TOP GUN: Second Wind

Second Wind is a podcast for men over 40 who found themselves starting over —
fatherhood, marriage, purpose, or all three — later in life.

If you’re raising kids with gray in your beard, rebuilding after mistakes, or realizing life didn’t turn out the way you planned, this space is for you.

This isn’t motivation for clicks.
This is a conversation for men who are still in the fight.

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 #TheWeightMenDontTalkAbout
 #MenOver40
 #DivineRealignment
 #FatherhoodJourney
 #MasculineGrowth
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 #TruthWithOxygen
 #WHOY 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

I've got a lot to talk about, but first let me tell you how Second Win got started. At 50, I had a son. At 51, I had an adopted son. Didn't intend to, but his dad worked for us and he decided he was going to go back to his country and leave the baby with his roommate. My wife and I, we looked at each other and said, uh, not a good idea. So we took him. He was four at the time. And by the way, we knew the roommate quite well. And then at 57, I had another son. Yeah, I know. The math surprised me too. But somewhere along the way, somewhere between changing diapers, fixing lunches, dropping off at school, picking up from school, and taking to boxing lessons. I figured something out. I wasn't tired because I was old. I was tired because I really, really had been called back into purpose. Life had given me an assignment. When I thought I was done. I mean, I had a 33-year-old and a 26-year-old. So I thought I was done. But life gave me an assignment. And it was a conundrum for me. So much so that I started to write. Now, the writing wasn't really a plan because when I look back at it, Second Wind didn't start from me trying to build a brand. It actually didn't start from a plan. And it didn't start as a podcast. I just started writing. So my first book, The Art of Personal Development, Work Harder on Yourself, W H O Y, the acronyms. It's on Amazon. And I don't tell you that for you to go and buy it. I'm giving you the steps that took me to where I am now. I wrote that book really for one reason and one reason only. Orange Henderson, my mother. She got behind me and she believed in me and she kind of made me think I could do whatever it is I really wanted to do. And so I wrote. Then I wrote a children's book. And the children's book, I never really planned on writing it. I kind of backed into it. My wife kind of nudged me and prodded me. And so I wrote. And I knew while I was writing it that I wanted certain language for the kids. I wanted certain language. I wanted them to have certain vernacular for, a certain vernacular for discipline, a certain vernacular for effort, a certain language for just knowing and understanding how to work harder on themselves. So I wrote. And then I wrote a third book. And the third book, The Lions Den, The Four Pillars of Male Success. I was a little bit more intentional about that book. And it went best selling on Amazon. And I knew who I wanted to speak to. I knew what my target audience was. It was men. And it's funny because initially I didn't really want to talk to men because I'm in that zip code as well, and we the DIY crowd. We've seen it all, know it all. When in actuality we do not. But I wrote. And looking back on it, the books weren't really the destination. They were breadcrumbs. I realized I wasn't teaching, I was really confessing. And so life doesn't seem to explain a lot to us sometimes. It just kind of reveals things to us as we go along. It's kind of like when a woman conceives. She goes to the doctor and he tells her, hey, you're pregnant. Or she just gets a test over the counter. Well, initially, you don't really see anything. You don't see her being pregnant. There's no visible signs. But over time, something happens. And you start seeing things manifest themselves. And that's kind of how Second Wind happens. Kind of how Second Wind evolved. I was carrying it, but I didn't know the language. And I'll tell you a true story. My boys, we have this thing, we do push-ups every other day. We do a hundred, and sometimes we do two sets of fifty, four sets of twenty-five, whatever. And we'll rotate. So one day we're minding our own business and we're doing the push-ups. And my three-year-old comes in the room. I mean, a ball of chaos, trust me. And he gets on his big brother's back, my 13-year-old. He tries to do a push-up. Now the three-year-old weighs 35 pounds. He tries to do a push-up. He collapses. Can't do one. Then he gets on his other brother's back. And he tries to do a push-up. And he can't do one. And then he looked at me, and they put him on my back. And I didn't say it out loud, but I was thinking it. You know what? Lord, we're going to find out today. And sure enough, I knocked out 12. And my wife laughed. It wasn't necessarily a motivating kind of laugh. It was more of a laugh to say, time is real. And when she did, my son reminded me how old I was. He didn't do it intentionally. But he said, Mom, why are you laughing? You can't do one. Dad is 60, and he's doing a hundred. Now I don't tell you that for ego. They say ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity. So I'm not saying it for ego, trust me. I'm walking and living this life, so I'm not talking at you, I'm talking to you. But I tell you this story because what I want you to take away from it is not that you need to try and be young again. I'm not trying to be young again. I've done young. I've been young. I'm trying to say, be prepared. See, I want to be prepared now. When I want to be prepared when I'm called. And what I mean by that is when they need me, when your kids need you, when your wife needs you, when purpose needs you, you want to be prepared. Not necessarily young. And it's interesting when we talk about strength. You know, I hear these old man jokes a lot and pull out the old man card, but in actuality, I don't sleep as much as I used to sleep. Not because I'm old. I really don't sleep because of accountability and purpose. It's interesting and it's funny how when you do have purpose, it'll wake you up in the morning. When you do have accountability, a lot of times you don't sleep as sound. It's funny because when I was in corporate and I worked for three Fortune 500 companies, I slept great. I mean, I never had a problem sleeping. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure, I can't remember, but I may have slept on the job a few times. But that was not rest. That was escape. Does that make sense? But now rest seems to know when it's required. It's almost as if one fuels you and the other one drains you. So when you have purpose, rest fuels you. When you have lack of purpose, it drains you. Does that make sense? So this is where second wind came into existence. And it's really strength without ego, if that makes sense. So I don't want you to say you're old and ask yourself, am I prepared? That's what you need to be finding out. Am I prepared? Not that I'm too old. You don't need to be young. I tell you a true story. I went to a friend's house, and he and I were talking, and he retired recently, and they wrote him a nice check, severance, great package on the way out the door. And this is my guy. I mean, we played ball together in school, grew up together. So I'm celebrating with him, but in the privacy of my own company, I started thinking. I said, man, you should be farther along. Everybody your age is cruising. I'm coming up with all these scenarios. Maybe you should have stayed with one of the companies you were working with. And then I got down on my knees. And I started thinking, man, your children don't need a retired dad. They need a resilient one. They need one that's still in the fight. And the other thing that came to my mind was comparison is a thief. We know all too well as men how to compare. We compare our watches and our shoes and our cars and houses. You know, sometimes we even compare relationships. I mean, we we compare all the time, but comparison is a thief. Why would you compare your ending or your middle to someone else's ending? Why would you do that? Your chapter is still being written. If you are 40 plus with children later in life, wife later in life, purpose later in life, you're not at the conclusion. You're in the middle. I heard a guy say, rest at the end, not in the middle. So we have to keep that top of mind. So this is where second wind came about. It's not about starting over, it's about responding when pressure shows up. It's about timing, weight, and responsibility. We're not too tired, we're not worn out. We're just avoiding some things. And some of the things that we're avoiding is not a second wind, but just to breathe. And what I mean by that, go ahead and breathe now. I mean, don't wait until you retire to breathe. Don't wait until you get the house paid off to breathe. Don't wait until you pay off the car to breathe or the kids graduate from college to breathe. Go ahead and breathe now, man. Face it now. That's what second win is. No hype, no hustle, just truth with oxygen. This has been K.R. Henderson. This is Second Win.