On Your Knees
On Your Knees is a queer, comedy podcast hosted by Kayla, Kirstie, and Moon answering your unhinged questions!
On Your Knees
OYK 11: Tongue Kissing God
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Kayla, Kirstie, and Moony discuss what has them on their knees & answer unhinged questions.
This week, we talk Cancers, marrying Jesus, and posture during oral.
Send your questions to our email (onyourkneespod@gmail.com) or Google Form (on our Linktree: @onyourkneespod) for a chance to get an answer from these lil freaks.
Thanks for listening xoxo
What's up, Flora and Fauna? Welcome to On Your Knees, a queer comedy podcast where we answer answer your unhinged questions. I'm Kayla. I'm Mooney.
SPEAKER_04And I'm Christy McAnally.
SPEAKER_07We're back, bitch. Hello. Kind of choked on my own name. We're back. We've been gone, but have we?
SPEAKER_03We were here the whole time.
SPEAKER_07Maybe. Wait, that's somebody else's season.
SPEAKER_04That's somebody, yeah. Somebody should have some shrooms right now. Fucked up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They were here the whole time. Oh.
SPEAKER_04Oh no.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we were gone for a while. School has just said absolutely.
SPEAKER_04Shit happens. Yeah, I was so busy too. I didn't even like the one with our guest. We recorded that two weeks ago, right? But yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, I got it, yeah. I don't think I even got it out until Tuesday this two days ago. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07That's okay. Yeah, dude. I had a wedding and then I had a mini vacation back to back. And was like, and then all like trying to get all my schoolwork done so I could enjoy the things that I had going on. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04There's so much all the time. Everything happens so much.
SPEAKER_07And it just doesn't ever stop.
SPEAKER_02Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_07Mm-mm. It just doesn't. And it's not true.
SPEAKER_02And then it starts again, even though it never stops.
SPEAKER_04And yeah, and that's true. How does more start? How does more stuff start if it didn't stop?
SPEAKER_06I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. One of you on showings tell us.
SPEAKER_07One of y'all understands. If somebody is shrooman right now, let us know what it's like and um also everything that you've learned. Comment about the time knife now.
SPEAKER_04What's a time knife? Time knife? Have you seen The Good Place?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_02I only watched the first season, but I don't recall it in the first season.
SPEAKER_07It's so good. I don't remember. No, I not watch it.
SPEAKER_04Well, no. Really good reference from me.
SPEAKER_05Great job.
SPEAKER_07Related to the video.
SPEAKER_04I believe it.
SPEAKER_02Honestly, I do feel like maybe the only person, now the second person who doesn't didn't watch The Good Place. So you and I are in good company movie.
SPEAKER_06I just realized I have a cross on my shirt, and it's um I just want to be explicitly clear. It's not Christian related in any form. No.
SPEAKER_02I can tell you love Jesus, actually.
SPEAKER_04Why don't you marry him?
SPEAKER_07God.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_02Tongue kissing God is crazy.
SPEAKER_05Tongue kissing God is crazy. I love that. Tongue kissing God.
SPEAKER_07Take that God.
SPEAKER_02Wait, is it good or bad? I can't tell.
SPEAKER_04I think Moose was bad and mine was good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Okay. It's good for somebody. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay. God.
SPEAKER_02Good lord. Yep. Oh my gosh. What has had y'all on your knees this week? Or the last two weeks, even.
SPEAKER_06I knock off.
SPEAKER_04No? I got a gun. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. So now when I say I have a gun, it's not a lie.
SPEAKER_00You do.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I saw it in your story for breakfast, but you didn't eat it. Yeah. You were just eating. Oh, I missed that. I was eating my plums. Yeah. And then chasing them down. No! With bullets. Fuck!
SPEAKER_06Good lord.
SPEAKER_07I was taking shots.
SPEAKER_04Ayo. No. No. Also have a crush on somebody. I'm 35. First of all.
SPEAKER_02Bro, we are in the same boat right now. It's okay. You have a crush too? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I sing. Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_07That's right. He's a baby.
SPEAKER_04He's a cutie. Guys.
SPEAKER_02He doesn't look real to me. Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05They're both boys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dude. I know. But I like men. I like I like men in a gay way. And women in a gay way. Yeah. And everybody in a gay way.
SPEAKER_07Everybody, everybody that you that has a crutch on you is also queer.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, having to explain that to guys who think they're straight is fun.
SPEAKER_07You're like, sure, buddy. What? What?
SPEAKER_04Never mind.
SPEAKER_02No, say that again, please, because I heard he beats me.
SPEAKER_04No. No. I said. Anybody that beats me up.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00So it's not just gender.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna rough me up on the back.
SPEAKER_02That's your sexuality.
SPEAKER_07I don't know what the like technical term for that is, but God, today at work I had to explain. Well, it was me and then my other queer co-worker and her wife, the three of us explaining to two of our straight lady co-workers what top and bottom was. First of all, 2026. I don't give a fuck what your excuse is. You should know. Yeah, that's you should fucking know. Context clues. Not context clues. Context clues. But we were talking about how my married coworkers, they want to have a baby, and I was like, haha, turkey baster joke, blah blah blah. And then, but the top slash stud of the relationship wants to be the pregnant one. And then the straight coworker was like, wait, how's that work? And I was like, hang on.
