006 - Heatwaves and Entertainers

I refuse to complain about the heat we've had recently! I'm also booking some entertainers for Sophie's Memorial Party.
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Transcript

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More than Fridays. Hi everyone! Welcome to More Than Fridays. My weekly entry of what's going on in my life, and it's glad I'm glad to be here. I'm glad to have you back. I'm glad to be here. I hope you're enjoying the sun. What's going on? So we went from torrential rain to an absolute heat wave. Um, so I have not said once that I'm too hot. I am not the kind of gal that likes to sit in the sun, but I can train in the sun. Isn't that weird? I'm not one for sitting in it. I sit in the find the shade. I'm not into tanning. I don't think it's very good for us Irish stroke English girlies. Um, so I stay out of the sun and uh just you know embrace my paleness. And I have the beauty of when I need a tan, I just go to the bottle. Anyway, I am my eyes and my face and my ears and my nose are fighting for their life today because of hay fever. Are you a sufferer of hay fever? I know I am every darn year, and it's is it an older thing? Is it an older person thing? Because I didn't get this when I was younger. But all of a sudden, probably about 10 years ago, I started to get hay fever, and it's a pain in the booty. So this morning I woke up, it was very early, about six o'clock, and my ears started to like itch. And I was like, I know what this is, this is hay fever. So I went downstairs, I've got a cabinet full of hay fever tablets, and I thought I'm just I don't care if I haven't eaten anything on an empty stomach, I'm gonna take it. And it's been okay, but still, it would have been a lot worse, but it's still irritating. I've got a constant running nose and it's nightmare. But one thing I haven't done, which people do recommend, is eating the natural honey, spoonful of that. So I'm gonna give that a go. I'm gonna start early next year. Um, but I've just got to stick with the um, I'm gonna try lots of different things. Apparently, there's my PA was telling me there's a nasal thing that coats your nose. I'm gonna give that a go. But I what happens is when I put my makeup on, I I'm not allergic to any makeup or anything. When I put my makeup on in this season, my eyes start watering, so I put less makeup on. Anyway, this is not gonna be a moan fest about hay fever, but just so you know, if I might snivel, if I might look a bit uh uh itchy eyes, it's my hay fever. It is it's pretty strong. It's pretty strong. So I'm gonna kick off by talking about how excited I am. Something obviously it's a very sad thing, but we all know I'm trying to make positive about horrible situation. So Sophie's Memorial Garden is going to be open this year. It's in my own garden, and I'm I have been planning this probably probably since last year. I always knew I wanted to do something to remember her, and it's just taken on a life of its own. It's now's the time because we've been doing everything, like putting all the foundations in, all the um landscaping and things. It's really coming together now, and all the plants that were planted are now they're not fully grown yet, they're all starting to come up. And I'll tell you what is absolutely blooming right now is the roses. I knew I wanted really bright pink roses because Sophie did the shoot with a photographer called Karen Stanley, and it was one of my favourite shoots of Sophie ever to have been done. And I've been speaking to Karen Stanley and asking her, um, and she's very kindly agreed that she's going to give me the images so as on the day we can um have some pictures and things like that. And I have been reaching out to people and asking um if I can have certain images. There's um men, um, I can't actually say the website, but uh for A Tale with Two Cock Destroyers, they did some lovely pictures and I've asked them if it's possible that I can have the original images just so as I can share, share these pictures um and have them around the garden and whatnot. So I've got to go through all the pictures because what we're gonna I've got some nice little surprises. Um when the actual opening happens, I I wouldn't I want it to be like always something to look at. So I gradually every week I go and buy something, whether it's like a little garden ornament or uh a new plant, and so it's constantly updating because it is quite a big space that I'm trying to fill. I had a little idea the other day, and some of Sophie's iconic lines, like the number one, is hello guys and girlies and my non-binary friends. That is going to be definitely going on a sign. So having them placed around the gardens, the garden for people to look at in flowers, always something to look at. And there's going to be a lot more things, but it's great because I can get a lot done in three months. I'm like challenge Annika when I'm on a project that I want to execute, and I'm so pumped about