The Intuition Era
One therapist turned spiritual girlie. One spiritual girlie turned therapist. Friends for over a decade, Miranda and Emily talk all things life, self-help, spirituality, and manifestation. Learn how to tap into your own intuition and create the life of your dreams as they do the same!
Disclaimer: The Intuition Era Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional for any mental health or medical concerns.
The Intuition Era
4. Affirmations & The Stories We Tell Ourselves
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What has the voice in your head been saying lately??!! In this episode, we're talking all about affirmations, mindset, and the stories we tell ourselves every single day. From the beliefs that hold us back to the affirmations that help us move forward, we're sharing our own experiences of rewiring old thought patterns and learning to become our own biggest hype women. Join us for a conversation about self-talk, personal growth, and how changing your inner dialogue might just change your life.
Book References: "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay
"Guided Tarot" by Stefanie Caponi
Podcast References: Your Manifesting Bestie Podcast "The Internal GPS"
The Lavendaire Lifestyle "Positive Affirmations for Self Love, Self Esteem, and Confidence"
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Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are our own and are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Please consult a qualified professional regarding your individual circumstances.
We're two friends who spend way too much time trying to make sense of literally everything.
SPEAKER_01We have a lot of conversations that start with, wait, am I overthinking this? And end with no. Because that actually feels like a sign. So we figured we should probably just stop talking about it in private. Welcome to the intuition era. Welcome back to the intuition era. I'm Emily. I'm Miranda. And today we're going to be talking about affirmations and the stories that we tell ourselves.
SPEAKER_00We are so excited to talk about this one. Affirmations are near and dear to my heart. Um, specifically, we're gonna talk about the pros and cons. As I have gone through my journey, and Emily, I know that you're the same as well. Um, I mean, affirmations really worked at the beginning, right? But there is like this space between what you're calling in and what your reality is. And that's what we really want to focus on today. However, before we start, Emily is feeling out of sorts today. And I thought that it was, it would be a really beneficial thing for you guys to hear about why she's feeling out of sorts and what she's gonna do live on this podcast right now to kind of like center in and show up.
SPEAKER_01Oh my God. So what does it feel like in your body?
SPEAKER_00What does it feel like in your body right now?
SPEAKER_01Well, I just feel a little anxious, a little overwhelmed, probably had too much caffeine. Caffeine is just not good for me, and I need to stop. Um, but I did not ground myself today. I did not protect myself today, and um, I didn't pull my cards and I didn't write my gratitude. So I just kind of, it's like 1 p.m. when we're recording this, and I kind of have just like cranked out through the day, like just hyperfixated on a couple things. And then, you know, the time kind of got away from me. So what I'm going to do now is just like take a deep breath and kind of imagine myself grounding down into the earth and protect myself really quick, um, just by like imagining a wall of fire around me. That's kind of my go-to to protect myself so that like my energy stays with me and I don't get affected by other people's energy. Um, and grounding myself, I'm just gonna kind of envision um like a really safe, loving cord wrapping all the way around me and grounding me down to the center of the earth and kind of like locking in the center of the earth so that I'm like here and I'm present. Um, and yeah, and then I'm gonna pull a couple tarot cards and just for like out loud gratitudes. I'm grateful for this podcast. I'm grateful for Miranda. I'm grateful for um tarot cards. Like honestly, I know like I don't have it memorized, and there's like a little bit of shame around that because I'm like, you know, what do I know? But I really have been enjoying my tarot cards because they are such a helpful tool for me to tune into my intuition. Um, and I always felt like they were something that like you had to be a special person, like a psychic or a medium or whatever to do, but you don't, you just have to trust the cards and trust that like what you're being shown is what you need to hear. Um, and so a lot of what I've learned with intuition is like if anything feels significant, it is. If anything catches your eye, it's meant to be. And so as Miranda and I were getting ready, I was like, okay, wait, talking about affirmations. Obviously, I need to have my books by Louise Hay present. She's the queen of affirmations. We will talk about her. Um, so you know, I got up and got a couple of her books, and then my eye caught my sage spray. And I haven't saged my energy like in this room or anything in a little while. So I just kind of used that as also a grounding tool. So okay.
SPEAKER_00So if you're good with this, that was perfect. Like that's exactly what they needed to hear, right? Yeah, I needed to hear that of like what to imagine, what to do. But I would like to do this real time. So whether you're driving or whether you're listening, like if you're allowed to close your eyes, if you can close your eyes, like please, if you're driving, please do not close your eyes. But if you're sitting in a space, just like close your eyes for a second and take a deep breath with us together.
SPEAKER_02You ready? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. We're gonna go in through the nose, holding one, two, three, and breathing out. One, two, three. We're gonna do this one more time, breathing in, filling all the way up past where you think you can fill up all the way, all the way, and holding one, two, three, four, breathing out of the mouth. One, two, three, four. Now, if you're able to keep your eyes still closed, we're gonna imagine that wall of fire, like Emily talked about. For me, it's water. Whatever comes to your mind, allow it to be. And also feel that sinking into the ground feeling, that anchor for Emily. It's that really strong anchoring into the into the ground. For me, it's roots. I feel the roots connecting down and and I envision them going down deep into the earth, almost lighting up that red, like that root chakra.
SPEAKER_02That was so good.
SPEAKER_01I feel so much better.
SPEAKER_00Good.
SPEAKER_01It only takes like two seconds to do that.
SPEAKER_00It takes two seconds, and this is like I could go on a s my soap opera. Like, um, what is that called? Like a soapbox? Is that soap? Yes, yeah. I almost said like soap opera. I could talk about nervous system regulation until I'm blue in the face. Like it's truly changed the way my body physically looks, like the way I feel, the way I like look out into the world and show up. Like there's so much science behind it. And also, there is so much science behind affirmations and limiting beliefs.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because I really needed, and this is why we started the podcast, I really needed to merge both because I believe in both. I believe in like calling in the things that you want, I believe in manifesting the things that you want, I believe in um quantum physics and all of those things, right? Like, and then I also believe in how our brain is wired. So affirmations, I'm just gonna go on a little tangent before we um pull some cards because I really think you should. Um affirmations within our body, what these are are like phrases or terms that we repeat, and why we're doing that in our brain is because our brain has a thing called myelination. Right? Um and when we're little, we're we're told these things. When we're told um that money doesn't grow on trees, that you can't trust anyone, that the universe is against you. Um what are some other things that you were taught, Emily?
