SPEAKER_00 0:13

I guess I've been looking for you. I guess I've been looking for you.

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Welcome to Brewing Better Marriages from T South Dakota with Philip and Debbie Sanders. If these podcasts have been a help to you, pass it on to others. And then let us know in an email how they've been a blessing. Also include any questions you might have on the subjects that we cover. A word you will hear often is honorable, which means Honored, esteemed, precious, costly. That's what it means to God in God's eyes. Why are we using this word over and over again? Because this is combating the spirit of our age, a non-committal attitude. Make a commitment to him. Make a commitment to her. Make your marriage better. The last couple of podcasts we've been dealing with having a home God's way. The first part in doing that is what, Deb? Morality. And what does morality mean?

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Morality is honesty, truth, protocol, our conduct.

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Protocol just simply means doing what is right, doing the best thing. The second point, which is what we covered the last session, is what? Money. Boy, did you see how she said that? Almost like it's possessive. Yeah. Money. And under under money, we did we dealt with three aspects of giving should be in every home. And what is that? Tithe, offerings, and alms. Are you teaching your children to do that? When you get your check, do you say, okay, our tithe comes off? When they get their birthday money, when they get their Christmas money, what is the first thing they think of? Oh, I can go buy blank, blank, blank. Or is it, boy, I've got to figure out how to my t how much tithe I owe here? You know, if you get ten dollars, how do you do that? Just by asking questions to them. Okay, you got a $10 birthday gift. How much tithe do you owe? One dollar. All right. So you teach them to do that. But not only at home, teach them that's the purpose, that one of the purposes that we have in giving of our offerings. And our offerings is a second thing. It's just because God's been good to us. He's blessed us. And what was the third one? Our alms. Alms. That's not letting anybody know what we do. How long has it been since you slipped a $50 bill in somebody's car or somebody else's hand and said, give this to so-and-so? Or a hundred dollar bill, or bottom of what?

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Bottom a bag of groceries or a a box of diapers or whatever the need might be. It could go on and on and on. It could be anything that would be a helpful, a blessing.

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Okay. And then we closed out talking about budgeting. That's kind of a sore spot with me. You know, I uh You have to work at it. This is going the wrong way, okay?

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Hey, somebody in this marriage has got to keep it all straight.

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I do. I know how to spend.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

I know you do.

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Hey, do you know how many how much I have been able to keep money in my wallet? Unless we're going to church somewhere and I need to put something in. I am doing good. Can you pat me on the back, honey? Well, later. Oh, oh well, let's just shut this podcast down then. Well, anyway, budgeting is a necessity. And the Queen of Budgeting is sitting across the table from me. She knows how to do that. She knows how to teach you to do that. So if you got a question, email her with it. And uh and she can she can answer those questions. But the third part of this is having a mission. Okay, a home God's way means that you have morality, that you're working on your money issue, and then a mission. Now I'm not saying that everybody in Christianity has to go on a missions trip um to South Africa or to Russia or to somewhere like that. But what I am saying is that every home ought to have a desire to have a mission in their home.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

And it may be uh maybe cleaning the church. It it it may be cooking for work day. Uh moms get the girls together and get a meal up and provide that. It may just be a project the church has um as a home. As a family. As a family you do that.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

How long has it been since you've had the pastor and his family over to your house? Of course that means you may have to clean Did I say that?

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Yeah. That'd be a good idea. Say it first.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

But you need to have a mission. What is your mission? Do you have a mission possibly to have your pastor over once a month? Or maybe just once a year. Okay, this is the month of uh June. So we've got to remember what Sunday family all together, what Sunday is the best Sunday for us to have the pastor and his family over? Why? Because we have a mission. I'm afraid we've just become accustomed to sitting in church and thinking we're gonna sing our way into everlasting bliss. God expects us to work. And for your children to be involved in that is a necessity. And it's for you and your responsibility to teach them for that.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