this because some projects I take on, and I've been nervous, you know, like there's been all sorts of things where there's a lack of faith in myself sometimes if I've taken on something too big for me or whatever. But I guess I I don't get that so much anymore because I am confident in my skills. But this, I am so confident this is gonna be one of the best days ever. I really, really am. I've got great people coming. I'm gonna make sure I've revised the guest list and make sure everybody that needs to be there is needs to be there. The thing is, right, is I live in the middle of nowhere, okay? So there may be a few logistical issues, but I'm gonna have to work through that. Um, it's very countryside where I live. I absolutely love where I live, it's fabulous, and I do believe that I've chosen a fabulous day. There's going to be absolutely beautiful weather. And if it isn't, I'm covered. I'm covered because we have my daughter's party was uh the other weekend and it was it was raining. So we have things that you can have and you can still have a great time with all these covers. So we're covered, it's gonna be an amazing day no matter what. So I'm a bit of a even with my house, I'm a bit of a um a make it up as I go planner. Make it up as I go planner is exactly what I do because my ideas come to me naturally, and there's a gut feeling where I go, that is it, that is it. But I don't get it straight away. I don't go, right, I'm gonna plan all this. I didn't get this house and go, right, this is exactly what I'm gonna do, gonna do in the right order, because there is an order that you should do things. I never do anything in order, I do everything in my order, in my order of affordability, and my order of what I want what I want to get done first. So I have done everything generally in this house, uh face. Um, and the same goes for Sophie's memorial garden. But let me tell you, it works. It works, it works, it works, it works for me, it works for my bank balance, it just works, and it always works out for me. So uh lighting, lighting, lighting. I'm actually doing lighting last, but we've had some, I've got some great things going down there, just some really nice gentle lighting around the garden. It looks beautiful, even the phone box has got a bit of lighting in there. Um, having some more seatings on, um, and general layout of the day. I was like, gosh, I have to act doing all this playoff, just thought in my head, I'm like, great, yeah, everyone turns up, they get fed, it's great. So I'm like, hold on a minute, I am the host. Just have to have a reality check with myself. Yeah, Rebecca, you're the host. You've got to, you know, host this thing. So I have I've got a little uh I I am going to cut a ribbon to, you know, open the garden. I think it would only be um fair, only be fair, it'd only be natural to do that. So um I've also called, I am calling the garden, it's uh Sophie's Serenity. Sophie's Serenity Garden. It's Sophie's Serenity. I can't remember the following bits. Sophie's serenity, yeah. Sophie's Serenity Memorial Garden. I don't think I'm having memorial garden. Anyway, put in the chat what you think. I feel it's Sophie's Serenity Garden. That's it, that's what Sign's gonna say. Sophie's Serenity Garden. I've been jumping around on this podcast. I'm so sorry. I know I was talking about signs earlier. It's my ADHD brain. Anyway, stick with me. Signage. Anna's in the kitchen right now painting. My daughter's an artist, she's painting the signage, and I'm really excited about that. We are having some of Sophie's uh one-liners, and I've got them here actually. I'm gonna read them out. Um right, okay. So we have got, I've still got to get a bench for Sophie with a plaque-on. That's on my list of to-dos. I've got to order a big pink ribbon to cut. Right, I've got about the sign that's gonna go on the thing. It's called it is called Sophie's Serenity Memorial Garden. It is that is the four words, that's what's gonna have on it. And so, as I was saying, I'm gonna have lots of little signs. Lot of I want to get lots of little pictures of her and put plasti put them in plastic and hang them on plants, which would be awesome and amazing. Very, very positive, very fun, you know. Um, it's gonna be a really fun day because it is it is a sad, sad memory, but I feel that we're celebrating the the positive side of it is we're celebrating her life, the good parts and things like that. It's a celebration of Sophie, a celebration of Sophie, which is uh really exciting. It's gonna be very pink, it's gonna be very bright, it's gonna be a beautiful day. So I've got here as well all sounds. I remember I can hear her saying it right now. So we've got hello guys and girlies and my non-binary friends. That's gonna be all over the place, like you know, the front of your house as a sign. You have some balloons or something. Well, that's what mine's gonna have on it. Hello, guys and girlies and my non-binary friends, so as people can find it. Then there's going