SPEAKER_01The money doesn't go grow on trees when it sticks out. Um, but you know, you can't have everything you want. You can't, you know, it isn't always gonna work that way. Life isn't fair, like, you know, all those kinds of things.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Those things are taught at a young age. Like we pick them, and not even if they're spoken to not if if even if they're not spoken like straight up to you, like you're an intuitive being from the get-go, from age zero. Yeah, right. And we learn from our environment. And if those things are being said around you, um like the next time that you are around family members or friends or in a big public space space, think about and and be curious and like really notice how people are talking about their body. Yes. Dude, it's it's insane. And ever since I have a niece that's five, and she has like changed my life, like truly changed my life and the way that I show up in the world. Because I didn't think that, and I was actively look working on my body image, like truly. I have been doing that for a very long time. That's something that I've really, really, really struggled with is body dysmorphia. Like, truly. Um and I thought that if I could really fix the way that I speak about my body, the way that I think about my body, the way that I the phrases that I use through affirmations and healing limiting beliefs, that I could protect her from all of that noise. Right. But that's not necessarily true. And I'm and I'm like really becoming awake to the amount of noise that's around us, which is why nervous system regulation is so important and also affirmation. So if I go back to um the scientific part, neuroplasticity, when our brain is developing, right, um, it creates these neuropathways. And the more that we think a thought, the more it gets myelinated, which means that it gets like wrapped in this like fatty tissue almost. Why is this important? Because it that space between the thought and the feeling collapses, that time collapses. Am I am I making sense?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So like the more that we use the neural pathway, the stronger it's going to become.
SPEAKER_00The stronger it's going to become and the truer it's going to feel. So there are things and beliefs in your body that feel really true and that are core things for how you understand the world.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That might not necessarily be true.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00For example, for me, I truly thought that my body was like the grossest thing you could ever, you could ever see. Right. I tr I've thought that my whole life. I thought that my legs were terrible. I thought that and women, we all have those things, right? Like it is ingrained in us. It's shown up everywhere. It's blasted everywhere. Like that is something that is really, really shown in our face and shoved in our face constantly. Um that was something that I learned really, real at a really young age because the people around me were talking about their body like that. So I learned and my body developed and created these neural pathways that that had to be true about my body as well. And that's how we spoke about our body.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Exactly.
SPEAKER_00The thing about affirmations that I truly believe in is this neuroplasticity plasticity part where you can go through, it's called synaptic pruning. That's the actual scientific term in your brain, where you can create different neural pathways to think differently. It's extremely hard. Like it is, I don't subscribe to the like life coaches that say that this is like ease and it comes at ease. It comes with ease. It's so easy. Like that's such bullshit. It's it's such bullshit.
SPEAKER_01But it's also the thought of like, you know, well, if you say it's gonna be hard, it's gonna be hard. You know, it's kind of like, do you know what I mean by that? Like, yeah. Um, you know, sometimes we make things harder than they actually are because we believe that we don't deserve them, right? So, like, that's another limiting belief or a story that we tell ourselves, right? Is like, it has to be hard for me to make money. Like, I'm not saying that it's easy, but I think that it's like, how do we um, you know, it's it's rewiring the brain. It's not easy. It's not easy work, right?
SPEAKER_00That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But that still feels true to you. Like the limiting belief. And limiting beliefs, I'm sorry, we didn't even go into that, but limiting beliefs are things that are literally limiting you. There are beliefs and thoughts about the world that you can't do something or you shouldn't do something, or that's not possible for you. Um, there are things that feel bad in your body that make you feel discouraged. And um yeah, that's the only word that's coming up for me is like discouraged and well, like the same thing.
SPEAKER_01Well, like, did it feel good for you to hate your body?
SPEAKER_00No, it felt terrible. I felt awful about my body constantly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right? Like that was a limiting belief, but it felt so true. It felt so true. And it still feels true sometimes, yeah. Even with this even the amount of time I've put into um rewiring my brain. I think it's like going to be a continuous journey. Right. And synaptic pruning, if I go back, that is when the connection between your neural pathways can be severed. Right? It can, it absolutely can. And you can do that by choosing a different thought. And that part, the feeling part, like the having the thought and the actual feeling of feeling like it's true, that part I don't believe is easy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's repetition, that's repetition, that's choice. And that's self-determination, that's self. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think a lot of affirmations, like talking about positive affirmations, I think a lot of it, um, also just going back, I know it wasn't fun for you or isn't fun for you to hate your body. But I think that that's uh what I was thinking of is like this podcast episode that I listened to um by, I think she's your manifesting bestie. Um, and she has this episode, which I'll put in the notes about um how our emotions are our GPS. And if we're feeling bad, if we're feeling sad, frustrated, angry, that's you know, an indication of like we need to go a separate way or think something different or like do something different, right? And so like that's not always true across the map, but I think that, you know, like it hasn't felt good or comfortable or exciting or enjoyable to hate your body. And so then how do we change that story from I have to hate my body, I have to hate and every single piece of it and pick it all apart and like, you know, just ignore every positive thing anyone's ever said about my body or any, you know, any compliment that I receive, right? Like it's it's you know, when I look at it now, like I'm kind of like it's a choice. It's a choice to not receive positive information from other people. And for, you know, for us to not accept compliments, it's a choice. And for us to like choose to believe these certain things about ourselves and keep these stories going, right? Like once we are aware that like we can contribute or to like believe continuing to believe a story, or we can try to change that story. I feel like there's so much power there.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And that's why the science piece is like so important to me because I couldn't understand. I thought there there was something missing with inside myself. Like I thought there was something that I didn't have that other people did because I thought so many bad things about myself, right? So the science behind how my brain actually works and that it is a choice, and that you get to make different choices about how you think, how you speak, how you show up, who you surround yourself with.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And the the way that you have that control over your own thoughts and brain was really, really like it just like made a solid idea, it formed a solid idea. Does that make sense? Like, yeah. It was so concrete. It was so concrete. And then that opened up the door to okay, now what do I want to call in?
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01Is it a choice for me to not live like this anymore? And like, what can I do? Yeah, like oh my god, I didn't even know it was an option that I could possibly change this thought pattern. Right. Like you thought you were stuck and locked in that box forever. And I thought it was, yeah. And the people around you also were like, we've been stuck and locked in this box, this box for you know, how many years? Like, you're not getting out either. Like, you're just stuck with it, just like we are, right?
SPEAKER_00And it's so normalized. It's like so normalized to talk negatively about your body, about the money that you make, about the world in general. And for sure, like the world is messed up right now. Like, for sure, there are certain things in our reality that we can't ignore.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But the thoughts the thoughts about what we can control have gotten so convoluted. Um I just don't think that we're taught that piece.
SPEAKER_01That we have any control.
SPEAKER_00That we have any control.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're not.
SPEAKER_00Right. I think it's because the saying it is what it is keeps coming up in my brain. How many times a day do you hear that? It is what it is. It is what it is.
