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Miranda Lee Podcast | Love Fiercely. Land Softly
Miranda Lee is a just turned 40 year old, mom, wife, woman of disability, entrepreneur, writer, speaker and mentor who guides her community to find joy and peace in the ride of life, while learning love, connection and acceptance with all their parts.
She has learnt that her burnout, struggles, story and her emotions are her 'super power' and shares her experiences, health journey and life lessons in a vulnerable, authentic, heart led way. Normalizing and advocating to love fiercely and allowing curiosity, compassion, held space and community to land softly.
Miranda Lee has spent the last decade unlearning perfectionism, shifting from a life of burnout, and reconnecting with her body, heart compass and intuition. She speaks to her journey of inner work, playing the cards life dealt, and how she has positively shifted her personal, family and professional life to be slower, more aligned and more holistic.
Her clients and followers are supported through her writing, speaking, 1:1 mentorship and healing, as well as leading retreats and workshops, sharing tools to own their power, connect with their heart and be their most authentic selves to align with living a beautiful life.
It is here, on this podcast, she continues to advocate and build a community that loves fiercely, to allow everyone to land softly. Normalizing the ride of good times and hard chapters, and allowing intuitive shifts that bring you exactly to where you are meant to be.
Join the journey as she speaks from her heart, and with beautiful people who have walked her path along side her or have their own stories to share.
Kinesiologist/Exercise Physiologist, Yoga Teacher, Postnatal Fitness Specialist, Angel & Holy Fire Reiki Master, Somatic Experiencing, Transformational Breathwork Coach, Kundalini Yoga, Holistic Health & Life Coach, Holistic Youth Wellness Mentor
Miranda Lee Podcast | Love Fiercely. Land Softly
The Way He's Wired: Inside His Mind (A Conversation with My Husband)
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Its funny, its likely relatable, and a great episode to sit down with your friend, partner, husband or wife and discuss or answer these questions from your own perspective and experience while learning about yourself and your partner.
You all loved their last episode (its the most downloaded), and voiced relatability and great appreciation and understanding in some of the harder aspects and chapters they have navigated together in life.
Well, she is joined again by her husband, Alan. The chat this time is light and fun, and more directed towards Miranda (and women) wanting to understand her husbands (or men's) wiring, and give him some time and space to speak to his thoughts, perspectives and his way of carrying out life.
Alan's on the spot and a great sport about it, taking some time to answer a handful of questions Miranda has waiting for him to give HIS angle on (not speaking for other men). Some are her own, and some were submitted by listeners, or things that have come up in conversation with friends and clients.
****IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS OR TOPIC REQUESTS FOR UPCOMING EPISODE, SEND THEM THEIR WAY
Topics:
Reflecting on Our Past Episode: Miranda chats with her husband about some of the feedback she has received, what she has learnt, and speaks to the season they are currently in.
Q & A to better understand my Men (and maybe other men): A variety of topics from what annoys each other about one another, marriage and relationship support, trying to understand how a man thinks, to deeper questions of what the little boy in him needed and why our souls have come together in this lifetime for.
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Check out her Heart Led Writing on Substack:
Welcome to the Brand Lee Podcast. A life fully lived embraces every season, the highs and the lows. Allowing ourselves to love fiercely, feel our feelings, and trust to land. This is a heartless space created for just that. Deep, vulnerable conversations, connections, learning to unlearn, become part of a beautiful community while growing and healing right alongside me. Because everything is easier with support and lived experiences shared with the right kind of people. Let's step off autopilot, get a little uncomfortable, take a breath, and dive right in. Welcome back to the Miranda Lee Podcast. I know a lot of you are excited to uh have me joined with again my husband, Alan. Um Alan, it's been two months since we recorded. Welcome back to the show.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's good to be back.
SPEAKER_01Um, I wanted to share with you, and I think I probably have, but ours is the most downloaded episode.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you've shared that with me.
SPEAKER_01Um we have 178 downloads, but Madeline and I are really catching up.
SPEAKER_00Close second.
SPEAKER_01We are a very close second now, so there's your competition. Just kidding. Um lots of things were shared, and I have probably said this to you, but um, a lot of people were really grateful for your vulnerability as a man, but also with like drinking and alcohol. That was that was a big one. Also, lots of people um said they related a lot on with you and your side of the relationship and communication versus me, which um I thought was really cool. That's awesome. And I also love that um a lot of it came from female friends or listeners who are like, I totally resonate with your husband. So um I guess all the husbands who can resonate with me about my communication style. We actually just talked about this.
SPEAKER_00Was it the communication style, or was it is it like the thought process that goes into the relationship or it was the wanting to talk about shit now?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, the circling back, the lack of ability to circle back. Um yeah, and we were reflecting on that too. I did share this with Alan already, um, but I thought it would be cool just to share with listeners about the fact that like there's a lot of people that are like, yeah, I I resonate with your husband and how he how he holds space for communication. I will say I think it's not that way. Well, we'll get into this today because we're gonna touch on it, but um, our communication style is different now. Like we we can now both meet each other. I don't think you have to like put a rein around me and pull me in and be like, hey, fucking circle back. We do a pretty good job of of meeting each other. Um, so yeah, I thought that was really cool. I also wanted to clarify that I don't call you nine times a day because oh my gosh, my male clients were texting me saying, Oh my gosh, I'm listening to you and your husband talk about how you call him nine times a day. I'm like, I fucking don't. I don't. I promise. Why are you sitting there just giving me a like blank smile like I do?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I just thought that was hilarious. Um, also, on that note, this happened a couple times in the last week where I called you and was like, he's probably gonna be like, she's calling me. And it was super quick, but it was like because it was something funny, and I would have forgot for sure when you came home. And I hate texting because then I don't get to hear your like I don't get to hear your reaction to funny shit or like medical results on stuff. I was like, I'm calling right now, but anyways, I just thought that was funny. Um, also, I wanted to ask you a couple of things. Yeah, what nothing.
SPEAKER_00I'm just looking at your notes. You're looking at me?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I have notes, otherwise, we'd have no direction. Um okay, first of all, what is it like being my partner with my thinking and my brain?
SPEAKER_00What is it like my wordiness? Like sometimes I have to try and not decipher, but ask questions, be like, what what why are you saying it like this? Or because I know you have conversations in your head and they'll just start talking out loud thinking you were talking out loud, and I'll be like, What are you even talking about? Um I don't know. Are you just used to it? Yeah, I don't think it's anything anymore. It's sometimes it's annoying and frustrating because it's like I have to sometimes conversations aren't easy. Um and you put a lot of detail into your stories. So it's a lot of waiting for what actually happened in the story without all the other details. So it's not a good thing.
SPEAKER_01Do I ever do I ever, when you're talking, make you be like when I'm talking? Yeah, like give me more detail.
SPEAKER_00No, because I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_01Why not?
SPEAKER_00Because I don't think because there's three parts to a story. There's a beginning, a middle, and an end. There isn't side quests.
SPEAKER_01This isn't this isn't the Miranda League podcast.
SPEAKER_00This isn't remember those books where you could like choose your own adventure. Choose your own adventure.
SPEAKER_01I've also already said that on my podcast because sometimes it is a choose your own adventure. Well, life is um, it's been interesting because as I shared, it's interesting to learn when you listen to yourself talk. I've un I understand my brain a little bit better, and I'm more aware of some of my habits. And when we're trying to help our son tell a story, and we've been like, take a breath, think about the facts, because he'll talk for 15 minutes about three things like this happened, where, and what was the final detail? And it's hilarious because I'm trying to support him in like okay, lock in. What actually needs to be shared? And then I'm sitting there being like, You're such a fucking imposter because you literally do this all the time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but you're developed in it, you know. Were you always like that? Were you always uh I veer off into nine things before I get to the point of my story? And again, I use the number nine. Yeah, she doesn't do nine things, nine is just a number that is pleasing, it's a pleasing number. Look into it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's just funny because our son is exactly except that he's 11 and I'm 40. Right. Yeah. Um, has sharing the 300-second rule with me changed your life?
SPEAKER_00No, it hasn't.
SPEAKER_01Get out of here. I'm way better.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Uh I feel like you need to dive back into what it used to be like.
SPEAKER_00Oh, maybe.
SPEAKER_01Today I told you if you needed a jacket before we left, that you should go grab one. And you were like, I will just before I leave. And I was like, hmm, it's time to.
SPEAKER_00I typically leave myself to be the last one ready because if I'm the first one ready to leave, then left there waiting. And I don't want to be left there waiting.
SPEAKER_01So you want to know something, actually, that just popped in my head, and I'm like, oh yeah, I've known this about myself. When I was little, I would be ready and waiting because I was so excited. I was always excited for everything. And the being exciting part killed me. And I will also say I used to wait for you to get home and to be ready because you were never packed when we would go somewhere. You'd be the last man packing. And so I learned it's easier for my excitement to just wait till last minute. Like I used to be pack the weekend.
SPEAKER_00Like, I'm not gonna get excited until like what's we're there.
SPEAKER_01Like, what's the well a little bit, but like, what's the point of being so ready that it's just killing me? So yeah, I just learnt, I think it's easier to just be ready when it's time to be ready. And I'm not late very often.
