S1E4 Fuzznughts

In this episode, our unflappable crew takes a rickshaw right into the moist jowls of a Siren Apple den. The crew learns that some footfalls are more dangerous than others...

Transcript

SPEAKER_08 0:01

You know they're just razor scooters, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:04

We are my hands, they're a deadly weapon.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

You're over there just like swinging them around.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Kick flip the shit out of those things into somebody's teeth.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

I would argue that razor scooters are always a deadly weapon, especially towards oneself.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

No prime vessel for eating shit.

SPEAKER_08 0:29

Assault with a stupid weapon.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Accurately. Oh, that's gonna be the name of my memoir. Thank you. Assault with a stupid weapon. Assault with a stupid weapon.

SPEAKER_08 0:49

Okay. Everybody ready to play? Excited?

SPEAKER_03 0:55

We already did it!

SPEAKER_08 0:57

Big smiles, Garrett's nipples, big smiles. No. Oh I was just trying to figure out what was the shortest sentence I could say that would make Garrett smile.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

I don't know. It's the reason I swim with a t-shirt on, stop it.

SPEAKER_08 1:14

It did make him smile, so.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

It works.

SPEAKER_08 1:19

Alright. Well, hopefully all the somewhere and all of that, but we'll share with something interesting to listen to. And with that, we'll start the music. I'm Ian, your GM, and joining me around the table are.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Hi, I'm Free Drennan. I play Glitch, Half Clank, Half Human, and Ship Mechanic aboard the Rise.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Hi, I'm Audra, and I am Tabitha, the ship's quartermaster.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

I'm Garrett, and I play Tegan St. James, the ship's pilot.

SPEAKER_07 2:38

Hey, I'm Eugene, and I play Qualo, Nasim Dasabi, the ship's uh half halfling, half-elf science officer. And um para español, oh prima, el ocho.

SPEAKER_08 2:57

Also, why did you like Garrett's like um Tegan? The ship.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

It wasn't meant to be that way. It really wasn't.

SPEAKER_08 3:07

It's so very sultry. I don't and it it almost sounded like it almost sounded like after you did it, then Z was starting to like Kyrie's like, should I also do a sexy sexy place?

SPEAKER_07 3:21

No, that was entirely. I don't actually ever remember what my role is. And so I was like, science officer, engineer, scrapper. I don't know. It might change a thing. It might become a thing. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Half halfling, half elf, full cutie.

SPEAKER_07 3:37

Yeah, I also don't ever remember my races, so uh have a real memory problem apparently.

SPEAKER_08 3:50

So, the last episode, you all were tailing the other salvage crew with Alan, Wrench, and the mysterious gold-eyed woman, with Qualo out front, and the rest of you, like normal, trailing behind Qualo, trying to figure out what Qualo was doing. It's roughly 2 a.m. ish in sea sky time, which means that there's no real time out there, but it's late and everybody's you know going to bed. The area is lit with that weird uh shimmering purple that comes from the sea sky, and you know, people wandering home, you can hear laughing and crying in the distance, and the sounds of like a city winding down in its final hours for starting back up for the beginning of the day. And so you guys find yourselves in an alley trying to stay behind the other group, and I'm assuming you're trying to be unseen?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Yes. Yeah, trying to be stealthy.

SPEAKER_08 4:56

Alright. So describe to me the way in which you're moving to not be seen by this other group.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

I'm on all fours.

SPEAKER_08 5:09

Classic.

SPEAKER_07 5:10

Uh, Qualo, since you're out front? Um well, since I'm a rogue, is that what I am? Um no, that's an actual question. Is my character class rogue? I I don't know. I believe so.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

You are a syndicate.

SPEAKER_07 5:27

It can be if you want to be. Listen, when you've been playing uh role-playing games as long as I have, thief, rogue, assassin, uh it all blurs together. Um I am gonna be using my cloaked ability. Which is, you know, maybe more flavor at this point of the mechanics in this session, but uh I'll be hiding and skulking from shadow shadow.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Glitch is staying to the back of the group, already covered in a large dark cloak and uh leather gloves and heavy boots covering any other part of skin that might be showing. I've tugged my hood down to the point where I can barely see because I don't want any glint off the goggles.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Uh on the way out of the uh bar, Keegan found a large piece of canvas that was kind of rumpled up in a corner of an alley, and he's quickly slid a hole in the top to make a makeshift poncho, and every time that they look back, he just ducks down and pretends to be a pile of trash. Fantastic. Why is that pile of trash following us? It's stock station theta, there's a lot of trash.

SPEAKER_08 6:37

Alright. So I'm gonna have Qualo make the role for the team. Uh Qualo, can you make me a hide roll, please?

SPEAKER_07 6:47

I can. That is finesse, correct? Correct. Okay. Uh hey, since it's our first die roll, everybody, I'm a halfling. That makes us all hopeful.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Ooh, I'm gonna get that hope.

SPEAKER_07 7:00

Everybody get that bonus hope. 19 with fear.

SPEAKER_08 7:05

19 with fear. Well, I'm gonna eat that delicious fear.

unknown 7:09

Ah.

