Less Bandaids, Less Fucks, More Health. | Interview with Roxy

Miranda is joined in this episode with Roxy, M. Ed & Certified Functional Health Practitioner and Nutritionist, and owner of 'Roxy's Nutrition.' They value the holistic lifestyle, share the journey of being mothers, wives, health practitioners, support some of the same clients in their community, and can both chat your ear off if you wanna dive into a deep chat.

And when you get two women passionate about helping and supporting themselves, their families and their clients through the depths of life, wellness and health...you get to cover alot in one episode!

From motherhood, raising littles, mental load, to navigating the hard chapters, and many depths of holistic health, wellness, nutrition, ovulation and more! Roxy speaks to her journey navigating miscarriages, raising her beautiful little humans and the struggles and growth that happened along the way to get there.

Topics:

• Motherhood- Raising Littles, Being Postpartum and Mental Load
• Less Fucks- The beautiful chapter of learning to give less fucks in all the areas of life, health, wellness and home
• Parenting- The layers of unnecessary bullshit we think is important with parenting, how basic and simple it really can be, and the value of leaning into the mess.
• The journey of meeting yourself during hard chapters- How we always seem to appear like we have our shit together, but the reality of friendships, and navigating the outside opinions and judgement (when they don't really know what is going on in your personal life)
• Not fitting the mold- Again, you are not the only one if you struggle with the small talk. They dive into how important it is to find the people and community that allow you to be just you.
• Roxy's Personal Experiences- From relationships in Nutrition, 90's Diet Culture, Body Building and more, as well as defining what the fuck 'health' actually means, because its personal.
• Relationship with Body Needs- Somatic connection, your relationship with the body, its needs and how it functions, and how important it is to support youth in maintaining this relationship as priority.
• Women's Health- The lack of understanding of menstration, ovulation, hormones, and the western band-aid of birth control as an answer
• Living holistically, and the journey of healing- Allowing yourself to flow, adjust, listen inward and how adjusting lifestyles is so critical to supporting yourself and finding what works for you! That there is no 'falling off the wagon'...and understanding signs vs symptoms, and things getting worse before they get better

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to the Miranda Lee Podcast. A life fully lived embraces every season, the highs and the lows. Allowing ourselves to love fiercely, feel our feelings, and trust to land softly. This is a heart-led space created for just that. Deep, vulnerable conversations, connections, learning to unlearn, become part of a beautiful community while growing and healing right alongside me. Because everything is easier with support and lived experiences shared with the right kind of people. Let's step off autopilot, get a little uncomfortable, take a breath, and dive right in. All right, welcome back to the Miranda Lee Podcast. I'm joined today with Roxy. I'm really excited for the conversation that we will get to have. And I like to just kind of crack the door open and let you explain who you are. It doesn't have to be your titles and such, but Okay. Non-official.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Roxy.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Oh, I'm a tired mom who's actually not always tired, but um, you know, that seems to be the description that people go for. I'm a tired mom. I'm not a tired mom. I'm um an eccentric mom, a teacher, um, a functional practitioner. I just someone who likes to live outside. A wife. Yeah. Yeah. A lover of like healing. I think that's what it is.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

I love that. Um, do you have titles that you want to share?

SPEAKER_03 1:46

No, I think those are them.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Yeah, okay. No, I love that. Um okay, I'm really excited to chat. I think like just lifestyles and our inner or our healing. And yeah, just I think a little bit like living outside the box.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Being the woo-woo people.

SPEAKER_04 2:09

Being the woo-woo people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

Welcome all the woo-woo.

SPEAKER_04 2:11

I'm like, I hate fucking saying woo-woo because it's not. I think it's woo is my thing. And it's not, I just am like, it doesn't need to be. It was like a way of life that was trained out of us. And now we're realizing, oh shit, like we need that lost wisdom, and we need all of that, all the things. Funny, I saw a picture today. Random, random thought, but first side quest. I saw a picture today of like Saskatoon in the 1800s, something like that. And there's like I should have double-checked that year. Anyways, and it was like now, and all like the river, and like all these city towers and whatever, and then it was like then, and it was the river and like these little pitched-up tenses and horses and wagons, and no shit, like all the women are standing there in their dresses and hats. And I said to Alan, I was like, Kay, isn't it fucking crazy that like while they're building a new world and like riding a horse and buggy and doing the dirty work, that's when they're like dressed like that. I'm like, and then here I am in this world with like all these skyscrapers and not the world I am in. But like, and now we're fucking rocking the shorts and like it's hilarious. Shirts with holes in it. And I just I just think my fresh linens. Right, right, as I sit here in my linen pants. Uh, we're both cozy and getting eaten by mosquitoes in my office. Um, but yeah, I just when I see pictures like that, I always like feel a connection, and I'm just like, ah, to sit down with one of those ladies, how fucking cool would be.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

What would your first question be? What would you ask them? Um, I always ask them, how heavy are those clothing? Like, could you imagine how strong their backs maybe? Oh my god. Courses. And they were little.

SPEAKER_04 4:20

I know. Like when you look at old shoes and dresses like in museums, you're like, holy shit.

unknown 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Like maybe a waste of a question, but I just want to be like, dude, like, what's your body muscle percentage? Like to be carrying all of that clothing all and you're doing a lot.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

I know that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

And I'm being like, dude, I'm literally like, I need to take my t-shirt off at the gym where there's air conditioning.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Right. I know. I think that first thing that comes up, I was like, I don't really have a question, but I'm just like, thank you. Because fuck, right? The women before us, like before, before. Before, before. Also. Also the women one generation before, but like, fuck. All of the women who did the work. Yeah. And like uh us trying to reconnect with all that they knew and did for us. So yeah. Um, what chapter or season of life are you in right now? You said mom, teacher.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

So like we were chatting before, I think that I'm feeling like right now is this a whole new chapter, opportunity chapter, I think, in my opinion. Um I want to call it like the healed or healing mom phase. We're done having kids. So I know that like my body won't go through that again. And I just feel like the world has opened up into whatever I want to do with it in whatever way is kind of like my choice. It's my body. I'm not breastfeeding, I'm not doing any of those things. Do am I still touched out by the end of the day? Yes, but like it's mine, you know. So, how do I want to heal it?

SPEAKER_04 6:13

That's a big chapter close, though, too.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Yeah, like yeah, like I feel like I like closed a cement panel and just like locked it down.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

Were you a little girl and young woman who like couldn't wait for motherhood?

SPEAKER_03 6:29

No, I never thought I would be. Oh, you didn't? No, I didn't. I actually remember telling my mom that I wasn't sure that I would be a good mom. I never wanted to hold people's babies, I never dreamed about my wedding. I was not. I wanted to like be a fashion designer and move to somewhere else and just be like fiercely independent and take over the world. Well, basically you are. Sure, great. Um, no, I am. Um, there's absolutely zero percent that if you would have told me that what my life would look like now when I was younger, that I'd been like, yeah, totally no. Zero percent like a homesteading lifestyle, and not because it's trending, but like that's how I grew up and was just like so ready to run away from it. And like, you know, the quote unquote, I'm gonna leave this town and never come back. And then I left, and after like two years, I was like, I can't wait to go back. I hate the concrete. I think we all do that though, too, right? Some people have left, you know. Some friends or girls I graduated with, and some other guys I talked to, and they're like, Oh, I love you know, Edmonton or Calgary or wherever it is that they are. I can't even go to Saskatoon, you know. Like my husband and I literally canceled our Costco membership because we avoid the city and we go maybe twice a year, and it's because there's like a doctor's appointment, and we're like, damn it, we don't have that here. Like we have to.

SPEAKER_04 7:42

That might be why we're sitting across from each other because literally canceled our Costco membership because I'm like, you know, I can't. I and I used to live there. Did you did you move away?

SPEAKER_03 7:53

Yeah, I lived in PA and Regina five years, and um, yeah, PA wasn't too bad. I know I lived in like the two highest crime-rated places in the province, but like I love that like the lake was right there and the forest was there. I worked for highways, so like I was outdoors all day long. I got to feel the fairies and ride all the fairies and stuff, and I loved it. Yeah, and then Regina, I actually did really like because they built it with the purpose of like, I can't remember the number, but like every certain number of blocks they have a park. And so I always found that like if I was feeling over stemmed or way overwhelmed or something, I would like go to a park. Yeah, and it wasn't until years later I was like, dude, nature was just being like, come home. Yeah, come home. Like I would literally just take off and go to a park and just like lay there for hours or read or do my studying or whatever it was I needed to do. And I loved that. I love that it there's so much green space in Regina. So I think it gets a lot of hate for really no reason. I think they all come down to perspective.

SPEAKER_04 8:55

Yeah, like I loved it. Very artsy culture there and it's like you could hate on a place or love on a place, depending on how you're viewing it. It is what you make it. Life is what you choose. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um I think though, too, I loved Saskatoon, and I was like, I'm gonna move home because of a job opportunity for a year or two, and then like I'm going to Calgary. That was my like, I don't know why your train of thought. Calgary was important to me, I guess. Um but here we are, like, oh, I'm so grateful that I just like chose this and landed here and met my husband. And I think though, different because I love Saskatoon as a single ass woman who is going to school. We always, when we go to the city, we're like, okay, if we lived here, we would be late always. I would be so grumpy all the time, and like, I don't just so just like different chapters of life.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Yeah, I love that. Oh my god, every time we have to go to the city, my aura ring at the end of the day is like, you experience more stress than usual. And it's just honestly just from me like white knuckling it in the passenger seat, and my husband being like, Stupid drivers, get out of the way. And he just looks at me. I don't know how many times he's like, God, I hate this city, gotta hate this city.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

We're around so many people though, too.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Like so many people, but also like so many angry people. People are see, there's no nature, people aren't happy. Yeah, no, like go touch grass.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

So that's one thing I mentioned in a podcast before, but like it is when I'm in the city, I'm extra conscious of like, ooh, who am I around and what is that fucking shit energy I'm picking up? And that's where I like was teaching my son innerly Okay, dry bath, get the fuck out of the store and dry bath because I don't know what's going on, but yeah. So pulling us back, you're in a chapter. How old's your youngest? She turns one in two days. Oh, yeah. So it's been a year since you had a baby.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

Yes. Oh my god, I can't believe it has been a year. Um it's very she's very different than her brother. Like when he turned one, I thought he was like five. So he's just like so wise beyond his years, and she's like three months. So she's just a true baby. It's crazy how different our kids are. Oh my god, definitely to be raised in the same home. I know that's why they always say no sibling ever grows up in the same home.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

They don't, or with the same parent. No, because they're not the same person.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

No, absolutely not. No, she's um, she's feral, which makes me excited but terrified at the same time. She's wild, and her brother is like so strategic and orderly and so empathetic and caring and shares everything, and she just takes advantage of all of it. She just eats it up. So someone's gonna break his heart one day and she's gonna beat the living shit out of him.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

Yeah. And I would say birth order probably doesn't matter then, because I would say the exact same thing. However, that gets me so fucking excited for the future world because I have a daughter that's like, no, this is with compassion, but like this is how I navigate life. Yep. And still needing to learn to like dial back once in a while and like soften up. And then the opposite with my son, I'm like, okay, you're going to be a soft emotional man who will need to learn boundaries and speak up for yourself and care about people, but also care about yourself.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:19

Yeah. Which both are fucking scary. But I am grateful that I love that your daughter's like that too, because I'm like, women are fucking rising. She's my sister. The world needs it though. And the world needs men who will support those women rising.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Oh my gosh, my son is just, I mean, I don't mean to toot a horn, but like my son is the most amazing human. He's literally, what did he say to me the other day? I forget what it was. I had I was making a cake and I had raised my voice, not in like a yell, but it was like it was loud in the house, and I was like, buddy! And I scared him, like startled him, and he started to cry. And I said, Oh mama, so sorry, I hurt your heart. He's like, You didn't hurt my heart, you broke it. I was like, Oh my god, baby, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 13:03

It's so hard to with those boys because the world is like we have to prepare them. Oh, but yet I'm also like, I don't. Like, cause I was done. Figure it out. You need to figure it out. You need to know that I support you. Yeah. And we always got your back. But it's it's a little bit scary in that regard, just because it's like, fuck, the world is hard out here. Yeah. And I don't think it's my job to break you for that, but ugh. He's got a sister. Are we okay? Yeah. She'll drag him along. Fuck, I know. I know.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Yeah, no, she's gonna be a year in two days. We just had a birthday party last weekend, and oh yeah. No, I was not ready for my son to go to daycare. I was definitely ready for her to go to daycare.

