The Secret isn't balance...it's your Village

Join us today with special guest Jessica Pearce, wife of World Series MVP, Steven Pearce and Katie Mersinger, wife of AnyDesk President, JD Mersinger. These ladies know all the secrets to taking care of business and raising kids while their partner is away.  

And even better, they know how to be a village for their friends. From carpools to happy hours to decorating, they teach us how to bring it all together.  

We cover sports pick ups, leaf blowing, and just being there for your friends in today's episode and we'll all walk away better for it.  

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome, everybody, to the next episode of Double Booked Official Podcast. I am Mike Land and I'm joined here with my partner, Nicole. And today we are so excited about our special guests. We are joined by Katie Mersinger, a business execution consultant for Wells Fargo, mom of three, that this year are actually going to be at three different schools with three different drop-off times. And she is also the lovely wife of JD Mersinger, and he is the president of Anydesk, an international software company. And that's going to be really important to our topic. We also have Jessica Pierce. Jessica, I have heard you described as the entire village that every mom friend needs in her life. You are a master packer and a master mover and a master handler of all things. You are the wife of Steven Pierce, MVP of the World Series in Major League Baseball, who obviously has been traded a number of times and has traveled all over, including on the day you gave birth to your first child. He was traded to a whole new team and uprooted all your lives. So if you haven't guessed, today's episode is going to be all about how moms are just managing the house. You've got kids in every different direction. You've got to get dinner. You've got to feed these people. You've got to take care of yourself. And how are you doing that when your partner is not only on, you know, a quick once-a-year conference trip, but regularly gone for long stretches of time? And we want to talk all about all of those systems and any tips and tricks that you have. But as usual, first I want to whine about something.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Wait, wait.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Do you ever go on Instagram? And I feel like I get sucked into this algorithm where I'll like, they'll post, like, oh, check out what I wore in Europe for 12 days or whatever. And I'll click and I'll like an outfit that they wore. And then I get sucked in. So like every other post is somebody else that has outfits they want me to buy. But then you comment link or shop. They send you the link to their shop my and it is not what they were wearing in their post. Like it's like the closest Amazon alternative. And it's like, that's no, no, no. I literally wanted the dress you have on your body. How can I find it?

SPEAKER_00 2:27

This literally happened to me this weekend. I was trying to, or whatever it was, like when the Amazon sales were going on, of course, it was exploding all over. And I was like, click, not there. But here's this. And so I bought one of the like look-alike things and it came. And I'm like, bum, bum, bum. Like it just was not what well, and first and second off, I didn't look like the person in the picture, which geez, I don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

I know. I have to tell myself, do I like the outfit or do I like the model's body in the outfit?

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yes. Yeah. Demazon's very hit or miss. Yes. And they definitely get you on like the marketing of their page of like the look. Like click here, and you're like, oh, I like everything. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

And then you're like, but that's not what you're wearing. I didn't want the teamu version. Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

So I'll have to report back because I did it again this morning. I was looking for something for fourth of July this week. And I was like, God, I really like those shorts. And it did have the matching, like what the person was wearing. But I'm like, this is a style of short that it's like an athletic style short. And I was like, I don't know. Like, do I have that kind of a build? Is it gonna look okay? And then like with more of a slender tank, which I usually wear a little more flowy because I'm not like close to the body type person. But we'll see. I mean, I will share a picture later, you know, later in the week. And you know, you guys can tell me if it looks good or not. I, you know, do not get offended easily.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Yeah, let us know. I gotta figure out you're very good about theme, holiday themed outfits for your entire family. So is Jess. Yeah, Jess does it for everything, every occasion. She's so I really have good intentions to do it, and then something happens. Or you know, and now it's harder to convince the boys to wear true something that their mom picked out. You're like, uh, that's not even dry fit.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

I'm like, just just send me what I need, send me the links, and I'll order.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Yeah, just send me the links and tell me what I need, just send me the links. Send me the links too, but make sure they're actually the links to the things I want to do. Um, yeah, I mean, um I try to do it.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

I feel like you're really good with our friends. Yeah, you if I find something good, I definitely will I she shares.

unknown 4:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Oh, good. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Well, okay, well, we'll just send you my telephone number. I'm happy to take any suggestions.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Yeah. And she's really good at decorating. Like, we've had to have her like get we've had well, our beach park women's club, it got flooded, and we said, You have three thousand dollars to decorate a whole clubhouse, and she like did it, and everything looks fabulous. Like, she's just really good at finding stuff out there, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:06

There's good stuff out there, well and nice things, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Yeah, okay. I love she's our go-to. If I'm like, hey, I need a table, you know, like the table that we did not have. Michael Anwin came in the other night, and she was like, Here you go, order this one. I'm like, Okay, done.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Done. Okay, so you just your daughter is going into eighth and your son's going to third or the other way?

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Yes. Daughter eighth.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Okay, perfect. Okay, I have a son going into eighth and a daughter going into third. Okay. Uh and then one in the middle as well. So this weekend I was at Katie's house, and first I got a tour of her new house, which is gorgeous, and I love it. And it was I was obsessed. And her artwork, which I want to talk about that in a second. But also, so she has a daughter at the same age as my son, and they went to daycare together. And I am not, I'm not putting them on blast, but Katie's daughter is gorgeous, like I know, and kind and sweet and friendly, and will engage with you know, new people or people that are shy, or just really kind of draws them out and engages them. And I absolutely loved seeing her talk to my son and his response and sort of watching these mental processes as they reach this age. So fun, it's cute. We'll see what happens. But it was it was really great. And okay, so Katie, well, first of all, Katie is the host, the host of any event. She plans it, she's got every detail thought of, and she's so incredibly creative. And I think sometimes I know I forget that, but she had these beautiful frames of pictures where the pictures didn't fit her new style in the new house, right? So, do you throw them out? Do you get all no, no, no? She literally repainted the canvas of like you would have thought, like, I literally walked in her house and I was like, Where did you get that art? Like, I would like to commission that. She's like, Oh no, no, no, I did that.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

So you're artistic too? Is this like an outlet for you?

