S1B2 A Ball of Swords

In our second bonus episode, two of our unflappable crewmates learn the true meaning of friendship is the ball of swords you find along the way!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Uh, what is the most sapient thing that Tabitha would eat?

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hmm.

SPEAKER_04 0:06

It's like a sliding scale. Like, like speaking isn't necessarily a disqualifier, right? Obviously.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

But if you can talk, you've got to be really tasty.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

It's like, it's basically like if the more removed from herself you like from her people that you look, the more likely she is to be like, oh, I wonder if that's food.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Okay, hear the music. Presented by the Witch King March. Ivy and your GM joining me in this special bonus episode R.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

Hi, I'm Audra, and I play Tapitha, the ship's quartermaster.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Hey, I'm Eugene, and I play Qualo, the ship's officer uh science.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

He plays the ship's science. The officer of science.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I believe it's science officer. And on this very special episode of Colossus of the Crux, Tabitha and Qualo learn about the true value of friendship.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

We find Tabitha in the Ryzen's Bay holding a clipboard and checking the ship's stores. Tabitha, can you open the scene for us? What does the Rising's Bay look like and what is the state of the ship's stores?

SPEAKER_04 2:11

Uh okay, so the bay is a little jumbled. Tabitha is unfortunately a bit of a hoarder. Not suit not to like crazy levels, but you know, she finds unique items every now and then, and she's just like, huh, interesting. Maybe they'll come in handy later. And so she packs it away like a little squirrel, you know, for the one off chance that her or someone on the crew might need it. But she does try to keep it at least somewhat orderly, so like, you know, like things with like things, that kind of stuff. So like she's got shelves that are absolutely covered with stuff, like buckets with various things, like dicks or things sticking out of them. There's like a path around like some of the boxes and things that are full of like scrap that they're like intending to uh sell uh or like recycle or whatever. And then yeah, like a shelf might have a label on it that's like metal objects, and it's just a random assortment of metal things. So there's like a loose organization, but at a first glance, you're just like, wow, this is a giant mess.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Okay. And as you're scanning these racks, specifically the metal objects, you see on the ground next to one of them is the giant ball of swords.

SPEAKER_04 3:27

Probably her most exciting find, in her opinion, just from the like killing potential that it has.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

And now as you're looking at it under the light of the bay, it looks different than when you saw it at the Boston Found. You can see looking at it now that there are seams on the interior sphere of the ball of swords.

SPEAKER_04 3:52

Can I like pry it apart?

SPEAKER_02 3:54

You can definitely try.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

Strength roll?

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Um, yes.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

Okay, I rolled a 19 with hope. Um so she's gonna like do the cat thing where her like she flexes her fingers and her claws come out longer.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

And she's gonna take- partially painted.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Yes. She's going to very carefully interlace her claws together into the seam uh so that she has like nice equal gripping strength, right? And then try to just literally tear it open by like getting her her claws into that.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Okay, so you do indeed get your claws into the seam and you start to pull, and for a split second, it feels like it does start to give, and then you are inundated with the most intense shrill you have ever heard. A piercing screech starts to come from the orb and it fills the bay, causing the walls to reverberate.

SPEAKER_04 5:02

Um I guess I just instantly stop and like clap my uh hands to my ears. Oh god, what was that?

SPEAKER_02 5:14

So somewhere else on the ship, what is Qualo doing aboard the Ryzen right now?

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Qualo is on the bridge feeding the Hollow Suite.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

So when Koalo does this, Josephine hates to watch, and so she will have gone down into her tank beneath the bridge. What does it look like when Qualo feeds the Hollow Suite?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

So it's an open pool, the three-foot radius open pool, and normally you do not see these, but there are tiny little beak mouths, not entirely unlike octopi or barnacle beaks, that kind of a thing, that come out, and you take little fish flake food, or little, you know, sea life food, and you sprinkle it into the water, and as it comes down, uh the little beaks come out and they open, and they have tiny little tentacles that snake out and stick to the flakes and then pull them into little beaks, and they just eat them and then they kind of fold back in and go away.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Uh, truly something that will haunt my nightmares.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

It's really meditative if you sit there and just enjoy the pageantry of life. No doubt, no doubt.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

You're feeding your table, uh, and it's giving what would be a low purr. It's causing the surface of the water to like vibrate, which you'd know as a sign that it's enjoying the feeding. But even from the opposite side of the ship, you hear the screech from the bay, and so does your table, which begins to shudder violently, like sloshing a lot of the water out of the pool, and uh the beaks like opening crying, uh, and it starts to make like all kinds of uh shapes. They're not really representative of anything outside the ship, it's just writhing in pain from the sound.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

I will turn off its lights, turn on its noise cancelling field, uh, which is its rest mode, and then uh run through the ship until I hear the screaming again.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Okay. In the bay, Tabitha, you realize that you're now on your knees holding your ears, and you start to come to as Qualo enters the bay.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

Ah, you uh you heard that, huh?