SPEAKER_00I do like the 300-second rule. It's awesome.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I switched it to 600 seconds though to give you 10 minutes. Then 10 minutes, five minutes feels rushed. 10 minutes. Yeah. Um okay. My next question for you is what do I do that annoys you?
SPEAKER_00Ooh. Oh, I don't like these questions.
SPEAKER_01Why? I asked you.
SPEAKER_00I know, I know. Um watching me work.
SPEAKER_01Oh, but I even ask you if you care.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know you like, so I say no because you like it, but like, why would you say no then? Yesterday, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Well, maybe you should speak your truth.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_01Okay, keep going.
SPEAKER_00That that's annoying when you sit and just watch me work.
SPEAKER_01You know what's funny is I know that that annoys you, which is why I ask. Because I'm not trying to annoy you. No, I know I like watching progress.
SPEAKER_00I know, but I think it's I think it's a well, it's definitely a me thing because then I feel like I should be, oh, look how fast I can do this.
SPEAKER_01I'm not watching for that.
SPEAKER_00I know, I know, but it's uh it's like, oh, my performance is being judged. It's not, I know it's not because Oh, there's some inner shit for you to sit with. So it's like, ooh. Okay. It's like, hey, homeowner, don't watch me work. And when I'm working at home, guess what? You're the homeowner.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I know that annoys you. That's why I ask. That's why I ask. Okay. I have to share this because it's fucking hilarious. And I've shared it with my girlfriends, but okay. Do you ever like to annoy me on purpose?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, all the time.
SPEAKER_01Okay, what do you do?
SPEAKER_00Oh anything.
SPEAKER_01Like what? What are the things that annoy me that you do?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I don't know if there's like repeat myself, repeat stupid things constantly.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Like just be like, like just to get a reaction out of it.
SPEAKER_00Just to get a oh my god. Can you stop? Like to overstimulate you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's nice.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh what I mean, what other things? What do you mean? Like that's that's how I try to win.
SPEAKER_01Well, could like I like to scare you.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I know that drives you nuts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. Just to I just like to be obnoxious, yeah. Obnoxiously annoying. Okay, and then get that reaction out of you and be like, well, there it is. There's that. That's your limit. You couldn't take that no more.
SPEAKER_01Okay, my favorite thing that I've done lately or recently to annoy you is we have a comforter in the trailer that's a queen size, and I have an old duvet cover that's a king's size, and it's weight big. And when we were getting ready to go camping, I know that you know I plotted this because I couldn't keep my shit together. I literally packed this king size duvet cover, and I do like the color of it better. But I was like, hey, want to help me with this?
SPEAKER_00And like Alan was instantly I wanted to be like, why the fuck are we taking this? Why? But I knew I was like, nope, don't even make a stink about it because she wants to put the duvet cover on, and fine, we'll put this duvet cover on that's two sizes too big.
SPEAKER_01So the whole time we're putting it on, I could I know from previous years, because this is the second or third year I've made him help me put it on. I know it annoys him, and I was trying to keep a dead, serious face, but I really didn't care if we put it on, but it was just worth it because it annoys you so much, and he's being such a good husband helping me put this duvet cover on, and like it's hard to find the corners because it's way bigger than the comforter. And I just like halfway through fucking died laughing, and Alan looks at me and just shakes his head. I'm like, Oh, I'm only putting this on because every time you get in bed in the trailer, you can go, Where's the fucking comforter in this duvet?
SPEAKER_00It just ends up being a sheet with a big pillow down at the end by your feet.
SPEAKER_01I just I sometimes I think you're just like your dad. I know I am, and so it's fun. And you did it as a kid. Shit to annoy your dad.
SPEAKER_00I love annoying my dad still.
SPEAKER_01It's great, it's fun. It is. Thanks for being a good sport. Yeah. Um, what do you think you were put with me to learn?
SPEAKER_00Oh, um, first thing that comes to mind is patience. I think so. And I think I'd be just saying that like with your disability, just to be like, mm-hmm, just to be like, okay, like you need to know things are gonna take a little longer, and just like be patient with that. And I think also um I just want to word it as correctly. Um, I think I was putting you were put with me so that like I could um be it so I could be okay with healing myself, I think. To make it to make um to make myself feel okay with healing myself. To be like, hey you, hey Alan, it's okay, heal. Like do the work, do the do the things you need to do to better yourself. Because I think about where I was before I met you, and if like we didn't get put together, I don't know who else I would have met, but oof, I know I wouldn't be in a good place. I might be now, but I would have went through some dark shit. So I think, yeah. I think that's two reasons.
SPEAKER_01Aww. Patience and healing.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I love that. Yay! Cause I would like flip that question for myself since you didn't ask me.
SPEAKER_00I thought it was just no, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01I was just bugging you. Um, and I would say, uh the ability needing to be supported. Cause like I just want to do shit myself, which is also I think what my health stuff is obviously teaching me is to I think that's a huge thing for everybody.
SPEAKER_00I think cut you off.
SPEAKER_01No, that's fine. I think it is a huge thing for everyone, but I feel like I'm in uh in a life journey this lifetime where it's like, okay, you're gonna fucking learn it this time. So I'm learning it. And yeah. I I would say that's a big one for me. Just that and also that my that I'm really good at knowing, like I always knew there was a part of you that wanted space to just be who you are, and we talked about that in our last episode because I just listened to it again too, just about like I always knew there was this like softer part of you that just like needed to know that it was okay to exist. And that, yeah, like I love that that is one of my strengths, and that I was able I love that you said that because I I do feel like that was a piece too, is like really honing in on the fact that like that can be one of my strengths, you know, holding space for people, which is a big that's a big life lesson for me, I think, too.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, I think one of the big things was when it was the healing part was just you said um to be yourself, and like I always think back like to be yourself is to be your here's the number again, like your nine-year-old self. That's who you should be as an adult.
SPEAKER_01Obviously, not yeah, no, I know what you're doing.
SPEAKER_00But like inner feeling, and like you still should be creative and playful, and you know, you should still have all those as attributes as that nine-year-old you. And I think about that a lot when you hear when you hear about um people being them their selves, their true selves, because that's who you truly were. That's who you truly are, is you're that little person. Can you ever society and everything else molded and shifted you, like your parents, your friends, everything else molded and shifted you into this other person, which is great, but you can't forget that that little one.
SPEAKER_01Kid, do you remember what it felt like to be that boy?
SPEAKER_00Ooh, oh god, I was just like everything was an adventure all day, every day. I I only think sorry, I'm just thinking summertime. Summertime was always an adventure, and like it was just play. It was just like, let's have fun, let's just do what we need to do and have fun. Like, responsibilities didn't exist at that age.
SPEAKER_01And I was like a I'll talk about myself since you didn't ask.
SPEAKER_00It's implied, it's implied you're gonna talk about yourself.
SPEAKER_01Um, maybe that's why I talk a lot because nobody ever asks. Aww.
SPEAKER_00And I don't like to be asked, so that's probably why I don't ask.
SPEAKER_01You should ask more. Um, I as a little girl remember loving being by myself, which is no surprise. Um like, same going on, like um just like adventures, but there was like trees near our house, or even in our imagination land. Oh, I was imagination land, yeah. And like I remember playing in the art and like talking to the flies and talking to the bees, and like I remember I saved a bee once or so, I thought. And oh, I was so pumped when I set it free. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I remember not talking to anything, just myself, and like I see I saw it in Braxton when he was younger. Yeah, he'd be like playing army by himself, and he'd be like, We gotta take the mission, we gotta get the guy. And I'd be like, That was me. I'd be running, but it was Ninja Turtles, and we'd run, I'd run around being Ninja Turtles fighting Shredder and the Foot Clan in the backyard by myself, talking to imaginary people. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so that's who you strive to be now. Just kidding. I was like a little bit sarcastic there, but no.
SPEAKER_00Uh I am still that person talking to myself every day. Yes, imaginary people, but it's usually not fun.
SPEAKER_01That was that was something I was gonna ask you, too, because I've noticed, okay, we're in summer right now, and so we're like getting into a new routine of for me, people being home all the time. Yeah, which your routine changes is a big adjustment, and I forget how much that impacts me. Um, but you've you have been home more because you took some holidays and so I'm uh so out of routine, but I like to talk to our house and talk to my plants and talk to I don't know. I'm always talking to myself or talking to the things that exist with me. And there's been how many times in the last couple of weeks you've been like, What did you say? I can't hear you. And I'm like, I was talking to my Monstera plant. I was talking to our bedroom. Or oh my god, the other day I was talking to my food. Just having a little chat with my food, followed by a little cry sesh. Jesus. Okay, so we have an upcoming episode. I haven't recorded it yet, but I posted it and I'm recruiting questions about at like a man's insight and um just like hearing the other side. And I've had some people ask me questions. So I just want to throw it out there because send me your questions for Alan for this episode. But there is one, and this one came in quite a few times. Um, what is a man thinking about most his day?
SPEAKER_00Oof. What is a man thinking about most of his day?
SPEAKER_01Now, in asking you this, also understanding this is you.