SPEAKER_02Because she still has a uterus?
SPEAKER_07Because she can carry a child. And then I said the word switch, and they were like, What's a switch?
SPEAKER_04And I was like, Oh, you're getting too you're getting too into it for them. That was day two lessons. You got ahead of yourself.
SPEAKER_07Ride husband, that make you bottom on top switch. She was like, Oh, I get it. My god. She was like, thanks, I you needed to dumb it down for me. And I was like, Clearly.
SPEAKER_05Fuck.
SPEAKER_07Do you have to worry about it? You're not welcome in. You're not welcome into the club, actually.
SPEAKER_05Boo.
SPEAKER_07Street people are so boring. Yeah, what's got you on your knees? Street people. Um yeah. No. Sometimes. Sometimes. Um same. I've been feeling like really like I've been, no matter how I've been so busy, but I've been really full of gratitude lately because my life has been very full and social. And that, you know, like little glip little blips is where I can be social. It's been happening, which like I am such a friend. I'm a friend girl. You know, just a girl that needs somebody. Um so yeah, I've just been overwhelmed but grateful. Yeah. That's good.
SPEAKER_02Well, um, I've been thinking a lot. I'm on my knees because I, for as long as I can remember, have had a thing almost exclusively for cancer Leo cusps. Okay. But they're never the healed ones.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_07And you have found you have found one that is healed? I have found on because he because oh, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04So like last deacon cancer, first deacon Leo's across that board is kind of your own. Okay.
SPEAKER_02And I've always also um just gravitated toward cancers in general, like my best friends growing up almost have exclusively been cancers.
SPEAKER_04Um, right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Sun rising. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That's why I cry at everything. But actually, we were talking about that at work the other day, and I said that I cried at a movie that was surprising. And um my coworker looked at me and said, I'm no, obviously you cried. You cry at fucking everything.
unknownDamn. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Ouch. Don't have to tell me.
SPEAKER_02Really need to be read like that. I almost started crying.
SPEAKER_04That's so funny.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, um, it'd be cool if my brain could just decide to choose like a different sign, maybe.
SPEAKER_04Um or at least Aquarius. No.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_04Only an Aquarius woman. No. Genuinely. Don't ever date an Aquarius man. Uh or you know what? For real. Woman only. Don't even go for nothing. I know. I know.
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_07It's coming from Aquarius. My mother is a cancer, and I have a cancer moon as well. And so even though she's not my biological mother, we have been bonded. Soul, soul tied bonded since I was three days old.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Um and I have just, I don't know if it's my cancer moon or if it's my, I'm just all water. I just attract a lot of water. So my friend Lindsay's a Pisces. My other good friend that I've talked about is a double cancer.
SPEAKER_02They're like, so my best friend is a triple cancer.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. They they cry more than you.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_07They do. And then they not like gross, like, but they're crying, they're anger crying. They're like, ah, like that.
SPEAKER_02They're gonna watch this and they're gonna And am I wrong? Incredibly cold.
SPEAKER_07You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong.
SPEAKER_04You're gonna look at me, and whenever somebody doesn't do what you suggest, you you say you don't get angry. Okay. Oh, your gentle suggestion. Yeah. Sure. Okay. I'm getting out of the room. I'm leaving. I'm scared. So we can say we all have cancer inside.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well.
SPEAKER_02Don't manifest that. No, not me.
SPEAKER_04That was yucky, actually.
SPEAKER_02No. I might have a cancer inside.
SPEAKER_04I oh ey-o! I uh I'm friends with a lot of them. They're kind of across the board.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I was gonna say not very many Virgos, but that's not true anymore. It's very, very spread out.
SPEAKER_01What's uh what's the what's the old bruise boy?
SPEAKER_02Old Bruise Boy! Old Bruce Boy. I need you to change his name in your phone now.
SPEAKER_07Old Bruise Boy. Here Taurus. Okay, so he does like to eat.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07Oh, he's hungry. Good for you, bitch. I'm so happy for you, Mo.
SPEAKER_00Same.
SPEAKER_07Like, I'm a little bit sorry that they're men, but also get it. I'm so happy for you. Listen. Happy for you. Shit happens. It does. I wasn't I was we've all been married to them, so like who am I? I know, right? Say shit. Like, I'm not actually judging, I'm just teasing.
SPEAKER_00Scary.
SPEAKER_02I hate that's I was never married to a cis man. Oh. I was married to a trans man.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07But lucky.
SPEAKER_02And some days that was worse because it chose to be that way.
SPEAKER_04No, I this like it doesn't matter. Get away. Unless you're bruising me.
SPEAKER_02Be careful what you wish for. Then get close. That's dangerous.
unknownDanger.
SPEAKER_04Um, I've got a question.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04This is from Nigel. They them. Fucking on your period. Yes or no? Yes. Yes? It's whatever.
