OYK 10: Clowns vs. Coyotes

Kayla, Kirstie, and Dan discuss what has them on their knees & answer unhinged questions. 

This week, we talk balloon animals, peeing our pants, and witchcraft.

Send your questions to our email (onyourkneespod@gmail.com) or Google Form (on our Linktree: @onyourkneespod) for a chance to get an answer from these lil freaks.

Thanks for listening xoxo

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Hello, furries and skins. Welcome to On Your Knees Podcast, a queer comedy podcast where we answer your unhinged questions. I'm Kirsty Mackinally.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

I'm Kayla. And I'm Dan Waters.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

And roll your eyes and we came.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Those are the two teams they have you pick when you play sports.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Furries and skins.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Yeah, I know all about sports. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

For a minute I thought skins was maybe like lizard people. I thought I or the no, those are scalys. I think that's what they call them. Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I should have said that. No, run it back.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Skins are the weird people who are like really like kin humans.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Oh that's even more than that's like theoranthropy live journal era circle back. You know.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Oh, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

This is gonna be a good one. Um Mooney's not here today. They couldn't make it. We've got a guest though. Do you wanna guess? You sent me an intro, but you're you're here. Do you want to talk about yourself a little?

SPEAKER_01 1:41

A little bit. I'm Dan, the one that sends in the questions. Um I thought it I thought that was appropriate because that one time where I was like, it's me, Dan, again. Um incredibly, yeah. So it's we dan again again. Um and uh Kristen Kayla were gracious in letting me fill in for Mooney, and I think it really was because I can do my eyebrows like them. I can I can fulfill the eyebrow wiggle.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

That's right. And all the everything else you have to do is just fly in with some bangers every once in a while, and we got it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Nobody will even know the difference.

unknown 2:24

Of course not.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

I do wish I had I had a neat set of like books or DVDs to show off like they do, but I only have like a very well I like the background.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

I do too. I do wish my only note is I wish there was a cat on the catch. I was just gonna say that.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Macchiato, unfortunately, because as you know, Super El Nino has hit is hitting us, and so my area is it is disgusting. And I'm on a third floor apartment, and so all the heat goes up. Thankfully, second floor um uh part of why I do hospice and elder care stuff or interest is because I'm taking care of my grandmother. She lives on the second floor, and we have the AC in her floor, so I decided Macchiato, both for like, I don't know what the chaos you're gonna bring to this podcast, but also your your little precious feetsies are sweating, so you should go into the AC. But yes, her name is Macchiato, and I do say it like an Italian accent when I come into the door, like Macchiato.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Yes, I mean, how else are we supposed to say it? It's an Italian word, so obviously she's Italian, she was more Italian.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Honestly, honestly, she is as like unimpressed uh as as as Italians are when like of tourists. So I think that's fairly accurate.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

She's like, Oh, you're back. He's back, right? Yeah, they're being good. I can hear them being really good.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

I've been gone for a week, so I like I feel bad locking around in the room.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

No, let them run around. It's the only way people watch our stuff.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

I know we need a compilation of all the cat bites. So good.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

I don't need you. Come here. Cat bites and beeholes. Super cut coming soon. It's gonna be six hours long. Hot take.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

I don't understand the people who blur out their animals' buttholes in like photos or have that weird little jewel thing that hangs on their tail. Okay. That's worse. That is worse.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

It is the beehole thing online. I'm like, that's kind of funny. That's a good bit. But some people are doing it seriously. Like, seriously, that's weird. But the jewel to hide it, yeah. What are you thinking about? Right? It's like the same.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

I've seen jewels like that before, and they don't belong on cats.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

No, no, oh my god. It's like the same people that are like, little girls shouldn't know how to dance on my homes game.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

That does shouldn't be alive, actually. That doesn't give the same exact prudish vibes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Right. It's so weird. Like, why are you sexualizing her? Okay, shoulder cat. Nice. Perfect, good start. Oh my god. She's missed me.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah. She's probably just gonna sit like this for a little bit. Jinks.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