SPEAKER_00So to speak on behalf of men, like, no, but like I can only speak to myself, but I'm sure this will resonate with most men or with some men. Um how you could be doing better, how you're failing at certain things. Um depending on where you are in your day, I guess. But like the task at hand, a lot of things is just literally the task at hand. Um just peace. Thinking about peace and quiet. Thinking about Oh man, I'm sure thinking about the past regrets, the past altercations, the past conversations, um the past a lot.
SPEAKER_01Okay, not to cut you off, but do you remember talking to me in our last episode about how like I'm always having conversations from the past, and you were like, that must be exhausting, storing all that data. What's the difference between me like having conversations stored and like past events stored, and what you feel like you're thinking about?
SPEAKER_00Because I my things that I hold on to are typically times that I've wronged somebody and haven't forgiven myself for it, so I relive those moments, and I I don't know if it's like to punish myself or what to be like, oh, you could have done better.
SPEAKER_01Like, does it feel unresolved?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, do you ever feel like you need to take care of it?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I feel like I feel like you should just call that person up and be like, Look, I'm so sorry. You know, I was in the complete wrong in this scenario.
SPEAKER_01And is it something that actually needs to be dealt with? Or is it just like reflecting on?
SPEAKER_00I think people get over it, but it's still one of those moments that I'm ashamed that I even happened. I think a lot of men can relate to those times where they know their characters better than that, but they didn't live up to it, and it's shameful to know that to know that you're a better man than the actions that you set in place. That's a hard that's a thing that I personally think about. Um no.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01That's a hard one for you, though, right?
SPEAKER_00Future is very hard to think about. And I think it's I think it's possible the um the possibility of letdown. Like I don't want to think into the future and try to manifest these amazing things and then get to the future and it not happen and be like, ugh, well, I'm a failure. And then have because then I'd I know I'd hold on to that as a failure, as a failure, being like, oh, you know, five years went by, this was my plan, I didn't make it, like, holy hell. Really? So I I don't really tend to think into the future much. I think into I try to be as present as possible.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00And then all of a sudden, some sometimes, like problem solving. If guys are just sitting there and and it they're quiet and they're like they see and you're like, what are you thinking about? They're probably thinking about a problem they have to solve either at work or with you know, a conversation they might have had with a friend or something, like trying to problem solve, and if they're like nothing, it is probably nothing, like, or they're thinking of a funny joke, or they're thinking of a cartoon, or you know, it's we're funny like that because I would literally lay on the couch, because I'm just thinking, like, just laying on the couch, being like, Hmm, even the TV on watching, not even listening to the TV, just looking at it and thinking nothing thoughts that just kind of skip across like a stone on water.
SPEAKER_01It's so crazy because I would say I am thinking about the future.
SPEAKER_00You think about the future more than anything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like maybe that's how we balance each other out. But and I think that's person to person, too. That's like not necessarily a man versus woman. Maybe it is. I would love to hear from listeners where are you? Are you thinking past? Are you thinking present? Are you thinking future? I mean, we all ideally want to be present, but um, the question that came in was also like do men know, and this was from a like um father perspective. Do you know the mental load that a woman carries?
SPEAKER_00No, just the same as a woman doesn't know the mental load a man carries, and it's it's a hard one to explain, too. Like, how do you explain a mental load to somebody without just being just listing off all the things you do? Because like it's more than that. Like it's more like a mental load is more than just the tasks you do and have to keep track of it. Oh yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01This was more like um when when a man gets home, not saying your brain's shut off, but how it's like thinking about and we're I feel like we're different because we share the household load pretty equally, I feel like. But like when when our kids were little and you would be at work and I would be at home, and you would come home from work, where did where did your thoughts go? Because it's coming from a mom of young kids who's like, I have laundry to do, the kids need a bath, the like just there's an endless list of being a mom of young kids. Not that dad doesn't carry responsibility with it, but it was like when you get home from work, and I don't know if you remember, but like, do where does your brain go when you get home? And are can you know and feel that like the woman who's at home with your kids or has responsibilities to take care of? Where are your thoughts? And like, do you know that her brain is always like thinking I think that's why we're thinking ahead future all the time, because it's just like to-do listy, not that you don't have those. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's tough because I I don't have a problem remembering back that far when the kids were that little and you stayed home. Um so like I'll talk to now for the moment. Um it's the same. Like I get sorry, it's not the same as what it was. Um I don't think of the future. I'll get home and whatever's happening, I just kind of will jump into what's needing done. Where are we at at home? The kids aren't home, okay? Like, yes, I know we got soccer practice tonight, so I'm gonna go coach that. What am I doing for supper? I don't know, let's take a look. Um like we all take care of our own laundry. So I mean, that's we're at that stage now, so that's nice.
SPEAKER_01One of the comments was like, Why don't you know this has come up lots actually? Why don't you know what I'm thinking and need from you? And I'm like, on the other side of that, I need to fucking ask if I need help with something.
SPEAKER_00So we are like me, anyways, uh eager to please, eager to please and happy to help, but we need to be asked.
SPEAKER_01You need do you need direction?
SPEAKER_00Um, I I feel like men that they don't need direction, they need the instructions on how you want it done. Because give us a task, we'll do it. But if it's not up to your standards and you don't like it and redo it, we'll won't do that task again.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00So give us a task, let us know how you want it done, and we'll try to do it to our best of ability to get it done the way that you would do it. And if it isn't done the way you do it, guess what? It's still done.
SPEAKER_01So do we not come across bossy and controlling then, though, being like, can you do this this way? Um I know what you're saying, but we've all we've worked through that.
SPEAKER_00I feel like so. I think if you're needing something done a specific way, do it yourself. And if you're just needing something done to get the task and load off your plate, let them have it and get it, let them get it done. Because who cares if you roll your socks and he folds the socks? Oh, yeah. What's the big deal? Who cares if he washes dishes and then lets them air dry and then puts them away, or you wash the dress dishes, dry them and then put them away, right?
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Who cares if you vacuum clockwise and he vacuums counterclockwise? You know, it's not that ridiculous, but I think when you're feeling overwhelmed, like I I know what you're saying.
SPEAKER_01We have worked through this, but I also this part this like version of me that wants to like speak for the people that ask these questions, it's like okay, I have 800 fucking things to do today. You want me to write down the number of avocados or the brand of whatever that we always buy for diapers? Or you know, it's like a little bit of like, can't you just fucking remember this?
SPEAKER_00Or can't you like, hey, can you go get diapers and I come back and they're the wrong brand of diaper?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That would be like, oh my god, these won't even it's like they will work though.
SPEAKER_01Right. But like that would have been a thing for why is that a thing?
SPEAKER_00Why why is it like because the babies use it?
SPEAKER_01Why do you buy Milwaukee tools or whatever fucking tools you buy?
SPEAKER_00Because I own the batteries.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Well, we don't own batteries, but like But if I was like, hey, go to home hardware and grab me, grab me a three-inch screw. If you came back with a zinc-coated three-inch screw or a get or a galvanized or a stainless steel, I'd be like, Thank you, and use it. I wouldn't be like, I can't use this screw. This is boo-bop. It's boo-bomb.
SPEAKER_01Do I know what to do? You know, it's it's but it's like like if I want help, should I just fucking do it myself if I have to give that much instruction?
SPEAKER_00You want to die on that hill?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00No, you don't. You want to be like, thank you for at least getting diapers, even though they're the wrong brand.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know?
SPEAKER_01No, I know. I feel like we can go into this question deeper.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, but like we aren't programmed for that. You know, like men aren't programmed for caretaky things.
SPEAKER_01Okay. On that note, okay. This might this will be fun to talk about. Okay, so you guys think, or you, I shouldn't say you guys, you think past. I think future.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01So the other day, I was in the basement.
SPEAKER_00This is sweating. You're sweating, curly hairs.
SPEAKER_01The other day, I was in the basement, which was an absolute nightmare, which I have cleaned over and over again and purged shit out of it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it was a mess. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Anyways, you've had water issues.
SPEAKER_01So I spent hours just like doing laundry that was down there that hadn't been dealt with, and like sorting shit out. And I had one task that I needed you to come help me with. Yeah. And I'd been sitting there for probably 10 minutes being like, okay, should I just throw this out? And I was like, no, this has a purpose for a little bit longer, but I just need it folded up for now, and we'll move it out of the way. Um, so I sat down there like planning how am I gonna stretch this out so that it can be folded and came up with a plan, got it all stretched out, called you down to help me, and you literally fucking threw it back in a ball like it was. And I was like, um, no, like I sat here and made a future plan of how I'm gonna navigate this, and you came down and just fucking did it your own way. So I looked at you and was like, hey, I know that you're annoyed and you think this is silly, but I have a plan for how I'm gonna navigate this. Can you help me stretch it back out and we'll fold it up neat and get it stored? Because I couldn't do it myself. It was too big. So you helped me stretch it out and then you just did it again. You just fucking folded it neater boost. Okay, but like I sat there for 10 minutes and had a plan, and I asked for help and you came down and were just like, and I was like, dude, you came down and just went, I'm doing it. And it was like, yeah, I want, I wanted help, yeah, but I wanted to do it. You didn't want to help, obviously.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I so I was like, I don't want to help. I'm doing it, get it done. You said we'll throw it under the stairs. I was like, it's small enough to fit under those stairs. That was my thought, and let's get it under there.