SPEAKER_02I just don't think it's sticky. That's it. But it's it's a big thing. I'll let fuck the pain away for sure.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. An orgasm in general, like you don't have to do penetration. You know, an orgasm in general will help your cramps and your migraines. It helps. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I just don't feel like sexy. My period fucks me up so bad. Yeah, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02My body dysmorphia. I will say, oh yes.
SPEAKER_07Totally. That's how I know my period's coming too, because I'll be like, wow, that's the ugliest hog person I've ever fucking seen. And then I'll be like, oh, it's my period.
SPEAKER_04The other day on my Instagram story, I was like, I look like an alien. I look fucked up. Then I was like, I did start my period yesterday.
SPEAKER_07That'll do it. That'll do it. I will say when I was younger, I was more like, I don't know, when I was more youthful, like in my 20s and having sex on my period, I was like, this is still hot or whatever. It's also the aftermath that's not good. It's just messy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07And it's a different, it's like a different kind of wet, so it does dry sticky. And it's so so the cleanup is terrible, but the benefits of it are good because you're getting the dopamine and the serotonin and all that. Like and helping with the cramps, but in shower was fun.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, fun. But also, I just don't like the wet's different, so it also feels different. It just doesn't feel as good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it doesn't. Like as a good thing. It's like a dry wet, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_04Yes, dude.
SPEAKER_07Yes, like when you eat grapes.
SPEAKER_04It's like the lubricant, it's not water-based. And that's fucked up.
SPEAKER_07Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_04You eat grapes. You know what I mean when you eat? I can't go past that. The grape dust is in my pussy.
unknownYou know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the grape dust.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah.
unknownGreat.
SPEAKER_04Bunch of pussy squeaking. I'm on my period.
SPEAKER_07I hate it. Actually.
SPEAKER_03Greek squeaks.
SPEAKER_06Oh no.
SPEAKER_03That's my drag name. God damn it. Right.
SPEAKER_07Your drag name is Camel Toe. Not anymore.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah, true. No. True. True. Now it's Moon's Knuckle. You didn't want it. I'm taking it.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god. Um, uh, nope. Never mind.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It also depends. Like, I don't really mind. I don't prefer it. And I'm also very pretty submissive. So, like, kind of whatever the other person wants. I'm like, oh, you do want to fuck me on my period? Okay. Oh, you don't? That's fine.
SPEAKER_07Would you let somebody get it? Would you let somebody go down on you when you're on your period? I have. I don't think I've ever experienced that. But that scene in Saltburn made me want it. Yeah. I was like, wait, that's hot.
SPEAKER_04That's so hot. Yeah. I have I don't think I have allowed that.
SPEAKER_07Oh, neither have I. I it's been a while. It's been a while. I don't know. So sorry.
SPEAKER_02I'm just not like a huge fan of period blood. And I don't necessarily want it in my mouth. Yeah. But yeah.
SPEAKER_07I feel like because I wouldn't want to I wouldn't want to do it. I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to unless the person, which has happened and I've said no, is like really begging and enthusiastic. I s I still think it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_02That's yeah, that was what I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um like if it's like the only thing they want in that moment.
SPEAKER_07That's what okay, yeah. They ask. It's more for them, not yeah, more for them, not for me. But then also I'm a little embarrassed because uh I guess you like to eat pennies or whatever.
SPEAKER_04I guess I mean if they're into it, if they're if they ask and they're into it, then I I don't get embarrassed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. That's fine, but because it's embarrassment's about being perceived, so that makes sense.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I guess that's yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, but also I'm very don't look at me.
SPEAKER_04Don't fucking so the answer is very nuanced. That's I would say if I'm just saying yes or no, I'm gonna say no. Like I'd rather just get through the period.
SPEAKER_02It has to be than have sex. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07If it's like a day before or like a day after and not the full like five metal, then fine. Yeah, fine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's fine.
SPEAKER_07But yeah.
SPEAKER_02But if you're asking on my heaviest day, no. Get away from it.
SPEAKER_07Actually, if you're in my five foot vicinity, I need you to fall off.
SPEAKER_02Actually, yeah. Bring me you're breathing. Bring me a snack, and then you can go away. I never want to see you again, actually. Actually through the door.
SPEAKER_07Six feet, like like like little rabbit pellets, like you're just like feeding a goat through the door. I just like open.
SPEAKER_02And then five minutes later, all I'm gonna want is for you to hold me.
SPEAKER_07But from afar and not hold me over there.
SPEAKER_02I don't feel it. Okay, I can see you're looking at me.
SPEAKER_04Can you air squeeze me harder? Huh? I like that question. Yeah. That's from one of my IRL friends. Um I've got another sex one.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Go for it. Horny weak part two.
SPEAKER_04Horny weak part two. I think there's only two horny ones.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Um sorry. John he him asks, when you're on your knees, do you consider your posture?
SPEAKER_07I probably should, but I probably should. Thanks. Thanks for putting that in my head, John.
SPEAKER_02Only if I'm having a particularly hard time and then I'm like, oh, your head's forward.
