How much does life really cost in 2026, and why are we always broke?

What does it actually cost to just pay our bills in 2026? Why does earning six figures no longer feel rich to so many families. How the heck are we all affording daycare, let alone getting ahead?

And also, how much money are your friends actually making? 

In this episode of Double Booked, we're having the money conversation everyone is thinking about but few people are having openly.  We talk about how much your housing should cost, and how much everyone is making. 

Subscribe to Double Booked Official Podcast for honest conversations about career, motherhood, money, beauty and wellness, and living your best life. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Double Booked Podcast Official today, where you can hear us on all your favorite podcast listening stations like Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and the list goes on. So welcome back. I guess the big question is, Michael Ann, what's happening today?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Oh my gosh. I have so much to talk about. I'm really excited about it. But I do want to just give a little bit of a moment to anybody listening or watching us today that this is like hardcore, legitimately double booked. Right now, Nicole, where are you? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Just in case you're curious about my background and why there's a vent above my head. I literally am standing in my laundry room because I have no chairs, no furniture in my house. And we have the show must go on. So here we are, you know, just landed from a flight and came home to an inspection, final inspection, and I'm in my laundry room. So just, you know, we do what we gotta do.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Great. Well, already in the last seven days, the movers came, packed all your crap up, loaded it into your truck, moved it out of Tampa, crossed state lines, you hightail it on an airplane to meet them in Atlanta, where they arrive and pull in, and then they unload, they moved you to a different state while you were just kind of delicately bobbing and weaving, and then take a flight back and then go to Chicago for a work conference, and then come back to Tampa. And now you're closing on the sale of your house in Tampa. Just a pack of drifters, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

So I mean, and that is like the macro level of everything going on for sure. So the funny thing was that all started on Saturday. Today, you know, fast forward a few days. But I will tell you, Sunday night, I was trying to fly out. All of a sudden, I get out of my driveway, pull into the airport, and it's like, oh, 20 minutes delayed. And I was like, okay, I can take 20 minutes. Mind you, this is already a full day of packing in the 100-degree heat. I'm exhausted, and I'm already getting in at like 11 o'clock at night, which is late for me, and having to drive, you know, 30 minutes, all the things. So they push back 30 minutes. I'm like, okay, midnight, I can still handle it. Well, then I go through security. Mind you, I had the craziest drunk lady in front of me, which was very entertaining. And I get, you know, get through security after all the drama. And it's like, oh, it's late, two hours. Then it goes, like, then it says three hours. And I was like, I can't do this. So I ended up booking a flight for I got the last seat on the Monday morning flight at 645. I went, I was like, oh, I really want the 515 a.m. flight so I can get there. Thank God I didn't because I get to the airport Monday and the 515 had been canceled. Oh no. Oh my God, that would have been terrible. So I did on the 645, I land in Atlanta, drive to the house. The movers literally, literally pulled in behind me and off we went.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Oh my God. You know what? This feels like a great time to talk about budget.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Oh my gosh. It is like my life's mission because all I'm doing is throwing money out the window right now to solve my problems. And I hate to say it like that, but it's like I will hire anybody right now to take care of things because I just can't, I can't do it all.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

This is such a high stress time for you. Like my my heart goes out to you. I I would don't want to insert myself to be an even more of a problem. But if you do need anything, whether it just be a minute to yourself that you want to come here and hide at my house, I can ignore you, not talk to you. You can float around the pool. I don't care if you just need a Xanax. I don't have one, but I'll find it for you.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

This is what I tell the kids. I'm like, you can sleep when you're dead. So I'm just gonna keep going. And the second that I hit my blob of an air mattress tonight, I'll be done. And that's it. I have two more sleeps on an air mattress. Otherwise, I'm in a hotel all weekend. So I should hopefully have a little downtime.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Well, if you guys need to crash here, we have a guest room, we've got room for everybody. Bring the dogs. We do not care. We've got extra bags. Crash.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

It's been one of the coolest parts about all of this, is just it's really nice to have friends that are like here, do this, or we'll do this, or we'll take this out of your hands, or we'll take Chloe out of your hands, or whatever else, right? Like it has been very, very nice and humbling. Like, I'm not one that loves to ask for help. Um, so those that have come and like swooped in, it has been, you know, doesn't go unnoticed and much appreciated.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Yeah. Oh, I'm happy to do a big, a good slumber party at our house because okay, I don't think I'm gonna talk to my husband ever again. I think he should pack his crap and get out. You are not gonna believe this story. I cannot wait. Speechless. I'm speechless. Okay. So he's been traveling a lot for work the last couple of days. Like he was at on a golf trip over the weekend for a conference, and then he flew back home for one night and he had to fly back out. I think to Atlanta actually. And so he got back late yesterday. You know, his dot kit's still sitting on the bathroom sink or whatever. And so this morning I'm getting ready and I need tweezers. Like I've got this one Erant uh eyebrow here. I gotta pluck it, right? And he has the good tweezers. Those are his good tweezers, and he keeps them in his stop kit. So I go into his stop kit to get the tweezers, and what do I find?