SPEAKER_08 7:10

And you guys are going to successfully stalk this other group. They meander around the streets for a while, and Koalo, you can tell from your roguish background that they, while they are seemingly having like friendly conversation while they're moving around, that they are taking an unnecessarily circuitous route. Uh, almost like they have some intuition they might be followed, and they're trying to uh break contact. But you keep a pace with them, the four of you weirdly following along. I'm imagining like the giant cat stalking the garbage pile of trash moving. Uh glitch running from like shadow to shadow, like Naruto arms. Uh but at some point they reach a major thoroughfare, and you can tell that they have headed from where these bars are to a more affluent area of town neighboring a district that has uh mansions where the wealthier people on Dock Station Theta reside. And there they hail a rickshaw driver. Uh Tegan. Hmm. What does the rickshaw driver look like?

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Uh the rickshaw driver looks like a uh a fur bog uh that's very, very bullish up top. Um but he's got just like the the biggest doughy eyes, uh, but like massive Texas longhorn horns.

SPEAKER_08 8:43

Okay. I will say you did miss your best opportunity to put centaurs in the game. Oh, but it's too late. It's a really bullish, uh it's a really br uh bullish. So, uh when they hail the rickshaw driver, they now they're they're unaware of your presence, right? So you did manage to successfully uh follow them this far without being seen. What do you do to keep up with them or impede them? Or what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Uh does this thoroughfare have uh like other rickshaw drivers? Is this like uh where there's like a cab stand almost?

SPEAKER_08 9:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Uh I want to hail down another rickshaw. Okay. Uh and then I want to like put a handful of gold in their in their hands and be like, follow that rickshaw.

SPEAKER_08 9:33

Okay. So uh Garrett, if you're talking.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 9:39

Oh, it's just your videos desync, that's what it is. So it looked like you were still talking for a while.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Stop looking into my beautiful eyes. I listen to the sultone, dulcet tones of my voice.

SPEAKER_08 9:51

I literally can't stop looking into your eyes, Garrett.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

So blessing and a curse.

SPEAKER_08 9:55

You guys hop in to this other rickshaw. Uh, do all of you hop in or does anyone do something else?

SPEAKER_03 10:03

Uh is it even big enough for me?

SPEAKER_08 10:07

Because I don't want to have separate roles for different kinds of rickshaws. Um I will say that you can stand on like the back of the rickshaw, like you know, your your paws on like two little uh stands.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

I gotcha, I gotcha.

SPEAKER_07 10:22

Tell the rickshaw driver you're peddling for now.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

It's like uh it's like uh when you could used to be able to stand on the pegs of the back of your friend's bike.

SPEAKER_08 10:33

Yeah, yeah. So when you get on the rickshaw, the the drivers give like I give like almost like you know, whenever you're pushing a shopping cart, like everyone's done it at least once in their life, right?

SPEAKER_03 10:46

And you have your one foot on the bottom bar and you kind of like kick off with the other one and just ride it a little bit.

SPEAKER_08 10:53

Oh nice. So every once in a while their feet are gonna come off the ground when you kick and they're like scrambling.

unknown 11:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Uh and and this this rickshaw driver is another fur bulk, but it's the exact opposite where they're they're very human up top and very, very bovine on the bottom half of their body.

SPEAKER_08 11:11

Oh, that's good. They need it.

SPEAKER_07 11:16

Is there any chance that our razor scooters can keep up with rickshaws? I mean, rickshaws aren't that fast typically.

SPEAKER_08 11:23

Um I mean, normally they're not, but these rickshaws all have afterburners.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

We got afterburners.

SPEAKER_08 11:30

Alright. No, I you could you could ride a razor scooter. It would be more conspicuous to be on a razor scooter than it would be to be in a rickshaw out here.

SPEAKER_07 11:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 11:42

You want a razor scooter. I know you're looking for every opportunity to to razor scooter around. You want a razor scooter or you want to get on the rickshaw?

SPEAKER_07 11:51

No, I'll go on the rickshaw.

SPEAKER_08 11:52

Okay. You you pull out your razor scooter, and then you like slowly put it away, like kind of dejecting as you get into the the rickshaw.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I'll have ample opportunity to like ghost ride off the rickshaws on our razor scooters. That'll be great.

SPEAKER_08 12:07

Uh holding on to that was a ridiculous aside. So you guys hop into the into the rickshaw, and I'll let that that stealth check ride. So you all follow them, uh, now that they're confident that they've lost their tail, into the more affluent part of the city, and they ride up to a gated mansion.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Say dated? Gated.

SPEAKER_08 12:41

With a gate with it with a gate gated, okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

I thought you said dated, like it was old and not like exactly it's a it's a mated mansion. It's got another mansion that's a duplex mansion.

SPEAKER_08 12:54

Two mansions love each other very much.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Um they have a garage.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Is it dated as in built in another era or dilapidated in that it's a little fallen apart?

SPEAKER_08 13:07

So it is dated, but it's gated, so it has a so it has a gate. It has it has a gate.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

How much alliteration?

SPEAKER_08 13:16

But it also is dated, that's true. It is dilapidated, it does look rundown. And it's mated in that it's a duplex mansion with the garage. And it's faded in that it's a part of the story.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

If I check the local like real estate app, how's it rated?

SPEAKER_08 13:35

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 13:40

And uh real estate agents hate it because of one weird trick. One weird trick.

