Day 11: Chest Pains, Frustration, and Finding Clarity

Today's episode starts with another Rebecca memory that still makes me laugh. After borrowing clothes from her closet (yesterday's story), she asked me to help remove a splinter from her foot. The second I touched the needle to her foot, she let out a scream that could've woken the neighbors...and I laughed so hard that we never actually got the splinter out. 😂

Then I share why yesterday's episode never happened.

Instead, I found myself in the emergency room with acute chest pain that radiated into my back and shoulder. Thankfully, I'm home today, but the experience left me with a lot to think about.

I spend a few minutes venting my frustration with healthcare before arriving at a realization that surprised even me. I don't think my frustration is really with doctors. I think it's with a system where the business side of medicine often seems to overshadow the care side. Doctors are expected to balance policies, paperwork, productivity, and people—and somewhere in the middle, patients can feel like they're just another appointment on the schedule.

It's an honest, unedited conversation about fear, frustration, compassion, and trying to see the bigger picture...all after one unforgettable splinter story.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Good morning, everyone. Welcome to another edition of 10 Unedited Minutes with Marlena. It is Thursday, July 2nd, and it's hot. It's very hot. Um, but before we get into it today, today's episode is sponsored by my uh very good dear friend Rebecca Conklin Kleibomer. And Rebecca has agreed to sponsor this podcast for the next two months. And um as a way to thank her and to honor her, I have decided that we are going to start each episode with a uh memory of uh Rebecca and I's friendship. So um two days ago, I did not well, let me start that sentence over. I did not record a podcast yesterday, and we're gonna get into that today. But two days ago, um, I shared the memory of when Rebecca uh cleaned out her closet and graciously, generously um shared her wardrobe with me. And um yeah, I was very grateful for that. But there's more to that memory, and I wanted to save it for the next time. So once uh on that day, once we were finished uh going through her wardrobe, we're down uh her whatever, we're in her house, and and she shares with me that she has a splinter in her foot. Rebecca, I just heard you cackle. Um and I said, Well, let me look at it. Maybe I can get it out. So she lays down on her couch, puts her foot up, and I said, I need a uh needle and a tweezers. And she got all that for me, and I barely, she will disagree. I barely touched her foot with that needle, and she screamed so loud, she said, That's enough, you're done, you're not getting it out. I'm I'm sorry, but that was funny, but I don't think I got that splinter out for you, Rebecca. Did I? But anyway, um, I love you dearly. I love our friendship, I love the good times, the funny times, and everything in between. Um, and you also taught me to be grateful on days when um it's hard. And as I said, I've started a gratitude jar. If you're on YouTube, you can see it right here. If you are listening, listen. That's my gratitude jar. So we are going to write down something we are grateful for. And I want to tell you, uh, talk to you today before I write in my gratitude jar. So in case I get off on a tangent, we're gonna keep my gratitude jar right here in front of me with the piece of paper right here in front of me. So let's get into it. Why was it why didn't I record yesterday? Guys, I swear to God, I cannot make this shit up. I I don't know what is going on with me, but I ended up back in the emergency room yesterday. And this time it was for my heart. And I joked with my um daughter that I have such a broken heart from, you know, finishing my time up with my priest that it broke my heart, which is is a true thing. I'm not making light of that, but that wasn't what it was. So here's the story. A few days ago, I noticed like it felt like somebody just took a pencil and poked me on my left boob. I thought that's weird. And then it went into my back, the shoulder, my shoulder on my back. I'm like, that's weird. I didn't think anything of it. Next day, it happened again, and it was very distinct, like somebody just you know, took a pencil and pressed against my chest. And it happened again the next day. And then that that night, um, I felt like it happened again. Went into my back and kind of my arm started hurting a little bit, but I wasn't, I was like, okay, whatever. And I feel like I either dreamt that it woke me up that night or it actually woke me up. But the next morning I got up and I felt it again, and my arm hurt. My chest just felt weird, it just felt really like thick, you know. I couldn't, I couldn't think of a different word. So I thought, well, I'm just gonna take a shower. So I take a hot shower, and while I'm in the shower, I'm starting to feel like I start to see some, you know, black dots or whatever, and I just start feeling a little lightheaded. And I'm like, okay, this isn't good. So I get out of the shower, I get dressed, whatever. I thought I'm just gonna sit down in my recliner and