On Your Knees

OYK 11: Tongue Kissing God

On Your Knees Season 1 Episode 11

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0:00 | 55:16

Kayla, Kirstie, and Moony discuss what has them on their knees & answer unhinged questions. 

This week, we talk Cancers, marrying Jesus, and posture during oral.

Send your questions to our email (onyourkneespod@gmail.com) or Google Form (on our Linktree: @onyourkneespod) for a chance to get an answer from these lil freaks.

Thanks for listening xoxo

SPEAKER_02

What's up, Flora and Fauna? Welcome to On Your Knees, a queer comedy podcast where we answer answer your unhinged questions. I'm Kayla. I'm Mooney.

SPEAKER_04

And I'm Christy McAnally.

SPEAKER_07

We're back, bitch. Hello. Kind of choked on my own name. We're back. We've been gone, but have we?

SPEAKER_03

We were here the whole time.

SPEAKER_07

Maybe. Wait, that's somebody else's season.

SPEAKER_04

That's somebody, yeah. Somebody should have some shrooms right now. Fucked up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

They were here the whole time. Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, we were gone for a while. School has just said absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

Shit happens. Yeah, I was so busy too. I didn't even like the one with our guest. We recorded that two weeks ago, right? But yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, I got it, yeah. I don't think I even got it out until Tuesday this two days ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

That's okay. Yeah, dude. I had a wedding and then I had a mini vacation back to back. And was like, and then all like trying to get all my schoolwork done so I could enjoy the things that I had going on. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

There's so much all the time. Everything happens so much.

SPEAKER_07

And it just doesn't ever stop.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_07

Mm-mm. It just doesn't. And it's not true.

SPEAKER_02

And then it starts again, even though it never stops.

SPEAKER_04

And yeah, and that's true. How does more start? How does more stuff start if it didn't stop?

SPEAKER_06

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. One of you on showings tell us.

SPEAKER_07

One of y'all understands. If somebody is shrooman right now, let us know what it's like and um also everything that you've learned. Comment about the time knife now.

SPEAKER_04

What's a time knife? Time knife? Have you seen The Good Place?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_03

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

I only watched the first season, but I don't recall it in the first season.

SPEAKER_07

It's so good. I don't remember. No, I not watch it.

SPEAKER_04

Well, no. Really good reference from me.

SPEAKER_05

Great job.

SPEAKER_07

Related to the video.

SPEAKER_04

I believe it.

SPEAKER_02

Honestly, I do feel like maybe the only person, now the second person who doesn't didn't watch The Good Place. So you and I are in good company movie.

SPEAKER_06

I just realized I have a cross on my shirt, and it's um I just want to be explicitly clear. It's not Christian related in any form. No.

SPEAKER_02

I can tell you love Jesus, actually.

SPEAKER_04

Why don't you marry him?

SPEAKER_07

God.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_02

Tongue kissing God is crazy.

SPEAKER_05

Tongue kissing God is crazy. I love that. Tongue kissing God.

SPEAKER_07

Take that God.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, is it good or bad? I can't tell.

SPEAKER_04

I think Moose was bad and mine was good.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Okay. It's good for somebody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. God.

SPEAKER_02

Good lord. Yep. Oh my gosh. What has had y'all on your knees this week? Or the last two weeks, even.

SPEAKER_06

I knock off.

SPEAKER_04

No? I got a gun. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. So now when I say I have a gun, it's not a lie.

SPEAKER_00

You do.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I saw it in your story for breakfast, but you didn't eat it. Yeah. You were just eating. Oh, I missed that. I was eating my plums. Yeah. And then chasing them down. No! With bullets. Fuck!

SPEAKER_06

Good lord.

SPEAKER_07

I was taking shots.

SPEAKER_04

Ayo. No. No. Also have a crush on somebody. I'm 35. First of all.

SPEAKER_02

Bro, we are in the same boat right now. It's okay. You have a crush too? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I sing. Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_07

That's right. He's a baby.

SPEAKER_04

He's a cutie. Guys.

SPEAKER_02

He doesn't look real to me. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

They're both boys.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, dude. I know. But I like men. I like I like men in a gay way. And women in a gay way. Yeah. And everybody in a gay way.

SPEAKER_07

Everybody, everybody that you that has a crutch on you is also queer.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, having to explain that to guys who think they're straight is fun.

SPEAKER_07

You're like, sure, buddy. What? What?

SPEAKER_04

Never mind.

SPEAKER_02

No, say that again, please, because I heard he beats me.

SPEAKER_04

No. No. I said. Anybody that beats me up.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00

So it's not just gender.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna rough me up on the back.

SPEAKER_02

That's your sexuality.

SPEAKER_07

I don't know what the like technical term for that is, but God, today at work I had to explain. Well, it was me and then my other queer co-worker and her wife, the three of us explaining to two of our straight lady co-workers what top and bottom was. First of all, 2026. I don't give a fuck what your excuse is. You should know. Yeah, that's you should fucking know. Context clues. Not context clues. Context clues. But we were talking about how my married coworkers, they want to have a baby, and I was like, haha, turkey baster joke, blah blah blah. And then, but the top slash stud of the relationship wants to be the pregnant one. And then the straight coworker was like, wait, how's that work? And I was like, hang on.