unknown 5:38

What?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Nicole, I found my frickin' travel toothbrush. Oh my god. He took and used my already used, already has been used a few times, travel toothbrush. It is pink, it has its own case where it like you know, it protects itself and he took it. Why? He couldn't find his.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

So you just take the closest one next to you instead of going to the store?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Oh, then you should go buy yourself a really nice one.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yeah, well, he should go. I said, Look, you are ordering me a replacement toothbrush right now, and it better beat your butt home from work today.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

I can't even so disgusting. I will listen, I will admit, I've borrowed a toothbrush for my. Oh my god. Uh out of pure necessity for sure. But the travel one, I don't know. Because those are usually like a little bit smaller. You're you, you know, I don't know. I don't I wouldn't make it the norm.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

I'm that thing will never go. We might as well use it to clean the toilet at this point. And not never never using it again.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

I mean, is he gonna use it again?

SPEAKER_00 7:05

That's a good question. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Is it just gonna stay in his travel bag or not?

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Maybe, maybe that's how he solves his problem. But I was like, you've got to be kidding me. That's disgusting. Disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Wow. Well, this is actually a great reminder for me because I ran out of travel size toothpaste today. So I'm gonna have to order.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

You can order, you could use toothpaste, just that toothbrush.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

No, but like you know, when you get to the end and it's gone and you're like in the middle of a hotel and you're like, shit, I either have to go down and like beg them for one of their freebies or find the little one to buy.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Because the big one they'll take out of my suitcase.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yeah, for sure. So today's episode is about budgeting, though. And this is gonna come as a surprise to absolutely nobody. But one of the things that I love to do, if I'm stressed out, if it is high anxiety, if you're overwhelmed with the amount of work things that you actually need to do to be productive, I like to pause all of that and work on my budgets for my home. I am the equivalent of like the grandfather that would sit in the den and be like working on his figures, his figures, always figuring. That's me. Yeah, paint me. That's me. I love it. I love to do it. I have so much fun with it. I'm so excited. So I have been waiting for this episode.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

And I'm really proud of you. And I really you probably should charge a fee and do mine because I am the last person to budget. I hate it. I just, you know, I just go with the flow. And then when I think probably done too much, then I slow down a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

No, I love it. I really get such joy out of budgeting. Although I will say I get violently angry when I see people that I love, I won't mention any names, who are just making really terrible financial decisions so confidently. You know, just it really, really bugs me. Not you, not you. But I I'm not, I don't have a sophisticated system. I literally use post-it notes every month. So for Linux call it 60 days, I'll have a post-it note for each two-week period because I pay my bills in two-week periods, as most people are paid, right? You're paid twice a month. So we have our bills that are due between the first and the 15th, and we have our bills that are due between the 15th and the 30th. And I have it for the next 60 days, and I write it, and then I update it each month, and then I have fun with figuring. So I I've tried different computer systems software programs, spreadsheets, notepads. I've tried it all. This is what I like to do.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Why don't you develop in your in your grand old AI days over there? Develop a system with whatever chat or quad.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Because I like the system.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Okay. I was just thinking, like, from a time standpoint, although I know it is soothing for you. This is a hobby. I know.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

Like, I know if you were like, I love to read, I wouldn't be like, but what if you could use chat GPT to download the knowledge to your brain? That's totally reading part.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Totally fair, totally fair comments.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

So I feel like I'm pretty good at budgeting because I grew up with nothing, and now we have some things, right? We're okay. We're on a good path for retirement and college savings. All right, we're not, we don't have FU money, but we're okay. So I feel like I've done a few things right. I've done a few things wrong, which I'm gonna talk about. But one of the things that I didn't want it to make this all about me. So I I talked to a lot of our friends, mutual friends, my friends, that are kind of in our same category. And I said, What do you want to know about budgeting? What would you like a show? If you're listening to a podcast, what would you want to get out of it? And I got some pretty consistent comments. And the thoughts that I have, give me the first one. The thoughts that you have, I'm sure. The question we have is, how the F are all these people affording all these things? All the things, all these things, especially houses, houses, sports, the cars.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