SPEAKER_04 13:51

Oh, yeah. But in saying that, I think there's a fairness of also like you're ready for this chapter closed. Very exciting. And now there is a new chapter. And that's, I think the most exciting part about motherhood is every year there's something exciting and something challenging. Like I loved, loved when I was when my kids were little, I ran a day home. Little people were my jam. Um, I still love kids in a dose, but like I'm not a baby girl. Like, don't have me your baby. No. I have friends whose little people I love and support, but like I don't want to hold, I don't want to hold babies. I have zero. I used to always be like, oh, look at that baby. Can I hold your baby? Like, nope, I'm good. I'm real good in the fact that my kids are their own people and they're they have their own lives and I'm a part of it, but I don't have to be there fucking everything. Yeah, loved every little chapter, but like I need to go back. You were good with it, being like, okay, got it. I never sit here going, oh, I miss when they were little. It was cute. And I also I don't know sleep better now. Yeah. I also feel though, like, because I shifted my life and I really tried to honor, like, I wanted to be home with them. I feel like I got to treasure and like be in those phases. And so maybe that's where I'm at, is I'm just at peace with like, yeah, that whole year of you being three that happened is awesome. These are the memories I'll store it. These are the things that I go, fuck. I remember those moments. But yeah, I'm excited for you. You're kind of entering the you chapter.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

I'm I don't I have talked about it a lot. And I think at first I was a little hesitant of being like, okay, like what am I gonna do and whatnot. And it wasn't just the like, okay, they're they're in childcare kind of thing, and I have some free time and whatnot. Because a lot of that free time is spent doing shit, yeah, with clients or whatever and whatnot. But and my mind instantly is just running through the whole, like, well, I need to wash my walls before I go back to work and I need to clean the baseboards and you know, all those things. And because they haven't been done in over a year because I couldn't bend over and reach my toes, right? And now I'm just kind of like, yeah, like that could happen. And anyone who knows me well is like, really? You didn't like clean on the first day because I'm so like, I was just everything needs to be so done and orderly. Because it makes my mind feel good. Like it has nothing to do. I don't no one's ever in my house. I don't I don't love people, but it's more so just like I just want to like sit in it and if my mind will still but I'm also learning like with balancing my minerals and everything, that like a lot of that has to do with my mineral balance or imbalance is that my anxiousness that I never had as much of, I'm not gonna say it was never non-existent, but as much of growing up and just became so prominent in like adult years has really just like quieted since like leveling my system out. And I'm like, huh, it doesn't take over my life to like not mop my floor today. Like that is interesting. So it's hard to explain unless you're I have been there, right?

SPEAKER_04 17:04

I've been there, yeah. I am 10 years, well 11 years from where you were. And as you were talking about it, I was like, I don't know if I we don't even have baseboards, and I don't fucking wash my walls maybe once, maybe once a year, but I was like, ooh, I remember, I remember living there though, and I also remember saying I needed it for my head space, but then I also go, that was an opt-out.

SPEAKER_03 17:31

Yeah, that was not just being like this is not me being like calling you out on your shit.

SPEAKER_04 17:35

No, but I'm like, in 10 years from now, I'd love to sit down with you and be like, how are your baseboards involved? Because one of my questions on here is what have you learned to give less fucks about?

SPEAKER_03 17:46

Well, and and that's a dive into everything, everything. And because that's what I mean. Like that's where my mind was racing. I mean, that was maybe three, four months ago, um, where I was still like, I mean, yes, I'm only a year out. I think, I think, okay. That shit's heavy though. Side note, postpartum, why is there always timelines on it? It's like as soon as you tell someone like, oh, my baby's a year, they're like, Oh, you're you're that's a long time ago. I'm like, dude, oh yeah. It is like three to five years to heal your body.

SPEAKER_04 18:13

You're forever postpartum, yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

And here's the thing is like I am only a year out from creating a shit. And so three, four months ago, when my body was still just like so depleted, and I hadn't really um I hadn't moved out of what I was rating as like my first phase of like, you know, I still had adrenal fatigue, I still had extreme cellular exhaustion. Um, my minerals were so, so low, even just four months ago, and that was still what was on my mind. You know, I was okay, they're gonna be starting childcare, what do I need to get done before that? Like, because there are requirements for them to be able to go to, right? And I just kept thinking, like, oh yeah, I'll clean my house and now that they're gone, and um, I did have a recent um HTMA mineral test done, and like things are looking great. I'm just like, I still they've been gone for three weeks. I still haven't touched, cleaned anything. Yeah, like I don't care. Right. And you know what? I will baskets, mad baskets, everything just goes in fucking baskets. Push them out of sight, and I'm like, that enough for me. I do like my home to be tidy. Um, but yeah, no, I don't really fucking care anymore. That's really I've really released that.

SPEAKER_04 19:30

That's a heavy load though. Um, I literally recorded with Alan yesterday, and one of the questions for him was like, Do men know the mental load of what a woman carries? And I didn't expect him to have an answer for that really, because I think sometimes we like need to step back and even comprehend our own fucking mental load. And also, like me sitting here 40 now with teenage kids, I'm like, I put a lot of that there where it was learned that it was it needed to be priority when really why did I use it a priority? Or why did for me it was like a projection of how much I had my shit together? And I'm trying to even teach my daughter to unlearn that because I think it's fucking wired in us, honestly. I think it's this whole like we can do it all, so we should do it all, and like what is all fucking bar of like my house. I as soon as I quit giving a flying fuck and asking myself in two weeks from now, I'm like, am I gonna care about this? Yeah, is this going to actually be something that I'm like, thank goodness I did this, do this task.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

The back of the ledge of the couch.

SPEAKER_04 20:47

Like, and I now am like, if I'm not in the mood, I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

No, I don't care.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

It doesn't serve because there will come a time today where I was like, ooh, I'm really excited to clean this bathroom because it's really disgusting. And it will feel good when it's done. And it'll feel good when it's done. I'm I refuse to be the angry mom slamming my vacuum up against the wall because it doesn't serve me.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

And I do think I vacuum over 400 times a day though, because I can't handle the feeling of crumbs on my feet. You have little people though, too. Oh, it's everywhere. Oh my god. Watermelon this morning. And my son's great. It's different. You have a like one-year-old. Oh, she's yeah. And I mean, my husband and I said to us the other day, we were like, Matt was like, I wonder if we like gathered all the pieces of the muffin and brought it back to the store if we would refund. Like, oh I don't actually know that she's eating. Like, I wonder if she's starving because it's just fucking everywhere. Like shit is everywhere. And we had learned from a friend. Um, I okay, when I was pregnant with my first, I would ask people, you know, what are like the two top pieces of advice as a mom or a parent that you would give me? And a lot of The biggest one, honestly, was like always have wipes. Just like never go anywhere without wipes. And then some of the great ones I got were like my favorite one was let them explore their food early. Like just let them be feral with it and whatever. And then they'll learn that dexterity so fast. And I remember Calder being about a year and a half, and people being so impressed with like how well he holds a fork or how clean he eats and everything. And me not thinking of it. Like to me, it was just like he's eating kind of thing, right? And people be like, wow, he really eats well. And we're like, well yeah, he's hungry. We thought it was like hit people commenting on the amount. Don't get me wrong, he eats a lot. But like, no, it is the skills that they have built by just letting I literally would just put purees and different textures of things down and be like, got one of those dollar store tablecloths and just let him go to town. And yeah, they just to pinch and pick things up and whatnot. And it is a vast difference of them just being able to like have that independence to be like, I want to try this, I want to eat that and make it to the mouth. And now he is like the cleanest eater I've ever seen. And I'm like, huh.

SPEAKER_04 23:10

That's so like amazing. Isn't it crazy? An expectation that we wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Well, I know. And I'm kind of like, so what what's the other option though? Like, but I guess, okay, okay. So I had this question. My friend of mine is a dietitian, and she helps a lot of people with their children, you know, um, allergies, sensitivities, um, increasing um palates for things. And she said, Well, there's just so many developments, quote unquote, developments of these ergonomic spoons and utensils and whatever. And she just like for kids? Yeah. And she says, honestly, she tells people, that's a big thing she tells, just like, get rid of them. Like, let them use their hands. Yeah. Like, well, then they're so dirty. She's like, Yeah. Then she goes, That's how they learn. Like, that's why babies put so many things in their mouth because they want to learn. They want to like what shape is it? What does it feel like? So their hands they haven't made full connections with yet, and their bones and cartilage, everything isn't even developed in their hands yet. So they put it in their mouth. And that's how they discover it and if they like things. And it takes a child like five tries before they even will consider a flavor or a palette for something, even a texture. So just letting them go to town and you just keep introducing it, keep introducing it, just keep doing it. And then they develop that. And then I'm just like, what are these spoons? We're talking about it. It's hilarious. Like, is this a thing I'm missing out on?

SPEAKER_04 24:34

There's still people in our world that eat that way too. It's like, okay, I'm a little bit of a spaz obsessed about the bullshit that we created because it was like status and like, oh yeah, like, oh my god, utensils. Or a big one when I was co-sleeping was why did we fucking feel like every kid needed a bedroom or like kids needed to sleep independently? And it was like that. That was a like status piece that every child has their own room. Success. Like you are killing. But it's funny. So they're all alone. Because now, like, we're going back to that like shit that giving less fucks, I think. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

I just at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_04 25:21

Food's easier to eat. Some foods is fucking easier to eat with your goddamn fingers. Are you happy?

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Yeah. Right? Um, I always say to my clients, it doesn't matter what it's about. I just say, like, you do what you can with what you have. And if you're happy, great. Yes. Because it's really all that matters. Why does it matter? Or sometimes clients will message me and say, like, hey, should I be doing this or should I do that? And and great, valid, good, cool, reaching out, you're unsure. And then I just say, like, do you like it? Did it make you happy? Yes or no? Then that that's your answer. Or I tell them to do the whole like stand still, put your hand on your heart, and like ask the question out loud. And if you lean forward, it's a yes. If you lean back, it's a notion. Like you're yeah, your nervous system's gonna tell you. So yeah. Like, done. And move forward. Trust yourself.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

Yeah. That was literally. It's not written anywhere. Like, go inside for your answers.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

But again, we're trained that. Like seek your advice.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

Yeah, I think that's a big thing that there's just always something to Google, something to a number to call, a person who's supposed to be specialized in that field. But like what happened to like when we don't have that?

SPEAKER_04 26:27

There's also now someone to always compare yourself to. Oh, good. Which is, I think that's just like, am I caring too little?

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Because I really don't care.

SPEAKER_04 26:36

Even if you when you start to not participate in that though.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

Oh, you're an outcast.

SPEAKER_04 26:41

It's well, even if people aren't telling you that you're an outcast, you almost tell yourself that because it feels that way in the beginning. Because when I And you learn to just be like, I don't know that I ever have been. What? Mainstream.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Like I mean, there were I think there yeah, like I think there were eras in my life, obviously, you know, like your adolescence and stuff, where like I wanted to fit in and you want to like I don't know that necessarily fit in is what I've ever felt. I've just wanted to like be treated nicely. I think that's what it has always been like. But I don't ever want to be like anyone else. Oh no. That was always a thing. I just remember that always being something in my mind, and yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

I never understood. I had a really hard time understanding why people cared about some stuff, and I think that's where sometimes I step back because I'm like, I don't know why this is important or why, yeah, that yeah. So you have less fucks to give. Far less. I don't care anymore. I wanna be happy. What would you say was the part of you had to what was the part of you that you had to meet to or actually maybe what is the hardest part of you that you had to meet or sit with as a parent or or in the act of learning to give less fucks? I feel like for you it sounds a lot like just going back to who you are.

SPEAKER_03 28:20

Yeah. Um God, there's just like so many moments going through my mind right now. I think it has just been that I've never fit. And when I say quote unquote fit, um I've always felt different. Like I, you know, when I was younger, um, so 90s, early 2000s, the culture was stick thin. I've never been right. I was the Beyonce Knowles, Nicki Minaj of the early 2000s and late 90s, and that wasn't in. Um I got made fun of a lot for having curves, and it's not that I hated them. I I don't I remember knowing I was very powerful, like very strong. My my my mom, my parents did a really good job of being like, you are so strong. Um, I was incredibly athletic. Um it helped that my mom was a personal trainer, but I mean like that knowledge base was there. We ate holistically, we you know, we were healthy. I knew that I was healthy, I knew I was strong, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt to know that you blatantly didn't fit.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:32

Um, you couldn't share clothes with your friends like everyone else did because my boobs would stretch them out and you know, all that stuff. Um, and then going through like university and high school, I just remember always being someone who struggles with small talk because to me it was just like fuck it, like that's not what's important. Um, some people would get really bored with me wanting to have like deep-rooted conversations, and then you would meet someone who like has a soul and wants to talk to you, and you would just talk for hours, right? But I just remember never fitting that, right? Like people were all in these like, let's just get shit faced and who cares, and blah blah blah, and like everything surface level, and I just always crave deeper connection, and then I truly think like I'm I met my husband, and it was like, Yeah, whatever you are is great. Like, and I was like, Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

There's like this there's a part of being an adult that's so awesome, and I keep telling the kids this too. I'm like, when you're an adult, you can choose. Not that you can't choose when you're in school, but I was the same. I fucking loathe small talk. First time I met you, I think we probably chatted for like an hour because um because I like well, I like to talk, but I like I either have endless things to say or I got fuck all and I'm gonna look bitchy. And I'm not bitchy, I'm just uncomfortable and blocking my energy from and I just being pulled because I fucking can't. Yeah, don't yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

So yeah, I don't even remember how it's it's I I don't know that there is a certain who I had to meet of myself or what version of it.

