfied, content, because satisfaction, contentment doesn't come from me time. That's selfish. But when you realize that there is someone else that is above you, you know, the scripture says for the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Right there, the husband is to be thinking of her. What did Christ do? He gave his life for the church.

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Well, that's the reason why I ask you to go hunting with me, and I ask you to go fishing with me, and I ask you what's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Well, I have a few times. Okay.

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Okay.

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Over fifty years.

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You know what a few means three.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

I don't know if you've hit that or not. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

That's right, about right. Okay, but it also says that the wives to respect, reverence, honor her husband. And so when we do that, we're not just thinking of ourself because this world is a dog eat dog world. It's selfish. And if we take that attitude in our relationship, we're gonna be destroying, we're gonna be shooting ourselves in the back.

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So that makes us want to learn your spouse. So what uh what what makes her smile? What uh what does she want to do? What does she like to do? Since we've been traveling these last few years, uh, when Debbie was raising the kids and even the two boys we adopted, she loves to go to Goodwill and uh TJ Maxx. I told her the other day, surprises me. I have to fight my car when it goes by a TJ Maxx to not turn in and keep going straight. But that's okay. She loves doing that. And uh I can wait on her. She's uh fed everybody I drug into the parsonage in those 30 years. She's kept the house, she's raised the children. We homeschooled all eight, and she did uh the sh uh uh I helped.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

He was the principal in name.

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Yeah. Okay, whatever. Okay. And and so take the initiative in it. You start it for her and see if it won't work for her then to start taking somewhat of an initiative toward you where you're concerned.

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And you know, r uh romance doesn't have to be uh set way. I mean there's things that just like I can remember days of when f money was pretty tight and um mm we didn't eat hardly ever ate out. But I know I knew his favorite foods, I knew his favorite meals, even if they did take more work than I wanted to do. But you do a pan of fried chicken and you want to talk about now we're talking, baby. Yeah, that's what I figured. So, you know, in it I can remember one time early on that w it was not long after we were married, because we each brought our own pillow to our our uh marriage, and he had his and I had mine. They were both feather pillows, but his feathers hardly were any feathers in his pillow, and it was uh his birthday, and I didn't have money to go buy a gift, so I dumped all his feathers into my feathers in my pillow and sewed it up, and so he had a nice plush feather pillow. Now that seems silly.

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Oh, you're making me want to cry.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

It seems silly now, but at the time I thought that's be I want to show him. I want to, I've got to give him something to show him how much I love him. And you know, it can be simple things. Uh early on the days, we'd do candlelight dinners. Of course, we'd have two, three, four, five kids, you know, there at the table with us. But we would put, you know, candles on the table and get out to find China and make it special. And that's that's sometimes what it takes to build that relationship and have a romance.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

And don't wait until you get 70 years old to do that.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

No.

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Because then it's a little late and you haven't taught your children these things. Now, did we always? I mean, was this done every day? Was we on a schedule to do these things? No, it's like she said, it doesn't have to be a schedule. It's just showing an initiative to do those sorts of things. And guess what? When you do it this way, it will lead into rewards. And what are the rewards, hon?

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Psalm 23 again tells us, Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters, he restoreth my soul. And on, we could go on with it. So, in reward, those are the rewards of a husband and a wife and a home with unity and peace, loving each other and the children. You know, I as a woman like to go refer back to Proverbs 31. It talks about the virtuous woman. What about that woman? She has the heart of her husband, he safely trusts in her, she has no need of spoil, she'll do him good and not evil all days of her life. She worketh willing with hands, looketh well to the ways of the household. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her.

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Well, that's a good scripture for Mother's Day.

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And that is the rewards that come right there. Her children rise up, but her husband also, and he praiseth her. So what more could I as a woman want in my life than that my children praise me and my husband?

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Yeah, say that again. Who? My children and my husband.

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And my husband.

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I'm looking across this table at the most beautiful, most blessed, uh, most sacrificial, and most giving woman in on the face of the earth. My mom was pretty well, but she doesn't meet up to this. So I love you, honey. I love you too. Well, thanks again. Man, we're getting a little sloppy here. We better shut this down.

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It's that word, you know. Romance.

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Hey, listen, thank you again for tuning in. And once again, we'd like to encourage you to email your questions to sandersministries at gmail.com. And then look up our website, which is sanders ministries.org. That's sanders ministries.org. Thank you for tuning in. We'll catch you again next week. God bless. Bye bye.