What if I Don't Want to Do That?

What if God is asking you to do something you don’t want to do?

Or just as hard… what if He’s asking you to let go of something you don’t want to lose?

Sometimes the tension in our faith isn’t about knowing what God is asking—it’s about not wanting to do it. We feel the nudge. The clarity is there. And yet everything in us resists. Not because we don’t trust God, but because obedience often comes with a cost: letting go of something familiar, stepping into something uncertain, or surrendering control over how things turn out.

In this episode of Wine Into Water, we explore the two sides of the same question: saying yes to what God is calling us toward, and releasing what He’s asking us to leave behind. Through honest conversation and personal stories, we talk about how those moments are rarely clean or easy. Often, they’re tangled up in fear, attachment, expectations, and the quiet hope that maybe we can follow God without having to give something up.

We look at the stories of Moses, Jonah, and Saul—people who were called clearly, yet struggled in very human ways to respond. Some ran. Some resisted. Some held on too tightly. And in all of it, God’s purposes still moved forward—not because they got it perfectly right, but because He is faithful even when we are not.

We also wrestle with what surrender actually means. Not just letting go of the thing, but letting go of how it plays out. Releasing our expectations. Trusting that God’s way—even when it looks different than what we would choose—is better than anything we could control.

This episode is for anyone who finds themselves in that quiet tension:
I think I know what God is asking… but I don’t want to do it.
Or… I don’t want to let this go.

It’s a conversation about obedience, yes—but also about relationship. About a God who doesn’t ask for perfection, who isn’t surprised by our resistance, and who continues to invite us to walk with Him anyway.

Whether you’re wrestling with a decision, holding on to something tightly, or sensing a call you’re not sure you’re ready to answer, this episode offers a gentle reminder: you can do this the easy way or the hard way—but either way, God is still with you, still working, and still inviting you into something bigger than you can see.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Sometimes we pray for the miracles. We wait for the breakthrough, the healing, the answered prayer. And when it doesn't come, when life feels ordinary, heavy, or quiet, we wonder if something is wrong. We read about water turning into wine, but most of us are living in seasons where it feels like the opposite. Where the celebration fades and the glass feels empty. Where faith isn't dramatic, it's dishes in the sink, laundry that never ends, prayers whispered into the silence. But what if the miracle was never the point? What if what we're really longing for isn't the wine, but the living water? The presence of Jesus in the middle of the Monday. The abundance that doesn't depend on circumstances. This is a podcast for seasons that feel unmiraculous. For the questions we carry quietly. For the faith that keeps showing up, even when nothing changes. Welcome to Wine in to Water. I'm your co-host, Jen Asklin. And I'm your other co-host, Lydia Rosencreve. We're two women who have been asking questions, nobody seems to be answering. Questions about faith and seasons when life can feel unmiraculous.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

And we kept having these conversations, just the two of us, and we realized we can't be the only ones who are asking these questions.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

So we decided to invite you into the conversation. We're so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Two sides to the same coin. And that is what do we do when God's calling us to do something and we know that clearly, and we just really don't want to do it? And on the other side, um, what if God is calling us to surrender or let go of something that we desperately want to hold on to? Um, and so we thought about making those two different questions and two different episodes, but we realized that the heart posture in both of those is really pretty much the same. And so we thought we could probably talk about them together.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Lydia, what comes up for you when you think about this question?

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Um I think for me, Jen, I mean, I think we each struggle in a different way, right? So I don't want this to sound like I think I'm um I've got it all together because I seriously don't. But I haven't struggled as much with the calling um to do something. Like I'm kind of a, I'm a little bit crazy, a little bit, um, I kind of like taking risk, and I like feeling like I'm part of something bigger than myself. And so God's called me to do some pretty, some things that the world would call insane, I would say. Um, you know, I have 13 kids and 11 of those are adopted, and a lot of a lot of those have special needs. And I've made some career moves that really didn't make a lot of sense. I've made a number of those. Um, and the truth is, is that I'm always like, yeah, God, let's go. For the most part. I mean, I've had fear and doubt, but for the most part, I'm like, yes, let's do it, God. You and me, we got this, right? Um, but God has also called me to let go of some things that I have not wanted to let go of. That is where I struggle, um, surrendering things that that seem good, or that one time God called me to, no, clearly called me to do, and then said, This is no longer yours, that is where I have um, that's where I've struggled the most to surrender. How about you, Jen? Are you like me or are you the opposite?