SPEAKER_01 7:16

They're very easy paintings, abstract painting. So let's not go to, you know, but they had they were really expensive frames, and I was gifted them years ago, and it went with our old house. And I think when we started doing my living room at the old house before we moved, we're like, we need to change these or get rid of them. And my husband's like, just get rid of them. And I'm like, No, I love the frames. Like, that's it, will make it will make a really nice painting. So I don't even know how much these paintings are, but I popped them out of the can. I popped the canvas out. She gave me that idea, painted over. She's done it at her house, yeah, popped them back in, painted it, popped them back in, and they look amazing. And you can use like your house paint, like paint that you already have. Yes. So brilliant. Yeah, she uses her house, like her house wall color, and we'll do things. Yeah. We just did that drywall. You just said the other day, or like or a couple months ago when we went, she's like, You need something on this wall. We have you should do, was it drywall texture?

SPEAKER_03 8:14

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

And so then we did like the squares with drywall, and like did a really cool piece with that. And that's in my other living room. So she gave me the idea, and then I was like, Why have these beautiful you know, frames? We're gonna do it. And they look fabulous. And now, guess what? I'm thinking of one of them already over there, and I'm like, I'm gonna redo that one. So, yes, I saved a lot of money there.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

Yeah, so thrifty.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

It's like I need you in my life, I need more of you. I need more of these great ideas. I mean, you this is amazing, like so simple and so like yeah, why why didn't I think of that ever, ever?

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah, and like you can like go thrifting, and if you find a nice frame that you like, it's a cheap canvas, but you could just paint over it and make it beautiful. Have you ever seen it? I know.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Okay. All right, so let's talk about the topic a little bit. Ladies, if you could set us up on kind of how often is your partner traveling, how long is the period, so that we just kind of understand what you are managing to. You want me to go first?

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Okay. So when JD's out of town, it's not like in state. Like he right now he's in London for over a week. Sometimes he's in Hong Kong, sometimes he's in Brazil, like he's everywhere. So when he goes, it's usually like two weeks to make it worth the trip because it's long. Like he'll go to like fly through Dubai to get to Georgia, the country, not the state. So it's a lot. And so when he's gone, it's really important for me just to first of all, like we moved here, didn't have anyone that we knew. So it's not like we have family around. We do now, but it's really important to meet people and build your tribe, build your village, and really have that support. So I would say, you know, we have a system down when he's gone because you need to. So a lot of preparing. I prepare majority on like Sunday nights or every night I kind of prepare, like I'll make the lunch the night before. Um, I'm also working and we have to be in the office downtown three days a week. So I used to have a lot of help. I used to have like an after school, like high school girl come or guy or manny and just do the driving and homework and after school. Now we don't have that. So it's just me. So I try to do as much as I can when JD's home, like pick up other kids or like shuffle other kids around with my kids. So then when JD's gone, I can fully rely on the help of my friends and neighbors. So Jess used to live across the street from me. So that was really helpful. Like, I'd be like, Can you go walk my dog? Can you let my dog out? Or she'd be like, Let me pick up the kids, I'll drop them off at your house, and I would do the morning shift. So just like the logistics of just having that easy support, that friendship. And I'm from North Dakota and like Minnesota, and my girlfriends come from Minnesota all the time, and they're like, You have the best support. Like, we live too far away, we can't do that. But in South Tampa, it's just like so close together where it's easy for someone just to go pick and like drop. So I would say just having that logistics done of like your support of like, hey, JD's out of town for the next two weeks. Here's what I need help with. And kind of, you know, getting that organized. I'd say we do a lot of crockpot meals. I do a lot of happy hours with my friends. So not happy hours, it's like dinner time happy hours. So because we all work, right? With the kids. With kids. So I'm like, hey, yeah, but like bring the kids over, everybody when it's you know, like for two hours, everybody brings something and have like a potlock, the kids get to play for a minute and then disperse. And it's really nice and easy, and the kids have a blast. I mean it's a great idea. Yes, that's really great. Bring something, so it's not like you're cooking a feast and it's just easy, it's like light bites.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yeah, and you're getting an outlet because you're with your friends, but the kids are also burning off steam and they're with their friends. We do but you're also really good at asking for help. But I think that is a skill set that, like, I know Nicole, you've talked about not being great at asking for help. I'm not great at asking for help. So I do think that's important too is to get better at like, hey, I can't do it all. I'll pick your kids up on Monday, Tuesday, but can you help me out on Wednesday, Thursday? Things like that. And receiving help, like letting people help you.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

I never used to ask for help, but you know what? I think well, it's just it's courage, and you know what? It it makes wonders because you're giving and taking, like you're also provide, you're also helping out, and so then you don't feel bad when you do need that help. Yeah. She takes my son to school every day. I take her son to school every afternoon, and then she is at work, and I know that. So yeah, so you just kind of figure out you know, logistics with with your core people that also need help. She's not a morning person, and it was easier to get him out. I could be like, Oh, her lights are on, I see the car's getting ready to leave. And he's like, Oh, I gotta run, you know, like it was it just makes it easier. And because I was just coming, Katie was like, we cannot do a morning carpal. That's like a lot of pressure, and like, what if we ruin this friendship through our neighbors? And I'm like, no, we're gonna do this because it's gonna make our kids get out a bag quicker if we have people waiting for us, and it made their kids get out of the house on time, or I'm gonna leave. And it just like it worked. So, but now we're not a couple of things.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Well, this is a great advice. So I I just moved to Georgia and my mom asked me this morning, she's like, What are you doing about after school and all of that? And I was like, I haven't gotten that far. First off, I'm like, I still have a few more weeks, mom. Thanks for putting the pressure on. But now I'm like, okay, I'm gonna have to ask. Like, I heard one of the neighbors is going to the same school. Like, I'm gonna just have to flat out ask because at this point I don't really have the connectivity that I, you know, that I've had all these other years. So I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna ask.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Oh my god, let me know. Jess has like, I feel like you have the best. I mean, you were traded like six times in one year, so you had to like you know, regain friendships every year.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Yeah, how do you build a village in a new place? Yeah, how do you tell me more?

