Raising Each Other: A Mother-Daughter Sit Down

A super casual Q & A conversation with a young lady Miranda respects and adores.

This episode she is joined by her daughter, and her insight and perspective as a youth on challenges they face, how they could make and impact what she would change in the world.

They also speak to the journey they have shared in working to establish a close, real, vulnerable and emotional feminine relationship as mother and daughter.

Back and forth questions, reflection, emotion and growth as far as parenting, support, life lessons they have learnt, what has worked well for them (or could be different), challenges they have faced, what they value in each other and more.

A little mother daughter sit down with questions you may want to hold space for your own inner child, with your own mom, or to just reflect about your own feminine relationships.

Is their relationship perfect? Absolutely not. But they treasure it, hold space for each other always, and their communication and openness is what they strive for. The growth, vulnerability and learning curve is part of the beauty in the road of relationships.

Follow Miranda Lee:

https://www.facebook.com/miranda.wiese/

https://www.instagram.com/mirandaleepodcast

Follow her Studio Aligned Holistic Health & Wellness:

https://www.instagram.com/aligned.holistichealth/

https://www.facebook.com/AlignedHolisticHealthandWellness/

Check out her Heart Led Writing on Substack:

https://itsmirandalee.substack.com/

Transcript

Copy

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Brand Lee Podcast. A life fully lived embraces every season, the highs and the lows. Allowing ourselves to love fiercely, feel our feelings, and trust to land. This is a heartless space created for just that. Deep, vulnerable conversations, connections, learning to unlearn, become part of a beautiful community while growing and healing right alongside me. Because everything is easier with support and lived experiences shared with the right kind of people. Let's step off autopilot, get a little uncomfortable, take a breath, and dive right in. Welcome to the Miranda Lee Podcast. I am so incredibly excited to have my guest as always. I'm joined today by my amazing favorite young lady ever, my daughter, Mailee. Um, and this is kind of a retry because you've already been on the Miranda Lee Podcast. But when I had one mic and you were the first person I recorded with, and the sound was not good. So we're gonna revisit our questions and some other things, but welcome to my podcast. Hi, I'm so pumped. Are you or are you like, uh uh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

It caught me off guard that we were recording.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

So I've been telling you for a week that I wanted to record. Um today we were gonna chat a little bit about our relationship, feminine relationship. I have some questions for you about being a youth in the world today. And yeah, whatever kind of comes up. I was gonna ask, have you listened to my podcast?

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Nope. I've heard I've heard you listening to it on the main floor. Yeah, yeah. Or like just out and about or in the car. So I just like obsessing over yourself.

unknown 1:59

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Um, okay, let's dive right in. I am let's start with the questions that I have for you about being a kid. So, what do you think is the hardest part of being a kid today?

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Um, I think one of the hardest like challenges or yeah, just challenges is that um I have so much I want to do. And like I wanna get my career on the road, and I want to um help make the world different. I want to explore. Like the other day I told you I want to just go on an adventure. We went to the park. That was the adventure. I was like, oh, I really wanted to go somewhere different and like something out and about, but I can't. Where would you go? I don't know. I want to go like I want to travel. That's my thing. Yes, you can't. I'm too young to travel.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Well, you've been on pause from traveling for a handful of years, but uh I want to climb mountains, man.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Oh yeah. I want to climb mountains and I want to do all these things to breathtaking views in. Um, and there's also the part that, like, yeah, I want to get my career on the road, but like I can't do it without someone else or things like that, you know? Like, yeah. And then there's the fact that I want to make a change in the world and I want to share my opinions and things, but it's very hard to do when you're okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Let's dive into that. What is hard about trying to make a change in the world as a kid? Expand on that.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Um I don't have many places where I can actually share my opinion other than like at school or in just little gatherings. And then when I do, it's not so much of a like, oh, let's pursue this, let's like make this a bigger deal than it is. It's more of a like, oh, that's a good idea. And then it just kind of sits in the abyss.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Like youth ideas fall short.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

Like they don't have an avenue to like really be heard.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Yeah. During one of my, what's it called? One of my social study classes, we had to write a like letter to a politician or something. And I wrote, and my teacher said that I actually had like one of the best writings he's ever seen. And he gave me this cute little note about how good it was and how I should actually send it. And it was mainly talking about how like kids have so many ideas, kids are imaginative, and I don't think people understand that youth, especially, have so many good ideas. I think we're still considered these people who are like super not immature, yeah, immature. And don't get me wrong, there are kids that are very immature, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

But I think I would agree with you on that in the fact that like you guys have insight and you have a you have a different angle to yes, that's what I said in my writing.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

I was talking about how like how are we not allowed to help make decisions for schools, but we're the ones who go to school. Like, I get it, people have all people have gone to school or they've had some sort of schooling or teaching, but it's we're the it changes always. It's always changing. I know so many kids who dread going to school. There's so many ways you can change that if you would just listen to the kids who dread going.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Is it interesting you say that because we've had this conversation several times about just how I think it's so important that we're always asking about experiences and we do that in business and we do that in like customer service stuff, but I do. I think there's a lot of value and a lot of insight that could come. I would agree with you on that. Um, at the end of every school year, like how can how can things be changed? What are some good ideas?