SPEAKER_07Like, not that I I mean, if I feel like I'm being a weird ghoul about it, fucking like straighten my back up.
SPEAKER_04I'm not thinking of anything except I'm gonna look up into your eyes and make it a problem for both of us. Yeah. My posture is however I can look up at you and make you squirm a little.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. I don't really think I don't consider my posture, but uh, but like, you know, if it's like a weird uh position.
SPEAKER_02My back is already flaring up, probably, but yeah.
SPEAKER_07Straight if I if I'm like on my back, maybe like head over the edge of the bed in that upside down situation, then no, you don't have to think about it. Right. Then you're just it's perfect.
SPEAKER_02Because yeah, then my spine is I should really do that more often because I feel like that's the Prime position. It's more of a dick. I don't have to worry about my back. Exactly.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. The person with the penis is doing more of a dick.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Also, when you're upside down, dick goes down your throat. So much easier.
SPEAKER_02So much easier. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's so much easier. And it's a gift. But I really have a really small mouth. I have a little mouth.
SPEAKER_02Horribly small mouth. Like to the point where I have heard multiple times, oh my god, you weren't lying.
SPEAKER_04Shit. Me and Mooney got big old mouths. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02I'm jealous. Transfer some of your mouth big to me, please.
SPEAKER_07We just have to kiss mouth bigs. That's how you do the transferring.
SPEAKER_02That's right. Who do you think gave you the mouth big transplant?
SPEAKER_07This is this is the posture I do when I'm doing it. I do when I'm doing it. This is this is what you're supposed to do with your hands, right? Yeah. You just twist and crank. You crank them.
unknownCrank them.
SPEAKER_04Opposite way.
SPEAKER_07Turn one down, turn one up. And also, I heard they like it dry.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07So make sure you dry your tongue really good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Crank them. Just crank them. Fill your mouth with cotton balls for five minutes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Drink a lot of alcohol. Don't eat for like 12 hours.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. No water.
SPEAKER_04No water. And then make sure you're dry it. Yes. Dry it. Make sure you've been in the garden right before.
SPEAKER_07And just maybe put your hands in the freezer for just five minutes. Oh they're on. And dry. And then crank, and don't forget to crank it.
SPEAKER_02Don't forget to crank it. You can't forget to crank it.
SPEAKER_07Not this. This. This. You grab them, you crank them. And you crank, and you said opposite, right? So you wax on, wax off. Crank them.
SPEAKER_04And that's how you that's how you crank that soldier boy. Sorry.
SPEAKER_07Those are the balls. And you're Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07So I know the question wasn't how to give a ball job. How to give one properly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Well, in case anybody was wondering. Well, and this is educational. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02This has been a PBS production.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. They send it to you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04It's education. This is education. It's public education.
SPEAKER_07I like I like telling people how to do things that we do that more often.
SPEAKER_04How do you eat pussy? Yeah. Tell us.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_07Oh. No. Um, so first. No.
SPEAKER_01So first you start gently. You look at it and you tell it's put it, otherwise it'll get scaled and it'll clamshut, and you don't want to do that. That's what mine does.
SPEAKER_02That sound was incredible.
SPEAKER_00She's like, okay.
SPEAKER_03How do you do it? How do you do it?
SPEAKER_04First, I asked chat GPT.
SPEAKER_02And then it tells you how to tie a noose.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And then I do this for real. It's like, have you considered that you're God and can't fuck up eating pussy?
SPEAKER_02Actually, you're God. You invented eating pussy.
SPEAKER_04How do I do it? I get I put honey all over my hands, right? Uh-huh. And just always good. Straight into the bush. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Two honey hands. Moisturizing for sure.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Bushed up, bushed up honey hands. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Hold on, I'm still holding the book. Okay. You don't crank it.
unknownNo crank.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So what you don't want to do is crank it. What you don't want to do to a pussy is crank it. No. Don't crank the pussy. You can give the clit a little quink. Yes.
SPEAKER_07It's more like a yes. Little knock.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like if you're like turning up the volume on like your keyboard. But don't crank it. No. You don't take it to eleven.
SPEAKER_02No. Maybe seven.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh. Work up to a seven. You agreed with me.
SPEAKER_07I'm a one dog. No, I'm a brick dog. What about moon being worried about seven? That's high. I need a double two, a two. Two? Yeah. Okay. She gentle.
SPEAKER_02That's I mean. It really depends on what my hormones are doing. Sometimes one.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I guess it depends on the strength of the person. Because like if I'm using my vibrator, that bitch is on 11.
SPEAKER_07Well, if you wanna yeah. Yeah, if you want to get there. But hands, somebody's handsome.
SPEAKER_06That's why the that's why the tongue is perfect.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_06Sometimes that's not enough for me.
SPEAKER_04Especially if it's more pressed. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, no, not just tongue. It can never be just tongue. Just tongue, and I it can be for a minute. Over seconds. In the beginning.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I double beging.
SPEAKER_04In the beginning. I love that boy. Our boyfriend God created time.