SPEAKER_00 7:22

The whole Flux and Sea Sky heard that.

SPEAKER_04 7:25

Yeah. I mean that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

I'm not sure the sea high sea sky has ears, but who knows? It heard it. What the hell was that?

SPEAKER_04 7:35

Uh it was my ball sores. I uh I realized that it could maybe open, and I was trying to pry it open, and as soon as I got like even just like a crack of it, uh it started making that noise. So I'm thinking about just like taking a hammer or something, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

I like the way you think. He hands her a hammer, like a regular hammer, yeah, and then steps away.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

So he does this, uh certainly, but Qualo will do so uh noting that he doesn't see the ball of swords around.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Tabitha. Is is the ball of swords in the room with us now?

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Oh, damn, that was good.

SPEAKER_04 8:27

Me still on my knees, I look in front of me with like my hands up, like kind of like where where did it go? It was right here! I have the claws in it. And I I start like frantically looking around to see if like maybe a roll or something.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

That's fantastic. Can I get an instinct reaction roll from you?

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

With fear. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

It's reaction.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

It is a reaction! 13. So you hear behind you very quietly, almost like wind chimes, if they were being dragged the floor. And it is quiet, but the tinkling is growing closer.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

I am going to whirl around. Is the ball of swords coming toward me or going toward the door?

SPEAKER_02 9:27

It's going toward you, and the ball of swords has unrolled so that it is now a centipede with swords for legs. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Um I am going to run behind Tabitha.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:49

So I'm going to crouch down. I've got my hands out like I'm ready to like try to catch it as it comes towards us.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Okay. I will let you make a strength roll or agility roll. I'll let you pick strength or agility to try to catch it because indeed it is going to leap into the air and try to drive two swords into your eyes.

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Okay. I've got 11 with hope.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

The good news is you've got a hope.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

Bad news is I no longer have eyes.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Uh, well, it didn't roll great for damage. So it is going to deal five damage to you. And indeed, you are vulnerable. You will not have gotten in like your eyes exactly, but you had to grab the swords to keep them from going into your eyes.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

And so it has cut both of your hands as if you had just grabbed two swords.

SPEAKER_04 10:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

So, how many uh points of HP is five damage?

SPEAKER_04 10:53

It should just be one.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Yeah, that that makes that makes sense. Alright, it is back to you guys.

SPEAKER_04 11:00

Well, if I already have it in my hands, I'm going to try to hold it still now that uh I have it. Okay. Since I have it upright.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Can you try to like stab it in the stomach or Tabitha says this calmly while holding the swords right up above her eyes?

SPEAKER_00 11:25

How much hope do you have, Tabitha?

SPEAKER_04 11:28

Uh two? Well uh three if you if if we're counting your trait that we get for free.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

I don't see why we wouldn't.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

Hell yeah. I got three.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

You want to collaborate?

SPEAKER_04 11:41

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Okay. So when she holds it up, I'm gonna quick look. Does it have any genitalia?

SPEAKER_01 11:52

No.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Does it have a cloaca?

SPEAKER_02 11:55

It looks like a strip of rolled-out tire that has uh rolled in such a way to like maximize the surface area so that all of the swords are now in one strip. So sort of like somebody took an orange and like right peeled the whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Does it have seams?

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Uh no, not anymore. The seams are now the sides of his body.

unknown 12:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

I will just hit it in the belly, I guess, with my streamistick. Since you guys are doing a tag team, you'll like scream a stick it, and then Tabitha, what are you doing as part of the tag team?