to be signs that says something as if he would always say in a conversation. There's lots of them. Oh babes, oh babes. We're just gonna have those everywhere in like little signage around the garden as well. Another one was just remember I love you. And she would say this on the internet, just remember I love you. Hello, sassy, come here, hello darling. One of my dogs comes to join me. Come on, baby, hi, gorgeous. My Jet Russell sassy, you never join me very much, babe. Come here. Do you want to come sit with me? Do you want to come here? Come on. Sassy's a bit fussy. Hello, gorgeous. Sassy never comes to sit with me. Come and say hello. She's a bit shy, but this is sassy. This is sassy. Hello. She's Ethel's sister, but they look nothing like each other because Ethel, Ethel's an American bulldog and sassy's a jack roller. But they are sisters. Aren't you, darling? Anyway, uh classic. Sophie, another sign we're gonna have put on, and we're gonna spell this T-H-A-S-I-T-T-T. That's it. Um, we're also, yes, so those are the ones. If you can remember any famous sayings that Sophie did, and I've not put them down, make sure you put them in the chat. But I think I've pretty much covered the most important ones. Um, so I'm really looking forward to doing the fun bits now. I feel like the hard work of Sophie's garden is done. We've got a few more bits next week. We've got quite a lot of stuff happening to some other areas of the garden that really don't look good, and we've just got to clear them up. But the thing is, is when people come here, my house is still work in progress. There is a lot of like construction and stuff going on. It's not finished, it won't be finished for a very long time. But the there are sections of it that are really beautiful, which is Sophie's garden. I've made it really gorgeous. So as you know, there's parts of it that don't really show you. You've probably seen them on camera, but yeah, there's loads of it being done, and everything around here is very imperfect, a bit like me, really. Um, so we are. I have left myself plenty of time to organise Sophie's um memorial and the the opening of the garden. I have got PA who I'm training at the moment. She's phenomenal, she's super organised, she's been helping me a lot, she has lots of great contacts and things. Um, I've got Rick who you know really knew Sophie really, really well. He's gonna be filming so as we can share with you, because obviously you're not gonna be there in person, but we can share with you um the special day. I've got Anna, who's on art department, and we are gonna have waitresses, uh so uh waitresses and waiters um that are gonna be you know serving drinks and things like that. I don't let's say could I think I've got it covered. I I've never had this many people in my house. We've got workout toilets and things like that, but you know what? It's it's not like a party where people sort of like mingle. I think there's gonna be a different five. I think I think if there's some people that are coming on their own, they don't know anyone. I think the truth is that's probably what I'll say, is like Sophie, one of Sophie's things is she never ever wanted anyone to feel left out or anything like that. I remember Sophie would always be over and above, making sure that everyone's included and what have you. I'm very naturally like that, but Sophie was more so. Sophie was really kind with um a double, double impact. And I do, you know, I'm not saying I'm not kind, I'm just saying I'm a little bit different. We all know Sophie, we all know she had a massive heart, and I'm gonna say something like if you're on your own or you see someone on their own, get everybody mingle. I want everybody to talk to each other. So I think, in that in mind, in the fact that this part is kind of like based on a character who's foot who is full of love, I do feel like that will help towards the day. It's gonna be such a positive day. Very pink, very, dare I say, gay. It's gonna be a beautiful, beautiful, fun, gay day. Um, and I really can't wait. I think it's gonna be just glorious, absolutely glorious. So, next, as we move on. Oh no, we're still on that topic because I haven't discussed yet about um what's actually going on. I have booked a singer, and I just really fancied a singer, and I know lots of people online. I fancied just putting it online. Um, I I went on this entertainer's website, and this woman contacted me, and I thought I love the way she came across, and I'm so excited to meet her. She does uh a little bit of opera, she's got a beautiful voice. Um, and I have been watching her work and I really can't wait. I've chosen the songs. I'm probably gonna cry. So we've gonna have some really emotional songs to begin with, and then they're gonna change to a bit more upbeat. But as we open the uh the garden, we're gonna have some beautiful songs that this woman's gonna sing. I can't wait! I can't wait. I just think it's gonna be gorgeous, and yeah, they're they are. I I feel