Polarity Creates Attraction

Attraction doesn’t usually die from a lack of effort. It fades when we get stuck in the same gear all the time. We’re talking about polarity and magnetism in a grounded, real-life way, with clear definitions that make these words usable instead of confusing. Think batteries and magnets: when opposite ends meet, energy moves. When the same ends meet, there’s resistance. That simple idea can explain why some relationships feel efficient yet strangely unsatisfying. 

We share a vivid somatic story from a water aerobics training where music, movement, and cue words create two totally different experiences in the body: one built on strength, resistance, and powering through, and another built on flow, circular motion, softness, and being supported. That contrast reveals something surprising for many high-functioning women: the “soft” side can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable, even when it’s exactly what we crave in love. 

From there, we connect feminine magnetism to qualities that reliably create attraction, including playfulness, warmth, receptivity, and relaxed presence. We also name the over-functioning patterns that show up as “I’m the strong one, I fix everything, I manage everything” and how your body gives you instant feedback through clenched jaws, pressed lips, tight shoulders, rigid hips, shallow breathing, and more. Our goal is not to shame ambition or competence, but to help you shift from autopilot into conscious choice so your relationship has room for ease, trust, and real connection. 

If you want more support, check out awakenedacademy.io and consider booking a personal alignment discovery session. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show.

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Transcript

Welcome And Why Definitions Matter

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Hello, and welcome to another podcast of Flourishing Femme. I am Marnay Wokett, and I am so excited to be here and share time, valuable time, with all of my listeners and share some things that have been on my heart and brought to my awareness actually. So this is number 13, and I appreciate all the patience that you've had with me as I'm learning to craft my voice and get better and better at doing these podcasts. I just chose into some very divine feminine attributes of vulnerability and flow and just went with it. So I it was brought to my attention from some listeners that I have been using terminology that they weren't really familiar with. So I thought to myself, well, I get to back up and we get to explore the definitions of some of these words that I have used, such as magnetism and polarity. So in my desire to really captivate and invite and inspire with these things that have been just so um actually transformative for me in my life. I've found that I really want obviously to share because it's kind of like when you find a good sale and you want to go tell all your friends, yeah, I found this really great store that has all this amazing stuff, and they're the things there are um normally a really great price, but now they're like 50% off, and you get excited about something and you want to share it, and so that's where I am so at right now with this information, and so perhaps in my excitement I have spoken about things that maybe not everybody out there is familiar with, used terminology, and perhaps at times maybe I've even not been super sensitive to maybe your understanding or what you're familiar with. So I am gonna back up a little bit here and talk about magnetism and polarity. So there's this quote that I've used that if you want your man to be to be more in his masculine, lean into your feminine first. And then the very another thing that I've used right after that is polarity creates attraction. So we're

Polarity Explained With Simple Analogies

SPEAKER_00 4:02

gonna talk a little bit about polarity and a little bit more about magnetism and give some really good clear um definitions about those and how those definitions relate to what I'm talking about. So we have we everyone on the planet has both masculine and feminine energies naturally. Um but when we look at polarity, um, it refers to like a positive and a negative, such as in terminals of a battery or an electrical device, and in order for there to be proper connection, the terminals get to correctly be in their proper operation. So it's like the in a battery of a car, you've got the negative and the positive, and when the two are functioning in their proper operation, that's what makes the battery work and be most functional. So um, as also like a magnet, okay, polarity does actually refer to the two opposite ends of a magnet. So that's magnetism, and that's directly related to polarity. So there's like the North Pole and the South Pole polarity, and when you put a positive and a negative together, what happens? They pull together, and when you put a positive with a positive, what do they do? They separate and they they don't work together. In fact, they there's resistance when you try to put a positive and a positive together, it's like they become very resistive to each other, and so that's what I was so fascinated with coming to understand how to work with the divine feminine, which has a specific polarity, and the divine masculine, which has a specific polarity. So I'm going to give you a little example of what first gave me a very distinct somatic body learning experiential. So I am a certified water aerobics instructor and water therapy mentor and coach. So I'm certified with the AEA, which is the Aquatic Exercise Association. It's international, and I would go to trainings every other year to learn how to be a