SPEAKER_04 12:24

I'm gonna maybe try to rip its little sword arms off that it tried to stab me with.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Okay. Alright, so give me you guys' rolls. And Tabitha, don't forget the mark broke.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

I rolled a 17 with hope.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

That beats my 12 with hope.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Okay. So 17 with a hope definitely succeeds. Go ahead and roll the damage follow.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Nine damage for me.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Okay. Nine damage and a successful grab from Tabitha. So you slide under this thing and whack it in its tummy? Question mark. While Tabitha, calmly, much more calmly than makes any sense, uh, prize apart the swords. And uh when this creature realizes that it's getting more than it's giving, the swords that are in your hand, Tabitha, will come out, sort of like a lizard letting go of its tail, and then it will begin to scurry away from you all, and I will spend the fear to have it find a duct, and then immediately like the swords fold flat under its body, and it shimmies into the duct. Like a snake? Like a snake. Over the intercom, you will hear Um Hello?

SPEAKER_03 13:49

I what guys, what the hell is going on?

SPEAKER_04 13:55

Uh we have a metal bug that uh escaped by clutches. We're gonna be in pursuit here soon.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

You immediately hear the hiss of the ship going into uh fail closed. So every uh porthole is sealing down, every door is locking.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Um I I just put us in emergency lockdown. If anything gets on the CPU, we'll they'll probably burn the ship. Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Yeah, good thinking. I'm sure this thing won't kill all of us.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

Well, I I'm gonna hide. Can someone tap on the glass when it's safe to come out?

SPEAKER_00 14:37

No worries. Lock up the bridge and close your blah blah.

unknown 14:43

My blah blah blah is already closed, Qualo.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Very good. Very good. That's uh Andromeda's maximal ancient orcish for air vents.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

Qualo, I know what it's Andromedus Ancient Orchish for. Alright, I'm I I'm going.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

It is quiet. What do you do? Is there a bloody trail?

SPEAKER_02 15:10

Ooh. Yes, there would be.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Would Tabitha fit in the vents?

SPEAKER_02 15:20

The question isn't so much could Tabitha get into the vents, is how much of her could you get back out of them?

SPEAKER_04 15:26

I'm guessing not much.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Okay. I am going to access the local data panel and see if I can find any information on what this creature might be.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Okay. So you do this search. Can I get a knowledge roll from you?

SPEAKER_00 15:47

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Knowledge is what I'm good at.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Twenty-two with fear.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Twenty-two with fear. So good roll. Uh, we'll take that fear. But with the twenty-two, you find that this is called a long bug. They're very rare in uh this part of the Imperium, certainly this close to the City of the Cross, as the CPA has done a good job of trying to push them back. And part of the reason why they're considered such a scourge is because they eat Amocula Oculus, the creature that you use as your sensory array.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Over someone's dead body at will. Tapitha, this thing is going for the bridge. We need to get there quick.

SPEAKER_04 16:30

Okay. I just take off running.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

I follow her.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Alright. You two make all haste. So you are charging through the ship, and you uh make it to the bridge, and it is quiet.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Okay. I seal off the door so that it can't exit. Uh I override the vent closure so that it's open. The Essential Drive flash shield that goes up when Josephine is in the dream state. I make sure that's up. Okay. Uh and then I check uh my hollow field and tell Tabitha to be ready. It's gonna come for this any minute now. This cannot die. It's irreplaceable. It's just completely irreplaceable. And I pet it affectionately.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

It rumbles under your finger.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

One of the little beaks comes out and I stroke it.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

So disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 17:24

Alright, uh well, do you know how long it's gonna take for it to get here, or just be like constant vigilance kind of deal?

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Well, there's an extra orbital sentient sword monster coming at us. I'm thinking vigilance is the thing.

SPEAKER_04 17:42

Alright, uh well, with that said, I'll get down and like in my little crouch ready for anything kind of mode, with like my ears twitching around, trying to pick up tiny sounds to alert me to its presence before it actually comes, so it doesn't like can't sneak up behind me or something.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

I'm gonna rig the vent so that if something comes through it, it will close and lock behind the creature.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Okay. Tabitha, you're in a crouch. Qualo, eyes golden, focused on the vents, your trap is set. And nothing. It's silence. First it's minutes, and then it seems to perhaps turn into hours. And you just sit.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

What do you do? doesn't like silences even at the best of times. His eyes dart back to the vent and then back to her, and he relaxes just a little bit, perhaps unwisely. I've been meaning to ask you something. On the third moon of the uh Genevieve quadrant, there is these uh cannavoid creatures, and don't be offended by this, but look a lot like you, except they're like giant dog pigs. And one of the things about them is that when they have a litter, only one of them survives the litter. Like they they become adults by killing all of their littermates.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

That sounds awful.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Did you kill your litter mates?

