TOP GUN: Life Gets Better When You Get Better

 Comparison is a thief. It steals peace, confidence, gratitude, and identity. In this episode, KR Henderson talks about comparison, health, late-life fatherhood, pressure, exhaustion, and why life gets better when YOU get better — not when you keep chasing everybody else’s timeline.

#SecondWindPodcast #SecondWindWithKRHenderson #KRHenderson #WHOY #WorkHarderOnYourself #LifeGetsBetterWhenYouGetBetter #ComparisonIsAThief #YoureNotLateYoureAssigned #TruthWithOxygen #MensMentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #MensGrowth

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

A lot of men feel like right now they're losing a race that they will really never assign to run. Everybody moving fast, acting like they've reached milestones, pretending like they've arrived, and somewhere in all that noise, men started feeling behind, aka late. Now let me ask you something. Who told you your life was too slow? Your success was too small. Your progress wasn't enough. Was it God? Because this reminds me of when God asked Adam, who told you you were naked? In other words, who introduced you to shame? Who introduced you to insecurity? I mean, who taught you to see yourself differently than how he created you? And that's what comparison does, isn't it? It changes how we see ourselves. Or maybe it was your inner voice talking to you after too much comparison. I know that voice all too well. I promise you I do. Because actually, this is how the inception of Second Wind began. But I want to tell you, brothers, it's a lie. And a lie is anything repeated long enough that you start accepting it as truth. And that's what comparison is. And it's dangerous. It's very dangerous. Comparison will make a blessed man feel unsuccessful, a progressive man feel like he's stuck. A disciplined man feel overwhelmed, and a peaceful man lose his peace. All because he keeps measuring in real life his real life against somebody else's presentation. I want you to hear me now. And while I was on my knees, after this conversation we just alluded to, I was on my knees. It was given to me. Comparison is a thief. It steals peace, it steals appreciation, gratitude. It'll even steal your confidence. And the dangerous part, most men, most people for that matter, don't even realize they've been robbed. Because comparison, it's not one of those things that kick the door in, right? Comparison whispers, ps, you should be further along by now, my man. You're late. Right? I remember years ago in my corporate life, my manager had an accurate TL. And man, I wanted one bad. I rode with him multiple times in that car. He was cutting corners and weaving in and out of traffic, and I was like, mm, man, I could do this. I mean, it was a sharp car. Clean, successful looking, had executive energy, right? And after my divorce, I finally bought one. Yes, I did. But here's what's crazy, right? There wasn't even an excitement attached to it. You know, when you buy something, a purchase that large, that big, you get excited. I wasn't even excited. No celebration, no fulfillment, no peace. It was just drab, like a cloudy day. I mean, my battery was drained. And the day I bought it, I sat up that night thinking about a mortgage, child support for two kids, and a 700 plus car note, even though they were covering it through a car allowance. Not to mention insurance, right? And the next day, I took it back. Don't laugh. I mean, I'm sure you've had something you purchased that you either took back or wished you could have, right? But for me, I realized something. I didn't buy that car for peace. I bought that car from comparison. Looking back now, I realize now comparison comes with a price tag, a cost, and consequences. And if you're not careful, you'll pay all three. And comparison doesn't always come from social media either. Sometimes it comes from real life. My daughter just told me last week something. She said one of her friends' dads passed from a heart attack at the age of 55. And it made me stop and reflect. I mean, it made me pump the brakes, really. Because I was thinking about age, thinking about health, I mean, just thinking about longevity. Because when I become a father, or when you become a father, when when you do you start, I mean, later in life, you start thinking a little bit differently. Not just about success anymore, not about having the accoutrements of life, of money. You start thinking about sustainability and being here, about being healthy, strong enough, being present enough to enjoy the life that you're building in your later years. I mean, I've always been serious about health, to be quite honest with you. Those of you who know me, you know I played ball in school, and um, but I've always felt like health and fitness mattered. And I've always said God is in control of the health part, but we have something to say about the fitness side of it. I mean, I used to personal train in my 30s. I still work out two to five times a week. In the last three months, I started fasting. I fasted 48 hours one month. The next month I fasted 96 hours. Not necessarily for fitness, but for health. I mean, do your homework on fasting. You'll be surprised, pleasantly surprised. God