WICK: Decisions Have A Shelf Life

Some men don’t ruin their lives with bad decisions… we ruin them by delaying good ones too long. In this powerful episode, I  talk about leadership, discomfort, delayed purpose, emotional maturity, late fatherhood, and the dangerous cost of hesitation. This episode is for the man rebuilding, rediscovering purpose, and realizing that maybe he wasn’t late… maybe he was being prepared.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Decisions have a shelf life. Good day, champions. Let's talk about something grown men don't like to admit. Some of us are not stuck because we lack talent. We're stuck because we waited too long, far too long to make a decision. And every decision has a shelf life. Milk does, bread does, relationships do, opportunities do. And sometimes your peace does too. Growing up, you remember the statement, I'm waiting on my ship to come in. Man, your ship bend docked. Crew standing there like, are you gonna get on or what? What are you doing? Meanwhile, you're thinking or overthinking, and the ship has left the port. I mean, some folks keep praying for movement, right? While the car is still in park. Some decisions are delayed long enough. Sometimes they turn into consequences, don't they? If you delay them long enough, because some men don't ruin their lives with bad decisions. We ruin them sometimes by just delaying good ones too long. I remember talking to a gentleman close to me. He shared a story with me that I'll never probably forget. He had gotten a divorce, had a newborn baby, not quite at the same time, but it was in close proximity. And along with that, been offered a job by a Fortune 500 company that presented an opportunity that was a thousand miles away, over a thousand miles. Stay, potentially miss the opportunity, leave, and now you're away from your firstborn. That's really not a simple decision, in my humble opinion. That's a sacrifice. You know what I mean? That's ambiguity. That's pressure. That's painful leadership because sometimes in adulthood there is no perfect outcome. I'll be the first to tell you. Sometimes there's no clinging answer, only responsibility, only consequences that are attached to both sides. He said finally he made a decision to go. Not because it didn't hurt, not because it was easy, but because life was demanding a decision. See, gentlemen, you won't always be choosing between good and bad. Sometimes life just hands you two painful realities, and leadership is having the courage to live with the outcome of the choice you make. And let me say this carefully. I'm going to say this carefully. There's this culture where people proudly say now, I ain't putting up with nothing. I mean, we're proud to say that, right? But brother, if you don't know how to endure anything, you probably won't build anything lasting either. And let me let me drop a footnote here. Who are you to say what you'll do, what you'll put up with? What you'll endure, how long you'll last. Who are you to say that? I mean, those of you who know, I'm in Bible country right now. But social media has perpetrated a fraud on people. It's teaching people, don't work through nothing. Don't push through nothing. Don't fix nothing. Don't build through difficulty. If anything disturbs your peace, your comfort, your feelings, your convenience, get rid of it. That's what we're being taught. It's an example of no patience, no endurance, no weather in the storms, no growing through any tension. But everything meaningful in life eventually becomes a little uncomfortable. Fatherhood does, leadership does, growth does. And what people really don't realize or get that mindset becomes detrimental over time. Because the moment discomfort shows up, they abandon everything. One bad manager, one disrespectful moment, one awkward interaction with a church member, and folks disappear like they're in the witness protection program. Never come back. And now I'm protecting my peace, right? No. No. Sometimes you just don't know how to deal with discomfort. Because if every uncomfortable moment makes you leave, you're gonna spend your whole life restarting instead of growing. Let that sit. I mean, folks quitting stuff so fast, I mean, they quitting so fast now, you don't even know what happened. Man quit a bowling league because they changed the nacho cheese. Man, this ain't the same atmosphere no more. Brother, what atmosphere are you talking about? It's Tuesday night bowling. No. Sometimes you just need maturity. Think about it. I mean, you can't build anything lasting if your response to discomfort is always an exit. I mean, raising kids, right? Uncomfortable moments sometimes. I mean, they're uncomfortable moments. You think the babies want to hear no all day? You think they enjoy discipline, structure, direction? Is that what you think? Consequences. Sometimes your child mad at you and mine because we're parenting correctly. But if every time parenting got uncomfortable, you backed away. You wouldn't raise strong children, I guarantee you that. They'll be weak as tissue paper. You raise emotionally fragile adults, right? And purpose, uncomfortable too. Because purpose, it'll make you get up early, like I do. Burn the midnight oil, right? It'll test your authenticity. It'll test your vision. Keep building when nobody's clapping. That's what purpose will do. Sometimes purpose feels lonely. I mean, I'm in second wind country now. Sometimes purpose feels unfair, but that's the problem now. People want purpose with no, I