SPEAKER_02

Because she still has a uterus?

SPEAKER_07

Because she can carry a child. And then I said the word switch, and they were like, What's a switch?

SPEAKER_04

And I was like, Oh, you're getting too you're getting too into it for them. That was day two lessons. You got ahead of yourself.

SPEAKER_07

Ride husband, that make you bottom on top switch. She was like, Oh, I get it. My god. She was like, thanks, I you needed to dumb it down for me. And I was like, Clearly.

SPEAKER_05

Fuck.

SPEAKER_07

Do you have to worry about it? You're not welcome in. You're not welcome into the club, actually.

SPEAKER_05

Boo.

SPEAKER_07

Street people are so boring. Yeah, what's got you on your knees? Street people. Um yeah. No. Sometimes. Sometimes. Um same. I've been feeling like really like I've been, no matter how I've been so busy, but I've been really full of gratitude lately because my life has been very full and social. And that, you know, like little glip little blips is where I can be social. It's been happening, which like I am such a friend. I'm a friend girl. You know, just a girl that needs somebody. Um so yeah, I've just been overwhelmed but grateful. Yeah. That's good.

SPEAKER_02

Well, um, I've been thinking a lot. I'm on my knees because I, for as long as I can remember, have had a thing almost exclusively for cancer Leo cusps. Okay. But they're never the healed ones.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

And you have found you have found one that is healed? I have found on because he because oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04

So like last deacon cancer, first deacon Leo's across that board is kind of your own. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

And I've always also um just gravitated toward cancers in general, like my best friends growing up almost have exclusively been cancers.

SPEAKER_04

Um, right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Sun rising. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. That's why I cry at everything. But actually, we were talking about that at work the other day, and I said that I cried at a movie that was surprising. And um my coworker looked at me and said, I'm no, obviously you cried. You cry at fucking everything.

unknown

Damn. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Ouch. Don't have to tell me.

SPEAKER_02

Really need to be read like that. I almost started crying.

SPEAKER_04

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02

But yeah, um, it'd be cool if my brain could just decide to choose like a different sign, maybe.

SPEAKER_04

Um or at least Aquarius. No.

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_04

Only an Aquarius woman. No. Genuinely. Don't ever date an Aquarius man. Uh or you know what? For real. Woman only. Don't even go for nothing. I know. I know.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_07

It's coming from Aquarius. My mother is a cancer, and I have a cancer moon as well. And so even though she's not my biological mother, we have been bonded. Soul, soul tied bonded since I was three days old.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Um and I have just, I don't know if it's my cancer moon or if it's my, I'm just all water. I just attract a lot of water. So my friend Lindsay's a Pisces. My other good friend that I've talked about is a double cancer.

SPEAKER_02

They're like, so my best friend is a triple cancer.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. They they cry more than you.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_07

They do. And then they not like gross, like, but they're crying, they're anger crying. They're like, ah, like that.

SPEAKER_02

They're gonna watch this and they're gonna And am I wrong? Incredibly cold.

SPEAKER_07

You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_04

You're gonna look at me, and whenever somebody doesn't do what you suggest, you you say you don't get angry. Okay. Oh, your gentle suggestion. Yeah. Sure. Okay. I'm getting out of the room. I'm leaving. I'm scared. So we can say we all have cancer inside.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, well.

SPEAKER_02

Don't manifest that. No, not me.

SPEAKER_04

That was yucky, actually.

SPEAKER_02

No. I might have a cancer inside.

SPEAKER_04

I oh ey-o! I uh I'm friends with a lot of them. They're kind of across the board.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I was gonna say not very many Virgos, but that's not true anymore. It's very, very spread out.

SPEAKER_01

What's uh what's the what's the old bruise boy?

SPEAKER_02

Old Bruise Boy! Old Bruce Boy. I need you to change his name in your phone now.

SPEAKER_07

Old Bruise Boy. Here Taurus. Okay, so he does like to eat.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, he's hungry. Good for you, bitch. I'm so happy for you, Mo.

SPEAKER_00

Same.

SPEAKER_07

Like, I'm a little bit sorry that they're men, but also get it. I'm so happy for you. Listen. Happy for you. Shit happens. It does. I wasn't I was we've all been married to them, so like who am I? I know, right? Say shit. Like, I'm not actually judging, I'm just teasing.

SPEAKER_00

Scary.

SPEAKER_02

I hate that's I was never married to a cis man. Oh. I was married to a trans man.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

But lucky.

SPEAKER_02

And some days that was worse because it chose to be that way.

SPEAKER_04

No, I this like it doesn't matter. Get away. Unless you're bruising me.

SPEAKER_02

Be careful what you wish for. Then get close. That's dangerous.

unknown

Danger.

SPEAKER_04

Um, I've got a question.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

This is from Nigel. They them. Fucking on your period. Yes or no? Yes. Yes? It's whatever.