SPEAKER_01Okay. The summary of the story is or this too. Like, I just bought, I found the sick patio set on buy and sell, and I sent you a picture of it and was like, hey, what do you think about this?
SPEAKER_00Couldn't find the picture. I was looking for it.
SPEAKER_01Anyways, I knew that you were like, fuck off. We don't need that. And I was like, whatever, it's my money. I know it's a good idea. I know everyone will appreciate it, but I could feel your like, huh, about having to go pick it up and huh, about like, where are we gonna store it? And it's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's such a good idea. Yeah, and that was my foresight, and I legit manifested that. And I feel like sometimes men don't trust us in our future planning ideas.
SPEAKER_00That could be it, yeah. I know with that scenario, it was this is another thing Alan's gonna get to deal with when it comes to winter time and springtime to pull out and put away and cover and uncover. And I don't want to, just like some other things.
SPEAKER_01Okay, because on the flip side of that coin of Alan putting it away, Miranda sets up the entire yard for the summer and deals with the snow and shovels the snow and digs out the furniture and the cushions, her own damn self.
SPEAKER_00Good job, right?
SPEAKER_01Well, good job moving them away. So my idea was good. It had four sets.
SPEAKER_00That wasn't a big, yeah. It was it's great. I love it now. I do okay, I do love it.
SPEAKER_01That that is a thing, though, that women talk about lots is like we have an idea, and there's like resistance, resistance, resistance, and like I know sometimes it takes you guys having to do work to help us bring it to life, but like we have good ideas, and sometimes it's like you don't put in the like the like excitement or encouragement about it until you see it at the very end, and then you're like, oh, good job. That's so annoying. It was like that when I put like our little couch in the front yard when we were doing that edition. We had no backyard, I wanted to sit out front, and you were like, no one's ever gonna sit up here. And then I like hung up string lights and was like, Well, I'm gonna, I think it'll be really cozy. And we sit up there every morning and have fucking coffee, anyways. I'm just curious, what like where does that come from? Is it because it's not your idea, you can't see it, or because it almost feels like you're pulling or resisting sometimes, and then it's like, okay, I already have my own like my own, is this worth your time? Who's gonna be annoyed about this? Is it gonna be like I've fucking thought all those thoughts already? So then it's just like, hey, this is my idea. And sometimes it'd be nice if you're like, oh, I'm really excited to see how that pans out. Because I feel like my ideas are typically really awesome. Like the addition of our house was like, yeah, that was a good idea. Like, I have bomb ass ideas. I know sometimes they require your work. Like, holy fuck, the the edition was not the best example for me to just throw up.
SPEAKER_00I have a great idea. Build us an addition, Al.
SPEAKER_01But especially when they're like me ideas that don't take a lot out of you. But but yeah, you guys, not you guys, I struggle when there isn't like excitement.
SPEAKER_00Because like you A lot of your ideas do require a lot out of me.
SPEAKER_01I don't think so. What? I don't think so. Some, yep. Like the addition, yep. This you didn't want this, you didn't want the garage.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I wanted the garage, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, my ideas are awesome.
SPEAKER_00Your studio tap there there are a lot of things that require yes, I will give you that.
SPEAKER_01I directly I can validate that those ones are so it makes even little ones be like, how much is this gonna take out of me?
SPEAKER_00Because it does, it does feel like that. Even a call, even even when I hear I need your help, I'm like, I'm probably just gonna end up doing it myself. It feels like sometimes.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Well, that's where you're just learning because I used to, ooh, this has been something we've had this conversation, but like I used to the almost the whole fucking time we've lived in this house, um, taking care of the yard. Yeah, that was my baby. I you never had to mow the lawn, you never had to do shit. I would stain the decks and stain the fences, which is I still try to do everything that I can. And so, yeah, some of them, and I do know that like you have to carry more weight because I can't do it. But then on the flip side of that, I'm also sitting there feeling like a burden, like we were talking about. But yeah, no, I was just curious because that is a that is a thing that comes up, and I will validate that yeah, it does often take probably more energy of yours than ours, but then we all get to enjoy it at the end.
SPEAKER_00I don't know where it comes from. I'm one either. No, I know. I wonder uh I sometimes wonder if I wonder if it's like uh uh an ego thing for men.
SPEAKER_01That's okay, thank you. I was wondering if that is it.
SPEAKER_00I'm wondering if it's an ego thing for men that we just can't kinda hand over the reins or it's like hmm yeah or yeah I don't know because I've had this or we're not in an authoritarian state that way. You know we don't get to because a lot of guys work under somebody.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00So when they get home they want to feel like they're the king because they were the peasant all day long. So to come home and then have well I did wonder if that's what it is. Somebody else's somebody else being like I want to do this let's do this this and you should you should shouldn't have a problem with your wife having a great idea and being encouraging about it but but if you have a job where you have ideas and they get shit on all the time you're not going to be too welcoming with people's ideas. I think or if you I think a lot of times where it's like hey I'm little boy I have a great idea dad's like that's dumb you're like okay and then you grow up being like not accepting other people's ideas because yours were never accepted.
SPEAKER_01I think women go through the same thing though. Absolutely um I did wonder like if that is a thing I'd say it's probably mostly ego driven. Because it's also like a lot of energy goes into us for seeing those things. And like I don't know you know my place and my view is like that women are really good at manifesting and then yeah sometimes I just need you to buy in if that makes sense to the things that I believe because we I we've talked about this too like we we'll all go what's our like what do we want to do yeah over the next year. Oh this isn't okay this is turning into the ask Ellen things or things that come up in conversation.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So this is another one and I think we're getting better at it. But so when we're on holidays say we have a week off I'm gonna go with the Christmas break. That one's always hard. Anyways Christmas break there was a Christmas break where we had bought our rental and we had a whole week off together and the kids were home. And there was like things that needed to be done and I think they felt like a fucking mountain to you and then there were also things that I was like oh we should do these things and I know I annoy everybody in the house when I do this but but lots of women will say my husband's been home for a week and he waited till the last day to like do any of the things that we needed to get done.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so now one of them got done and we accomplished nothing in our week. So my family gets annoyed with me. I know even the kids get annoyed with me but I always go okay so we have a week off together what are some things that everyone wants to do and what are some tasks that need to be done because I've had to learn everything feels like a mountain but if I break it down break that mountain down into little bits each day of joy and fun and play and a thing or two that needs to be done then it balances the day out we get shit done and it's not like five days of fun and then three days of you being so fucking irritated because you have so much shit to do. And so that I remember you were annoyed with me but I was like what's all the shit that's weighing on you that needs to be done and I remember physically writing out that list.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then I was like hey what are some things that we want to do and we split it up into like what are we doing today? These three things and I knew that you were annoyed with me but that's a common thing too and it's like a strength I don't think this is necessarily man woman driven. I think there's some women that also want to wait till that last day to do the thing and some men that are like super organized let's balance it out. But I think that's a big piece probably in lots of relationships from what I hear from my clients and what I hear from friends and stuff. But that like I what is it for you? Like you got a week off yeah you fucking killed it on your week off like you've been I'm gonna take a little second to pump your tires because you've been killing it at trying to find balance and like doing shit that you know needs to be done and then still trying to have some play and some fun and some downtime so good job but like what is it that makes you be like is it just because you're off and a man or you just are like I don't want to do I think I think because for me it's hard for me to switch those two switches off.
SPEAKER_00So if it's it's go time it's fucking I don't want to stop I don't want to stop until I can't go anymore and then dial it off and I'm done until I want to fire back up. Zero or a hundred yeah pretty much and then same when it's like are we doing something and let's go do something. And then it's like well let's go do something and then I'm like I'm ready to go well you know let's well this has to we gotta wait and it's like no but let's go now it's like well I'm doing my hair or or not you I was like not saying this is just you I'm just saying like things like May might be like oh but I was I'm just hopping in the shower I was like okay well I wanted to go now yeah like let's go now so then it's like well now I gotta find something to kill 45 minutes and I don't want to just sit and watch TV so it'll be like maybe I'll go into the pottery studio and do some pottery well now I don't want to leave the studio because I'm doing that and I'm locked in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah I am gonna say I think you're getting better at it because you're living more balanced. It's hard it's hard to though it's very very hard does it annoy you that I try to encourage that no did it used to I probably wasn't listening like I would hear what you're saying but I wasn't you're disregarding I wasn't listening I'd be like yeah I know like I should but I wasn't like being like oh you should I wasn't taking the advice I was hearing it but I wasn't taking it is it hard to take advice from me I don't think it's hard no if you know what you're talking about then I'll be like yeah for sure I get it this coming from you you told me at the lake what exercise or what I should do in my workout and I was like I was just joking for you yes I was like oh I'll make them do yes I was 100% joking no not about work when we were at the lake and I was like I need to do a couple things for core and you were like do some planks on some and I was like what yes you fucking said that and I looked at you and said I don't need fitness advice from a contractor you don't remember saying that I don't know I know I know what you're talking about but no I remember that oh okay because I was annoyed I was like hey shut up I was like well then quit talking out loud as if you're seeking advice I was just talking to myself yeah I don't know what the I like I don't know I procrastinate so bad like I had two estimates I was gonna do this weekend just didn't feel like doing them was like no oh thank you for bringing this up and I think for work when I procrastinate it's mostly because it's just like I don't want to put in all this effort and then not get the job so that's why I procrastinate that okay um this was another question um do you speak for yourself but do men make fucking lists ever or do you just store it all up in your brain?