And yes, is it gonna take uh some effort and some uh on your part, those young ones? There's things they can do. Teach them how to do it. Bring them right along with you. Show them. It's not it's not just you know, expect every somebody else to do it or pay somebody to do these things, but we are missing it when we don't teach our children and train them how to work for God.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

We've trained our children to do this, and I think it's probably one of the most motivating factors of them still living for God today is because they worked for God when they were in our home. And it's not just because they were the pastor's children, but even today, uh, you know, uh our oldest daughter, Kayla. I don't know how many compliments we've heard from evangelists and different people who had been at their home that said, Man, those girls get in and cook and they clean up the dishes and they do things like that. Uh you're missing it, ladies, when you don't teach them in your home. This is God's way to have the right home. Do they make mistakes? Will they spill flour?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Yes, yes. Yes. I've got some amazing girls that are cooks today, and that's almost a lost art. But I can remember the days when they stood on the stool and and I was making bread or biscuits and I'd give them dough to play with. Well, you want you want to talk about a mess? Yes, it was all over the counter, is on the floor, and did it frustrate me sometimes? Yes. And I I have Hello. I I'll admit I have a problem with that. But I can remember Philip telling me one time he said, Are are your girls gonna uh when they look back in life, are they gonna remember oh just such a you know, just things that were of non-importance, but are they gonna remember the times that you you know let them do things like that? Or or that you sat down with them and gave them, you know, yourself. And sometimes it takes us giving of ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

And you know, Mom, uh this comes back to I can remember right after we got married, we went into uh to your house in Columbus, Ohio, and your mother was preparing for us, and I think she was cooking a pizza, if I'm not mistaken. Well, you know, I was raised, everybody just interacts, we go in, we go out, and we always try to help whatever's being done. So I went in and I said, Is there something I can do to help you? And she looked at me and said, Yes, get out of the kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

And so this is some of that baggage we had talked about earlier.

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And so I brought that in, you know, that was something that I had to deal with and I had to get had to work at because that's how I was raised. That's what came a part of me.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

And some of my baggage that I carried into our relationship is going into the kitchen and saying, Can I do something? And she says, get out. And so I had to learn to take that suitcase somewhere else instead of in the kitchen and unpack it.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Oh, but I think we're off the subject. We need to get back to a mission. It's a miss it's it should be your mission to work for God and to bring your children with you. Do you think when I think back of the story of Noah, I think, you know, that mission was for his sons right there beside him. And I'm sure Mrs. Noah had had was doing her part and and and you know, the sons' wives and they were cooking and taking care of things. Well, you know, there was a lot to be done. It took everybody working together.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

I could see Shem or Ham or Japheth, and they said, Dad, this is so stupid. Why do we have to do it? And nobody else is building an ark. We've never even heard of rain. But Noah said no. And for 120 years, they got up in the morning and they went to work. Why? Because God said that this is the way I want your home. Noah, by building the ark, saved civilization, and we are here today because he was obedient to what God had told him in having a home God's way.

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Matthew 6, 33 is one of my favorites. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

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What is the most important thought in your mind in the day? Is it is it uh one of your hobbies? Is it being able to do that? Or are you thinking in yourself, how can I set my home in the way that God wants it? How can I have a mission for my entire family? I'm looking at the church. Can I do landscaping? Can I do the mowing? Can we do the janitorial work? Can we what can we do for the kingdom of God? Is there a missionary coming? Then let's budget so that we can give as a family.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

What's your what's your mission? I've been in some churches where uh they had a family that would take on them to provide for the uh evangelists that would come through and make baskets for them or make uh gift bags, and you know, that your kids would would be thrilled. You know, you find out the ages of of the kids in the evangelist family and you shop for that and and you provide that. And and you know, they get a blessing out of it, and um they'll you'll reap and they'll reap too.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

We appreciate you joining with us again, and we would encourage you to email us with any questions that you have or comments if this has been a help at Sanders Ministries at gmail.com. And also, I'd invite you to check out our website. It's sanders ministries.org. Thanks again for joining with us. God bless you.