SPEAKER_01 4:06

You know, the th the thing that I've reflected on is every time I've gotten a call to go do something, it comes at the expense of something that I don't want to let go.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Right. So um my my the largest part of my career was spent at one company. And then I was very clearly being asked to go somewhere else. And it wasn't that I like didn't want to say yes to the new thing, but it's that I couldn't surrender the old thing that I would have had to in order for the new thing to be possible, right? No different than we felt very called to be in Iowa. We knew that like we were being called to Iowa. And I would, I, I was okay saying yes to I, yeah, I can do that. But I think about the life we had built in Texas and the friends that we had and the careers that we had and this the stability that we had, right? And so I think sometimes for me it's the same dynamic, but to say yes to a thing means I've got to say no to something that I have. And that to me can be the hardest point, right? No different than starting this whole coaching journey, right? I felt very called into it, but I had to like walk away from a big corporate job in order to do it. Um, and so I think that the two are so I guess interlinked for me, um, rather than standalone questions because they seem to always come in pairs.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Hmm. That's interesting. Um, you're making I'm trying to go back and think about, you know, have God's calls in my life required me to surrender something I didn't want to. And I think for the most part that hasn't necessarily been true for me. Um like when we were called to adopt, yeah, I guess we gave up, you know, we were still fairly newlyweds, so I guess we gave up um well I mean, and we did have to give up some things. Um yeah, so I understand. I understand. Um so you know, I've been thinking about biblical characters that have experienced something like this. And you know, you and I were talking before we started recording about a few. Moses um obviously called, very clearly called, right, in the birding bush, and he made every excuse in the entire world. Um, and then Jonah and um again, such a picture of um, I mean, he ran away the opposite direction of God's call, right? I mean, it was it was um so clear. And then we were talking about on the other side, um, you know, Saul was called to give up something, not go to something. He was called to give up the kingdom God set up. It's God told him, He's like, I've taken it from you. Like it wasn't even a I need you to surrender this, right? He's like, I took it. Um, but I've thought about that and thought about Saul and thought about if he had been obedient at that moment, right? Like if he had said, Oh my goodness, God, you are you are right and I am wrong, and I I screwed up. Like I, you know, I was disobedient, I didn't do what you told me to do. Um, and you are just and I am unjust. And so I'm gonna do what you asked me to do. I'm gonna surrender being king, and I'm gonna allow David to step into the throne because you've anointed him to do this, and I'm going to walk beside him and support him and help make him the best king he could possibly be. And what a different life he would have had, and what a different life his family would have had, what a different life David would have had. Um, and what how different it would have been for the whole country, right? If they, if he hadn't plunged them into a civil war. Um fighting to hold on to something that God clearly told him was not his any longer. And that story speaks to me about, uh, that one speaks to me very clearly about when I hold on to something that God has clearly said that I am to let go of. Who am I hurting? Um, myself, obviously, but who else am I hurting? Am I stealing somebody else's calling? Right? Am I um and then what am I missing out on? What blessings am I missing out on? Because it's not like when he calls us away from something, he doesn't have any, you know, it's not like he goes, Well, Lydia, I'm done with you. Um, you know, so I mean, if he's done with me, I'm gonna be going to heaven, right? I mean, it's not like he doesn't have something else planned. It may not be what I expected or hoped for, but it he's got something else. Um, anyway, what are what are your thoughts around that?

