Episode 26 - Well Endownsed

my buddy scott fills in for andy today and gets a feel for the pod and I stumble through my notes

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:01

What up, what up? This is uh Horrible Hang Podcast. We got a uh got something a little different for y'all today. Uh we got a uh replacement co-host for you. This is uh Scotty.

SPEAKER_03 0:13

What's going on, y'all?

SPEAKER_04 0:14

We uh I mean Scotty meant the clink.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Mm-hmm the loony bin.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

Yep. And uh yeah, I mean, so like I don't know. I figured kind of wanted to try mixing things up a little bit. You know, Scotty's fun. So figured fuck it, see how this goes, you know what I mean? So uh I mean, did you have anything you wanted to like? Do you have any stories or anything? Like anything you wanted to say?

SPEAKER_03 0:42

I mean, nah, man. Uh I don't know. I'm excited to be here. It'll be fun. Yeah, yeah. Talk about uh I don't know, we can rehash some stories from the clink. We can uh talk about whatever, man.

SPEAKER_04 0:56

Yeah, have a good time. Yeah, dude. Fucking um, I don't know, dude. How long has it been since that what was that? Like we got out like May, I think. April and May, yeah. Something like that, yeah. And I don't know. I don't I guess there was like some things about it I kind of liked, but it was like I don't know. I loved it. Yo, yeah. I've been there twice, so you know. I mean I'm a repeat offender. It's okay. It's okay. Shit, maybe I will be too. Who fucking knows at this point? Staying strong for now. But uh, yeah, dude. Um I don't know, dude. I was just trying to think like like probably what the craziest, like most memorable story from back then was for me. I always remember uh fucking John shits in the toilet. Okay, that was always your roommate, no? Yeah, he was my roommate for the first half of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

And why only the first half? I I forget how this all went.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

I forget exactly why they switched over, but um I don't know, yeah, because I we switched over to Cam for the second half of it. But when I was in there for the first half, there was at least two times. Here, I'm gonna take this hat off. But there were at least two times where he just would like leave a turd just floating in the fucking water.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

I just remember him only um he'd only have his tidy whiteys on. I remember you telling me that.

SPEAKER_04 2:27

Oh yeah, he would always have the tidy whiteys on. He it had to have been the same pair from like I don't know, 2004.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

I mean he God, that guy's skin was uh yellow as the sun, man.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

Yeah, dude. He was yeah, he was in rough shape. That fucking the belly, the cirrhosis of the liver very much progressed. I wonder how he's doing. Uh he's dead, Kyle.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

He's got I don't know for sure. Oh fuck. There's no way he's making it, man. Yeah, yeah. That guy, I mean what, his brother sent him there. I mean, how old was he? Uh bro, he was mid-60s, probably, right? Yeah, I mean you're mid-60s. You didn't go that you know, you didn't go to rehab on your own accord.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

You got cirrhosis of the liver. Yeah. You got old parchment paper skin. Yeah. And you're either trying to convince him to go to sober living. Yeah. Like, this guy's not going to sober living.

SPEAKER_04 3:29

I mean, yeah, he told me. He was like, yeah, I'm not doing that shit, man. I just want to fucking go fishing.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Like. Did you ever see the uh the pictures of his uh his apartment? Like the brother sent one of the therapists pictures of his apartment.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

I never saw pictures. I heard I heard about the bucket. The bucket.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

Yeah, the bucket. That's what I'm that's what I'm talking about. This man would just live. I mean, he's a hoarder, basically. Yeah, yeah. And he's just living on a bucket, a bucket and a handle of Tito's. Yeah. That's how he lives his life. Yeah. But I mean, he was a social guy though, still, when he was in the clink. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

I mean, he was funny. He was a funny guy. Bit of a weirdo, but he was a funny guy. I don't know, man. It's weird though. It's like, because you're just like for like this short period of time, you're just like with the same group of people, you just get to know everyone so well, and then you get out, and it's just like see, I love it because I'm I'm an introvert.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