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Um, yeah, I love that. I would agree with you on that for sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yeah, and I had a what was that big what was that idea I had? Oh, it was about how like you know when they have open mics, when like politicians have open mics around Canada or something?

SPEAKER_00 6:22

I think they should do like when they're campaigning kind of.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yeah, but let let's say they're actually in the like or they're like actually in a government meeting.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

So let's say they're actually part of the government, they actually have a seat and they have all these, I don't know what you would say it is, they're in power. I think Well, they have a seat in parliament. Yeah, or they have some sort of power over their country or whatever. I think that they should be going around Canada and doing like open mics for youth. I think they should have where like 13 to 18 you come and you speak about what you think or what you like ask them. And I know that it'd be hard to get some kids to be like open to that, but that's what we should be doing. I think it builds leadership.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Yes, I think it builds, yeah. I think voices, it's important to learn to use your voice too.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

And I can only imagine some of the things kids would have to say to Do you know of opportunities?

SPEAKER_00 7:25

There might even already be some created, but you might have to do some digging.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

I know that there's like clubs. Like the my school tried opening a what's it called? Like a debate team or something. Yeah. And I it didn't go well. But yeah, I just think there's I just think there's not many kids that would actually want to.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

It's interesting because things like that are so great in learning communication. Now debate can debate can be a little bit different, but even like active listening and being able to like say your opinion and hear somebody's opinion that differs without both parties taking it really personal, and just instead being able to be like, okay, you have an opinion about this, and then being allowed to hear it and maybe even consider it before just right away defending because debate is that, right? I love debates. I know you love debates.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

I love debates.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Um what's one thing you would change in the world today?

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Oh I don't know. Wait. This might be hard to explain, but like, um, well, first I'll start with my voting point. I think that kids should not kids, but youth, should have more access to voting and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Do you have interests in politics? Yes. Oh, you do? Yeah. I've never had this conversation with you. I feel like this is something that's really brewed up in the last little bit.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Yeah. I mean, I've been exposed to it, so I think I just kind of like I got annoyed at it of it at first and I was really confused by it.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

But it's important to take interest in it, though. If there's anything I could say to your generation, it would be, and mine, oh my god, is take interest because whether you agree with what's going on or not, it affects you. And it's really important to be able to see both sides, be able to take the emotion out of it as best you can, and then yeah, I think that's super important. Um, voting.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah, I think that um, like maybe the age of 15 or 16, I think that is when youth should be able to start voting or things like that. And I know that's not like a drastic change from the actual like the 18 uh age limit for voting. But um, again, they're the ones in school.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Do you think school age kids would take an interest in that?

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Depends on the kid. Like, I've the during my social studies class, sorry, that's like one of my classes I really enjoyed this year. Um, there was a group of kids that I was hanging out with, and we were always debating about stuff. We were debating on whether we liked this party more than this party. Or like, yeah, just stuff like that. And I know that there are kids that would take interest, but there's not many kids that are actually educated on it. There's and I understand that that's why they wouldn't do like you're not allowed to vote till then because you're not fully educated. But then there's kids who are raised in families like mine who have been open about speaking about politics with me and have shared their opinions, and I've been comfortable enough to either disagree or agree. And like the other day, me and dad were trying to think of a podcast to listen to. We were like, I really want to listen to a debate. And I put on my favorite one, you know which one. And then dad was like, No. I was like, Why? He was like, I don't like them.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

I was like, Wow. Okay. I think no, I think there was as a parent, we've had this conversation that it's fine to listen to debates, but let's make sure that we're listening to debates from more than one host. Yes. So that because let's be honest, um, one person goes in with a left or a right, which I hate the idea of left or right, but like find where you can listen and that your ideas are also being fought like do not.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Don't get me wrong, I do disagree with some of the things.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Well, and you're gonna agree and disagree with whatever lands with you, but it's important to have a balance of the two.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Yeah, yeah. And I've listened to other people too, and I like some of their points, but then I always end up going back.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Okay. Yeah. I love that. I think that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Yeah, and then oh wait, what was the question? Another one thing you would change in the world. Oh, well, I have two things. We'll go ahead. My other thing has something to do with the technology in this world. Now, don't get me wrong, I will say it, and you're gonna love me for saying this. Is this your opinion? Yes, you're gonna love me for saying this. Me. I love you anyways. Me and many youth are so sucked into our phones. And this summer I've tried to be more like, I wanna go paddleboarding, and I wanna go climb mountains, and I wanna go. We the other we went to EMBM Creek. That's fine. We went to the creek down by that school, yeah, yeah. And we just like climbed on rocks and I was with a bunch of kids, and I was like, this is fun, but I could be going on an actual like adventure. There's not many places to explore here at least, and I want to just like explore, and I think that the how are you making the world a better place?