SPEAKER_01Or we all become our parents. Yeah, right? Like, oh, the pattern continues. Right. Yeah. The apple doesn't fall fall far from the tree. Like all of those like sayings that it's like, well, life isn't fair. Well, just you're stuck with it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like there's okay, so for me, like thinking about positive affirmations, like, um, and I think that like it's it's a journey, it's a it's a process, right? Like, we have to incorporate these new, you know, look at our beliefs initially, right? Like, what do I believe about myself? What do I believe about my body? What are the stories that I'm telling myself about my body? Am I telling myself that, oh, like, you know, I look at pasta and I gain 10 pounds? Or am I telling my body like, oh, like you're not allowed to eat sweet treats? And then when I eat a sweet treat, my body freaks out because I've been telling my body this story over and over and over again. Um, so I just, you know, we want to start with looking at what are the beliefs that I currently believe to be true about my life, about myself. Not what do I want, not what do I hope for, not what do I work towards, but what am I saying? Right. Because we have, what is it? Like, how many like millions of thoughts do we have a day? There's like a statistic out there that's like they tracked like some study, I have no idea, but like they tracked like how many thoughts we have a day, right? And it's like 99% of those thoughts are negative, right? Like when I'm talking to my clients in session, I'm like, what's what's like when's the last time you said something nice to yourself? What was the, you know, something good that you did over the course of the week? Like, what is something that you actually like about yourself? And people are like, oh my God, I never even considered that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, we're not thinking positively. We're not thinking about like, oh my God, look at all these awesome things that I did. We're thinking like, oh fuck, I only went for a two-mile run today. I'm such a loser. I should have done three. Like, why couldn't I have pushed it? Like, I was supposed to go out for three, but I only did two. Like, that's so lame. Like, my body hates me, like all of these things, right? Like, there's this negative spiral that happens to us so fast. And I think a lot of it, you know, going, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy, like say what you want about it. But when we look at the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy, it is how our thoughts, our emotions, and our behaviors interact with one another, right? And so if we have it can, you know, it's a the CBT triangle is, you know, this triangle that has on one point is thoughts, one point is behavior, one point is emotion. So just kind of talking about how our our thoughts, you know, they interact with our behaviors and our emotions. You have a thought, you feel like shit, you go and eat a, you know, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, right? So that cycle continues until we can pay attention to it and say, hold on. I just had a thought that made me feel like shit. Okay, wait, I feel like shit. What do I do when I feel like shit? Like, what can I do that's a positive thing that's actually gonna help me rather than something that's gonna make me feel worse about myself, right? Or it goes the other way where we have a behavior of like, you know, I avoided my feelings, so now I'm eating a pint of button jerry's. That sucks. And I feel like awful about myself now, right? So you have the behavior, then the thought, right? And so it's like all of these things interact, you know, in any way. Um, you know, it doesn't matter which one starts it. It could be the behavior or the thought or the emotion. Um, but you know, I think a lot of it for me on this journey of like figuring out what do I believe, what are my positive affirmations that actually like keep me feeling safe. Um it's less about like fully embodying them sometimes and more about the repetition and reminding myself, like, oh, I have choice here, right? Like, I have an option here where I can stop talking shit about myself. I can recognise, I have to recognize it first, right? That's number one. We have to recognize it. Then we have to say, stop, hold on one fucking second, please.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then think like, do I really want to be thinking these negative thoughts about myself, or can I switch to something else? Or can I distract myself for a little bit so that I'm not continuing that negative spiral, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um it's a work in progress and it's something that like we have to do so many times a day. So many times. We're thinking constantly, right? Or we're talking constantly, or we're, you know, looking at social media and comparing ourselves, or you know, sitting hanging with our friends and comparing ourselves to them, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think um the conscious piece, like we are so so unaware of how like how many thoughts we're having during a day, the day, and what are those thoughts? We just are like almost on autopilot, just like going throughout our day and allowing it to be bad. Yeah. Like a bad day. And don't get me wrong, like I have bad days. I have bad days all the time, right? And I think the misconception with affirmations and with the manifestation world, right, is that when you start to repeat these things, you're just immediately gonna feel better and you're immediately going to think them and believe them, and it's going to work for you.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. Uh but I don't necessarily think that good or bad thoughts ever stop. Right. Like I because we're noticing things and we're we're feeling them in our body. And our job, I think the one of the hardest pieces in this whole cycle is to become conscious of your thoughts. Because it can be exhausting. It can be exhausting examining every single thought that goes into your head. And that's what it feels like at the beginning when you're trying to rewire your brain and trying to rewire your thoughts. And it feels like it almost feels like you're taking a back step of like, oh, here's one more thing that I'm doing wrong. See, I thought another thought. I thought another bad thought. I thought another bad thought. Yeah. It's it's like it's in the beginning, it's so it's so difficult.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's so it was for me. And that might not be true for other people, but um, I really needed support. And that's why I hired a coach to be like, these are the thoughts that are coming into my brain. And it felt like I was being weighted down by the amount of things that I was now conscious to that I was doing quote unquote wrong.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. How how did your coach help you? Like, what did she do that was actually supportive of walking you through that process?
SPEAKER_00Um, it was a really honestly, it's just a really good outlet to have somebody to say the thing that you're thinking out loud.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right. Um, and this is what I do with my clients. I have Voxer, which is just an app where you do voice recordings or texting. Um, and they can do, they can reach me whenever I have boundaries around when I answer, but um, they are allowed to dump that into a place where we can then work through. Right. So for me, it was so helpful to say, I just had this thought about my body, about money, about this thing, whatever, whatever of my relationship that is really affected me emotionally. My emotions run really strong, and that is a really good indicator. My body is so clear through my emotions, like so clear. I don't know, I don't always want to feel them. Sometimes I want to be like, can like can we just numb out? Can I just disassociate? I'm really good at emotionally repressing. But once I turned that switch on, it was like an overflow, like an overflow of emotions. So just being able to have a space where I was able to say I had this thought, it created a really big feeling. Here are my thoughts on my thought, on my initial thought. Yeah um was so invaluable to me. Was so invaluable to me. Also, when I started to like really examine the people that I was surrounding myself with, um friends, mentors, like uh work co-workers, um, and listening to their and being curious and listening to their their scripts. There's their yeah, their scripts, how they were talking about their bodies, how they were talking about their day, how they felt about anything really. Um I needed while I was reworking my brain, I needed someone that was living the life that I desired. Yes, because it was evidence, dude. It was evidence that it could be different.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And in that that helped me create like this sounds so mushy, dude, but like hope. I love that. Like, like truly, like that is so so empowering and so powerful to like just have hope that like this is this worked for this person. Right. This worked for this person and that this can work for me. Yeah. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And it has, I mean, it's changed your life, right? Just even like being aware of what you're saying, what you're thinking, what you're feeling, right? Like you feel like it's totally just transformed you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I do. It didn't feel like that for a while, right? Um, and this is where kind of like affirmations kind of get a bad name. And there is like some cons that we could definitely get into. Um, but it didn't feel that immediate relief.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, even now it's so funny. I like have this poster in my bathroom so that when I'm brushing my teeth in the morning and at night, I can read it. And um, I have like a a little baby bit of a tendency to get like kind of depressy sometimes, like like not fully depressed, like you know, still functioning and whatever. But like I think I'm just like, um, what's the point of life vibes? And like when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, dude, what am I waking up for sometimes? You know, like I know it sounds kind of dark, but that's just like how I think I've felt like my whole life, honestly. Like, just like, what is the point of this, guys? Like, I don't fucking get it. Like, I just like really have not understood, like, you know, I feel like my whole life, like the reason I became a therapist, the reason I became an astrologer, like why I've been interested in, you know, all of these different forms of healing is because I'm like, what am I doing here? Like, will someone please just like call me and get tell me like what the fuck is the point of working so hard and like you know, not like getting everything that you want, and like, you know, just like whatever. Okay, so that's a tangent, but um that's I mean, there's a script, right? Like something that I'm telling myself, like, oh, you you know, you have to work really hard and never get what you want. Um, and okay, so going back to the bathroom. Yep. Okay, so in my bathroom, I have this um poster that is a list of positive affirmations. And the first one, dude, is I'm excited about today. And, you know, I like roll out of bed and I'm like, I get into the bathroom every day and I brush my teeth and I look at the thing and I roll my eyes and I say, Oh my God, I am excited about today. I am well, I am happy, I am healthy, I am successful, I am, and I just because it's like that repetition. I need to think it, I need to say it out loud, I need to say it in my head. You know, I can't say it out loud when I'm brushing my teeth, but I have to say it, right? And like it's so funny because like on the days where I'm excited about today, I'm actually, it feels good reading it. And on the days where I'm not, it feels like um rolling my eyes at it. But I think that that's okay. It's kind of like, you know, life, you know, consistency routine, it's not about being motivated, it's about being disciplined, that whole thing, right? So I feel like that's been really helpful for me. Um, and some days I just totally ignore it and I don't do it, you know, and that's okay too. But I think that um it's definitely not easy, but it has allowed me um to have something to fall back on, you know, to have like, okay, I'm starting to think really negatively, let me switch it up for a bit. And like, it doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the shitty things that are happening or the bad feelings or, you know, whatever's going on, but it it does mean that we don't fixate on them and we don't make that the entire thing that we're thinking about all day long. Um, and you know, like my favorite quote, like I think maybe ever, is from Carl Jung. And he said, Um, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Yep, I love that one too. So good. Right. So good.