SPEAKER_04 19:15

No, no. We typically only have one at a time. Obviously, you know, there's outliers where people might have multiple children at once, but like we grow in like uh like family units, and you know, we we take care of each other, protect one another, got each other's backs, a lot of camaraderie going on. I have a little brother, actually. He's uh he's a bit younger than me. Like we weren't in the same lid or anything, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Um wait, what's a you have a sibling?

SPEAKER_04 19:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Like from the same parents?

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Poilo's facial expression is um he's kind of grossed out by the idea. Or more maybe perplexed. I don't know. It's it's just seems like a bizarre notion. The idea of being genetically related to people seems weird to him. So when you say a family, you mean there's just like a village of people, right?

SPEAKER_04 20:05

Well, we we travel around. We don't like really stay in one place for too long. So uh a village in heart, but like not in location.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

You're nomadic?

SPEAKER_04 20:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Why?

SPEAKER_04 20:17

Uh, if you haven't noticed, and Tabitha gestures at herself, we're rather large, and it takes a lot to feed us, we've kind of like naturally lean towards roaming around for food so that we don't like overtax one area for too long, and that's I don't know, that's just it's tradition. That's what we do. We go out and hunt the biggest, fiercest animals, and we eat them, and we move on and find the next biggest, fiercest animal and eat it.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

But but like where's your school?

SPEAKER_04 20:50

Uh what's that?

SPEAKER_00 20:55

You know what a school is.

SPEAKER_04 20:57

I don't. What?

SPEAKER_00 21:00

So it's a building, and you go to it. And there's lots of different types of buildings and lots of different types of schools, but you go to it with other people, roughly your age, and then the elders teach you stuff.

SPEAKER_04 21:13

You mean like when the elder lady tells us about our histories?

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Yeah, you can study history if you want. I always thought that was kind of boring, but yeah, some people like it. The the the historians and bards study history. But you can study physics, you can study sea sky mechanics, you can study engine lore. I spent most of my time studying everything, which people around the school would often get frustrated by, but uh I was just, you know, everything is so interesting that I just could never study any one thing for very long. I always wanted to move on to the next thing. There's always just a more interesting question right around the corner.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

Hmm. That's interesting. I don't know a lot of subjects you. just mentioned. But uh I mean no we we usually just kinda like the things that we were taught as kids was like how to kill and survive. Not a whole lot else, you know, like history and stuff. Like you know, like some of the great people of our past that have done like really cool stuff. That's what my people want is to like be remembered for the cool things that we've done. Uh but not any of like physics whatever that means.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Well it's dialectical physics. So physical models are pitted against each other until one wins and then that's the way the world is for a while. There's also discursive biology there's epistemological phenomenal archaeological studies of dorsal fins. That was a burgeoning field for a while. A little bit too straightforward for me but you know some people are more simple minded. I see I see um so like that was what your childhood was like you stayed indoors all day well you know the the commune had a lot of different biomes in it and so you know you were indoors if you wanted to be and and you were you could go to parks and you can go to machine shops. Um you can go underground if you like being underground. That was never really my jam but you know some people did. I kind of liked being around other people so I just sort of usually hung out with the crowd wherever the crowd went um I never had parents so I just kind of slept and ate with whoever I was close to when it was time to sleep and eat. You don't have parents? Where did you come from? I came from the commune the essential commune at the city of the crux surely you've heard of it. It's like famous. I mean I've heard of uh about it a bit from you uh and and and around town a little bit uh but like I mean like you just don't know who your parents are yeah so okay well look this is it's not embarrassing but it's uh it's weird right and I mean I know that's not typical I mean I know I'm a pretty normal guy but so at the commune when two people want to make an offspring there's a special ritual that they go into there's a ceremony an essentia infusion that they participate in no one who hasn't done the ritual knows what it is it's a closely guarded secret but an offspring is produced and it's a melding of the two people who participated in the ritual. There have been records of like three people participating in the ritual maybe even four that's fairly unusual very rare actually but you know not impossible and then after the ritual about three or four days later an offspring results. All I know is that one day a while back there was a very special event there were dozens of people there. There was the first chemist was a halfling and the first metaphysicist who was an elf but then there were also dozens of luminaries people from just about every known race and all over the city of the crux and the commune and there were ceremonies and as these things sometimes do they got well let's just say uh secrets were unlocked and then hidden away never to be spoken of again and a few days later I came out but no one at the ceremony had participated in the offspring ritual and so I shouldn't be here no one knows who my parents are and so the whole commune just decided to take care of me.

