OYK 8: 80085 Titty Avenue

Kayla, Kirstie, and Moony discuss what has them on their knees & answer unhinged questions.

This week, we talk socialist utopia, Jeremy Wick, and kinks.

Send your questions to our email (onyourkneespod@gmail.com) or Google Form (Linktree: @onyourkneespod) for a chance to get an answer from these lil freaks.

Thanks for listening xoxo

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

My bananas have to be a little bit green still.

SPEAKER_05 0:03

No, I do love a green banana. I was just trying to be really nice. I do love a hard banana. I lied because I love you. Hard versus sweet.

SPEAKER_04 0:14

I like them when they're hard. Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

See, I like a more ripe banana because then when because then it's sweeter in cereal. I've got dick on the brain.

SPEAKER_05 0:26

I did it. Kayla did it.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

I can't help what's in my brain. Dicks. What's up, Dicks in Vaginas? Dicks and vaginas. Welcome to On Your Knees, a queer comedy podcast where we answer your unhinged questions. I'm Kayla. I'm Mooney.

SPEAKER_05 1:06

And I'm Christy McInty. I lost my headphones because I laughed so hard. Welcome back. We've been gone. Starting off strong. We've been gone for a week.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

I feel like we are back. We get sleepover energy when we haven't seen each other in a little while.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

Totally. Yeah. Totally. That's exact. God, that's such a good description. Sleepover energy.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

That's what I like to call it. When I pass my like my dip, and then I go back up.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

Yep, exactly. It's that second wind. Yeah. Because right before this, I was doing a math quiz. So like my brain was like, math. That's what that means. And so I was like, uh oh. I could feel my cell phone.

SPEAKER_05 1:59

Then I saw your faces and I was like, ee, I got a dump. My spoons. My spoons are back.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

My spoons are back. Shingle and your spoons. Your throat. Your throat and my spoons.

SPEAKER_05 2:15

I was keeping them for you on there. Had to cough them up. Like Houdini.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Here you go.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

Houdini? All I can think about is salad fingers.

SPEAKER_04 2:27

Oh, I love her. She and I go way back. Is that a girl? Way back. No. I'm just gendering her. I was like, no. Things that are generally male, I love to just throw a she her on, you know.

SPEAKER_05 2:42

No, I love that. I just got extra excited because I thought maybe Salad Fingers was a girl.

SPEAKER_04 2:49

I would argue that Salad Fingers is a little feminine though. The way like talks like this is quite feminine. That's fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

Cuba cumbanella. Oh my god. What's got y'all on your knees this week?

SPEAKER_04 3:09

I want Kirsty to go first Dean.

SPEAKER_05 3:12

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Ooh!

SPEAKER_05 3:15

Well, I can't say much, so that's fair actually. Okay. So I'm on my knees because first of all, that white right there, that's my divorce papers. I'm getting notarized tomorrow. Past one week. Only a week, maybe? Four days? Five? I don't know. Let's hang out this far. A couple of people are cute. I'm flirting with people. I'm flirting too much with people. Okay. And now a couple people might be mad at each other.

SPEAKER_04 4:03

And are these two people friends?

unknown 4:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 4:17

Hold on. No, it's not funny.

SPEAKER_04 4:20

Yes.

unknown 4:21

It's not funny.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

It's not funny. It's not funny. It's not funny.

SPEAKER_05 4:26

But but that's kind of it.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Oh, buddy.

SPEAKER_05 4:34

It's funny. Oh, I think you're gonna find it.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Tell us more about this later.

SPEAKER_05 4:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

I want details later. I'm bad at filling in the blanks.

SPEAKER_05 4:41

I will say I didn't touch, kiss, or fuck anybody. So I don't know why everybody's still happy to do it. My crime is being adorable. Oh fucking sue me, why don't you?

SPEAKER_04 5:03

Okay. A love us quarrel, if you will. A love triangle.

SPEAKER_05 5:10

Yeah. We love a triangle. Now it's a love. Three people don't speak. That's not true. One of them's nice to me. One of them's still nice to me.

SPEAKER_04 5:24

Okay. Okay. Okay. Alright. Well, we'll revisit that. We'll come back to that. I can't wait to edit this and be like, oh no, I shouldn't. They won't. They won't.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

It's your life.

SPEAKER_05 5:39

It's still your life.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

And you're alive.

SPEAKER_05 5:41

You haven't even actually, you haven't even said anything. I haven't said anything. And I can't wait to clip it and put on Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

I'm more confused than all the career.

SPEAKER_05 5:48

You know what? Nope.

SPEAKER_04 5:51

Um, what has me on my knees? The sun? I'm worshiping her, and I have been. She's been so good to me. I mean, we had like one thunderstorm, which was, oh my god, so romantic in my bed with the windows open and the sound of the rain. I didn't even have to turn on my little Spotify sounds. I was gonna say they make apps for that, but you can get it in real life. It was it was there. Um had a friend come visit last weekend. Uh, and we had a long weekend because she was here from Thursday to Sunday, and it was just we were on the boat, we were at the lake, we were it was just that sounds so nice. And then Saturday we're going to the beach, so it's summertime, baby. It's fucking summer, and today somebody was like, and I was like, listen, I love Halloween. I love Halloween, but let me have this, please. You're allowed to have it.

SPEAKER_05 6:54

Okay, you can speak. Hold on.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

You can speak shut up. Shut up.

SPEAKER_05 7:03

You can speak, but shut up, you can speak to the messages. August 27th, and then you can start. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Okay, I'll read that. That feels fair. That's like when school to school.

SPEAKER_05 7:14

Yeah. Back to school is Halloween.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

Yeah. I'm legitimately writing it down so that um I don't forget. August 27th, you said? Yep. You'll hear from me on August 24th. You'll be hearing from my team.

SPEAKER_05 7:32

Happy Halloween! Oh my god. Kayla, why are you on your knees?

SPEAKER_03 7:44

Oh, buddy. Um, let me just get this written down.

SPEAKER_05 7:50

Okay, they're busy, so I'll just distract everybody. Oh, I was about to take my top off. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Damn it. Oh, Kayla, God! I can vamp a little longer if it needs me to. No, no.

SPEAKER_05 8:04

Opportunity's over.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

God damn it. I know, right? Um I'm on my knees for a lot of things right now, but and I know that I complained about um how hard dating is a couple of weeks ago. Harder than that is finding a new therapist. Oh my god. Because like not only am I like essentially kind of dating you to find out like which one's gonna work out. Totally. But I have to like give you all of my trauma up from this. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:45

You well, yeah, you have to relive it again, like again.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

Every time you find somebody new. And it always takes two sessions to get through everything. Yep. So the first one is just like I usually go chronologically, so I'll just start with my childhood. And by the time I'm like mid-high school, they're like over it. They don't want to hear anything else. They should be no, they shouldn't. It's like the it's like they they're like, okay, you gave me all your childhood shit. That must have been it, right? And I'm like, no, you don't understand. You wish.