SPEAKER_04 31:11

I I just think that you just need to be able to be you.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Yeah, I think I just and I mean yeah, I always felt like I didn't fit. And not that there was anything wrong with me. I just knew I didn't fit the mold. Quote unquote mold, whoever created this fucking mold. I know exactly what you're doing. And I always felt awkward and I was just like, why can I do this? Like, why? And I would like, I remember going to like have a girls' night or something and writing down like questions of things that I could ask people because I talk about myself a lot because it's how I relate to people. Like someone says something and then you're like, yeah, one time I, but people centered.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

We're in the same mold, which is why it's just a struggle.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

Yeah, but yeah, I remember writing down questions, being like, Okay, I'm not gonna talk about myself so much. Oh fuck. And then you would just say nothing and be like, why is this so hard? Like, why can't everyone else do this? And then I remember meeting my husband and not feeling the need to talk at all. Just coexisting. People, his buddies would be like, Oh my god, she talks a lot, blah, blah. And I remember um a friend actually told me what he had said. Oh, yeah, I remember telling Maddie, oh, she talks a lot, or whatever. It was during the slow pitch times when he played with Alan and stuff. And someone had said something like that, and he goes, Yeah, well, like at least she's interesting to listen to. Like, she has a story. And like no one had said anything. And I was like, Really? He said that they're like, Yeah, he said he just he he feels that he doesn't have to entertain me, that you can just like tell him stuff, whatever. And I'm like, which is funny because we would like drive out to the farm or be on the countryside driving, and no one, neither of us would say anything. Yeah, and I remember asking him being like, Are you bored? He's like, No, this is nice. I'm like, I don't feel pressure to be anything or to entertain him. And so I had it's not that I wasn't okay with who I was, but it was like he had just given me permission to just be like, sure, yeah, great. He's so relaxed and laid back. And then I think I had to meet a very angry version of myself to not care. So uh I was working at a previous location to the school I work at now, and things had gone great and it was wonderful and and all of that. I loved my job. Um but I had two years of infertility and then just struggled with losses, and it was just like everything inside of me turned dark, and I just didn't have time for petty shit because part of my life was dying every two months, and people just you don't get it unless you've been through it, and so people just didn't understand it, and it was always like, Why are you so mean? And why and I'm just like, dude, like and I hadn't told these people, a lot of them hadn't known, like maybe two of them knew, but even those uh people were just like God, like it is so if you haven't if you haven't walked a certain path, yeah, and you aren't coping inward with shit, because like I don't always need to explain my shit.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

Yeah, like that's there's a time and a place, but like I'm moving through my day, move through your day. I don't need to explain who where I'm at. Sorry, this is where I was I was just speaking to too, is like I always tell the kids once you're an adult, you get more freedom as to like you can choose to not participate in so in like some of the social shit that you get forced in, but like yeah, you're not stuck with the same fucking people, and you don't need to feel I I try to always ingrain, you don't need to ever feel like you need to talk to people. If you don't want to talk, don't talk.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

You don't have to be friends with everyone, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:57

And actually that don't please don't, in fact, yeah, exactly because it's hard.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

No people pleasing, no. Um, and I think that's where I went with this whole, you know, I I had been through like my third loss. Um, we had four losses in 10 months, and it was my third loss. And I just remember one of the individuals I worked with, um, clearly now looking back like going through their own things, yeah, um, projecting dramatically and had really just started being very unkind. And I finally had said, like, I just got out of the hospital like three days ago. So they were messaging me, um, being like, hey, blah, blah, blah, I need this information from you. And I was like, listen, like, I'm just like not in a good place right now. Like, I don't have any of my work with me. Um, had messaged back and was like really aggressive and got very angry saying, like, this is your responsibility to pass this information along. And my husband had taken the phone and like, listen, she's in the hospital. She's had sepsis for the last however many days. I was hospitalized for 11 days with sepsis. And whatever. And they responded, like, well, get me the information when necessary, please.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Ew.

SPEAKER_03 36:09

It was like, really? Okay. And I mean, granted, there were obviously obstacles prior to this scenario between us. Um, we had started as friends. I had like reached out, they were a new employee, welcomed them there, and then jealousy had just kicked in. And and that is their words passion. Yeah, but that like that was their words because I remember being like, hey, like, I'm feeling like hostility here. Like, is there something I need to know? And they had broke down and said, like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And had revealed why they were maybe feeling so hostile towards me and everything, and then had said, like, there's a jealousy factor as well, and the roles that we play in our jobs and stuff. And I'm like, okay, well, like, can't we like empower each other? Like, rather than fighting and tearing each other down, like, that doesn't put you on top. Like, can't we work together? Kind of thing, right? And I thought that things were good, and then this scenario happened, and I was hospitable, and like still was being a shitty human. And I was like, still was being a shitty human. Well, I mean, really. I'm my husband literally just said, like, hey, this is her husband. She has sepsis, she's been in the hospital, and just like, yeah, we'll get the information to me. Okay, cool. Like, good talking to you. Um, and then it just kept going down that path to a point where I just didn't fucking care. And I remember being back at work and we were saying, like, I just got to the hospital. Yeah, I know, I talked to your husband. And I'm like, okay, so clearly you don't give a shit. But and I just said, like, I'm sorry, but like this that you like what we're talking about right now, I'm glad we've addressed it, but like it's just not on my docket right now. What do you mean? Like, this isn't important to you. I said, I'm not saying it's not important, I'm saying I don't have the capacity to give it more energy at this point.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

It's not a priority.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Yeah. And she was like, Well, then what do you have the energy for? And I just said, like, my baby's just died. And I got sepsis because I had another emergency surgery. And when, oh, I didn't know that. I'm like, well, but did like, does that change how you treat me? Like, you knew I was in the hospital. Um, and it didn't change anything how she treated me. It did for about five minutes.

SPEAKER_04 38:12

So interesting how everyone has different I think it's capacity too. I do.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

And I was just like, okay, like this, fine. So I had chosen, this isn't a friendship anymore. And I think that they really enjoyed this whole persona that like we're friends, buddy, buddy, and whatever. And I remember I had had like a girl's night. This was probably like six, seven months later. Had some people from work, some other friends over and whatnot. Um, and they would start like messaging me if they weren't ever invited to something or included in something. And finally, I remember I was walking down an aisle in Walmart and they had messaged me being like, Hey, saw your pictures from last night, look super fun, just curious, like why I'm never invited to things. And I just stopped in the middle of the aisle and I text back very honestly, and I said, I don't think it's any surprise that like you don't like me and that we don't get along anymore. And I think that we're mature enough that like we can choose our friends, and I don't think that we are because this isn't how friends treat each other. And there was reading it, no reply, and that was the end of that. And it was just like bullying after that.

SPEAKER_04 39:21

Did that feel like an anger part of you though?

SPEAKER_03 39:24

I felt like I was in an angry time because I was angry that things weren't working out in my life. And I felt like everything was going and like everything was just snowballing, and then adding this on top, and it was just so much effort. No wonder I was losing babies. Like I was so stressed. My body was just like, okay, we're running from a tiger. Now is not the time to ovulate. Like, you know, things were not going 100%. And I could feel myself just like retreating, not being myself and losing your light. Yeah. Everything was just gone, and I was struggling with like classroom management and not that things were out of control, but I was just like, had no fuse. My fuse was so short because that was not my priority. And I don't care if someone says that it should be, and those are someone's children, but maybe I should have taken a leave. Like I did, I was actually forced on a leave by my doctor after my next loss. And that was probably the best thing for me. And that's when I hit the I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_04 40:21

It comes back down to okay, so you have capacity, but the capacity is being directed in a different place. However, this is where I think we lose our light because I know I don't know you super well, but I resonate. Yeah. And am like, I can I can tell your fucking classroom to you didn't feel organized, but you would have been putting on, doing all the shit you're supposed to do. Emotional not failing at any of it, probably still looking like you're doing a good job because we hold ourselves to a certain accountability. Yeah, but then it's fun, you know? Yes, but then it it feels dark. Um, and it also when when you have to set boundaries and like okay, if I don't connect with someone, I don't feel like I need to be like, hey, we don't really connect. Like I have to say and I have to remind myself of this shit though, because I pick up on, we all do, it's just attunement to it. But like I pick up on energy. If energy is a no-go, I'm good, I'll just walk away from it. I don't need I don't need you to address it, I don't need to address it. It's just like I felt it, we're good. But when you have to then speak to the shit that other people can't feel or won't own, it's fucking exhausting. Well, and then and then you're the bad person. Well, and so you're not, but you know what I mean later. Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean because I had to meet myself in my most challenging chapter, and I resonate with all the things you say, like I'm going through a lot of shit. I'm doing it kind of tucked away because I don't need it to be public, and I need to just be with my own stuff, figure it out and feeling yes, yeah. I don't need to be explaining it while I'm going through it. I just need to go through it and figure it out. And when people don't know that, um, I think it's hard, it's hard. And when people in my life that I needed to set boundaries with, it wasn't even like it's not you're doing something wrong. It's just like hard line, like I'm checked out right now. But oh, when people can't meet you there, it just feels like you're being a shitty person. And that was a huge part of me I had to meet is like I'm not a shitty person because I stood up for myself. I'm not a shitty person because I'm like, hey, you know what?

SPEAKER_03 43:00

No, like everyone else, yeah. And when everyone else knows, like, especially in the scenario that like this one specific one I'm discussing, it was like everyone in our world knew that there was issues. So, like, why is it a surprise? Why is this happening? And I mean, it continued beyond that point, but it was like I just didn't engage. And somehow, so then I had like gone on my mat leave. Um, I had put out that um I obviously successfully became pregnant and carried to term, had my child, went on maternity leave, and yes, like the darkness left. Um, had my baby and whatnot. But also I was just like, oh, all of that had to happen because I need to leave. And I literally called division office and was like, hey, I think I'm ready to like move on. Cut the cord. They, I mean, it wasn't a for sure, but I had just kind of thrown it out there and they were like, Oh, there's all kinds of things. I'm like, no, like I'm trained for grade 10 11. I know what I want. Like, I'm in the middle of my master's because we weren't having kids. Things weren't happening. We had just decided, cool, we'll just be like a rich auntie and all.

SPEAKER_04 44:08

But you were in that fucking place of like feeling like you needed to decide what's next.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

Well, no, a a friend of mine, her husband said something that really just like to this day stuck. And he was like, because they had been in infertility as well. And he was like, I'm just so sorry that you're going through this. I know there isn't a single word I can say that makes anything better. But he's like, there's just something that needs to happen first in your life before the next step, the next puzzle piece can be put down. So annoying, but so okay. And then I remember my husband being like, Hey, you have talked for like three years about getting your masters. Like, we have the time now, just do it. Like you've saved up all this money because we were saving up money in case we needed like IVF and blah blah blah. And then I'm like, God, that just really doesn't align with what I want to put in my body. But like, if I needed it, I needed it, you know. So then I was like, no, like whatever it's gonna be, we had full on decided and said it out loud on May Long weekend that like we weren't going to have children. Little did I know I was currently pregnant. Oh with Coulter. So I was just like, no, we're not going to, blah, blah, blah. And I like enrolled. I honestly didn't think I was gonna get accepted. Um, got my acceptance for my master's and started that. And three weeks into my first class, I found out I was pregnant with culter. And I literally remember being like, of course, of course, okay, cool. So both puzzle pieces go down at the same time. Our house was up for sale, like it had quote unquote sold three times, but always fell through. And we were like, what is happening? You know, like someone they were all pre-approved, but somehow they still fell through. We're like, okay, that like just doesn't happen. And then my husband got offered his dream job. He got into a work accident and like had to leave sheet meddling, but got his dream job offer and like ended up switching, and we were like, huh. Well, the timing doesn't all like within like six, seven months. Oh yeah. It was insane. And I was like, oh my God. Okay, so we're doing this. So we're like finishing up the right, cool. Well, I guess okay, we're having a baby. And we had like just bought a camper being like, well, we're not having kids, so we don't need bunks. And now this summer we're like, shit, we need bunks. Like, we don't have any room, we're like living on top of each other. And but yeah, so we're like, oh my God. And it did all work out. I got a job change to a new school, which I fucking love. Um, and yeah, it was just like the last three, four years has just been, I can't believe it's been four years, but it has just been astronomical. Your oldest is four. Almost January, he'll be four. So, like from the time I found out I was kind of pregnant with him, things just like and like everything changed. We decided we're staying in our house, but like, thank God, because our plan was to like buy an old beater, strip it to the bones, because they don't make them like they used to, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And me both were like, oh my god, could you imagine if I was pregnant in my master's and going to a new school and we were renting a whole house and we were like, no, not in the cards. So yeah, we stayed in our done house because we were listing it, right? So it was finished, other than like now we're doing the backyard, but now you can play. Oh yeah. And then I just like hammered out my schooling um as fast as I could, just a little under two years, and finished that and was done and went back to work.