SPEAKER_04 25:38

So in a sense they're all my parents um well that's interesting I mean I guess it's not so different. I mean you're not nomadic and you go to school or whatever but I mean it's like one big happy family like my family like I I might not be directly related to some of the people in my group but you know we're family we all take care of each other.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Yeah no we're not we're not nomadic but some of us have a tradition of going on something called a turnaround where we sort of wander the Empyrean seeking our fortune you know so after my Nombu day where they called me Nassim Dasabi I I left and not long after that I met Tegan uh you and Glitch and you all uh joined me on my ship.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Wait, what? Your ship? So as you say wait what you both were having such a pleasant conversation that you didn't notice that the creature had somehow made it out of the vents and was now standing over the sensory array what do you do? I pounce on it I tackle it true well you can't both do it unless you have enough hope for another tag team roll I do in fact do you yep I started with two and I rolled hope.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Wow alright thrill me okay you have claws right I sure do so let's do a better version of what we did the first time okay so I'm gonna run up your back do a somersault shove my escrima in its mouth and then let my momentum pull it backwards so that it's bending over backwards exposing its underside for you to hack the fuck out of it with your sword.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Okay sound good yeah that sounds good okay give me those rolls I'm rolling strength you would yeah and I'm rolling finesse oh I got a 25 with fear I got a 17 with hope which roll are you using I kind of want to just go with the 25 what do you think I think that the last time we attacked your 17 hit it that is true that is true so I don't know let's go with 25 okay that's perfect because I really wanted to use that fear so you run up Tabitha's back and this works totally in Qualo's mind's eye but what Qualo forgot was he's on the bridge of the ship and uh Tabitha when she's standing up her head like scrapes the top of the ship. So as Qualo jumps he scraped his face against the ceiling of the ship. He still manages to pull off a backflip and then manages to get his discrement sticks into the creature's mouth and pull it backward. But now there is a like bright red carpet burn streak up the side of Qualo's face. Qualo it has uh permanently scooted one of your eyes about one inch up your face permanently I mean for the foreseeable future um but he hasn't pulled back tablet that you jump in and you rip it apart. Excellent how much damage did you do uh Qualo? I did twelve twelve? Uh that's gonna be two points and that is enough to defeat the creature. Um nothing like it doesn't no goo comes out. Uh this creature while it moves organically and like as you rip it apart there's there doesn't seem to be any fluid in it at all and it looks more like it's a machine on the inside than a creature but it does seem to to die. And Tabitha when you hold up the corpse because I assume you definitely do hold up the corpse it doesn't smell like food to you. It doesn't smell like flesh that can be eaten but holding it uh you realize that maybe with a little bit of work that this thing would make a instead of a ball of swords a whip of swords.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

Ooh so yeah uh I I first do like a man because I can't eat it but then like as I look at her I'm like I'm I make a like a mmm as as I'm squinting all three of my eyes at it.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Okay. And follow you I'm assuming are checking on your sensory array. Yes. Uh you can see that it is now humming again in appreciation. They had tried to like peel away from the edge away from the creature but now it's like settling back down and purring again.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Alright good and you catch uh the reflection of your golden eyes looking back at you as you watch your sensory array curve in satisfaction No that's good because having uh slightly disjoint eyes helps you see angles a little bit more differently and so it's gonna help me study my hypertropic optical dimensional vortex array.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

And with that we're going to end the session a special thanks to our sound team to Derekress for creating Daggerheart, the awesome game we're playing and to our incredible fans. Don't forget to like subscribe comment follow five stars the whole thing it's the number one way to help the show. Busts of the Crux is part of the Witch Farch universe if you're interested in playing in any of the associated games you can find them on startplaying.games you can also join us on our Discord or follow us on Instagram links are in the doobly doo and we will see you next week engineering is so easy.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

I just start using vaguely science words bringing them together that's exactly it that's the whole thing every now and then throw in a philosophy word just to make it more sci-fi creatures and don't be offended by this but look a lot like you except they're like giant dog pigs