Boobie Jackson's Chestermere Complainers Radio Show Ep2 "The Fireworks Show"

Rude, crude, offensive satire where we speak your complaints as fictional stories. Featuring music from: Freddy Dwight, Ryvox & Trifukta, Hosts: Boobie Jackson. Join us on facebook here! https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EaW2QVVrU/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:22

So I'm not a miscomplainers. You guys are scared of getting caught. You're like, oh no, no, I can't. Nobody can possibly know the truth. That I think the lake is a big spamming shithole. Um yeah. Um, yeah, Tully. If you want, you can post anonymously, like that's what I fucking do. Like honestly. Um, I think this is just gonna be like a boob jacks and like boobathon. I think I'm just gonna start skewing for like 15-20 minutes and we'll just f ⁇ ing see where it goes. Oh yeah, I'd go to work, whatever, I'll just fucking make my way down Make my way down Marina Drive and watch 20 people try to back out in front of me, but uh Yeah, no, honestly, if there's no reason to leave a house, there's driving is just a goddamn nightmare in this town. There's always a pedestrian across in the fucking road and not looking over cars. Always someone driving 15 down the road, down the main street, trying to find your friend's house and oh no, where the fuck is my house? Where to go? Where's my house? I can't find my house. I have to slow down and go 15 kilometers an hour just to like find my fucking house. Slow everybody up. Um you're just constantly if you're trying to leave the city, you're just hitting like red light after red light after red light. There's always I feel like there's always somebody like turning in front of you, or just like in your fucking way, like a pedestrian, a car. Um it doesn't matter like where you go. Like, I mean you can be in like a residential area. Residential areas are pretty much dealing with people just blindly backing out of their driveway or just pedestrians in general. Or I mean if you're on any main road, it's just like red light, red light, red light, red light, car turning, another car turning, pedestrian, stop and wait for this guy. Remember when East Hills was being built? And we're like everyone's like, oh, I wonder what they're building. Oh, it's gonna be so stiff. Like, oh man, there's I can't wait for all this stuff to come and then they build it, and they built the exact same 10 fucking chain restaurants that we have in town here. So, like, what gives me I mean it doesn't matter if you go to Wangden or Knees Hills or I mean we all have the same shit, so there's no reason to to leave or go anywhere because it's just the same ten fucking places and like fly like the next 10 kilometers around fucking towns. Uh what do you think of the fireworks show? You couldn't tell I was uh mix and yeah so I actually love fireworks by the way, because for like, you know, when like say when DiWali's happening, I think it's awesome that they just eat your piss with the fucking fireworks, cause uh I mean you're still having a grand old time and uh I mean if you have an inn on a Diwali party, I'd say I mean you have to go. Like it's gonna be like the best party that you've ever been to. Like so many people, um like lots of booze, lots of food, and like stuff you never even get anywhere else. So it's just honestly incredible. Just having like a DiWali party. Um yeah, so honestly the fireworks during the volume they don't bother me at all. I actually think they're super sick. And uh and then I know people bitching like, oh no, my fucking dog gets scared of the fucking fireworks, oh no, you can't do it. It's like, yeah, well, I mean that's that's the same dog that you know they just barks all fucking day, then they they throw it out in the backyard, oh I can't I can't have my dog in the house. It it barks too much, I need to go to sleep, so I just throw it outside and let it just fucking bark out there and then bark so loud and fucking bark echoes off the fucking houses. So Yeah. I mean, so for like a week a year I'm happy I don't have to listen to the fucking dogs barking, which is amazing. Um also if you have a no no movie jackson personally, I'm not gonna talk about your dog if I can someone else's fucking dog in this area. Like everything has to be the most it is, like here's an example like I don't know if you're like me, just use your visa for like everything. So I just have I mean don't care, whatever, like easy peasy, we've been doing that for like twenty years or whatever. And then uh yeah, so you decide what they're like, oh yeah. Let's go for a cost run. What do you think? Let's go spend seven hundred dollars on fucking two quaters pizza pots, let's fucking give her piss, you know, maybe you'll get some lunch there's uh cheeseburger enough to plant it go to melting costs on it. Easily priced food, it's hot doubles or two beans, something like that. And then uh you go plug in and buy all your shit, go to the chat go. Oh no, we don't take fucking visa. Like oh instrument. Hold on, let me blow off the debit card and fucking sitting there trying to fumble with that dusty piece of shit and then hold them up. No walk chip bearer, put your pin number and you're like, big boobies, big old I don't fucking know. Like I don't I can't remember fuck my pin numbers. I did that when I was like nine years old for fuck's sake. Like I haven't used it in like 15, 20 fucking years. Like speed ship they in the world. I haven't used it in like 30 fucking years. I'm not supposed to know what my pin number is, so yeah, if you're sitting there dicking around and then I mean maybe just go there for a hot dog and then like you drove all the way bumper to bumper down 17th, then I go to detail for hot dogs on it, and then uh to get there, you walk to the store, like do parking and all that, like millions people and like double. Yeah, get to your food court, you know, yeah, give me a couple of hot dogs, like three dollar, and then um you have to go in there. No, can't use your cage of visa, it has to be damn it. You're like, oh fuck, and then getting pissed off at this point, like well, I don't know, like um I mean either I gotta like ask someone for like four fucking dollars, or I gotta go find an ATM and uh and then you're considering doing