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Or what would you change in the world?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

More places to no um sorry, yeah. Okay, um, so technology ruins it, man. There's so much technology everywhere. I could spot like probably 10 items in this room that use technology for sure. And everywhere you go, there is some way that your phone is a part of it. And I think that's also one of the reasons why I I I know people are gonna dislike me for saying this, but I love school. I love school so much, and I think that's one of the reasons. Yes, because kids are forced off their phones, and I know that's not like a force is a strong word, but they don't have that access. They blocked certain apps off of our Wi-Fi they know I love because kids were just like skipping class and then using those apps, and I I'm someone who loves interaction and I love socializing, and it's important, it's a huge piece of humanity and connection, and I think phones ruin that.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

I don't like calling people that though, this has been a conversation her and I have had all summer of like, okay, you know what would be quick? I hate phone calls too. I've told you this. I fucking hate phone calls. Um, just because I like face-to-face conversations, but phone calls are personal. So instead of if you need an answer now, you make a phone call instead of texting and waiting, or fuck, like you had to resort to Snapchat because nobody would text you.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Which loath as a parent, loath. But yeah, it's it's definitely interesting. I would agree with you. I would love, I don't know that you would love this, but I would love for there to just be well, no phones at school, but even just no apps.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

And like I honestly would love to one day. I don't, they would be a miracle.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

I would love for us to go back to square one where everything, I know that's not a like awesome thing to say, but I'm a nine I'm a friggin' 80s kid that grew up in the 90s, and yeah, we had the best childhood. It was the bomb.

unknown 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Yep, I would agree with you on that.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

I just want there to be, I mean, I use it all the time. I use technology all the time.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

But I think it's important, it's just um how much we let it control us, which is really huge.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

And I think it's very sad that we as a society, or many people believe that one day there's just gonna be technology in everything.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Or none. Or the grid blacks. Yeah, that's a whole other podcast.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Okay. Now let's hop to my question. Um, when I asked this question, I was 13. Oh my gosh, you've now unc. I'm so old. I'm 14. What's one thing you wish you could have told yourself at my age? Remember, I'm 14 now.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

I don't think my answer changes, though wow. What a growth for you. Um I think I would say yeah, you can change at any time. I am always so proud of you because you've allowed this. And so just because you're good at something doesn't mean that you need to always continue with it. And I I support adults who who struggle with this too. So I think it's really important to allow yourself to continue to grow or shift or change. You don't need to always show up and be what you were the season before or the year before. And like I think we get stuck with that sometimes where we feel like we're not allowed to change. But also when you're a kid, there's like identity. You're trying to figure out who you are, and so then sometimes, yeah, I think just remembering that you can change is so huge, and in that, that also relationships.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

I think a lot of youth need to hear about that, especially athletes, because I have well that's something you've worked through. Yes, I've been through so many sports, but I know so many kids who like when I was playing soccer, I know that when you do a big sport, you're expected to want to keep going and to keep moving forward and to try out for bigger teams and to do all these things. I was like, no, I don't want to. I just want to stay here. It's not something I really want to make a career or a big deal. I'm just doing this because I like the sport and I like hanging out with people. But then I know so many kids who have also been like have done the sports and have felt like they just need to get up, up, up, and then they burn out.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Well, I think our world is set up that way though, too, where it's like um, once you achieve something, next, next, next, and like bigger goals and bigger goals because that's what has been labeled as success. Yeah. However, I think it's really important that it's also okay if we just focus on enjoyment. Um, but it's important to some people, and certainly some people that they want next. But yeah, the changing thing for sure. There were many seasons I did sports just because it was something to do. I probably shouldn't have, but it was like, I'm the I'm an athlete, and so it's the next season, so I should be playing this.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

It's different if you can accept that you've made an accomplishment and that there is going to be more accomplishments, but you're willing to take that space in between that big deal to take that as a like, okay, let's settle down a little and let's recover. Because yeah, that's one of the reasons why I love school sports. It's because you have volleyball season and then you're relaxing throughout the rest of the year.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Well, it's commitment level too, right? Yeah. I think though, this is a really huge piece that even I've I've done an episode on this, but um it can feel like failure though, when you are good at something and then you're like, okay, I did really good at that, but it doesn't really fill my cup. And it feels more like a heavy commitment versus something I'm excited about. And it's like that in work too. Like I deal with that a lot as a kid. I deal a lot with that in my work, I mean, is I offer something and people really like it and it was fun, but then it doesn't feel like it's going to bring me what I'm looking for, and then I don't offer it. And I'm sure I let people down when I don't. It's the same with coaching. I loved coaching, but um, it took more than I had to give, and there were other things I wanted to work on, so yeah, it's just like sometimes it can feel like failure. But so you could change, that's a big thing. The other thing I would really tell myself at your age is, and we have these conversations all the time, but uh relationships, you're allowed to change, and relationships are going to change. Um, I always was looking for like a best friend and thought I'd have this like tight-knit group of friends like you see on movies and stuff. Just FYI, she has it written down as best friends. Best friend bullshit. Um well, it and it's just this. I wish I would have given myself permission that when friendships shifted or ended, that I didn't spin it so much as a reflection of myself in a negative way, but rather like, okay, I've changed, they've changed, like things have shifted in our lives. It's okay that we both move different directions and neither of us have to hold guilt or shame or big like because friendships, you've seen me go through friendship endings, they're hard and they get harder as an adult. So I think that um also in relationships like dating, marriage, it doesn't look like the movies, it takes a lot of fucking work. And a person, a person who is exactly like you is not really who you need to be with. You need to be with someone who bubbles up and triggers your own inner shit. And then you asked me the other day, um, how do you and dad not get bored of each other? And like I read this thing the other day and explained it so perfectly, but like, oh. We're not even the same people that we met when we first started dating. We've shifted and changed time after time after time. And I think being able to hold space for each other and meet these different versions of each other. Um, that I would tell my younger self look for a person that you can be who you are and be the next version of who you are, and be hard energy and soft energy, and you're still loved and held. So that was a really fucking long answer. Sorry. Okay, I'll flip the question to you now. Um, what do you feel you need from me most as a parent in this chapter of your life?