SPEAKER_07Time knife. Then pussy eating. Do not use time knife when pussy eating.
SPEAKER_02No. Any knife, but especially not time knife.
SPEAKER_07No. I have to say no.
SPEAKER_02Put my foot down.
SPEAKER_07You're not my dad. You're not my dad.
SPEAKER_02I could be.
SPEAKER_04Um. No, then you wouldn't talk to me.
SPEAKER_02Yo. Just kidding. I love my dad.
SPEAKER_04Sorry, dad.
SPEAKER_02Well, my dad doesn't talk to me.
SPEAKER_04I don't. Don't listen to the attack with that fucking. If you've gotten this far. Ew, stop. Turn it off.
SPEAKER_07Get out of here.
SPEAKER_02I doubt my dad has listened to any of these, but if he's listening to this one. I know why he doesn't talk to me.
SPEAKER_07She'll, I don't know if you guys have seen like the comments where she's like, there's my girl, like on like random videos. My mom's done it too. But I want to be like, mom, please don't. She'll be like, send me the newest episode. And I'm like, no, absolutely not. No, you sweet angel. I won't be.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_04That's crazy. But no, I do not consider my posture at all.
SPEAKER_02I'm not considering my posture right now. I'm not busy.
SPEAKER_07I'm not turning to the side. You'd be appalled.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07The way I'm sitting.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07I think I'm sitting up really straight. C shaped. See, I got I got scary, actually. Stop. I'm five foot two through five foot three on a good day. But because so when I sit, I should be, I should look shorter. But because I have so much ass, I mean, I have a lot of y'all have seen it. Yeah, I got a lot of a shit. So I sit up a lot higher. Like Emily's like five inches. It's hilarious. Emily is five inches taller than me, and in the car, I tower over them because I'm sitting on a goddamn yearbook. For a dictionary, an encyclopedia, if you will.
SPEAKER_03So if when I sit up, Britannica. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07When I sit up straight, I look like I'm 5'10. It's all booty, dude. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And that's not a brag. I'm actually insecure about her most. I promise it's not a brag. I just feel like I don't, just because it's like it's a Leo's season.
SPEAKER_04You're right.
SPEAKER_07It's Leo's season. I don't think I have any Leo placements. I like Apple.
SPEAKER_05Really?
SPEAKER_04You've got one of your houses is in Leo. Is it? It has to be. It has to be. Does it? I don't know. What's your rising sign? Uh Pisces. Pisces. So Leo would be like six. Sixth house. Right. How do you have that map? I read about astrology.
SPEAKER_07I could pull I could pull up my co-star, but I don't want to. Don't use co-star.
SPEAKER_04Why would you use time passages? They don't use real um astrologers. Even before they started using AI, they just use like random people. They use AI? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I like time passages. I don't think they use AI. But it's much more in-depth. It's so good.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna download it right now.
SPEAKER_04It's my favorite one.
SPEAKER_02Because when I was thinking about the cancer thing earlier, I don't know that much about astrology for somebody who like genuinely believes in it.
SPEAKER_04I just finished one astrology book and I started another one today. It's a picky one, and the words are so tiny. Yeah, it's hermetic astrology though, so it's more like uh spiritual religious based. Yeah. Neat so far. What was it? What was the app called again? Time passages. Everybody download it. Everybody tell me your Sun, Moon, Rising, and Venus. Oh, probably I forgot the Wi-Fi turned off.
SPEAKER_07Oh, um, you guys want to do uh podcasts?
SPEAKER_02Yes, let's do a podcast.
SPEAKER_07Podcast, podcast, podcasts, podcasts, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I wish I had a lighter uh okay.
SPEAKER_07Um so I sent the pictures to the Discord on your knees Discord. Oh no, like I know. I would like to hear what you think of this cat. Perhaps a name, perhaps a gender, perhaps a brain cell.
SPEAKER_04He only have sharp tooth on one side. I didn't know this. That is so cute.
SPEAKER_02I want to say something that is hilarious, but I don't want in the podcast.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna just give you like a garbled name, just words. Um, but the word that almost came out was gurbels.
SPEAKER_05Why why don't you wanna why can't that be in here? Why can't that be in there?
SPEAKER_04Why can't we gerble on the podcast? Why is gerbeling not allowed? I said no boofing. You're putting you're putting a no on gurbiling?
SPEAKER_05Girbels.
SPEAKER_04No gobles, no boofing. This is the most boring podcast.
SPEAKER_07Also, also, the last episode we did together, we spent five minutes saying the word bonky over and over again. Okay, no, you guys.
SPEAKER_02Goebbels was a Nazi doctor, though.
SPEAKER_07Okay, okay, okay, hang on. I didn't want to assume that because it has a Hitler mustache, but I was like, it's a funny word, but I don't want to say that it's a Nazi. When I knew in my heart Goebbels was a Nazi. I didn't know this. We don't read enough books.
SPEAKER_02I don't think it was because of the Hitler mustache on the cat, but okay.
SPEAKER_04No, the fact that it's pointed out now, though, now that it is now what it is.