like I've chosen the right songs. I think they're um very special for what's gonna be happening. I've also thought to myself, okay, it's a daytime thing, but I've kind of said to people, if they want to leave early, they can, but if you want to stay on, you also can. So I thought, okay, got food, got um caterers. I am going to have like some entertainment as well because I thought, gosh, you know, we could all be chat, chat, chat, but it could end up like just the singers there, and maybe it's a bit boring. I don't know. I've never done anything like this before. I will get some entertainers. So I've got some mates coming over next week, which we're actually doing a bit of reality on. We're gonna have some film as people filming. We are gonna be picking the entertainer who is going to, or entertainers who is going to be at the Sophie Memorial Gardening uh Sophie Serenity Memorial Garden opening. I'm gonna it's gonna be a tongue twister, it's gonna be a tongue tongue twister, okay? And I really can't wait for that because I do feel that every time I think of something, I'm like, what would Sophie think if she was looking down? Like if she could see her party, would she be happy with this? So I always keep that in the back of my mind. I'm like, this isn't your party, Rebecca. It's not your party. This is Sophie's, okay? So what would Sophie want? I'm like, Sophie wants Sophie was fucking wild and batshit crazy at times. We all know this. So I've picked like quite fun ideas and I've brought some friends round. I've got um a lot of friends coming, a lot of very female, um, female industry uh coming to the memorial as well. And they're gonna help me next week choose who the entertainment's gonna be. Whether it takes several times to try other people, but we've got really looking forward to this one. I've had a recommendation of a magician. I'm gonna try that. And yeah, we'll see what you think. We're gonna this is gonna be out what this Friday, which is is that tomorrow? No, no, no, no. No, we're on Wednesday. Yeah, Friday the 29th, this will be out, and then next week there won't be a podcast next week because I'm gonna be busy. Um, you'll you'll probably get I should think next week, one of the entries, whether we get to the actual entertainer first, but you you know it's coming. Um so yes, to conclude on that subject, I am so looking forward to this. I'm so looking forward to a special day to remember her, to be with all of our friends that knew her, loved her, um, and just share this special place that I've created. Um I'm not at all worried about whether it'll be finished. I think it looks absolutely amazing as it is, but we're still going, we're still going strong. Um, we've got lots of things to blossom, etc. It would be nice to have the perfect weather day, not too hot, just perfect sunshine. Um, but yeah, I'm super excited about it. I really am. It's just gonna be absolutely beautiful. It's gonna be an emotional day, yet super joyful as well. And I think the timing is right because I don't think I could have handled this any sooner, not at all. I needed strength to be able to do this and to be able to talk into a microphone to people. I am, you know, I've written some some bits to open to open, and when I first wrote it, I didn't cry, but when I opened my mouth to read it out to hear myself, I was on my own, I was just crying my eyes out. I was absolutely crying my eyes out. I was like, no, I need to practice this because I do need to hold it together. I I do look, I'm I can be very emotional when something um means a lot to me, and I do feel that the more I practice it in front of people, I'll be okay. I'll be okay. Right. Thank you for tuning in. Obviously, please like and subscribe if you're enjoying this, and um let me know if anything else you'd like to hear me talking about. I'm gonna go on, move on now. I'm gonna talk about something personal where um it's a bit of it's a bit of a poo-poo on my side. So I have got such I have not been training. Because I did the three peaks, I have been enjoying doing a little bit of nothing and not stressing about having a five-hour walk or something extreme. This is what where I talk about I'm 0 to 100. Why can I not just get up and just do 10 minutes a day? But oh no, I choose to do nothing. I choose to do nothing. It's either 100 or nothing. And I need to get out of this my this mindset. I really, really do. I haven't I said on the last podcast I was gonna go train in, I was gonna go to Shark Tank. I didn't go because I'm like, well, why? It's a 40 minute drive. And to me, time is everything. The time is everything. I thought, well, I could go on a Saturday and I just feel like I've been so tired lately. I've been lying in. I've been going to bed late. I've been scrolling my phone. So I have to sort it out. I really have to sort it out. So I started by dragging my yoga mat out at the weekend and putting it underneath the umbrella and just did some stretches. It was really fun. The dogs came and