SPEAKER_04 9:24

Like, you wish that shit up and I'm gonna keep talking. Like you hand the therapist the tissues.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Strap in. I want to do that next time, actually, just for a little bit of it.

SPEAKER_05 9:40

Just for a bit. Yeah, for a bit. You take the quest. Um like longer. Oh, be like, if you let him know before and be like, I need like a three-hour session to see if we're yeah, if I'm what you can handle, what I want from you. That's not true.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Unfortunately, the last one I was seeing seemed to be the only person in the area who did um uh internal family systems IFS therapy, which works the best for me. Um and also took my insurance. Um, and she immediately, like the first session I had with her, first or second session I had with her, started making me feel like I just wasn't trying. And I was like, okay, okay. I don't right, I don't think I want to see you again. And I didn't think that's a her problem. That's not a you problem. Right? Yeah. I did the thing that I frequently do with therapists where I just ghost like I don't go to my sessions and then they stop trying to contact me because it's so awkward to go to your therapist and be like, actually, you you bad, for me at least. It's you, not me, actually. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So now I have to go through the process again, which is so fun.

SPEAKER_05 11:09

Well, maybe this time I would just look at it as like the next one's gonna work, you know?

unknown 11:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

I think I also have like super high expectations because I had a really, really great therapist that I really clicked with, and then they got super sick and couldn't work anymore. Um and so like I'm gonna compare everybody to this person who a lot like 100% understanding.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

Totally.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:41

Totally.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

I'm so sorry. Yay, meeting new people. I know that alone is scary. One that you have like a stranger you have to tell your lore to. Yuck. Yeah. Yuck.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

And I know they're paid to listen to it.

SPEAKER_04 11:58

That's true for sure. I've thought about it.

SPEAKER_05 12:03

Going forward. Wait, thought about what?

SPEAKER_04 12:04

I missed it because I cleared my throat. I didn't hear. Um, turning evil.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could, I mean I just feel like there's something about me that wouldn't be really hard, actually.

SPEAKER_05 12:18

Yeah, you can start the brainwashing we were talking about last time.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, ready? Brainwashing. I need a change of pace. This is basically my my um midlife crisis.

SPEAKER_05 12:34

Is it working? Did it work?

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Maybe. I don't know. Give me, let it set in.

SPEAKER_04 12:46

Just give it it's got like a 30-minute processing, like that suggestion would would have I'm gonna run it back.

SPEAKER_05 12:59

Suggestin. It already sounds like I did it backwards. It totally did. It totally did peak shit. That suggestion would have been given to you. What rather this hello? God, like vocal warm-ups.

SPEAKER_03 13:21

Maybe I am evil and I've cursed you.

SPEAKER_05 13:26

Turning you evil came back threefold immediately. Oh my god. I don't believe in that shit. Um either. We have a question from someone. And what I was gonna say, I would have suggested you become evil no matter what, but this does have something to do with it, also.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited.

SPEAKER_05 13:49

Um, this is from one of my friends named Joel. And he he saw this on Reddit, but he wanted us to talk about it on the podcast. So um if you were evil, what would your dream job be? Oh my god. Because everybody's like, what's your dream job? But what would it be if you were evil? If I was evil.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Yeah, because I don't really have a dream job because I know because fuck working.

SPEAKER_04 14:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

Um if I was evil, I'm afraid of the things this might say about me.

SPEAKER_05 14:28

Me too, and I'm excited to get into it.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

I want you guys to go first. Uh fuck.

SPEAKER_05 14:35

To gauge how evil we get.

unknown 14:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:39

How hard are we going?

SPEAKER_04 14:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Exactly. Cause, okay. You know how people will ask, like, if you could go back in time, would you kill baby Hitler? Yeah. I feel like my dream job would be a like mad scientist who goes back into the past and kills bad boys. Evil people. So evil.

SPEAKER_05 15:02

That's not evil. I guess that's like uh anti-hero.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

But if you're killing babies regardless, that's kind of fucked.

SPEAKER_05 15:09

Not if you're not a genocidal baby.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

You know, that's fair.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

You heard a hair first.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Yeah, kill babies.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

Kill listen, I would I would yeet one for less if it was in my body.

SPEAKER_05 15:26

Oh, that? Yeah. If it was in my body, that's not evil. To be fair, that's not evil that's a parasite. That that's a parasite.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

I got a tapeworm, but I feel like this my answer to this actually just showed exactly how hard it is to make me evil. No, literally.

SPEAKER_05 15:46

Because you know what my very first thought was.

SPEAKER_04 15:49

I wonder if it's the same as mine. Go ahead, you go first. I highly doubt it.

SPEAKER_05 15:53

Okay, and so disappointed. Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

What? Okay.

SPEAKER_05 15:57

I I wrote that down to remember it, and I said I would become Elon Musk's wife. For two Y. For the money and for your children. For the money and evil, yeah. I'd be a wife. I'd he sucks. I'm evil.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

You probably wouldn't actually have to have sex with him either.

SPEAKER_05 16:20

He probably can't. Well, which we are. There's like 27 of them.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

But they're all in V trips.

SPEAKER_05 16:28

I'll kill them all first because I'm evil.

SPEAKER_04 16:31

One last wife. Last wife. Last wife. Um okay, yeah, not what I was thinking. Because like I was like, oh, I was like, my evil thing would be kill billionaires, but that's like a favor. So that's like not evil.

SPEAKER_05 16:49

Okay, so I'm bad. I'm the worst.

SPEAKER_04 16:51

No, no, no, no, no. Because my second thought was I would I would go around and like I would I would transform myself invisible and it would tie everybody's little shoelaces together. And I would that's your job? You get paid for the do it like like a poltergeist, but alive, and I would just do evil little shit. I would just take all your knives and your socks, and that would hide the things that you need, like your charger. Pranks for hire. Yes! Pranks for hire, but ones that really send you over the edge. Like just give you your 13th, 14th, and 15th fucking reason. Me. That's the kind of evil I would be.

SPEAKER_05 17:31

I don't think I'm evil enough to play my evil tracks.

SPEAKER_04 17:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would, I would, I you have an enemy you want to get rid of? I'll tie him to the train tracks. So you want to be snidding whiplash. Not in Indiana, baby. We do. Yeah. Everywhere. Oklahoma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. I would be like a Gargamel, like the Smurfs guy. Like just evil.

SPEAKER_05 18:06

Little guy.

unknown 18:06

A little guy.

SPEAKER_04 18:10

Yeah, the tricks.

SPEAKER_05 18:13

I hate my answer. Why?

unknown 18:18

Money!

SPEAKER_03 18:20

Money! Money helpful.

unknown 18:22

Money!

SPEAKER_03 18:23

I don't care. Honestly, you could go to the city. If I didn't have to worry about money right now, I probably wouldn't be this depressed.