SPEAKER_07Sorry, Amber. This person, Amber, you sweet angel. I do believe the owner of this cat is named Amber. Amber, I'm sorry. Fuck. There's no way she doesn't think this when she looks at her son. I'd be like, once a day, I'd be like wink once if you're gurbbles.
unknownWelcome to boom.
SPEAKER_02Oh. And your cat just lovingly slow blinks at you.
SPEAKER_04Oh. Fuck. Welcome to podcasts where we ruin your cats for you.
SPEAKER_02So, so sorry.
SPEAKER_07Okay, let's pretend he's not a Nazi. Well, he's not. Sweet Nazi. He's not a Nazi. He's not a Natalie. He's not a Nazi. You're right.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_07And he's just a cat. No Nazi cat. He's so fucking cute. He's actually so fucking cute. He's so cute. And you know what? It's actually kind of giving Wilfred Brimley.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I like his little. So he's all gray with a white chest, white, normal Charlie Chaplin mustache. Yes, and little white Sockies. Yeah, him a tuxedo. He's sweetie. Great tuxedo.
SPEAKER_07He looks like a tuxedo. He's that first picture with him green eyes. Oh, yeah. I know.
SPEAKER_02I was just lost in his eyes right now.
SPEAKER_04He also is shape. Think of shape. First picture. Fashion.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04He is shape.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um gives Bobcat in some way that I can't figure out.
SPEAKER_04Huh. Oh, probably because they have that like big like thing in his face. He doesn't have a tail.
SPEAKER_07Oh, that's probably it. Oh my god. That too. Wait, do you think it's just not in the picture? No, dude. He doesn't have a tail. He doesn't have a tail.
SPEAKER_02He is a bobcat. Cutie. I think maybe his name is Bob then. Yeah. Honestly. Bob. Kinda like the minion, but also.
SPEAKER_04Well, he's in a tuxedo. His name is Robert.
SPEAKER_07You're right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. He's right.
SPEAKER_04His name is Robert.
SPEAKER_07Robert. You think he has a brain cell?
SPEAKER_04I do. I think he could be a doctor.
SPEAKER_05Dr. Robert.
unknownSorry.
SPEAKER_05Paging Dr. Robert.
SPEAKER_02Oh. I tried to think of a Robert in the first one I thought of was RFK.
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_07My god. I think there's something wrong with me. Are you okay? Wasn't garbles a fucking doctor? Garbles, garbles.
SPEAKER_04Grundle?
SPEAKER_05I don't want this.
SPEAKER_04This is Robert Grundel. MD. Now, the picture of him biting, and he only got half his teeth. I'm gonna take a half brain cells for that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02I agree.
SPEAKER_04Five. Five out of ten.
SPEAKER_02His whole ass is off of that chair, too. I don't know how he's meat.
SPEAKER_07Big meatball.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07And that's and that's spelled M-E-E-B-O-L-E. Meeble.
SPEAKER_02Meeble. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_02Meeble. Robert Garble garbles. Grundle.
SPEAKER_07Something. This is Robert.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Well. Bobby to his friends.
SPEAKER_07Bobby to his friend. Bobby is so cute for a cat. Wait. Especially with his little socks. So I think the name is gonna make a lot of sense because I will say the name is kind of giving cop, but like in like a funny, like 80s sitcom way, because his name is Chip Douglas. This cat's name is Chip Douglas. Yeah, yeah. That is better than Chipotle. Chip is a frat boy name. Chip Douglas? I don't know. It's giving cop to me. Like I can do that. Frat boy who became a cop. Chip Douglas.
SPEAKER_04Chip Douglas.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, it's Chip Douglas. So so Amber says, What's his name and how many brain cells does he have? Actual name, Chip Douglas. Thanks for keeping me laughing, Amber. And then the I will because it's funny, but also fuck AI. The the suggested reply. Chip Douglas has exactly one brain cell, and it's currently dedicated to plotting how to knock things off the counter. Thanks for listening. Listening is what it wanted me to reply.
SPEAKER_04Well, we can spirit me. We give him two extra. I say three out of ten. Okay.
SPEAKER_02I see three out of ten, too. Chip Douglas.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_07What did we say?
SPEAKER_04Robert Grundle. Grundle. Meeble M D. Robert Meeble Grund Grundle M D. He had to resign in disgrace, actually. They've realized he's not smart enough to be a doctor. Oh yeah, no.
SPEAKER_07He's a he's a a doctor of friendship. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I see no biting and he's looking at you not happy.
SPEAKER_02Those are actually actually his hard eyes, and you're not paying close enough attention to him.
SPEAKER_04That's how I yeah, that's oh, that's my bad. And I should have known better because that's how I look at people whenever I like them.
SPEAKER_07Thanks for sending him in, Amber. We love him, and I'm sorry we have all been a Nazi. We don't think truly, I'm so sorry. He's not a catsy. He's not a catsy. All cats are beautiful. All cats are beautiful. Yes. Yeah. Um, please keep sending us pictures of your cats.
SPEAKER_04We won't call any more of them Nazis. We promise.