SPEAKER_08 13:48

So we need to get back to the belated session.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Uh where all of our puns are sated. Oh no! There we go.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

That's a good one, it rounds it out.

SPEAKER_08 13:58

Uh I'm feeling pretty jaded at this point. But that one was a slant rhyme. We're slanting now.

SPEAKER_07 14:05

You know what the cure for that is, right? Cheese. Rated.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

Uh all right, it's getting forced now.

SPEAKER_07 14:13

I hate it. All right. Everyone listening, go ahead and rate. Stop. Stop listening now.

SPEAKER_08 14:20

Like uh put your favorite pun that we just did in the comments below. Cool. So, yes, it is dilapidated. There is a gate around it. Uh, they they pull up, the rickshaw driver like lets them out. You can see their rickshaw driver, even from a distance, is looking at the mansion like with a you want to be dropped off here? Uh and I'm guessing you guys, when you see them like slow down and stop, you have your rickshaw driver stop some distance away.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Yeah, just like go past another like block or so and then let us off around the corner.

SPEAKER_08 15:01

Okay. So, while most of these estates in this richer part of town uh are well lit. This one, you know, being it looks abandoned, uh, is unlit. And so it's dark here on this like stretch of road. But the rickshaw driver lets them out with some you know confusion and trepidation, but then turns around and rides off. And your rickshaw driver also drops you off. And he's gonna turn around and be like, Good luck with the robbery! And uh don't forget to rate me five stars. And then he's gonna then run off himself.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Very discreet, uh Wood Rickshaw again? A plus kind to criminals.

SPEAKER_07 15:48

I uh especially appreciated the understated decor.

SPEAKER_08 15:53

It uh it had tassels. There were little tassels hanging from the mechanically. Uh a little pine tree. Like a scented pine tree hanging down. Alright, so you guys are around the corner, and you see them open the gate, and they go in, the grass is overgrown, it's um as dark as it gets out here, again, that like mottled purple lighting uh shimmering over everything. And they uh you see them head into the unlit mansion. Hey gang.

SPEAKER_07 16:26

Yes, cool. Could you remind me again why what what the hell is it we're supposed to learn about Allen wrench?

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Uh we're getting paid to shadow a phalion, and we figured out that Allen is a phalion, so we just need to know what they're up to. Uh, so that Lamp Weasel can fix the transponder for us. That's the favor we're doing for him, since he normally requires a whole lot of money that we don't have.

SPEAKER_07 16:53

Okay. So just Alright, just follow them for okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Yeah, we want to figure out what they're doing.

SPEAKER_07 16:59

Okay. So we have to go inside the mansion, or do we just wait here?

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Well, it's gonna be hard to actually see what they're doing unless we go in, so I think the easiest way to do this is I can give someone a boost to be able to walk on walls or ceilings and getting the rest of us in is gonna be the questionable part.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

I was just gonna have Tabby throw us.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Well, if you insist, I mean excited about it. I'd I'd call the plan idiot proof, but it just keeps evolving.

SPEAKER_07 17:36

Is there a uh tall-ish building nearby?

SPEAKER_08 17:40

No. Because these are meant to be like fancy rich people houses, they're uh spaced far apart.

SPEAKER_07 17:47

Trees?

SPEAKER_08 17:49

There are definitely trees. The trees don't you know, it's a giant dock station, right? So all of the fauna, flora, fauna and flora, uh are have been like implanted imported. Implanted and imported. And all of the trees around this area are exotic, you know, trees from all over the Imperium. And so you can find trees uh of of every sort in people's yards, and then in this like particularly overgrown area where it like hasn't been upkept, it's almost jungle-like in the weird uh trees and grasses that are growing here. So something that looks like a palm tree, but is uh humming music is nearby. Uh there's something that looks like an oak, but the top half of it looks like a screaming man. There's you know some kind of simia-like creature like swinging through the trees. Uh, but it like if you look at it closely, um it looks like its body's made of glass. All kinds of weird things are in this abandoned mansion.

SPEAKER_07 18:59

I noticed that there's a uh a gangrish uh fairy apple tree nearby. Uh climb up that tree.

SPEAKER_08 19:07

Okay. As you do, you hear in your mind the apples saying, Eat me. Take take bite, pull pull me off and and bite me. So good. Anyway, you climb the tree.

SPEAKER_07 19:22

Um can I get a sense uh of the layout of the grounds? Is it fenced? Are there uh garages or servants entrances or anything like that that's visible from uh my vantage point?

SPEAKER_08 19:34

So yes to the fence, uh yes to service entrances. Like you see side doors, you see uh balconies with doors. It didn't look like this place was ever it didn't look like this place was designed to keep people out. Uh Did you ask anything else? I got side doors.

SPEAKER_07 19:56

Um there was a fence. Garages or anything like that. Ah sure, there'd be a garage. Okay. Any security systems that I can see? No. Okay. Not that you can see. I will hop back down. Okay, gang. There's uh a side entrance that leads to uh what looks like a servants, uh like a side entrance in the fence that leads to what looks like a service entrance. I think that's probably our best bet for getting Tabitha in without being obviously spotted. They're more likely to be watching the front door than the side door.

SPEAKER_08 20:31

I'm gonna spend a fear. I need you to give me a presence reaction roll with disadvantage.