SPEAKER_02

I just don't think it's sticky. That's it. But it's it's a big thing. I'll let fuck the pain away for sure.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. An orgasm in general, like you don't have to do penetration. You know, an orgasm in general will help your cramps and your migraines. It helps. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I just don't feel like sexy. My period fucks me up so bad. Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

My body dysmorphia. I will say, oh yes.

SPEAKER_07

Totally. That's how I know my period's coming too, because I'll be like, wow, that's the ugliest hog person I've ever fucking seen. And then I'll be like, oh, it's my period.

SPEAKER_04

The other day on my Instagram story, I was like, I look like an alien. I look fucked up. Then I was like, I did start my period yesterday.

SPEAKER_07

That'll do it. That'll do it. I will say when I was younger, I was more like, I don't know, when I was more youthful, like in my 20s and having sex on my period, I was like, this is still hot or whatever. It's also the aftermath that's not good. It's just messy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

And it's a different, it's like a different kind of wet, so it does dry sticky. And it's so so the cleanup is terrible, but the benefits of it are good because you're getting the dopamine and the serotonin and all that. Like and helping with the cramps, but in shower was fun.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, fun. But also, I just don't like the wet's different, so it also feels different. It just doesn't feel as good.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it doesn't. Like as a good thing. It's like a dry wet, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, dude.

SPEAKER_07

Yes, like when you eat grapes.

SPEAKER_04

It's like the lubricant, it's not water-based. And that's fucked up.

SPEAKER_07

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_04

You eat grapes. You know what I mean when you eat? I can't go past that. The grape dust is in my pussy.

unknown

You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, the grape dust.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown

Great.

SPEAKER_04

Bunch of pussy squeaking. I'm on my period.

SPEAKER_07

I hate it. Actually.

SPEAKER_03

Greek squeaks.

SPEAKER_06

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03

That's my drag name. God damn it. Right.

SPEAKER_07

Your drag name is Camel Toe. Not anymore.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, true. No. True. True. Now it's Moon's Knuckle. You didn't want it. I'm taking it.

SPEAKER_07

Oh my god. Um, uh, nope. Never mind.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. It also depends. Like, I don't really mind. I don't prefer it. And I'm also very pretty submissive. So, like, kind of whatever the other person wants. I'm like, oh, you do want to fuck me on my period? Okay. Oh, you don't? That's fine.

SPEAKER_07

Would you let somebody get it? Would you let somebody go down on you when you're on your period? I have. I don't think I've ever experienced that. But that scene in Saltburn made me want it. Yeah. I was like, wait, that's hot.

SPEAKER_04

That's so hot. Yeah. I have I don't think I have allowed that.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, neither have I. I it's been a while. It's been a while. I don't know. So sorry.

SPEAKER_02

I'm just not like a huge fan of period blood. And I don't necessarily want it in my mouth. Yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I feel like because I wouldn't want to I wouldn't want to do it. I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to unless the person, which has happened and I've said no, is like really begging and enthusiastic. I s I still think it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02

That's yeah, that was what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um like if it's like the only thing they want in that moment.

SPEAKER_07

That's what okay, yeah. They ask. It's more for them, not yeah, more for them, not for me. But then also I'm a little embarrassed because uh I guess you like to eat pennies or whatever.

SPEAKER_04

I guess I mean if they're into it, if they're if they ask and they're into it, then I I don't get embarrassed.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. That's fine, but because it's embarrassment's about being perceived, so that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I guess that's yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, but also I'm very don't look at me.

SPEAKER_04

Don't fucking so the answer is very nuanced. That's I would say if I'm just saying yes or no, I'm gonna say no. Like I'd rather just get through the period.

SPEAKER_02

It has to be than have sex. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

If it's like a day before or like a day after and not the full like five metal, then fine. Yeah, fine.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_07

But yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But if you're asking on my heaviest day, no. Get away from it.

SPEAKER_07

Actually, if you're in my five foot vicinity, I need you to fall off.

SPEAKER_02

Actually, yeah. Bring me you're breathing. Bring me a snack, and then you can go away. I never want to see you again, actually. Actually through the door.

SPEAKER_07

Six feet, like like like little rabbit pellets, like you're just like feeding a goat through the door. I just like open.

SPEAKER_02

And then five minutes later, all I'm gonna want is for you to hold me.

SPEAKER_07

But from afar and not hold me over there.

SPEAKER_02

I don't feel it. Okay, I can see you're looking at me.

SPEAKER_04

Can you air squeeze me harder? Huh? I like that question. Yeah. That's from one of my IRL friends. Um I've got another sex one.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Go for it. Horny weak part two.

SPEAKER_04

Horny weak part two. I think there's only two horny ones.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Um sorry. John he him asks, when you're on your knees, do you consider your posture?

SPEAKER_07

I probably should, but I probably should. Thanks. Thanks for putting that in my head, John.

SPEAKER_02

Only if I'm having a particularly hard time and then I'm like, oh, your head's forward.