A Water Class That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_00 7:11

better water therapist or water an aerobic trainer, coach, or instructor. And they do all kinds of different things there to give you as much information about this actual topic, and sometimes they even branch out and even do other stuff too that you could incorporate. Well, I attended this class where all of the cueing and all of the music was customly done to allow you to experience the masculine polarity in the water and the feminine polarity in the water. Now there is a workout that is called NIA NIA that is they also do the same thing and they do it on land. And then so what they did is they actually took what the concepts and the principles of this type of workout, they just took it to the water. So here I am taking this class, and it starts out with very masculine energy, a real strong beat, high, powerful, energetic, almost epic music. And we were instructed to do certain movements, very strong, powerful, long lever movements, and use the water as the opposition to work against to create that drag, that resistance. Okay. I that's how we do a lot of our workouts actually in water aerobics. We gentle them down depending upon what population we're working with, but it's about like a good hard workout that really worked your body and built the muscle and used the resistance of the water and even buoys and cuffs and different things. But in this one, we didn't have buoys and cuffs, it was all just we used the intention of the music. The teacher taught with words. She could think about these words because words have power, right? And so she was like, think about these words. And um so with each song, she would say one or two words, so there was the elements of a certain polarity were very much more masculine, okay, because the words were um courageous, determined, strong, win, and then she'd give us the the movements that we'd do in the water, and they were all very long lever, so there was a lot of resistance, and we had to really power through, especially with long lever movements with the legs and the arms, and so it was a really strong hard workout. Then she would switch the water up or switch the music up, and the music was very flowing, very airy, very soft, felt very nurturing, and she would cue us to do completely different movements in the water, lots of very circular movements, lots of movement of the hips, and using the water as support because we could float, right? Um and it was just so amazing to me the difference and more short lever movements, and the words that she was use that she used as the water or as the music shifted and changed was words like uh insightful, reflective, soft, flowing, yep. And we would think about those words and then we would let our body use those words to help us express our movements in the water, and in and it wasn't such a structured workout, we kind we had the freedom to kind of move and allow our bodies to move as we felt the energy of the music and thought about the words, and so people were just floating around and allowing their body to move freely and doing more circular movements, and some were floating, and some were just you know allowing the movement, the big expressive movements, opening the heart, relaxing the body into the supportive nature of the water. So we got to experience the water as either being the resistance or the the drag or the pull, and then we got to experience the water as the very supportive, nurturing element, and then we would switch, of course, our body movements and our intention and our thoughts as well as the music to have a completely different experience with that uh more divine feminine movement and words and intention. And I I kid you not, when I got out of that class, I was sobbing. Sobbing. My friend came up to me and she goes, What what happened? What what what was that all about? And I said, I think I finally had a visceral, literal, body somatic awakening to the difference between the masculine and the feminine. And there were others that were affected just like me in that class. So I took this experiential to uh several of my different women's retreats that I facilitate. And every time after that experience, and we gather together and we share, it's so amazing to me how women would come forward and share how uncomfortable and foreign it felt to do the more flowing, um nurturing, supportive, elegant, graceful movements in the water, how foreign and how strange and uncomfortable that felt to them. Because they were women that'd go to the gym and they'd do a hard step workout or you know, do um kickboxing, you know, very assertive, very determined workouts to get their workout, which is I'm not saying one's good, one's bad, it's just different. And how much more familiar and easy and comfortable it felt to do the more masculine workout in the water. And I it, but then there were some that just came forward and felt exactly like me. They were like, oh my gosh, that's the first time I've actually felt and allowed myself to just move with with grace and to feel nurtured by the water, and to um allow myself to just move in these graceful, beautiful, flowing movements, and still feel something happening in my body and even in my heart and in my soul and my whole being. And so I wanted to share this with you because perhaps, and I'm hoping, that this will give you a little bit better understanding of polarity. Now, magnetism is so playful is one of the divine feminine characteristics, traits, or values. I was listening to a podcast just this morning, and the man said this these types of things are the things that really attract, okay, so think of magnetic, attract a man to a woman as a high functioning leader, um,