like a cash cash advance on your fucking visa- Wait, hold on. I'm not gonna do a cash advance on you know my visa for like three fucking dollars. I mean the interest is gonna be like I mean you call it 20 bucks, you're gonna charge like fucking ten dollar fucking withdrawal fee, probably. What do you think? Test him your complainers Facebook page if you if you don't have uh if you don't uh fuck I don't even know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's a that's a fucking conundrum if you ask me. I just want to talk about one thing with the lake, it's like what do you think of the lake? It's like no I mean never really gave a shit about the lake, honestly. Um like went on the lake once, like an inflatable boat, and yeah, then just sat in the fucking basement and then um like years later I ended up just selling the fucking thing and then that guy, I know he used it like once or twice, and I think it's just sitting in his fucking basement, but uh Yeah, I don't know, I just I think it's too fucking cold, honestly. Um too cold, it's I mean obviously like a big scummy shit hole some days. I mean when you go in, you're kinda wondering it. I mean it's like uh it's a little stinky, like I don't know if I'm gonna get like an itch or something if I you know go in there, so yeah, I don't know. I mean I know there's the dudes out there who are like live for the fucking lake, which is understandable because we're like a fucking lake community, but uh yeah, there's like, you know, the dads out there and they're like, oh yeah, well I got the fucking CDs and I got the fucking jet skis and like fucking like all the toys and all the shit to make and hollow and like I live for the lake, and that's that's awesome. Like fuck yeah, like give her piss, but I mean I know there's probably some people who would agree with me when they're like, yeah, like I don't know, it's eh, it's not that fucking great. I mean There's a wicked lake out by like Auburn Bay, and it's just like crystal clean, like good time, like hundred percent, like yeah, I'm going there, but never really like wanted to spend much time in the water, really. Um the beaches are good. I mean the beaches are like a fantastic fucking time. Like they're always such a good idea to do that kind of shit. Like Um, one thing I didn't actually know is that you could get a fucking DUI for operating like a motorboat. Like I did not fucking know. Like, like so any of you guys who are like, oh yeah, like boat boat enthusiasts, like always go on the lake, like is there like a fucking like blow box that they can put on your boat like a like a ignition interlock? Like if you get a fucking BUI, like you're having some spears on your boat, like yeah, yeah, just give me a great time, and then like the fucking boat cops come over to you and like give you like a BUI? Like, yeah, do they have like a fucking blow box for a fucking boat just so you can just like I don't know like keep doing what you're doing, like just you know, more careful or I guess like Notice from the firework video, some there's like some glass breaking. So, if we ever do the Booby Jackson Septemberfest, you know, you can invite your one friend that has like Viva computers and like starts smashing shit. Like, we don't need that at Booby Jackson Oktoberfest because that is like like a one-way ticket to make sure that you know nothing fun ever happens in this town ever again. So whatever you do, don't ever like break shit if you like get piss fucking drunk. Like just uh behave. I mean you can get rowdy, just don't damage anything. I mean, it's like why? Like, like, oh yeah, let's go smash out a fucking window. Like why? Like like why would you want to do that? And then, you know, he's like, oh no, no, he's fine though. You you kinda you kinda boob jack the best, you know, meaning fucking rider, we go way fucking back. Yeah, he's a he's a cool dude, you know, I vouch for him, you know, gut gut crib. It's like that wall. I mean, your buddy's gonna have like two fucking beers and like break the window. Oh no. No, he's a he's a man of his word. He he's sorry, he's sorry that he broke the window. He's uh what he's gonna do is uh he's gonna fix it, he's gonna make things right, he's gonna set it straight. He's like, okay, so um, so what's Ryler gonna do? He's gonna go borrow his dad's fucking like what he what are you gonna do? Oh Ryler, he's got he got some plywood, he went to Rona and got some fucking plywood, okay. So, yeah, what you're gonna what use your dad's like hacksaw? You're gonna like hacksaw a piece of plywood so you can fucking patch up the window that you broke. Oh yeah, well, no, it's fine, I got I got a piece that's the right size and all that. Okay, so Alright, so you got like what, like screws, like nails? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got I got a fucking drill. Yeah, my OB drill, I'm gonna put a blank on the window, I'm gonna pay for it to get fixed. Like, okay, yeah, so you're just gonna like shit bomb a screw into the fucking frame? Like you're gonna fuck up the frame now, or like the the block? Like you're gonna just blast the fucking screw through the block and oh yeah, easy to go. Now the block's up too. Now the window's broke and the block's broke. Good job. Good job, Ryler. Booby Jackson fans go have like two fucking beers and fucking juke all over the place and smash everything up like, oh, this town ain't big enough where the two of me wait for me and Ryler to show up and have like three freaking beers and freaking break a window. Hope you enjoyed Booby Jackson episode two of the fireworks show. Yeah, like I love I had so much fucking fun on episode one. Like I know Greasy Steve and Rybox did too. Um, we're gonna keep doing more of that stuff as those come in. Probably just end up doing like a few more boob vests too. Like the reason why I wanted to do the this episode two, just I feel like there's just so much ground like we had to cover, so um, like, I mean, yeah, definitely have to just kind of talk about all this shit like right at the start just to get a good groundwork for future episodes. But uh, invite your friends, Chester Mere Complainers Facebook page. Yeah, awesome. Um, hope you enjoyed episode two, and we'll catch you all in the next episode, the car episode.