SPEAKER_07

Like, not that I I mean, if I feel like I'm being a weird ghoul about it, fucking like straighten my back up.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not thinking of anything except I'm gonna look up into your eyes and make it a problem for both of us. Yeah. My posture is however I can look up at you and make you squirm a little.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. I don't really think I don't consider my posture, but uh, but like, you know, if it's like a weird uh position.

SPEAKER_02

My back is already flaring up, probably, but yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Straight if I if I'm like on my back, maybe like head over the edge of the bed in that upside down situation, then no, you don't have to think about it. Right. Then you're just it's perfect.

SPEAKER_02

Because yeah, then my spine is I should really do that more often because I feel like that's the Prime position. It's more of a dick. I don't have to worry about my back. Exactly.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. The person with the penis is doing more of a dick.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Also, when you're upside down, dick goes down your throat. So much easier.

SPEAKER_02

So much easier. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's so much easier. And it's a gift. But I really have a really small mouth. I have a little mouth.

SPEAKER_02

Horribly small mouth. Like to the point where I have heard multiple times, oh my god, you weren't lying.

SPEAKER_04

Shit. Me and Mooney got big old mouths. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02

I'm jealous. Transfer some of your mouth big to me, please.

SPEAKER_07

We just have to kiss mouth bigs. That's how you do the transferring.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. Who do you think gave you the mouth big transplant?

SPEAKER_07

This is this is the posture I do when I'm doing it. I do when I'm doing it. This is this is what you're supposed to do with your hands, right? Yeah. You just twist and crank. You crank them.

unknown

Crank them.

SPEAKER_04

Opposite way.

SPEAKER_07

Turn one down, turn one up. And also, I heard they like it dry.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

So make sure you dry your tongue really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Crank them. Just crank them. Fill your mouth with cotton balls for five minutes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Drink a lot of alcohol. Don't eat for like 12 hours.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. No water.

SPEAKER_04

No water. And then make sure you're dry it. Yes. Dry it. Make sure you've been in the garden right before.

SPEAKER_07

And just maybe put your hands in the freezer for just five minutes. Oh they're on. And dry. And then crank, and don't forget to crank it.

SPEAKER_02

Don't forget to crank it. You can't forget to crank it.

SPEAKER_07

Not this. This. This. You grab them, you crank them. And you crank, and you said opposite, right? So you wax on, wax off. Crank them.

SPEAKER_04

And that's how you that's how you crank that soldier boy. Sorry.

SPEAKER_07

Those are the balls. And you're Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

So I know the question wasn't how to give a ball job. How to give one properly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Well, in case anybody was wondering. Well, and this is educational. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

This has been a PBS production.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. They send it to you.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's education. This is education. It's public education.

SPEAKER_07

I like I like telling people how to do things that we do that more often.

SPEAKER_04

How do you eat pussy? Yeah. Tell us.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_07

Oh. No. Um, so first. No.

SPEAKER_01

So first you start gently. You look at it and you tell it's put it, otherwise it'll get scaled and it'll clamshut, and you don't want to do that. That's what mine does.

SPEAKER_02

That sound was incredible.

SPEAKER_00

She's like, okay.

SPEAKER_03

How do you do it? How do you do it?

SPEAKER_04

First, I asked chat GPT.

SPEAKER_02

And then it tells you how to tie a noose.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. And then I do this for real. It's like, have you considered that you're God and can't fuck up eating pussy?

SPEAKER_02

Actually, you're God. You invented eating pussy.

SPEAKER_04

How do I do it? I get I put honey all over my hands, right? Uh-huh. And just always good. Straight into the bush. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Two honey hands. Moisturizing for sure.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Bushed up, bushed up honey hands. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Hold on, I'm still holding the book. Okay. You don't crank it.

unknown

No crank.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. So what you don't want to do is crank it. What you don't want to do to a pussy is crank it. No. Don't crank the pussy. You can give the clit a little quink. Yes.

SPEAKER_07

It's more like a yes. Little knock.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, like if you're like turning up the volume on like your keyboard. But don't crank it. No. You don't take it to eleven.

SPEAKER_02

No. Maybe seven.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. Work up to a seven. You agreed with me.

SPEAKER_07

I'm a one dog. No, I'm a brick dog. What about moon being worried about seven? That's high. I need a double two, a two. Two? Yeah. Okay. She gentle.

SPEAKER_02

That's I mean. It really depends on what my hormones are doing. Sometimes one.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I guess it depends on the strength of the person. Because like if I'm using my vibrator, that bitch is on 11.

SPEAKER_07

Well, if you wanna yeah. Yeah, if you want to get there. But hands, somebody's handsome.

SPEAKER_06

That's why the that's why the tongue is perfect.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_06

Sometimes that's not enough for me.

SPEAKER_04

Especially if it's more pressed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, no, not just tongue. It can never be just tongue. Just tongue, and I it can be for a minute. Over seconds. In the beginning.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I double beging.

SPEAKER_04

In the beginning. I love that boy. Our boyfriend God created time.