SPEAKER_05 18:31

Dude, and whoever said money can't buy happiness, because the most evil thing. Yes, either being Elon Musk or propping him up. Yes, exactly. Supporting him.

SPEAKER_04 18:51

That is evil. That is evil. It is evil. You just have everything you want and then be void of everything else.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

The contention is between the word want in the question and evil. Because I don't want to be evil. Exactly. Right.

SPEAKER_05 19:08

It's as if you were evil. So yeah, we don't want it. Just happened. It just happened. Cable would be a pussy wrestler. We already found out. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:19

And I would be, I would be like an old timey villain. One that like walked walked with my feet out. With my feet out first in my little club. That would be me.

SPEAKER_05 19:33

And my answer was essentially White Woman Plus.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Fuck. Upgrade your subscription.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Upgrade your subscription is crazy. Oh my god. Oh my fucking God. You guys are funny. I love that move to tear up. I loved that.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

I won't lie. I did take a couple hits off my dab pin because of my back. So is it helping or do you feel everything all at once? Um actually because I wasn't actively in pain yet. I was just, I could feel my back tensing, and I was like, maybe I can chill myself out before it really starts to hurt. Um, I don't have pain and I don't really feel the tension anymore. So hopefully it's gonna be like this for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_05 20:30

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:32

I'm gonna do a 180 here. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

A 180?

SPEAKER_05 20:38

Yeah, sad. So from Dorian, our flannel. Oh my gosh. She asks, Defeat capitalism, create socialist utopia. How to? How to? Unfortunately, the answer is violence. Yeah, thousands of sense.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

You want utopia. I want to give my real answer so bad. Because it literally just starts with teaching kids how to be kind to each other. Yeah, we're teaching empathy, baby.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

Radical.

unknown 21:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:19

Um, and I mean people are dead. We're right. So the we're the viol the violence. We're killing it. So violence and the empathy. We're getting rid of the billionaires and we're distributing the wealth. It's gotta happen. We should eradicate money altogether. I mean honestly.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Agreed. Absolutely. Honestly. Eradicate hierarchy, but I'm also an anarchist, so burn it.

unknown 21:44

Burn it.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 21:46

No money. Stay warm. No money.

SPEAKER_05 21:48

We teach everybody how to garden. Make shit.

SPEAKER_04 21:51

Mm-hmm. Order. Everybody gets a house. Give.

SPEAKER_05 21:56

If you have a house. You have healthcare. You've got a car. Whatever you need. We don't need cars anymore. Everything's walking out.

SPEAKER_04 22:05

You need medicine. You need to take care of your Mima and your pee-poo. We're doing it.

SPEAKER_05 22:10

And we're gonna make the first medicine work, is the thing. I'm thinking of utopia. You're gonna take a medicine, and then you're not gonna need six more to make sure it works right.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

That's so real. That would be awesome, actually.

unknown 22:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

I need to call my psychiatrist.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 22:32

Yeah. Utopia? Nature just heals itself.

SPEAKER_05 22:38

Yeah. If we stop production for a while.

SPEAKER_04 22:45

Every single billionaire goes to alligator Alcatraz.

SPEAKER_05 22:50

Oh. I don't even want to give them like a thought that they might be a.

SPEAKER_04 22:55

I just think Well, they'll just fry in the sun because that's what's happening to those people in that fucking camp right now. They're frying. It's bad. Oh. Really fucking bad. So that's what they'll that's where they'll go. Or we'll just like put them out in the wilderness, like up north.

SPEAKER_05 23:11

Did you know flock cameras have two whole pounds of copper in them? What does? Do with that what you will. Flock cameras.

SPEAKER_04 23:20

Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw that recently.

SPEAKER_05 23:22

Two pounds. Two pounds of copper. They'll get you a pretty penny.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Yeah. It can't be that hard to get him down.

SPEAKER_05 23:33

Did you see the video? There was like a guy climbing up one. He's in the camera and he said, I see you, Peter Teal. Oh, dude. That was incredible. Incredible.

SPEAKER_04 23:45

Oh my god. That's a rabbit hole. I just fell down.

unknown 23:49

Love that.

SPEAKER_04 23:50

Peter Teal and his new cult. Yuck. Anyway. Anyway. I hate that bitch. My god. That's not so utopia. Our utopia looks like gardening and like not needing money and gardening, helping people.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Health.

SPEAKER_04 24:09

I mean, just yes. We're just taking we're not we're just taking care of each other. We we're taking care of ourselves because we don't see that enough.

SPEAKER_05 24:18

Everybody has their own version. She just asked how to. It's violence and then empathy after. It is violence and then empathy.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

We got it. I know we just did all of this violence.

SPEAKER_04 24:30

I I and I am so tired of people being like, it isn't the answer. I'm sorry. That's historically. Historically.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Shit changes. Did you forget about the French Revolution? I don't know why.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

I don't know why people shit on the French because they know how the fuck to do shit. Even in the last five years, they've been setting shit on fire.

SPEAKER_05 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

Setting just throwing shit in front of their fucking government build literal horse shit in front of government buildings. Speaking of, I quit my job last night. Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Oh yeah. And you know what? Yeah. It sucks we live in. $11 was not worth it.

SPEAKER_05 25:14

Insane.

SPEAKER_04 25:15

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 25:16

$11 for what I say, like three hours of work. Mm-hmm. Or something. So that's like an insult.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

That's insulting.

SPEAKER_05 25:24

Or no, it's two hours. Because it's editing.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_05 25:28

Doesn't matter. Right? It was oh, it doesn't matter. But I mean, it's two hours. So I'm like, okay, I know I'm gonna make barely any money off of this because it's like a thousand-word book. It's just like a little thing. And I'm editing it. And I finish and I do the editorial letter and I get these fucking notes back and that are like not good. And I was like, and they like completely changed my addiction and my voice in the editorial letter. I'm like, why am I writing an editorial letter if you don't want it to sound like me? That's insane. It was insane. And so I was like, bye. For 11 million.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

This is how neur neuro it's the difference between neurotypicals and neurodivergent people because like you're asking for something and I'm giving you that, and that's actually not what you wanted.

SPEAKER_05 26:19

Right. Okay. Yeah.

unknown 26:21

What?

SPEAKER_05 26:22

They were like changing things. There's like prompts for me to give notes in, and I would answer them the prompts I was giving, given basically, and then they would cross out, like take out parts of my answer. And I was like, this is exactly what you asked for. And that is that's so neurotypical to like get a direct answer to something and be like, that is not what I asked for.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

What the fuck do you mean?

SPEAKER_05 26:56

It's like the same way they get upset when you ask any clarifying questions. They're like, no excuses.

unknown 27:04

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 27:07

You walk from me. Yeah. I'm glad you quit it. It's over. That was awful.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

Yeah, I'm glad you quit it too. Honestly, you should have stopped when you had to read that cop's book.