was not guessing. Matter of fact, I know he wasn't guessing when he started talking about fasting. So don't sleep on it. As a matter of fact, one of the four pillars in my Amazon best-selling book, The Lions Den, the Four Pillars of Male Success, is health and fitness. And you know why? Because when you're healthy, you have a thousand problems. When you get sick, you have only one. Think about that. So, good man, your health has to be prioritized. And fellas, Lo libido got some of y'all acting real spiritual. I mean, talking about it's not about that anymore. Brother, yes, it is. The issue is you're exhausted. Not guarding your health. And this is not a one-time thing. This is ongoing. I mean, I'm right here in the battle. I mean, I'll tell you so you'll understand. I'm not teaching this. I'm this is confession. I'm living this. And a lot of people don't even realize you're not lazy. You got low T most of the time, especially when you get to this age. If you hadn't gone to the doctor, and comparison will have people sacrificing their sleep, their peace, their health, trying to look successful. Come on, man. Brother, what good is it arriving? Okay, if you're falling apart when you get there. And honestly, I decided to start back playing pool again. Not at the level I used to play at. I mean, I'm not trying to prove anything to anybody, but well, maybe I am. Maybe I want to prove something to myself sometimes. But just letting the air out of the balloon. Because every man needs something healthy that slows his mind down. Something that lets him breathe. Does that make sense? Something that quiets the noise of the world. I mean, that's working out, pool, and cooking for me. I mean, it could be golf, mowing the lawn for you, whatever. Because if all you ever do is grind, perform and chase and compete, eventually, you'll forget how to live, man. I mean, don't lose your identity. I mean, it's like a vampire looking in the mirror and saying, Where am I? Brother, you're the vampire. That's the problem. Let me explain. What I mean is, you've been trying so hard to become everybody else that you've disappeared in the process. You stop hearing yourself, you stop trusting yourself, you stop developing yourself, and now you've even you look differently. You don't even recognize yourself, you don't even look the same. Who you become. Who you become. And let me say this. Comparison will do that to you. We're not supposed to be copying, mimicking, or becoming everybody else. We're supposed to be transformed, not conformed by the renewing of our minds. And make no mistake, there is nothing worse than a cheap copy of a great original. And when you decide not to work harder on yourself, that's where that whoa WHO Y comes in. When you decide that, then you've decided to become a cheap copy of a great original. Because comparison will make you abandon your own design. It'll make you abandon God's design for you, trying to imitate somebody else in life. And if you're not careful, if I'm not careful, if we are not careful, you stop thinking for yourself, you start hearing other people, you stop knowing yourself, and eventually you become just another brick in the wall. Thinking the same, talking the same, reacting the same, comparing the same, chasing the same things everybody else is. Everybody's rushing. Everybody. Rushing to be seen, rushing to be rich, some rushing to be married, some. I mean, but rushing to arrive, and because people feel behind, they start making emotional decisions, bad financial decisions, right? Bad relationship decisions, bad life decisions, all because they feel late. But let me help you. Let me help somebody right now. You are not behind. You might be in preparation, healing, rebuilding. You might be developing discipline. Or you might be earning wisdom that you'll be able to use later. See, every season doesn't look successful, does it? Some seasons are construction seasons. Believe me, make no mistake, and construction is loud, right? Think about it, it's messy, slow, and sometimes it's uncomfortable. But people only post the finished building. You don't see anybody posting a scaffold or posting loneliness or uncertainty. Nobody posted the years they were invisible. That's why comparison is dangerous because you're comparing your unfinished life to somebody else's highlight reel. And let me give y'all some honesty. I mean, I'm good with me. As arrogant as that may sound, I love me. I'm just about two million dollars short of complete peace, but that's a whole nother subject. But seriously, peace does not come from catching everybody else. Peace becomes from being who you were assigned to be. That's why whoa, working harder on yourself matters. Because life gets better when you get better. Not when you impress more people, not when you post more success, not even when you want to satisfy strangers online. Life gets better when you get better. Man, stop panicking, bro. Stop comparing. Stop rushing your life trying to match somebody else's timeline. Because comparison has made a lot of people abandon the process, I promise you. Right before the growth shows up. How about that? Right before the growth shows up. I'm K.R. Henderson. This is Second Win, truth with oxygen.