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Um, I love her stories, they're so fun. It's hard, and you made people that like you probably wouldn't have been friends with or ever, you know, met. I'm one of the girls that I became friends with at the Orioles, we spent the most time there. She didn't really even speak English that well because she was from Mexico, her and her husband. So, and they had a little girl that was the same age as my daughter. And so it was it was fine, you know, like we became friends and probably never would have been in a different atmosphere, but we kind of leaned on each other and it was good. And yeah, it's hard because you don't know how long you're gonna be there and you don't know how long they're gonna be there, but it just had to like have the courage to put yourself out there. It's it's helpful when you have children. Um before kids, it's kind of hard because they're like a buffer for you a little bit, like an ice cream.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Here's my kid, and it's like yeah, I'm an introvert, I'm very nervous about meeting new people. So, like the thought of like just going up and trying to build a friendship with somebody new seems very intimidating to me, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah, and they're not like they're not always friendly either because you know, you're just a girlfriend or you're I don't know, it's it's weird. Uh, when we first went to Baltimore, I didn't have kids yet, and so I didn't know anybody on the team, and the apartment complex that we were renting from had a yappy hour, is what they called it, and it was with dogs, it was a dog yappy hour, and so I met some of our neighbors through that with our dogs, and I actually still talk to some of them on Facebook, like back and forth a little bit because they followed his career, but yeah, I mean, you just kind of like do whatever you can, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Find some common trends, like when my dog escaped over the weekend and we had to find him on the neighbor's front porch. Like, we automatically had to like introduce ourselves in that way.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Or hi, nice to meet you. Just let your dog out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Yeah, you tell her they'll find you some new friends.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

And Michael, I don't think I think you are very outgoing once you get to once you like once you give 15 minutes with someone, I feel like they fall in love with you. So I feel like you should never, you know, be nervous about that because you're an amazing friend.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

And you're someone that I wanted to be friends with when we first met. Oh, good. Not that it matters. No, you don't. No, I'm just kidding. Same thing. I was like, I'm I met Jess at our house or at her house, and I was like, we're gonna be friends for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

I do love that. I do love when you meet new people and you there's immediately like a good vibe there. Like you're like, oh no, no, I think I think we're on the same wavelength.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Or I just like attached to myself. Like yeah, she didn't, she couldn't get rid of me, like even if she tried. She I'm a stage bag flinger.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

I always feel like to her mom, I was your stage bag player for a while. Well, good. Well, it seems like it really worked out pretty well. But yeah, okay, so Nicole, you brought up something that I wanted to talk about, which was a pinch point as one of these systems when your your partner is traveling, and that's the pickup and the getting them to all of their different activities. Like, how do you guys literally solve that?

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Well, you had a like a schedule that she sent me the last time he was gone, because our kids have weird hours at school. Like the middle school is 9:30 to 4:30, and the elementary school 7:30 to 2. And so she was like, Can you pick up this day? I'll take this day. And so she like kind of sent me a calendar, and then we would remind each other, like, oh, today's early release day, like, don't forget your kids. So yeah, we would pick days, like, I'll I'll do these if you could do this, yeah, for me in the afternoons. So that gives her a break too. I also have that sky calendar in my kitchen, which I was so sick of my husband asking me, like, what's the schedule? What's the schedule? It was really for him, yeah. But it's really good for the kids because they look at it every week, they see their schedule, they see where they're supposed to be at, and then they know, like, okay, well, I have this, they're not asking me a hundred times a day anymore.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Okay, all right. I looked at the sky calendar, I saw it in your kitchen, but I I've looked at it over the years, and my husband has been like, we need to get it. But then I talked to another mutual friend of ours that had it. She's like, I was spending half my life updating the sky calendar, and then they were still asking me what we had to do. So it became like a very expensive waste of my time. Like it was just another thing I had to admin.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Stephen and I have a joint calendar on our iPhones, and so he doesn't always look at it unless like he has somebody ask him, Can you go golfing on this day or can you do that? Go do this, and so then he'll look and he'll see like what we have. Yeah. So he's pretty good about it now. But yeah, he would always be asking me like what we're doing, or he still sometimes does, but it does help. Yeah, and like we have like, you know, like I oh sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

No, no, no, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Oh, I just have you know, like I have the Google Calendar app and then just updates the SkyCount or the Sky calendar. So I don't have to do two of them, and just I have to update my own calendar for the kids and and to keep me organized. So it just works. It it like just follows it to that calendar.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Okay, so now are you guys both the what was that? I have a tricky question. Okay, all right. So you two are friends and you're sharing pickups, you're sharing drop offs. Have you ever forgotten when it was your turn to pick up or drop off?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

No, no, no, I didn't think we were close enough to where I mean I'm only like two minutes down the street. So oh wait, you forgot to pick up Dom that one time, but your kid was Jensen wasn't even at school that day. Oh yeah, and I was like, oh, Dom's calling, and so she's like zipped over, it took her two seconds. But I think I've done this a few times to you, where I'm doing the morning drop-offs. So I pick up crew on the way to school and another neighborhood, another neighbor. And I'm like, last minute, I'm like, hey, I can't do it this morning. It's just like someone's sick or I'm not feeling good, you're on your own. And like then it puts it on her, but not a lot. But we're like a golf cart right away, like it's yeah, very close. So it doesn't yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

One of our earlier episodes, Nicole forgot it was her turn return for carpool, and she had to run Alvador in her pajamas with her cup of coffee.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah, she might be a good one. It just reminded me. I one day I was on pickup duty and school got out like the 210, and it was 215, and I got a phone call at the office, and they're like, Oh, you forgot to pick up Chloe today. And I was like, Oh shit. So everyone was like, I'll be there in 15 minutes. I don't know what else to do. And they're like, Oh, you're fine, you're fine. And I had to call my friend and be like, hey, sorry, I forgot. Like, I'm on my way, like, don't be alarmed. And they had already gotten the phone call too, and I was like, Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Oh no. Well, luckily our kids can like just start walking towards us. So that's good. That's not too bad.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Remember, I have this has happened to me before, and I hate this feeling. But like, if I'm trying to pick up, especially with the three kids, if they're in different places and like I have a very finite amount of time that I can go get one at their place and then make it to pick up the other one at their place, and then like you get stuck in traffic or something happens, and that's just a moment of panic of like, I'm not gonna make it. Like, my kids are gonna be there, they're gonna be out on the curb somewhere, like right, just pure panic. Does that ever happen to anybody else?