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Um, I think I need your openness for adventure. I know, sorry, adventure is my big thing. It is. That's okay. But like, um, and also I just yeah, I need I can't drive, mom.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Kate, what is your openness for adventure? I'm boring as fuck. I recognize this. Sometimes, yeah, that's okay. K you do your part and then I'll do mine. You do what what you need from me. Keep speaking to that, and then I'm gonna flip it.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

What I need from you is when I have something, when I'm set and ready to do something, I mean I'm ready to do something.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

And is this on your itinerary, or do I know about this?

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Um I'm not talking about one, I'm not talking about like a thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

No, no, no. I'm asking like when you say that, you know it comes up for me. It's when you're like, are we going? And I'm like, hey, chill the fuck out. Like, no, you can wait for me. What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 23:47

I mean like when you're set, I have random bursts of like commitment. Like, I I was telling uh uh I was telling your massage lady, yeah. Um I was telling her how my like commitment to going and just taking care of myself comes in waves. And it's like I will go to the gym for like a month, three times a week. Every week for a month, and the next month I'm like, no, no, like I'm tapped out. And I think oh, I'm I'm gonna actually change my answer. I'm gonna say first of all, there's nothing wrong with that. I love that. Sorry, I'm gonna say openness to adventure. I don't know how to elaborate on that. Okay, just openness to adventure.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

And then my I feel like for me, what comes up when you say that is being able to meet you with the ideas that you have.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Yes. Like when I'm when I'm can we go to Walmart?

SPEAKER_00 24:49

No, no, no, and then I'm like, I don't really want to go to Walmart right now, or what because if you asked me to go for a bike ride, I'd be like, yeah, let's go for a bike ride.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

I mean, like when I say, you know what, I want to work on my portfolio. Oh yeah. I'm not I like that's my random spurt of like, let's do it, let's do it, and that maybe will last for a weekend, and then it's gone. If we don't pursue that that weekend, it's gonna be another year until I so that and then there's also when you notice I need help with almost like a like if you notice that I'm not doing these habits anymore, like healthy habits, like you will notice that I'll stop going to the gym. If you see that, I need you to like let me know and be like, you're not you're not doing that. Remember when I said that to you guys this summer? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

And you were like, I just need a little boost. One example. Yeah. What is like what's another you do so good when keeping up with it?

SPEAKER_01 25:58

If I'm not hanging out with someone as much, I like to.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Maybe you need to check in.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

I feel like I do that.

unknown 26:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Okay. These aren't maybe things I'm not doing. These are just ways to do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

It's just things that I've noticed that I need like more of, or that I yeah. That I actually really appreciate.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

I will say to that that I have gotten in the way in the past of supporting you in things that you're chasing because of my own perfectionism or my own inner shit. And we've had that conversation. Like your portfolio. I'm like, ah, this is new, it's uncomfortable. I'm gonna procrastinate it because I don't know how to do it and I don't want to do it wrong. And yes, I think we've had that conversation. Um and I, yeah, I do I try my best when you want to, like in the summer, go to the beach or whatever. I oof I try my best.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

Yeah, and those some of those things I can do independent, but I think also when I say openness to adventure, I think I need that, I think I need you to be okay with me being open to adventure. You know? Like solo, you know? Oh, like doing it by yourself, like like that's part of it. But then there's also the fact that like sometimes I want you to be open to doing new things.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Yes, and I would say I definitely have closed off since my like physical stuff. Yes, but I I try to challenge myself to get uncomfortable with that a lot because I I'm always this has come up in my mind in the last year is like you have four years left of school. I know keeping like four years left, you have with your child at home being a student. Woo! But I don't want to cry about that right now, so it's so exciting, and yeah, it also is just like holy shit, the the season of parenting comes and goes so fast, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

But yeah, I think since when I say open to like me just doing things solo and like doing those adventures, is because I've shifted not only because of my age, but also because there's certain things I can't do with you, right? So those things I like do solo, and I need you to be open for me to just like do that.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Oh, and you're getting teary-eyed. This is a question that I was going to ask you. I don't know if I asked you it last time we tried to record this, but um what is the hard part of that of me having disability, having a parent who has disability? I know that's hard. I asked your brother this question in our recording and he broke down too, but um I think it's just something good to speak about because people don't know unless you live in it. And especially as a parent who I envisioned my motherhood as being like playing volleyball with you, going for runs, playing soccer, like me coaching soccer was me trying to not get in my way as a woman with disability to still do the things that I know I'd be good at. But yeah, do you want to speak to that? I know that's hard.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Um, yeah. I think, well, when I was younger, or actually not that long ago, probably a year or so, I used to be so embarrassed of you. And I'm sorry, but I used to be so embarrassed. Um but now I use it as like a not sorry, it sounds like I'm using you, but now I use it as like a like yeah, my mom's unique, she's different. Um and yeah, I don't I think the same thing kind of for me, like I wish there was stuff I could do with you.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