Magnetism And The Power Of Play

SPEAKER_00 16:22

you know, man who is very uh in his masculine energy. What attracts a woman to him, and one of the first ones was playfulness. And I was like, well, here's another. I've got many, many, many um, I guess experientials or things that I've listened to that give me the proof and evidence that what I'm teaching with this is really pretty true to what a man feels as far as being attracted to a woman romantically, as a someone he wants to date and be around more, and perhaps maybe even make a commitment to and marry. And one of them definitely was playfulness, the light-hearted playfulness. And I was like, okay, here's here's just another um another thing that keep keeps reminding me that polarity and magnetism is a very real thing, which I know it is, but I always love to hear men especially talk about it, and women come to an aha that oh, this is what I want in my relationship, in my relationship with my significant other andor my husband. Now, do we always have to be in that energy or that polarity? No, maybe we are managers or presidents of a company or of our own company or whatever, and yeah, do we want to be disciplined and responsible and courageous and you know make things happen and function with uh you know determination and manage from a responsible, you know, standpoint? Yes. Even when we are parenting, you know, do we want to create structure for our children? Yes. Do we want to have schedules and agendas and because things kids do feel safer when there's structure and you know that kind of thing? So we are going to be tapping into our masculine a lot in a lot of things that we do. But what I'm here to create an invitation for is to just observe and notice in your relationship, your romantic relationship with, like I said, your husband, your boyfriend, your significant other, however you want to label that or identify it, to just notice when you are over-functioning, you are over-managing, you are over-responsible. And um notice the identities that you've been living around from. I'm the strong one, I'm the capable one, I'm the go-to, I'm the one that fixes everything, I'm the one that plans everything, I'm the one that remembers everybody's birthdays, you know, and then notice how that can kind of, as you notice that, how you can kind of begin to uncover some of the resentments maybe that you have because you are playing that role or doing those things in that relationship. Maybe you don't feel resentful, maybe you like it that way, and um

Spotting Over-Functioning In Love

SPEAKER_00 19:52

that that's what helps you feel safe and in control. However, when you think about it, are you creating the beautiful relationship with your husband, significant other, or boyfriend that you truly long for to have that feeling of that you can just relax in his presence and let and know that you're protected and that things are being taken care of and that you can have time to breathe and reflect and live in some energy of flow and creativity and those kinds of things. So it's it's an invitation. The invitation today is notice, just noticing, becoming choosing to really live from a place of instead of autopilot, a place of conscious choice. Now, a way that you can get a very strong body message if you are in over-functioning, over-managing, over-responsible, always the go-to person, I can handle this, I can do it on my own, and that kind of thing. That you're you're really creating more of an armor um that your nervous system responds to to try to stay safe sometimes, but your body will always tell you if that's where you're at because you can tell from am I clenching my jaw? I'm clenching my teeth, am I um am I uh squinching my eyes together or my lips together? Pressing my lips together a lot. That's where I noticed it the most, is I would press my lips together and kind of pucker them if I was in this place of I'm gonna get this done and determined. And again, that's not wrong, but I wanted to become conscious of when I was in that energy and become aware of the signs and the things that were happening in my body that would say, Oh, okay, here I am again, and I don't even really need to be here right now. And so it I just really had this desire to check in with my body and watch for the signs that I was in that in those thought processes or in those patterns. So So the invitation for you today is to notice your body as much as your thoughts and move with intention or put your body in a posture that represents nourishment, nurturing, soft, warm receptivity. Those are actually divine feminine polarities. And um just notice what you notice in your relationship as you do that more. Because there's a lot of huge invitations that it creates for the masculine when we do choose into that. Polarity creates attractions. Masculine and feminine feminine energies naturally respond to one another. So um, and here's what happens when both partners move into the same energetic mode, such as both in the masculine, polarity can weaken. So then we have two leaders, two providers, two problem solvers, two two, two, two of the same. And relationships like that can be very efficient, but we're finding that they are less sensual, sexual, and less satisfying. So um just a reminder that masculine energy is expressed through a lot of direction, protection, provision, and decisive action. And nothing's wrong with that. Sometimes we want to function from that. Again, if in our you know, if we're the owner of a business or a manager at a large company, or the CEO, or you know, even as a mother, sometimes we do get to have decisive action for sure. And um so these kinds of qualities, though, naturally orient towards something and someone, and we want to provide more receptivity and openness in our relationships so that uh we're not we're creating magnetism or a polarity balance. So when we as women can soften into our feminine energy, we can create an orientation through receptivity, trust, playfulness, relaxed energy, sensuality, um, nurturing and nourishment. So um when this can happen, you might notice that the men will step more fully into their masculine when they feel a woman who who can be there and really welcome it. So that's my podcast for today. And I hopefully have given you a lot to think about, and again, the invitation is shifting from autopilot to being very consciously aware of and and you can do that by noticing your body as much as your thoughts, like what's happening in your body? Are your shoulders tense? Is your is are your hips um more rigid? Do you have a lot of hip pain? That's another big