just, you know, just sit here for a minute. And so stupid me, I start Googling my symptoms, and I swear to God, if Google, which I'm sure it can, figure this technology out, but if Google could have dialed in a 911 for me, it probably would have because you know the the little Google AI, it kept asking, are you on your way to the hospital? Have you called your doctor? Is somebody driving? Please tell me somebody's driving you to the hospital. So, because and you know, at this point I thought, I just pulled a muscle, right? Like, I don't know. It was either a pulled muscle or I was having a heart attack. But my daughter gets up and she comes out and she's like, You okay? And I said, Well, you know, and I told her what was going on, and she goes, because she's a massage therapist, and I wanted her to see if I had a pulled muscle. And she said, Mom, if you are having that kind of pain in your chest, you need to go to the doctor. And I'm like, oh, whatever. I rolled my eyes. She goes, if you don't call your doctor, I'm going to call her for you. I was like, okay, fine. So I called my family doctor. And first of all, my family doctor is out for the next two weeks. I would have gone to see somebody else, it don't matter. But they told me that if I would have walked in there with those symptoms, they would have um immediately told me to go to the emergency room and I would not have been able to leave. I would have had to go by squad. I said, okay, fine. So I hang up and Haley goes, Are you gonna go to the hospital? And I just, I just was like, I don't want to. I don't want to. And in my mind, I was like, I'm gonna waste my whole day there. They're not gonna find anything wrong with me. I j I just don't want to. And Haley goes, Mom, you need to go get checked out. And I'm like, No. And she goes, if you don't go, I'm gonna drag you out of this house and you're gonna fine. So I'm like kicking and screaming and cussing the whole way because I I just knew. I just knew that we were gonna sit there all goddamn day. They weren't gonna find anything wrong, and it was gonna be a complete waste of my day. By the way, which was the first day in a very long time that I didn't have anything planned on the calendar. So I was looking forward to that. Whatever. So we get to the hospital. Now I'm I'm starting to go off on a little rampage here. And if you are a doctor or any kind of medical professional, I appreciate you, I respect you. Please listen to the end, okay? So we get to the hospital, and I tell them my symptoms, and I mean, it within five minutes, they took me back, of course. And I get back there, they get me in a gown, get me on the bed, get me hooked up to an EKG machine. And by this time, my oldest daughter is there, who, if you need somebody to advocate for you, she she'd be the one. Um, because little side note here, my youngest daughter is absolutely terrified of anything medical. And I'll tell you a story about that later. But um, and she has good reason to be terrified. And I respect it, I am sympathetic to it for her, and you know, I am so grateful she took me, took me yesterday. But anyway, knowing that she has those fears. Anyway, my oldest daughter's there by then. They get the EKG, and Hannah says to the nurse, now, based on your judgment, does that EKG look okay? And the nurse says, Yeah, it looks good to me. Okay, fine. So she leaves. Um, and I knew there oh no, she started an IV on me, and she knew that they were gonna need blood work. It's probably a standard procedure for somebody with chest pains, 48 years old, or whatever. So she takes all the blood work and um she leaves. The doctor comes shuffling in. What's going on today? And I told him, he's like, okay, we're gonna do some blood work. We'll probably do a chest x-ray, and you already had your EKG. Okay, fine. So we sit there. Within 30 minutes of them sucking that blood out of my arm, the test results were back on my chart. And of course, I started looking at them. Who wouldn't, right? So there was a few abnormalities, and the one was my I'm gonna butcher this word, trite tritonon levels, which is after Googling it, the level they test to see if you have or are having or have had a heart attack. And mine was high, and I immediately just put my phone down, didn't say anything, and the kids asked me something, and I just didn't say anything. And I said, you know what, we're just gonna let the doctors come in. Two hours go by, and the nurse comes back in, doesn't say anything, and she says, Oh, we test your tritonon levels, and we always like to retest those two hours after the first time. I'm like, okay, fine, in my head, knowing that the first one was high, and that's probably why they're testing it, but whatever. So they suck another vial of blood out of my other arm and take it off to the lab. Now, I forgot to mention this part. I had not ate anything that day, right? So by 11 o'clock, I was starving. I had asked the nurse at least three times if I could have any water or at least a little pack of crackers, something. I was starving. The kids were starving. They had left and gone gone and got freaking QB, and I sit there with ready to eat the walls of this room.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

