Self-Doubt, Fear of Failure, and Getting Out of Your Own Way

In this episode of the In Full Power Podcast, Jasmine talks about what happens when we count ourselves out before we even try.

She shares the story of how Stephen King almost threw away the first pages of Carrie before it became the book that changed his life. From there, she reflects on how easy it is to reject ourselves first because we’re afraid someone else might do it.

This episode is for anyone who has ever looked at an opportunity and thought, “I’m probably not qualified,” “They probably won’t choose me,” or “What’s the point of trying?” Jasmine shares her own story of almost talking herself out of applying for a job that became her first six-figure role, and why she decided to let them decide instead of deciding no for herself.

If you’ve been waiting until you feel ready, confident, or perfectly qualified, this episode is your reminder to apply anyway, start anyway, speak anyway, and stop standing in your own way.

Transcript

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Hello, my powerful people. This is the Info Power Podcast, and I'm your host, Jasmine Conway. So I want to go back in time a bit to the late 1960s and tell you a story about this man. So he was living in this trailer in Maine with his wife, and they were struggling financially and they could barely make ends meet. And he was working as a high school English teacher. And in his free time, he loved writing novels. And he had submitted his work to so many publishers, but he kept getting rejection letters, one rejection letter after the next. And he kept all the rejection letters and he kept them on a nail on the wall until the nail couldn't hold the weight anymore. That's how many rejection letters he got. And then one day he started writing this novel about a teenage girl who had telekinetic powers, but early on he hit a wall and he stopped feeling confident in his writing and he thought the concept wouldn't work. And he got frustrated after writing just a few pages. So he crumbled up the manuscript and he threw it in the trash can. And it just so happened that his wife, Tabitha, she stumbled upon these papers in the trash and she got a little curious. And so she picked them up and she read them and she couldn't believe that he had just thrown them away. Not only did she think the story was interesting, but she thought it was good. And so when he got home, she handed him the papers and she spoke life into him and she encouraged him to finish the story. And so he listened and he kept writing and he finished the manuscript and he submitted it. And that story, it got accepted. And he received an advance of about $2,500 at the time, which in today's dollars is roughly $15,000. So it wasn't anything crazy. It wasn't life-changing. Well, not yet. But then something happened. The paperback rights they sold for $400,000. And in today's money, that's well over $2 million. And overnight, everything changed. That one story, the one that he almost threw away, it pulled him out of a financial struggle. It changed the trajectory of his whole life. And it opened doors that he could have never imagined. And over time, he went on to sell more than 350 million books worldwide, becoming a household name and one of the most recognized authors in the world. That man was Stephen King. And that story was Carrie. And this is this is the part that gets me. It's not the success, it's not the millions of books, it's not the name that we all know today. The part that really gets me is how close he came to walking away from all of it. How easily that entire future could have ended up in the trash. Because for a moment, he had already decided what it was worth. And I want to be clear, I don't think that he was wrong for feeling discouraged. He had been rejected over and over again. So in some ways, giving up probably felt like the logical thing to do. Probably felt responsible too. Probably felt like he was finally accepting reality. And that's what makes this story so powerful to me because sometimes we don't count ourselves out for no reason. Sometimes we count ourselves out because we have evidence that we should count ourselves out. The rejection that happened, the door that did close, the opportunity that didn't work out, the feedback that we got that stung. But one rejection is not a final verdict. And even a season of rejection is not a life sentence. And sometimes what we call being realistic is actually us just letting old disappointment make the final decision. And that's what I've been thinking about lately. How quickly we do the same thing to ourselves. We don't always need someone else to reject us. We'll do it first. We'll decide that we're not qualified or that we're not ready or that we're not experienced enough or not good enough. And we will be the ones to take a step back before life ever gets the opportunity to respond. And if I'm being real, there's a part of that that feels safe because if I'm the one that disqualifies myself, then I don't have to feel rejected. I don't have to risk being seen trying. And I had a moment where I saw this clearly in my own life. I remember scrolling through job listings and I came across a role that stood out to me. And it looked exciting and it matched with what I wanted for my next job. It seemed like something that I could genuinely do very well. But then I started reading the description, and there it was. They wanted someone who had more experience, more years, more of something that I didn't technically have. And I could feel myself getting discouraged from even applying for it. Not because I couldn't do the job, but because I didn't meet every single qualification. And if I go even deeper, the real fear, it wasn't about the job. It was, well, what if I try and they confirm that I'm not good enough? Because if that's true, then what does that mean about me? So instead, it felt easier to just not apply, to move on, to protect myself from that possibility. But something in me paused, and I remember thinking, why am I disqualifying myself for a decision that isn't even mine to make? Why am I acting like I already got rejected when I haven't even applied? And so I applied. And not only did I get the job, that was my first six-figure role in my 20s. And that same mindset, it carried me into my next role where I made double. And when I look back on that moment, nothing about my qualifications changed overnight. But what did change was my decision not to count myself out. And this shows up everywhere. For work, you read the job description and you already start talking yourself out of it. Oh, they probably want someone with more experience, or I can see that they have hundreds of applicants already. What's the point of me even putting my name in the hat? And so you close the tab, you tell yourself that it just wasn't the right fit. Not because you couldn't do the job, but because you decided that you wouldn't be chosen. And as an entrepreneur, you sit on ideas that are already good enough to start, but you keep tweaking them over and over again. You're waiting until they're perfect, you're waiting until you feel more confident. And by the time you're ready, the moment has already passed. So I want you to really ask yourself this. How many things have you already said no to that were never actually a no? How many opportunities have you labeled as not for you when the truth is you were just afraid to be seen trying? Operating in full power means you stop making final decisions based on temporary doubt. It means you give yourself permission to try before you feel ready, to show up before you feel perfect, to be considered before you feel fully qualified. Because the cost of disqualifying yourself isn't just missed opportunities. It's the version of you that never gets the chance to exist. So I want to leave you with this. Stop volunteering yourself out of rooms you were never removed from. Stop deciding your ceiling before you've ever even touched it. Apply anyway, start anyway, speak anyway, show up anyway, be seen anyway. Let them decide, but don't you dare decide for them. And if there's a part of you that's still hesitating, still questioning, still playing it safe, I want you to hear me clearly. You are not protecting yourself. You are standing in your own way. You are not protecting yourself. You are standing in your own way. Because no one is coming to pull your potential out of the trash. And if you leave it there, that is not life rejecting you. That is you rejecting yourself. So take your power back. Make the decision. Choose yourself, stand in it. Even if you're not fully ready, even if you don't check every box. That's what it looks like to operate in full power. If this resonated with you, share it with another powerful person who needs to hear it. I'm Jaslyn Conway. This is the In Full Power Podcast. I'll talk to you next time.