SPEAKER_07 20:36

Well, fine then. Uh with disadvantage. Um the devil. Okay. Uh clear stress. Uh did you say, was it a reaction roll?

SPEAKER_08 20:54

It is a reaction roll. I know. But you did succeed.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

I mean, he rolled triple sixes.

SPEAKER_08 21:02

He succeeded. All right, well, unless triple sixes should be an automatic fail. Like that's how you want to do that. No, no, no, no, we don't need to go there.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

He shouldn't just succeed. He should ex succeed exceptionally well.

SPEAKER_08 21:17

Okay. So what I was gonna I was gonna do it. I have a thing. There's gonna be it's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_06 21:23

Okay. Trust me.

SPEAKER_08 21:25

So you come down, you give this whole uh you know, talking about the layout, and as you're gesturing with your hand, you you strike me as a gesturer. Uh as you're gesturing, you realize in your hand was one of the apples. Um because you you succeeded in the role so well, I will let you drop the apple.

SPEAKER_07 21:46

Um yeah. I'm gonna toss the apple toward just inside the front gate.

SPEAKER_08 21:53

Okay. As you toss it, it goes, no.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Oh my vitamins.

SPEAKER_07 22:03

Those damn siren apples. You don't want to eat those.

SPEAKER_08 22:07

You'll never know what would have happened if you had failed that roll.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Uh how how high is this uh the little fence that's gating this house?

SPEAKER_08 22:18

It's about ten feet tall. And it does have the like you know spikes at the top. It doesn't look like it would be difficult to get over. They're 50% decorative.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 22:28

But you could definitely like catch a pant leg on them if you weren't careful.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

Yeah, I'm j I'm just gonna ask uh Tab, hey uh uh Big Mama, can you just like alley ope me up over that fence?

SPEAKER_03 22:38

Yeah, sure thing.

SPEAKER_07 22:40

Side side entrance.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Yeah, that's where we'll go after. Okay, well we can go to the side entrance and then I can get alley oped. Look, I just like being held, okay? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

I can I can also just do that. And I I scoop up Tegan and Princess Carry him.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Stress visibly leaves my body.

SPEAKER_08 23:01

Alright, so you guys go around to the side and then Tabitha, do you gently set everyone over the fence?

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 23:09

They didn't think about giants when they built the fence around this place.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Yeah. Love you, Tabitha, but I'm actually going to cast walk-walk on myself. You'll hear a vibe. Can't really see anything because I'm so covered up, but you will hear sort of a very faint essentia vibration, and suddenly I am able to walk on walls and ceilings until the end of this scene.

SPEAKER_08 23:34

Brad. What does it look like when you uh climb the fence using this?

SPEAKER_02 23:40

It looks absolutely bizarre. I walk up at as though I'm walking normally, and it's as though the fence has turned into the floor, and I'm simply walking completely parallel to it, even though my cloak is hanging backwards. When I hit the top, I crouch. I have minor illusion prepared to go should we need an additional distraction, but I do a little hop to get to the other side of the railing at the top and then walk on down facing the ground.

SPEAKER_08 24:11

So you do like a full Jarrett from labyrinth?

SPEAKER_02 24:14

I was just thinking the same thing! Exactly.

SPEAKER_08 24:17

Yeah. Okay. Um just because your love can be so cruel. Okay, so you uh walk around uh in a disturbing to watch fashion. Tabitha, how do you get over the fence?

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Um I just kind of like put my hands on top of it and like do like a almost like a gymnast move where I like swing my bottom half up and over like a like.

SPEAKER_08 24:50

Can you give me a strength check? Okay. I guess. Well, that's right. One sec. I wish you had failed that apple roll. I'm like legitimately upset. Okay. Get that hope, and you make it over the fence without any problem. Alright, so you guys are on the other side of the fence, you're facing uh a side door of the building. There is no uh there's nothing indicating, you know, motion or anything inside the mansion, which you know it's a large mansion, but you don't see lights on or anything.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

We stealthily make our way up to that door.

SPEAKER_08 25:34

Alright. Door achieved. Again, uh the only thing that you hear is as you guys are crossing the yard, you know, even being stealthily, that there are animals in the trees that are like moving about or watching you. And at some point, like a plant is going to actually, yeah. Can I get a reaction roll from you, Tegan? Um we're gonna make an agility.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Oh, an agility reaction roll. I love that. Could be a 21.

SPEAKER_08 26:06

Dang! So agile. So a a a plant with human teeth is going to try to uh bite your sidearm out of its holster.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Oh, my my lasso?

SPEAKER_08 26:20

No, don't you have a pistol?

SPEAKER_00 26:21

I don't. I was gonna buy one of those later, but I haven't done that yet. No, I've got a I've got uh my lasso and I've got a little carbine.

SPEAKER_08 26:28

Okay. So yeah, it's gonna try to grab your carbine then.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

No, no, no, little one. And I like put the shush lips to its teeth. I'm like, shh.

SPEAKER_08 26:37

And uh you sense a strange like malevolence from this teeth plant where like it sensed it wasn't just trying to bite something random that happened to be your carbine, like it was going for your gun.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Yeah, and I'll uh I'll use my uh uh whatever intuition I get from being a ranger, and I'll be like, no, that's not yours. You leave that alone now. Stop it.