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Well, I I think um, so I'll give a specific example. So I worked at AT ⁇ T for like a lot of years. And I got approached by a recruiter at a different company, and it had God's fingerprints all over it, like all over it. And um we were moving at the time. We had built a house out in the suburbs, and so we were packing up our things, and I had lots of sleepless, sleepless nights as I was trying to figure out like what to do. Do I walk away from this 20-year place where I've built this reputation? I'm well positioned for the future. And as I was sitting sleepless in our living room, I had packed up like all of my books. And there were two books that I hadn't. And one was The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, which I think was just a sign to like slow down. Yes. But there was this other book titled Called. And one of the pastors at our church in Dallas had written it. And so I opened it up and I had read part of it years ago, but I opened it up to where I had the bookmark, and it was the story of Esther. Like, what if, what if you are where you are and who you are for a time such as this? And I read it, and I think what I was supposed to take away was like maybe a Moses message of like, you were equipped, go where I'm calling you to go. How I chose to take it and said is, oh, I must surely like stay and fight for this thing that I've got. Right. And so I called a really close mentor of mine and said, like, here's the situation, here's what they're offering me, here's the conversations I've had internally, here's kind of where things sit today. And I will like never forget the phone call. Like, I can I was standing in the corner of our guest bedroom looking out the window, and he said to me, You have two options. You can take the money and run, which is what I would advise you to do, or you can take the nuclear option and you can go back and fight to stay. And I don't think that I understood what he was saying until the thing played out. But I think the company had already voted and it wasn't for me. And I wanted them to vote for me. Like I wanted them to want me. And so I stirred up all of this activity to try to stay. And in the end, like it was never gonna make any sense for me to stay. But when he said nuclear option, I think what I didn't understand is that like what I was blowing up were the relationships that I had spent 20 years building. And like the grace-filled way would have been to just like gracefully say goodbye, that I had a thing I couldn't walk away from, and to just walk in obedience to something that God clearly had his hands on. And instead, I like Jonah's the whole situation, like walked in the other direction, got thrown into the belly of the whale, ruined relationships that I had spent decades building. And so I think like what comes up for me is like, hmm, God's gonna do his will. Like it's it's it's going to happen. It's not anything that like we can control. Yeah. And when we try to oppose that, it still turns out the way that God wanted it to turn out. But I think we go kicking and screaming and hurting people in the process instead of viewing it as this opportunity to partner with God, to be with him in the creation of his will. And I think about how that plays out not only like in our hearts, but that like trickles into the relationships in the people around us as well. Like I think about Jonah on the ship in the storm, and the people are like, What are you doing? Get off our boat. And it's so reminiscent for me of that season because I like stirred up this huge storm because God was gonna do what God was gonna do anyway. Right? I couldn't, who am I to stop it or like thinks that I that I could?

SPEAKER_00 14:03

And you know what's beautiful, even in all of that, and and when I think about Jonah's story, is our God still works good through all of it. Like, number one, your decision didn't take him by surprise, right? Jonah's decision decision didn't take him by surprise. Um, he wasn't sitting up there going, oh my god, Jen has screwed everything up. What am I gonna do with this mess? Right. He already knew what you were gonna do, you know, he knew before he created you what you were gonna do. Um and like if when I think about the the sailors, right? Obviously, because of Jonah, they had to go through the storm, right? So he definitely brought harm to them. But at the same time, these were pagans, and this was their first encounter with the living God, right? And who knows that some of them didn't become believers because of that experience?

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

And so at the in the end, Nineveh was saved and it was gonna be saved. Uh God already knew that was gonna happen. And at the same time, um, perhaps other people were saved that wouldn't have been saved if Jonah had made a different decision, right? So I think um I think it comforts me to know that, yep, sometimes I make the wrong choice. I'm I'm a I'm human and I'm gonna make the wrong choice. I'm either gonna delay on something he has told me to do, or I'm going to cling to something he has told me to let go of. And somehow our sovereign, amazing God manages to bring good out of every mistake that I've ever made.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