SPEAKER_07

Time knife. Then pussy eating. Do not use time knife when pussy eating.

SPEAKER_02

No. Any knife, but especially not time knife.

SPEAKER_07

No. I have to say no.

SPEAKER_02

Put my foot down.

SPEAKER_07

You're not my dad. You're not my dad.

SPEAKER_02

I could be.

SPEAKER_04

Um. No, then you wouldn't talk to me.

SPEAKER_02

Yo. Just kidding. I love my dad.

SPEAKER_04

Sorry, dad.

SPEAKER_02

Well, my dad doesn't talk to me.

SPEAKER_04

I don't. Don't listen to the attack with that fucking. If you've gotten this far. Ew, stop. Turn it off.

SPEAKER_07

Get out of here.

SPEAKER_02

I doubt my dad has listened to any of these, but if he's listening to this one. I know why he doesn't talk to me.

SPEAKER_07

She'll, I don't know if you guys have seen like the comments where she's like, there's my girl, like on like random videos. My mom's done it too. But I want to be like, mom, please don't. She'll be like, send me the newest episode. And I'm like, no, absolutely not. No, you sweet angel. I won't be.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_04

That's crazy. But no, I do not consider my posture at all.

SPEAKER_02

I'm not considering my posture right now. I'm not busy.

SPEAKER_07

I'm not turning to the side. You'd be appalled.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

The way I'm sitting.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I think I'm sitting up really straight. C shaped. See, I got I got scary, actually. Stop. I'm five foot two through five foot three on a good day. But because so when I sit, I should be, I should look shorter. But because I have so much ass, I mean, I have a lot of y'all have seen it. Yeah, I got a lot of a shit. So I sit up a lot higher. Like Emily's like five inches. It's hilarious. Emily is five inches taller than me, and in the car, I tower over them because I'm sitting on a goddamn yearbook. For a dictionary, an encyclopedia, if you will.

SPEAKER_03

So if when I sit up, Britannica. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

When I sit up straight, I look like I'm 5'10. It's all booty, dude. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And that's not a brag. I'm actually insecure about her most. I promise it's not a brag. I just feel like I don't, just because it's like it's a Leo's season.

SPEAKER_04

You're right.

SPEAKER_07

It's Leo's season. I don't think I have any Leo placements. I like Apple.

SPEAKER_05

Really?

SPEAKER_04

You've got one of your houses is in Leo. Is it? It has to be. It has to be. Does it? I don't know. What's your rising sign? Uh Pisces. Pisces. So Leo would be like six. Sixth house. Right. How do you have that map? I read about astrology.

SPEAKER_07

I could pull I could pull up my co-star, but I don't want to. Don't use co-star.

SPEAKER_04

Why would you use time passages? They don't use real um astrologers. Even before they started using AI, they just use like random people. They use AI? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I like time passages. I don't think they use AI. But it's much more in-depth. It's so good.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna download it right now.

SPEAKER_04

It's my favorite one.

SPEAKER_02

Because when I was thinking about the cancer thing earlier, I don't know that much about astrology for somebody who like genuinely believes in it.

SPEAKER_04

I just finished one astrology book and I started another one today. It's a picky one, and the words are so tiny. Yeah, it's hermetic astrology though, so it's more like uh spiritual religious based. Yeah. Neat so far. What was it? What was the app called again? Time passages. Everybody download it. Everybody tell me your Sun, Moon, Rising, and Venus. Oh, probably I forgot the Wi-Fi turned off.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, um, you guys want to do uh podcasts?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, let's do a podcast.

SPEAKER_07

Podcast, podcast, podcasts, podcasts, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I wish I had a lighter uh okay.

SPEAKER_07

Um so I sent the pictures to the Discord on your knees Discord. Oh no, like I know. I would like to hear what you think of this cat. Perhaps a name, perhaps a gender, perhaps a brain cell.

SPEAKER_04

He only have sharp tooth on one side. I didn't know this. That is so cute.

SPEAKER_02

I want to say something that is hilarious, but I don't want in the podcast.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna just give you like a garbled name, just words. Um, but the word that almost came out was gurbels.

SPEAKER_05

Why why don't you wanna why can't that be in here? Why can't that be in there?

SPEAKER_04

Why can't we gerble on the podcast? Why is gerbeling not allowed? I said no boofing. You're putting you're putting a no on gurbiling?

SPEAKER_05

Girbels.

SPEAKER_04

No gobles, no boofing. This is the most boring podcast.

SPEAKER_07

Also, also, the last episode we did together, we spent five minutes saying the word bonky over and over again. Okay, no, you guys.

SPEAKER_02

Goebbels was a Nazi doctor, though.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, okay, okay, hang on. I didn't want to assume that because it has a Hitler mustache, but I was like, it's a funny word, but I don't want to say that it's a Nazi. When I knew in my heart Goebbels was a Nazi. I didn't know this. We don't read enough books.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think it was because of the Hitler mustache on the cat, but okay.

SPEAKER_04

No, the fact that it's pointed out now, though, now that it is now what it is.