SPEAKER_00Oh I will make lists on my phone. Do you yeah yeah I got a whole bunch of notes do you look at them yeah is that helping you create balance because you never used to do that I got my grocery my jaws my materials my estimates he's showing me podcasts camping thing that I list in oh golf.
SPEAKER_01Do you put your thinking thoughts in there? Uh yeah where's oh well you don't have to show me I did um because that was another thing is like do you guys make notes or do you just trust your thinking thoughts and is that why you have trouble sleeping?
SPEAKER_00I live I hold a lot of um I hold a lot of um thoughts in my head like lists in my head so do you put them somewhere? Yeah I tried to put them on my phone.
SPEAKER_01Oh how long have you been doing that for?
SPEAKER_00A couple few years.
SPEAKER_01What? Really? When we were camping and I was telling you the things you need to do before you come home.
SPEAKER_00Yeah I stored those in my head. Uh there's only like three or four things.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Well you told me you made a list after you went for a bike ride you're like yep I'm oh no you're right I did I knocked down I knocked down a couple things I was like Braxton what did mom happen I was like Braxton what did mom tell me again I had this and this and I wrote them down and I was like but what were the other things and I was like oh I'm pretty sure it was pillows pillows pillows was one of them so I put it yeah bring your pillow on pillows yeah um because like holy shit I even this weekend I always have a like this has to get done but I split mine you should listen to one of my episodes about how to stay organized and how to organize your thinking thoughts babe because I talk about that we all have our ways I'm not there yet no I'm a few weeks behind in listening just kidding okay I'll catch up you will have to dive back into some of my episodes um this is another question and we're we've kind of been working through this again we kind of have circled back um in this last little bit and I would love if you and I could just chat about this because I have a lot of clients that are working through um health stuff or trying to take care of themselves so they can get pregnant or like working on their physical body or their overall health. Yeah and that is a heavy load there's this really fucking annoying part of trying to do your like physical healing of like why do I need to take all these extra steps and like why does it feel like my body doesn't know already what it's supposed to do and it's so exhausting. And I speak about this lots about how in self-care like you can only fit so much on your self-care plate. You can't do all the things all the time. So the first thing I'll say that this summer I'm in a new routine I haven't been meditating and we were just talking about this before we started recording is meditating is usually a big piece of my life doing kundalini doing all of that um but we've been outside lots like camping and enjoying the yard so that felt like presence and just like a different form of meditation. But so I've shifted then into this new meal plan and this new herbal regimen and really trying to stick to it and wanting to be really excited that like hopefully I feel better and hopefully this can like help me and like I talked to the to you and the kids like hopefully I can see changes in my health and my body so that our lives can be different. And I know I've had excuse me I've had a couple meltdowns just about it I feel like a burden which we touched on but I think like a lot of the women that I speak with I do also have some men working through things but I'm gonna just kind of speak to this on my own level but like what what is it like being a partner of someone who's like working through that big health shit when you don't need to be was that too many words or did I feel like I stuck to it um because I can't imagine it's easy easy on the other side either I don't know I don't think it's like am I speaking to what's happening right now with you you can speak to me or you can just speak like as a partner how do you navigate that how do you support I don't know it can be a conversation too you don't have to have a bunch of answers.
SPEAKER_00Yeah I I just I don't know I go by my day to day I don't think I I don't think I feel like I change much of anything I support you if you were or weren't doing this so I mean this is something you're doing for yourself so yeah I'm gonna support you I'm gonna be is it hard though watching your partner struggle?
SPEAKER_01Yeah that's always hard to ride that way struggle yeah okay well can we speak to that I feel like that's a hard one for you because we've like never really dove into that you always go I just know that things will work out the way they're supposed to work out which like yeah but what is that like because it's you needing to take on more load sometimes you needing to maybe hold extra space for me emotionally and like yeah I just sometimes on this end you're giving me a funny look sometimes on this end I'm just like I can feel like you almost feel like you need to just continue on with your shit and not not that you don't care but I'm like I know that you're feeling more than you're portraying and then I know you always go no I'm good but like yeah like is it not hard or how do you navigate that I don't know what I'm being asked like how do I navigate you doing your health journeys like physical and and mental health journeys yeah just is it hard I try to join you like if we're if you're doing like a mental health thing I think the best support I join in like I go to the classes I go to the retreats I join in because it helps me too the health one I'm not joining you on that like yes you're on a you're on a plan right now to see if it's gonna help with your physical body I'm not gonna be on that plan. That's not what I'm asking you. I'm just asking you how you navigate is it hard watching your partner struggling with health stuff yeah it's hard watching well can you speak to that at all?
SPEAKER_00Oh my god I don't know I feel like that's a hard one for you and maybe that's when we need to come back to like I don't I just don't know what to say other than yeah it's hard it's hard to watch you go up and down but like you go up and down you would be going up and down regardless I feel like you'd have m moments if you weren't trying to do something where things are hard and I've just I think learned to live with she'll get over this like she's having a moment right now she'll get over it and if it's really bad I'll come to you and be like hey like what's going on like where are you at? And then you'll have a big cry and I'll sit there and I'll listen and I'll offer advice if it's wanting it if you're wanting it. But other than that I don't know like there's not much else I can do other than being s supportive in just giving you space and being a shoulder or you know being that person to unload on if you're needing it to be there's like what else can I do?
SPEAKER_01I can't cure you oh you can't no sorry no you know what I so like I've come to terms where like there's nothing I can do like to support you other than being like good job like yeah I hope this works for you let's give it a try whatever you need from me and I think I've just lived with you long enough with this condition that yes and so the people like the people that I work with are on newer journeys or like a year or two and it just sometimes it gets between a relationship because one person's yeah riding a fucking wave and sometimes it feels on the other end like like I spoke to um sometimes it feels like you're a burden or like you're fucking dragging your partner down and and it's exhausting just but you don't hold me back from anything I want to do.
SPEAKER_00You know what I mean? Like you're not like I don't know how you would be a burden or like we've already come to terms like you're gonna do the things if you feel like you can do them and if not you're gonna tell us to go do them or we're not gonna do them. Like if I want to do something and I'm like hey let's do you want to blah blah blah and you're like no I'm gonna or I'm not you know my body but you guys go we'll be like okay we're going like I'm not gonna be like oh no Miranda can't she's not feeling up for it.
SPEAKER_01So we better not also yeah like I'll be like okay and then I'll come back and I'll check on you and be like hey are you okay like and you're typically when that happens you're like I just needed a good cry I had a good cry and I had to sit with some things about myself so like as much as I think you feel like it's your your physical body that's a limitation I think it just it plays up into your brain more like well there's a fuck a big connection yeah yeah like I even I have a couple clients that are like trying to get pregnant and their physical body like it's not happening. And so that's frustrating for them and I guess I'm just like I know those are different situations but I have other clients going through other health stuff and it's just like I know we've been on this journey together with health shit for like 10 years now.
SPEAKER_00I think you just support each other in any manner you can whatever that person is needing. If that person is needing to be left alone you grace them with that space and then they should come to you or you can double back and check in on them in a couple hours or at the end of the day or something. I don't I don't know I try not honestly I try not to stress about your disability Much because there isn't anything I can do. So, and I honestly, a little part of me, I'm like, this is the life that I like. It's slower. Like, it's like we're just gonna hang out.
SPEAKER_01Well, we've always been like that.
SPEAKER_00Right, but I but there's a vision in my head where you get your legs back and you're able to do all the things, and now I'm fucking exhausted because all we do is throwing this fucking energy at me.
SPEAKER_01Like you don't want me to get better. Just kidding.
SPEAKER_00But I'm like, like, yes, we're hiking now, we're biking, we're running, we're doing all the things.
SPEAKER_01Well, because those are things that you now.
SPEAKER_00I know, but it would be like you would hit it hard.
SPEAKER_01No, I wouldn't. Nope. You know what I just said in my women's circle the other night? What? The new moon that just went by was about um well no, it's not what it was about. I did a like intuitive page flip through this book, and the invitation was to say to yourself, I trust myself. And the invitation I put out to the group was to come up with what is it that we're trying to call into our life that maybe we don't fully trust ourselves with. And how we like might be throwing up blocks. And no, mine was, and I've been working on this for years, and I've said that to you. Like, I I hope and sometimes I wonder if I'm not like physically healed yet, because it's like, have you learned the lesson? Like, if you can all of a sudden run, are you gonna overdo it? If you can all of a sudden do everything and not ask for help, are you gonna overdo it? Because I there are moments in my life, irre like unrelated to physical, that I'll be like, oop, I overdid it.