jumped all over me. I did some bits and peas, and I thought, if I just leave this here and try and come out in the morning, I've I've really got to lean on my habits. At the moment, I'm going, I can start, I could start work today at 11. I'll lie in. Really bad habits. So I am going to change. But I'm not what I need to do is not set myself like right, I'm going to go to Shark Tank, blah blah blah. Because that's like three hours out of my day. And I think that's what's the problem is I'm setting things that are too too much. So I'm going to get up, do some stretches, do a little kettlebell workout, and just start with that. Because if not, the alternative is absolutely nothing. And that's really not good. Um, so yeah, wish me luck with that. I've had really, really, really, I know we've got to work off our habits. Motivation isn't gonna keep you keep you going, keep you showing up. So I've got to ingrain those habits, good habits into me. That said, my swimming, I love in my swimming. I went swimming last night, I had such a good time. I will say this though, I know no one from my swim club listens to this, they don't. So I'll tell you this, and certainly not this person. So I was put in a lane and I get on with everyone. I really, really do. But something happened last night, and I was just like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Right, so I am a bit of a like I can be submissive in things. So, for example, if I don't know something, so for example, men overestimate themselves in sport and women underestimate themselves in sport. My coach says it all the time, and we know it's true, guys. You can agree, you can agree, you overestimate yourselves, and we underestimate ourselves. So when I started my swimming club, I was kind of felt like, okay, they're all amazing swimmers. I need to just stay at the back, you know, stay like okay, yeah, you first if you touch my foot, blah blah blah. I'm not gonna touch your foot, I'm gonna slow down. I'm gonna slow down because I don't wanna I I don't wanna be that person. So anyway, there was a person, I'm just gonna say a person in my lane, and I I was aware that you know they they're quite new, etc. And I'm very, very patient. So when I'm behind somebody, I do not touch feet, I won't do it. I won't dip you're being slow, let me overtake you. I just don't do it, I just slow down. Anyway, we'd done a lap and I was just like, someone had touched my toe. Now bear in mind I knew who touched my foot by the end of the swim. It was my daughter. My daughter kept touching my feet, my daughter was behind me, she was like, I just want to stay near my mum. I thought someone else I thought was a faster swimmer. I was thinking, oh, if they're touching me, it's time like to speed up. So anyway, I look and I'm like, do I have it in me to speed up to overtake this person and to make to the end to clear? And there was enough, so I went, okay, I'm gonna go for it. No hesitation, went for it. As I'm speeding up, let me tell you, they sped up. They sped up, they sped up, so it became a race. It became a race because no one was that end, everyone's all behind me, it's in the line, and I'm like, hold on a minute, anyway. She got I was like, I'm gonna have to pull back because it basically we're like this, and at that point when she knows that I'm coming here because I'm like, you know, it's probably time now that I overtake because I've got somebody tapping my toes and there's enough room for me to make the wall. I was I've given away the person anyway. The person starts speeding up. So at this point, when she seen me a little bit back here, she's definitely gonna get to the end if she speeds up. I'm like thinking, I'm still thinking, I don't remember her going this fast. I was like, and I got to see it, I was like, I'd better back off because it's gonna be dangerous if she gets to the uh end of the wall. So I backed off, got back in, and I got to the wall, and I just thought, right, I'm gonna she I thought, what's gonna go on here? Is she gonna stop and wait for me? What's going on? I don't know. So we got to the wall and she was sped sped off again. And I just stopped there for a moment, and then my daughter rocks up and I went, she goes, Well, what's up? I went, I swear she just sped up as I'm trying, and I felt stupid. I felt really stupid. I was like, Maybe I shouldn't have done that, you know. Maybe I should have just stuck with being slow because my Anna had touched my toe. I thought it was a fast for me. If I right now I'll be like, ignore Anna and I'll just be going slow, but I was anyway. So I I was like doubting myself, thinking, Oh, have you been a dick? Have you been an absolute dick? So now I was like, no, she definitely sped up. And I was like, no, do you know what? It was you, Rebecca. It was bloody well you, you shouldn't have done that, and you deserve to feel humiliated. So anyway, I forget it. We carry on swimming, and I end up back near this bird behind this person again because I've slowed