SPEAKER_08 27:00

When you when you shush it though, it does shy a little bit. Like, you know, it's it's met its match.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Okay, you're beautiful. And I like pet the top of its little head and they keep going.

SPEAKER_08 27:09

Uh it purrs and then it turns back around, and you see that it was in the middle of uh eating uh another animal.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

But uh Truly nature is wonderful.

SPEAKER_08 27:21

Guys get to this side door. Uh, I'm guessing that somebody's gonna try to pick this lock on this door.

SPEAKER_07 27:29

Um I'm gonna check to see if it's locked first. Ooh, it is. Then yes, I will pick the lock. That's a finesse roll, right? It is. And I have an advantage because I can pick and pull. 19 with hope. You pick the lock.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

All these good rolls out right now. Like we're later on, like one of us is gonna be like lying in a pool of blood and be like, oh, you remember when we got the you know the door open? And you remember when we shushed a plant? That was good times.

SPEAKER_08 28:07

I tried the apple. Yep. I tried the teeth plant, and now you did so good picking the lock that when you go to open the door, you can tell that uh objects have been set against the door to intentionally clatter when the door is opened, and you like feel the weight, and so you you know reach your hand in and like you know brace them as you open the door so that they don't make any noise.

SPEAKER_07 28:31

Man, I'm good at what I do.

SPEAKER_08 28:33

Yeah, you sure are, you son of a bitch. Alright, so you go into well, you open the door. What do you guys do now?

SPEAKER_00 28:45

Go inside. I'd like to go inside. I'd like to take a quick listen and see if we can determine if anybody's in our close vicinity.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Yeah, are lights on equally? Are we seeing hallways? What what are we seeing as we enter through the is this the back door or the front door?

SPEAKER_08 29:03

Side door.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

The side door. Are we in a room?

SPEAKER_08 29:07

Are you requesting that the GM describe a scene for you? Uh no, I'm joking, I should have done that. Uh so you open the door, you look in, it's darker in here, there's no lights on, you are in what looks sort of like a a mud room or a staging room, where there uh are like it's like a big empty room with places to like put laundry or boxes. Um you see that there are like cleaning supplies in one corner and uh places to like put shoes and clothes, and then a big wash basin. It looks like, with the exception of whoever set this you know trap here, that no one's been in or used this room for a long time. So there's like a cut through the dust where footprints came in recently, but then everything else is just in disrepair and and you know, a quarter inch of dust. Then there is a door on the far side of this room that is uh slightly ajar, and you can see that it goes to a dark hallway. And then Tegan, you said you wanted to listen out?

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Yeah. Just take a listen, see if there's anybody or anything moving nearby or having whispered conversations, or anything we could use to kind of figure out where the people are in the house uh from our current place.

SPEAKER_08 30:24

I got you. Um I'm gonna say that the DC is pretty high for this, given that you're trying to listen in a mansion that's mostly abandoned.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

So Okay. Uh what would you like me to roll for that? Instinct?

SPEAKER_08 30:40

Instinct. Yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Um, let me see if I've got anything that can help me out with this.

SPEAKER_08 30:47

What does this sexy ranger power do?

SPEAKER_00 30:49

I am nothing I've currently got that's not really, no. Okay, we'll give it a shot. Oh, that's a four with hope.

SPEAKER_08 31:02

Well, you can get that hope. Oof. But it is, to your ear, silent in the mansion.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Nobody's home. We got the wrong house.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

We literally watched them walk inside.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Yeah, that must have been an illusion.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

I'm gonna turn to you, Tegan, and say, I feel like this is how people die in those cautionary station posters we have in the break room. Let me try this. And I'm gonna try and slip into the dark hallway, and rather than walking directly on the wall, spider scurry up it and onto the ceiling and see if I can move forward a bit and hear anything.

SPEAKER_08 31:37

Gross. So you climb along the ceiling of the hallway for a bit, and uh finally you do get some distance in where you hear uh voices. Do you approach so that you can make them out more clearly?

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Uh and by approach, do you mean am I making an instinct roll? Uh or am I uh yes, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep edging a little bit closer.

SPEAKER_08 32:06

So uh you get close enough to hear one of the voices go, uh, I mean, how do you know he has it? And then the voice of the golden uh-eyed woman is gonna say, uh, these people were very, very easy to read. We do need to move quickly, though. And he's like, Well, I mean, is it like take a nap and go now? Kind of urgent? And he's like, Yes. Lay down, take a nap, sleep off your drinks, but we're gonna move in uh hopefully no more than four hours. He's like, Oh god, it's gonna be a rough day tomorrow. And then uh another voice is like, oh my god, my head hurts already. What do they put in those clam bucket bombers? And then I'm gonna spend uh fear. And can I get you to make a finess roll glitch with disadvantage?

SPEAKER_02 33:04

Why baby? That is gonna be a 19 with hope. 19 with fear.

SPEAKER_08 33:13

Yes. So I will get my fear back, but uh so as you're like edging closer to listen, your foot like bumps up against a uh light fixture that is so like old and loose that it drops, but you like notice it dropping and catch it before it can like hit the ground. Okay. And then do you stuff it in your pocket or like hold it between your teeth?

SPEAKER_02 33:40

I'm gonna hold it between my teeth and slowly begin to spider crawl upside down backward. Back dusty hall.

