Day 18: Why Is Mental Health So Hard to Talk About?

There are some conversations that don't come naturally.

Today's episode is one of them.

Mental health isn't something I've ever felt completely comfortable talking about—not because it isn't important, but because I've always worried about saying the wrong thing. Instead of waiting until I had all the answers, I decided to simply be honest.

In this episode, I share why these conversations can feel so difficult, how they've changed over the years, and why sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do is simply check in on someone we care about.

I'm still learning how to talk about mental health...and maybe that's exactly where the conversation begins.

If today's episode encourages you to reach out to one person, ask one sincere question, or remind someone they aren't alone, then these ten unedited minutes were worth it.

Thank you for spending a few minutes with me today.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Good morning everyone. Welcome to another edition of 10 unedited minutes with Marlena. It is Tuesday, July 14th, and It's actually really beautiful help. Anyway, so let's get started. This episode is brought to you by my dear friend, Rebecca Conklin Kleibomer. Rebecca has agreed to sponsor me for two months worth of my podcast episodes. And she has done so because she loves me, she believes in me, and she thinks this work I'm doing is amazing. So thank you, Rebecca. I love you so much, and I just love all the support that I'm getting for this podcast. And if anybody else would like to sponsor me, you can do so. It's just a small investment of $25 a month, and that just covers my Bud Sprout subscription. Bud Sprout is the platform that pushes this podcast out to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and any other podcast streaming service that you may or may not use. And I also uh record this for YouTube. So to honor my sweet friend Rebecca, I have decided to dedicate the next uh 60 episodes to her. And to do that, I want to start each episode with a sweet memory of Rebecca and I's friendship, or just loving on Rebecca for a little bit. In the last couple, like there's been a few times where I've kind of integrated um my Rebecca memory in with my podcast, and I think we're gonna try to do that today. So let's get into it, okay? So I want to talk about mental health today, and I I spent like all night thinking about this. I woke up thinking about it, and I debated about whether or not I wanted to talk about it. But you know what? When I sit down at this microphone, it's like sitting down and talking to my best friend. By the way, if you're on YouTube, you see that little line on my face, I'm just gonna call it out. That is from my CPAP machine, and it goes away throughout the day. But I look I did. I woke up not even a half hour ago. Anyway, let's talk about mental health. So I think my very first introduction to the fact that you can have a mental health illness was when um my sister started her uh journey with mental health. Um she was probably about well, I was 18, so she probably would well, not probably, she was 19. And um she I don't even remember how it started, but she told my mom that she was depressed and something really bad had happened to her. We didn't know if it was true or not, but um, that's when she started to struggle with uh depression. And that was, you know, back in the day when people didn't really talk a lot about mental health, like the open conversations we are having now in today's society about mental health would have never happened um back in the 90s, which is when I was, I'm giving away my age. But anyway, um, and so it just was really hard to treat and it was really hard to diagnose. And so my sister, she really did struggle with that. And now that you know mental health is in the spotlight, um, I think it's great because you know, having something wrong with with the chemical makeup of your brain, I feel like is is very similar to having you know something wrong with your heart, right? So you get it treated and you get it taken care of. And um I I I take um an anxiety pill, and yeah, the last year has been rough for me, and um my mental health has probably not been the greatest. And there's other people in my life that have, you know, that struggle with their mental health as well. And this one person in particular um is has been open about it with me, and I'm so grateful. I am really glad that this person feels like they can trust me to talk about this stuff. And um something happened once that really concerned me. And I feel bad that I that I so something happened that concerned me with this person, and after it happened, I was like, I don't think they're okay, I think they're going through something right now, but I hesitated to um talk to them about it, and after everything was said and done, I was like, why did I hesitate? I ended up talking to the person and I I told them that um I'm here for them, and I said, I'm just checking in, right? I guess the point that I'm trying to get to is if you know somebody who is struggling with their mental health, do not be afraid to call them, to go to them, to see them, to talk to them, and just ask them if they're okay. Because in my mind, it would be better for you to ask them and be just a tiny bit embarrassed by it than for you not to ask them and then something really, really bad happens. And you could have stopped it. You could