I can't work in these conditions. Like a nice mink.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Mink stole, you know.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Sweetie. My cats are just oh my god, today. I'm learning how to make balloon animals and shapes and things. And turns out smudge loves balloons. Oh yeah. She I made a turtle and she fucking runs in, grabs it, and I'm like, hey, put that down. She runs under my bed like a dog. And like these balloons now, my friend told me that they like put shit on the outside of them, so they're like poison. So I was like, no, oh no. And every time I turned around, yeah, give me back my poison turtle. Every time I turned around, she had like a new bit. And I was like, where are you getting it? But I made a few things today. I made a swan. I made actually let's start this. What has y'all on your knees? I know my answer.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

I know my answer.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Um I looks like a mustache. I like the elegant. I'm on my knees because it's hot as balls in my house. It was 82 degrees when I walked in the door.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

They gotta let you turn on the AC.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

I did. I did. Anytime we record, I'm like, I'm turning on the AC. I literally don't care. Um and also on my knees to PG and E, who will charge me whatever the fuck they want for to not die in the heat. Yay. Love an energy monopoly.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Uh what has me on my knees is Lindsay Graham's death. Um like like how you know what I'm on my knees, much like he did, he did with all those sex workers.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

You know, they're yes. So many people just lost such a huge source of income. And I like they truly do. I do feel bad about that.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

But they gained a lot in the joy of telling the stories. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

I think Thoughts and Prayers, T-H-O-T.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Yes. Thoughts and prayers. I think we can pour one out for you know, all the ones that had their student debt cleared, you know, because of that.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

Hell yeah. Um I'm on my knees for balloon art.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Is it circus Instagram that got you or clown Instagram?

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Well, so I've been doing like clowny stuff for several years. Yeah. Eight years? Six years? Seven? So sorry.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

At least you said it.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

I thought it, but I'm just so hip. And um I like clown stuff. I've never really gone to trying anything. I just do the makeup and shit. And I am in a sketch comedy group, and we have a show coming up where we're doing all clown stuff, and it'll be the first time I've ever clowned professionally, and I'm so fucking excited. Wow. So before the show, I'm gonna be out in the crowd making people stuff to get them like ready. And I think probably my friend Allie's gonna join me. I don't know. Some of us are learning, we're gonna make stuff. Um so I just started learning today, and the show's in two weeks. So I'm a professional.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

I mean, you already made a turtle. That's like that seems like advanced to like AP history. That's what it feels like.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

That's the first thing I made today, and I was like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Didn't even start with dog.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

You were immediately I already knew how to make a dog. A dog is like wormhood.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Worm.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

Worm.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

Hot dog.

SPEAKER_03 10:01

I so I can make a worm. I can make what's your favorite animal? Oh, a worm. Okay, I got a worm, thank god. Snake, little harder. That's okay. Um I can make worm, snake, dog, swan, turtle, but probably not from memory. I had to rewind the video like six times. My friend was here and I was like, again. She was making them too, so it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Um, what else did I make today? A sword?

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Oh, that's nice. That's a handy one.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

What else? Yeah, so the show is billed as a murder mystery, but we don't really like it's not super interactive, except we like hand people alibis, and then the alibis are the sketch we do next. And then we determine who the murderer is by who dressed up the prettiest and do an applause and see whoever gets the biggest applause is the murderer. They win a prize. Nice. So I want to learn how to make a gun. No, don't first of all, just for me in general, but yeah, I think doing swords and guns for the show, like murder weapons, would be really fucking funny.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

That would be funny. Candlestick, also easy.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

That's what Lauren said.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

All of the clue.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

Yes, except that we said no noose. Except people ruined that one. So we won't be doing that. Yep, nope. Yeah, that's good. Um, but yeah, like lead pipe, like just hammering a blow just like bent a little at the end. I'm so excited. I'm so fucking excited for the show.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Have you tried yet um to make balloon animals with the condoms? No.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

You should well you could start with penis. That that, you know, worm.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