SPEAKER_08 33:49

Nothing weird or gross about that.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

Nope, nothing totally creepy or uh exorcist looking like that whatsoever.

SPEAKER_08 33:58

Okay. So if you wanted to, you could try to sneak even closer to like actually see into the room.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Um and this hallway is dark.

SPEAKER_08 34:06

It is. And there's no consequences getting closer.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

I am gonna try and ease, or I am going to ease down the hall so that I can very as gently as possible place this light fixture that I am carrying on the ground and then uh ease back up and try to push my luck and squeeze just a little bit closer.

SPEAKER_08 34:34

Nice. Okay, so you can see that they are in a large sort of interior. Uh, what would this room be called, right? So there's like a foyer, and then there's like a big, not a sitting room, entrance hall, a salon, a salon, a salon, yeah, and so a large salon that uh has been repurposed. So there's like uh shelves of uh library books. Uh this room, you can tell like they've well lit, and there are uh papers strewn about all over the floor, uh, maps on the walls, on tables, weird gadgets, and you can tell like some of them are uh navigation focused, and also a very large crystal of Essentia that's like on a table sitting on a strange dias that's like designed to hold it. But you don't know that you've ever seen a chunk of Essentia this large before that wasn't in a faster-than-reality drive. Like this, it's almost like Essentia core-sized just sitting out. And that's also potentially dangerous, right? So Essentia uh resonates with magic, and so having it out like this could potentially you know be hazardous should like too much magic happen near nearby.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Uh given my personal relationship with Essentia, where it actually powers my augments, I'm going to be equal parts feeling fear and also desire at the sight of this chunk of basically pure crack cocaine to me that is sitting on the table over there. But also realizing that um any sort of essentia-powered moves I might make right now could trigger it. And so I am trying to stay very, very still.

SPEAKER_08 36:34

You would also note that this much essentia would trade for a chest of gold on the black market. So it's hard to overstate the value. So you you Google this, the rest of the group. You guys are back hanging out downtown by yourselves, you have too much time just thinking about yourselves. Uh, what are you guys doing back in the mud room?

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Egan's kind of taking up a place where he's looking down the hallway, waiting for glitch to to give us a sign, or maybe like a bird call, or whatever our team uses to communicate that it'd be all clear.

SPEAKER_08 37:09

Uh so she's turned a couple of corners, you can no longer see her from the mud room.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

Yeah, definitely waiting on that bird call.

SPEAKER_08 37:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 37:17

Uh I'm gonna take a closer look at everything in the room.

SPEAKER_08 37:20

Okay. There uh are uh boots and clothes. You could tell that there was like a gardening team that used to work here. Whoever built this very eccentric garden. Uh it was eccentric even as far as a place with eccentric gardens go. And so it looks like there were like four distinct gardeners.

SPEAKER_07 37:40

Ooh. And are there any seeds?

SPEAKER_08 37:43

Uh sure.

SPEAKER_07 37:44

Okay. I grab all of the seed packets that I can.

SPEAKER_08 37:49

Okay. Um, some of them are in like languages you don't understand, but they have like skulls and crossbones, and you know, some uh Empyrean-wide symbol for danger. Uh what what, Kuala, what is the uh Empyrean-wide symbol for danger look like?

SPEAKER_07 38:08

Um the foot of a colossus stomping on uh a creature, and the creature changes depending on the cultural context.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

It's just a got a person squished underneath of a giant foot.

SPEAKER_08 38:22

I'm picturing like a little stick figure, like, uh with a giant foot over top.

SPEAKER_07 38:26

About to come down. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 38:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 38:28

And actually, uh, it's well known that the closer the foot is to the creature, the more danger. So, like if the foot, if the creature looks like it could get out from underneath it, that's like caution. If the creature is like squished like viscera speaking out, that's like you're already dead.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

Uh if it's it's like face is pressed between two toes and it's like no one can save you.

SPEAKER_07 38:53

Yeah, you've already received a lethal dose of radiation or something, you know.

SPEAKER_08 38:57

Okay. Alright, so you you see a variety of uh these warning symbols on the packets of seeds, but yeah, you go ahead and and put packets of dangerous seeds on your uh character sheet.

unknown 39:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 39:12

Alright. Tabitha, did you say what you're doing?

SPEAKER_03 39:15

I have not. Um I am going to be still on all fours and stuff, because I I'm still kind of like secret mode. Uh, but I'm gonna be like pacing, and like the tip of my tail is gonna be like twitching and stuff, and like you'll see my ears also like twitching, just trying to like pick up sound and just being like very alert. My pupils are large.

SPEAKER_08 39:40

So because you're as large as you are, uh, whenever you do like your little lap around the room, you're basically like smushing Tegan and Koala against the walls. Or like when your tail flicks, you like tweak Tegan's nose, like you like whip him up the face.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

I do the thing that like uh cats do that, like when they walk near your ankles, they like intentionally rub their tail along your leg. Like I so like my tail twitching and them like flicking them isn't like entirely on accident, but it's more like an instinctual, like, oh, this is like friend or family or kind of thing, and I'm just like almost like a comforting thing. Like I just like rub my tail on them as I pass them.