SPEAKER_05 27:19

That was insane. That was my second book.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

That was awful. Me like be cop.

SPEAKER_05 27:26

Me like go to go to like a five-minute whole long stand-up set from just that, though. So that was a good thing. Oh yeah. I'm sure that's awesome. But no.

SPEAKER_04 27:40

It's like reading something a caveman wrote in high school.

SPEAKER_05 27:44

It was like reading something ChatGPT wrote.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

Worse than a couple of things.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

Today, somebody, one of my co-workers, I was lamenting about being in math. And she was like, which at first it was really sweet because she was like, How's school going? And I said, Well, I'm taking a summer class just to get it out of the way. I'm taking quantitative reasoning. And she was like, Oh, I bet that sucks. I said, Yeah, it does, because I'm like having a hard time retaining, blah, blah, blah. And she was like, Oh, just chat GPT it. And I was like, ha ha ha. We were in the middle of a fire drill, and she we're walking back inside, and she's like, Oh, just look up the just use chat GPT. And I was like, Well, then I'm not learning anything because that's not I'm not using my brain critically.

SPEAKER_05 28:27

The point the fire alarm went off and she was like, Chat, what do I do?

unknown 28:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:33

Chat, where's the fire extinguisher? Chat, should I go inside? Should I go outside?

SPEAKER_03 28:41

Chat GPT, no, stay where you are, actually. It's just a little fire.

SPEAKER_04 28:46

Sometimes I forget that I'm at work and I my dark humor comes out, and like somebody was like, What do we do if we're on fire? And I was like, stand still and let it take me. And somebody else was like, stop, drop, and roll. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

The difference between depression and people who don't have depression.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Yeah, uh, when you're depressed, you're funny, dude. What do you mean? Like, yeah, your answers are boring. They're dumb. Let the f flames purify me. What do you mean? Like my the ancestors ancestors before me. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

It would cure my depression, honestly.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

Yeah, that's your that's your one pill. Fire burning down.

SPEAKER_05 29:36

God. Um what's y'all's favorite thing to pass time? Asks Danielle. Actually, let me say it exactly how she said it. Okay. Danielle, she, her, I'm trans. Which I just love it. Hell yeah, girls love it.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

I love meeting community.

unknown 30:00

I know.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

I love that everybody wants us to know because they're like, I'm, I love that I can tell you all this. And I'm like, how do you think?

SPEAKER_03 30:06

I think you know I'm trans. I know. I think you lose.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

Um, what's our favorite thing to do to pass time? Yeah. Oh, I just, oh, like anything. Um, no, that's not true. Um, I mean, a bunch of stuff. I love to do all kinds of stuff, but I'll tell you what, I love to bed rot. Yeah. I do. And when I'm and when I'm really in it, stinky, just half naked, bed rot on a Sunday, nothing to do, bitch. Are you fucking kidding me? Snacks. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Comfort show.

SPEAKER_04 30:41

Crumbs. Pets crumbs, crumbs, crumbs, a cat nearby, um, uh-huh, favorite, and and just scrolling. And my my phone's like, hey, you've been on, you've been on, you've been on me for 12 hours.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Then I'm like, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Scroll away. I tried to turn on like um the like hour maxes on my my apps, and I was like, actually, I'm not done, so I'm gonna ignore that, and then I had to just turn it off because I yeah, yeah, yeah. It was getting in the way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

But I also don't like scroll the way I used to. If I if I'm like not bedrotting, then I'm with people that I I love and are making me laugh. Laughing is a fun way to pass the time.

SPEAKER_05 31:27

Yeah, that's mine is spending so much time with friends lately. And even not friends, I keep just kind of like going to bars and finding people that were going to like a little place. I mean, like, I'll know one person. Like last night I went to a nerd night, and they were just showing the new Superman, and it was me and a friend of mine invited me, and then I met some other people that take the acting classes at the place I took mine at. And it was just meeting strangers. You know a lot. Recently, someone we're kind of close to was talking about how they don't have a lot of friends and like don't get out a lot. And I know it can be scary and I know it can be hard, but I just want to shake people sometimes and be like, leave your house. House. Like if it is bothering you, you have to leave the house. Yeah, you gotta go. You gotta get out of here.

SPEAKER_04 32:30

I mean, just getting just getting your mind off of the thing, exactly. You gotta go. Yep. Just getting your mind off of it and getting like changing your surroundings, right? Yeah so like yeah, absolutely. I love to bed rot when I'm not sad. When I'm sad is when I'm sad and depressed, is when I'm like, no, I do need to get outside and go for a walk. Because guess what? I guess it really does fucking work. When you're sad to go on a fucking walk, it pisses me off, but it works too, it works. Stupid biology. Anyway, my thing is like being alone.

SPEAKER_05 33:08

Like, I just I said anyway, my love. No, these are people, they were literally talking about wishing they had friends. And I'm like, Yeah, you gotta go make them. You gotta go get some.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

You gotta go make them. You gotta go make them.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

They're not gonna exactly if you're shy, introverted, like it doesn't fucking matter. People are so cool. Like, actually, like if you go to a place.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

And you can you can pick events and things that are more low-key than going to a yes.

SPEAKER_05 33:37

I was gonna say if you go to like some join a book club theater show of a thing you like and just turn next to the person, I do this all the fucking time. I say, hi, I'm Kirsty. Like I introduce myself like a child to strangers. Like, hello. Do you want to be best friends? Literally.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

See, as for somebody like me who I want to meet people, but I my anxiety is like everybody thinks you're stupid and ugly immediately upon looking at you. I need somebody like you be like, hi, I know, I know, because then when I'm sitting next to somebody like you, I'm like, oh hell yeah, now we're about to kiki and we instantly click. Like, yeah, and then it comes out in me.

SPEAKER_05 34:22

So I love it. There's a girl coming to visit me. We met at the my brother, my brother, me show in Huntington, and we've only met one time, but she's coming to Oklahoma to come hang out for a few days, and like we just like met up once. I'm so excited!

SPEAKER_04 34:40

That's really exciting.

SPEAKER_05 34:42

So, you guys have like maintained you guys just talk and like yeah, a little bit, like sometimes on Instagram, but it's she likes to travel, and I was like, Oklahoma City is really underrated, and so she's gonna come and hang out with me. That's fine. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

See, I had a bad experience doing that with a friend though, because I when I was like 1920, um, an internet friend of mine was like, My mom works at an airline and can get you tickets to come hang out. And I was like, cool. And I was there for I was supposed to be there for two weeks. I only packed for two weeks. Um and I was stuck there for two months in the middle of Arizona in fucking Phoenix, Arizona, in the middle of the summer. It was awful. Like 19. Yeah, no. Yeah, why do we repeat why you were stuck? I was stuck because she kept insisting that I just move there. And I was like, She kidnapped you essentially.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

And I was too like awkward to be like, actually, I don't want to be here.