SPEAKER_00I uh had that conversation with Braxton, very similar, about how God will only give you things that you can handle. And that could be good things and that could be bad things. Like God's not just gonna hand you over a hundred million dollars if you can't handle that.
SPEAKER_01Because if you can't, or he will, but it'll be because there's a lesson behind it. But keep going.
SPEAKER_00And if you know, if it and if he hands you something bad, it's because he knows you can get through this and you can handle that. Somebody else couldn't. So he had to give it to somebody, it had to go somewhere. And Brax was like, Oh, yeah, I guess. And because he was talking about like being famous soccer player and whatnot. And I was like, you know, you'll you you'll get what God gives you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So mine was I trust that I can navigate bigger energy and next level and keep a balance. Like, because there's always because I burnt out, then there's like, I want, I'm calling in these things, but then it's like, ooh, do I trust myself that I won't overdo it, that I won't burn out again. And I'm getting to a place where I'm like, I feel like um yeah, I feel like I'm good at asking for help. Sometimes too good now.
SPEAKER_00Um it's almost your superpower.
SPEAKER_01Shut up. Um but yeah, and I feel like I've like found that I'm more than my physical body. So I do feel like if my physical health, when my physical health comes back, and if it doesn't, whatever, but if it does, yeah, I I'm I think I'm still learning that balance, but I also need to be able to trust myself with it. What's something that you might well, this is gonna just annoy you because it's future. What's something you want for yourself that you think you might not trust yourself with yet? He loves when I ask him future questions. What's something I want for myself that maybe the ability to be able to think about the future without feeling let down. I think that's a very real thing that you said. Like I think I think that's a very real, like, it's easier just to be on autopilot and do my shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's easier to live day to day and just live that day than to live that day with the future in mind.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it's also it just gives you some like excitement and direction of where you might might want to go. We had this conversation the other day about because you'd come home from work when the kids were little and be like, I like feel like this is gonna happen and this is gonna be.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, on the drive home, I would be manifesting what the household was gonna be like.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and you were told to like imagine it all working out better than you could ever imagine. And I said to you, Well, I call bullshit on that a little bit because you also, I when I think about the future, don't go, this'll be magic and this'll happen and this will happen. I dream and I throw out there that like these are things that I would like, but I'm you have to be at that it at peace thing about like it'll play out how it plays out, but like I would love this, and then it'll land different in your life, but it's not failure.
SPEAKER_00Like my I would love to not have to keep doing what I'm doing eventually.
SPEAKER_01Like living with me?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_00Uh no, but if I could get a if I could what would you do? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You're talking work?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like I I love my job, I love what I do.
SPEAKER_01There's aspects I absolutely hate, but like we've had the conversation of shit taking off, and I would love to be able to financially support our family.
SPEAKER_00I could be a stay-at-home dad.
SPEAKER_01I would love for you to be my chef.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that would be great.
SPEAKER_01I have said this to Alan. How much money do I need to make? Well, and I know that because I know our budget and everything, but like, yeah, I would fucking love that.
SPEAKER_00So, but I keep that thought in my head. That's a future thought that I'm always thinking. So, like, it's not that I don't do it. So I do, I guess. I just don't have a lot of them.
SPEAKER_01How did we get here?
SPEAKER_00What's something that I think of the future that I want in the future that I don't think I could handle? That was the question that was asked. And I don't know. That you're getting in your own way of oh yeah. Yeah. I still I sometimes think that um my relationship with money is one thing that's keeping me from getting to a state financially because I've had poor money decisions in the past, like very dumb.
SPEAKER_01Again, you should listen to my latest episode with Aliyah. And uh but actually so that's so you're like trust with that? Yeah, you've gotten so much better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like since I met you. Oh, yeah, that's what I mean.
SPEAKER_00Like even before you met me, Miranda. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Like when you say, I don't know, um, if you weren't in my life, I go, Well, I know that you wouldn't be it because I was fine I am good with money. Yeah. And I got us to well, we just had this conversation too. Like, there was a point in time where I was making, I was supporting us, and I had my side hustle, and you were working and like equally sub equally pitching in, but I had my side business that was paying for our trips and doing that stuff, and um you were then you went to school for a bit, and I yeah, I was making more than you were at a point in time, and then when you finished your schooling, you were making more than me. And then we had kids, we had kids, so then my I was no longer the extra, I was like just making my bare minimum kind of prioritizing kids and whatever. But I think that's we were talking the other day about why finances why that like frustrates me that I'm in the position I'm in, which isn't a bad position, but it's just not the trajectory that I was originally on. And so we got into a whole discussion. I'm not gonna get into it today, but we had the discussion just about like um how being a woman and working and then having kids and then whether you go back to work or you stay home, and how like the journey of parenthood and all of that impacted me. And yeah, like I don't regret anything, but how when I look back at like all the work I've done and how much time and energy I invested into my business and all of it, how I'm like, how am I still like not not feeling like where I am? But it part of it is also just meeting myself better too, and not like having these ridiculously high expectations of myself when I should be really proud of where I'm at. Like when you said to me the other day, I don't remember what you said to me, something about like um I'm not sitting here thinking that you should be contributing more or something like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like you felt like there's no shame in the what you No, I what I said was you contribute in other aspects. Money don't that money don't that money don't whatever.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I contribute in different ways, but it's still I don't know, and that's my own healing piece too. That I need to remind myself, but isn't that also shitty that I do contribute in other ways, but then I don't feel valued because that is kind of what success is that's like the big one that we all hang over our heads, finances, yeah. Yeah, and I I I think that that's a big one for I have lots of friend entrepreneur women who are mothers, and that's like a topic for sure. Cause yeah, we want to contribute, we want to, and we can. It's just giving yourself grace when I don't know, we live different lives than men do, and that's yeah, whole other topic. Well, things have to be sacrificed, and it's it's just like different energy going into different things, but it does like as a female entrepreneur, I do have to constantly remind myself like of that, of the fact that I'm not less because I'm not bringing in as much because I'm also doing, I don't want to say the background stuff, but like I'm trying to be the one to take the kids to medical appointments or go to the volunteer here, help out with this. And I mean you volunteer too, but just so that you don't have to be pulled away from work because you contribute more financially to our household. Anyways, yeah, that relationship with finances that's something that both of us could probably work on. And I just did a podcast on it. You should listen to it, it's real good.
SPEAKER_00Check it out.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna pull us back to just a couple of questions that you can answer for yourself, but maybe might resonate with other men. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Here we go.
SPEAKER_01Um what did the little boy and you need?
SPEAKER_00A little brother. I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_01Aww.
SPEAKER_00Actually, that would have been nice. Mom and dad. Um what did the little boy and me need? More encouragement, less criticism.
SPEAKER_01Ooh, yeah. I'm working on that currently as a mother.
SPEAKER_00And like for me, that was probably the biggest one. And I think just genuine genuine interest like having people have a genuine interest in in you or in your world? Yeah, in your world. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like not just being the little boy that's existing, but Yeah. This is something I see on social media all the time. Did your parents play with you?
SPEAKER_00See, I don't remember my parents playing with me. I don't think they oh, that's not true. Like, I okay, I remember dad would we'd wrestle. Dad and I would wrestle when I was little.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh, but it's like never would play action face.
SPEAKER_01Well, and sorry, when I think play, that's I I'm like my parents, we played all the time. We played kickball, we went for bike rides, we played baseball. But like my I don't remember mom ever coming and playing Barbies with us.
SPEAKER_00No, dad and I would wrestle, we'd have dart gun fights or nerf gun fights. That was that.
SPEAKER_01But also as a parent that I can remember, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That I can remember. I don't know. So like if mom and dad, if you're listening, yeah, I know. Like if there's other times that you would play with me, uh I don't know, bring it up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I've just seen that kind of floating and it's like, um, I also though sitting here, I'm like, I don't know if I needed them to, because I was pretty fucking good playing by myself. Me and my Barbies were good for a week. Yeah, just leave me alone with my Barbies. You don't need to talk to me for a week. Were you like that?
SPEAKER_00Not with Barbies, but well, I would try to play Barbies with my sisters with my giant G.I. Joes. That would have been their G.I. Joes would go missing. Oh. And they would use them because they were more muscular than Ken. They were badass.
SPEAKER_01And they probably had better joint manipulation in the elbows and the wrists. I can't remember if the arms Ken's arms are pretty straight. His hugs are pretty generic.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Pretty stiff.
SPEAKER_01Um, what did you think? What is this question? Oh, I'll go with this one. What did you expect your role to look like in marriage?
SPEAKER_00Going into marriage, what did I expect it to look like? Uh, or before I even thought of marriage. Oh, okay. Uh typical. I think before I got married, I honestly didn't even think of marriage.
SPEAKER_01So until he met me and was like, oh my god, I need to get married.
SPEAKER_00Never thought I would, until I lived with a woman. Then I was like, oh, this is alright, I can do this. Um yeah, so I don't think before marriage, nothing. Once I got married, uh I think I just stayed the same. I thought it was just like show up. Well, we didn't have kids right away. Oh, yeah, we did. Shit. We didn't have kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, when we got married, we already had.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but we were living together before we were married. So that's what I thought married life was like. We just hung out, me and you. We just did our thing. Then we had little May. Um, and I just think it continued. I didn't know.
