From Self-Betrayal To Heart-Led Choices

007 - Love can feel like a negotiation: I’ll open my heart if you meet me there, I’ll soften if you prove it’s safe. Today we’re challenging that entire framework and stepping into something far more stabilizing: love as a state of being. I walk you through what changes when the divine feminine is embodied, when inner separation gives way to embodied coherence, and when your relationships stop running on pressure, hustle, and emotional accounting.

We also get practical about what pulls us out of that state. Judgment is one of the fastest off-ramps, and we name the three directions it tends to go: judging ourselves, judging others, and worrying about how others judge us. The truth is we only control two of them and that’s exactly where our power is. You’ll hear how self-betrayal shows up through criticism, blame, rationalizing, and escape, and how to spot those signals early before they harden into habit.

Then we practice the reset: the choice point. Pause, breathe, get present, and listen for higher-self guidance so your next move becomes a response instead of a reaction. We’ll even reframe the ego with compassion, recognizing its job is safety and the familiar, while your higher self values connection, peace, and growth. If you want more grounded feminine energy, clearer boundaries, and a calmer nervous system, this is a simple daily practice you can start right now.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, share this with a woman you care about, and if you want deeper support visit awakenedacademy.io to book a call with me.

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Website:  Awakened Academy

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Transcript

Welcome And The Invitation

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to Flourishing Fem. Align, awaken, and thrive. This is your invitation to slow down, rise above the pressure to stay in the hustle, and return to your innate feminine truth and to what really matters. Hosted by Alignment Coach Marnay Bocat of Awakened Alignment Academy, each episode offers a focused practice you can apply daily. Marnay shares inspiring invitations to explore that help you let go of old patterns and create more space for flow, confidence, passion, and joy. Step into your divine feminine essence and watch your life and relationships begin to flourish.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Hello, it's a new day. And for every new day, we can create new experiences, new thought processes, new perceptions, and new ways of being and walking and expressing ourselves in our journey here on Earth. I'm Marnae Bocett Field, and I'm very excited to share another episode of Flourishing Femme. So in my last episode, which was about the changes that you actually experience when the divine feminine enters into a union and alignment, and where a lived shift from inner separation happens to come into an embodied coherence. So I wanted, I I told you and I promised that I would really break down all the concepts that we covered in that episode.

Love Becomes A State

SPEAKER_00 1:56

And the one that I'm going to, the actual concept and thought and or principle that I'm going to break down a little bit more in this specific session is that love becomes a state, not an exchange. And that we are no that in this alignment and this coherence and this embodiment of the divine feminine, we no longer are doing love. Like love is not a verb, but it's a way of being.

How Judgment Creates Self-Betrayal

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Critical, being very critical of ourselves or of other people. And that becomes what we call self-betrayal. There are three kinds of judgment as well as three times of kinds of rejection and three kinds of abandonment. But we're for today's podcast, we're going to talk about judgments. So there are three kinds of judgments. There's ways that we judge ourselves, there's ways that we judge others, and there's ways that others judge us. Now, out of those three, which two do we have any control over? Yeah, how we judge ourselves and how we judge others. And actually, we do step into self-betrayal when we get very critical and judge ourselves and when we judge others. And so what I have found when I have been practicing this, okay, here's a choice point, which is really every minute, maybe every 15 seconds, we're at a choice point. But if I'm in that place of beingness and that state of love or heart of peace, I will pause from also a space of love and self-respect for myself, for my higher source, for others, human in, you know, just humanity in general. And I listen for a prompting or some guidance from my higher self, um, maybe from higher source, uh the two blended together, then I will, I guarantee you, I will always make a choice from a place of listening, a place of love, a place of pause, and a place of beingness, and it will be a response instead of a reaction, an automatic reaction that comes from just old programming, old patterning, old operating systems that are just automatically running within me from you know, my programming, my filter, uh perhaps maybe some childhood traumas or some um religious programming or trauma or something of that nature. And so what I do is I self-betray at that point, I react, and in that reaction, I will almost always, and I as I work with clients, we can help them identify this as well. I will go into blame, judgment, whether it's of myself or others, blaming myself or others, um, criticalness, justification, rationalization, excuses. Um, and then there's other coping mechanisms, of course, too, where we just I want to eat something right now that just tastes good, and I self-betray, and I choose out of from an automatic response or uh reaction that is a coping mechanism, and I'll just eat a big handful of MMs, and then of course, feel the results about 10 minutes later. So I just wanted to bring this concept in principle to the light for you to contemplate this actual concept that I covered in the last podcast, and I covered a lot of principles and concepts and ideas and thoughts in the last podcast that I did, and I am just wanting to really break all of it down and just dissect it almost concept by concept, principle by principle.