down, so I'm you know, I'm behind now, so I've just stopped taking a breath and just went, right, I'll carry on. So then, you know, we're we're doing our drills and I'm behind her again. Okay, I'm just going at my normal normal pace, and I start closing in, and I'm like, I'm not doing this again, not doing this again, I'm not doing this again, I'm not having deja vu and for this to speed up again and make me look like a twat yet again. So I just left it and I stayed in resentment for the entire rest of the uh swim, and I'm still not over it, so I have to work on that one. Maybe I should send some Collins to my sponsor on this one. But I just thought to myself, Rebecca, this is so you. I have a brain that will go over and over and over and over something, and it's so pointless. This is unbelievably pointless. The truth is, is she might be unsure. She might have been thinking, oh my god, I need to be faster because this is so bad. I'm holding her up. Do you know what I mean? I used to hate when people touch my feet. So I was technically doing something that I absolutely hate myself. So I need to get over myself, move on, and just don't be so bloody petty because it's not worth it. It's not worth it, but it was quite funny. I did have a little bit of resentment. But anyway, we move on. Swimming is going great, I love it, I have such fun, and if it wasn't for things like that, then you know I think healthy uh doctor's trying to trip over the words. A bit of healthy competition is great, it's great for the mind, body, and soul. Um, so I'm going sea swimming with my coach at the weekend, which I'm really looking forward to. I love sea swimming. Went sea swimming last Saturday and it was absolutely wonderful. It was completely still, and I hadn't been sea swimming for a very, very long time. So we go to Felix Stowe. It's absolutely fabulous there because it's quite quiet. It's not very, it's not a popular beach at all. And uh we swam from say what fledges, if you know folks who swim from it's a bit further up, from the pink uh summer house. Swam from there all the way to the pier, past the pier. Hello, honey. This is honey, from the um from the pinks um from we swam from the pink beach hut all the way to the pier, part through the pier, through the pier bridge, and then back again. And the the way back was really hard. I really felt it then. I was exhausted. I I slept for the rest of the day, it was unbelievable. So we're going again this weekend. I can't wait. I'm going with my coach, who's a phenomenal swimmer, she's really good fun, so I'm really looking forward to that. And I actually feel that I'm going to focus on the swimming element of triathlon at the moment because um cycling, I'm just not I'm not feeling doing that at the moment because it's it's so time consuming. But that leads me on to talk about my goal. My goal is to do an Iron Man, a full Iron Man in 2028. My goal is to do the Copenhagen one in 2028. I would love to do that. That means that if I do the Copenhagen Iron Man in 2028, my training would need to start in 2027. 2027 is next year, so that means I'm airing it, putting it out there to the universe that I need to have my shirt together by I would say August 2027, in order to get in there for August 2028. So, you as my witness, that's what's gonna happen. I'm very excited. My coach recommended Copenhagen, so it's a really nice course. Um, it's quite local. I've never, I mean, I always thought I'll just stay in the UK to do triathlons, but I'm going to do the Iron Man Copenhagen 2028. Oh, if I can. So that's that. I'm got to get my head around it. It's going to be big time training next year. Not next year, the start of the training would be, I reckon, around August 2027. So I'm going to focus all that time on swimming, getting really strong at swimming. Um, and then because swimming and cycling, I mean, let's be honest, I'm not exactly a top athlete in any of them, but my strength is running, you know, I'm very, very, very like average. Um, but I love it. I really do. I really, really love it. I love I love having that goal, and on the day, oh, it's just amazing. I can definitely train in the heat. I was absolutely fine. It's really hot on the Swansea Half Iron Man, and the heat didn't affect me at all. And you know what? I will be getting a brand new tri-suit. I think this time I'll need some like a leopard print or something on it. I had an amazing tri-suit uh uh last year with all the kind of the the big red lips and stuff like that. So I'm definitely gonna do a new design this year, and I will be doing a donation to um Women's Refuge in memory of Sophie. So that's my goal. That is my goal. What's going on in my life? What is keeping my life juicy? I have just uh I I did shoot for one of these big companies again. So when I left mainstream filming, as they say, I can't sit on here, I might get into trouble, but you know, it's the industry I'm in. Um I didn't do like a farewell shoot as such, so so I did it. I did a farewell