SPEAKER_04 47:21

And oh my god, it was just Were you already practicing? I forget how long you told me you've been practicing um with your minerals? Yeah, or just nutrition. Just nutrition.

SPEAKER_03 47:33

Okay, so I got my nutri my well, it's not not a it's nutrition, diet, and health science degree. Um, I finished my education degree in 2012, and by 20, I think 17, I got my nutrition, diet, and health science degree and started Roxy's nutrition. So next year will be 10 years. Oh, that's so awesome. It doesn't feel like 10 years, but it's like yeah. Um, started that, and then um, yeah, my more holistic approach, I think it started personally really early on. Um I went paleo for three whole years because I had quote unquote IBS. Oh fuck. And had developed um an autoimmune disease, and there was just no answers. I had like I have no humanity.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

No, those are like, I'm sorry, those are okay, fibromyalgia.

SPEAKER_03 48:33

But like hello, millennial conditions. Fuck, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

IBS. I was also told like you have IBS. Um oh, and autoimmune. Yeah. Like, hey, this is what those say to me, and and I genuinely mean this, is we don't know. So here's a category we'll slip you into.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Well, the year two years before I was born is the first time that women were included in women in health studies. So I mean, there's nothing, right? There's absolutely nothing. And I mean, I don't have TikTok. People just I have the app so that when people send me something, I can open it without it being a clusterfuck. But my husband loves TikTok and he or my sister will send me stuff and it's like, hey, are you the oldest daughter, oldest millennial daughter or something? And it's like, how's your overactive ADHD and your autoimmune disease? And I'm like, oh yeah. No shit. ADHD is like, oh, that's hilarious. And I'm like, my sister will send it to me. She's like, How you doing? I'm like, fuck you.

SPEAKER_04 49:38

Gotta call out a millennial.

SPEAKER_03 49:40

She's like, Did you organize your pantry today?

SPEAKER_04 49:42

I'm like, yeah, got it. Okay. Also, go us.

SPEAKER_03 49:48

Yeah, no, I'm like, we figured it out, man. Like, we are the epitome of like, oh my god, Fabutan with all of the like slathered-on chemicals that smell like fake coconut and like the what was the Calgon sprays from Walmart and all of the shit we put on our face, and I we walked this really interesting chapter out in ditches with the amount of alcohol we consume.

SPEAKER_04 50:17

Like it's interesting to me, and I love these posts about like um we did it when we were kids, and it's like it was fucking don't even started. Yeah, no, I knew I knew saying that because you can't uh I I try to um be cautious about this because I with boomers or people older, not all of them, I don't like to put people in categories, yeah, but like it's a call what we grew up with, it's not the fucking same today. And that was a really big one for me because um let's be honest, the things that, oh, and I'm just as I say this, I'm like having a little bit of an aha, but like the things that we grew up with, that's what you are taught, that's what you kind of lean into typically because it's like you're normal, right? You know, it's comfort. And that was just a really gross switch, and we were in that chapter where what is in foods and what is in our products shifted significantly. But when you think back to when we were talking like pass down wisdom, um it was already kind of like things were convenient, everything was being made more convenient, so that was already starting to be our norm, but also adding shit to it. So that was our I hate to even say this out loud, but that was our like passed down wisdom, and no shame to don't sit here being like my parents passed me down shitty knowledge, that's not it. But like we were mainstream, yeah, and and I understand why it was convenient, and also like parents, it was starting to be two parent working homes, so yeah, that I still I mean this is my personal opinion, but I think we fucked up big time in some ways when two parents started working because the ability to achieve all the things that we're now trying to achieve is incredibly the rat race began. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

There's no and that I think okay, so your inner light starts to get dimmed because you can't do all of it. Can't do it all. Um, so previously um you'd asked me, like, what um, are you excited to go back to work and and whatever? And I just said like I'm not ready for summer to end. And you asked, like, oh, do you mean like the weather or the time or what I mean like the slow morning? Oh yeah. So my chronotype is late morning. I'm the most productive at like 10 o'clock. Um, I do get a lot done prior to 10, but when it comes to like the cognitive world, that's when it begins for me. Um my routine is routine. I like routine, I crave that. So I'm excited to go back to work. I like to like have a reason to put pants on and like, you know, look a little bit nicer than normal. And then I go to work and like visit with adults and I feel purposeful and my, but I also get that at home. Like, you know, I get up in the morning, get my kids ready. I'm taking them to child care right now. I go straight to the gym and then I go home and I shower off or whatever I do, and then I make food, and then I can like, okay, I am now have done the me things for my morning, and now I'm ready to just like I have like the hyper focus ADHD where I can just like sit down for six hours and just crush protocols. Yeah. And I can't do that before like 9 a.m. It's just like if I tried, that is when my brain's like, oh, you should wash a baseboard. I will never fucking wash the baseboard, but my brain wants to do it because it's not ready to engage in the cognitive.

SPEAKER_04 53:57

I think there's also so much value though in you get to start your day for you and take care of you. Yes. I literally part of that. I'm done. I started a new routine on my first week of holidays. Uh, just before my first week of holidays, like last week of school. And my first week of holidays fucking killed it. Like there is nothing like, because I I always say it's a lot of work to take care of me. So I always feel like what a great time to start a new routine, whether it be like health-focused or whatever. Whatever. Just your first week of summer. I always take it off, and it's like kind of setting the bar for my what my self-care routine looks like and my day looks like in the summer. And uh, oh yeah, so I'm on holidays and I literally came back and was like, okay, now I teach a class 45 minutes earlier than I did all year. And you and I had this quick little chat. I'm like, okay, so I need to figure out how the fuck I get up and drink my apple cider vinegar and take my olive oil and then leave 10 minutes before I have my protein, and then this, and then this, and then like, so I was you'd be really proud of me, actually. I'm so fucking proud of myself. No one else in my house. No one else in my house is this proud of me, but this is what I did because I was wanting to set myself up for success, and I set my work schedule around um me first. Good. And so I have the time I get up, I do my things. Sometimes it's eating a piece of chicken on the way to work. Um, then I teach also I'm saying I'm really grateful because I've built my own business and I get some flexibility, but I go teach my class at eight. Then I gave myself an hour and a half to go home and eat breakfast and get my kids going without there being a rush. Then I go back for an hour and a half, sorry, an hour and a half, two hours. Then I gave myself a lunch break. Then I go back for two hours, then I have a piece of the afternoon before I have to go back for the evening. Yes, my fucking work life has always been like that though. Chunk of time, chunk of time, chunk of time. Some seasons I love it, some seasons I don't. I loved it for summer because it set me up to eat and not be, oh, because I eat. We had this chat, but like, um, oh, what is drinking and eating? That's most people's I think that's most women's problem is we lock out. And I'm the same with how long can I hold having to go pee? That was me forever too. Oh my god. And we hate starts. It is such a waste of time. It's such an inconvenience. It's so necessary to be able to do that. Now I need to stop a task, but like the disconnect, this was my favorite part about somatic work, is like recognizing that that's ingrained in us of like schedule, like you eat when it's scheduled to eat, and you pee when it's convenient. Sorry, you're a teacher too. Do you ever tell a kid they have to hold their pits?

SPEAKER_03 57:08

Never, absolutely never. No, I also never tell children they can't eat in my class. Um, the only rule I have around eating is that it must be quiet. And be respectful. And and yeah, well, quiet and um please do not bring in like a family-sized bag of chips. Yeah, fair. Granted, I don't throw that out there because that's some people's option. That is literally their only option. So I just kind of be like, if it can be quiet and like not super messy. Yeah. Um, I'm like, if I'm sorry, but like if you have like something they have to like crack open and then it has confetti you jump out of it. Because you think that that sounds extreme, but this some of the shit you can get from a gas station that like has a wow factor to it is I I mean, it never ceases to amaze me what some of these kids bring. But I'm like, okay, if it can be like quiet and not super messy, I don't want you to hand in that paper with Cheeto all over it. Um, that those are my only two requirements.

SPEAKER_04 57:58

Can't be super loud. That shit, because I literally were like, I'm trying to work with my son on, or that will be that's been a bit of a focus this summer. Is like, are you getting your protein? Are you getting a cardio? You eat it. Are you getting some fibers? Like salt, all of it.

SPEAKER_03 58:13

Do you eat too salt?

SPEAKER_04 58:15

I'm literally already feeling it in my body, a little bit panic of like, are you gonna fucking eat at school? And I have said to them numerous times, like this is because it's literally how you fuel yourself. It's like your gasoline. It is if you aren't eating at school, it's not me being like, shame on you. It's just literally like, how can I, how can I best support you? Do you want me to pick you up at lunchtime? That's never off the table. Will that help you? Like, I already sat down, I'm like, fuck. I might be switching my work schedule so that lunchtime is like I have a hot soup or I take a hot meal to school because I'm also really trying to do hot and warm meals to support the qi and the liver.

SPEAKER_03 59:03

So I was gonna say, don't put out your fire.

SPEAKER_04 59:05

Yes, and but like, oh, so if kids And no microwave, if kids need to eat every year, I'm the parent that's annoying, but I'm like, hey, what are your rules with eating in class? Because my kid is also like me. And if there's visiting opportunity, guess what happens instead? So can he just sit at his desk and eat some food? And if you're in high schools, if a kid is gonna fucking eat, if a teenager's gonna sit and eat food, kids don't celebrate them.

SPEAKER_03 59:33

I do. Yeah, and I normally have my grade 11 12s right after lunch. It just always seems every year that that's how my schedule works out. You don't eat lunch at lunch in high school. Well, okay, so a lot of them do eat lunch, which is great, but not that it's quality food. Um again, not that yeah, it's quality stuff, but they usually bring a lot with them. Oh, yeah. And perfect. You can tell some of them will just shove it in their backpack and I'm like, oh, would you bring me? What are we eating? What are we having today? And they'll be like, oh, I have the I can eat it later. I'm like, no, you can eat it here. And you get like two, three weeks into my class and they're just like, oh, I can eat here. I'm like, again, can't do not make a fucking mess in my room. Yeah. Like, we need to be respectful of people who are whatever. And it can't be really loud, right? Like, I you're not bringing a fucking blender. That's right. Like, this isn't happening. Other people are learning in this space.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:24

Life skills, though, too, of learning to eat at work, too, and snacking when you're like, are you hungry?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:30

Well, I know. And okay, so this goes back to me hating urination, but like the first part of listening to your nervous system is listening when you have to pee. If your body's like, we have to pee right now, go pee. It's your body being like, Oh, she trusts us. Okay, there's trust there. We are safe. We are not running from the tiger. Yeah. We because I mean, anyone who's running from a tiger isn't gonna be like, you know what? We should have a bowel movement right now. Like, this is the perfect time. But if we listen to our body and our body's like, hey, we have to go to the bathroom. Go. Hey, we're hungry, eat. But like, people that it starts though. Most of my clients don't eat enough. It starts though when we're kids, I don't think most people eat enough. People get shocked when I tell them, so right before I got pregnant with Mila, um, I had worked really hard to heal after Coulter because I was just so sick from all the miscarriages and sepsis, and like, well, my body was just I can only imagine to how precious this little person and how grateful for your body you are after 100%. Like the fact that it could do it and that 49 hours of labor, and there he was. It was and then a cesarean, emergency cesarean, but like, and then I got um they sewed my fascia too tight on one side, and I sat up and turned at the same time a couple weeks after and tore my fascia right through to the surface. I so I had so lucky, no stretch marks during my pregnancies. So it was super fortunate. Like I felt like um it was one less thing that I, you know, with appearance, which I don't really care, but you didn't have to fucking another thing I didn't have to release, right? Um, but when that tore, it went right through to the surface, and I gained like I could see the stretch, like the pull marks. I have two stretch marks on the left side where my fascia tore. And um then I got a hematoma and my abdomen filled with blood, and then it got infected, and I got serotonin, and I was just like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, if I hadn't been, if my body hadn't been through enough things, right? Like five losses, sepsis, like it was insane. So I was just like, you know what? Like, we just really need to be gentle with this. And I had worked so hard, and that was where like my deeper mineral journey had started, and I hadn't really told anyone, like, not even my family. My husband knew I was doing a little bit of mineral work because I was asking him to clip parts of my hair and stuff, and he was like, what the fuck is this for? And was doing like these weird lab tests and had done a couple courses and stuff, and I was probably in like one of the best shapes I had ever been in. Um, and not just size-wise, like people noticed because I had slendered, but I had no inflammation. Um, and I felt amazing, and I remember so two of my grade 12 students at the time, um, they were big into bodybuilding and everything, and they went to the gym every day, and they were like, God, like, we're allowed to eat in this class. I said, Yeah, if I eat, you eat. They're like, Well, we just had lunch. And I'm like, Yeah, and it's time for my snack, man. I'm hungry. And the one said, Isn't it rude if I ask you, like, do you know how many calories you eat a day? Is it rude? Yeah, because they were kind of like, yeah, he he oh, he was so sweet. Yeah. Um, and he was, and I was like, No, no, like that's totally fine. I said, Thanks for asking, though. And he, I said, Um, I eat 2,800 calories a day. And he was like, Really? You know that? I said, I only know that because I've been noticing recently, I've been really, really hungry. And so if I'm noticing that I'm hungry and I'm ignoring it, I will do like a day of tracking my food. Yep. And it always turns out I'm eating like half of what I should be eating, and I'm like, fuck. So then I will purposely be like, okay, let's eat and so make sure, like, I'll focus all day, being like, okay, like I'm hungry right now, we should eat. And I'll log just what I eat throughout the day, and then I'll look at it and be like, oh, that was 2800 calories today. Like, and I feel good. Yes, it's funny. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:19