SPEAKER_07

Sorry, Amber. This person, Amber, you sweet angel. I do believe the owner of this cat is named Amber. Amber, I'm sorry. Fuck. There's no way she doesn't think this when she looks at her son. I'd be like, once a day, I'd be like wink once if you're gurbbles.

unknown

Welcome to boom.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. And your cat just lovingly slow blinks at you.

SPEAKER_04

Oh. Fuck. Welcome to podcasts where we ruin your cats for you.

SPEAKER_02

So, so sorry.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, let's pretend he's not a Nazi. Well, he's not. Sweet Nazi. He's not a Nazi. He's not a Natalie. He's not a Nazi. You're right.

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_07

And he's just a cat. No Nazi cat. He's so fucking cute. He's actually so fucking cute. He's so cute. And you know what? It's actually kind of giving Wilfred Brimley.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I like his little. So he's all gray with a white chest, white, normal Charlie Chaplin mustache. Yes, and little white Sockies. Yeah, him a tuxedo. He's sweetie. Great tuxedo.

SPEAKER_07

He looks like a tuxedo. He's that first picture with him green eyes. Oh, yeah. I know.

SPEAKER_02

I was just lost in his eyes right now.

SPEAKER_04

He also is shape. Think of shape. First picture. Fashion.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

He is shape.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um gives Bobcat in some way that I can't figure out.

SPEAKER_04

Huh. Oh, probably because they have that like big like thing in his face. He doesn't have a tail.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, that's probably it. Oh my god. That too. Wait, do you think it's just not in the picture? No, dude. He doesn't have a tail. He doesn't have a tail.

SPEAKER_02

He is a bobcat. Cutie. I think maybe his name is Bob then. Yeah. Honestly. Bob. Kinda like the minion, but also.

SPEAKER_04

Well, he's in a tuxedo. His name is Robert.

SPEAKER_07

You're right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. He's right.

SPEAKER_04

His name is Robert.

SPEAKER_07

Robert. You think he has a brain cell?

SPEAKER_04

I do. I think he could be a doctor.

SPEAKER_05

Dr. Robert.

unknown

Sorry.

SPEAKER_05

Paging Dr. Robert.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. I tried to think of a Robert in the first one I thought of was RFK.

SPEAKER_05

No.

SPEAKER_07

My god. I think there's something wrong with me. Are you okay? Wasn't garbles a fucking doctor? Garbles, garbles.

SPEAKER_04

Grundle?

SPEAKER_05

I don't want this.

SPEAKER_04

This is Robert Grundel. MD. Now, the picture of him biting, and he only got half his teeth. I'm gonna take a half brain cells for that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I agree.

SPEAKER_04

Five. Five out of ten.

SPEAKER_02

His whole ass is off of that chair, too. I don't know how he's meat.

SPEAKER_07

Big meatball.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

And that's and that's spelled M-E-E-B-O-L-E. Meeble.

SPEAKER_02

Meeble. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Meeble. Robert Garble garbles. Grundle.

SPEAKER_07

Something. This is Robert.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Well. Bobby to his friends.

SPEAKER_07

Bobby to his friend. Bobby is so cute for a cat. Wait. Especially with his little socks. So I think the name is gonna make a lot of sense because I will say the name is kind of giving cop, but like in like a funny, like 80s sitcom way, because his name is Chip Douglas. This cat's name is Chip Douglas. Yeah, yeah. That is better than Chipotle. Chip is a frat boy name. Chip Douglas? I don't know. It's giving cop to me. Like I can do that. Frat boy who became a cop. Chip Douglas.

SPEAKER_04

Chip Douglas.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, it's Chip Douglas. So so Amber says, What's his name and how many brain cells does he have? Actual name, Chip Douglas. Thanks for keeping me laughing, Amber. And then the I will because it's funny, but also fuck AI. The the suggested reply. Chip Douglas has exactly one brain cell, and it's currently dedicated to plotting how to knock things off the counter. Thanks for listening. Listening is what it wanted me to reply.

SPEAKER_04

Well, we can spirit me. We give him two extra. I say three out of ten. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I see three out of ten, too. Chip Douglas.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_07

What did we say?

SPEAKER_04

Robert Grundle. Grundle. Meeble M D. Robert Meeble Grund Grundle M D. He had to resign in disgrace, actually. They've realized he's not smart enough to be a doctor. Oh yeah, no.

SPEAKER_07

He's a he's a a doctor of friendship. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I see no biting and he's looking at you not happy.

SPEAKER_02

Those are actually actually his hard eyes, and you're not paying close enough attention to him.

SPEAKER_04

That's how I yeah, that's oh, that's my bad. And I should have known better because that's how I look at people whenever I like them.

SPEAKER_07

Thanks for sending him in, Amber. We love him, and I'm sorry we have all been a Nazi. We don't think truly, I'm so sorry. He's not a catsy. He's not a catsy. All cats are beautiful. All cats are beautiful. Yes. Yeah. Um, please keep sending us pictures of your cats.