SPEAKER_05 35:55

You're giving me a whole list of people I have to kill after I hang up.

SPEAKER_03 35:59

Actually, and the thing that the thing that got me to finally stand up for myself and be like, I need to leave was my little brother called me, and hearing his little maybe five-year-old voice at the time had me break down in tears and be like, I wanna go.

SPEAKER_05 36:17

Yeah, that's insane. So no, that's why. I'm not saying that that's gonna happen everyone. No, I mean we're both in our 30s and she's getting her own, she has her own Airbnb. Like, we're not, she's not staying here, like nothing, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, as a 19-year-old, I did shit like that too. Like, I moved to Colorado for a week with a girl I didn't know, and then I say for a week for a reason. Yeah, yeah. Shit happens when you're young. Absolutely that's crazy. She was fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

This was also the friend who when I was when I finally got back to Oregon and I um was moving in with my best friend, I was like in literally day of moving. Um, she this friend from Arizona texted me and was like, I don't even know why we're friends. You don't ever talk to me. Like, because I hadn't texted her that yet that day. And so I replied, you know, I don't know why we're friends either. And then I immediately blocked her.

SPEAKER_05 37:20

I have had friends that do that, and they get cut off so fast. That is the biggest red flag. Yeah, so weird. That and I don't like, and I know we did this, but we also kind of followed each other and slowly got closer. Whenever somebody meets you and like that same day, or not even a week later, like we're the same person. Oh my god, we should be best friends. I'm like, I can't. Red flag. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

We I don't think we did that.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I okay, Kayla, you just read my mind because I was like, but you and I said we shared an umbilical cord in like two weeks.

SPEAKER_05 38:05

That was like a month, and we also followed each other on threads for like a month before that. That's true.

SPEAKER_04 38:12

Okay, okay, okay, good. I was like, oh no, am I insane?

SPEAKER_05 38:18

No, this is just like people you meet, and like you just know what's going on. Because also, even if it was fast, we had been chatting for hours and hours and hours a day for like a month.

SPEAKER_04 38:30

True.

SPEAKER_05 38:31

These are people that are like meet you and then they're like, I'm obsessed. Attach themselves to you.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because that's an emotional vampire. That's like a huge red flag. That's somebody who's spooky. Yeah, latching onto you and trying to drain you of your essence, dark crystal style.

SPEAKER_05 38:50

I also have another one from Danielle Sheher, I'm trans. And I don't know if it's a question or a compliment. Okay. Because I give three lines for questions, right? She put a question. There's one a thing in the middle. I don't know if it's a question or not. And then at the end, she just goes, hi, OMG, hello. But this in the middle here, it says perfect background noise for doing something. I don't know if she means our voices or she wants suggestions. So I'm gonna suggest our voices. Our voices agree. Us on your knees pod. Yeah, I love it. I just thought that was funny. And I have another one.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Like, oh, I was gonna give an answer.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

You're like a real answer, not us. You're like, don't listen to us.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

You can listen to us, but then afterward, this isn't for everyone, actually. I listen to a lot of true crime true crime YouTube videos while I'm like doing the dishes and shit.

SPEAKER_04 39:59

Oh my god, I have one for you. I have a two and a half hour essay for you to listen to, and it's on that fucking documentary, Maternal Instinct. And I don't know if you watched it, we don't have to get into it. It's really fucked up. I didn't, but I'm gonna I'm gonna send it to you because it's way more detailed and you're gonna Okay, all right, anyways. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 40:19

Yay, okay Christine. Have you considered listening to not that until you find a therapist? I thought you were just gonna say I love you so much. But I only I'm not saying it for any reason other than when I listen to that stuff. And it affects you. I'm like, I'm feeling kind of bad. It does. And that's like the first thing I try to change. I'm like, oh, Mr. Ball and stuffing me up. That's what's happening.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

You're right, you're right, you're right. I know.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

It's just a friendly suggestion. Coming from personal screens.

SPEAKER_03 41:03

I will also watch the like stupid um like ranking um this week's like internet super supernatural videos.

SPEAKER_05 41:16

Like oh, yeah, like Laney.

SPEAKER_04 41:19

The ghosts people saw this week. Yeah, I really like Slapped Ham a lot. I don't know if you watch Slapped Ham and then there's one other I can't remember. You don't we don't Slapped Ham. You don't like that guy's voice? It's more I don't like chills. I hate chills, but I like slapped ham because it's got a brand.

SPEAKER_05 41:37

Slapped ham shows the most obviously fake stuff that I just got. Yeah. I'm like, oh my god. I agree. Their shit is bad in a mystery. It got bad because I did use to watch, and that's how I noticed. I was like, this all sucks now.

SPEAKER_04 41:52

It does suck. Because it's like just TikTok videos, and I've seen them, and I'm up at I'm up at night watching these. So exactly. I you I loved Slapped Ham.

SPEAKER_05 42:01

I also plays them like five times and talks so slow. And I'm like, you don't have to make this video after long.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Who's the other guy that goes, did you see it?

SPEAKER_05 42:11

Oh, is that not chills? Oh my god, Chills. No, no, Chills is not Chills, is it?

SPEAKER_04 42:16

Chills is Burger King foot lettuce. That's chill.

SPEAKER_05 42:19

But I do love I do love Did you see it?

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Did you see it? What is it? What is the name of that?

SPEAKER_03 42:27

I can't remember. I can't remember. I can't remember see it. I'm like so tempted to just look through my YouTube subscription. I know, right?

SPEAKER_05 42:35

While you're looking, I have another one that's not a question, but I wanted to read it. Okay. Have a small discussion with y'all about this. About okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:45

Um is it from Dan? No. Miss you Dan.

SPEAKER_05 42:49

Yeah, come back, Dan. Um this is from Violet. They them she her. Um, they said, not really a question, but a statement. You guys should make a feline. We are all a bunch of silly weirdo. And the first thing I'm gonna say already birthed a feline. Here's the thing. Okay. I am going to maybe assume English isn't their first language, so that's not the problem here. Yeah, yes. I just wanna figure out birth a feline. Make a feline. Oh. You guys should make a feline. We are all a bunch of silly weirdo. So Violet feels kindred to us, and I love that. Yes. Oh yeah. But Violet, what?

SPEAKER_04 43:45

Clarification, please, my dear.

SPEAKER_05 43:47

So I have a question.

SPEAKER_04 43:48

Like Frankenstein a feline, is that? Make a feline.

SPEAKER_05 43:53

Make a feline. Dog head, owl body, cat dog. Call it a feline. Cat dog.

SPEAKER_03 44:03

Cat dog. Very good. What if courage the cowardly dog was a cat actually? He could pass as one.

SPEAKER_05 44:11

He would be actually courage, though. It'd be courage the courage cat.

SPEAKER_04 44:17

Courage the cat. Oh my god, you're on to something. Okay, make a feline. And and what was the second portion?