I made balloon.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I made a worm. Um and then what would be the next I don't I don't know. It'd be like tiny balloon animals, but I don't know what now I have to Google later, and I'll probably regret it, but I will Google. I will regret it. I know this, but I'll still willingly put myself through that.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Or science. I just gotta know. Yeah, I have to receive. What do you expect from me? Um I no, I haven't done it with any condoms. Um, I think it would be hard to keep it on the tip of the pump.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Um I love it when you wink. I'm just so good at it.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

It's so smooth and sexy.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

It is oh god.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

Um and I don't have very many left.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

That's valid. Oh, yeah, because it can't like keep them for the important stuff.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Oh, wait, I was still. Yeah, yeah, could I use it after?

SPEAKER_03 13:18

Not enough condom. Put that dog on your dick. Hey, hold on, put that on in. Put that in, and I want to show you a turtle. Now, this is a really advanced move, so don't get scared.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

I only bring this out on special occasions, so I really like you.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

Oh god. Oh fuck. Um so nobody's required to talk about their genitals on the show.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

However, before I start questions, I have a question. Has anyone ever gotten a condom stuck inside of them before?

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Yes. No. Sorry, I said that way too fast. I should have paused.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

I'm not gonna admit that on the podcast. No.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Flashbacks. I actually haven't.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

I the first time ever happened to me. So that was interesting. And then I took it out and I said, That's never happened to me before. And he said, Well, you took it out like it has.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

What's a pro way to do that? Like, bro.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

I was like, Well, what do you mean? I kind of imagine if you've ever used a tampon.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

I was just thinking that. I was like, what do you mean? Like it's a pro move.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Like you mean how you how listen to men.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

Fair. Fair. Thank you. Was funny though.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

God damn it. Now feel free not to answer, but what kind of condom? Because the one that got stuck in me was a ribbed one. And that was not funny.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

I don't think it is. I don't think it was. I don't know. Girl, you were not controly. So. Yes. Yeah. Sorry. Like a slip and squeeze. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_03 15:28

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

It's like a slip and slide.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

A slip and kegel.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

You never laughed at my tarp slip and slide joke. When did you say it? In the group chat.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

A while ago.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

What? I didn't laugh. I'm an asshole. You are. I'll go. I'll go. What did you when?

SPEAKER_02 15:54

I don't remember. Trying to think of what you think.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Oh, I just want to. Yeah, I remember. It was fun. I think I sometimes I laugh so hard that I'm like, that needs no reaction. Like, like that was so obviously funny. Nice save.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

You were laughing too hard, you couldn't pr press the button, you know, for React.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

I dropped my phone, it broke. I cried. Sometimes when I'm laughing right now, um, I can hear that my asthma's bad in them.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Do you have your inhaler next to you? It's not. Kirsty.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

I don't know. Hold on. Don't yell at me.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

God. Suddenly, mid-podcast, they become the kid from the signs. Or science. I just watched that recently, so it was just kind of funny. I haven't seen it in well over a decade, maybe two. Same. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna watch some oldies, quote unquote oldies. Uh the oldies, yeah. Being the millennial that I am, and I was like, oh, you know what? Signs, like, I make fun of M. Night Shyamalan, but like I actually do think that movie was pretty good now as an adult.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

If Signs was good, I genuinely like The Village. Like, I remember seeing that twist for the first time as a child and being like, I didn't know movies could be like this.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

I think I had the same I think I had the same kind of reaction, but like like the top tier, like still my favorite movie is Jurassic Park. So like the end like evil things are monsters, and then when I started seeing movies, we're like, oh no, we're the monsters. Like it was I remember that shift. And the village was definitely one of them. Absolutely.

unknown 17:56

Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Did you find it?

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Well, I found an old one. I had it in my thing earlier.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Inhaler Goblin took it.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Yeah. Shit.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

The inhaler brownies. They were having their own asthma attacks. They'll bring it back when they're done. I don't want to think about brownies. And now that I did my inhaler.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

There's probably there's rule 64, is it? That if it if it it if you thought it, it probably does exist. Oh, there's porn of it. Yeah. There probably is.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Oh, rule 34?