Ellen said, or well, the week j the week before we went on holidays, I was like, I fucking hate this, but I'm downloading an app to track my shit just because I knew I was eating enough. And I yeah, I just wanted to make sure that I was, I've always um, I really went into it the last two years about like trying to make sure I'm getting my proteins. That was like my body was like, hey, that. And so that's what I focused on. I didn't go full carnivore, but I was like focusing on that getting it in. And so yeah, I said to him, I was like, okay, because I hate loathe how obsessive people get about feeling like they need to be tracking every single thing. Obsessive eating disorder right here. Yes, I did it. And as someone who um only did fitness stuff for a really long time, that was never what I advocated for. I would speak nutrition and nourishment stuff. But, anyways, so I said to him, like, ew, I hate that I'm fucking downloading this, but there's a purpose and there's great knowledge that comes with it. So, yes, and I love the purpose of it, isn't to limit my eating, it's not to judge myself, yes, it is um to see my macros mostly and some of the levels. But yeah, I'm like, ew, I hate that I'm doing this. And so then I I have still been doing it because I feel like I'm still trying to stay in my like routine and find I could eat the same food like every day. I could have three days of meals that I just put on repeat. I'm boring as fuck. Yep, I'm good with it. Um, I know variety is important, but I'm also like, uh, we never used to get variety. You got whatever the fuck was growing at that time. So yes, I've been tracking. But then this weekend I was like, okay, I am gonna not give too many fucks one day. I am, I had some other shit that I was working on and I was kind of hyper focused. And yeah, I was like, okay, I wish, I wish people would see how little they're eating though, because I was like not even half of my proteins, I was half of my fibers. Oh yeah. And I was like, ooh, that's not good. No, that's not good, but like, yeah. So, anyways, there's like a time and a place for those things too. Because if last year someone, even my no, even my naturopath was like, Do you want to do like tracking? And I was like, uh, fucking nope. And she's like, because you could do like a meal plan of sorts, and I was like, nope, first of all, I know I'm not a meal plan because I like to in intuitively ask my body, like, what do you need? And it's so awesome too, because if you I've worked real hard on listening to the cues from my body and trusting, which takes practice, it takes a lot so much time practice, yeah. But before I was diving into what I'm doing now, which I'm just a modified my version of Mediterranean, um, but I was already doing like sardines, shrimp, like I was fucking seafooding my. My body was loving it. My body was like meh about beef, likes chicken, and yeah, now I'm like, fuck, my intuition was like this. Yeah. And so, yeah, I just think relationship with food, and as much as for a really long time, I would have been like, ew, I'm not tracking that shit. It's good to do just even once in a while.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:55

I 100% I do it more frequently than people probably think. Like I said, uh, was obsessive for a number of years. I was in the bodybuilding world for a very long time I dated a bodybuilding competitor, and so that was part of my realm and just became obsessive after that. Like a problem obsessive. Yeah, like I wouldn't eat anything unless I had logged it and it was part of my day. Like I literally was like, nope, can't eat that, didn't track it. Like it's not part of my plan today and doesn't fit my macro. Like it was obsessive. Um, that was kind of after I moved home from university and whatnot. Um, we were in this whole like going to the gym twice a day relationship, like had really just burnt a hello autoimmune disease. Yeah, there came my psoriasis and IBS and all the leaky gut and everything that came with it, right? Um, so yeah, that had all happened. I destroyed my body with that whole 90s, 2000s bodybuilding, you know, eating fat-free shit. Um, the if I could eat something that had no calories, great, you know, that whole realm. Another piece that was. 90s diet culture. Yeah, it's what probably the biggest thing. It was it was the whole bodybuilding world that I lived in for like 13 years. And I mean, oh God, I just remember like coming home to visit and people being like, oh, you look amazing. And I'm like, God, I could not lift a chair right now. Like I was like 114 pounds and looked jacked because there was no body fat, but like just so fucking exhausted because I was doing two a days, plus I worked at a gym and teaching Zumba classes. Like, there was just, and I was probably consuming, I think I was somewhere around like that 1500 calories, 1600 calories a day. And I at that point, with the amount of fitness I was doing, likely probably needed 3,000, like double. It was insane. And now, so I mean, I did for years um with my nutrition business and stuff, had clients, you know, doing tracking macros and meal plans and all of those things. And then I mean, I knew I wanted out of it. I had not advertised um for my business for probably like a good three, four years. I did have people come in and out or people come back um and did little like paleo or like the whole 30 is where it started for me. Was um, and people would say to me, like, Oh, that's so extremist. I'm like, yeah, it's only meant to be for 30 days. It's to give your body a reset, like cleanse all the shit out of your system, go like whole organic, whole food only for 30 days, purge your sugar addiction, and then like reset from there. And the whole point of it is to reduce systemic inflammatory foods, and then you reintroduce them one at a time and be like, oh, that's where my body reacts to that. And then I didn't stop there, and I felt really good with that, so I started eating paleo, but the amount of people who give you shit about eating one thing that's not fucking paleo, I was like, dude, it's not, it's not like I'm not, I'm living a lifestyle, not like a hey, this is in the rule book.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:53

And just moved from there and was like, okay, but like why can't I eat dairy? Like I used to be able to get so caught up though. So it's like as soon as you say you're one thing, you have to fulfill that title. And I'm just like, no, I don't have to. Fuck you. I don't care. And so then it came into like, okay, like, why do I grow in and out of like lactose intolerance? Like, this is not okay. Like, why is this a thing? When I was pregnant, oh my god, all the fucking ice cream I wanted and not shitting myself. This is great, like breakthrough. And then my minerals came back. And as I I was like, you know what? I have heard that you can like heal this. I think I think that's gonna be my target. So my had gotten my minerals back to a good place, and I was like, all right. That's huge though.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:37

Though that's giving yourself like okay, no, yeah, for sure, but to even give yourself permission for your body to heal. Yeah. That's like I won't work with someone who isn't on the same page in belief that my body can heal. Yeah. Like that's like your body can heal itself. If I can't have that conversation with you, you're probably not someone that I'm gonna do. It's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:05

Yeah, yeah, no. So it was just like, okay, I can do this. Like, I've heard that we can reverse this. I also have heard that like this is minerals are working with like reversing the graying of hair. Not that I don't want to, you know, age, but just like that's fucking cool. And I'm like, God, I started getting gray hair when I was like 18.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:25

Nerd.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:26

I know, and I'm like, but like 17 or 18 years old, I started getting gray hair. I'm like, God, that is not normal. Really? Yeah, my dad did too. So we directly inherit our mineral balance at birth from our mother because they can only give us what they have, right? And so this is why a lot of people say, like, oh yeah, like my mom's been lactose intolerant, and my mom's mom, like, you know, where we it's just been passed down. Yeah, because you're all deficient, because they can only give you what they had. So if they lacked something, you therefore lack it too. And so I was like, huh. So it took five months, and now I literally just drank this entire latte right here with whole milk from the creamery in Martinsville and uh full cream. Like the amount of calories that were in that latte right there was my day. And it was amazing. And then I was like, hmm, I wonder if I can heal my sons. So then I did his hair test because he struggles with dairy. Yeah, he drinks full fat milk every morning and he's totally fine. No, you know, um rash on his arms, he doesn't have a burning tummy, nothing.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:40

Whole food. Oh my god, did you and I have the chat about fats? Nope, it was somebody else. Um, just about like eat it all, the amount of healthy fats that I get in a day. Like, okay, I downloaded an app, I downloaded my tracking app and and was like, fuck, this is so annoying because it's telling me, you know, how it goes, what's your age? What's your whatever? And I'm like, BMI can go fuck itself. No, that's not like all I've always been like boobs in a butt. Yeah, right? Don't give me your weight and your height, and me give you a magic fucking number. No, no, we're comprised of different things. Yeah, let's not. Anyways, my app's like after breakfast almost, it's like, you have eaten 75% of your fats for the day. And I'm like, you can go fuck yourself though. But so every day I'm like over, over. And I was like, just like the inner me. I'm like, but I did a good job and I knew it. So I paid the extra, I think I paid 40 bucks for the app for the entire year. And I was like, now I can fucking put how many of everything is my goal. Yes. And so now, yes, by the time I'm done my lunch, it's like a regular person if you're following. My breakfast is like what people would have for fat for the day. Yes. Well, like I take my I'm taking um holly or high polyphenol olive oil with like medicinal grade, and it's fucking spicy as shit. But I take my one tablespoon and like that's like a quarter of what a regular, not a regular person should have, because we're all do have. I'm like, everyone is so, so different. But yeah, I'm like, I will pay extra for this app so that I can get a star when I reach my stupid goal instead of literally being like having to unlearn that though, because why do you need the star? Well, yeah, unlearning the star for sure. But unlearning the whole food shit. Yes, and like how we think, how we've been trained to believe that it's bad. Oh, you might have done a post, you have done a post about that countless times.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:52

The the not the 90s diet culture is the biggest thing I try to un like unlearn from people, I guess. My clients, um, I have them submit a food log and some of them get nervous because I mean, history has proven that like we're gonna count this and blah, blah. And I tell them, I don't even give a shit what the measurements are. Just tell me. And a lot of the time I literally sit there and I'm like, I can imagine approximately how much someone would put on their plate and whatever, you know, the average, there's averages. And I would say almost. I'm not even gonna say nine times out of ten because it's greater than that. 99% of the time, I'm telling people, like, fuck, you need to eat more. And dude, salt. Yeah. Salt.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:30

Well, that's another thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:31

Like, people just blame salt for what sugar did. Yeah. Oh, salt is just like Celtic sea salt and Himalayan salt's good too, but um, something a lot of people don't know is so Celtic salt, the reason we we go for Celtic sea salt, is that Celtic is the way it is harvested and they preserve the nutrients that are in it. So if you are someone who needs more electrolytes, like say you're an elite athlete or um you run or whatever it is, and you just need more, or you have like that two to four p.m. crash or that brain fog all day long, if you get like one or two grains of Celtic sea salt, crush it between your teeth, and then drink down your filtered water, there's a Gatorade. Yeah. It is packed full of magnesium, obviously your sodium, um, but your potassium, add some cream of tartar to that. Yes, just the baking cream of tartar. It's just like concentrated potassium. Like 98.2% of the population does not hit their potassium intake for that. Magnesium. Well, magnesium, oh my god, don't get me started. I would say between probiotics and magnesium, they are the most over-prescribed, but not properly utilized. Like, yes, if you're tired and you need some help to like go to sleep, everyone's just popping magnesium. But like, what kind? There's all these different kinds. Are you taking the right kind? But also if you're someone who's living in fight or flight, you probably are burning through it to the point where we don't need to make it worse. Maybe we should switch to like a glycine or a taurine or something because your nervous system is what's keeping you up, not a lack of magnesium.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:03

Or fucking start changing why you're always on fighter. And that's what I mean. Like, I'm sorry, but I mean, sorry, I'm not saying go change your life instead of taking magnesium. That's not what I'm saying, but it is a gentle nudge of like what's your body telling you?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:18