I mean, my car is about just about a few months from being paid off. And I'm like, I couldn't even imagine going to spend money on the car, right? I'm gonna be in the market for a house again, and I'm like, oh my god, right? It's these are massive purchases for people, and people are spending money on it as if they've won the lottery 10 times over again.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Right, right. I would love to tell you that in my research, because I did do a bit of a deep dive, I would love to tell you what I sort of incorrectly assumed. My assumption was that other people were over-leveraged, right? Like they were willing to be more leveraged, a little bit more in hockey I was comfortable doing. I have another friend I asked her, and she was like, everybody has a trust fund. They're all trust fund babies. I'm like, statistically speaking, there can't be that many trust funds, right? Yeah. Well, here is a little bit of a shocker that's going to probably make you annoyed. At least it made me annoyed. I did some research. I limited the initial research to Tampa because that is where we live, right? And I asked Google, chat, Claude, deep dive onto some census data about what are the top five professions in Tampa. And then if you are 10 years into that profession with a college degree, what are you making? First of all, I gotta call my boss I need a raise. Okay, top five professions: an anesthesiologist or surgeon, a lawyer, okay, a construction executive or engineer executive at a large firm, and financial services or wealth advisory, and certified nurse anesthetists. Those are the top careers in Tampa, Florida. On average, interesting, these people, with the exception of an engineer, are making between five to six hundred and eighty thousand dollars a year at the 10-year mark in Tampa, Florida. This is according to the research that I did. Don't come for me if it's wrong. We're just chit-chatting. Okay. So they're making a lot of money. But I also read an article yesterday that said that the average price of a starter home in the Tampa MSA is one million dollars.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yes, starter home, your first house. Is that nuts? That is bananas. Agreed. But don't worry, that does not necessarily transcend to other markets. I did equal amounts of research on Atlanta, Georgia, Detroit, Michigan, and Phoenix, Arizona to kind of compare things. And those cities are much more realistic. Across the board, average, this the careers were generally the same, slightly reordered, but healthcare, executive within a mid-sized company, financial wealth services, and real estate construction. Those are across the board. And there were uh, I think Phoenix and Atlanta had high tech tech people.

unknown 14:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

But their incomes were a lot more realistic, except for the surgeons and nurse and anesthesiologists. Surgeons and anesthesiologists are generally making between five to six hundred eighty thousand dollars in any market across the country. So it's too late. We picked the wrong career.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

But yeah, I mean, although they've got a lot more from an insurance standpoint.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Oh, insurance, high risk, stress at a different level than we're experiencing. Yes, student loans. Absolutely. But generally speaking, other than that, you're getting into about the $175,000 to $450,000 range of salaries. And again, that is college degree at the 10-year mark within a single career. So that's about the average.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Okay. I think that's great. I think that's a great like baseline. So my question for you like, let's use those as the baseline. What is a good percentage of what your home pro like your mortgage is coming in? So should you be sitting at X percent of your salary for your mortgage? How are you determining? Okay, so what are some of the metrics you're using?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

I'm so glad you asked. So then I started researching how to do a budget, right? Like, how do you do a budget at all these different levels? And yes, it is based on a percentage. There is some manner of debate on whether you base it on your gross or net. You know, if you factor in taxes and put in a retirement tax advantage savings account strategy, I think that's a lot of drama. Start with the net, but other people disagree. And I used everything from Dave Ramsey, which you talked about briefly in one of our episodes, because he really has a very specific philosophy on savings and payments, but also use NerdWallet, Wallet Hub, and other just general research. And almost unilaterally, 25% of your take home pay is about what you should be paying in housing. Now, that is your mortgage, taxes, insurance, and utilities. So all those things lumped together, you should be at about that 25% mark. I benched that across mine, and that's about appropriate. Okay. So I don't know how all these people are spending $15,000 a month on their gigantic mortgage, but you should be at around 25% of your take-home pay should go towards housing.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Okay. So then do you have other breakdowns of uh first?