So they take the second vial of blood and we wait. We wait.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

I have to pee. And I'm hooked up. I'm hooked up to all these machines. So I call my nurse. What can I do for you? I said, I have to go to the bathroom. Okay, I'll tell your nurse. Thirty minutes goes by. I'm ready to just pee in the bed. I have to pee so bad. Push the button again. Okay, we'll get somebody in there. Well, finally, some little candy striper, 12-year-old, comes in. She unhooks my stuff. She unhooked my blood pressure cuff wrong, and that's important here in a minute. Walks me to the bathroom, there you go, and just walks away. Now, mind you, when I walked in there, I walked in there with a wheelchair. The nurse accompanied me to the bathroom, thinking I was going to fall and pass out. This little 12-year-old just, okay, there you go, and walks away. Okay. So I get back to the room, sit in the bed, and I'm like, I'm not going to hook any of this back up. First of all, I didn't really know how. Second of all, it was setting alarms off, and I figured that would alert them to come in and hook it up. 15 minutes goes by. I press my button. And this other nurse comes in, and she's very sweet, by the way, and um um ended up we kind of had some connections because she's from um the area here. And honey, if you are listening, I love you. You put up with my bitchiness and still left that room smiling. And thank you. But anyway, she comes in. She goes, What can I do for you? I said, You think you want to hook this shit back up on me? And and I'm sorry, but that's just how I talked. And she's like, Oh, okay. So she couldn't get the blood pressure cuff put back together because the girl took it off wrong. So she's starting to get a little irritated. And she finally gets everything hooked up, and I said, Do you think maybe I could get something to eat? And by this time I am fucking hangry. And she goes, I don't know, are your test results back? I said, I don't fucking know. Nobody's been in here. And she goes, Oh, well, I can look those up. And I said, Listen, I'm sorry, but I have not ate anything yet at all today. I said, I am I'm I'm dying here. So she's like, Well, your test results are back, let me go ask. So she leaves and within 10 minutes comes walking back in with a white box with a turkey sandwich that was I'm gonna be bitchy here, was nasty. Made the day before. It had a pack of chips in it, a pack of animal crackers, and um a little cup of no sugar added applesauce, and a blue Gatorade that I hated because it was the same Gatorade that I had to mix a laxative with five years ago to have a colonoscopy, uh normal or a routine colonoscopy, and I cannot drink that fucking Gatorade to this day. Anyway, that's what she gave me. And I ate it. It was gross, but I ate it. Listen, I turned that hospital upside down for that fucking food, I ate it, and I felt better. So time goes on and the test results are back. And by the way, I checked on my chart and that tritonon levels had come back down. So I'm like, okay, not knowing what that means, I was like, I'm just gonna wait on the doctor. And finally, after I turned the hospital upside down because I was so fucking hungry, the doctor probably realized that he fucking forgot about me and came back in there and says, Oh, well, your test results came back, and your triton, tritonon levels were high on the first one, but they came back down in range on the second one. So whatever you have going on is not critical. It's it's you know, but I think you need to get checked out by a cardiologist. And I'm like, okay. So when can you come back? I said, Oh, you're gonna schedule that right now? Yes, we need to schedule it right now. Okay, fine. So I'm going back on Monday to see a cardiologist. Now, rant over. Oh, wait. He's like, okay, we'll get you out of here.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