Um yeah, like you're you naturally, your body naturally isn't just like in fight or flight because you're deficient in certain things, right? Like, um, someone was telling me the other day, like, oh, it was a client came in and we did like our little protocol and our interview thing. Oh, that's what it was. Um, so she has developed uh Vitaligo for Vitalego, yeah. And she was just like, so the red light therapy helps. I was like, God, I love red light therapy, it's great, but like why did it start? Did they ever look into it? And she was like, Well, no, I I don't really think so. And I was like, okay, and expected that answer, right? Like, why are we gonna look deeper kind of thing? And she's like, I've just been like doing more research here, and she personally has done like every other client, I pretty much. I was gonna say like so much research, so much people know they know what's going on with their body, they're used to being told they don't know. Yeah, but when they sit down, I'm just like, tell me, because I know that you know your your nervous system knows. Like, tell me what it is. And so then I just said, like, do you know why? Well, I'm not really sure. And I said, No, like tell me, because you don't have eat oligo because you're red light deficient. She was like, Well, that's true. And I was like, My goal would be that you don't need the red light. Like, we could use it for other things, right? Like healing the mitochondria, but like we you don't you didn't develop it because you didn't sit in front of a red light that whole life. So there is something happening in your lifestyle. Like you, these people end up in front of me or messaging me because of their lifestyle. And you can't come to me and say, I want this because I can build, you know, custom vitamins for people. Um, you're not gonna take the custom vitamin and then like everything's just gonna be better. You need to change whatever it is that has put you in this state because no one's coming to save you. No one's gonna change your life for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:04

And even when it comes to like herbs and natural remedies, they're also you don't take the same thing forever. No, like we should constantly be adjusting. Um, I think lifestyle is such a huge one. It's the hardest one.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:21

It is because it's ingrained in this Eurocentric rat race.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:25

Yeah, so you're you're automatically wired to be in fight or flight because that's how our world feels.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:32

Until your body can't fight or flight anymore, and then they come to me and they're crashed and depleted, and they're just like, I can't anymore.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:40

Yeah, yeah, which is I now view, I'm grateful to be on not on the other side, but like in the thick of it, that those are invitations. Those are your and I truly believe there is nothing on the earth that can't heal whatever it is that you're working through. But you have to build a relationship with yourself, you have to learn to trust yourself, your intuition. You have to, I think, give yourself that permission slip to know that it's not like something you have to carry with you your whole life.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:16

If you don't, and that is like my biggest. But that's where the woo-woo. Yes, oh, for sure. You don't have to feel like shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:23

And you shouldn't. Yeah. It is common, it's normalized normal. You don't have to, oh okay, this is a big one that comes out for summertime when people want to wear bathing suits and whatnot. You don't have to not participate with your family, your kids, or whatever it is your friends are doing because your period is so heavy that you can't do anything else that's not normal. Oh, well, and I will tell you right now, the biggest tread or sorry, the biggest um thread I'm seeing with women who are struggling with that postpartum, they've all had girls. They're having very similar mineral imbalances, which is relating to the balance of sex hormones, like copper is heavily influenced by our estrogen. Um, all of the women who are coming to me, myself included, also went through the same thing. Um just like insanely heavy cycles to the point where like we feel sick and nauseous and you're changing every hour. And like, no, that's guess what? As soon as I got mine back, the first one was kind of wonky and whatever. That is normal. Body's figuring out what it's doing. The next one's super heavy. I was like, fuck this. Not happening. Your period is is literally a progress report of how well you've taken care of your body, but also it happens in cycles, so every third one could be like a huge flush, too. So you get one every month, but then you get like the big report every three months, and that is a larger indicator. So what you do in the other three weeks is gonna depict what happens in that week, and you should not have headaches, you should not, you know, blow up to twice the size, you should not be in pain. That shit's been so normalized, though. Oh my god. The amount of people who are like, I'm just on an IUD or I'm just on birth control for it. I'm like, okay. Um, when you come off of that, I'm here.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:12

Do you know how many young women have that I have trained or whatever that will come and talk to me about um birth control and how they really would rather not be using it? And I'm always like, I'm not, I can't sit here and because I'm usually like a trainer or just supporting them in their wellness, I can't say to you and like I always want to be like, I know this isn't an option, but it's like have this conversation with your mom. My daughter and I talk about this all the time. And um, I just oh, I I do feel though, like uh the younger, the younger population's going to start to understand they need to lean a different person.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:55

Oh, they're doing amazing. Yeah, they I mean there's boys who are like, oh, my sister's in her luteal phase. I'm like, good for you, man. Good for you for fucking knowing this shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:03

To like lean into instead. Um, I don't know if you want to speak to this, but what is the what is the band-aid for that in Western medicine? Band aid for for all the symptoms postpartum of like or maybe it's not post-partum. Yeah, no, it was.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:21

You said it was lots of women. Well, yeah, a lot of women postpartum, but I mean there are women who haven't had any children who are also going through it as well. But like, what is the what are doctors giving them? What does that get birth control?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:32

Oh, yeah. Doctors are giving them birth control. I know some teenagers that are on two types of birth control, and it makes my heart so acne and regulating Um your cycle is birth control.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:46

Oh, yeah, I was one of those even actually. Hormonal birth control. So what would I recommend instead? I don't like I don't like throwing out. No, no, you also don't have to go there. No, I don't um I don't like throwing out like um certain things because everyone's different, but if I could get like absolutely what will make things better, take care of your liver. Yeah. Drink dandelion tea. Um, drink lemon juice, like lemon water. Um, it cleanses your colon, helps filter everything out. Your skin will clear if your liver is clear. Um, I think I've said it on previous podcasts too. Like your skin is a reflection of the condition of your liver. And if toxins can't leave, if you're not having a healthy bowel movement at least once a day, and I don't mean runs or not, like a healthy formed one, it'll come out through your skin.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:35

Um liver should be the thing I feel like we know the most about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:41

Like, yep, that in your uterus, like, geez, holy lord, who do we need to start that early, early? Um, but also like understanding what ovulation is besides just making babies. Yeah. Like I have an entire, entire couple pages in every protocol I give any female that literally just explains the different parts of ovulation and like different cervical mucus, and like, oh, if you don't have this type, this means you're probably deficient here. That's a problem. That's that is a problem. Like, you need you should be able to know, like, hmm, I'm gonna ovulate right away. Like, yes, everyone should know that. Or oh, I have ovulated or have not. Yes. I have clients who are like, um, I don't know. It happened on this week, and then three days later, I'm like, dude, maybe you hyperovulate. What's that? I'm like, how do you not know what that is? Because we're not told. Oh no, I know. We are not educated on these things. We're just given birth control.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:38

I have a really awesome friend who sent me a video the other day, and I was like, ooh, I think I might be this person now. This will be too much information for some, but I hope my dad's skip ahead 10 seconds. But okay, so how um we've been made to feel like periods are gross. That was a really big thing. And like the magic in them. But also, I speak to this a lot, just like the different seasons that each week of the month and each phase of your cycle represents. It represents literally the seasons, it represents moon phases, all the fucking things. Like all of the things do a whole episode about that. But um, how that is a reflection of your overall wellness and what actually is going on in your body, what you're releasing. Alan, I didn't realize this till he went to our um lady that does blood analysis, but like men need to be going and giving blood or doing some sort of bleed because it's literally how you reset. Yeah, it's how you rejuvenate. And I have had to um build this like I fucking love my period now, but my friend sent me a video about um there's there's so many sources that they're leaning into of what makes. Menstrual blood actually can do, which should be no surprise. I like seeing some. Okay. But um, I was even reading a study that's going on right now about helping like neuropathy and nerve regrowth and stuff like that. But so the video was this lady who was collecting her menstrual blood, diluting it a bit and watering her plants and showing videos about how fucking-so my daughter's face, sorry, Melee. But I was like, okay, I think I'm gonna try this and I'm pretty fucking excited about it to see what happens to my banana tree. And so I'm gonna fucking share it on social media. But it's like it's there's so much power in it, and there's reason to it, and it's uh just another thing that I'm like, ick, because we should take full interest in that.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:51

Well, and also men made it ick.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:55

Men made it ick. Like, sorry, and not throwing a label to men, but like those fucking ick men that started making shit shitty for health.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:06

It's um it's also like for women, it's a it's a detox pathway. Yes, right. Like you can cleanse parasites out through it. It's insane. Um, but all like same with anything, right? Like that's why we're cautious when we're breastfeeding too, right? Like we don't want things to so anything, it leaves your system. But there's just oh, whatever. We could go on for days above. Yeah, we could. But like it is something that you should be paying attention to, and everything's just covered up with birth control. But I will say I have a number of like between like ages 13 to 18, 19 year old female, and and some male clients as well, but um specifically speaking to the female ones who are all like, yep, nope, not on birth control. Tried it and went off that and like I'm just like sweating because the number of women I have between ages 28 and 40. I can only imagine and 40 to 50 and up who are on birth control. Oh I actually have two clients who are they claps snaps for them, um, just went off of their birth control and like they had their tubes removed. They're literally on it because they could their menstrual cycles were just so intense and they had horrific symptoms, and they came to me being like my doctor literally was like, Oh, go on birth control.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:20

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:21

And they're like, but I don't have tubes, like I can't have, and they're like, Yeah, well, we need to regulate this. And they and I'm both of them, um, like I said, snaps to them. They were on it like the one in like maybe four months, and she's like, I'm literally on it just so I could like get the next answer, and I'm coming off of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:35

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:36

And I was like, good for you, but like literally a doctor is sitting there being like, Well, they can't have children. I'm literally using something to help you regulate this rather than dive deeper as to why.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:45

Okay, but I I think I've said this on a previous episode, but I used to have a client who is a doctor, and she did my postnatal um movement and fitness stuff, and she was like, I learned more from you in the one month that we did pelvic floor stuff than I learnt in school. And I'm like that, but this is where I also, this is where I meet um Western medicine practitioners, is that I know you're getting bare minimum. Yeah. And I know this is the education you're getting. So it's not a I have zero shame on you. Yeah, but like I am like, take interest. Please take in interest because you're not that's not gonna change.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:23

My favorite favorite favorite doctor of all time, he was my family doctor, and he always said, like, he was the one who told me when I had told him I was going in for my nutrition degree, and he said, like, I only had to do one course. Yeah. And so he's like, if you want to know more information, I'll find you someone who knows more. He's like, I don't know that. And if you or whatever I was going through, he would always be like, you know what? I don't know that because we're not taught it. So I'm gonna send you someone who does. And he would send me to that.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:47

And I applaud anyone, including myself, that's important to me. If I can't do or have the answer for you, I love to say, oof, like, let's find someone to support you with that. Yep. I love that 100%. All right. So um, to kind of pull this all together, I always think because it it can be exhausting. And we're also in a place where there's like so much information and so many different avenues you can go that um I think it's important to prioritize what feels right for you. Um, honor the season that you're in, because there are seasons where, and in saying that, I think you need to always be in season. Um, but there are seasons where our energy is going to different places and we might feel overloaded. So I would love if we could just kind of spin the last bit of our conversation just into maybe what you would recommend uh and what your takeaways are or how to guide that. Like how do we how do we honor uh what we need to take to take care of ourselves and stay within it feeling like manageable was the word I was looking for.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:16

Yeah, I think it comes with the practice of just starting to listen, first of all. Like we said, that takes a lot of time, and I know that that's exhausting, but it's something that used to be a thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:26

And do it before the universe slaps you in the face, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:29

Like, right? Like we don't need uh to be, what was I like 20 years old with an autoimmune disease and not understanding that I actually didn't learn that my autoimmune disease was an autoimmune disease till like 10 years later. I'm not joking.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:43

Well, and live trying to live in a fashion that you are healthy and maintaining health versus but also like what is health?