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Yes. I drive really fast to get on time, and I don't like to be late, but I am, but yes, but you know what? They're okay. They can wait.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

I know. I tell myself, oh no, I gotta tell you. So one of my kids has been in occupational therapy, and I love his occupational therapist for sure. But she is like, if you are not there three minutes before the end of his session, she's already texting you. Like, just so you know, the door is here. And it's like, yeah, I know I've been coming to you for years. And she has like a common lobby that like has toys, and like he's safe, and he can just like hang out there in the lobby waiting. I'm five, but she is like on it. Like she is she's gonna fire me as a client. I'm gonna a little bit. I know, I'm charging you, right? Like seriously. So that does stress me out. Okay. Next question is so you've got kind of this heavy load, even if you're relying on your friendships and your village, you kind of have this heavy load of of being this person for your entire family while your partner is gone. Does it ever just get overwhelming? Like, do you ever just feel like, how um, how am I gonna keep doing this? Like it's a lot. And what do you do about that?

SPEAKER_01 23:09

I mean, I think after COVID, I think we've all gone into like a shock of like it's back. Like our the lifestyles that we had before COVID and how we did it. I don't know how we did it that way. And you know, like dropped off five things before we go to work and like dropped off our kids at daycare, and like I I just feel like it's that fast pace is back and it's more shocking to our systems now that we know what it was like during COVID. I think I get overwhelmed a little bit more because I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to do this. But I think you break it down, you just get through one day at a time. Like, I don't look at it as like JD's gone for two weeks. I look at it as like, okay, let's work on tomorrow. Like, what can we do tomorrow and get through it? And if I'm on a meeting or if there's 30 minutes for me to quickly clean, and my kids are really good now. Like, I'm like, hey, dad's away. Each one has to take their chore. You guys have to do your chores, like you have to get, you have to help me take the trash out, take the bins out, empty the dishwasher. Like everybody kind of helps. And I think that helps me not get so overwhelmed. But there's always laundry, there's always uh, you know, dishes, and then there's work on top of it. So I I think we just I think everybody just needs to take a day at a time, and that's just like how I get through it. It's like, okay, let's focus on tomorrow. What can I do to make tomorrow better?

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Okay, that's good advice. I mean, because my Jason does travel not for long periods, and not I'm I travel a lot more than he does, but I still get the overwhelmed feeling of like how and I feel like a lot of it is like a self-created pressure of like, well, how am I gonna have this picture perfect house and these picture perfect children and this like you just at some point it gets overwhelming? You have to just lower the bar a little, like leave it.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Be honest, like my house is way cleaner when my husband's not here. Like we want to sit there.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Like my house operates so nicely when my husband is not in. I love him dearly, but when he's there, it is like pure freaking chaos. And you know, he looks at the calendar, like you said, just half the time, and then it's like, oh, I want to play golf. And I'm like, go screw yourself. I've been doing this, and I just want to play golf. Oh, it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

I love that we're getting kind of real here. Like it is everyone's jealous when JD's out of town, they're like, JD's out of town, okay, we're coming over, or they're like, Why can't our husbands travel? And I'm like, Yes, it's really, really nice, but it I mean, it's but it's more work on me. But yes, it is, it is nice, and it gives me some time alone with my kids. Yeah, which I love.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

And you're right about the kids, usually do jump in a lot more when the other person it happens when I travel and my husband's in charge too. Like, I'm not oblivious to that. Like, they tend to realize that the slack has to be picked up and the house functions better when everybody's working together, whether they want to admit to it or not. But my husband will say the same thing. Like, when I'm gone, it operates like perfectly fine without me, even though I think I'm the creator of and facilitator of all things. I'm not, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

He and then when it comes back, he's like, Okay, well, why are we doing it this way? Or why are we? I'm like, don't mess with my don't yeah, don't mess with the system.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Yeah, it works. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Mine comes home and he's like, Why do you always have things in the sink? And I was like, That's what you're gonna, that's what you're gonna pick on me for today, like the sink?

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Buy things, like do things around the house that he'd be like, Oh, where what what are you gonna do this time that I'm out of town? But I always tell my friends I don't know how they can manage all the things and work because I don't work, but and I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. But I also like took on every task because my husband was working and I he doesn't know how to do a lot of things, so he like will call her. Can we talk talk about Steven for a minute? Yeah, he'll like call her and be like, What did I what did I order on my sub again? I need help. Or like he traveled with JD one time and he the guys give him a lot of drama. They he went to the gate, or I don't know how he didn't check his bag, he didn't check his bag, and then he was like, Well, what do I do? And you have oh my god, you have traveled all these years, like 15 years or 10 years with MLB, and you had all these flights, but like you don't have your ticket. Where's your ticket? And he's like, I don't know. He called me, Jeff has it, just a and then he was like, I don't have or I have to go check my luggage and he already went through there. He didn't have a report. It was like, I don't know how he does it. You do it all. And then like he went to lunch and everyone had ordered and he didn't order, and he was like, Well, usually, like, he'll just ask, he'll be like, Why don't you just order me something that I'll like? So, like all of us guys, all the guys are like, Did you you didn't order? Like, what are you doing? You you don't know how to order so funny. It is so funny. He's like a professional baseball player, and then he told him that. Yes, but you handle it so good, and yeah, that's like you do everything at your house. Yeah, it's very efficient. You have a lot of patience, Jessica. Um, I don't know, I guess you sound like you do, yeah. I mean, I get frustrated for sure.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

I tell him, like, I'm drowning here, like I need you to like help a little bit, but yeah, but then when you ask him to help, at least in our house, like if I ask him to help, he wants to give me like a very detailed to-do list of exactly what it is that I want him to help, and then have 10 follow-up questions on how to help, but it's like right, that's not really helping. That's yeah, that's just me momming you, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Yes, that's true. I feel like they do that on purpose so they can get out of it.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Weaponized incompetence. We've talked about this before. Like, if there's so you're so much better at it than I am, then get better, right? Right, I don't want to be better.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

I want to be better.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

A disclaimer, we all love our husbands very much. We love them. Yes, love them.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

All right, I have a question. I'm gonna jump in. What is the thing you never tell people you are struggling with?