SPEAKER_05 44:29

We're all a bunch of silly weirdo.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

I mean I mean, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_05 44:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

Yeah. That's just a statement. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 44:38

They just yeah. Thank you. And they said we, so they are putting themselves in there. So I love that for us.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

For all of us. You little freak.

SPEAKER_05 44:52

Oh. I'm just kind of running through them, but I did also uh these aren't we don't have to answer these. Or we could. We could, but I did ask my Instagram story. I was like, quick, ask a question. Blah blah blah. Um three of them are just sexual. And I got four questions. Four questions. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

Well, okay.

SPEAKER_05 45:23

Um what's the wildest thing you've ever done? Not inherently sexual, but come on.

SPEAKER_00 45:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:31

Um kinks, y'all have considered giving a shot. And then in parentheses, bondage, tickling, roleplay, etc. Yes, thanks for the familiar. Those are all very vanilla. Yeah. Okay. Tickling. I I'm sorry. Tickling is so diabolical. Like, that is not vanilla to me. If you that's evil.

SPEAKER_04 45:52

If that's it is evil. That's what you could do if you wanted to be evil, is you could be the tickler.

unknown 45:58

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

That's your name. That's your villain.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

Um I I don't I hadn't planned doing an unhinged today. But I have an old message on my Fet Life that I feel like I need to share with you.

SPEAKER_05 46:16

Oh my god. We're gonna hinge vintage, baby.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

We're gonna link that fat life when we're done. When we're doing housekeeping, you're gonna link it. Maybe. No.

SPEAKER_05 46:27

We can't talk about Fet Life. Other podcasts steal our true.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

That's ours.

SPEAKER_04 46:35

Listen.

SPEAKER_05 46:36

No, I forgive you. Please give me an interview.

SPEAKER_04 46:39

Actually, yeah. Hey. Hey. Actually, I'm really good at my job. Hey, they're really good at their job, and I'm a big fan.

SPEAKER_03 46:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:51

Anyways.

SPEAKER_03 46:53

Let's do another segment though, and I'll try to get this open because it's taking forever to load.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

Well, let's make a feline for Violet. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

So, so I've I've got one. I've got one for us.

SPEAKER_05 47:05

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:06

Welcome to Pobcats. Okay. Um. I'm really proud of that one. So if you could go ahead and uh look upon the thing I've sent. Um this is my This is my dear friend Katie. Uh this is her son. Her biological son. Okay. Yes, of course. Um, I'm gonna need you guys. We're so we're gonna talk about it, okay? He's rotund. He's mouthy. He's mouthy. I've met him. He's got his mouth over. He's long lost win, honestly. Yells. He yells a lot. He does a lot of talking. Uh-huh. Um and also, look how soft he is. I mean, he's so soft in more ways than one. So, any guesses on his name?

SPEAKER_05 48:04

That is John Wick.

SPEAKER_04 48:10

And that first picture. So we're gonna throw it up now because that's why. That's John Wick.

SPEAKER_03 48:19

The name I wanted to give him was not appropriate. Well, because of the gun. Because of the gun. I wanted to call him Jeremy, like the Pearl Jam song.

SPEAKER_05 48:34

Oh no. Okay. Well not the pumped-up pigs.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Not the pumped-up pigs, I know.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

Okay. Okay, ignore that.

SPEAKER_05 48:46

That's Jeremy Wick.

SPEAKER_03 48:48

Jeremy Wick is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 48:53

Okay. Jeremy Wick, the third. Yeah.

unknown 48:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:59

Alright. Um, so how many brain cells do we think he has? Brain cells.

SPEAKER_05 49:03

So he can wield a gun. That's his real hand. He can wield a gun.

SPEAKER_04 49:06

I mean, that's his real hand. He has a thumb.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

He does also have so much to say.

SPEAKER_04 49:12

Oh, but that doesn't necessarily equate. And he's rude. Right. He's not kind.

SPEAKER_05 49:18

Okay. I'm speaking. He swears a lot. The more I learn, I think six out of ten brain cells is what I'm thinking. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

I don't know. I'm gonna give him like a four because people with not that many brain cells can also hold a gun.

SPEAKER_04 49:34

That's so true. But he's a kid. We've got cops. We've got cops.

SPEAKER_05 49:41

We do, but the thing is, Jeremy Wick would never be a cop.

SPEAKER_04 49:45

Jeremy Wick would never be a cop.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

Jeremy, no, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 49:48

Especially considering his mother is a lesbian, okay? He he know he a cat is how he feels.

SPEAKER_05 49:56

That's all cats are bastards.

SPEAKER_04 49:58

All cats are bastards. Straight. Um he is yeah, he's just a special boy, and you know, look at him. He's yelling, he's screaming. Uh disgusted. So his name is Marvin Gay. But I call him Meevis. That's fucking Meevus, dude.

SPEAKER_05 50:28

Yeah, we call him head behind him. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:31

And Ollie behind him. Which is so funny. Ollie, Ollie is like a 75-pound, just like beautiful angel, um, afraid of Meavis. Just like, ah, yeah, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's great. And Meevis is like, ah, look at him. Ah. Yeah. I love it. Love you, Meevis, and your six brain cells. You're still. Just take it out. Just have whatever you want. Yay, Meevus.

SPEAKER_05 51:08

That was great. That was a good choice. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

Jeremy. It's Jeremy Wick.

SPEAKER_05 51:12

Oh my god, it's Jeremy Wick. Um I'm just off doing that voice. I'm going to karaoke later. I'm going to be like, well, I guess I could sing Jeremy. Stuck in the fucking voice.

SPEAKER_03 51:29

I don't, I think I might have thrown away or no blocked the big edged. I hate it. I am so sorry, but I can tell you what it was. Okay. Um the first message. I mean, it's it's Fat Life, so this isn't surprising, but the first message I get from this guy is just can I like your armpits? And I immediately was like, and I I didn't say this in the message, but I I was like, I don't know you. That's a step a little too far for someone I don't know. That's my armpit. I don't know you. I don't do armpit one-night stands. Um you'd have to get to know each other first.

SPEAKER_04 52:13

You have to take my armpits out first for weakness.

SPEAKER_05 52:19

Um what year was this?

SPEAKER_03 52:22

1920. Recently, wait, maybe within the last year or two.

SPEAKER_05 52:26

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

And like I don't use the account really ever except to open it sometimes and look at the messages, and then I get a flood of messages because my account was active. Oh right. Um So I saw at first I was like, I'm super ticklish, so no. And he was like, no, no, no, it won't tickle. I swear. Can I please lick your armpits? And I'm like, You can't tell me that and also no. Unless they want you to beg, don't fucking beg. I literally, I don't know. We have not we have not established that dynamic. Yeah. Uh which like I expect from men. Like, still not okay. But I'm so fucking used to men not taking your first note for an answer. The baris.

SPEAKER_04 53:13

So it's all, if you will.