SPEAKER_01So I So what does it look like now?
SPEAKER_00Married life is different than fatherhood. So I don't think I was ready. I think married life um I didn't know there would be so much I would have to contribute emotionally in married life.
SPEAKER_01You did marry me though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do you think do you think I'm an not I'm an exception, that's not what I mean to say. But like I am a very emotional person too. So like, is it that or is it marriage?
SPEAKER_00I just don't think I would I don't I don't think I expected to have as many emotional conversations as we do. And I didn't think like when we were in our hardest part, I didn't think it would be that hard or that like there was times we hated each other. Like I would be like, I can't. I fucking can't. Like do you still have those? This is what happens when we try and have a conversation, you just fucking freaks out and leaves. Like, sweet. So I don't know. No, I don't have that anymore. We were good now.
SPEAKER_01Um, do you want to keep answering that question?
SPEAKER_00So for marriage, I didn't think the I didn't I was not expecting the intense emotions because I never saw it growing up. So I wasn't expecting these yelling matches and the crying, you know, the highs and the lows. I wasn't expecting it. Um, and I was definitely not ready for fatherhood when we had our child.
SPEAKER_01Do you think anyone's ever like ready?
SPEAKER_00Yes, I think so. I hadn't I hadn't been around little people ever. I didn't know how to act around them. I didn't know what they would need or how I would have to be. You know, I had no experience with small kids. So yeah, until they became it became a problem. Until I couldn't handle them anymore.
SPEAKER_01Do you think a lot of dads feel like that though?
SPEAKER_00I think for sh well, I can't speak for other dads. Well, no. But I mean, if you're not a dad, if you're a dad and you don't feel like you don't know what you're doing, good for you, man.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00If you know what you're doing, wow, you aced it, keep it up. But if you don't, didn't, and you were lost, I think that's more normal.
SPEAKER_01How do you navigate that?
SPEAKER_00You your partner helps you navigate that. You ask questions.
SPEAKER_01I didn't expect that to be your answer.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. You ask questions, ask for help.
SPEAKER_01I on the flip side was around kids lots. Fucking lots of people. That was my dream. Fucking having kids. Um, this came up when you were talking. What emotion do you find easiest to meet me with? Why about it?
SPEAKER_00I think well, because I think that it all depends on where you're at. Like, would you well not emotion?
SPEAKER_01Is it easier? Do you okay no?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, it's not a dumb question.
SPEAKER_00Well, I didn't say it was dumb. It just felt like you were judging me for a second.
SPEAKER_01I don't understand the is it easier for you to meet me if I'm angry and like frustrated, or when I'm crying? Or do you or or even in the past? Like, where are we at with that?
SPEAKER_00Oh, when you're crying. Because if you're just randomly crying, I'd be like, it's not about me. What's wrong, hon? But if you're like mad or frustrated, there's a chance it's about me. And I'm like, oh fuck, what did I do that caused this?
SPEAKER_01And if I'm crying, it's never about you.
SPEAKER_00Not usually.
SPEAKER_01Cool.
SPEAKER_00I'll have to like when was the last time you cried about me?
SPEAKER_01Oh, maybe I cry by myself when I cry about you.
SPEAKER_00Aww.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I'll have to sit with that. No, I'm not saying that I fucking go and cry by myself. No, but I was like, for you to be like, when you see me crying, you're like, oof, it's not a good thing.
SPEAKER_00I think that's that's a time where I feel like I can help most.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I've had to really um kick that door open. Um about like that's a piece I've had to learn of letting myself cry in front of you, because I used to not want to do that. And yeah, like uh when you pay. For my winter tires, and I had no expectation of that, but I knew I needed them. And I went into the garage and you were sitting there doing your pottery, and I like started tearing up. I was like, fuck. I didn't want to be tearing up, but I really wanted to let you know because I'm I'm very much as a woman trying to show my vulnerability because I think it's important. And I had taken a course and done some reading about just like how men like to see that side of us, apparently.
SPEAKER_00Maybe, maybe we like to know that you're taken care of. And we're the ones that did that.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, I walked in and I like start just bawling and I was like, hey, I just wanted to let you know, like, thank you for that. And then it ended up being like an hour conversation. But that that um has taken a lot for me as a woman to be able to come to you and just be any emotion.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I still, I don't know, I still feel like that's when I had to learn that I don't have to do alone.
SPEAKER_00Um but I don't think you should have to do that alone. If you're in a relationship and you can't go to your partner it with every any emotion, but how often do you come to me crying?
SPEAKER_01When do you show that other than if you're sad watching a movie?
SPEAKER_00Uh no, because like, yeah, my sadness comes out in in anger. Typically. Or like or shut down. Oh anger or shut down. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'd love to hold space to help you with that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Not what you want your wife to say, but I would. I would. Um okay, hold on one second. Okay. I just need to find a question here that I wanted to ask. Um, how does love look or feel for you? You're giving me a funny look. Now we do need we do need to dive back into our love languages because it came up the other day.
SPEAKER_00That's uh this is a hard one for me because I've been thinking about that.
SPEAKER_01I the other day said, Do you remember what your love language was? Because we did that so long ago. And I literally feel like um, I feel like mine might have changed a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I went, I was telling you, I went and did this free test online. I was looking for the link I used before, did the whole fucking thing, took me like 15 minutes, and then it was like, pay for your results. I was like, fuck you. Anyways, I do think that's one we need to revisit because I've been, as I've been going through like being super emotional the last two, three weeks, being more emotional than usual, and being in a new routine with like health stuff and reflecting, and um I've like been catching little things that I'm like, oh, I wish, I wish we could get back into that. Like when I folded your laundry the other day and left you a note, um, I was super bummed out that you didn't like I didn't do it for a thank you, but I I wanted you to receive it bigger than you did. And I was like, oof, I might need to like reevaluate what my love language is.
SPEAKER_00Like how you like to do it. Yeah, and that's why I was laying in bed thinking of that last night. I was like, I didn't even notice the clothes were folded, I just noticed the note on top, and Melee walked by it and like made it obvious. And I was like, I read the note and I was like, oh, that's nice. And I was like, Did you write this? Like Melee? I thought she wrote it.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then when you told me you did all that, and I was like, fuck, I didn't even notice that the fucking clothes were folded in the basket. I know, and then I was sad because I was like, oh then I've tried to do that because you were what is my love language, and what does how do I receive love and how does it look and feel to me? It's hard.
SPEAKER_01You used to be acts of service, and I don't know, like I do think it probably changes in your life because mine was physical touch, yeah, and yours was act of service if I recall.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And if you haven't done a love language test, I think it's super important too because you can learn a lot about what you need and what your partner, what their language is. Do you yeah, something to reflect on. What does love look like for you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's hard. That's a hard one because like even receiving like compliments, like when when you try to pump my tires up, and it's hard for me to just be like to accept it, to to you know, let my body accept that. I hear it, but I like it. Yeah, I don't feel it, I don't believe it. That's been something for you for a really long time, then I don't know, so that's tough. Like, I know you love me.
SPEAKER_01Oh, who told you that? Just kidding.
SPEAKER_00Great find all over town. Um, but yeah, feeling feeling love. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what it feels like.
SPEAKER_01Aww. You need to sit with that. I also feel like I wouldn't have known the answer to that.
SPEAKER_00What's your answer?
SPEAKER_01Ooh. Uh well, I just did a love language test though, too, so I was like, Yeah, but then you had to pay for it, so you didn't get your results. I didn't get the results, but I was picking up on my like um. I like deep conversations, as you know. I I love things like oh, I should have written them down because there's been a couple things you've done lately, and I'm like, how do you just know to do that? There was one day you like it was probably a month ago, but you like bought me oh chips and pop or something. Like it was something little, but you were like, I figured you would want that tonight. You do little shit all the time. Um there's something to do with my Jeep. You do little like take care of me things lots that like and to me it's like you went the length to think the thought that like she would appreciate this, and that means a lot to me. Those things. Um and I love connection, so I still love physical touch, but not like like when I folded your laundry and left you that note, you coming up and just like taking a minute, me and like giving me a hug and a kiss would mean more than just like you're I'm off to work, peck on the forehead or whatever, those things, or like dancing, or I love when we like just put on a song and dance. I'm a romantic, you know that. But then it was also like questions in the quiz of like when he takes me out on a date. I'm like, he doesn't need to fucking take me out on a date. That's like nope, but but like drive to King Hill and watch sunset. Yep, love that shit. Um, dig my bike out when we plan to go for a bike ride, because he knows getting my bike out of the garage is a harder thing for me. Like those things. So it's a I feel like it's a mix. It's like acts of service, but I love our deep chats.
SPEAKER_00You just need all of them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, maybe that's it. Yeah, no, I don't need gifts. I'm not really a gift gal. I don't think I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Like, what is a gift?
SPEAKER_01Well, like, don't buy me really don't buy me shit. You actually know that I unless it's functioning. Yeah, oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Unless it's a functional thing that you actually are gonna use and need like new door hinges for my Jeep.