shoot, and uh it was a riot, it was completely different to what this company usually shoot. Um, and it was such fun, it was such fun. You must go and watch it, you must go and watch it. Um it's great, it's great. So I did that, that was great. Um, and I did that's been released this week. I am I am doing, we're kind of getting a little bit organized here. This is a working house. So we have people in in the garden working on stuff, we have constant renovations and things going on. I've got my PA who I'm currently training to do more stuff, um more techie kind of things, and Rick's been helping me sort out all of my passwords and all of my phones and everything. So I have different passwords for everything. It can get very stressful and complicated, but it's worth it, it's worth it. Um, so we were just doing that this morning. That's very, very stressful. I'm getting very organized this week. Um, I do feel like after all the stress and the hard work that I've done in the past and feeling like I want to bash my head against a wall because I'm so overworked and I've needed help and I've needed a team. I feel like I'm finally getting there and that I'm so I'm that five inches from gold, you know, that book where it says you don't give up now. I feel like I'm so close to having the life that I've always wanted, which is I've always felt that I'm in fight or flight mode and really stressed and constantly got, right, I need to get to work, I need to do this, I need to do that. And there's been no peace that really hasn't. I feel that my main goal has always been about having peace, being, oh, I can do like work's done now, rather than thinking I've got work 24 hours a day, right? That's work's done. You can go and spend time with your dogs or your family, just having a bit more at peace. And so this week, with this beautiful weather, we've done a lovely bit out there. I've put some on social media where uh we've got a seating area, we've got a cover over it because we had it all set up like that for Anna's party to not have any rack to not get uh rain on us, and it actually was really nice. So I said, can we keep let's keep this up for the summer? And it's been so nice. I come out and I do my makeup ready for work, and it just feels like I'm on holiday. Donna will make me and Anna a nice iced coffee or a smoothie, and we can't just have such a lovely life here, it's just beautiful, it's a really good energy in this house. I don't have anyone toxic in here. If they are, if there's any bitchiness, they don't last, you know. There isn't that there's not room for any of that in this house. We don't want that at all. So have a lovely, lovely setup, a lovely area, it's just wonderful. Um, and we've been sat out there doing doing bits and pieces, and just me getting so stressed. And Rick is like very helpful. I've got Rick who's really helping me at the moment. Um, just to manage my brain a little bit. I do need people around me that are very organized because I'm just quite chaos. I'm a creative, chaotic person, and I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses, and my weaknesses, you know, would be that organization of computer files and my actual the tech side of my business. I really need to understand that a lot and I and have control of that, which is super, super important. I would definitely advise anybody who's a content creator to have to make sure they know where everything is and not just rely on one sole person like I did with my assistant, who you know luckily he gave me a lot of stuff back, but the one thing that he did, which obviously we're going through legals now, was he put his own personal um he he so this is how um I think what he was saying to me is do you remember when old my old phones you would have store it to the phone and then you have like a iCloud? Well, really, if you put your iCloud in the phone kind of belongs to that iCloud. There is no way that the pictures can go to the phone. So what he managed to do remotely was because he'd put his own personal um iCloud in to a work phone, he was always in control of that phone, and you know, he just left because um he he just left, never came back. I wasn't able to get him when we found out that he'd done this. He was like, Send your phone to me. And I was like, Well, I'm not gonna send my phone to you, and it was such tension that it was just awkward, it was just really awkward. Anyway, what he ended up doing was just right, delete, and I was like, I need to see you, because he's done this, paid him for that. I need to see you to get my phone, all the content that's on there. So I've lost three years of content, so we're going through that whole thing. He is adamant that he doesn't have that content anymore. He managed to send me some back, which is a bit strange, but yeah, that's three whole years of uh content. Quite lucky that I've got some other older phones, which does have there was some bits of Sophie on there, which really upset me. But there was a whole production