SPEAKER_03 53:16

Um and I I guess I must have blocked him after probably his third or fourth attempt to to convince me. Um but yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:28

Men.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

I wish I had the actual if I do find it, I will send a screenshot for I mean, and Fet Life, you can expect it, but also like that's just so out of it.

SPEAKER_05 53:39

Right. Yeah.

unknown 53:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:40

It's the keeping. Because if you're in like a kink space, you better respect like consent and rap. Totally everything. Like you better get fucking on it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:52

I had a guy at the fucking school a liter a guy from high school who I was not friends with, just like in passing, like, hey, bud, you know, get a hold of me years later on Fet Life and just sent me a picture of his shaved asshole. Legs back, no Shane Hollander style. Like, I was like, uh, what are we like, what are we doing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:21

What are we doing? I have three people on my kill list for after this, and I have to be a karaoke. Karaoke. Um, what were those questions that you got on your Instagram? I read two of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the uh what's the craziest thing we've done? What's the wildest thing we've done? Kinks y'all have considered giving a shot. And then my friend Krista said, Is pegging something you're into? If so, why? I want to just kind of go on a whole thing. I've considered and done several kinks. The wildest thing I've done. Get married twice. And I haven't pegged with a strap on, but I've used toys on people. And it was fine. I think I have to come to terms with maybe being a little bit of a receiver only. Unless you're dicking my throat.

SPEAKER_04 55:28

I mean, yeah, yeah. That's fine. That's also considered bottoming, though. Like that's also oh right.

SPEAKER_05 55:37

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:38

Yeah. It's okay. This is a space safe for enough for bottoms. We love a bottom. You're a bottom and that's okay. Thank God. I married a bottom. It's okay. It's okay. I'm a switch through and through. Yeah. So also kind of a bottom.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

But you tried to be a bottom.

SPEAKER_04 55:58

I drew more of a top. Oh, you tried to be a top.

SPEAKER_05 56:01

Oh, yeah, same. Yeah, I tried. Um, yes.

SPEAKER_04 56:06

Um again, I'm a switch through and through, so I'm I can be both. It just depends on the mood. Like I prefer to be a bottom just because I'm lazy and I just want I just want you to do it. I just want you to do it. Um, but if I'm but if I'm in the right mood, absolutely. I had an ex who I pecked all the time and was topping all the time, and he treated me like shit outside of the bedroom. So I was like, in the bedroom, I was like, Yeah, you about to get it.

SPEAKER_03 56:41

You about to get it. So nice, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:45

So and he did get it.

SPEAKER_03 56:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:49

Golly. Yeah, and that was fun. Me neither. Not with a strap on. I would like to. Yeah. It sounds like fun.

unknown 56:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:59

At least to like experience it.

SPEAKER_05 57:01

Yeah. I used to really, really, really want to, but then after I used like toys on a couple of guys, I was like.

SPEAKER_04 57:09

Yeah. I just like the power dynamic of it all. I was a little thrown at first because I will there wasn't really a conversation, which to be clear, there should always be a conversation first. Um, he just kind of was like, hey, and I was like, well, all right. Okay. Here we go. Right, exactly. I just kind of went with it, but then I was like, oh, I love this power dynamic. And and then we discussed it. So if everything is good and consenting and the power dynamic is healthy and all of that, then I say go for it. And um, that's what I did, and I like it.

SPEAKER_05 57:39

I'll try a lot of snakes.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost I will try most things once.

SPEAKER_05 57:44

Yeah. Sure. I um I am a brat. I'm very um Oh yeah, we just did our kink. I guess. Oh god. It's a kink. Bedroom only, established dynamics. Like, if you hear this and you take me out on a date and you think that's what's gonna happen in the bedroom without talking to me, I love coercion. Like, as long as I know that's what we're doing. Yeah, yes, exactly. Do not ever know conversations first. Lose to me. Yeah. If you try outside of that situation. I love C and C. Uh-huh. Same.

SPEAKER_04 58:35

Same. I have we're meant to be stocking fetish. Don't stock. I would never no, don't do it unless we've talked about it literally. It's not sexy when it's not. You put your address up. Don't do it. My address is 80085 at titty at no box. No. Um, yeah, I like the CNC and the very much free use. But don't unless we talk about it. Yeah.

unknown 59:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:21

Free use.

SPEAKER_03 59:21

No, my my more specific one is Somno. So what is it? Google, what hey Google.

SPEAKER_01 59:30

Um Alexa, what?

SPEAKER_03 59:32

While you're asleep or something.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

But also ask me first.

SPEAKER_04 59:38

If we are in an established relationship of two or more years, then you're welcome to it. Yeah. Waking up that way is great. If this is new and we're one month in, leave. Fuck you. Get out. Gross. No. Gross! How dare you? I haven't had sex in so long. Me neither.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:00

Dude, you don't even play.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:03

No. I am a slut. Not a year and a half for me. I'm not going to tell you how long it's been for me. So. What was the second question? It was kink. Uh oh, oh, I was I'm just gonna steal yours because it was a good one. I also married a straight man.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:22

At one point.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:23

That's the craziest shit that I've ever done.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:28

That was crazy.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:29

Well, to be fair, the first one was not straight. That was that was better. Okay. That was fine. Yeah.

unknown 1:00:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:39

The craziest shit I've ever done is just be attracted to men, period. Yes. Like why if I could fix that, I would.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:51

You wanna hear another one?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:52

I didn't get my mom's lesbianism. So damn.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:56

Sorry. I blame her. One of the other craziest shits ever done, not one. I used to do this a lot. I used to be a uh like rave girl, and I would straight up do like the poi shit in public at Stop. It's do you know how to spin poi? Like well, you do it's not embarrassing. Not with like fire. No, no, I have to. I don't know. I only say that it's not poi, first of all, because I think that's like a cultural thing. I just don't know another. I know. Neither do I. I mean, it's called I've only heard that term. Whipping shit around. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:39

I haven't done it in like It's flow. It's flow.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:43

Shit like that. I love that shit. And I think saying stuff like that and selling redacted at shows is probably some of the craziest shit I've ever done.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:54

That sounds like a fun fucking time. I tried to I tried to teach myself how to spin, and I just I could do a figure eight, I could go back around my head and stuff, but trying to like do like anything else, I just couldn't. I I watched so many YouTube videos. Yeah. I bought the equipment.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:14

I spent so much money. I just did it with um glow sticks, which was fun because I like how they look when they're but I was at a little DJ show the other day, and somebody was playing with some, and I was like, you were like 12 years. I'm like 14 years retired, and I'm like, let me see. Still got it.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:36

I would I would like um and I will I'll send you five dollars if you show me that what you can do. It's a close six buddy. I wanna see! I wanna watch this. I don't know if I can do it anymore. If I come visit, I'll bring mine. They glow. They flash. They hurt, man. Those fuckers hurt when you hit yourself with them. I know. They hurt like hell. I always like I always like I always like put the strap around my wrist and then like kind of choked up on it a little bit so the string was a little shorter. Because um whacking yourself with like the hard plastic hurts so bad. It sounds like it stings.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:18