SPEAKER_00 17:07

I have shocking, shocking news. You're so beyond the million dollars startup. No. I, as I was researching these breakdowns, again, Dave Ramsey, NerdWallet, Wallet Hub, Chet, Claude, any other resource I could find of how what percentages to break down. You know what? None of them have not one. And I would guess it is probably, if not the highest bucket of most people's percentages, it's up there. Childcare. Oh, nobody was separately. No. Now, if you wanted to, maybe you could say, well, they were lumping that into some other category. For us, for me, in my history, it never reached an amount equal to what childcare actually costs. Even going back, so our kids are, I have three kids and they're all in private school. So I understand that that is not a decision everybody needs to make, does make, you know, we pay a premium. But I take it back to even all of our kids went to Primrose as their daycare when we needed full-time childcare coverage. And even taking it back to the Primrose days, it never reached the bucket size that could be accounted for in another category. So it's like right off the bat, you're publishing something that looks like a feasible budget for people to accomplish.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Right, when there's so many layers to what's probably not in there or it's hidden other places that you're not aware of.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Exactly. And so I will tell you my child care category, again, three kids in public school. In this category, I put their public their tuition, their private school tuition, all of their sports fees, including their privates and extras, the nanny, aftercare at school. So really anytime my children are really occupied that I have to pay for that occupation, I lumped it all into one category, but it accounts for 35% of my monthly take-home pay. Holy crap. Yeah. 10% higher than my entire housing budget.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Well, I said you before, I feel as if you have if you have more than one kid in sports, you almost have to be a gazillionaire in order to afford it. So, right, then you throw in all the other things that you mentioned, and it is like, holy smokes, like I so I guess it also begs the question how much is necessary. Like, because I I believe in competitive sports, I believe that or in recreational sports and being part of a team, and I believe in all of that, but I mean, at some point, a lot of these people can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Right. Does it become pay-for-play? Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

That's eye-opening for sure.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Yeah. Yeah. Other categories beyond that were 10% food. So dining out, groceries, that sort of thing. That's about the percentage that you should look at. Transportation between around 2 to 5%. So that your car payments, gas payments, car insurance, which feels also like a little bit tight. Like that doesn't seem that seems tough to try, but two to five percent. Generally speaking, other than Dave Ramsey, you should be putting about 14% of your monthly take home towards some sort of saving, investing, retirement, college, 529, blah, blah, blah. Dave Ramsey is a little bit higher in his expectations. But I will put all of this into the show notes. But those were the general rules on percentages. That really leaves you with about 5% for everything else. So photops, peptide injections.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Yeah, like fun. Where's fun mixed in?

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Yeah. Well, fun, you gotta put fun in the extra. Isn't this fun? Budgeting is fun.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Oh my gosh. I do, I do understand the process that you go through and how it can be rewarding for sure. Um, I think where I start to shut down is I'm like, well, I need more money. Like that's yeah, it's it never is adding up to what I really wanted to add up to. And I think then it's I self-reflect, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I could be doing so, we could be doing so much better. We should do this. And listen, we do very well. And I'm like, well, where the hell is it all going? Like, so now going back through the receipts and going back through a credit card to understand like what we're spending money on. Because I'll be honest with you, like, I it's it's been it's been very tight for a little bit. So my husband's going back to work and I am putting us now. We have a completely different budget than we did. We're in a completely different place because we've made some maps, obviously, selling. It's a massive change. Cars paid off, you know, things like that, where you now start to generate some additional revenue that can be put into hopefully savings and other things.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Yeah. One thing that I am not I'm much better at it now than I was five, six or more years ago. And I feel like we're we are cut from the same cloth in this way. And I do want to give credit to one of our collar mentors, which I'm sure you'll know exactly who I'm talking about. And I'll I'll say your name when we get there. But you know, I was raised under the premise that you you go to work, you bring home a salary, and you use that salary to pay your bills, right? And that's and then you just do that and you try to save a little bit for retirement, and then you retire, and that's life. But I never learned lessons about building wealth and creating wealth or creating passive income or how to grow it. And I will say I also followed Dave Ramsey for a good number of years. I really enjoy his programming. I enjoy everything that he has to say, but I do think that his philosophy has an income limit. And I think once you exceed that income limit, which hopefully you do, hopefully you're getting there, hopefully that's the plan. It doesn't really apply appropriately because I don't I think if you wait until you pay off your mortgage, your 30-year mortgage early, let's say you do it in 15 years, you've lost the opportunity for 15 years during potentially prime earning abilities to invest that money into something that exceeds the interest level you're paying on your mortgage. And so things like that, I don't feel are appropriate. He's not very pro everybody's secondary education college, which I get. I love the trades. I I love the trades. There is a shortage, it can't be replaced by AI. All of those things are true, but I also do think it takes a particular type of personality to truly exceed at being an entrepreneur in the trades, right? Like you don't want to go into the trades and remain a wage worker, making, you know, stuff for the rest of your life. That's not the goal. So I think you got to factor in that person, whether that person really is entrepreneurial. So I think I missed some years where I could have made some more money and been a little bit further ahead in overall net worth.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