And that gives me a great deal of comfort. Like the verse that was popping for me on that is like he works all things together. All things for our good. And even when we royally screw it up.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yep. Yep. And I mean it's be I mean, it's there is something comforting to know that no matter what, he is sovereign. Like uh obviously we rebel against that in some ways, right? Because otherwise, I mean it would, you know, just like with Jonah, like Lord, I knew you were merciful, I knew you were gonna forgive these people, and I didn't think they deserved it, and so it wasn't gonna go, right? Because I knew what you were gonna do. But I think there's so I think there's something that would allow us, if we would just allow it to, that would allow us to rest a whole lot more than we actually do. Um, because we think the whole world depends on us, and we have to make the at least I do. I I sometimes get this this idea that the whole entire world is on my shoulders. And if I screw up, it's all gonna fall apart, it's all gonna fall down, everyone that I love is gonna be hurt. Um, you know, the world's gonna end because Lydia made a mistake. And the truth is, is that if I drop all of it right this second, Jen, he's gonna catch it. He's gonna catch it. Um, maybe not in the way that I want him to or imagine that he would, but ultimately he's gonna catch it. He's not sitting up there going, I really hope Lydia doesn't screw this up, because you know, I got nothing.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

I also um I also think it's a reminder that like yes, he will catch it and he will do it in a way that is different than how you would have done it. And sometimes it lets you see how much better like his his ways are if you can just like release the thing, um, which maybe comes back to our point around surrender. Um, and this is not a godly example, this is a worldly example, but that's what's coming out. I love it. So my husband and I were in Omaha over the weekend to celebrate our 11-year anniversary, which was lovely. Thank you. Um, but he was he was taught we I I asked questions like, what do you love most about our marriage? What do you wish was different? Right? Like, what's been your favorite part? Um one of the conversations we had is like, he's like, I don't, I don't feel like you you nag me. And I was just like, Well, I think I've come to appreciate that when I give you a thing, when I surrender a thing to you, I also have to surrender how the thing gets done. Oh, and so my my parents were in town last weekend, weekend before, I guess. And we had Easter dinner, and it was like Tuesday night, and we had a bunch of stuff going on, and I threw something in the crock pot for dinner. I was like, there's chicken in the crock pot for dinner, and we need some sort of vegetable. There's fresh vegetables in the fridge. There's zucchini, there's carrots, there's broccoli, like there's lots of vegetables in my house. And I walk in the kitchen, and they are eating curry chicken and rice with leftover potatoes and creamed corn from Easter. And I'm like, was there not enough food? And we had to like dig into the leftovers, like, what happened here? And my husband just looks at me and says, Well, you said we needed vegetables, and there were corn and potatoes in the freeze in the fridge, so we heated them up. And I was like, Okay. But I think it's like this reminder of when you're asked to surrender, it's not just the thing, but it's like what happens with the thing, like how it gets done, and how there's this piece of me, whether it is my husband or God, that is just like, but there was zucchini. Why couldn't we have used zucchini? Like, we ate the leftovers and now they're gone. And look at that. Isn't that magical? Um, but I think I think that's maybe the hard thing is you don't just let go of the thing, you let go of like what happens to the thing.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

Yes. And it's like, where do these expectations come from? You know? Um where where is it that we decide that the zucchini is better than the crane corn? And then we just kind of assume that everybody else thinks agrees, right? You know, and um it's like God has been speaking a lot to me about expectations lately. Um because that's where so much of my disappointment comes from is I expected it to be different than it ended up being, right? And I don't unless I stop to think about it, I don't always see that because my expectations are just part of me. I don't see them as like they're me and not what everybody else thinks should happen or expect or whatever, or or that God may be thinking is the right way to do things. Um, and I I have been struggling with a great deal of disappointment in a lot of areas of my life. But he has been showing me that part of that is just unmet expectations. And not every, you know, not everybody thinks the way that I think or thinks that they should happen things should happen the way that I think, or that he thinks things should happen the way that I think. Um, I go back a lot to, you know, his ways are above my ways. And um I think part of what Jesus was saying when he said that we have to have faith like a little child is I bet your kids didn't think a thing about whether they were having zucchini or cream corn and they couldn't have cared less, right? So there's you know, children certainly they sometimes have expectations around certain things, but I think for the most part, when you think about a small child, they just, you know, they just kind of go with the flow. It's like, oh my gosh, there's a sock on the floor. I'm gonna go play with it, and then I'm gonna drop it because I saw a butterfly. And, you know, it's just I'm just going through life and I don't have like these great expectations. Somebody's gonna feed me, you know, somebody's gonna take care of this. And I think that's what Jesus was saying is how much more joy-filled and happy would we be if we just let God be God? Yeah. And stopped expecting that He is gonna do things exactly the way we think they should be done.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