Higher Self Values Versus Ego Safety

SPEAKER_00 15:11

So just to review again, love becomes a state when we are in alignment with our divine feminine and we have lived and are living in the shift from inner separation to embodied coherence. And um that's what I am challenging each and every one of you to just be aware of, get curious with that. Um, get curious with the idea of really coming to know and getting to know your higher self, the higher self that values um, that values love, that values light, that values um coherence and alignment and groundedness and connection in coherence and in divine, it values divine union and united consciousness instead of what the ego values, which is, you know, that's part of our state of being human, is to experience an ego, and an ego is about keeping us safe, and that's all okay. I mean, we gotta have an ego because that's the part of us that if we're standing out in the middle of a road and a semi's coming down the road, the ego's the part that says, get out of the road or you're gonna die. Because it's very much a part of our physical body and our physical estate that um, you know, wants to keep us safe because it doesn't want to lose its job because when we die, we the ego does die too, and it loses its job, and it's no longer working very diligently to be the head cockadoodle-doo in the program. So, um, and just remembering that its value system is it's all about feeling safe, a lot about staying in the old familiar, that's not necessarily uh a good place. Sometimes we can even call it the familiar hell, but we know it, we understand it, we've lived it, we recognize it, it's very familiar, and that keeps us from perhaps experiencing the unfamiliar heaven. It because it's like, oh, that's I don't know that space. I'm not familiar with that space. I've never experienced that space, at least to my knowingness and remembering this in my conscious mortal being. And so it is about awakening, it is about uh bringing us into higher, more vibrant frequencies, but it's it's just some fun things to get curious about and to play with and experiment

The Pause Practice At Choice Points

SPEAKER_00 18:20

with. So um think about these concepts, stop and notice how quickly you will react from just an automatic unconscious space because it's familiar, it's what you've always done, it's what you know, and become radically accountable and go, okay, I'm at a choice point right here. I can stop, I can breathe, I can get very present, and I can just stay in a space of love and just listen. Listen to my higher self. And let's make a very conscious and accountable choice from a place of love, a place of centered alignment and groundedness, and notice where you go from there. Now you again, I'm gonna remind you, you can always tell if you have stepped into an unconscious, unaccountable reaction and self-betrayed if you are choosing choosing into just blaming like crazy, because blame actually blinds us. Or you're just judging, ooh, just getting so judgmental of either yourself or others, or um you are just feeling the need to rationalize and defend and or make excuses or um abandon yourself and just escape and not stay present with yourself and with others. And so it's just something that I'm gonna give you a challenge to just recognize how often do I really just stop and from a state of love pause, listen, then choose and ask those questions. Am I making a choice right now from a place of radical accountability, love, a heart of peace, and I've taken the time to really listen to my higher self, my higher self that just really, really values connection and light and peace and growth and awakening and just all those things that can bring this coherence within us. So uh one thing, okay, there's that that challenge to just get curious about that, notice what you notice, play with these this terminology and this languaging and these ideas, uh, perhaps do a little bit of journaling about it.

Journaling Feedback And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 21:28

I love it when my clients journal about these experiences and come back and tell me what they've experienced, what they've noticed, what they have um learned, what amazing wisdom that they have learned by embodying this challenge. And so uh I'd love to hear actually what your feedback is from this challenge. And you can You can leave that feedback um upon the the the space that you can leave feedback on these different platforms where I have my podcasts because I do love your feedback and support and greatly appreciate that. It does really help us gain um some great connections as well as a stronger community. And you can visit my website also at awakenedacademy.io and um it would be fun also for you to set a time with me for an introduction introductory personal alignment discovery session, and uh love to experience that. And um I just would invite you to consider maybe doing one of all of those things that I challenged you to uh think about, act upon, and get curious about. So I hope that this has been inspirational and valuable for you today, and I invite you to continue listening to my podcasts. I will be coming out with more and more all the time. I will continue to dissect this the podcast that I introduced, the very last podcast before this one, because there's just a ton of content and information there that we can just really dissect and um pull apart each concept and go into each concept in principle a little bit deeper and deeper. So thank you for joining me today here on another episode of Flourishing Femme. And I look forward to having you join me on the next one. Thank you. Have a great day.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Thank you for tuning in to Flourishing Femme today. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. If today's show reminded you of someone you love and care about, please share it with her and help her flourish too. To explore deeper support, visit awakenedacademy.io and book a call with Marnay. Your time matters here, and we are so thankful you chose to spend it with us. We can't wait to see how you flourish. Have a blessed day.