SPEAKER_01 29:23

I definitely complain to y'all about what do I what do I compla what do I not complain about? I mean, I don't know. I feel like I've been out of budget lately. I think that's really hard for and that sounds awful. You guys, that's awful. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

No, we just have talked about about this. Like, I I am not a budget person, I just keep spending in hopes that there's still money in there and it's a it's bad, right? It I can't, I should not operate this way. I'm a professional, business professional, I should have all my shit together. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

But I feel like for years I never like we just didn't look and or I wasn't involved, I would say, more in like what like what's coming out, and I knew it was coming in, but like how much am I spending on Amazon? How much I spending on this, or parties, or just monthly expenses. So when we moved, I went through every single like line item, and it was mind-blowing, and it was sad. I'm like, that is a lot of money that goes towards this and goes towards that, and it's like doesn't like your cell phone bill. Yes, how much do you guys pay? I'm like, I constantly like asking our friends, I'm like, what's your cell phone bill? Mine is like $500 and da-da-da-da. And like, and a lot of it was Jake's travel, but like still, I got that down to like $275. Like you could have done it. I could have done months ago. And same thing with like our internet. Like, I felt like I called every place and was like, I need this down now. Like, I've been in a client of 10 years, like, get it down now. Yeah, so I think that helped, but like going through of like, okay, so here's now my budget. I don't like to talk about it, I don't like to talk about money, and it's been really hard, yeah, doable.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Yes, I just moved too, and so that you're a hundred percent right. Like, I started going through as I'm canceling, I'm looking at the fees, and then as I'm signing up here, I'm looking at I now have it all written down so I can be like, okay, like this is what we've got. I'm trying, I'm with you. I'm trying on the budget aspect, and I want to be better at it because there's bigger things that I want to do, and uh I need to get this under control.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

I love budgeting, I budget for fun.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

That's my downtime is budgeting. And that's why I think you're so good, Michael Ann, because you're like, I'm redoing my kitchen counters, or I'm redoing this, or I'm redoing my office. Like, you have it all planned already, probably, and paid for, and like it's done.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Like it's yeah, and pay for it all in advance. Like, actually, we were talking about this weekend about whether we're gonna go on a spring break trip or where we're gonna go or what's that gonna look like because we're doing a couple of other trips this year, and like we went to this year, we already went to Ireland and Scotland, and we went to Austria last year, we went to Canada. So I'm like, well, maybe we don't go on spring break or we just do a low-key thing. And my husband's like, that is next year, that is in March. Why are you asking me? And I'm like, that's how we pay for it, that's how we go on the that's how we take our three kids to Austria and Germany. We we're like a year in advance, and by the time we get there, it's a free trip because we paid for it over the course of 10 months.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Like, yeah, I should probably Katie's the last minute or I last minute. We when we go to Italy for I book it three weeks beforehand beforehand. Yeah, it's like she can't commit. I can't commit. JD's really bad at committing. I'm surprised we committed to each other because we're really bad at committing. They're so bad about like making something and sticking to it. Like, I know I'm going to Minnesota to the cabin for my brother's wedding, and I don't have my ticket yet. And the wedding, but she knows when the wedding is the wedding. Why are you not just pulling the trip for a ticket? Like, well, I don't know what day I want to go. Like, there's lots of things happening, logistics.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

I just don't know. At least book one ticket and move it around if you have to. This is I'm like nervous for you.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

I know I know she did this with our last trip that we took as a no, that would stress me out.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Google tells me when it's cheapest to fly, and I'm gonna book that day, whether it's one or two days.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Yeah, that's what I need to keep. That's what I need to do, but I just don't like it's a committing doesn't want to commit to that. I don't want to commit to that day. It's so weird. It's so I need to probably go to a therapist and they can tell me what is wrong with me, but I don't like to commit except to my husband.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Well, we we all need to go to a therapist. Yeah, let's call the spade a spade. We we all need to go to a therapist for one reason or another. Right. Like your neuroses, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Yeah, but yeah, I'm very last minute. I'll be like, okay, I'll book a ticket tomorrow. Like, I'll go if it's ready. Yeah, if we're ready to do. I'm like, we're gonna go to spring break.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

I know what I would be like, no, that's I I can't do that. It's so much more than I would have paid if I would have booked it even a week ago.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Right. And it's hard to make plans with her because you're like, Are you going? Are you really going? You're curious. I know what it's about. I'm sorry. That sucks. Yeah, but I'm used to it now.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Okay, I want to know from everybody in this call, what is one thing that you like to do all by yourself? Like, kids, get the heck out of my face, husband adios. I need this, have this alone time doing X.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

I like to watch like my shows. What are your shows? What shows? Just like I don't know, like Netflix series or like movies. Anything good we should be watching. Um what was the hockey off campus? We liked that one. That was okay.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

Um, I just watched the voicemails for Isabel. That was like a heart-wrenching movie. Have you seen that on Netflix? No, is it good? Is it really sad? I just started it. It's sad, but it's like a good feeling sad. I don't know. It was good though. I hadn't seen a good movie in a while.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Okay. I'm a big fan of all all things Bravo. That's my advice. Yes, I like all of those too.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

All right, Katie, what do you like to do alone?

SPEAKER_01 35:13

I love to take a nap. Like naps. Okay. I love I hate naps. How long is that? Like I can nap for an hour and I could sleep anywhere. Like I could just put like something over my eyes, not even my eye mask. It could be like a sock and I'll nap for like 30 minutes. Hour.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

Really? Like you can just fall asleep instantly.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

It's wild.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

But I don't I don't get to do it. I don't get to do it. So when I get to do it, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. Like and then you wake up refreshed. I mean, I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't say like sometimes, yes, but other times I mean, I just like wake up and I'm like, okay, I gotta get back to it. Like, not refreshed, but it I just like the peacefulness of like just resting. I love that. I am the terrible dapper. I'm highly impressed. Yeah, I would lay there and be like, oh, I really should be doing this right now. Yeah, all the other things are floating in the game. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

Yeah, all the ways to be productive. I'm not a great sleeper. Oh, in general, anyway, like even at night. So I can't imagine like being able to just randomly fall asleep during the day.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

This is amazing at bedtime. Well, I think that's why I take a good nap because I don't really sleep at night either. I have really sleep bad. So, like when I can just like lay down and like just put it away for 30 minutes, I can do it. I love that. And I don't know. It's hard for you with him. Because he has like calls for with Hong Kong in like the middle of the night. Like he was talking about our sprinklers one time, and I'm like, How did you know my sprinklers were going off at 4 a.m.? And he was like, Well, I was on a call with Germany or Hong Kong or somewhere. And I was like, Oh. So I hear him a lot. So that's kind of hard. You can't really feel him getting up and down.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

I can't imagine that. I can't imagine him having to make those calls.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Like I Yeah, he doesn't sleep at all. He doesn't, he doesn't sleep at all.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

All right, Nicole, what do you want to do?