SPEAKER_01It's until we really understand what's going on, until we can like dig up all of our shit and like look at what are these patterns? Like, are these examining them, right? What are these patterns patterns I want to have in my life? Are these thought patterns thought patterns I want to have in my life? Like, you know, all of these things that we believe, these stories that we tell ourselves about our past, about our future, about our present, those things direct our life. And if we're not looking at them, then like we're just gonna continue down, you know, the path that maybe we don't even want to be on, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's so powerful. It's just like thoughts compound in your in your head and it they will run ragged, you know? And I, you know, I just am so and I use the word exhausted a lot, but like I cause exhaustion in myself a lot by resisting, by resisting, by not allowing, by uh not receiving. I fucking so tired all the time. I just I don't know why I do that. We're working on it, we can get real deep in here, but um I am exhausted by the amount of people telling me and other people how to think or what to do about it, or I just and I know that sounds bad because I'm I'm talking about affirmations and telling you guys how to think, but um I you know it's kind of like this sounds so weird, but it's kind of like meditation. I just I don't know if our if we ever stop the thoughts. I don't I don't know if we ever stop the thoughts. It's more like for me, it's more like can we let them go quicker?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Can we like put our gaze on it faster? Can we think a different thought like in a stronger way? I don't know. Um because when I and I'm not gonna lie to you, like it worked, but when I started this, right, like that was the exhaustion piece was okay, here's another thought, and here's another thought, and here's another thought, and here's another thought. And when you go back to the sticky notes, like that is such a good way to do it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's such a good way to do it because it's in your face and it's around and it sounds so stupid. It sounds so stupid to put affirmations on a sticky note and put them on your mirror in your car. I mean, like, it sounds so dumb.
SPEAKER_01And then people come over to your house and you're like, okay, why do you have that there?
SPEAKER_00Like it's it is like it's so like crazy. Yeah. I would rather I would rather try to be focused and yeah, try to change the way that I'm thinking than just be that unconscious, in unconscious misery that I was.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, me too. I'm like, I don't even care how it looks anymore. I mean, I definitely do, you know, um, which is why I have my affirmations framed on my wall rather than.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, you um deeply care about how your mouth looks.
SPEAKER_01But I no, but it's like not even not that. I definitely do, but like I I'm like okay with like being exposed in some ways and like being a little crazy and like being a little delusional or like fully dil what other people would think what what the past Emily Callaghan would think is fully delusional. Like I'm okay with that now, like being um open to manifestation and the spiritual realm, like all these things that I believe in now because it has helped me so much to not be such a miserable fucking bitch, dude. Yeah, yeah. I was a miserable too. And like people didn't know. I mean, you knew, but like other people didn't really know, right? Because like I like post on Instagram and like you know, I'm smiling and like everything is good and well, but like people don't know what goes on in my mind, right? And like I think it's so easy for us to judge each other, and like I do it all the time. I'm like, oh my god, like her life must be awesome, right? Like, she must have like no problems, and like what a misconception that is. Right. Um, but I think that like I'm I'm just rem being reminded of one time I was um at the gas station and I was like listening to affirmations and saying them out loud as I'm like pumping my gas and I'm like sitting in the car. So I'm like pumping my gas and like playing these affirmations out loud and like saying them out loud, and then I like didn't realize that there was a guy right next to me that couldn't hear me. And I was just like, okay, that's a little embarrassing. Um, but I think I used to judge myself, dude. Like that's what I mean that I've kind of let go of a little bit is like I used to be like, this is stupid, it's never gonna work. Like, why are you doing this? Um, and I've been able to let go of judging myself when it comes to like saying positive things about myself or just like changing my thought patterns, right? And like also being focused on the fact that like I am my own parent now, right? Like we when we get older and we are adults and we like, you know, are you know, thankfully my parents are still here, but like I'm the one in charge of me. And so that means that I have to check myself and that means I have to be honest with myself and like do things that I don't really want to do, right? And so I think like allowing myself to kind of step into the parent role for myself in some ways has been interesting because I get to kind of like reparent myself in a way that feels like it works for me, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yeah. The phrase um like mother yourself sounds like so hippie dippy woo-hoo, but it's like it was so important for me to figure that piece out, right? Because you can feel guilt and shame for choosing a different way or choosing a different path or um doing things differently than the people around you. Yeah, you can feel that and you can feel like you're doing something wrong and that you're still 13 years old asking for for permission to go out at night. Yeah, you know. Um and also with checking yourself, like every thought that came into my brain, I made mean something about myself. Oh every single thought, and that's where the exhaustion came from, and that's also where the mothering myself had to come in. Wow. Had to come in. Like every single negative thought meant that I was doing if I noticed it because I was on the oxygen healing, I thought that I okay, I was doing it wrong, I'm doing it wrong, I'm doing it wrong, I'm doing it wrong. And that made me feel even worse, right? And the mothering myself, right, that's like the little kid inside me looking for validation and thinking that like something that I'm doing could cause like punishment or make me unsafe or um make me feel shame. Like I was, I was shameful of myself, like truly, with even with the littlest tiny like negative thought that came into my brain. And I really had to learn to be like love that side of myself to allow negative thoughts to come in and not make it mean anything. That doesn't mean that it's true. It just means I had a fucking thought. Yeah, that's it. Like, that is it. Your brain just had a thought. It doesn't mean it's true, doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong, and I still get to choose a different way and say different words.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I get that way with um having a bad day or like a bad week, dude. Like I'm like, if I have a bad day, I'm like, oh no, like sound the alarm. Like this is scary, this is terrible, like my life sucks. I hate everybody, everybody hates me. Like, oh my God, I must be the worst person that's ever existed. Like, I hear all these things that I can't stand about myself. And it's like this really fast spiral. And then that's when I'm calling you. Like, dude, what am I doing wrong? Like, why do I why can't I get out of this like thought spiral? And I think learning that it's not, it doesn't mean something about me as a person. These are thoughts that I'm having, right? Like you're saying, like being able to be like, okay, this is just a bad day. This doesn't mean that like my career needs to like, you know, I need to implode my career and like that my, you know, relationship or my friendship or whatever, it doesn't mean that like things need to be set on fire. That's what I did a lot of was I would feel uncomfortable for a second, and I would feel out of control for a second, and I would feel like I was having a bad day or a bad week. And then I would like blow everything up and I'd be like, okay, on to the next. Um, we need to start fresh. And it's just like I'm I've learned over the years, like that's just like a ride the wave moment. Like, that's part of being alive. That's part of being a human and feeling all these emotions in this human experience. And that doesn't need to say anything bad about who I am as a person. Because tomorrow I'm gonna get a fucking Italian and I'm gonna go on the lake and I'm gonna have the best day of my life.