mean, what they want purpose with the comfort package included, like buying a brand new Lincoln navigating asking, uh, does this have the luxury package too now? I mean, come on. Sir, brother, the sacrifice package comes standard on every model. The uncomfortable conversations, the lonely season, the discipline, that all comes with it. Now, let me give you something real. From my own life. Back when I was in corporate America, I filled a management role. I mean, I handled the pressure, handled the people, handled the expectation. And then the interview time came, and I didn't get the position. Not once, but twice. And I still remember driving home quietly. No music, no phone calls, just me and my thoughts. And I was thinking, man, after all that, I still wasn't enough. Now that will test a man. Because disappointment has a voice. I know this because that is the reason. Go back and listen to the episodes, the first few of Second Wind. That's the reason I started Second Wind. Because disappointment has a voice. Man, you deserve this. They overlooked you. Forget this company. Stop giving effort, right? And for a while, they were paying me just enough for me not to quit, and I was working just hard enough for me not for me not to get fired. Because here's what we secretly believe. If we work hard, right, do right, stay loyal, and sacrifice, life should produce a predictable outcome. That's what we believe. No, sir. Sometimes you do everything right and still don't get picked. That is where maturity gets tested. Not necessarily when life rewards you, but when it doesn't. And if you're not careful, pain will start making decisions for you. And hurt people, make expensive decisions. I'm here to tell you firsthand. I pay for a few. Decisions that cost relationships, years, opportunities. And this is where a lot of people lose their future. Not in the decision itself, but in what they start saying after disappointment. Be careful what your mouth agrees with. I'm telling you, I'll never recover. This is what you hear. Nothing ever works for me. Why even try? Fellows, words are seeds. And eventually, whatever you keep planting starts growing. There's power in the tongue, make no mistake. Some people's lives changed because their mouth stopped working against their future. Does that make sense? Not because it's hard to build confidence while speaking, defeat. I mean it's hard to build confidence, hard to build momentum while constantly cursing where you are. Stop agreeing with failure, with fear, with limitations. Because leadership also means learning how to speak life while you're still building. Does that make sense? I mean, you understand what I'm saying. And then there's the opposite side, some men just wait too long, too long to apologize, too long to lead, too long to start, too long to become accountable, and eventually the shelf life, it'll expire. Let that sit for a moment. Because a delayed decision, it has consequences too. Children disconnect. Health can decline, opportunities can disappear. This is what happens when you delay a decision, right? This is why wisdom matters. Wisdom helps you recognize, help us recognize not just talent. Wisdom knows when to move. Some of us are playing praying for clarity when deep down we already know what needs to happen. We just don't want the discomfort attached to the decision. And leadership, I'm talking about real leadership now. These are uncomfortable decisions we have to make at times. Understand something. This episode is not about regret. Because if you still have breath, and you do if you hear me, you still have time to move differently. You're not too old. I'll keep saying that. You're not too late, you're not disqualified. And another thing, a lot of us become fathers young. Started families young, took on responsibility as a young man. And young is not always a number. Sometimes young can be a mindset because a lot of men will raise children before they even know who they really are. Leading families, got a wife, while still trying to discover themselves, making permanent decisions with temporary maturity. I know. I've been there. And this makes life difficult because you don't even have a reference point at a certain age. You haven't even healed yet. From you haven't dropped the baggage that you're carrying yet. Basically, you haven't matured yet. You haven't learned yourself yet. But there's something powerful about becoming a seasoned man, second wing. Because now you move with more wisdom, more patience, more clarity, more intentionality. So if you become a father later, found purpose later, or find yourself later, that does not mean you're behind. Sometimes the second wind season happens because now you finally have the maturity to handle what life is asking of you. So maybe you weren't late. Maybe you were being prepared. You've heard me say this, and maybe that's who this episode is really for. The man who became a father later. There's a difference between late and later. The man who found purpose later, the man rebuilding later, the man trying to lead right now better than he did before. Because a second wind season requires decisions too. Hard decisions sometimes, delayed decisions, uncomfortable decisions. And I want you to understand something. Just because you started late or I started late, it doesn't mean life is over. Because the distance between where you are and where you're supposed to be is often one hard decision away. And sometimes your second win begins with a decision. That decision.