SPEAKER_01 18:34

34, not 64. Is it 34?

SPEAKER_03 18:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

I'm just calculating, so as you can tell.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

It's 64.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Yeah. You alright?

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Got in one take.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yes. We'll get it clean. Was that rule 34? There we go. You get it. You know how to podcast. You're a professional. More professional than us. That's for fucking sure. I've done like editing kind of stuff and like uh more video stuff than uh audio podcasting, but my thesis was a podcast, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Uh oh, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Cool. That's cool as hell. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Uh unfortunately, most places don't accept a podcast as an actual thesis outside of the outside of the IVs. They're like, that same sus.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

It's 2026. Literally.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Exactly. Look at that monster back there. Oh, I love that. Oh my god. It's very um intruder. It's very signs, like we were just talking about. It is.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Yeah. I was just talking about signs yesterday. Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

I just watched it recently and I made the joke that, like, oh, it's funny about the inhaler because I just saw signs. And we don't want an incident like the kid in signs.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Yeah. Um got some questions. We got some questions. I didn't put them in any order, so that's good. Um, this is fun. Relative. Um, Rachel, she then asks, so I had an unfortunate event the other day as an adult, and it got me thinking, when's the last time you've shit your pants? Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Oh no. Firstly, Rachel, we're I'm sorry. And yeah, Rachel, yeah, my condolences. And you know what? It has happened.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

I don't remember. But not I don't think I could pinpoint, but as I said, I'm allergic to gluten. Didn't happen today.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

But listen, I the last time I remember it happening was probably like 2019. Okay. I had just gotten my car, and immediately I was having trouble with it. So I was driving my mom's car to work. Um, and I was like, I can get to this exit and I'll be late for work. It's fine. I didn't make it to the exit. No. And I had to turn around and go home and be even more late for work. My mom never found out. Don't listen to this.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

Don't listen. There's no shit I did in your car.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

We'll make this algorithmically impossible. Actually, it's not her car anymore. It's her evil ex's car. So okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Well, I think I think for me was like I think I was still working as an EMT like in 2014, 2015 ish, and I think I had like a bad case of norovirus. And I but the thing is, I Don't know I I insisted that I did. I was like half in and out of it. Like I was like, you know, like when you have like sweaty mania, like it was one of those. And I was like, I was telling my then boyfriend at the time, I was like, You have to you have to get me there because I think I'm gonna shit my pants, and then I was on and I was like, I shat my pants, and like I was just sobbing, crying, and they insisted I didn't, but like yeah, I felt like I did. So yeah, you know what? Right, right, spiritually, we're there with you, Rachel.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

Like that's what Rachel, it happens, it happens, it happens, it happens, yeah. Now piss it. Yeah, I think I can pinpoint I think I can pinpoint exactly last time I pissed my pants, and it was when I was rolling on Molly with my best friend, and we were laughing so so so so so so so so hard, and I was sitting on the floor, and I said, I'm gonna pee as I was peeing.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

I'm just gonna admit this on the podcast. I laughed so hard at a live Mabimban show that I pissed my pants. Oh nice.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

My god, that's so fair though. Right? Oh my god, my friend that I've met at the at um candle nights is gonna be here in like two days. I know so excited.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

That's cool.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Um wild.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

We've got yeah, I'm gonna, that was a short answer, but we're we're not gonna get into shit too much on this one.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

We're not for schatological humor, this this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

Um we got a nice message from Danielle in parentheses Ella. And I go by she her. Hell yeah, you do. Um Moon's not here, but they'll hear this when they listen. They better listen. Um I just wanted to let you girls and they's know that you inspired me to make a podcast on my YouTube, and I feel comfortable, I feel comfort watching or listening to your podcast. The jokes are super funny and the talks are always true and good, love y'all. That's so sweet. Not sweet.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