SPEAKER_02I'll do my best.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Sorry. My chair is so squeaky. It's like begging me to stand up and not sit on it anymore.
SPEAKER_04It's so squeaky. It's going. I haven't noticed. I don't notice when we're doing it, but when I'm editing it, which I take it out, but whenever I'm editing, I'm like, how did I not hear that?
SPEAKER_07I'm wiggly. I'm wiggly guy chair.
SPEAKER_04We know that though.
SPEAKER_07We know that.
SPEAKER_04That's why I fix stuff. I can never have. That's why I fix it. Thank you. Another question? Yes, please.
SPEAKER_05You have a fucking hell hound and out my sane.
SPEAKER_04Don't is that flat cold retriever? He's a black lab. Go like this so he comes up. Oh, he's a black lab. Kana. Kana, come here. Kana. Come here, Kana. Oh Kana.
SPEAKER_02He's over here, buddy. Oh my arm. I love you, buddy.
SPEAKER_03Why are animals always trying to eat you? Yeah, I know. Go to your room. Thank you. Go to your room. Go to your room, I said. Thank you. Dang. Connor Bear.
SPEAKER_07He actually didn't do anything wrong. I'm his lawyer. I'll make sure.
SPEAKER_04I'm the bad guy.
SPEAKER_02And I hired him to do bad stuff. You guys, I'm supposed to be dog sitting. What are you doing?
SPEAKER_07I know, right?
SPEAKER_04God he's so menaces. You're welcome. Hey, this is great actually. Because Lake, Bay Vim, asks, what would your persona be? Maybe you already have one, maybe not. Describe what your animal slash creature would be and why. I've had this conversation with them, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like our whole house got together and was like. Um, and we decided that I'd be a capybara because friends shade. I feel like we knew that. Um, people are generally pretty chill with me.
SPEAKER_04I love that.
SPEAKER_02And the Catholic want to eat, call me a fish and eat me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. What terror in your face. Do you not know this story? No. Um, I don't remember what country it was in, but um if if I'm remembering the story correctly, um, there weren't enough fish to eat during Lent. So they legally started calling capabars fish so that they can eat them during Lent.
SPEAKER_04I hate that. Okay. I love religion because you just make up whatever the fuck you want, apparently.
SPEAKER_02Right. And God will be okay with it.
SPEAKER_04For sure.
SPEAKER_02You called it a fish? Yeah, you're good.
SPEAKER_04That's a fish. I made it. I know. I know that's a fish. God.
SPEAKER_07You've never seen a fish with fur before walk on all fours out of water?
SPEAKER_02Idiot idiot. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00God.
SPEAKER_02I know it has tits in milk, but like.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, what's it too you fish tits?
SPEAKER_05Fuck.
SPEAKER_07I just love I just like can't imagine the out-of-context bullshit that Emily hears.
SPEAKER_03Oh, honestly, I know.
SPEAKER_04They love it. Oh, of course they do.
SPEAKER_07I always leave the room and they're like, I don't know what that was about that. It's kind of funny, though. That's so funny. That's the point. Um, I don't know. What about you?
SPEAKER_04Um, oh, mine would be a fox. I decided long ago.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I would be one of those overly sexual, curvy as hell, hot, fox, foxy. That makes sense. Fox.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. I don't know. I have no clue. What do you guys think? For me. You. Hmm.
SPEAKER_04I'm sorry that the first thing I thought of was horse. Horse? It's just the energy. Powerful. Powerful? My energy is horse like. It's powerful. I'd love to see you with that.
SPEAKER_02With the bit?
SPEAKER_04Sexy. Okay, that's kind of bad.
SPEAKER_07Like uh.
SPEAKER_02Don't tell my mom I said that. Like a doberman.
SPEAKER_07Oh, with a bit.
SPEAKER_02I can see.
SPEAKER_07I just need to see something. Do you just want to walk me like a dog with something in my mouth? Is that what I'm doing? We can arrange this. Then yes. No, I would never. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Fold it under no pressure.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, like a do like some kind of like. Yeah, I can see that. No, my persona is a Taco Bell Chihuahua.
SPEAKER_04That's copyrighted.
SPEAKER_02Very specific.
SPEAKER_04He's a dead Chihuahua. He's been dead for so long.
SPEAKER_07Would you be a zombie persona? I've been pet cemeteried. Oh that's it.
unknownThat's all.
SPEAKER_02I wonder if that was your actu if your actual fursona was like a furry but dead. Would you really upset people at conventions?
SPEAKER_07Probably. I would need to wear a t-shirt with a trigger warning on it or something.
SPEAKER_02That's happened.
SPEAKER_07You know? I don't think there's like a sloppy fursona.
SPEAKER_02I don't know enough furries, but if any furries in our um audience would like to let us know. Right. That's probably like actually genuinely really curious thing, right?
SPEAKER_04Like they probably have to have their own subsection of furries. Well, I don't mean it to be complicated.
SPEAKER_07I just mean it to be funny.