And when we release our agendas, our expectations, the way we think it should be, I think it just opens this door to a different relationship with God. Because then it becomes less about you doing or creating the thing that you want to, and more about getting to participate in the carrying out of God's will in this world. And so I like I think about Moses, where at the beginning, right, clear call, burning bush. And his response is like, but I can't, I don't speak that good. And God's like, I don't care. Like, I got you. I planned for that. Like, right? Like, yeah, yeah, you'll have company, it'll be fine. But when Moses finally accepted that, I just think about this relationship he had with God, like this friendship he had with God, where he could go lead Israel through the wilderness and be guided by God in the process to provide for them, to help them, and how he could go to God and be like, these people, God. And God's like, I know, here's what we're gonna do. Um, but I I think about just the personal relationship that he had. And then I think about how Jesus gave that to all of us. Like it wasn't just the few prophets that God had this relationship with, but how now, like, we're all invited into that same dynamic, this like personal relationship with the creator of the universe, who sees us as perfect despite our screw-ups and our agendas and like all of it. And I think about how often we leave that relationship on the table because we're so busy holding on to or chasing the things that are ours and maybe not are his.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Yeah. I think that that's true. Um I mean, Jesus calls us friends, right? He calls us brothers and sisters. Um like that was the first thing that he said. After he rose again, you know, he told Mary Magdalene, go go tell my brothers, right? If I had been the one who had been on the cross and suffered the way he did, and all of those people left me, I don't I'm not sure brothers is the first word I would have used, right? Um but that's who he is. And there, you know, there's there's nothing we can do to change how he feels about us. And I think a lot of times what causes me to not do what he's asking or to not let go of what he's asking me to let go is deep down, I question my worthiness to be in that relationship as if it's dependent on me, right? Um, and so it's like, no, God, I gotta earn it. I gotta earn, I'm gonna earn your love. I'm gonna sh I'm gonna show you that nobody could do this in better. I'm gonna be amazing, I'm gonna do it perfectly. I'm gonna, you know, and he's not calling me to do that. He's not, he knows I can't do it for one thing. Um he loves me, and there's not a thing in the world I can do about it. I can't make it, I can't earn it, and I can't lose it, and it's just how it is. And um I struggle. I struggle with that. Um I struggle with that free gift of friendship that Jesus has given me that had nothing to do with me.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

I think you're hitting on something that I'm sure a lot of our listeners experience. But this idea of let me make you so proud, Lord, let me do all the things, slay all the dragons, conquer all the giants, like let me make you so proud. And for me, it like it always comes back to that like Mary and Martha moment where he's just like, hey, busy lady. Mary chose the better thing, like just be with me, just be with me. Um and I like I have had times where I said yes to a thing, and then the storm came. I think about when Jesus calls his disciples into the boat and like, let's cross over to the other side, and he just takes a nap. And his disciples end up in the storm for something he invited them into, right? They weren't being disobedient, they were being obedient. And I think sometimes even when we're obedient, it doesn't, it doesn't mean that like it's gonna be easy or that there's not going to be a storm.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