show of the BTS stuff of a production show that I don't have anymore, and that I'm contracted to promote that show. So it has left me in a bit of a sticky situation, but I've you know I've instructed solicitors and um we'll just let it go on there. And I do think that I I think sometimes I think there was a bit of ego there that when somebody loses their job or what have you, there was a bit of bitterness without a doubt, because he just like ghosted me, really, and there were things that needed to be kind of dealt with. Anyway, I think you know, that said, the law can do its do its thing. So what's going on for me this week? I am actually going out next week. I'm quite excited about it. So this week I'm busy, hold on, let's have a look at my diary, get it up. So hopefully get my hair done. Hopefully, if my hairdresser's not too busy, um, and then I'm going to which I'm very excited about. Oh, where is it? Oh, here it is. Right. I'm going to the National Portrait Gallery. I can't wait. I'm very excited. Um, in celebration of Hollywood stars' 100th birthday and in association with the Marilyn Monroe estate, Marilyn Monroe, a portrait will explore the life, career, and legacy of Marilyn Monroe through portraits created by some of the greatest photographers and artists of the 20th and 21st century, bringing together works by Andy Walhol, Pauline Botti, Marlene Dumas, James Gill, Rosalind Drexler, and Audrey Flack, alongside other 20 era defining photographers, including Cecil Beaton, Philip Hasleman, Bernard of Hollywood, Andre de Deans, Eve Arnold, Ing Morath, Alfred Einstad, Milton Green, Sam Shaw, Richard Averdon, and George Barris. The exhibition will foreground Monroe's collaborative approach to image, making her a creative agency. So that's rather lovely. Explore our retail collection. Well, there looks like there's going to be a shop there. I may have to get some. I've got a few nice Marilyn bits around here. Actually, when I was younger, my dad was in um like graphics, print, etc. When I was younger, I used to work for him, and he did this amazing Marilyn um like vinyl, very thin of her when her skirt was blowing up. And I was like, Dad, I must have this. I was quite young and I kept this picture for God knows how long. And through moving and moving and moving, I lost it. I moved so many times, and I will never forget that picture. I think it was one of the best things that he ever did. He just like he would do these things, you know. He wasn't sort of an artist, but just do quite fun things, and it was just a thin line of her with her shoes and her red lips, and it's just it was amazing. And yeah, I remember that picture, and I always she's just such an icon. I think a lot of women look up to Marilyn, she went through such a traumatic life, which is really sad. Um but she's an icon, she's a true icon. I I there's just something magical about her, a bit like Pamela Anson, to be honest. Pamela Anson, for a lot of women, is as we see her now, icon, she does as she likes, absolute icon. I just love Pamela, I love every single stage of Pamela. I can't even like I love where she is right now, embracing her beauty, embracing who she is. She is gorgeous, and because she's kind of like, I don't want to wear makeup and things like that, she obviously gets like a lot. No women can ever win, so she just don't really care. But she to me is just timeless beauty forever and ever. Amen. Um, I love I love her, and I love how she's kind of not trying to be anything other than herself. I think it's so hot, she's such an icon. I love her to bits. That is it. I can conclude life is good. Next week, I'm gonna have a really fun week. I hope you enjoy this podcast. I love sharing my life with you. I am doing really well, I feel happy. I've just got to work on a few things. Being, I could definitely work on my productivity. I definitely scroll on my phone way way more than I should. I could, I should, I need to be reading more because I've got two books I haven't even opened yet. I bought two books, I've got one from my friend who I will mention once I've read the book. I bought another book, I haven't opened them, but yeah, last night, it's two hours scrolling, sort it out, Rebecca. I just constantly need to go back to the drawing board, back to the drawing board. Progress, not perfection. So I hope you have an amazing weekend. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I am going to be back not next week, but the week after with another podcast for you, and we can go over the the uh reality show that I'm going to be producing for you and you enjoying. I hope you love it. It's gonna be a lot of fun, and I will see you soon. Please, the best way to connect with me, I really do get into the comments on YouTube. Get in, get commenting. Um, I love to get back to you. I love uh connecting with you, and I will see you soon. Please like and subscribe, and I will catch up with you on a Friday in a while, in a little while, maybe a couple of weeks. Love you, bye.