I I agree. I think what's crazy is right, I'm in my, I think it was my early 40s when I when I really started to take a look and hear the word building wealth, generational wealth. And it's it wasn't just because we had kids. It was, I mean, that's obviously a factor for long term, but it was like, oh shit, like there's mailbox money and all these things we'll talk about in and other episodes as well. But it's wow, there's other ways to do this at the same time that I'm already working. And I think about all of the money that I made in my 20s when real estate was having its heyday, and what I should have been doing then if I would have had a little bit better of an educational from an educational standpoint. What I found interesting, and I don't know if you saw the article about the governor signing in that you'll get a discount on something with having this financial class in school. And I'm like, why have we not had a financial class in school all these years? Like at home ec was maybe sort of that, right? You could write learn to write a check, but or my kids don't need to learn how to write checks anymore. Nobody writes checks, nobody writes checks. So now building wealth and teaching how to do your finances and understanding money and risks and all of those, I think and insurance was a whole nother part of it. Is I mean, and I just went through this with our son, like teaching him how to call and figure out insurance and what you need and all of that. Like it's a process. Like I don't disagree. There should be additional classes for this in school.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Yeah. What about? I mean, all the years that I wasted all that money at Charlotte Roos buying fast-fashioned shirts, I could, I mean, I had no obligations. I was renting an apartment with a roommate. I had no mortgage, I had no cars, I had no kids, I didn't have to worry about college. Retirement was 40 years away. If I would have started, like, I have an e-trade account that is like gambling to me. Like it's just fun money. Like, like if I would have started that 20 years ago, I mean, we could be retired together, Nicole.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

No deal. I and actually I laugh because you know, Dillard's has this sale in the summertime and they're getting rid of all their summer shoes. Uh, you know, I think it's in July sometime. And I'll never forget. Like, I think I walked out of Dillard's with 12 new pairs of shoes, and I'm thinking now, like, why the hell did I do that? Like, who did I think I are? Why did I need like 12 different colors of wedge and heel and flat and like no one cares?

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Where are they, Nicole? Are they hopefully in a dust bag somewhere just waiting with your beanie babies?

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Oh no, funny enough, I still have the beanie babies. I do not have the shoes. They're not worth anything.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Oh, but I didn't credit where credit is due. I meant to. I apologize. But so a few years ago, we have this mentor, Beth Azor, Azore Advisory Services, general guru of all things. She's in real estate and she got a feather in her capera, a bug in her saddle to get women investing in commercial real estate. And that has been the mantra that she has preached. And I remember sitting in a room with her when she was talking, and she, because it felt unattainable to us, even though we work in that industry. It felt like unless you have seven figures to invest, nobody is taking your call. And she was at the time, she was building a gas station, a national gas station. And she said, literally, I have five investors that gave me $5,000 each, and I put them in my deal. And it was such an eye-opener to me that anybody would consider that. I'm like, I've got $5,000. And since then, I have been sprinkling money every year into these real estate investments. I'm lucky enough that my company affords that opportunity. But I've done others that are other random connections through bath or connections through a connection of a connection of a connection. And now that I'm having so much fun, I just sprinkle little money. I have never invested seven figures in a single deal. I still don't have seven figures to invest in a deal.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

So for listeners, my gland has been sprinkling. I am not in that position at the moment. And we talk about this pretty regularly, where it is a goal of mine, and it is in the next 12 months. So we'll keep you updated on our progress and kind of where we're at. But she is right. Like it's intimidating to hear the words investing in real estate when it's not something that you're familiar with, like buying and selling a house. And it's it just take a deep breath, do a little bit of research, and you know, it's is it 5,000? Is it 10,000? And every they always say just get started. So I'm in the just get started phase. So you can join in on our journey as we just get started together. And my Glenn will show us the ropes and we'll continue conversations like these so that um as women we can continue to invest in, you know, in real estate and other things.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Yep. All right, back to budgeting, which was the core of our conversation. Do you budget immediately, like right off the top, for things like charity and philanthropy?

SPEAKER_01 29:53

That's a good question. I do not um I do not just take it off the top. However, as opportunities arise throughout the year, there's certain ones that I know are coming down, you know, that'll be happening. Well, I take that back. So I probably do put like a small bucket, but I'm okay exceeding that in most cases.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Yeah. Yeah. I have some charities that I like to, you know, give a little bit of money to every year. So I kind of think about that. But I know that the tax laws are changing for next year where we're gonna get more of a write-off, like more of a direct credit for charitable contributions. And so to me, I'm like, I'm gonna budget more. Like I literally think if like I would love to pay anybody my money before I would pay the IRS, right? So if you give me a bigger budget that it's a tax deduction, I will give more to charities. And isn't that great? Isn't that how it should be?