Body Signals That You Need Softness

SPEAKER_00 26:52

sign. Um clinched jaw, firm uh looks, or you know, like what how your face looks when you are determined, like you are gonna make something happen. Mine was the pressed lips together. Um short abrupt movements, even short, abrupt ways of communicating to, but and moving quickly, sharp, fast, determined, you know, instead of a little bit more with flow and softness and warmth and allowing um your body can give you all kinds of messages. You can feel a tight feeling in your very upper stomach. That was another one that was a real sign to me. Shortness of breath. I would do a lot of really um what they call thoracic breathing, which is in the upper chest part rather than deep, clear down to the pubic bone, diaphragmatic breathing, teness in your lower back, tenseness in your upper back, shoulders tense, drawn up to your ears and neck pain, that kind of stuff. Notice just it your body can be a great, great messenger. And that's what I love about this work is we can do it really gradual, we can do it very gently and with a lot of compassion, and just go, oh, look what my body's telling me right now. I might be a little bit in the over-functioning mode, over-managing, over-responsible mode. And like I said, that's okay in some areas of our life for sure. But um, when we're in this desire to create and manifest a better relationship, these are just things that you can get real curious about and notice. So that's my podcast for today. I thank you so much for joining me, and I hope that this has cleared up some stuff. If you did have a little like, now what does this magnetism or this polarity stuff actually mean? And now you'll have some clarity as far as what those words and mean and the definition and how it relates to what I am actually delivering as far as content. Okay, so thank you so much for sharing this time with me today. I really do appreciate it. And I just want to remind you to check out my website at awakenedacademy.io. Um, there's some, it's not really super focused on divine feminine right now, it's very general stuff. That some little courses that you can sign up to just listen to and learn a lot, and it the content can definitely apply, but it's not totally focused on the the topic of the divine feminine, but um lots of good information there. There's also a space there where you can sign up for a time to have a personal alignment discovery session with me, especially

Key Takeaways And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 30:32

as it relates to divine feminine or anything else. That I I mean, I have a lot of hats that I wear and a lot of content that I can share. So in this personal alignment discovery session, we'll be able to see and understand and know together what would be best for you as far as a next step in your journey for you know being um productive and progressive in your intention as far as what where you want to go in your life. And uh so know that there is a space on the website also that you can sign up for that. Again, thank you for sharing this time with me today, and I do look forward to connecting again. I look forward to feedback from you. I I love the people, I love all the feedback people have been giving me as they've listened. Um, of course, there's a lot of the people that have been listening are people that I know, but there's a lot of you out there that I've never met before, and I would love to meet you. Um it's it's the discovery alignment session is is free and it's for 30 minutes, and I would love to meet you. Um see where you're at on your journey and see perhaps how we could uh for you know allow you to move further in the in this journey. So uh it's it's I I'm at my time that I like to keep these podcasts at because then you know you're excited about the next one and curious, and this is how I'm choosing to do these is keeping keeping them between 20 to 30 minutes. So we uh I look forward to sharing time with you on my next episode. This is episode 13, and I also will be releasing episode 14 sometime this week, and so look forward to to that, and we'll catch you on the next episode of Flourishing Fem. Thank you.