But what would you do if tomorrow I could do whatever the fuck I wanted? I could run.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Travel! I want to travel. Oh, I can travel. Yeah, but then there's certain things that you can't do when traveling. So this is like when I say I want to climb mountains, I would love to do that with grandpa and you and dad.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Yeah, so I was gonna say in this chapter of my life, I don't need to climb a mountain to be really happy and content. And I've had to work really hard to get to a place where um I when I say your dad and I have talked about this on my podcast, but when I say go adventure, like when we were in Bali, I told dad, like, go, and he was like, Oh, it's not the same without you, but like I'm real good. So there's a I know that it's nice when we can do it together, but go live your fucking life and live it for me and come back and show me the pictures. And yeah, there might be a moment where I'm like, bah, I wish I could do that, but I'm also I've found real joy and contentment in just being able to enjoy where I am. But yes, I know.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

And I'm grateful partially for like you having your disability because I know if it wasn't for that, you wouldn't have discovered so many things. I guarantee we wouldn't be dieted the way we are, not dieted, but we wouldn't have like eating clean. Yes, I don't think we would have discovered that or really cared about it if we didn't have this health stuff show up. And um I didn't think, yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Things like that. I asked your brother, does that does my holistic pieces of life annoy you? Yes. What's does any of it make you feel good and you see value in and something you you're likely gonna carry on with?

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Like like the way you like the way we're taught to take care of ourselves? Yeah. Certain aspects, yes. The food, yes. Um energetically, will you go for Reiki? Um, Reiki, yeah. I'll go for this stuff, but like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

You love restorative yoga. I like restorative yoga. You like sound healing, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 32:39

I don't think I have the I'm too ADHD for that.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

You um I will say that remembering I had the same conversation with your brother, but like I think I'm really excited and you can take it or you leave it, because it doesn't matter to me how you live your life. These are things that were important to me and were trying to shift me. And um, it's not uncommon for someone to be raised a certain way and then go another way, but I know there will be parts and pieces. So, like when you talk about gratitude a lot, or when you talk about like manifesting or emotional connection and stuff like that, those are things.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

It doesn't just have to be taking your herbs and having to eat and I think a lot of the health and like mental health and the health care and physical and all those things, I will definitely carry on. Um, but a lot of the like you journal. I journal, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Like those those are the practices that are like the rest is just discovery. Then you can dig into whatever finds interesting. Get out of here. Awesome. All right, I have another question for you. What lessons or things have you learned from watching my journey? And remembering that this is like my first time as an adult, my first time as a mom and a wife and a business owner. I would love to hear from any angle or perspective what lessons are things you've learned from watching me. What are your takeaways?

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Um, I have learned a lot about how just like things that happen to me now, like friendships and relationships and things like that, they don't really get better.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

How you're still gonna face them.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Yeah, you're still gonna have challenges. It's just like I don't know, maturity level doesn't yeah, it's just the maturity level that changes.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

How like how you handle them? Yeah, because you do, you really do come across communication issues and friendship stuff, and life is ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows. So yeah, I think what you're saying is it doesn't just get easy when you're an adult and everything's a-okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

And then let's dive into the relationship piece of that. What have you seen in my journey that will be a takeaway for you?

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Um that'll be a takeaway for me.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Yeah, like any of my friendship stuff you've witnessed, or any of Dad and I's marriage stuff.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Um that people will use you.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

Oh yeah, there will be some people where you have to learn boundaries for sure.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

And um friendships will come and go. Relationships will come and go, people will come and go. People in my life still come and go. I get random messages from people every week saying, Hey, how you doing?

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Oh, like from past relationships, yeah. And that's just I think how it is. You're always and sometimes they rekindle too. Yes, but they look different.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah. Um yeah, we're human. It always ha it happens. Yeah, we're shifting growing. Life changes, yeah. Um and that in relationships you have to find a person that you can that you could have arguments with, but at the end of the day, you can look past it.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

It's been an interesting summer. I've found it interesting as dad and I have had conversations. You've sat there and no, it's been awesome. I think it's really important because to see dad and I have a conversation, that's appropriate for you to be around. But and it's been interesting for you to like be like, no, I get what dad's saying, or I get what you're saying. And I know it's annoying sometimes. No, I think whenever you go, no, I I know what dad's trying to say, and then I'm like, bah, then I feel teamed up on, and then I'm like, you're not. It's your daughter just saying she understands your dad's perspective, and and vice versa. Um yeah, it's been cool to have those conversations that you just kind of sit in on and you pipe up a little bit here and there, but I think it's important. What's um what's like a thing or two from our relationship, from dad and I's relationship that you will require a communication piece?