SPEAKER_01That's what I got for my birthday, and I was like, fuck yeah, which you need to put them on.
SPEAKER_00I know every time, every time the doors tweaks, I'm like, bah.
SPEAKER_01And I bought you wooden Erndack chairs for your birthday. Yeah. That you need to stain. You can stain them when you stain. I am already on it. Or other shit, like, um, I was like, how am I gonna bring up to him without him getting annoyed that I want him to flip the garage door to out swing? Just like I told him when we were in the middle.
SPEAKER_00Well, you told me to do that already. Like we talked about it when we were siding before I started siding the garage. We talked about it. Oh, I didn't know.
SPEAKER_01Here I thought you surprised me. Or when you went to go side the garage, and I'm like so excited to be able to see what it looks like, and you started on the side beside our neighbors, and I was like, for fuck's sakes, we're not even gonna get to see it because if he gets busy and can't finish it, we're just gonna have a garage for the winter with the sides that I never see. And then I drove home the next day and he was on the front of the garage, and I said, I thought you were doing this last, and he was like, Yeah, you wanted one of the sides done. And I was like, Aww, those little fucking stupid things, they're a big deal to me. Okay, do I have others? Okay, okay, I have two questions left for tonight. Um, what is your mark you want to leave here on Earth? I don't think I need to leave a mark for or like what do you want like what do you want to do in this life?
SPEAKER_00I just honest like what does my obituary want to say? No. That's what I took that question as.
SPEAKER_01Uh like what do you move through your day and want to create or shift or help?
SPEAKER_00Honestly, I just try to be as kind to everybody as I can be. And that's hard at times because sometimes I don't want to interact with people. Um so if you know people are being nice and I really have to force it. Not not that I'm gonna be unkind, but I have to force the conversation or I have to force the interaction because I'm just not in the mood. But no, that's typically I just I try to go through my day every day just being as kind as I can to whoever I meet.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think that would be the mark I want to leave. Would just the people that know me for me that are that just be like, he was fucking really kind. Or, you know, the people that didn't know me was he was a real asshole. Because I can be too.
SPEAKER_01You need to have balance. Yeah. Um I don't remember writing this, but I think I like the question. If there was one thing you would really want your partner to be able to see that you do, what would that be? Are you scratching the desk?
SPEAKER_00Rubbing it. Sorry. Don't um if there's one thing I would want my partner to see that I do, what would it be?
SPEAKER_01What's one thing you do that you wish I would see?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I think you see it all. I think you see.
SPEAKER_01I don't think I do anything that uh you never like walk around being like, fuck, I wish she would notice. No, I think you notice.
SPEAKER_00I think you notice everything. You acknowledge like you don't acknowledge every time, but like why would you? I don't need acknowledgement every time I do something. But you acknowledge the the things that I do when I do them consistently, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, if you want to ask me any of those questions, just kidding.
SPEAKER_00What are some of the things that you would like me to notice that you do?
SPEAKER_01Oh no, I'm not answering that question.
SPEAKER_00Why? Because it's an endless list?
SPEAKER_01No. Because I didn't think about myself when I wrote that question. I was thinking of questions to ask you, which I was gonna say to you. I want to do a thing where you write questions and I write questions and we just bounce them back and forth.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01That would be fun. So people can also send questions that they might want to ask a woman. Yeah. I don't know if men want to ask women questions, but well, sometimes we do, but sometimes they don't like the answer they get, that was literally what you said to me when I said, Hey, would you be willing to do an episode where people send me questions that they'd like to ask men? And he said, Yeah, we could do that, but I'm just gonna say, Don't be mad if the answers aren't what you want to hear. And you literally just said that. Why men don't ask questions because they might not get the answer they want to hear? Right. Well, goes both ways. Okay. That was a lot of things.
SPEAKER_00It was a lot of things. I wasn't prepared.
SPEAKER_01I didn't give you any questions.
SPEAKER_00No, I know. So that's like it was tough to answer some because I really some I knew I had to think on.
SPEAKER_01But I have a lot of questions I didn't ask you. So and then yeah, I'm excited for some of the things that we've that we're going to dive into on another episode. I love that for us. Well, I would normally end my podcast with the two questions, but you've already been on it, so I don't care to ask you them again. Is there any question you'd like to ask me to end this episode?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01This is a smart ass question. I can tell by the w face you're making.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I was I was gonna say, what were the some things that you wish I noticed you did?
SPEAKER_01Hmm.
SPEAKER_00Or things that you think I don't see.
SPEAKER_01Ooh. You know, honestly, my answer to that is the mundane, stupid shit I do every day that like what? Like oh fuck. Like when I sweep, tidy up the couch, put shit that's on the floor away.
SPEAKER_00Does that happen every day?
SPEAKER_01Most days. I spend probably 40 minutes, I usually set a timer every day for 40 minutes, and I just walk around our house and deal with shit that hasn't been dealt with. Also, okay, this is this is something you probably I don't know if you notice, you buy things with good intentions and then never take them out of the packaging or put them anywhere.
SPEAKER_00Ooh, like what?
SPEAKER_01Like you bought shit for the dogs. What the fuck was it? You put it by your desk, and then it just fucking sits there, and then I'm like, good thing you bought this, and then I'm honestly usually the one that takes it out of the packaging, and I'm like, awesome, and put it away. It's stupid shit. Like what? Uh well, you hate when I put you on the spot.
SPEAKER_00It's not fun.
SPEAKER_01Uh well, you bought shit for the dogs. You also went and bought like we already had a mop and a bucket. Oh, yeah. And you went and bought like these fucking huge jugs of cleaner for the shower and this like spop and bucket, and like you just fucking used it once. Like shit like that. And I'm like, why did you buy that? What did you buy for the dogs? A dish? No.
SPEAKER_00It's the last thing I bought for the dogs, like treats.
SPEAKER_01Fuck. I'm gonna have to bring this up on another episode and think about it because literally I take it out of the packaging, and I'm like, sweet, what a fucking waste of money. You don't even know bought you bought it.
SPEAKER_00I don't even remember the last thing I bought the dogs. Well, yeah, I do. It was that fucking easy eat or the slow eater. Slow eater and some other shit.
SPEAKER_01Or you'll like buy yourself socks and never unpack them, and they'll sit on your side of the bed and then I'll rip them open and fold them together and throw them in your drawer. Like shit like that.
SPEAKER_00I'm not saying I did that last week, but like in the years I've lived with you, you buy shit and it I've had the same pair of socks for like fucking four years.
SPEAKER_01I went through your clothes one day just to reorganize them because it was driving me mental. And like you had six pairs of shorts or pants with tags on them still, and you'd had them for like two years.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was trying to fit back into them.
SPEAKER_01Fuck. Fit back into them. You never wore them.
SPEAKER_00It's because they didn't fit.
SPEAKER_01Anyways, you probably would have no idea that I even do that. Um, yeah, stupid shit, like sweeping and fucking just walking around putting everybody's shit where it belongs, which is why I know where everything is in the house and nobody else does. Which no man can disagree with. Where's the scotch tape? Where's that? Anyways. That were you hoping for some like sweet, meaningful answer? No. What was the question again? Something I do that I wish you would notice.
SPEAKER_00I'll make sure next time you do something around the house, I'm like, thanks for picking up shit around the house, even if you didn't know. It's not that I need recognition and I'll say it.
SPEAKER_01It's not that I need recognition. It's just that I don't think people notice how much time in my day I just do that shit. Or like reorganize drawers and shit that isn't fun, but like there, it's done.
SPEAKER_00But those are things that bother you, right? Like having to reorganize a drawer.
SPEAKER_01Isn't it nice when shit's organized?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever had to go through and get rid of shit in our house? Like drawers and kitchen and what's get rid of mean?
SPEAKER_00Throw out?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because yeah, I throw shit out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know you do.
SPEAKER_00I wait till you're not home.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Your solution is always though, garbage. And like some people that have nothing or donate or whatever. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I need help getting things donated. Anyways, you're going off topics.
SPEAKER_00This is sometimes it's like Mennonite Closet ain't taking shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they're always taking shit. Oh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Um shout out to Mennonite Closet.
unknownFuck on.
SPEAKER_01This this question was supposed to be directed at me, Alan.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you do that. You ask your question and then start answering. Why can't I?
SPEAKER_01Uh, honey bunny. All right. Okay. Well, well, let's leave it at that. There's gonna be a couple more episodes of you and I with some deeper stuff. Some about parenting and some about um navigating personality differences and coping differences. Um, yeah. Well, I want to thank you for coming on again.
SPEAKER_00Always a pleasure.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for coming into my recording studio. It's nice pleasure. Traveling so far. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Has it always been here?
SPEAKER_01But honestly, I appreciate you. I appreciate our chat. I didn't want to get super emotional today because I feel like that's been the last month. So thanks for just having some fun and answering some questions today. Uh, thank you to my listeners for listening in. As always, leave a review or a comment or send me your questions or topics that you might want to hear chatted about. Um, in the meantime, until we meet again, thank you, Alan, and welcome. Peace and love.
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