SPEAKER_00An Italian sandwich or an Italian boy? Oh, well, maybe mom.
SPEAKER_01I was talking about an Italian sandwich, like someone Colamato's and like get me to the lake, and like, oh my god, maybe life is worth living. Right. Right. Yeah. And so it's like allowing for those two extremes to exist together and letting them both be okay.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right. It's the same, it's like it's the same with this is me going into like body image stuff, but it's the same with like feeding your body healthy things. Right. For me, I fuel my body, and that's like so important to me. But also, if I want a fucking piece of cake, it doesn't mean that I am like the worst person in the world, and I have just cheated my body, and now my body's gonna hate me and I have to like starve myself the next day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00No, no, that means that like my body wanted that, and I get to have that, and I still get to continuously go on my journey of feeding my body good things. I get to wake up and have an egg white alma the next day, and you know, a week from there, I get to I will eat a whole pizza. Like, who cares? Who cares? Right? And the bad day thing, like, dude, I just like going back to like our body telling us like that is how our body communicates to us is through emotions, through physical pain, through um yeah, the strongest one being emotions for me, right? When I'm having a bad day, I used to think that it was because my life sucked. Yeah. My life sucked and I suck, and um this is just how it is. It is how it is, this is how life is. This is life sucks sometimes, right? But now through rewiring and using affirmations that were hard to believe in at the first get-go. Um, now I have a bad day and I say, okay, did my body just need some fucking rest?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Is my body trying to tell me that I need to slow down?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like instead of it meaning something about me personally and how I'm doing in life, like what is my body actually trying to tell me though? What am I not feeding it? Am I am I not feeding it enough? Am I am I not sleeping enough?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Do I just need to allow myself to veg on the couch for a second because I haven't done that? My brain needs some like non-stimulation. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Dude, that's so good. That's um, like my life coach that I was working with for a long time, Jen Bailey. Love her. She's a psychic, medium, intuitive, and life coach. She's a previous therapist. We're gonna have her on the podcast at some point. But um, I mean, what you know, basic, basic, basic stuff that she would always bring me back to. Like, whenever you're feeling dysregulated, overwhelmed, emotional, like what do you need? Do you need a snack? Do you need to go outside and take a deep breath and like have fresh air? Do you need to play for a moment and just like let go of everything? Like, do you need rest? Right. And like allowing ourselves to not get so dysregulated through just those basic, basic things. And like it sounds so elementary, like it really feels so stupid. But it has like it been life-changing for me to just be like, let me take a deep breath and ask myself, what do I need in this moment? And then when I step away, I'm more productive because I actually get to take care of my body and my mind and my overall well-being.
SPEAKER_00I, for the past year, I swear to God, I swear to God, and I know this, like, I know this like the back of my fucking hand. Like, I know this, that just taking a breath is so powerful. Yeah. It's so powerful for regulating your nervous system to be able to think in a different way, right? Because that's you need to be able to regulate your nervous system in order to receive any type of like solution. You can't do it when you're dysregulated or when you're really indented in emotions. You can't. That's why you need support and you need therapy, and that's why it's so valuable to have somebody in your corner where you can work through heavy and dense emotions with. Um, but for the past year, right, any time that I sit in like social work classes and they're like, we need to do breath work. I swear to God, I roll my eyes every single time. I'm like, what the fuck? We know this. Like, why are we doing this? It's so stupid. But then I'm like, why is that my reaction?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because it's so power, and I know that I need to be doing that. And I have not done it in like about a year.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_00Because I just my first reaction is that it's so elementary and it's so dumb. And I I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Yeah. That's the ego part, and that's like something that we can like I can recognize and then change about me. Because it's not my truth, but that's my first reaction.
SPEAKER_01Well, and it's the same vibe with um the positive affirmations, right? Like, oh, that's stupid. Like to look in the mirror and say, Oh, I'm gonna be a millionaire or whatever, right? And like there is some research I believe that I've seen coming out about positive affirmations and just changing your thought patterns in general. That like if you don't believe it and you feel completely detached from it and you can't embody it, like then maybe it's not super beneficial, right?