SPEAKER_01 37:42

You guys have good communication. Yeah. And yeah, I don't know. Communication. I guess another thing too would be um playing the cards you're dealt. You you did a good you do a good job of that. Like you were played your card of having a disability and I mean you were dealt a card. And then um you've just used that and you've made it what you can. You've made the best of it. And yeah, you do a pretty good job of that. So does dad. And I think that that's something that I've learned is to just play the cards you're dealt. I love that. Okie dokie. Um, I'm gonna ask you a question. Uh, what was the hardest chapter or age or year for parenting? Whoa. Parenting.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

What was the hardest chapter, age or year for parenting? Yeah. Um everyone. I'm just kidding. Yeah, when I was born into this earth. I'm just kidding. Um, I would say every chapter, I always say this, but every chapter has something different. Yep, something exciting and something challenging. And you couldn't pay me to go back to when you were little, but it was awesome in the time. No, I don't want to have babies again. That's like I'm over that. But those chapters were so awesome and so cute, and yeah, they had challenges, and now I have very different exciting things and challenges. I love this, isn't really answering your question, but I love how we can just hang out and sit in lawn chairs and have the visit. Yeah, I really value that piece that we can just all coexist. The challenging part for me as a parent now is navigating like technology and making sure that there's a balance of like you doing what you want to do, but then also teaching you like responsibility and you do a good job of that. Um it's honestly hard to raise someone who has maturity because I want to let you have more range because I do trust you, but then I do also feel that restriction piece for you. Um a really hard part of parenting is my childhood stuff bubbles up, and things that you have to face that I faced when I was younger are challenging, like your relationships or friendship stuff, or dealing with a challenging adult in your life. Those things are hard for me, and those things then sometimes bubble up for me. Um, I would say a big piece with you that's been challenging in the most positive way is that you're not easy to parent, which is amazing. I'm not trying to raise kids that just follow the rules and put their head down and follow along, ask questions, challenge things in a respectful way. Um, for me, I've really had to learn when you ask a question that's very valid, or you challenge me on something that is a very great point for me to instead of just getting to defense and being like, no, as you feel like you should as a parent, sometimes stepping back and being like, mmm, why is that my answer? Why do I feel this way? Um, so that for sure, you're very vocal, you stand up for yourself, but also teaching you that like sometimes my answer is my answer because it's my fucking answer, and I don't need to give you an explanation all the time. Um, I don't know. Parenting has been really rewarding and fulfilling for me. So you as a parent very much grow and do a lot of your own healing as a parent. So okay, my question for you is what do you think is special or different about our relationship? Um our relationship's super important to me that we have a feminine relationship with open communication. What do you have to say about that? What's special or different about it for you?

SPEAKER_01 42:17

I think the like you said before, how I don't just put my head down when I'm told something or when yeah I kind of disobey and I challenge and I question. Give you a hard time sometimes. Um and I don't know my yeah. Um I don't know many kids that actually do that or that are comfortable enough to do that. I've had situations where one of my friends would be in trouble and their solution was just let their parent pretty much just like tell them that they did this wrong and then they just like the alternatives of conversation to talk something through. Yeah. Um and um and we're I think we're good at having uncomfortable conversation.

SPEAKER_00 43:19

Nothing's off the table.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

Well, there is some stuff. Sorry, but like there's nothing that if I had to talk to you about something, if I gunpoint, I'm at gunpoint and I have to talk to you about this, it's like whatever, I'm not getting shot.

SPEAKER_00 43:37

I try my best to meet you, like so nothing is off the table. Now, in saying that, I also have a lot of gratitude for some of your older friends who you can go and ask questions to because um I typically feel like they give you good advice, and I always value and appreciate that you do circle back and you and I eventually talk. about it so it's not like it's unspoken it's just sometimes you can't go to your mom which is I coach people and help youth too so I'm grateful that I get to be that for other kids too.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

So yeah uncomfortable conversations even like just even it doesn't even have to be like an uncomfortable situation. It could just I mean sorry it could even be a uncomfortable situation where it's like I've had many feelings where I don't want to switch sports or I'm like oh I'm like I don't really feel like vibing with this sport anymore but I also don't want to leave you know those hard choices or conversations that I could talk to with my friends but I know they would just be like they would just try and be supportive and be like oh but you should stay that's like your thing oh yeah you are very honest and you're very like this would be better for you and like do things that will make your heart happy so there's nothing worse than doing things forced right like and then you're just watching the calendar days go by counting down.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

That was how gymnastics works I was gonna say you did that even though I told you and I did this too with piano it was like I played piano even though I didn't want to and mom and dad said you don't have to but I don't know I felt like I was letting someone down and I know you did gymnastics an extra year or two I think for the same reason really um no I think it was more because I I really loved the sport. It was the commitment hey yeah it was the yeah it was the commitment and I was my skill level was different from other people like I said they were trying to push these kids higher and higher and higher I didn't want to be pushed I just wanted to go until I was have fun yeah yeah yeah I think commitment's been a thing for you though forever too you've done a really beautiful job of finding balance yeah and making sure you got some time to be bored some time to have with friends some downtime I'm pretty good at balance you are really good at balance and you are exceptionally good at putting your self-care routine yeah to the point where you get annoyed about well no like right after this I'm about to go take an everything shower it's for me it's just making sure that you allow flexibility and don't get caught up in controlling what every day looks like with routine because control is is a piece that we certainly have talked about too okay we're back question sorry um if you ever have a daughter if I ever have a daughter what are things from our relationship that you hope to have and what are things you would do different she just made a cringe face but too bad.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