SPEAKER_03 1:33:57

Well, it's different for everybody. Yeah, like I but I'm feeling like right now, okay. So the wellness trend is happening, which is great. I love it. Um, but also the wellness trend is taking off to be things like pre-packaged pouches that we consume and pills and vitamins and um herbs, which is great, but they're like 17 times the price that they need to be, and they're being grown in a lab somewhere, and I understand that not everyone has the ability or the knowledge or the space to you know do it all themselves, and you don't have you don't have to, but like why do we all need to have every tool for wellness? Just like lay down and put your feet up. So charging the sign. Yeah, like I just feel like anytime there's an opportunity to make money, and having said that, I'm someone who has a profitable business for wellness, but like I mean, in terms of advertising the next big wellness trend to you, um, I think in order to keep it manageable, it it does depend on your scenario. I mean, if you're someone who has come to me because you wake up counting down the seconds until you can lay down again, yours might look a little bit more um structured than what someone else who's like, who I'm tired this season because you know my babies are in everything and I'm driving them all over the place. So maybe it's starting with like, are you balancing it? Um, I had this conversation with one of my 16-year-old athletes clients. Um they perform very well. They are a phenomenal athlete and they work so diligently, like they're so dedicated. But then I said, like, okay, so when you go home, like how do you make sure you balance that? Like you just ran for like three hours straight, off and on. Are you going home and like letting your body physically not not you know talking, you know, positive self-talk, but like physically, somatically letting your body know, like I'm not running anymore. And they're like, well, no. And like that is just as important, if not more important, because they came to me and their minerals are gone. Like their fuel tank is empty, but their cherry cans are also empty. And they're like, I just can't get to that next level of performance. And it's because they're not replenishing. So the same thing happens for anyone. You don't have to be a 16-year-old athlete to go home and intentionally set 10 minutes of downtime. I would say that is probably one of the biggest things I put on a protocol is like, do you have intentional downtime? Oh, that's so huge. And I ask specifically mommies, but I ask in my, you know, intake interviews and whatnot and our little meet and greets. Um, if I asked you, and I kind of try to make it a big number off the hop so that they feel the impact of it, but if I asked you to go home right after this and lay on the floor for 30 minutes, no book, no podcast, no music, and just like breathe deeply for 30 minutes. You can't do anything else. Like, how do you feel? And most of them actually will sit back and retreat, which let shows me physically that their nervous system is like, no, I can't do it. And so I immediately tell them your body is rejecting that because you have lived in a heightened state for so long that your nervous system thinks that that's it's normal. That's it's comfort, that's it's safe because that's what you have told it. But if you more frequently downregulate your system, and even though there's gonna be push, it's gonna try to pull you out of that because it feels unsafe. If you more frequently lay down and put your feet up and just teach your body it can downregulate and do nothing, that will become your new normal. Your nervous system will calm down. And I don't, I hate comparison. I never want to compare anyone to anyone else. But when someone tells me, like, well, I just can't slow down, I like to just tell them you're choosing that. Um, I understand that there are a million things. Yeah, there are a million things that need to happen. And I mean, my driving kids to an um, you know, a sporting event is vastly different than someone who lives in Calgary and has to spend two hours in traffic. Like, I get that. But like those two hours in traffic, when you're sitting at a light, you can deep breathe. You can hum. Hum activates the vagus nerve, right? Like you can downregulate. There are little things that we can do that can make it feel manageable. You don't need to be standing on a vibration plate while you are doing oil pulling in your mouth. And you don't have to do those things.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:37

I think it comes back to like I have to do a lot of the same things I used to do, but I do them now in the moment too, which changes it. And when you were talking about that athlete, it's like a huge piece can even be if laying down for and I know that was just your like to make people feel that, but like so is going for a light walk, yeah, and like scanning that also tells your nervous system, and so I always tell people like your their starting points, like and it doesn't need to be a life shift where you are doing nothing and you don't have your stressful job. It's how to keep yourself connected with your body somatically and checked in on where you are because our like you mentioned and I meant to I meant to clarify this, but like being chased by a tiger, is that what the example? That like I know what you mean, but that's literally like our body. If we're staring at a screen and we don't look up from the screen, staring at something signals to your nervous system that you are in danger and you need to be locked in on something. Yeah, so letting yourself scan the room. I said timers, I live off timers, but like okay, I'm on my computer for this task, my timer goes off, I go outside for five, 10 minutes, or like it's just little things. And it doesn't mean you have to drop everything and start at ground zero.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:12

It's just like I'm not asking you to change your clothes and like put your hair up and take your makeup off just to go for a walk. I literally mean like I work in a school. I can walk from my classroom to the bathroom over to the office, say some hi to people and go back to my room, and that could take me five, 10 minutes, and that's a walk.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:29

Yes. Well, and it's little, you can have two people with different mindsets and intentions moving the same path, but living very differently. Absolutely. Uh and but it I will agree, a huge piece of it is being able to stop and check in. And it's a choose your hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:48

Because you can be uncomfortable. I love hosting space for this with high performance athletes, but let's do a breath work session for 20 minutes or restorative yoga. And you know what's really interesting? I do this with my youth in the summer too at my studio, but um you think there's gonna be a big resistance. They love it, but like there's usually 1% maybe in a group of 30 kids. There's one or two kids that shuffle, move, but lots of times it's also they're looking for attention. So it's not even that their body doesn't want to, it's just they're in a different headspace. But yes, you always think the body's gonna resist it, but as soon as you settle in, your body actually goes, It's about fucking time. Yeah, it is. So it's not that your body can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:39

Yes, I would agree with that. It's it's that you just need to make it a new normal. Yeah. And that is something I I put, like I said, I put in the protocols like set 10 minutes and set a timer. I do tell them that set a timer so that you don't have to constantly check the time. And like I told you, I have this tick as a teacher where I'm constantly checking time. So I live on timers so that they just go off and I'm like, oh, what was that one for? And look at and be like, oh, I should go look at the sun now.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:02

Let's me be in the moment because I have zero time comprehension, which I used to think was shitty. I now know is a flex because I'm so present in what I'm doing that meh.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:15

But also I find the reason I like to have a lot of lengthier conversations and maybe some people get annoyed, but I voice note fucking everything. Like I love video and voice note. Yeah. Um, to me, it's a connection piece. Yeah. Um, but also it lets me hear urgency. So I have people who will tell me, you know, they're listing off the things in their day, or they're listing off whatever it is that's stressing them. And I just tell them, like, not everything's an emergency. It doesn't have to be an emergency. Like, I'm learning it too, right? Like we're on our way to go somewhere and whatnot. And my kid wants to put his own, he's in that phase. He wants to put his own shoes on. He wants to put it, and I just stand there and I'm like, Good job. Great. And my husband is struggling a lot with that. So we went and we were looking for um citronella candles and everything for um my daughter's birthday on the weekend. And of course, everything's sold out, but I was like, okay, I've heard they're restocks in some places. Have you heard of like the pie active? It's like a deep-free whatever. So we were trying to find the specific can that I'm not gonna feel like horrific about um spraying and whatnot. And um, yeah, so anyway, we're driving and like my son wants to put his own seatbelt on. And like I I do the driving to child care and everything because I'm I'm home right now. And so my husband isn't in this season with us. And so he's getting in, he's like, Come on, buddy, we gotta go. And I can tell that my son, who's so empathetic, is like just getting a little riled up and he's like, We can't go yet because I don't have it on. I'm like, Do you want mommy to help you? No, I want to do it. So then I just look at my husband, I'm like, Breathe. We're not in an emergency. Yeah, we have to find it. And I'm like, and if we're meant to find it, we will find it.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:51

Do I also just want to go right now? Yes. But like, is it important that he feels that he's accomplished something?

unknown 1:43:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:59

Because in 20 minutes, it's not gonna matter, and we're gonna be going through this 40 times today. So just do it. So then my husband just like puts it in park, and I can tell he, I can feel he's just like agitated, and I'm just like, I don't care. I need to, that's not my problem. I need to let it go.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:13

Is this moment that bad? Because that was a huge one, was just like this moment. This moment, like this moment is the bomb.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:23

Yeah, like just leave it.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:25

Oh, and if you can do this moment check-ins, yeah, huge, and they're free.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:29

Yeah, and and so that is what I try to get to people is like if you feel like you are, even if you're talking to someone and you're just rambling off this list, why is that list any different than anyone else's list? Why are you making it like someone's gonna fucking die if you don't get a specific cupcake or some a sp whatever done that day? Like, well, then I have to go to this and I have to get my grocery. Fucking get them delivered, man. Yeah. Like, or don't. Sometimes, yeah, I was like, or just fucking don't. Like, order a fucking pizza. Yeah. Is that a whole food? No, but guess what? That's your fucking balance today. I don't give a shit. Like, we just I'm so tired of, like, we were just talking. I'm so tired of this all or nothing mentality. And I think there is a realm of us who are in that wellness industry who are opposing that whole like, you need the new fitness tool, and here's a walking pad, and here's a whatever. I've never been the trend girl. No, and like don't mean wrong, there are certain things I have, but they work for me. I do not advertise them to people, I don't tell people that they need them. But it is something that works for my system for me right now. Like, right now, right? And it's something that is that is adding to my life, but I can't stand the whole I fell off the wagon because there is no fucking wagon. There is no track you need to be on. You don't need to be like, well, I have to do this and I have to do that. And yeah, I do recommend if you can drink a certain tea in the morning and it helps with this and sets you up for your day. Are you gonna die if you don't do it? No, I just did three whole weeks without any part of my quote unquote on track. I literally just threw caution to the wind and it was like the greatest three weeks. Not because I wasn't doing them, but because I knew that my body was in a good enough space that I didn't feel like absolute garbage without them because I do implement them regularly.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:20

And I think I think a huge piece for people is and these that all of this is free, but it's building up that relationship again of first of all noticing what you're actually feeling.

unknown 1:46:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:34

Because oh my god, our body is trying to communicate with us always. Yeah, listen. Then like trusting what your body's trying to tell you. Like, if your body tells you you're tired, are you tired? And learning to be able to like ask, are you tired? No, I'm actually really uncomfortable in this room. Okay, let's get the fuck out of this room. Um, and then just like allowing that pause is just so huge. Um and giving your like I can't say enough times that like I wish I had one routine that I could just lock in on and do it. And I think maybe I don't know where that comes from. I probably the like this is my morning routine, because you still see that shit. These are the 20 things I and like I love meditation, I love my acupressure mats, I love being outside, I love doing restorative yoga, I love breath work, I love all these fucking things, and I literally think of them as tools. And I I've learned to do check-ins on what do I need? Like, what do I need right now? I'm really focusing on nourishing my body. Yeah, I'm not then doing all the things I might have done before. And so I just think that's so huge because our bodies, this is where the exhaustion piece comes up, and it also gets emotional. And this is where I think it's really important to sit with those emotions of like our bodies have always known what to do. Yeah, um, I think the biggest piece is the disconnect, right? And then the band aid method because um living holistically is a lifestyle. You don't get quick fixes in anything holistic. Um, it's an investment in yourself, in your energy.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:28

And a lot of things get quote unquote worse before they get better. And and it's hard to have people understand. Um, so I will have clients who say, like, oh, this symptom flared, or I have a new, you know, like my psoriasis flared up, or this or my acne. And I'd like you brought that up. I try to explain to people, I'm using the term, you know, it's gonna get worse before it gets better, but it's not actually getting worse. It's your body feeling permission and energized enough. It has enough fuel to be like, let's take the trash out. Yeah, yeah. The first thing. So I always describe on my I do voiceovers. Glad that you brought this up. When when people um get a protocol with me, I have like a just like a 50-60 page document kind of thing. And then I do a voiceover video going through it to kind of explain it. And I always end up saying in there, like, if your body was a house, and right now I can see, you know, someone's like detox or talk um their toxin load is really high or whatever it is, or they have like copper tox or something, and I'll say them, like, you're living in a hoarder's house right now. Everything is stuck inside. If you had decided this was the day that like everything was going to change, and we finally, you know, we get like an adrenal cocktail in you, and we're getting enough nourishment and your electrolytes and your body can create enough ATP, you know, that that energy. Um, the first thing that's gonna happen with me and my crew coming to help you is we're gonna clean the shit out. Like we're clean in house and we're purging. So you're gonna have, you know, maybe some flushing symptoms. You might get like myself postpartum. Oh my god, the body odor. Like for like five days straight, my sweat. Lucky lady. I just my body purged, my gums were bleeding, my breath was bad. And but I mean I had emergency cesarean. I had a major surgery as well. I had all of this, and my I was just like, all right, here we go. And my body was just ready to be like, let's get that all out so we can have a clean slate, right? And we I did all of that. Um, and so it's not that it, I mean my acne got really bad too. The hormones were just pushing, toxins, everything. But then it was like it was all gone. Yeah, it was like nine days of shit, and it was just awful. Some people have none of those things, it's very mild. Uh, my mom went through like two days of it, like her body was a lot better than I think that her soul.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:42

So important that that's brought up because that would have probably when I think back, like those things would have scared me. But let's let's remember. I'm sitting here being like so grateful for the shit I've had to learn. But um, what we label as a symptom was really always the hey, your body's trying to tell you something. Yeah, it wasn't ever something that needed, sorry, maybe not always ever, but sign or symptom, sign or symptom. Which one is it? Sign or symptom. Like, because even like I switched when I switched my meal stuff, it was like, okay, I'm expecting some things to come up because my body's detoxing. Got the phlemmiest cough, the like biggest sinus diet, like, and people are like, Oh, do you have a cold? I'm like, I actually am pretty sure I'm detoxing. And like, when I think back though, it probably would have been if I would have gone to my doctor, I bet I would have got like an antibiotic or been given like you need to go get this. And you had amoxicillin in a heartbeat. I had a really funny eye thing happen the other day, and I was like, I sat with myself, I laid down, feet up on the wall, and just rested. I was like, okay, let's remember all the changes that are going on and laid there for a little bit, let it kind of pass, was doing a little bit of digging into like what could that represent? And it was like left side of my face, and all the things that came up, I was like, that was exactly what my body told me was it's just changes. Like, trust the changes moving through. But they make us feel panicky because they feel like something's wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:18