have you could have, you know, completely turned that person's day around just by turning around and asking them if they're okay. And I just kind of glazed over my sister's mental health because I don't even know why, because, but that that's where I was gonna integrate my Rebecca story into this podcast. So let's go back to there. So as you all know, my sister passed away uh oh 2012 or 2013, and I truly feel like it was a result of her struggle with mental health. So my sister was um very obese, and she had a great love of food. It was the only thing that could make her happy in the end, and her obesity caught up with her and um eventually took her life. Her lungs couldn't keep up with the weight of her body, and she had to be put on a ventilator. I feel like I've told this story on this podcast before, but um, she decided she didn't want to live on a ventilator anymore, so we put her in hospice, they took her off the vent, and she passed away uh about 15 hours later. But anyway, um we had two weeks to say goodbye to her. She made the decision and then said in two weeks, I'm gonna do this. But when it when when she passed away, even though we were all prepared for it, it still was very, very difficult. Um, nobody, no mom should have to bury her child. And that was my sister, and we were 13 months apart. And um, yeah, it still was really, really hard. So, but Rebecca was there. Surpr I mean, you guys are not surprised by this anymore because I've I've really showed that uh Rebecca is a caring person and would literally drop anything to help you, and she was she was there for me, and I remember um I my memory is foggy about this, but I think she went shopping for my daughters and bought them dresses for the uh the funeral. I think she did. And she drove them to my parents' house and we sat there and she got to see uh the farm. I didn't grow up on it, but it's you know, it it it's what my dad created and worked so hard for for um all those years before uh whatever. Um, but it was just really, really nice and sweet, and I love Rebecca for just always being there for me. And I know that if I told her that I was struggling with mental health, she would drop everything and come down. But um, I don't I mean, I feel like I danced around that, but um, I danced around the whole mental health topic, and I don't want to be like that. I just want to be able to openly talk about mental health with anybody, and I hope that this podcast helped somebody, or maybe it was just a big jumbled mess and you guys don't even know what I'm talking about, but that's what this podcast is, right? The bottom line is check on your people, guys. Check on your people. Call them, talk to them, love them, send them a text, and just showing somebody that you care could really change their day, change the dynamic of their life, right? So yeah, I love you guys, and I love that there's so many people out there that love me, and I try to reciprocate that, you know, to other people and um lean on God. If you don't think you have anybody, you have God. He's always He's the one constant, the one constant in your life that you can lean on and lean into that. So let's talk plans for the day. Today I am very happy. My calendar is completely white, meaning there's nothing on it, and that is I don't even the first day in probably a year that there was nothing written on that calendar for anybody. My family shares a calendar, so my daughter puts her her um appointments on there. My both my daughters put their appointments on there. I put my appointments on there, and there's one day on this calendar that nobody had anything to do, absolutely nobody had anything to do. So, what am I gonna do today? I'm gonna work. I have a list of things to do for the icon. I'm doing a little bit more with this podcast now, so I have some editing. See, I'm gonna edit just a little bit of it, take out bits and pieces of it, and use it to promote the podcast. And then I have to set up some social media for my daughter's mini businesses. And I have a freaking cell phone here that I gotta return to Spectrum so we can get our uh trade in for it. It's been laying here for weeks and it's like screaming at me every day. Mail me in. So I'm gonna at least get it packaged up today. That's the goal. And there's one more goal that I'm going to accomplish today. I have lights that need um hung up around my backyard. I'm doing that today, guys. I'm hanging up them damn lights. They have been screaming at me for a week. Hang me up, hang me up. My husband and I sit out there in the evening and I like light around me. So that's what I'm doing today. Um, I hope you feel like this podcast was a train wreck, but I hope you enjoyed it. And um, I hope you are enjoying these podcasts. They are just raw talks from my brain to your ears. And if you like that, great. Maybe I'll try to. I don't even know. I'm not gonna change it. It's 10 unedited minutes with Marlena. You're getting Marlena. You don't like it? How can you not like it? Anyway, thank you guys for listening. I love you, Rebecca. Rebecca, thank you for being an amazing friend. I love you so very much, and I have a surprise coming up for you. Um, I think I'm going to start that here in the next day or so. So I cannot wait. It might extend my podcast out to, you know, a little bit more than 10 minutes, but that's okay because you're so worth it. I love you. You guys pray for me. I pray for you every single day, and we'll see you tomorrow. Bye.