What are your like what are the things you would take and what is something you would change uh uh moments like like I said the uncomfortable conversations you I want to keep those yes I want to there's certain things that I want to be like that you do as well like what like how you I know that I can speak to you about certain things but you don't like force me to talk about it you know yay oh that makes me so proud okay I love that yeah so like I know you're always there for me but you don't make it like you don't try to push yourself for me to you don't push the door open you let me open the door oh that bars I love that yeah tell me more pop my tires a little bit no but actually um what else do I like about you?

SPEAKER_00 48:09

Nothing get out of it um um it was a really special moment I think I might have shared this already but that day that we sat outside and I was like ah there's things that I felt like I should have taught you that you figured out on your own and I felt guilty as a mum and then you were like remember and then I just broke down crying and you were like you taught me things like Yeah you've you've taught me things and honestly there's certain things that I'm happy that I just figured out on my own. Yes I know and there were for me they were things I thought were important like how to shave your legs and how to put your makeup on and like they're really whatever but like some of the answers you gave me were really made me just be like oh I feel like I'm winning as a mom. I'm so proud of the things that I've got to teach you because of the cards that I've been dealt I think yes.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

And I think that's also part of the like you just let me come to you you know like if I had a question on how to do something I would probably like if I wanted to ask you I would and I don't feel super uncomfortable asking it um but there's also things that I've just figured out by myself and those things are things that I'm like that would have gone different if I asked mom.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

Not in a bad way but it would have been like yeah um what's something about me that annoys you everything.

SPEAKER_01 49:42

Stop um it annoys me that there's certain things that you're not as interested in as me. Oh yeah like self-care you like self-care we have different ideas of self-care I'm someone who will do face masks once a week you're someone who will do a smudge every week so you are 14.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

I am 20 and whenever you bring this up and I know this is something that like I need to lean into and do more often with you because they're important to you but like I did all those things and I know you can't believe it but like all the like routines for getting ready and your like nighttime routine I did all that shit and I had all the products and I did all the things I just I don't know I stole your products I don't have a single fuck to give about that stuff now and it just doesn't the aesthetic piece and the spa stuff um totally it's it there's some people my age that love it. I could give a fuck I would rather go sit and watch a sunset.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

Sometimes sometimes I slightly wish you were a bit more bougie.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

Yes sorry there is not an ounce of bougie in this okay it's okay it's okay we're I feel like I I had this conversation with your brother too we're often giving given children who have different interests you're super interested in music and drama and like I don't have experience with that so many interests but I love you do have lots of hobbies and interests and I love it. I'm all over the place. That's awesome do you want to know something that I'm gonna ask myself a question. Uh oh okay what's something really important to you that you're trying to teach your daughter okay what is something that's really important to you that uh wait what's yeah what's something really important to you that you want to teach your daughter oh what's something super important to you that you want to teach your daughter I love that you just asked me it after I asked it okay the reason I bring this up is because we have this conversation lots and there are things I've had to work through numero one is control um letting letting things play out sometimes and organization wise not needing to like have everything perfect and this and that and you share a room with your brother and that's like something already learned how to live with a man and so giving them space and letting the room letting them have some input I'm not saying it's easy I'm not saying it's not annoying as fuck but letting go of things are out of your control and just letting there be a little bit of room to breathe because the house is never going to be perfect. And that that's one thing you and I have had a conversation on you'll be like why are you getting so worked up about this and then I'll and then the next day I will be the one that's worked up about it. But I will say you'll under I don't know how many times I've said to you we'll have this conversation when you say on when you're older we'll have this conversation when you're older when you are trying to tend to a home and ask for some help and you care about a couple things that are important to you and people just keep dismissing it. Yeah those are things for sure. The other is communication which I see you I'm pro at much more like your dad. Yeah but I think you've also had to learn compassion because your brother and I are wired a little bit different and I see I think that it's really important I think this is why I like that you join our conversations sometimes with dad and I because you often have a mindset or approach a little bit more like dad. And so then you get to see what it's like to hold space and be able to work through conversation with someone who might not be wired the exact same. One thing I love this is not the question but one thing that I freaking love is about having a daughter though is we're a balanced house. We have two we have a man and a boy and a woman and a girl and I think it's really cool that we can support each other sometimes and call the boys out on their bullshit and it's been interesting to also watch there's been times I have to like stop your dad and call him out when he'll react to Braxton one way and react to you another way and I'm like excuse me just because she's a girl and she's getting mad you're like holy calm down but when Braxton blows up starts slamming his damn door and I love that we can always just look at each other and not have to say a fucking word and be like mm-hmm I know exactly what you're thinking yeah okay I love that about you I love having a mini bestie it's pretty fab.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Yeah okay I like to ask you no you wanted to about your quote oh okay um what is what is a quote that you live by um oh gosh listen for the whisper so your body doesn't have to scream at you and my big one my biggest one this year that got me to having this podcast done is better than perfect get out of your own way let perfection take the sideline done is better than perfect or first make it exist then make it better yeah those are mine you um okay what's your favorite quote okay one of my favorites right now is from the Bible okay it's two chronicles chapter 15 verse seven it is it says but as for you be strong and do not give up for your work will be rewarded and then I have another one from the Bible it is Matthew chapter seven verses one to two it says do not judge or you too will be judged for in the same way you judge others you will be judged I love that um and then I have the one from my one of my favorite movies Fault it says if you're too scared to die don't be scared to live I know so mysterious you're so deep I know just joking spee man and yeah those are my quotes I love that I always end my episodes with three questions. Ah yes first question is what would you say to your younger self um what'd I say to my younger self don't don't don't wish negative things she used to oh my goodness don't wish no like um I don't know yeah I'm gonna change it and I'm gonna say enjoy the age you are oh my goodness I am the age I'm officially the age I always wished I was why 14 because high school and boys yeah yeah you wanted to be so we talked about this on our first episode but the piece of being in elementary school being stuck with these are the people you're allowed to be friends with because they're the people that are in your school you gotta spend all day with them or sorry in your class and because um I knew I was a mature kid but I I wasn't um at the age to do things that teenagers do I guess which is just like bike around and hang out with a big group of people I didn't have a big group of people and for some reason I associated having a big friend group with being a teenager.