An hour later, they come in and release me. Now that I'm done with that rant, I understand that when you are in an emergency room, you are treated by level of acuteness, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:11

I get it. And I don't usually get upset about waiting forever in an emergency room. However, whatever they did with me yesterday could have been done in two hours in a doctor's office, minus maybe, I don't even know. They can do any, I don't even know. And I was just irritated by it. And I I think I come to a realization yesterday, or this morning, after reflecting on this, that there is not a doctor, nurse, specialist, profess medical professional in in this world. I mean, there's not, I don't think there is, that genuinely just doesn't care about the human beings, about the people they see and the people they care for. I believe you get into that profession because you care about people, right? And you're a little scientific scientific and you are interested in the human body, but you care about people. What I think happened is the medical community in this country has gotten so fucked up because of big pharma, our government stepping in, that the medical professionals are fighting against that, and society in general has just gotten cruder and ruder and rougher and tougher, and they're fighting against that. So that's the variable where I think it comes in and it makes them look like they don't give a shit, or they're idiots, or whatever, and that's what frustrates me about going to the doctor. It's not that the doctors or the nurses take forever and don't give a shit. They care. What irritates me is they have put money, financial gain, and business over our well-being. That's what irritates me. And that's what I'm witnessing when I go to the hospital and that and to the doctors. And one of my doctors actually had that conversation with me and admitted it. And they're an older doctor, and they said that it's made it very hard to doctor properly, and to actually doctor to the illness and to the patient versus to the fucking insurance company.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

So that's what irritated me yesterday. And now I have to go see a fucking cardiologist. So whatever.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

But my gratitude jar. What I'm grateful for, I got to spend yesterday in an actual air-conditioned building versus my house, which is half-assed air conditioned, because we have a half-assed air conditioner that is not big enough for the rheumatin, and it's not able to even keep up with an 80-degree day.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

So I was in an AC yesterday at the hospital. That's what I'm writing on my gratitude slip today. 72.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

And by the way, yesterday was my husband's birthday, and yeah, so I felt bad that uh we spent it like that. But um, when I got home, the kids came over, we had my husband's favorite meal, which was pizza, and my daughter made a delicious cake, and um we got some Dairy Queen ice cream and had that with the cake. So, and I'm still burping that pizza this morning, by the way. But um, anyway, it ended up being a great day, and there were a lot of times when I had to think about the positive in a negative situation, and I'm sure I'm fine, whatever, I'm fine, I'm fine. This is stupid. I'm fine. But um, I will go on Monday to the cardiologist. If you guys are all worried about that, like my kids, you don't have to take me kicking and screaming. I will go get it checked out because it did freak me out that that trechinon level went up and I don't know why. And if I am having a heart attack, then I'm not ready to uh go home yet to our Lord and Savior. So we're gonna get this checked out and taken care of. Anyway, that's all we have for today because that took me 20 minutes to explain to you, and I need to go spend the day with my best friend because I'm sure she is almost here, and I need to get this podcast posted. So thank you, Rebecca, for being an amazing friend. I love you. I love you. Thank you for the clothes, thank you for making me laugh today about the splinter. You're amazing. And thank you guys for listening. If you love this podcast, you want to see us, see it succeed, you too can be a sponsor. Um, I just ask for $25 a month, and that just basically covers my Buzz Sprout subscription, which is the platform that pushes this out to Apple Podcasts, um, Spotify, Prime Music, all the good ones. So have a great day, you guys. I love you. Pray for me. I will pray for you, and we will see you tomorrow. Bye.