SPEAKER_00 37:10

I I from nine until 10 at night, because everybody's kind of like out of my hair, nine to ten at night. I do the same. I watch a little bit of television. So it can wrap up like the house has to be like organized before I sit down. And then I sit down and I I'm watching. So right now I'm hooked on VCC, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, which I think I just finished last night. And what is it with Rip and Beth, Dutton Ranch?

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Oh, I haven't started that, but I watched Yellow.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Is it good? I like it. Listen, I love Rip and Beth, so I don't know that I not like the show, but yeah, it's it's good.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

I don't have a time in my life that everybody like I don't we're like everybody goes away from you from nine to ten. That does that doesn't yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

Well, listen, like our youngest is in bed. Mike is in probably in another room. I'm either downstairs or you know what I mean? Like we can separate all at that time, and I don't have to worry about it. Even during the summer, like Chloe's off doing her thing, Mike's doing his thing. Like I can take that hour or 30 minutes, whatever it ends up being, and just really decompress for the day. Like I have to have it.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

I need it for sure. I feel like every time I literally sit down in my house, though, all of like my husband, the dogs, my kids are all like little puppies, just like they're like, oh let me go with the gotta set some boundaries with these people.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

You gotta tell them. I I tell them I'm like, mom's off the clock, the cruise director is done.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

You've been telling me that, and I've been working on that. Between work and traveling for work, like I I feel guilty. Like, I feel like I need to try to engage better.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

Or just feel that's real.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

Then I just feel guilty when I'm saying, like, I'm clacking out. Plus, the kids, my kids are a little bit older, the boys are a little bit older, so they're staying up later than I do. Yeah, mine does. Isn't that like them to bed kind of feeling? You need to find some space, even if it's 30 minutes or you definitely do. I want to know very specifically, either now or in the past, like what are the things that all of us are outsourcing, like that you are paying somebody else to do for your system? Okay, I know you're on a budget right now, so maybe you can use a pastime.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

I mean, we just have like lawn care. We have lawn care and like pool guy. Same, but I mean, there was a time where I was mowing our own lawn and like she's on the roof and takes like her roofs are like this, okay, like peaks and like really high up and like blows them, it's like the gutters and cleans up. I'm like, You're climbing up the roof, and she's like, Well, they're gonna charge me 25. That was a lot of money, and I was like, Nuh uh. Because there's only like like they didn't need to do the whole house. She likes will pressure wash her roof too. Like, I don't know, I feel like you are climbing out of windows and I'm top, and like she gets the job done. There's nothing. My disposal was broken the other day, and I was like under the sink trying to fix it, and Steven was like standing behind me, and I'm like, I don't need you watching me do this. Like, yeah, JD's helped you one time with sprinklers, she does sprinklers now. Yeah, she's a sprinkler, it's daller because I like had a lot of time where I was on my own, and I was like, there wasn't a choice.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

I had to be really impressive though. That's really I'm relatively handy on interior stuff, but that's really impressive. I love that. I really love that about you.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

I would say, yeah, I like cut the cleaning lady. Well, she kind of cut you. She's like, we only do smaller, she goes, we only do small homes. And I was like, okay, well, you can't come with me after 10 years. She's like, nope.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

Oh my god, you gotta let her buy your cleaning lady.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

I know, but then I'm like, now I know like the real cost. Like my lady was giving me a deal, and I'm like, I can do that myself, or my kids can make that a chart. So I would say I've been really limiting door dash, it's just so expensive just to have food. So I only do that if we need to, or like, or if I need a break when JD's gone, we'll do a door dash, or like we'll have, but yeah, I would say Walmart delivery. And that's yes, I do that. Walmart delivery has been really helpful. That's it. They don't upcharge. I do have our old nanny comes back when we don't have like finding help now that I'm in the office and JD's traveling. She's gonna be here Tuesday through Thursday just to drive the kids and like help with that. So that's helpful when JD's out of town. Errands for you, yeah. And she runs errands for me and she does my returns and yeah. Oh, I love that. That's a key ingredient.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

All right, Nicole, what are you outsourcing? What are you paying for? So, right now, what are you going to, I guess?

unknown 42:00

Right?

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Because you are fully in.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

I have a housekeeper coming over today or tomorrow to give me the estimate. So we'll see that. But coming, so I'm renting right now before we buy to understand the market, and that it came with a lawn guy, which was fantastic. And then I'm in the market of trying to figure out who's gonna drive. So I've got to figure that out. But outside of that, I've been doing a shit ton of DoorDash and shipped because I'm trying to multitask. And so it's just been saving me. Like I'm in the middle of doing these boxes and I'm doing them. And so shipped and uh DoorDash has just saved me time, you know, away. So I think that'll come to an end very soon, hopefully, because otherwise my budget will be blown. But until that point, I'm gonna keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

When you're like busy with packing and unpacking, or you know, like that's you need that time. I always have an advice cleaner. You know, that's my time. I don't want to take time when my kids are small and clean my house. Like, that's why I always had someone do it, but now I don't. I don't spend most of my time cleaning when the kids are school for sure.

SPEAKER_00 43:10

I literally mind cleaning though, and I didn't mind I didn't mind mowing the grass either. I actually enjoyed it. It was kind of like instant gratification for me to do both of those things, especially if I put a pattern in the grass. I was like, oh, this is fantastic. I know I don't I don't mind getting mowing, I kind of like it.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

It's a good sweat, and then you jump in the pool, you know?