SPEAKER_01 30:49

So IRS is I think that's awesome. And I look forward to doing that.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Yeah, but I don't I don't budget right off the top. I don't I do think that when I look at my monthly budget now, it's like makes me want to not like throw up. Like it's it just feels like you should be able to live on a lower amount than that. Like, why can't we earn the money that we earn now, but live like we did even five years ago with that budget? Why? What happened?

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Oh, I I literally we say this every day like every month we sort of reset mentally, right? Like, I think once I wipe out all the money, I'm like, what did we do? And then we go back to the room and we're like, all right. So this exercise that I'm going through right now, as I'm canceling out everything here and opening new accounts in Georgia, really making a conscious effort of writing everything. I took everything down in my notes so I can say, okay, like electric is estimated at this. Yeah, what else did I do? They gave us what our internet was. Am I in? I'm working on car insurance right now. I did renter's insurance already. Like, I'm really making a conscious effort that I have it in front of me and making sure me and Mike are looking at it regularly and that we're not going frivolous. Like, I'm really trying to become a little bit more minimalistic. It's hard, right? Because I do need to, I need all the things, I need to look good, I need to have Botox every once in a while. I need to get my hair done. Getting your hair done is so expensive. And you know, there's other luxuries that I do like to have, and I don't know that I'm so willing to sacrifice just yet on some of those, but maybe I can cut back a pinch.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Yeah. Do you okay? So, how do you guys handle your budgeting as a family, as a couple?

SPEAKER_01 32:43

So, really, I say this is what we spend and this is what you should not spend. And now that we're looking at it together during this whole process, it actually he's been a lot more involved. And I do love that because I hate that everything falls on me right now. And I that's been a big gripe in our marriage. It's like I cannot be the keeper of all things because if something happens to me tomorrow, you're gonna be lost. You won't even know where to go. So let's make this something that we're doing together, and then we can hold each other accountable in a much more civilized way versus me having aggression on you know a $500 golf club that I see pop up on my Amex. So I think I I think communication in the budgeting and communication in the spending aspect, if you're going to be spending over a certain amount, I do think that having open lines of communication is extremely important.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Do you is one of you a saver and one of you a spender? No, no, okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

We we both tend to spend more than we should.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Okay. I mean that one of you are very well.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

I spend for everyone, he spends on himself.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Yeah, yeah, that's another good way to put it. We I am the saver and Jason's the spender. I mean, we're not, you know, there are years when it was tighter that it was like we were at each other's throats for every extra dollar spent for sure. Maybe because we're in a little safer, like we've I've saved enough that I feel I feel a little bit safer. Like I probably have money issues about, you know what I mean? It's just a thing. But he has no idea. He has no involvement, he has no idea. And like I get it. Like I have four degrees in finance and accounting. I love it. I just said I budget for fun. So I get it that I'm the better person to be doing this. But sometimes it gets like, you know, I've mapped out a plan of how to save for college and how to save for retirement, how much to allocate to those things, but what if I'm wrong? Right. It would kind of be something else.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

I yeah, I always say like I just don't love having the full responsibility. Because what if I, yeah, what if I'm wrong? What if it didn't happen? I will say for those that are are listening, like, you know, Mike Lance's talking about different situations. Both of our situations are very different. So my husband was a stay-at-home dad for five, six years. He just started working a little bit here and there to kind of get his feet wet. And now he's gonna be hopefully be starting a new career path after we move. So we had to cut back, right? Like we were, we did not have the second income that we had had leading up to you know six or seven years ago. So it's been a lot tighter of a time frame, it's been a lot more strenuous, and you know, some months have been check-to-check, and it's it's humiliating because I feel like I worked so hard all the time. And then you look at your bank account, you're like, Jesus, what happened here? So the budgeting thing is a real thing, it's a real thing I struggle with, and it is we're starting like I feel the curve turning for us in so many ways. And I'm I'm you know, I think that's why we're doing it together now because we both know we need it.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Yeah, yeah. And I I will say I have a couple other comments that several people said to us that's exactly relevant, but I want to just keep it real for everybody and not to put you on the hot seat. But during that time, Mike being a stay-at-home dad was so beneficial because you were really you were traveling and going and you had to be able to drop up a hat, and you still had more than one child at home needing all this coordination and transportation, and it really was helpful to your family, and I don't want to discount that. But were there ever times where one of you felt resentful?