SPEAKER_02Well, I know, but now I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_07Look what you've done. Look what you've done. I I I don't know. This is an educational show. Or you're right. This is the miseducation of on your knees. Yep. You're welcome, public. General public. Yeah, I think something like a like a like a chihuahua or a Doberman, like something that's really tough but also super soft. Oh yeah. Yeah, like that. Cool spot, like a Doberman, cool spiked collar. You know, and like you're just I would pierce the ear. I would pierce the ear on the bottom. Oh yeah. Like several times.
SPEAKER_04I was absolutely imagining it.
SPEAKER_07A crop top crop top and then a donk. A donk in the back. A donk Roman. Actually, I can picture it and it's cute as hell.
SPEAKER_04Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02Maybe we're actually all furries. Maybe maybe we just think about that a little bit.
SPEAKER_04I just don't have the money for it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_04Somebody commented on one of her videos and was like, not all furries have money.
SPEAKER_05I was like, get a better job.
SPEAKER_04Why don't you just switch jobs? Why don't you just be a capitalist? Just go get a fucking job.
SPEAKER_05Hello.
SPEAKER_04All you have to do is become a CEO and exploit people, and then you'll be a better furry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Obviously. I feel bad now. We don't actually think that. Don't do that.
SPEAKER_04I feel like in fact, some of you furries pull it back. Why do you need all that? Yeah, right. Reel it in.
SPEAKER_02Use your imagination, please.
SPEAKER_04Oh, a deer would also be cute. A deer would be cute. I would love deer. Um, I also love the idea of a praying mantis, would be fucking odd. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_07And then you can have like Are they so the airies then? Or is there something?
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_07I think I saw some a drag queen do that.
SPEAKER_04Like one of those like pink pretty ones.
SPEAKER_02Oh a flower or uh is it a flower orchid mantis? Flower orchid mantis beautiful.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, that would be cool.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. What time is it? 8 10? Well, we did another one. We did it. Oh we did it. We chatted and we goofed and we bitted.
SPEAKER_02This is a funny one. It was.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_07We're especially for being off for three weeks, technically, the three of us off. For three weeks.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Honestly, friends. And I think I've said this before. I think waiting a little bit between health.
SPEAKER_04We I'll say it after the show. Well, yes. So housekeeping. Housekeeping. Housekeeping. Donk donk donk. Housekeeping. Um donk donk donk.
SPEAKER_02Donk, donk, donk. Donk before you come in.
unknownDonk.
SPEAKER_07I enter backwards. This has been on your news podcast. Thanks for listening.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_07Sorry. Sorry. I've been I was MIA. I'm back. Um, you can find us on our socials. We've got an Instagram and a TikTok and all of that. Um you can find our personal Instagrams on our Linktree as well as our YouTube and and all that good stuff. So check us out anywhere you get your podcast app. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's all under On Your Kneespod. That's our app everywhere.
SPEAKER_07Oh, and please send us email us onyourneespod at gmail.com with pictures of your cats, unhinged questions, um, comments, whatever. We've got from you guys. DMs tender, dms, yeah. Whatever. Make it weird. If you guys have any like silly suggestions, like you want to see us do weird impressions or like whatever, just uh if you see a trend that you think we should do, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Just tag us in it. Honestly. Yeah, absolutely. We'll get to it. Maybe. Yeah. Um, I'd like to thank GWiz for our uh theme song. They're a music producer and DJ. And you can hear more of their stuff on their website, GWizoftestars.com. G W I Z of the Stars.com. Thanks, GWiz.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Thank you.
SPEAKER_02Um, thanks for listening. Um, we'll be back next Monday. For sure. Yeah, we'll be back with that. Yep, manifesting. Um yeah, we'll be here. Um you can find us where we're streaming on our bus route, which is in our link tree. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00Do it.
SPEAKER_04Since I'm on my period, I won't be having sex constantly, so I'll have time to do the have more time, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03Don't be sorry for getting it. Slut.
SPEAKER_04But slut. Slut.
SPEAKER_00Slut.
SPEAKER_07My finger, my finger was being weird for a second.
SPEAKER_02I can see that. That's what that means.
SPEAKER_07No.
unknownSlut.
SPEAKER_02I don't even know.
SPEAKER_07I got I told you guys I got all my fingers in there. It's it's just it's just flip-up.
SPEAKER_03I can't. I can't, I can't. You can't like doing it like that. Not like that. Slip.
SPEAKER_02When I gotta hold my fingers down.
SPEAKER_04You gotta hold them down.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Slut.
SPEAKER_02Unless, unless I like that's why does it differ? Flip it around.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, baby.
SPEAKER_02The salute of it all.
SPEAKER_07Slut.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I have to hold my finger down.
SPEAKER_04That's okay. I forgive you. Thanks. I missed y'all. I know I missed you. Show you all my bruises. Of course.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for showing me all your bruises.
SPEAKER_07A fuck ton of bruises, but I don't even know where they came from, so I have one white heel, but I think that that's from somebody's pibble. Pibbles we will wrestle.
SPEAKER_02We were wrestling.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07I was wrestling. You were. That has a different kind. That's like a mommy daddy type of wrestling.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.