If we can get as many microphones into women's or they's hands than men, you know, like as that should be. That should be like a foundation, a you said foundation of like once we start making money.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

That's what we're gonna start our own. You too can start your own podcast. Yeah. Um she also send us the link to your podcast. Oh, yes, actually, yeah. Send us the link to your podcast and don't be better than us. Um, she also asks. I like how this is worded. I I love you, Ella. I admire you. But you asked favorite memory that you can remember. Ella.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Look, you know what? Actually, my favorite forgotten memory.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

If I had that power, Ella. Oh my favorite memory that I can remember. That I can't remember. Thank you. Thank you. That would have been embarrassing if I said something.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

You know, this is a bad question for me because you ask me a question and I forget everything. That's yeah, literally every time. Do I have memories?

SPEAKER_03 25:46

I probably couldn't pinpoint a favorite, but I really enjoy. I'll do recently. Let's do in the past six months. Okay, cool. Okayorite memory watching heated rivalry for the first time. Honestly, and for the second, third, fourth, through nineteenth times, and then around 25, I was like, okay. No, no, 19th was before um the divorce. And then do you remember when I was in the Discord, like playing over and over, yeah, in bed, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

I remember that, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Like five days, yeah. Saved my life.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Now, I have a question to piggyback off of that. Um, apparently, there is a phenomenon going around, at least on Instagram, of people admitting that they ended up divorcing after seeing heated rivalry. Was that one of the onuses?

SPEAKER_03 26:53

No. No, I did not want a divorce. Okay. That's why I needed a heated rivalry to be like, love is real.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Yes. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

It's not. Uh just that show is fake.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Oh god. But yeah, I have seen a lot of people saying that they finally decided to break up with their partners because they weren't happy, and that's honestly change is hard, but uh sometimes it's necessary.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

It was so the divorce was hard, but I do genuinely think when I watched it, I was like, I don't get treated anything like that. And my little brain started being like, something's off. And so when it happened, I think one of the first things I said to him was like, Well, not surprised, kinda, you know, like I do remember you saying that to us, actually. Like he left. Do you remember? I was showing like Kayla and Mooney and people pictures from our wedding, and then the next day. Literally days before the next day. It was the next day.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Was it literally the next day?

SPEAKER_03 28:05

I said he just left forever.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

It's been such a long year.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

It's been I can't believe that was almost four months ago.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

That feels like ages ago.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

I he left in March. I saw Heated Rivalry in January for the first time. So I had two months to prep to be like, this guy doesn't like me. So that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Did you think of a memory? Me. Um anyway. In the okay, in the like last six months. Yes, watching Heated Rivalry for the first time. But I kind of do wish that I had been able to watch it for the first time with somebody who actually appreciated it as much as I did, and not somebody who just like snarked on it or something. Kind of made fun of it the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

I have a gun. You have a gun.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

You slowly pull out the balloon gun from the one of the desks.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

I was I was keep that thing on me.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

She is strapped both ways.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

I sipping my peppermint tea. Yeah.

unknown 29:29

Really scary.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

That uh the coyote that I saw the other day was pretty fucking cool.

unknown 29:36

Sweet.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

It was so sweet, and I was making kissy noises at it, and it was looking at me, and I was like, I want to pet that.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Oh what I did last time I saw coyote. I thought, mmm.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

Okay. But the coyotes you guys have in like not my area are like the little skinny ones. Yeah. Yeah. We have wolf coyotes where I'm from. And they're huge. So everyone, like every time I always hear that, and I'm like, I have to ask them, I'm like, so where do you where are you from? And then like, oh, because you have to be the Bay Area. Yeah, like they still they'll still eat a pet and whatnot, but like they're not like my first dig was at Cape Cod National Seashore. And so we were in the like the first Coast Guard house type thing. So this is ancient house, right? Rickety door. I'm on first floor. All like at night, I just turn around and there's those like glowing eyes at the window because they're that tall that they can reach the window. And and and I was just like, and it was like a like eight of them, and I would just like I'm rolling back over to Yeah. Don't look at me. No, and so in the morning we would see them like crowded around and we'd have to like honk the horn to like get them away so we can go do our stuff.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Coyote horn.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