SPEAKER_00And like that will dysregulate your nervous system, right? Is research around that. And I do believe that.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So wait, we need to talk about the cons of this as well. And like, I but I do want to jump back to Louise Hay really quick. So um, you know, so funny. So, like Louise Hay, just looking at her book, You Can Heal Your Life, on the back of it, it says Louise Hay was an inspirational teacher, incredible visionary, and self-help pioneer who educated millions for over 30 years. She helped people discover their full potential and personal growth for self-healing. Um, and so this is like I said, You Can Heal Your Life. She's got a lot of other books. Over 50 million copies of You Can Heal Your Life were sold. Like that is absolutely insane and just speaks to like the need for people to heal throughout their lives and like throughout their lives. And this is all about positive thought patterns, how we change our thoughts, how we relate to our thoughts, and what our thoughts do to us over a long period of time. So I just want to talk about this first because I feel like this book was um one of the most important books of my entire journey so far in like growing spiritually and like just being who I am and allowing um, you know, the spiritual world to kind of like enter my life in a different way. Um, because like I had said previously, like I was um like kind of Christian, like not really sure what I believed in. Um, and then like the episcopal priests, grandparents, right? Like huge influence there. And like um, this was the first time that I was like, okay, what are all these psychics and mediums that I know talking about? And like, what do they believe and what does this one believe in? Kind of like exploring that realm of spiritual world. Um, and so so funny. Like, Miranda has been, we've talked about this, but she's been on this journey, like, you know, quite a bit longer than I have. And um, I remember the day that I texted you and was like, dude, this book just changed my life. Have you read this? Do you know about this? And you were like, pulled my coffee off the shelf. Yeah, you're like, I am like a veteran when it comes to Louise Hay. Like, don't even act like I don't know who this woman is. Like, holy shit. Um, but this book was so life-changing for me. And like, I've worked with some of my clients on helping them to explore um, you know, their like challenges and the thought patterns that continue those challenges. And so Louise Hay, um, you know, she talks about basically in this book, she walks you through like what her 10 sessions looked like when she worked with a client. Um, and so starting off with like repeating the phrase, I am willing to change, over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And um, you know, a lot of it has to do with like vibrations and stuff like that, the vibrations that belong with words. And um, we'll probably go into that at some point in the future. But um, so she talks about um, you know, these little things of like looking in the mirror at yourself every morning and saying, I love you. I love you, Emily Callahan, right? And like just doing those practices, right? And a lot of people, she says in her book, a lot of people could not um even go there because that felt too vulnerable, right? Yeah, like so anyway, she talks about walking you through, then she shares about, and a lot of it is about positive thoughts and how we are just like changing our thought patterns from super negative to more neutral, more positive. And um, in the middle of the book or towards the end, she has a whole um like spreadsheet of here is the problem, and then here is the probable cause for said problem. And here's the new thought pattern that you can change to in order to release yourself of that problem. Um, and so then at the end of the book, she shares about how she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and um saved herself from dying from that illness through changing her thought patterns. Just insane. Insane, right? Um, so totally recommend reading this book because this is just the teeny tiny bit that we're sharing about it, and there's so much more to it to like fully understand like how do our thought patterns actually create um physical ailments? Like, how do they, you know, you know, cancer if she believes comes from certain thought patterns that we hold throughout our lives and are instilled in us, and we think over and over and over again, right? And that we never change, right? Um, anything that you want to share on this book, Miranda?
SPEAKER_00Um, this book is was the beginning and also turning point for me to figure out how my body was speaking to me and in what ways and where energy was stored or where trauma was stored and what um physical ailments what what that meant. Um for me, and I'll give you guys a little bit um I've I've said that I'm gonna give you all of me and I have no um closed off on this podcast and I'll tell you for me um I had a pretty terrible sexual trauma when I was younger um going into my college years. And that created a really disconnect, and this is kind of where everything started, a really disconnect with my body. I completely disconnected. Um and I've since gone to therapy and healed, and this is why I'm doing what I do, and this is why I'm so invested in women and our bodies and our intuition and everything about it. Um, but for me I had a pain in specifically in my vagina, like totally, I'll tell you. Um, and it was I went to doctors, I went to specialists, um, and it would just happen where I'd fall on the floor in such pain. Um, and they couldn't figure out why. They I did everything that I could, I took medicine, I saw I saw specialists, I did literally everything that I could until I started going to therapy. And until I read this book and I realized that a lot of energy was stored in my body was trying to tell me like I needed to work through some really heavy things. Um and once I did that, everything stopped. Really? Everything? Everything.
SPEAKER_02Everything's like literally everything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, and I was actually just talking to a physical therapist um this in this area who has said the same thing. Sometimes he sees patients with chronic pain. And when there's no other medical explanation, he refers out to mental health therapists because there's something that the body is holding on to that you need to work through. Um it was insane. It was craziness. And I actually couldn't even like, and I I know that you know this, Em, but I'll tell everybody I couldn't orgasm um for a very long time at all. Um and I also read another book that we can mention later on when we talk about sexuality and all of those things, because I love talking about it, um, that helped that as well. But it was very much like my body was holding on to energy, right? Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01So in the back of the book, um, Louise Hetty like gives a bunch of like certain things in about your body, like shoulder pain, um I I don't even know what like elbow pain, problems, anxiety, yeah, anorexia, right? Like the list goes on.
SPEAKER_00Right, right. And it will just tell you energetically what your body is trying to tell you. Now, some of those things resonated with me and some of them don't. And what I always tell clients is, especially, and this goes with affirmations, is um take the things that really feel in your body because that's your intuition talking to you. Take the things that feel good and feel true for you and leave the rest.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, I completely agree. Yeah, always take whatever feels like it's, you know, it it is validating for you or whatever and leave the rest. Like we don't, you know, we don't need to. Same thing with this book, right? Like there are some things in this book that are, you know, I've had some friends who've read this book and some clients, and they don't agree with certain things, and that's totally fine, but that doesn't mean that there's not a lot of gold in this book, even if you don't agree with those certain things, right? Right. And so something like just to give an example of these things that she has in the back of the book, the problem of depression, she says the probable cause is anger you feel like you don't have the right to have or hopelessness. And like I feel like that is so real for you know, a lot of my clients who have experienced depression. It's like this repressed anger, like this constant, you know, being let down, being frustrated, or whatever it is that then leads them to depression. Um, and the new thought pattern to go with that to change your mind to is I now go beyond other people's fears and limitations. I create my life. So good. That's so powerful.
SPEAKER_00So with affirmations, like I I used Louise Hayes' book to pick which affirmation affirmations really felt and resonated with me. Um and then I also created things and created my own that felt more personal, um, which you absolutely can do. And there are millions and millions of books about affirmations, so please um go on and read, look it up, honestly, and just like allow yourself to be curious about what resonates with you and what does not. Um, and then also speaking on Emily's point, I I have a bunch of book recommendations where like they talked about manifestation, they talk about your body, they talk about your orgasms, they talk about um your reproductive system, they talk about literally everything. And sometimes they use the phrase God. And for me, that does not resonate. And I my body has like a visceral reaction. I will like literally just like like whatever. Um, I was raised Catholic, I don't, it was I don't subscribe to guilt and shame, but I do believe in a higher power and I do believe in the universe and I do believe in connection, right? And that wording feels really good for me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's really, really good for me. And they're all interchangeable, and I know that we've talked about that before, but just when you go into this world and start this journey, don't let that wording like turn you away from it.
SPEAKER_01Right. And you don't have to believe everything either. Like, I think that that's the best thing that's been helpful for me is like to just continue to be curious, right? Like, oh, that's interesting. I wonder why she believes that. Okay, move along and like see what else you can pull out of whatever book resource, you know, video it is.
SPEAKER_00Um, this is also where like the cons and affirmation come comes from for me. Yeah, because it's the wording, right? The I am a millionaire affirmation does not resonate with me because my reality is I'm stressed out about money. Right? That's my reality, and that is like what's happening, what's happening right now. Yeah. So my brain can't jump, and my nervous system can't jump to I'm a millionaire. I start to freak out and I start to dysregulate. But my brain can change that affirmation to I am open to receiving new ways of accepting and receiving abundance. I'm open to miracles, I'm open to new forms of income.
SPEAKER_01That's good.