Here's what we did: there were no straps. We took our shoelaces out of our shoes and put the glow stick on them and tied them together and held them on our middle fingers and just let them rip.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:36

That's genius.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:38

Innovative, cheap. It was literally like cheap and two dollars for a whole night of entertainment. Yeah. Well, besides the $40 on MDMA, yeah. $42.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:53

Good lord.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

I love that. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:57

I am so introverted, and like I spent a good portion of my early 20s with Agoraphobia that like I haven't done a lot of wild things, but honestly, I think accidentally moving to Phoenix, Arizona for this was maybe one of the wildest things I've ever done. To to like hang out with somebody who I knew online for maybe a month.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:23

Oh yeah. And the waiting till October to hang out, just to make sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:33

Or August 27th.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:36

August 27th. Happy Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:38

Halloween.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:39

I'm trying to think if I've done anything else like super wild. Like I'm not, I'm not gonna jump out of a plane. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna like doing it like that, you know. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:53

I do want to skydive. I dated a skydiving instructor for a while once, and I should have learned, but he talked too much.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:03

Shut up and fly this plane. Shut up and jump out of this plane. Let me hold that backpack though.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:13

I did date a pilot. Oh he wasn't a pilot when we were dating. He listens to this podcast. Hi.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:20

Hi, pilot Dave lying to us.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:25

Huh? I called him Dave. I don't know if that's his name. Dave? No. I said pilot Dave. Joel, and we answered a question from Pilot Dave.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:34

Oh my god, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:36

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:40

Well. Well, well, this has been this this was a good one, y'all. This was fun. We did it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:49

Maybe I almost feel like we need to be biweekly so that we can build up. I was thinking that too, but we can discuss that.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:01

Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:06

When's your interview? I don't know. I didn't get an email yet. Are we going to do that?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:12

But they didn't. Yeah, let's do it.

unknown 1:06:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:17

Yeah, you can forget. Thanks for watching. We were gone for another week. So I appreciate your patience. You can find us at Instagram on your knees. You can find us on TikTok. You can find us on all the socias. The socias. That's that's short for social media. So um uh our email. Listen, email us, email us your feet, email us your questions. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:54

Please don't send us pictures of your feet. Please, no, I don't. I hate feet.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:59

Okay, you can send it to plant.lace.gmail.com.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:05

No. Okay. Our gmail is on your knees pod at gmail.com. I nailed it that time, brother. Fucking guy. Nailed it. Um, send us pictures of your cats for my podcats. Um, and tell us we're funny and give us a uh thing to answer a question, please, and thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:28

Send Kayla unhinged screenshots of your dating app horrors. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:36

Please. You can be on the pod. I want to thank GWiz for our theme song. You can find more of their stuff at GWizoftestars.com, G W I Z of the Stars.com. They're a music producer and DJ based out of LA. I love her.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:53

Thank you, G Wiz.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:57

Thank you for listening. Um, sorry again that we were not here last week, but life be life in sometimes. Um and maybe you'll hear from us next week. So long as life ain't life. We'll see. You'll never you'll never know our next move.

unknown 1:08:16

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:17

Maybe you'll see us on Tuesday. We'll find out. Yeah. God. That's um, but whenever we do upload again, you can find us where find where we're streaming um on our bus route and also in our link tree that's linked in our bios. You'll find us.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:36

You'll find us. Actually, I think by now, if you just Google on your knees podcast, it just spolarship pops up. Our SEO is getting up there because I'd be hashtagging and yelling the names from the rooftops.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:50

And thank you for liking and commenting. We're still getting so many good likes and good so many comments, not likes, but we're still getting a lot of likes, but we're getting good comments, we're getting um positive feedback, and you guys are awesome. And thank you. And thank you for the video.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:06

I ran into a friend.

unknown 1:09:08

Hold on.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:10

I ran into a friend I hadn't seen since 2013. Oh my god. And they were like, What have you been up to? Blah blah blah. I said, Do you have an Instagram? We got each other's Instagrams, and I said, I have to follow you back right now because I keep getting followers because I we accidentally had a video go viral, so I don't want to miss your thing. And they were like, Oh, that's so crazy. I can't believe it went viral. Let me see it. And I showed them and they said, I just sent that to one of my friends. And I said, I said, that's me. They were like, I don't know. That's wild, it was crazy. We were screaming. It was so fun. Oh, I love that. It was so neat. I do too.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:54

I was like, that looks very fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:55

Yeah. So cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:57

Very cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

So weird. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:00

I know. I know.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:02

I look so tan.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:04

You do look so tan.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:07

That's why I said that earlier.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:08

I was like, oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:13

You do look so tan. You look golden. Golden. With the blonde. I'm pink. Why am I so pink?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:24

You're white.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

You're pink.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:26

I need to wear more sunscreen. And I do but more makeup. You're pink. Okay. You can lick my armpits.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:38

Here you go, everyone. I'll try to find his contact info and get you together. Actually for free. Wait.

unknown 1:10:46

Close up.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:47

$700.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:49

Yeah, literally. And you have to clean my whole house. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. In one of my dresses. In one of my dresses. And I don't care if it doesn't matter. A dress of my choice.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:01

And it's gonna do nothing for me because I don't. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:07

Wait, before we jump off of this, could be fun. Um, I was just watching uh a little YouTube video that uh Bob the Drag Queen put out called Date My Friend, and he had Nick Smith on, who's like best friends with uh Mateo Lane, and he surprised him by like bringing him to a studio, like all dolled up, and then was like, here are five people that want to date you. I put out on Instagram, and then at the end, it was such a funny episode, and then at the very end, he was like, Bob got really close to the camera and he was like, if you anybody out there has a friend who you want to surprise with, uh, do you want to date my friend? Email me. And my first thought was Kirsty. I was like, My first, and then I was like, no, wait. Kirsty would probably hate that because dating is gross, but also fucking it would be so funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:59

It would be funny, dude. It would be so funny.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:03

Should I ask him? I'm seeing him on Saturday. Are you serious? That's so fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:11

Yeah, just listen.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:12

Like, here, I heard.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:13

Ask him if he was serious because it was. I'll send a link because it was actually really funny. I will not actually get to see the lunch. You should chase Bob the drag queen down a sign. I never know.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:26

Can I want to be in front? Take my friend. Take my me.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:33

All right, well, anyways, okay. I'm gonna email him.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:37

So do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:41

Oh my god. We'll get flown to LA and then we can drive up to see Kayla.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:50

Okay. No manifest. Oh yeah, okay, you're right.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:00

Looney did shitted. Manifesting tasting poop. If you're manifesting poop, you didn't girl. You're both a girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:22

This is the bullet girl.