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Oh, 1000%, 1000%, and we've had like very heated arguments on this moments of not speaking, and yes, probably said some things I shouldn't have for sure. But what we what I can probably say that we took away from it all is we've definitely learned a lot about each other and you know, when to poke the bear and when not to poke the bear. And it's you know, what are you gonna give up to give what you want? Right. Like I was not the one that was able to stay at home and you know be with the children. Do I want that now? Maybe not right this second, but I told him I'd like you to elevate and over time, you know, let's have an amazing retirement after we've, you know, put in the next 15, 20 years. And so that's where I want to see the benefit come in, is you know, down the road when I'm ready to take a break.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

Yeah, and I I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you were just made the president, so there is no downshift in your future.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

No, no, no downshifting yet, right? Like I do feel like I'm still in the in the peak of of this all and still have many more years and room to grow. But I do want to know that at the end of this, you know, it's not just my hard work that has is supporting all of us. I want his hard work to support, you know, when I'm ready to take that break.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

Yeah, for sure. And I I just in turn want to keep it real on our side too. Like I again feel like I have a good marriage. I really like my husband, other than the toothbrush situation. And I would say that in the 17 years we've been together, we have never, not one time, had a successful conversation about money. Like it just never has happened.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

It's it is this is what I tell this is how I explain it at work, right? When we have teams that are doing deals together and none of them want to talk about commissions, I said, you're like a married couple. If you can talk about it and figure it out and be comfortable talking about money, I do feel that you're gonna have a lot more success together in what you're going to accomplish towards your goal, right? I agree, money is the hardest thing to talk about and it's not fun. It never, it does not always seem to end in a very favorable way, but you're talking about it, right? Like you've, I think you do not to be your therapist today, because I don't have all the answers for that. But I do think continuing in my personal opinion, in what we're experiencing, the more we're talking about it, and while we may be like poking at each other in a sarcastic way, there's some truths that each of us take out of the situations.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Yeah, absolutely. And it's, I mean, it's just it is an emotional thing. Money is emotional, like home buying is you should make it transactional. I get it, but you don't, and there are emotions tied to it. And, you know, we're in a, I think, in a groove now where we just don't talk about it and I just do it, and he just doesn't spend, you know, and every once in a while something will flare up about you know, that comes between it. So we should, that it would be the better way to do it is to talk about it, but we don't. So the other thing that consistently came up in my diligent research of all of our peers were that everybody feels a level of pressure trying to keep up with the Joneses, budget-wise. Like we just we feel this pressure. You really shouldn't. Yeah. Like, like I have I love my house. I have a beautiful home. I've spent a lot of time decorating it and making it my own and make it represent my feelings and my taste and style. And it's perfectly big enough to the point where I, you know, my kids disappear in their rooms and I don't see them for days. And, you know, it's a beautiful home. And yet I will absolutely go to a friend's house that's maybe brand new construction, or they've got these coffered ceilings, and you get home envy, and you're like, well, why don't I have you know seven bedrooms and 4,500 square feet? Or why don't I have this particular thing of whatever?

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Yeah, or why is it how is this person affording their 17th vacation for the year with all of their children? Like, I can't figure out some of these things.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Look, I already admitted my in-laws paid for the trip. I don't know what to tell you, Nicole.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Yeah, it is it is a lot of pressure. It does feel like a lot of pressure. Try if you can, just take a minute and look at what you have that is so wonderful, something that you have, whether it's more of financial safety, more of financial comfort, like you don't need the big house. Or if you're really just feeling the pressure, then maybe just try on a lower scale. Like you don't have to remodel your entire house, but maybe go to HomeGoods or Ross and pick yourself up a whole vignette of you know, knickk-knacks for a shelf or something like that. Try to narrow it down. But don't blow your entire budget just trying to keep up with the jones. We all feel that pressure at every level. We are all feeling that same pressure to keep up with the Joneses and and it's it's their their lives are not better. Sometimes the grass is greeter because it's fertilized with bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Yes. Amen. Quote unquote. I like that one. Um no, I totally agree. It's I I think as I've gotten older, I'm kind of like just don't care anymore. And I'm really happy for those that can have the things that they really want. I have what I want. Like I am lucky, I'm able to afford a house, I have a great car, I have a great family, I'm able to buy, you know, jeans when I need jeans and sandals when I need sandals, and I can get my hair done and all those things. So that's like I said, I'd like to be a minimalist at some point, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Yeah. Yeah. I am not, I'm not. And I, yeah, it's hard. Like I do, I did not come from money. We did not have, we had a black and white 13-inch TV, and I'm not that old. This wasn't the 50s. Like, we didn't have any everything that we have now, we've earned.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