Yeah, something's wrong when really so. Like, my I'm in a gut protocol right now on like phase three of my gut protocol out of the four phases, and like my psoriasis is a little flaky. I mean, it's not flared, I wouldn't say, looking at it, but like it's a little flaky. Um, it's some things are purging, and oh my god, back in the day, I'd have been like, oh my god, my psoriasis is coming back up. And now I'm just like, well, yeah, I'm in a gut protocol and moving shit. Like I literally just like intook this huge garlic capsule, and like things are moving, right? Things are going through. Um, same, same with you know, people are like, oh, I always get acne after this or there. And I'm like, okay, so you probably need to poop more. Like your body was like, hmm, well, she's not pooping, so we're gonna get it out. Like your body doesn't want those things, your body can heal it. For itself for you, and it's so good. I think it's really important. I think those are like two big takeaways that I I want people to know that signer symptom. Is it a sign? Like my psoriasis flaring is a sign that my gut is really unhappy right now. Um, it's also a symptom that something is going on. Yeah, but it is talking to me, right? If I'm really bloated, right? There's, you know, something's likely fermenting, we're not moving things through. No, you have IBS, right? You know, my stomach acid might be low, or maybe I need to have bitter foods before my my, maybe my bile's just not like up to date, or whatever it is, right? Whatever that is, just lay there and be like, okay, what do I need? And sometimes, honestly, people are like, well, I don't even know what I would need. Fucking Google it. Like, I'm not saying Google's gonna be your answer. What I'm saying is it's a physically type something in that says, like, hey, holistic remedy for bloating. Like, if you just put the word holistic on there, you know what's my favorite thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:56

You might get things. My favorite thing is to put in things I'm taking. Oh god. And no, and and here, it pisses me off, but here, okay, Google, give me the answer that is supposed to be fed to me. And then I go, Chinese medicine, blah, blah, blah. Or holistic, blah, blah, blah. And then it goes, oh, you're one of those kind of people. Okay, well, here's what I'm gonna tell you because oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:24

My Google searches are so vastly different. I have a friend who's always like, hey, what would I do you have any recommendations for this? And I'm like, well, and they're like, oh, that's not what I Googled. And I was like, okay, but what words did you put in Google? Because did you put in holistic or natural, or did you just say, hey, I have this symptom?

SPEAKER_04 1:54:40

It can be supportive, and your friend, like, I'll never forget I put in chlorella. And it was like, that is not recommended by Western medicine blogging. No, of course it's true. And I was like, perfect.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:53

If you're yeah, I was like, it's also if you have like eye twitches or you're um after your period and you're trying to get your estrogen out, like you could take some chlorella and it'll bind your hormones out for you. Like so funny. I love that. Um yeah, so I guess like my big takeaway for people is that we're fed this line of like it's gonna get worse before it gets better, but it's not getting worse. It is not a negative thing. It is your body either purging or unveiling something you have stored deep down inside and you're finally healing it. It's representing itself so that you can once and for all like eliminate that or heal that. And it's like we were talking before, you know, my my psoriasis flares or this happens. Rather than freaking out and rushing for a cream or a band-aid or whatever, it's me being like, ooh, I need a little bit more attention on my gut right now, or hey, my acne is really bad. Hey, I need a little more attention on my liver, or another deep-rooted disease, or autoimmune, or whatever it is flares. You probably just need to be giving a little bit more cleansing love to that at that moment. And so the whole thing's getting worse before it gets better is literally a phase of your body finally being able to release it and you deciding whether or not you shove it back down or you work through it and heal it. So that is a big thing that I wish more people would take away from that, I guess. Yeah. And not normalizing things. You don't have to feel like shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:24

You shouldn't feel like shit. It's not normal to just be this quote unquote tired mom.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:28

Because like I said at the beginning, I'm not a tired mom. Am I tired some days? Yeah, I'm fucking tired some days. But I do a lot of things in a day. But I would not describe myself as someone who is perpetually tired. I'm not. I wake up and I feel rested and I'm like ready to fucking roll.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:44

And that is normal.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:45

I think that ripples into like I'm just thinking about all the kind of pillars of holistic health. And like when you add in movement, you'll be really sore. Your muscles are being damaged, but it's just new. And then that's how you take a step forward. The first week is always the worst. Um, I support my biggest thing is like supporting emotional healing and energetic kind of blocks. And I've had clients, ones even spoken on my podcast about it, of like being mad because they felt shittier or expected it to just be like, oh, I had a big cry, so now I'm awesome. Well, no, now you opened up a door, but we try, and I think this is where it doesn't matter what you're working on, is just remembering that like it's not always kicking the door down, too. And if you're if the things that we've talked about are all new to you, I love it. Yeah, which one landed with you? Which one got you excited and you felt in your body be like, ooh, like I remember hearing someone talk about caster packs and being like, what the fuck is a caster pack and tell me about it. And do I do them steady all the time? No, but like when I'm in it, when my body's like, mm, caster pack, I'm like, fuck yeah, let's do it. Um, and so I think it's just like remembering um if you're dealing with a lot, start with what feels good or what feels most important. Um, because our body also like I've been on my healing journey for like 10 years now. And sometimes it was physical, sometimes I needed to go emotional, sometimes it was really energetic, sometimes I was financial shit. I need like there's so many fucking layers.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:27

But also going back to like the the the label of like a healing journey, when does it end? It doesn't, and that's I think people think it's awareness.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:35

Yeah, no, I know Reno when I when I say healing journey, I literally go awareness. I know what you mean. Yeah, you have acting. Yeah and honoring that um different parts of me need love and attention. And you're actively working on it, and I'm actively working on it in parts, yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:55

And when people um come to me, I always kind of start things with like, welcome to your healing journey, like you're starting it. Because guess what? It's never ending, like it's not gonna stop. Yeah, and I know I know the feeling. I also get the feeling of like, God, when can I just like not do all of the things? Well, don't be doing all of the things don't. Guess what? Some days, some days all I get done is literally drinking my tea. Yeah. And I'm like, cool, done. That's what I did today. Yeah, like great. But I was conscious enough to not do a hundred things. That's part of it too.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:26

Yes, and awareness that um I well, I think permission that it doesn't have to be everything. And like I know I haven't been meditating, but I also know I still feel taken care of. Yeah, I haven't been ignoring myself, yeah. And that's where I think it becomes a lifestyle piece. So any dipping your toes in anything will take you in the right direction. Because it's it comes back to what fuels you energetically to what burns your light. Because I just did a podcast episode about finances. If finances is making you feel exhausted and heavy and not loving your life, that's a part. That's maybe like what for effort. Yes, like when you talk heaviness and detoxing, it literally ripples into life and where your energy is. And yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:20

I love that exactly. And yeah, I think that's a big thing that some people actually hear it a lot where people will be like, Well, I just did this and I worked on that, and that feels good now. And I'm like, good, okay. Yeah, in your mind and in your nervous system, you're like, check, I'm not giving my energy to that anymore. And then I hear that line of like, well, maybe it's too late to look into this. And I'm like, it's the timeline piece, yeah. Never too late. I feel okay, so here is a line, and maybe some people don't like to hear this, but too bad. Um a lot of people want their weight dealt with. They want to feel like themselves in the size that they would like to be, which I think is good for you. It's the biggest thing. I love that you yes, but I I feel like good for you for knowing what you would like to feel like. Yes. However, I why does it have to be a number? So I I do. I would say less than I thought, but like maybe like 80% of clientele will fill out my form, my questionnaire, and when it asks for their top concerns, weight is on there. Valid. That's fine. I also would like my weight to drop back down. Am I frustrated it's been a year and it's not less than what it currently is? Yeah, there's frustration there, but also at the same time, I'm like, okay, it's like just not ready yet. Like it is what it is. Yeah. But your body isn't going to prioritize that until the other portions have healed, which is frustrating. But I also feel like they're I I ask clients, okay, so let's just randomly pick a number. Maybe you don't have a number, but maybe it's what you have a vision of what you would look like or a certain thing you want to wear or a certain number, whatever it is that is your primo reality. What about your life is going to change when that happens? So now what? So now what? Like what's gonna happen now? Like for me, if I okay, what I want, I want to be able to go back to work and open my closet and just fucking pull something out and wear it. Fit your old. I don't actually care what this looks like as long as I have that feeling of like I can open. Now, could I just go buy new clothes? I could totally go and buy new clothes. But here's the problem, I fucking hate shopping. Yeah. I've certainly I selected those items because I don't want to do it later. Well, I maybe have to buy some things, yes. But that is the feeling I want. I want to, I don't actually care what the number is, I don't care what shape that comes in.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:54

Yes. It can't support you.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:56

We can get you that feeling in things. And then it's like, oh, but that number might not change anything. So if you and I'm not saying that it's not possible. I mean, if I have someone who's, you know, 30 years older than the number they want to be, you know, when they were 30 years younger and whatever, like, cool, we could get you to that number. Like, I could totally get them to that number. But is it gonna be healthy? Because healthy is a lot different than being thin. And I have people who come to me who are very thin and they're asking me to gain weight because their body can't, because they're so exhausted. So it's all relative, it's all about perspective. But my biggest thing that I ask have people ask them is to do the deeper work of like, okay, cool. So, like, if you never lost a single pound and your body didn't change for a whole year, but then you knew that after that year you would never have to worry about weight again, would you still do this journey? Or when people come to me and they're severely depleted and you know their numbers don't look great minerally. If I told you for two years you would have to live exactly as you are for two years and you'd have to put in this energy work and holistic work and everything, but then after that, it would be less of a problem for you to manage your weight or what it is, would you still do this journey? Because people come in and they want a timeline. They think that a 12-week protocol means that things are gonna be healed in 12 weeks. No, 12 weeks is building some foundation.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:21

I think it's too investing in you're going to notice changes. It might not be that end thing, but it's no different than walking through life because it might it might look different in the end, but the experiences and the joy and the feelings that you get along the way reaching those things are so huge.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:39

Yes, and like I love that. What are you racing to the end for?

SPEAKER_04 2:04:43

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:44

I have a a client right now who she came in and there'll be another thing. Oh, yeah, and that's the thing, right? And she did come in and she was like, Well, I'd love this blah blah. She goes, and obviously my weight, she goes, that's been a big struggle, but I'm ready to focus on me. My kids are moving out and whatever. And I'm like, good. And you can tell that she wants to leave that 90s mentality and she's trying to, whatever, and she's come to me being like, all right. So then she had gone on a holiday and she was like, okay, well, I'm not really sure how to navigate it. And I was like, don't fucking enjoy. You're on a fucking holiday. Like, who cares if you come back to like no, you're not gonna come back and like get off that boat or out of your vehicle and the neighbors be like, oh shit, she gained six pounds. Like, who gives a shit?

SPEAKER_04 2:05:22

But like obviously, it's not a big deal. Well, that might be a good place to start, too, is what you care about. Right? Like, why do we care? So my favorite, I've loved this so much in my postnatal training, it was like, um, I've also never been a summer body girl. I'm real grateful. I've always been like, go me, whatever, yeah, fucking go. And I'm still like that. I'll wear a fucking pad in my thong bikini and be like, check it out. I'm wearing a panty liner. You're welcome. Don't give a flying fuck. But if it's summer and you have a body, you have a summer body.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:00

Yes, crush it. I think I work out really hard to like wear baggy clothes and be like, ooh, cozy.

unknown 2:06:07

Take care.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:08

Like all those squats today just for what? I just so I can lift my kids.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:12

I just said to Ellen the other day, um, I'm like, I f I hate waistbands. They're they're just they're yuck. So I like have been wearing lots of dresses and lots of as my body's been like doing some detoxy shit too, they're just easier. Anyways, and I was like, you know what makes me mad is no matter where I'm at with my body, I'm wearing my bathing suit and there's not much to it, and I don't care because I'm so comfy in it. And I was like, how is it that I'm so comfy in my bathing suit? And then I like put on, like I feel so good, and then I put on my clothes, and they're my size. I'm not trying to squish into anything. Yeah, and I'm like, and I just feel blah. And Elle's like, well, look at your bikini though. It's like cut to fit up your waist and like it there shapes you. It shapes me. I'm like, fuck, that's why I also don't want to live here. I'm supposed to be in my bathing suit. Um, I love this chat. I'm really grateful for the conversation we got, and um, I see you and hear you and resonate. So thanks so much. Um yeah, I'm sure we'll get to chat again. Absolutely. And I'm around appreciate you. I'm around. Um, yeah, in the meantime, I think a great invitation to love yourself fiercely and so much that you trust yourself and trust that you will land softly. So thank you so much, Roxy. And I will post her link in the podcast right up. And yeah, until we meet again, peace and love.