No, a car horn. Uh yeah. I guess honestly. Honest Coyote horn. It would be funny if it was like a clown car horn. Like uh. You're correct. The arch nemesis to coyote clowns.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

That's why they were in the woods in 2016. Oh, they were in the Great War.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

The girls are fighting. It was the coyote clown war of 2016.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

Episode title. I'm sorry, I just had like a flash of like, you know, all the video footage we had on YouTube like being a documentary for like an end ritual documentary for.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

I can also picture it as the like end battle and breaking down.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

That's exactly that was historical reenactment, right?

SPEAKER_03 31:59

I we all know love. I I love making a fan at it, so I have some real work ahead of me.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

Yeah, dude. Oh yeah. Oh, and you know what? Like putting Edward as a clown makeup, that would that would be fun.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

That's my brain started being like, oh. Yeah, how can I do it? I'm sure there's like a filter of something, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yeah. Um my favorite, my favorite memory that I can remember. Also, okay, heated rivalry adjacent also, because I was on that high. And I was watching it from when it released, and even after it released, I was still watching it. In February, this is kind of doxing myself. We had the huge uh uh blizzard, everyone was like locked in, and that's the day I decided to become a minister. Uh I was like, I was looking at like out the window and like like the snow is up to here, and I was like, everything's going to shit. The only thing that's great in right now is he did rivalry, and it's such a ode to queerness and queer joy and queer visual storytelling that I was like, fuck it, I should just do what I want. And and then and then I immediately was like, that I guess that's what I'm gonna do. And so then I started looking up every thing um and talking with uh the U church nearby, and it was February 22nd.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Oh my 222s. Listen, this is not a heated revelry podcast, but I want to scream from the rooftops how much good it's done for so many people. Like the fan of the world.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

That's why this exists. I mean, it's why it's called on your knees. Yeah, because it's literally just Ilya saying get on your knees.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

We were like, that's lore. This is lore. Oh my god, I'm I'm great that I'm here for this lore drop. I love it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Yes, yeah. Um, your good memory is a good segue because Lake, our friend Lake, our friend, who is literally just here this weekend. Ah, they're so sweet. Um they asked, any tips for incorporating more witchcraft and paganism into the day today? This tired pagan needs any unhinged advice you got.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

Unhinged advice. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

Um I do so I had a friend over this morning and I was like opening the windows, and I lit an instant first instant, one one incense. And he was just like, I like all your little things you do. And I was like, Oh yeah, I do. Like I didn't really notice, but I was like, Yeah, these are like the little things I do to like make sure my day goes well, like little rituals. So yeah, I just like light an incense first thing in the morning. I make solar water now, narr. So it doesn't make me more articulate, but I make solar water narration and nailed it. Um I use it for like attraction and stuff, so I take a sip every time before we do the podcast. I don't take a sip every day, but I take a sip if I go out. I like attention. Sue me. Um, and it one day, oh my god, it works so well that one day I took a sip because I was about to do it, and I took it with like a medicine I had to take, and I was like, oh, I didn't like really think about it. So there wasn't really an intention behind this. So I was like, let me take a sip with intention. No, that just doubled the dose, baby. I went to this gay bar that I go to like weekly. Gay men all night were like, Why are you so sexy? Gay men all night, which that's happened before several times. For some reason, sis gay men are very into whatever this is here, but that night it was like not great. They were being like too for like one of my friends had to be like, walk the fuck away from her because it was like too much. So another tip is be careful. Yeah. Solar water is like my favorite thing. I feel like luckier, I feel happier, I feel more like sunshiny.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

I should do that.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

I sleep with a jar of salt next to the bed. Oh, nice. Absorb all that shit, and I um I replace it weekly so that it's not stagnant. Um that's great. I just refill it when I refill my meds every week to remind me to do it. That's um good. And if there was anyone that I really super hated, um, I would be using that salt in ritual for them.