SPEAKER_00Like that feels better to me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00In my brain, I can literally feel it in my body versus like I am a millionaire, my brain will be like, that's not true. That's not true. You're stressed out right now. Right. I think that that piece, that space, is where that research for affirmations is coming from. Is like your body can't jump from what's happening right now to that massive jump. That doesn't mean that I'm not gonna be a millionaire. I know eventually I will be. I know that maybe it could be tomorrow. I know that that could be true, but right now my body cannot regulate to that thought process. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know that definitely does make sense. And I I feel like that's so important for us to share because figuring out what feels good to you is really important, right? Because so many people, I mean, for for me, a lot of the um, I don't really align with a lot of the like um, I I don't know, like a lot of the life coaches who are out there who are just like, you know, everything is light and good and cute and fun and like, ooh, let's like, you know, like the whole millionaire thing, right? Um it just like doesn't feel real and like it doesn't feel authentic to me. And so finding my own way of like figuring out what does that authenticity look like for me, um, and how do I incorporate that is a big part of my own journey with um with using affirmations. Yeah. Um, and I think that like, you know, Louise Hayes' book is really, you know, her books are really helpful because it gives you the probable, the possible cause of whatever it is that you're struggling with, which then gives you time to also like reflect on is that something that I feel is a is a problem for me? Is that something that I feel like I actually struggle with? Um, and what are what am I saying? Right. So, like a good example of this that I wanted to share by myself um is, you know, and there's there's a lot more to the story, but like basically I was diagnosed with PCOS, um, which is an endocrine disorder, you know, like we lose our periods, we have lots of symptoms that are terrible, you gain a lot of weight, like just a lot of hormonal imbalances that I've had to deal with since I got off of birth control. So I was on birth control my entire life until about three years ago. The second that I got off of birth control, I did not get my period back. I lost my period for a you know, a number of months in a row. I wouldn't have a period for 90 days, like just constant like chaos and like my body just felt really dysregulated and disorganized and in and like having to spend so much money and time getting blood work done and going down all these different paths of like, what is going on and how do I fix this? And I was always like putting my um how do I fix this into someone else's hands and never really like figuring out what's the underlying cause for me. And so um just a you know, a little piece of this that made me really think about like what do I think about myself and like how is it contributing to my overall health was this book. And so um, for like amenorrhea, which is not having your period, um, the possible cause is not wanting to be a woman or the dislike of the self. And I was like, that kind of stopped me in my tracks and made me think about what are the things that I say out loud? Um, and you know, I constantly found myself saying, like, oh, isn't it nice to like not be a woman? Like, lucky you, you don't have to deal with all of these problems. You don't have to deal with all these, you know, uh hormonal issues. Like, you don't have to deal with gaining weight and not knowing why, even when you're eating perfectly and working out, you know, five days a week. Like, you know, I was I was constantly thinking, like, oh my God, it'd be so much easier if I were a dude. Like, life is better for them. Like, you know, and yeah, um, it's it's a little dramatic, but it's also like how I felt. Um, and I also have really struggled to step into my own femininity, like figuring out, okay, you don't have to push and like force things and make shit happen all the time. Like you can sit back and receive and relax and trust that things are gonna work out for you. That's been like a whole shift for me. Um, but the positive thought pattern to change to is I rejoice in who I am. I am beautiful, I'm a beautiful expression of life flowing perfectly at all times. Um, and so this is just like a little snippet that I wanted to share because um it allowed me to really like question my own thoughts and then change how I'm saying things and actually like figuring out how to be grateful that I am a woman and not a man. And how can I step into the power that comes with that and really like embody that for myself, which again has taken years and I'm still struggling with that in a lot of ways. Um, but it is helpful to just like have these thought patterns to focus on sometimes when I do find myself getting stuck in like the negatives of being a woman, for example.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. It's um there's so much power in being a woman, and there's also so many so many different challenges. Um, I mean, we still don't know, right? Like the woman's a woman's body is still quite a mystery. Um it seems like to to everyone, uh including ourselves. I was just talking about, I was just talking with a new mom um about breastfeeding, right? And she was like, and this is totally separate, but um kind of connected, she was like, There's so many different things that we need to do or that I should be doing for my body that might have worked for my body, but not might have worked for somebody else. There's so many different things that people are telling you to try.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And she's like, I just I'm I'm I'm learning the I'm learning this for the first time. My body's doing this for the first time. My baby is latching for the first time, and we don't really give ourselves enough grace or um space to learn what our body what our body's trying to tell us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, um and I don't know if that really connected, but it I was just like I was sitting with her and I was like, you are putting so much shame and so much guilt for not doing something right when you are literally trying it for the first time in your entire life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Good, I mean, good loop back to affirmations, right? Like, don't, you know, we don't need to put so much pressure on it. Just like let it flow and like let these start to pay more attention to what am I thinking? Yeah. Right. To all of our listeners. Like, hear yourself when you're saying things. Recognize, have I said anything nice about myself today? When I look in the mirror, do I say anything nice about myself or am I picking myself apart? Can I find something small that I like about myself today? Whether it's the color of my eyes or the shirt that I'm wearing, or like, you know, how my smile looks. Like it doesn't need to be something big, um, but allowing your brain to create new neural pathways of we say nice things to ourselves, right? That is pattern, that is repetition. Yep. And so the other thing that I just want to add about like negatives with um the positive affirmation stuff though, is um kind of like emotional or spiritual bypassing, which is um, you know, just the idea of like um like honestly, it's kind of like the pray it away thing, right? Like it's like let's not really acknowledge what's going on, let's not feel the feelings, let's just put a positive affirmation on it, let's just put a prayer on it, let's just put an intention on it, and then like let's leave it. Like, nope, like we still have to actually like do the journaling, go to therapy, talk it out with our friend, come to a new conclusion, process it through multiple times. Like there's more that goes on behind the scenes, right? And positive affirmations and changing the stories we tell ourselves. It's not all about just um allowing for new things to come in. It's like we are unlearning. We are unlearning all of these old things that we don't really want to relate to anymore. And so again, we got to make those, we got to make ourselves aware of that. And then we have to look at like, what do we want to do with this? And then figure out how can we actually incorporate new things or change things in our life so that we can work towards those new thought patterns. And so something to incorporate could be positive affirmations. It could be journaling out, this is what I want my life to look like, or it could be journaling like, wow, I feel really stuck today and I feel like shit, and all of my thoughts have been negative. And just letting that be rather than diving into it and spiraling on it, letting it be an outlet and letting it just exist in the world so that it's not just in your mind.
SPEAKER_00Right. Yeah. And that's why I preach about therapy or life coaches or someone that's in your corner that can hold you through those really big emotions that come with negative thoughts. Yeah. Um, is just so invaluable. Like so invaluable. Um, I always tell clients, and this might be helpful for people, when you're in that negative space and you want to start to change the way you're thinking, um is to breath work, right? Like you can breathe just like we did at the beginning of this podcast. But also, I always tell them to like scan the room for a second and look for something beautiful.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Sounds really stupid, right? But if you do it right now with me, like scan your room, fixate on something that you think like is really, really, really pretty that you've put in your environment. And it brings you some type of like joy, like, ooh, that's really pretty. Like that's so beautiful. Yeah. I love the way it looks over there. Right. Instantly your body has kind of like shifted, up leveled a little bit. Your nervous system, your has calmed, and you've created a different way for your body and your lens to see things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's really cool. And it's also a grounding technique.