SPEAKER_08 40:31

Okay. Well, comforting for one of you. Cool. All right, back to glitch. You are uh upside down, you can see into the room. All right, I'm um I'm gonna I'm gonna ask, I'm I'm gonna let you ask one question about what you see, and then I'm gonna have you make another stealth roll.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Do I see them settling down to rest in that room, or does it look like they're they're planning to split up elsewhere into the house?

SPEAKER_08 41:11

Uh you can see that they have sleeping bags in the room. Okay. Uh I'm gonna let you ask one more question, because that was that was uh that was a softball. Give give me give me a good one, give me a real one.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Uh is there a fireplace and chimney in the room?

SPEAKER_08 41:31

Yes. Uh with a uh uh medium fire in it right now, but this fireplace is large. Um like large enough to like cook uh an animal inside of. Like it's a big fireplace. Um and for even from where you are, you can feel like warmth coming from it. Uh so you know, the some of the light in the room is coming from the flickering fireplace. Uh but with that, I'm gonna need another finesse roll, and I'm gonna spend fear again to give you disadvantage. Again.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

And that would be a crit.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

So stealthy, you don't know what you're gonna do about it.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Uh I'll just say it for you, you hate me, I got it.

SPEAKER_08 42:24

They got so drunk, they got so drunk at the bar. Like, one of them's like got the because of the clay bucket bombers, they're just like bent over, and you can hear the gurgle from the like the the from the doorway, or something's like, oh, it's not good. Oh but uh wait when we edit this episode, can we add a gurgle? Like a like a stomach, like you get it. Yeah. Or just do that. Do that on loop. Do that again on loop?

SPEAKER_03 42:56

No, I'm not going to.

SPEAKER_07 43:01

Don't forget to uh clear stress and get hope.

SPEAKER_08 43:04

Oh yeah, clear stress and whatever, who cares? So you uh so I I mean, you know, you can make it a hat trick, right? Get get three successful uh rolls. You could go and and peek you know, peer further into the room get more information, glitch.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

I could I could do that.

SPEAKER_08 43:27

Um you're rolling hot. Like what are the odds you'll fail this third roll?

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Real good. High real high.

SPEAKER_08 43:37

Virtually none.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Um and and glitch is I'm so torn right now with the idea of moving forward because I can see that this is such a great opportunity, but I also know that being able to utilize the crew might actually make this more efficient and possibly more successful. And then I remember how noisy and unpredictable they are, and I decide to push my luck just a little bit further.

SPEAKER_06 44:10

Yes!

SPEAKER_02 44:11

Because I love you this much.

SPEAKER_08 44:15

Okay. So I'm gonna I'm gonna let you you so you're gonna get three questions that you can ask me from what you see. Uh and I and I will uh answer them truthfully from you know the stuff that you could make out from the doorway. Um but so while giving you some some time to think about those three questions, I'm gonna go back to the to the group. Uh what are you guys doing? You still don't hear anything from glitch. And uh, you know, it's been probably you know 15, 20 minutes now at this point uh in game time. Uh so no sounds of scuffling, right? But uh but no no bird calls or or whatever. So uh are you doing anything different?

SPEAKER_00 44:55

I mean, is there a do we think she's dead? Uh no, I don't think she's dead. Uh is there anything else in this room as far as like exits or anything like that? Nope. Um if I take a peer down the hallway, are how many other are there any other rooms that are kind of coming off the hallway? And I saw glitch you know come around one of them.

SPEAKER_08 45:16

Uh yes, there are several doors.

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Uh I would like to go just ever so slightly down the hallway and just kind of peek in any of these doors that are open.

SPEAKER_08 45:26

Uh none of them are open.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

Do any of them have uh windows in set into them so I could look through? No. Dang. Okay. Uh I'm also just trying to make sure I've got a map of like how to get out of here quick. That's what Tegan's mind is on.

SPEAKER_08 45:41

So uh I mean, out the way you came.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

Yeah, no, that's currently the the best one, the the best the best route so far. So uh yeah, barring that, that's all I'm doing is just trying to make sure we've got an escape route.

SPEAKER_07 45:54

So um when Teagan turns to start walking back to the mud room, um he notices that uh Qualo somehow got past him and is picking the lock on one of the doors that he was trying to listen at.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

God dang it.

SPEAKER_08 46:09

Fantastic. Um and I will say that you do so pretty effortlessly, uh, because the interior locks just you know, they're they're the little like twist uh twist key locks. But uh so you like stick your thumbnail in and like turn it like that. But um when you open the door to the room, uh the the first room that you guys come to is a large pantry. Uh and it definitely has seen better days. Uh and like definitely when you open it, several creatures, some disturbingly large, uh scurry into the darkness or various holes and you hear like scraping or whatever. Uh and including uh one like childlike laughter. And so anything that like wasn't sealed inside like a metal container has has been picked clean at this point. But there's like a whole ecosystem that has sprung up around the pantry.

SPEAKER_07 47:03

Um if there are metal containers, like you know, can size or slightly bigger. Uh actually big is fine. Um of anything that I think would probably have spoiled by now, I pick that up and bring it back with me.

SPEAKER_08 47:19

Okay. Uh Tabitha, what is uh uh a weird alien fruit? Can you describe an alien fruit to us?