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Yeah, exactly. I feel like I'm not gonna answer my own question because I feel very spoiled. Oh my god, let's hear it. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Tell us everything.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

I want to have like Jace and I are both working. He works out of the office, and I travel a lot for work.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

You do not have to justify it. Tell us we defined.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

We don't, we are we're actually jealous, we're happy.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

We we do have a pool person, we have a lawn person, we our kids go to Aftercare, and we have a nanny, and our nanny does all of our returns. Our nanny is also my mom. Well, um, and she will prep dinner if I tell her exactly what to make and kind of that kind of stuff. And she does all my Amazon returns, and she'll even do like my annoying returns, like all the way at Nordstrom or something. So that's wonderful. I shipped almost all of our groceries every week and or my target runs. I uber eated lunch today for my children because they are home from camp. Is there anything else I'm gonna have a cleaning lady? She comes every two weeks. I've been debating if I need her every week. They make a lot of messes. Yeah, I think I'm just spoiled.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

You're not. That's this is what I call efficient, though, because I I was at a presentation. This is well before I had children. I was at a presentation and Alex Sink uh was speaking and she said, do not be afraid to ask for help. And she said it could be someone to pick up your groceries, it could be someone to pick up your kids, it could be someone to come fold your laundry. And at one point, I had somebody come over and wash and fold all of our laundry when the kids were a lot younger. So you have to do what's right for you because you're trying to juggle a hundred things and you do have to work, like legit, you know, all these other things we can outsource. I can't outsource work. I actually have to show up and do the work. So it's do not be afraid, or you know, what's the word I'm looking for? Don't be afraid to do it and don't feel ashamed for doing it. Like it's it is what works for you, and it doesn't matter what the rest of us do or say or anything like that. It's how your house and your life operate.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

Oh, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 45:44

Yeah. All right. Last question What age does everybody think was the hardest, like with your kids? Like the baby phase, the toddler phase, the tween phase. Like, what is the hardest to try to manage?

SPEAKER_01 45:59

I would say middle school.

unknown 46:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

But I'm like out of like I think I have PTSD from having three under four. So I feel like I blocked out like two, I blocked out maybe two years there. I can't remember how hard it was. But now I'm in it with middle, like now I have Maddie going off to high school and then I've done it. I think that's like where the hormones and like the attitude and like the testing and that's coming out, and met it's more mental challenges and physical, I would say. That's that's been the hardest for me. I would say the baby years because my husband was still playing baseball when they were both babies, so that was really hard because he was gone for two weeks out of the month every month, and even when he's there, like they don't go to the field when game time or right before the game, it's like they go to the field at one. And so you're on your own with babies, and that was hard. And spring training, like they're up at six, so like he, you know, he had to be on he had to be his best self, and so yeah, I was like a single mom. It was hard, really hard when they were little. Yeah, you're I'm gonna have to hand my baby to a stranger, basically, or my daughter would hold my son. I don't know how you do that with little kids running hard and moving and traveling and traveling, yeah, and building a village and making new friends and all that pressure.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

Yeah, I am not married to a professional athlete, surprisingly, but I have to imagine that that's just I mean, because he he has to be hyper focused.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

Yeah. I mean, there was one time I was like holding my son and it was spring, because I had him in the end of January of 2018, and it was spring training, and he would sleep in another room because he'd go to bed at nine, and I was like bouncing him on the ball because he had really bad reflux and heat, and I was crying and the baby's crying, and he's like, Good night. And then the next morning he was like, Man, I'm just really glad you guys are still here. Like, I'm like, Oh my god, like hope you slept well. But yeah, it was hard, but like he couldn't be up all night either. I like love hearing her stories because it's like the inside truth of like what happened. But I mean, you know, we weren't hiring nannies and things like that, like it wasn't we we weren't like he wasn't really, I don't know. Like some of the guys that have multi-million dollar contracts, you know, like there were times when we didn't know if he was gonna have a job. Yeah, he like you know, applied to University of Phoenix one year and was like, I'm gonna have to go back to college, but manage through all of these unknowns, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:37

So it's terrible. Yeah, I have a cousin going through this right now, her husband coaches, and it's he's gone for multiple. Multi hours or worse. Yeah, and the 24 hours that he gets, he comes home, and it's like I said to her, I was like, is it even worth it sometimes? Like it's crazy. And then she's had to travel to go see him. So you're putting the baby in the car for four or five hours, and it's like my aunt ends up going with them because she's like, they need they need their time for their relationship, and then he also needs to have a relationship with the baby. So it's I can only imagine how you did that, and you know, the just the strain it probably had on your relationship.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

Yeah, yeah, like we didn't have, and he's like, he was like, I don't want to babysit, and I'm like, This isn't babysitting, like, this is your kid. What do you mean? Like the he's not used to it either. Like the off time, he's like wants to, you know, be off, and I'm like, Well, we have a kid, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

Yeah, you have to participate here, right? It's just different.

SPEAKER_00 49:39

Yeah, were you traveling?

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Were you going to the different cities as well when he was like I didn't travel often because it's harder when you travel with them? Like in your home stadium, there's usually a playroom or a kids' room, depending on what your team is like. Some teams are better than others. When you're on the road, it's like you're in sitting in the stands with them, or you're sitting at the hotel waiting for your husband to get back. So it's not fun to travel. Some wives do, they like it, but it wasn't, it was worse for me to travel. I thought it was really yesterday. We were talking, and she goes, He got traded one time, and I got in the car, drove 20 hours, I made a pit stop after 10, slept in the parking lot. Yeah, I slept in the car, and then woke up that and I go, by yourself? And she's like, Yes. Because they fly out the next day, they don't like you don't get like a warning like when they get traded. And yeah, but I okay, so here's what I think. You are a doer and you get things done. Like we get a debt, we get things done. You guys are getting it, you know, you get a debt. I think I don't know. I just it's just I love hearing it, and I yeah, and she's so empathetic. Like, I'm like, oh work was hard today, or this happened. She's like, I don't know how you do it. I don't know how and she's so empathetic, like she's not working right, but she's like, I don't know. And you have this and you do this and you do this and you do this, and I'm like, you're hard on yourself, but she's like like gets it, and this is why is like she's done this, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

Yeah, and just you're on your roof blowing leaves. So let's just point this out. You are getting it done, very much getting it done. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I don't even know what is the hardest. I do things I I don't miss at all. All my kids can get themselves in the car. I don't have to put them in their car seats and like walk around. That was really annoying for a long time. All my kids can use a public restroom. I feel like that was a big milestone. You know, like I mean, imagine like remember the days when you'd have to take like your boys into the girls' room, or like, you know, like my daughter, like she's better, like she can hover in a public restroom now, but like remember those times when they can't? Like you're like, don't touch anything. Like, and they can just go sit right there with their hands, and you're like, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like when they're in the bathroom with you, your boys, and you're like, turn around, mommy's got to pee, but don't look. It's so like what's the screen?