SPEAKER_04

We won't call any more of them Nazis. We promise.

SPEAKER_02

I'll do my best.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Sorry. My chair is so squeaky. It's like begging me to stand up and not sit on it anymore.

SPEAKER_04

It's so squeaky. It's going. I haven't noticed. I don't notice when we're doing it, but when I'm editing it, which I take it out, but whenever I'm editing, I'm like, how did I not hear that?

SPEAKER_07

I'm wiggly. I'm wiggly guy chair.

SPEAKER_04

We know that though.

SPEAKER_07

We know that.

SPEAKER_04

That's why I fix stuff. I can never have. That's why I fix it. Thank you. Another question? Yes, please.

SPEAKER_05

You have a fucking hell hound and out my sane.

SPEAKER_04

Don't is that flat cold retriever? He's a black lab. Go like this so he comes up. Oh, he's a black lab. Kana. Kana, come here. Kana. Come here, Kana. Oh Kana.

SPEAKER_02

He's over here, buddy. Oh my arm. I love you, buddy.

SPEAKER_03

Why are animals always trying to eat you? Yeah, I know. Go to your room. Thank you. Go to your room. Go to your room, I said. Thank you. Dang. Connor Bear.

SPEAKER_07

He actually didn't do anything wrong. I'm his lawyer. I'll make sure.

SPEAKER_04

I'm the bad guy.

SPEAKER_02

And I hired him to do bad stuff. You guys, I'm supposed to be dog sitting. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07

I know, right?

SPEAKER_04

God he's so menaces. You're welcome. Hey, this is great actually. Because Lake, Bay Vim, asks, what would your persona be? Maybe you already have one, maybe not. Describe what your animal slash creature would be and why. I've had this conversation with them, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like our whole house got together and was like. Um, and we decided that I'd be a capybara because friends shade. I feel like we knew that. Um, people are generally pretty chill with me.

SPEAKER_04

I love that.

SPEAKER_02

And the Catholic want to eat, call me a fish and eat me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. What terror in your face. Do you not know this story? No. Um, I don't remember what country it was in, but um if if I'm remembering the story correctly, um, there weren't enough fish to eat during Lent. So they legally started calling capabars fish so that they can eat them during Lent.

SPEAKER_04

I hate that. Okay. I love religion because you just make up whatever the fuck you want, apparently.

SPEAKER_02

Right. And God will be okay with it.

SPEAKER_04

For sure.

SPEAKER_02

You called it a fish? Yeah, you're good.

SPEAKER_04

That's a fish. I made it. I know. I know that's a fish. God.

SPEAKER_07

You've never seen a fish with fur before walk on all fours out of water?

SPEAKER_02

Idiot idiot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

God.

SPEAKER_02

I know it has tits in milk, but like.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, what's it too you fish tits?

SPEAKER_05

Fuck.

SPEAKER_07

I just love I just like can't imagine the out-of-context bullshit that Emily hears.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, honestly, I know.

SPEAKER_04

They love it. Oh, of course they do.

SPEAKER_07

I always leave the room and they're like, I don't know what that was about that. It's kind of funny, though. That's so funny. That's the point. Um, I don't know. What about you?

SPEAKER_04

Um, oh, mine would be a fox. I decided long ago.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I would be one of those overly sexual, curvy as hell, hot, fox, foxy. That makes sense. Fox.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. I don't know. I have no clue. What do you guys think? For me. You. Hmm.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sorry that the first thing I thought of was horse. Horse? It's just the energy. Powerful. Powerful? My energy is horse like. It's powerful. I'd love to see you with that.

SPEAKER_02

With the bit?

SPEAKER_04

Sexy. Okay, that's kind of bad.

SPEAKER_07

Like uh.

SPEAKER_02

Don't tell my mom I said that. Like a doberman.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, with a bit.

SPEAKER_02

I can see.

SPEAKER_07

I just need to see something. Do you just want to walk me like a dog with something in my mouth? Is that what I'm doing? We can arrange this. Then yes. No, I would never. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Fold it under no pressure.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, like a do like some kind of like. Yeah, I can see that. No, my persona is a Taco Bell Chihuahua.

SPEAKER_04

That's copyrighted.

SPEAKER_02

Very specific.

SPEAKER_04

He's a dead Chihuahua. He's been dead for so long.

SPEAKER_07

Would you be a zombie persona? I've been pet cemeteried. Oh that's it.

unknown

That's all.

SPEAKER_02

I wonder if that was your actu if your actual fursona was like a furry but dead. Would you really upset people at conventions?

SPEAKER_07

Probably. I would need to wear a t-shirt with a trigger warning on it or something.

SPEAKER_02

That's happened.

SPEAKER_07

You know? I don't think there's like a sloppy fursona.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know enough furries, but if any furries in our um audience would like to let us know. Right. That's probably like actually genuinely really curious thing, right?

SPEAKER_04

Like they probably have to have their own subsection of furries. Well, I don't mean it to be complicated.