SPEAKER_03 47:28

Sure. Uh it's going to be about the size of a bowling ball. Um it's gonna have like lumpy shape, but like in a regular way, it's not like a random lumpiness. Uh and it's going to have a weird fuzz that and like the fuzz comes off if you rub it too uh vigorously, kind of like uh the little spiky things on strawberries. Uh but then the skin underneath is slimy.

SPEAKER_08 48:01

So gross. Okay, and and uh what are they called?

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Uh I don't know. Um, and they're they're they're also gonna be like a green color. Um I didn't I realize I didn't describe your color. Uh so let's call them fuzznuts.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

Known across the empyranion as fuzznut the treat that's hard to beat.

SPEAKER_07 48:36

Nothing quite like fuzz nut soup. Just like grandma used to make it.

SPEAKER_08 48:42

You have a large can of spoiled fuzz nuts. Okay. Fantastic. All right. So Glitch, have you had a chance? Have you had a chance to think of your three questions?

SPEAKER_02 48:57

I have.

SPEAKER_08 48:58

Okay. Are any of them related to fuzz nuts?

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Yes. All of them.

SPEAKER_08 49:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

So what is the level of awareness and the focus of the people in the room right now? Are they looking at each other? Are they crashed out? Are they in a fake nap, real crossbow posture? Are they focused on the table with the gear or are they focused on each other?

SPEAKER_08 49:28

Alan and Rinch are getting into their sleeping bags, and they look rough from the night of drinking. But the golden-eyed woman is standing behind the desk, uh, and she is laser focused, uh, poring over maps. And she again has several strange navigation tools that you have not seen, and some of which look ancient in their construction, like made of you know old-looking materials, and she's doing something with these maps and muttering to herself as she like makes measurements. But the the level of uh uh awareness that somebody might come in seems low, but she seems totally alert.

SPEAKER_02 50:09

Okay. Um, how secure are the items? Are they boxed up? Are they just sort of scattered there across the table with her maps?

SPEAKER_08 50:18

Uh scattered. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

Is there any area in the opposite direction where if a distraction were to occur, it's close range or farther that could get her attention?

SPEAKER_08 50:32

So this room is far across with a very large space. And so what is it? It's about close in either direction to where the table she has set up is. Okay. So if you were like in the the you know, far hallway or whatever, you'd be within close of her. Or you'd be like at the edge of close to her desk, which is how far you are now at the current hallway.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

Right. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out since I can create a minor illusion that's convincing to anyone at close range or farther if there's an area opposite of where I am or where she is that could draw her attention away.

SPEAKER_08 51:10

So uh triangulating, right? So you've got so she's within close, you know, say 45 degrees to your left, so 45 degrees to your right, which would be directly in front of her, uh, you could that would still be in close of you. Uh, but just out, or depending on where you put it, just out of close or in close with her. Uh so do you want it to be further than close?

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Uh it would need to be close or farther. So close would work.

SPEAKER_08 51:41

Yeah. So so basically, if you put it at the furthest you could, in the you know, the other at the other edge of your close range um in the room she's in, it would be just at the edge of close for her. So if she moved any closer, she'd be more than close.

SPEAKER_02 51:59

Um and is it a window? Is it a hallway, or is it just the other side of the room?

SPEAKER_08 52:04

Other side of the room. There are no windows facing. You know, I'll say there are windows at the very, very top of this room. So, you know, say the room is also far tall, and there are some windows at the very top designed to like funnel in light.

SPEAKER_02 52:17

Got it. All right. Oh, really should go back and get the group at this point.

SPEAKER_08 52:22

Well, you have one more question, I think. So alertness. Oh no, that was the three questions. Alertness, yeah. Where things were, and is there a point where you could put the illusion? Okay, I'm gonna have you make one last finesse roll, and I'm gonna spend a fear to give you disadvantage.

SPEAKER_00 52:40

He wants it so bad.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

No, and uh and I'm at this point, I'm basically trying to give it to him.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

It's in the dice's hands now.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Alright. Nine with hope.

SPEAKER_08 52:51

Get that hope! And uh, so you had been like you know, creeping forward, trying to get a better view. And what what do you do that gives you away? What do you what do you what do you do by accident that alerts her?

SPEAKER_02 53:05

Um, as I am in my creepy exorcist spider position on the ceiling of the hallway, and I move forward, I'm gonna push out a leg to move myself across, but my heel is actually gonna scuff off the side of the wall. It'll be soft enough to not be big, but it will be noticeable enough to someone who is currently attentive.

SPEAKER_08 53:27

Okay. So you make that scrape sound.

SPEAKER_02 53:30

And my leg sort of dangles there for a second before I pull it back up.

SPEAKER_08 53:33

And you see, without like moving her body, that her golden eyes dart to the doorway. And with that, we're gonna end the session.

SPEAKER_06 53:41

Oh let's end it.

SPEAKER_02 53:47

Yes, I procrastinated long enough. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 53:51

You did, you did a good job. All right. So uh I want to give uh special thanks to Darrington Press for creating Daggerheart, the awesome game we're playing, and to our incredible fans. Don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, five stars, the whole thing. It's the number one way to help our show. Colossus of the Crux is part of the Witch Key March Universe. If you're interested in playing in any of the associated games, you can find them on startplaying.games. And we will see you next week. Next week.