SPEAKER_03 37:25

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

But I okay, I hate some people, but like I'm not a super hateful person.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

We know. I know your little sweetiest pie of all the pies.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Meanwhile, me, I'm like, oh, do what? Like in weapons. Just get a stick and rub blood on it. You want chaos? Just do that. See what happens. See what happens. See what happens. Uh no, that's really nice. And uh, I think for me, not exactly chaotic, but um uh like right now, obviously, with seminary, I'm reading a bunch of stuff and learning a bunch of stuff. And um there's a cool person named AJ Hawkins or Hawkins.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Um I know I I know AJ. I don't know AJ personally, but I followed from yeah, yeah, for comma.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

And they had a video recently where they talked about um they had a workshop with an indigenous man in their community and how he was kind of talking about how you know smudging and smoke cleansing with white people is kind of funny because they are doing it to clear out bad energy, so like to push things away, um is how I'm understanding it. And then um as opposed to how it should how it traditionally is, which is you know, you're filling and covering yourself with so much good energy that there's no way that like there couldn't be bad energy existing around. And so those are two different mindsets. And once that kind of it kind of like unlocked something for me where it was like um in terms of like like decolonizing our witchcraft and whatnot and whatnot, like thinking of things being pushing away is very much so like um like still isolating yourself.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Yeah, it's very white, so individualistic and white, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

Yes, and so and so you then are not able to in and also kind of controlling because you're like saying nothing can enter here. So, like, so a person with you know, maybe you know, a friend who's having better energy right now, are they suddenly bad now because they're having an off day or some shit like that? Like, oh no no, nothing can enter here. As opposed to I have so much good medicine on me that like nothing can really penetrate, so I can interact with the world and the rest of community without having to be displacement, yeah. Yeah, and so uh so that has unlocked something for me. So I've been doing more I've been calling it smoking rather than smoke cleansing because I think the cleansing kind of feels like again that pushing away thing, but that's just me personally. Ums just mean things I think different for autistic and neurodivergent people too. So like and for me, I am one of those people that like I can see the like what's going on rather than just like oh just the words. I forgot what that there was an article about that where like some people just see the text. Yeah, they don't see they don't they just see the text. I'm like, oh no, I see it visually being played out. So like clearing does feel like it's pushing things away. Yeah, but yeah, and so I've been doing a lot of that recently and kind of thinking about um, and truthfully, it really has helped me show up and prevent burnout because like it feels like someone's battered. Like, so like right now I'm doing a lot of work with the local career community. Um, we're hoping to start a um peer trans and non-binary support group um because there was a social hour, but people were really trauma dumping at that social hour. And so I thought, and I thought, well, how about one one of those Wednesdays? It can be a social hour, and the other one is the this peer support group. Nice.

SPEAKER_03 41:04

That's so good. That's what I like. Yeah, I'm very much like I want to support people that are going through hard times. Obviously, like you said, I don't think somebody's bad because they're struggling. Like when a friend is struggling, I'll literally be like, Do you want to hang out? You know, like come hang out with me, like come talk. I don't care. Like we'll just sit on our phones, I don't care. Um but yeah, like all I didn't even realize that I my practice has kind of fallen into like I open the window to bring in the sun and I light the incense because it gives good vibes. I'm not like trying to air anything out or cleanse anything away. Yeah, and like the solar water, it's very like a receiving sort of thing I use. And that too, like I said, it's like for attraction, but it's also made me more confident. And I like like today, I went on a walk for 30 minutes, and like a month ago, even maybe I would have been like, I'm nervous to walk by my myself. Like, but like these things I've just changed like the mindset from being like I have to do a protection spell from negative energy to I'm putting in like the good things, like you yeah, explained it so so well. And I did that accidentally, so I would love to read, listen to that person more because that seems very in line. Um well, y'all want to do some housekeeping? Hell yeah. We did it, we did a whole hour of yapping. We did it again. Um, Dan, you don't really have to help with this part. Let me see. Uh who else is? Oh, did you have huh? Oh, I was gonna say, I was gonna let Dan, if you want to hype anything up. We have like 11 listeners.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