SPEAKER_00It's also a grounding technique. Um and it opens your opens your mind up a little bit and gets you out of that like space. It doesn't fix everything. Like you were saying, like affirmations are a really powerful tool, but you can't bypass the deep work that comes with sorting out your shit. Yeah. This isn't a one and all, like this this is what's gonna fix you. Not that you need to be fixed, like that's another, that's another limiting belief. Like I'm broken. Right. I used to have that one really, really strong. Yeah. Um but like I'm also a very firm believer, like someone who's like extremely, I'm extremely busy. And if I add anything into my schedule, I will short circuit. I will not do it, I will drop it. I don't have any room for anything else because I am so booked. And that's just m the phase of my life right now, right? I'm working on balancing, I'm and I'm refusing to like add anything else in because I like my free space and I need it. My body needs it. So affirmations for like really highly highly motivated, high achieving women who are like stressed the fuck out. Use the sticky notes on your mirror, use the sticky notes on your on your um in your car. Like I also had an app that would like go off every, I don't know, three hours or so and give me an affirmation just right on my phone. Um Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I I I really go sometimes. I'm like, I have to be, um, like if I'm on a walk or something and I'm feeling terrible, like I'll just be like, okay, we gotta switch it up here. And so I'll go on to Spotify. And there's actually this woman, I don't even know how I found her, but um, her her podcast or whatever it is is called um Lavender Lifestyle. I'll link it um at the show notes. But she just kind of like reads through. It feels really cheesy, but she'll read through like, I am beautiful, and she'll do it twice, right? And then I have to do it as well after she does it each time. And so whether I'm like, you know, out in public, sometimes I'll say it out loud if I need feel like I really need the power of saying it out loud. But a lot of times I'll just repeat it in my head and just put that on instead of putting on um my audiobook that I'm not really gonna listen to because my mind is going too fast to be able to listen to anything. Like I'll just put on those um, you know, that podcast or, you know, her talking so that I can try to change my mindset. And even if it doesn't feel like it does anything, it's still priming your subconscious to be like, okay, this is something that we're thinking about. This is something that we want in our area, in our in our brain space. So that's really cool too. Putting more reminders, but the better.
SPEAKER_00Putting things into areas that you're already going to be in or you're already doing, like you already were going for a walk, right? How can you add that in? You're already gonna be brushing your teeth every morning, and if you're not, like you probably should be. Like put that sticky note on the mirror or um put it inside. Like if you have like a little medicine cabinet, don't want anybody else to see it, put it inside there. Um, if you're checking your Google Calendar every single day, because that's how you schedule your life, schedule an affirmation that pops up at 9 a.m. Um it doesn't have to be like a sit-down ritual, an hour-long affirmation journaling out. It doesn't have to be. Is that helpful sometimes? For sure. Yeah. For sure. Also, um, I know that we talked about limiting beliefs and like feelings, and that's how you can find your affirmations. But um, one of the things that I did and I to teach clients is okay, what do I feel? What is that feeling? What is the thought that's attached to that bad feeling, right? Write it out. That's your limiting belief, right? I have a bad feeling about my body. I believe that my body is ugly. I believe that my arms are too big. I believe that my job sucks. I believe that and all of these things like could feel true, like really, really true in your body, right? But take that negative limiting belief, okay, what do I want to be true? Right. And the space between is the one we were talking about with the cons, right? The space in between what do I want to be true? What is what feels true? Can you change that wording to feel even a little bit better? Because we're not looking for an immediate jump. That's not going to happen. Your body doesn't work like that. It doesn't, you can't get there from there. It's just a step up and a step up and then a little step up. It's a compounding in your body.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00If you expect your body to go from depressed on the couch to like dancing in the streets, that's where the shame comes in because you feel like you're doing something wrong. You have to love yourself up, like truly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I love that. Okay, that's a really good place to end. I feel like just that reminder of like we're just taking a step forward every day, like 1% better every day in some way. And it's really the like the repetition and the compound, you know, interests that were accruing within our our minds every single day of like, I'm gonna create this new habit. And that's great that like, you know, I get I get really like gung-ho about like creating a new habit, and then I don't follow through with it. So I have learned that like I have to do it in really, really small, easy to grab onto ways so that I can do it every day or every other day because I love the idea of structure and the I love the idea of sitting down for an hour and writing out my positive affirmations, but I do not do it. And so I think making it smaller is really helpful. So um, just before we go, I want to pull a card because I know I said I was going to. Do you have anything else you want to share while I'm shuffling or like no, I think I'm good. Okay. That was really good. That was so helpful. And hopefully people walk away with like a couple resources that they can grab onto or a couple of options, you know, and just remembering to breathe too throughout the day, taking a couple breaths. Okay, let's see here. Hold on.
SPEAKER_00My Oracle cards, um, and I can get them for you guys too. That is, I use Oracle cards instead of tarot cards, but um when I pull a card, they will it will tell me about your guidance and I can get whatever I need from it. But also in the book that they give you, there's an affirmation attached to the guidance in the card. Um, it's so amazing. I can get it for you guys.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so I'm gonna look at these cards with um the personal and spiritual growth portion of this book. Again, we're with Stephanie Capone and guided tarot tarot. Um, and let's see here, what do we have? We have an upright six of cups. So um, spending time with your children and connecting to your inner child will refresh you. Playful activity um and giving and receiving loving support will bring bring great harmony to your life. Consider spending time with old friends or friends who feel like family. I love that. That's so nice. Okay. And then we have a nine of wands. Um, trials and obstacles have taught you how self-reliant and resilient you are, especially in personal matters. This feels on par for today. Uh turning to your spiritual or wellness practice will help you to reflect on these experiences to see the hidden gifts within each lesson. You're coming to the end of a struggle or conflict, so trust the process. Um, okay, and then, you know, but I feel like this kind of speaks to what we were talking about, right? Like leaning into reparenting yourself and then um like allowing for your practices to be a part of your life, whatever spiritual practices we choose, and like doing them regularly. And then, you know, you'll be able to be rewarded from that. And then we actually have reversed um two of pentacles. So it says reverse two of pentacles in your life in your reading can indicate tensions in your life that leave you feeling unbalanced or destabilized. So it could be irresponsibility with money or um, you know, momentary challenges where we feel like we have to find the balance again. And when you get off track, taking small steps to get back into alignment. What that bro, it literally says that at the end. These channels, this is word for word, these challenges are momentary, and balancing can be easily restored by identifying where you're off track and taking small steps to get back into alignment.
SPEAKER_00Oh insane what the basics can do.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry, did we not just talk about this for the last hour? And then like my cards were like, Yeah, you guys are right on the money. Like, that's so beautiful. Yeah. Um, so let's move forward this week with that. When you get off track, take small steps to get back into alignment. Let that be okay. Try to have fun, parent yourself, and follow whatever spiritual practices you feel called to. And we will see you next week. We're actually going to be um talking with Hannah, healing with Hannah. Um, she's a psychic medium, she is a Reiki teacher master, and she's gonna be sharing about what life is like being a psychic medium. So good. So excited, so excited, so grateful to have her on our podcast. And we will see you next time.