SPEAKER_00 57:55

And so now I don't know I think there's just more like it is that it's you're now going to a different school you now get to draw friends from a much bigger circle. You also get to kind of pick let's be honest people that you connect with that you match with versus these are the kids in your grade these are the kids you get to connect so random that's a really freeing piece of going to high school for sure it's so random I have so many different friends I connected with like six people this summer out of the blue we all just started hanging out and we all have a group chat together and it's just in a good place together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:34

And then it might shift when you go back to school too you never and I have like and I'm comfortable with that. Yeah I love that um and I've always been good many older friends I have grade 11 friends.

SPEAKER_00 58:45

Yeah I was the same. I think that's important too even at 40 I have friends that are much older than me I have friends that are much younger than me. I think there's a lot of value in that because you get to learn from each other too I learn from my younger friends I learn from my older friends.

SPEAKER_01 59:00

I would say that you've always been good to at um riding change and being able to flip like when you switch schools and I think that shows that I'm also mature because I have the maturity to hang out with these older kids but I also have the maturity to hang out with Braxton's friends. I went to the park with Braxton's friends the other day and hung out with them.

SPEAKER_00 59:23

I love that because I you know how I feel about that with schools I think kids of all ages should hang out together. You shouldn't be segregated to hang out with certain age groups because you all have something to learn from each other. Okay my second question is what does the world need most love and music love and music okay and what are three words you're moving forward with into this next chapter of life three words yeah um I'm going to say kindness I've really been trying to work on just being more kind and being more wholesome being kind yeah for sure that's something I think being who you are saying what you mean I want to be a ball of sunshine I am a ball of sunshine but you know I love that I just want to like walk past people and throw balls of sunshine at them genuine balls of sunshine and then that's another so your words are kindness sunshine yes kindness sunshine and comfortability I love that yeah I want to be comfortable in just the state I am always because I had a I had a time this year where I was like comfortable but I knew something was gonna happen oh there's where we let go of control too right what's the difference between comf comfort holy comfortability comfortability is that a word nope but just roll with it comfortability and contentment what's contentment contentment is like being at peace with um where you're at I think comfortability is like being comfortable in your own skin and your own state I think it's less of worrying about the other people or the other things that are in your life but also being comfortable in who you are and who you're becoming past present future.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

And I know you and I know that you always hope that everyone can find that because we're all our best version winning content is more of a present thing rather than a past present future I love that guys oh I have another quote okay okay um no podcast is over no I just kidding okay oh it's from this movie it's all over social media right now it's like it says quit don't quit and he says noodles don't noodles and then he says um you are too concerned with what was and what will be and then there's a saying tomorrow is wait no yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift that is why it's called a present I love that isn't it cute it's awesome I think it's from the oh it's from uh kung fu panda oh yeah I want to thank you for listening those of you that are listening in I want to thank you all of you for all thousands of you millions millions thank you for coming on and sharing your well redoing this with me and it's very different than our original recording.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:56

Yeah it's because I'm 14 now yeah um I appreciate you I thank you for challenging me I thank you for being my daughter and growing with me and yeah all the things I'm really grateful for you in our relationship so you're welcome I hope we can like record together in 10 years and see what the fuck that looks like. Oh yeah uh timer all right um as always to all the listeners thank you for joining feel free to give a review or share it with someone that you think could really benefit from hearing what we had to say maybe have this chat with your own child or daughter or granddaughter um and yeah I just invite you to love so fiercely trust yourself to learn softly and until we meet again peace and love.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:44

Bye babes