I I don't honestly have anything to hype up because I still have to make that damn website you all want me to make.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Um yeah, Dan. Come on. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

I'm still trying to figure out like what's the page name for like hey furries, I'm cool with you.com that's the oh the whole website is hey furries, I'm cool with you.com.com. Yes, um not dot org.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

Oh okay, you got you got my ass.org.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

You're right.org. Um uh but if folks want to see, I don't post at all. I used to I honestly created that only because um it looked good for people who gave me grant money for research. Was Danda's research? Um that's That's my Instagram, so you can you know follow me there if you want or just hit me up with my DMs though I don't like creepy DMs from someone not Emily. No Emily. But that's about it. That's on my end.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

Cool. Um I'm gonna hype up I've got Clown Show coming up in Oklahoma City on August 1st at OK Cider at 7 p.m. Or something like that. You can also follow me on Instagram and figure that out once I figure that out. Um there's also a Moist Battle coming up. I'm not on this one, but I want to hype up my friends. That one's in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on August 8th. 7.30 p.m. You can follow Moist Battle on Instagram. Um and you can follow On Your Knees everywhere. You can find all of our links on our Link Tree. Everything's under On Your Knees pod. I want to say thank you to GWiz for our theme song. GWizOfthestars.com is where you can find more of their stuff. They're a music producer and DJ. That's G W I Z of the Stars.com.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

Awesome. Thank you, G Wiz. Um we're recording this on Sunday, so this one's gonna be a little late. Um I'm very tired.

unknown 45:29

Someday.

SPEAKER_03 45:31

Someday.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

This is also the Lindsay Graham of it all will date this episode.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Uh we'll let you know um if for some reason we're not gonna be back next Monday.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

But um find us Monday through Wednesday some weeks. Some weeks. One of these days we'll get it down.

SPEAKER_01 45:54

I'll do one last eyebrow wiggle for Mooney.

SPEAKER_03 45:57

Yeah. Oh yeah, please. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:59

Oh, there it is. There it is. There it fucking is.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Um please send us questions. Um there's a fill. Yeah, there is. There's a form you can fill out in our link tree. Um, send us questions. You can email us. Um I really still really fucking want you to tell me the weird shit that people tell you on dating apps. Um I haven't gotten any recently, so I can't contribute anything.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

You know what?

SPEAKER_00 46:32

Um I might just download Hindi swipe right on everyone. Just see what's fortunately it's good it it like limits you now to your daily swipes. I know it's stupid. Okay, that's slut shaming, first of all. It truly is, yeah. Um speaking of slut shaming today, so I started talking to somebody new um like a few days ago, but I was telling my coworker about it, thank you. I was telling my co-worker about it, and I was like, Yeah, we haven't really even like said anything like explicit yet, and like it's it's going really slow for me, and they were like, It's been three days.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

And I was like, Yeah, it's we're going so slow. Kayla, it's not a problem to have a smoochin' timeline, okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, also that you has not dated anybody since they were like 17 because they've been in the same relationship for half their life. So no judgment.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Yeah, that's and and you know what? Maybe maybe, maybe, meeting eyebrow wiggle, um you pop that off. Maybe they're they're hesitating. Uh they're not trigger happy like someone's uh someone's balloon animal gun. And you need the balloon animal gun. And you have to you have to be you have to be the one that holds them up.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

Yeah.

unknown 48:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:10

Just I'll let you know when it does. Thrust forward.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Thrust forward. Some have slut puppy. Slutiness, thrust upon them.

SPEAKER_01 48:27

Bob Bob the Drag Queen says purse first. We say thrust first on this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Hell yeah. That's right. Hell yeah. Dan said it, now it's real. Now it exists forever. Finally have a tagline. Dan's back in your pants and make your website.