SPEAKER_07

I just mean it to be funny.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I know, but now I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_07

Look what you've done. Look what you've done. I I I don't know. This is an educational show. Or you're right. This is the miseducation of on your knees. Yep. You're welcome, public. General public. Yeah, I think something like a like a like a chihuahua or a Doberman, like something that's really tough but also super soft. Oh yeah. Yeah, like that. Cool spot, like a Doberman, cool spiked collar. You know, and like you're just I would pierce the ear. I would pierce the ear on the bottom. Oh yeah. Like several times.

SPEAKER_04

I was absolutely imagining it.

SPEAKER_07

A crop top crop top and then a donk. A donk in the back. A donk Roman. Actually, I can picture it and it's cute as hell.

SPEAKER_04

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe we're actually all furries. Maybe maybe we just think about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_04

I just don't have the money for it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04

Somebody commented on one of her videos and was like, not all furries have money.

SPEAKER_05

I was like, get a better job.

SPEAKER_04

Why don't you just switch jobs? Why don't you just be a capitalist? Just go get a fucking job.

SPEAKER_05

Hello.

SPEAKER_04

All you have to do is become a CEO and exploit people, and then you'll be a better furry.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Obviously. I feel bad now. We don't actually think that. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_04

I feel like in fact, some of you furries pull it back. Why do you need all that? Yeah, right. Reel it in.

SPEAKER_02

Use your imagination, please.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, a deer would also be cute. A deer would be cute. I would love deer. Um, I also love the idea of a praying mantis, would be fucking odd. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07

And then you can have like Are they so the airies then? Or is there something?

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I think I saw some a drag queen do that.

SPEAKER_04

Like one of those like pink pretty ones.

SPEAKER_02

Oh a flower or uh is it a flower orchid mantis? Flower orchid mantis beautiful.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, that would be cool.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. What time is it? 8 10? Well, we did another one. We did it. Oh we did it. We chatted and we goofed and we bitted.

SPEAKER_02

This is a funny one. It was.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

We're especially for being off for three weeks, technically, the three of us off. For three weeks.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Honestly, friends. And I think I've said this before. I think waiting a little bit between health.

SPEAKER_04

We I'll say it after the show. Well, yes. So housekeeping. Housekeeping. Housekeeping. Donk donk donk. Housekeeping. Um donk donk donk.

SPEAKER_02

Donk, donk, donk. Donk before you come in.

unknown

Donk.

SPEAKER_07

I enter backwards. This has been on your news podcast. Thanks for listening.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_07

Sorry. Sorry. I've been I was MIA. I'm back. Um, you can find us on our socials. We've got an Instagram and a TikTok and all of that. Um you can find our personal Instagrams on our Linktree as well as our YouTube and and all that good stuff. So check us out anywhere you get your podcast app. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's all under On Your Kneespod. That's our app everywhere.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, and please send us email us onyourneespod at gmail.com with pictures of your cats, unhinged questions, um, comments, whatever. We've got from you guys. DMs tender, dms, yeah. Whatever. Make it weird. If you guys have any like silly suggestions, like you want to see us do weird impressions or like whatever, just uh if you see a trend that you think we should do, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Just tag us in it. Honestly. Yeah, absolutely. We'll get to it. Maybe. Yeah. Um, I'd like to thank GWiz for our uh theme song. They're a music producer and DJ. And you can hear more of their stuff on their website, GWizoftestars.com. G W I Z of the Stars.com. Thanks, GWiz.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02

Um, thanks for listening. Um, we'll be back next Monday. For sure. Yeah, we'll be back with that. Yep, manifesting. Um yeah, we'll be here. Um you can find us where we're streaming on our bus route, which is in our link tree. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Do it.

SPEAKER_04

Since I'm on my period, I won't be having sex constantly, so I'll have time to do the have more time, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03

Don't be sorry for getting it. Slut.

SPEAKER_04

But slut. Slut.

SPEAKER_00

Slut.

SPEAKER_07

My finger, my finger was being weird for a second.

SPEAKER_02

I can see that. That's what that means.

SPEAKER_07

No.

unknown

Slut.

SPEAKER_02

I don't even know.

SPEAKER_07

I got I told you guys I got all my fingers in there. It's it's just it's just flip-up.

SPEAKER_03

I can't. I can't, I can't. You can't like doing it like that. Not like that. Slip.

SPEAKER_02

When I gotta hold my fingers down.

SPEAKER_04

You gotta hold them down.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Slut.

SPEAKER_02

Unless, unless I like that's why does it differ? Flip it around.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_02

The salute of it all.

SPEAKER_07

Slut.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, I have to hold my finger down.

SPEAKER_04

That's okay. I forgive you. Thanks. I missed y'all. I know I missed you. Show you all my bruises. Of course.

SPEAKER_01

Thanks for showing me all your bruises.

SPEAKER_07

A fuck ton of bruises, but I don't even know where they came from, so I have one white heel, but I think that that's from somebody's pibble. Pibbles we will wrestle.

SPEAKER_02

We were wrestling.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I was wrestling. You were. That has a different kind. That's like a mommy daddy type of wrestling.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.