SPEAKER_03 52:07

And you're like, oh god.

SPEAKER_02 52:09

Yeah. So this feels like a good mild. So now, but then they've got all this other crap I gotta take them to, and they want to hang out with their friends, and I gotta drive them here and drive them there, and yeah, and they won't even talk to me anymore. And so I know.

SPEAKER_00 52:21

Well, I'm excited for you guys all to have teenagers because I personally think that is the hardest because that I am like it for me in seeing that next step and still having a younger one, it was hard to allow it, it was a life lesson every day. And or it still is, it's a life lesson every single day. And you what you're transforming or what you're telling them is impactful for the rest of their lives. Not that it's not when they're little, but this is like, you know, driving and drinking and drugs and sex and all the things that you're like you try to steer them away from for so long now. They're experimenting with it. Like, where's the fine line? Are they allowed to have a drink with you when you're on vacation, even though they're underage, or like it's for me, that's the hardest part because I'm extra I am extremely conservative in my parenting and on a lot of things. And so it's that for me to let go and like be less in control, it it's that has been so so hard. My husband really has had to step up in that regard, and he has. He's done a great job with the teenagers. I like recluse back in because I'm like, I'm gonna lose it on these guys. Like, I'm literally gonna lose my mind, and I have, and they know it, but we all recover, have recovered from it. And now I feel like I'm starting to become a little less anxious and a little bit more accepting of this phase. And I can see why by the fourth, I may just be like, screw it, you know, go party every weekend, but it stops.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

Okay. Well, Michael I said something to me. I was showing her Maddie's face, and you know, Maddie's 14 and she's a freshman, and I was like, we might put like this is her area, and we might put like a couch, and she's like, Katie, like it's I can't even she's like they're gonna have sex, like she like this house. Are you gonna just like this is like freedom?

SPEAKER_02 54:21

Like they can just have sex on the couch, buy them a couch, you're just giving them a vessel, and it's really far away from the main part of the house, like it would be very private.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

And I was like, Oh my god, I'm getting your pool table now. So I think something, I think the teen years are gonna be rough, yeah. I do see I I you're right. Like, I think we've already like Maddie yesterday was like, Can I have a sip on that? I'm like, no, like she's trying, like she's yeah, she's like, Well, I'm not going to parties. I'm like, Yes, I love that. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but right, you don't need to have a drink at 14 with me. Like, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

I know, and then what is socially acceptable? What's not?

SPEAKER_01 55:04

So we were we're that's a good topic for another one. What is socially responsible? And what's being a bad mom? Like, you don't want your mom, you're like, you don't want to turn your kid into like Mackenzie, the one that like hits, you know, like be those parents, you know, the crash, like God forbid, they don't like yeah, they're terrible.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

They have like like you guys, you can never drink alcohol, and then they just like repel and they go.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

I don't want them to go wild. Like, I want that happy medium where they still tell me, I just can't react. You can't react, you have to pretend. We have to pretend, just stay calm, and then hopefully they keep telling you.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Like, call and call me. Like, if you're in a dangerous situation, like feel like you can call me to come try to bail you out.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

I always tell Jensen, I'm like, there's never anything that's gonna be bad enough that like you can't call me. I was like, if you think it's bad enough, I don't care what we have to do. Yeah, yeah, like we'll fix it.

SPEAKER_00 56:00

Just call, just call me. And then you do get the phone call because it happens, I've gotten it. And I in 1 a.m. and I'm like, okay, don't react. Like you said, don't react. I'm gonna go do this. And then they want to have this conversation. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. We're not talking about this. We're literally picking you up, shut your mouth, and I'm driving you home. That is where this ends. And then and then I just happen to wake them up at 7:30 the next morning to clean the gutters and the windows and everything else.

SPEAKER_01 56:27

No, mom and dad used to do that all the time. I love that backing out the door.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

I love this place, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

That's a I do. I love that like your kids can feel comfortable calling, you know. I think that's really I called my dad whenever there was an incident where I'm like, oh my god, I need to get out of here, or the cocks are here. I can't, or I, you know, like I feel like it's getting it's getting bad. Like, I would call my dad and he would never punish me for calling him, right? Yeah. He would make me leave work the next day because he knew I shouldn't have been there, but he would definitely he was happier to have me in a seat. You weren't scared to call back. Yeah, call him again.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

Yeah, the last thing I want any of them to do is get in the car with somebody who had been drinking, and we've had that conversation a number of times. So I'm hopeful, you know, they'll do the right thing, but again, it's never a sure thing, and uh it's it's tough. There's a lot of things you don't know, and they'll tell me they're like, Oh, well, you don't know, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I I had an inkling, but I'm not gonna call you out on every single thing because I'd be calling you out every single day. So it's it's hard the things that you just keep your mouth shut versus the ones you do speak up on.

SPEAKER_01 57:33

Yeah, is that like the hill you're gonna die on? Is it like that issue? You know, like I'm not like I'm you gotta pick your battles, I think. But that's a really good topic for you guys.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

Like you guys will have to come back and we'll talk about it again. I don't know. We're not experts there. We're learning. We want to hear from your you guys and like oh yeah, we'll find somebody else who knows the answer.

SPEAKER_01 57:53

Yeah, that have gone through the high school. We need to learn because we're going through it.

SPEAKER_02 57:58

Well, thank you, ladies. We love all the advice that you've given us today. We are so so grateful that you guys were here. I hope you had fun. And remember, it's double booked official podcasts, and you can listen to it wherever you get your podcasts Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and watch us on YouTube.