So I have to tell you this story that happened. You mentioned trust funds. Okay. Oh my god, this was so good. So Mike had a group of friends prior to our marriage, and I knew a lot of them from middle school and high school and such. So, like, I was acquainted. And they were just not I did not have a lot in common with them. They're very nice people. I just didn't have a lot in common. So we'd go out with them every so often. When I go out, I'm going to dress. I don't necessarily look like this, like running around like a mad person. I'll get dressed nice, I'll have my makeup, all the things, right? I'll pull myself together. So we've gone out a few times, gone out a few times. So finally we're at a restaurant and bar, and this couple pulls me aside. And we're talking, and they're like, Oh, well, you can afford it. You're a trust fund baby. And I said, What? They're like, Yeah, you get all your money from daddy. And I was like, What? Excuse me? And they're like, Yeah, your parents give you money. And I was like, I literally said, Go fuck yourself. You're wrong. I said, I work for every last penny that I have, and I never want to speak to you again. So I left and I haven't talked to a woman since. Now, funny enough, they did it to another. Friend of ours who he also has you know done you know well for himself and now the two of us joke. We're like, oh let's get the helicopter because we can. What are the trust buttons, babies? Like now it's a joke, but man, at the time, and again, this was probably eight or nine years ago. I was pissed.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Yeah. Well, because you outgrind almost everybody I know, almost every across the board. You are a blinder, so that feels like a major slight, but my question to you is so I did like don't nobody kill me, literally, because we don't have a will.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

And I know either.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

Oh my god. Okay, so we finally I've got a girl. If you want this girl, she's amazing. Well, this woman, she we did like a 30-minute call. She's very reasonable and affordable. She's put it all into a trust and then the house, and then labored the house upon a spell. Send her over to me. I see it.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

I uh oh my gosh, this has been such like a thing.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Yeah, we've got it. She said it's like a kit that she puts together, but she is a real attorney. She works for the same large law firm that we do all of our real estate through. She's legit. The questionnaire is weird because you have to think about things you wouldn't think about. Like, for instance, I will give you a for instance. Let's say you die before Mike. Is he allowed to fully control all the rest of the money? Of course. Your thoughts are, of course, I love my husband, the kids will be gone. Like, he can have the money. What if he gets remarried and then he dies? Does she get your money? Okay, tough questions. Or what if, and you do have to have an answer to this, what if every single person all dies on the same day? Like, what if you are all on a plane, you all die? What happens to your money then? But anyway, the point of my story was so we are putting it into a trust for just for the sake of how like if you're gonna do a will, you might as well just put it all in a trust. So, and then my children are the beneficiaries. But if it's zero, if the lump sum is zero, are they still trust fund babies? Oh god. We do our wealth advisor asks us all the time, like, okay, like you know, that you gotta go through like how long you plan to live, how long you plan to work, but then also like how much do you plan to leave for the children? Zero. My plan is zero. Like, if I if there's something left, you can have it, but I'm not planning for it. It's my money. I'm gonna house you, I'm gonna clothe you, I'm gonna put you through school, I'm gonna feel it.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

No, but your mail, your mailbox money, they can have your mailbox money.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

Yeah, if that's still if I have any mailbox money at that time, it's yours. I'm not planning for it.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Oh my gosh, that's great.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

Well, let's see. I covered a lot of hot takes today. Is there anything?

SPEAKER_01 47:00

I mean, all kinds of important things. I mean, we're gonna get flat for all sorts of stuff, but I think I mean the budget conversations, money is hard to talk about. I think we need to continue to bring it to the forefront. I look forward to future wealth conversations and investing. I think we have a lot to continue to unfold and educate. Like I do feel if you know, to have a platform where yes, it's a great outlet for us. I do feel as we continue to educate other women and men and and and such, hopefully everybody's taking small tidbits and implementing them and finding benefit to our conversations.

SPEAKER_00 47:39

Agreed. And I will I will put all the percentages that I researched that I found in the show notes so you guys can refer to it then if you missed it, if you didn't, if you wanted to make sure that you have it and you were driving. The only other thing I will add is that when it comes to budget, I don't care how you do it or where you do it, but write it down. Actually, write it.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

Yeah, you're what? You're 10 times more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

Yeah, you can't do things like budget and wealth planning and these sorts of things on feelings. No, you gotta, you gotta write it down. So awesome. I'm so excited. Favorite, favorite episode. They're all my favorite episode. But thank you guys so much for joining us. A double booked podcast official, official podcast, double booked official podcast. I'm Mike Land. This is Nicole. Check us out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or watch us on YouTube. Woo woo. Woo!