And I think in both of them, it's like the same undercurrent of just be with me. Like I am with you in your obedience, in your disobedience. Like, I don't need you to do anything, I don't need you to be afraid, I don't need you to earn it. Like, all I want is for you to just be with me, partner with me, like walk with me. Um, and how hard it is for us to believe that that's enough.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Yeah. Well, in our defense, we get a whole lot of conflicting information on that one, right? Um, I think, especially as women, the expectations of others, or at least how we perceive the expectations of others, is pretty heavy. Um, the idea that we have to be phenomenal mothers and wives, and we have to do if we do work outside the home, we have to be really great at that as well. And we have to look like we're 25, no matter how old we actually are, and we have to be a certain size, and we're our house has to be perfect, and um, we have to cook really well, and we have to be the perfect PTA mom at our kids' school, and we got to get our kids all the places they're supposed to be, and oh my gosh, right? And so um it's like it's like becoming Mary in the middle of that almost feels like just one more thing, God. Now I also have to sit at your feet and learn and listen and just be quiet. And when am I supposed to do that? When am I supposed to do that, Lord? And um, but the truth is is that I have time to do that. He didn't call me to be a perfect mom, a perfect wife, a perfect employee, to look 25, to have a clean house all the time, you know, to to be involved with everything. He did that's he didn't set that expectation. Um, but those are my decisions and my choices.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

I wonder if it's a bit of you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Would you just believe that? Yeah. Would you rest in that? Would you quit performing for the world this act of perfection that was never what you were called for? Like, I don't know. I sometimes imagine him like looking down on me and being like, I made you exactly who you're supposed to be. I gave you exactly what you needed to partner with me in creating my kingdom on earth. Like, let it go. Let it go and be with me and watch what we can do together.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Nope. I feel like we have to have a whole nother episode on expectations. Our own um, you know, what everybody else puts on us.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Um and somewhere in there, like, what does it mean to be a Proverbs 31 woman?

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Oh man. Oh I think it's a good one. That is a great one. Um, which unfortunately gets weaponized against women sometimes, right? And that's never, never, never what God intended.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Um maybe that's I think that's a that's another question. Lord, what is it that you expect of me as a woman in this world? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Um okay, coming at some point in the future. Lydia, I'm curious. What are you what are you taking away from today?

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Oh wow. Um actually a lot, Jen. Um But I think it's that we you know, I we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I feel like that's what God's saying, you know? It's like, okay, Lydia, I I'm giving you the choice, right? I gave you free will. We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way, but either way, we're gonna do it. And you get to decide. Um And I think it's the fact that I know, I just know that sometimes I'm gonna choose the hard way, Jen. I just I'm not always gonna get it right. And yet his grace is still sufficient for that. Um his grace is still sufficient for that.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

I agree with all of that. I think the two things I would add are some of the times where I've chosen the hard way have prepared me for the next time when I got to choose the easy way.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

And I don't know that like the second could have been possible without the first because I needed to learn the lessons that the first taught me.

unknown 35:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

And the second is that when he asks us to do things, they're not for naught. Like there is purpose and and being able to bring heaven a little bit closer to earth. And I think about what if it wasn't a question of am I gonna be obedient to this or not? What if it's more a question of he's invited me to go do something? And whatever it is will be extraordinary. How like how could I say no to that invitation?

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Yeah. It's been good.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

Um do you want to pray over our listeners? Yeah. Do you want to do it or do you want me to?

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Why don't you go ahead?

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Okay. Lord, we know we get it wrong. Probably more often than we get it right. For the expectations we carry for the control we want over the things that get done and the way that they get done. Over wanting to avoid the grief of having to walk away from something that we've built, maybe even something that you've called us into. But Lord, we know that you work all things together for your good. And that when you call us to something, it has implications bigger than we could dream of. So, Lord, remind us that we don't need to earn your love. You've given us exactly what we need to partner with you in this world. And Lord, I just ask that you help us say yes to the invitations you extend to us. Give us the courage to just be with you and trust that that's enough and to do the things that you're inviting us to partner with you on. Lord, watch over our listeners as they go through their work. Help them to hear your voice and know the call that you play. And Lord, keep them safe until we're back in your mighty and powerful name. Thank you.