So like I like it. It was kind of nice to just be isolated from the real world. Yeah. Just put me in this, like, tell me exactly what I need to do. My meals are planned for me. Yeah. Take a nap whenever I want.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Yeah, take a fucking backseat on life for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

Backseat on life.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

That much of it was nice for sure. But yeah, dude. Um, so we got a nice little soundboard built into this thing. Um, I forget what sound I got. Yeah, what do we got cooking here? Well, the first one we got. Okay. Yeah, I think, you know, you can uh assume what that's for.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Is there a smoke uh smoke battery detector?

SPEAKER_04 5:20

Actually. Wait, wait, wait, right.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

That's John in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

Nope, that's not it. It's somewhere in here. There it is.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

That's that's why I might need that one. There we go. How did I know that you were gonna have the that was gonna be part of the soundboard? Of course. I mean, come on, man. You already know me too. I guessed that too easily. You gotta be kidding me, dude. Just right off the top of the head. Like on the head that's top left.

SPEAKER_04 5:56

Oh yeah, we got it. Of course. Because, see, uh my regular co-host, his name's Andy, he's got a black girlfriend. So I the joke I like to play.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

The material's endless.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Oh, yeah. I like to like just play it throughout and like see if he even notices it. Kind of thing. Which usually he doesn't, you know. I guess it's just part of his environment. Yeah, I guess that's how that happens, you know. We got this.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Okay. So I was going to rehab and uh this guy John.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

This guy John uh left a fucking five-inch turd hanging out in the toilet.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Well, I mean, okay, you gotta give him a break on that. Because think about it, man. The guy lived with a bucket. I mean, yeah, I guess given the context, yeah. I guess given the context, yeah. I mean shitting in a bucket. The man lived on his toilet.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Yeah, I guess at that point I it'd be a lot to ask to expect.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

I mean he's trying to change a lot of there's a lot of drastic changes going on in his life when he's at that rehab. He's having a normal meal for the first time in his life, probably. Yeah. So I mean, to ask him to flush when he's used to the bucket.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

I mean, I guess you make a good point. I guess you give him some grace. You may I guess you make a good point. I don't know. It was just a it was just a surprise every time, you know. No warning, no warning at all. Um I don't know how this got on here, but oh yeah, okay. There's that one.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Get him in line.

SPEAKER_04 7:38

Yeah. Okay. So, I mean, the best thing about this is you could like combo you know some of the things. Like, if you wanted to say something like, you stupid. Get something like that going. Okay. You know what I mean? Or even where's the there's John. There's John, yeah. Yeah, dude. I gotta get more of those on there. Cause you can like add your own sounds and shit. Okay. So yeah, dude. I don't know, bro. So uh, I don't know. I got a few random fucking topics. We'll probably jump around a lot. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Um, I was talking with um I was talking with Cam. I want to start a band. I think we should start a band.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Well, yeah, you know I'm ready, man. Are you you play you play guitar, right? I play guitar, I play bass. Oh, bass too. Yeah. Okay, perfect. I think all we need is a drummer. I can play some drums too.

SPEAKER_04 8:37

You can play drums too. I can do them all, man. Okay, okay. So we got a little bit to work with. Okay. What are we gonna do? Like probably hardcore, like some of like heavy metal type of shit.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

I'm trying to play some angry shit. I'm with that.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

I'm with that.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

What are you are you screaming? Is that what's going on?

SPEAKER_04 8:54

Um, here's my thing. I've tried screaming.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

What do you bring to the table?

SPEAKER_04 8:58

I can sing. I could sing, I can't scream though. I've tried screaming, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

So we might need to get a second guy to scream. But I could sing.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

I could scream too. So you could scream. No shit, really. I'm doing all the things here.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

God damn it. You're like a one-man band.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Yeah, I don't need you. Just fuck you. I'll start it my.

SPEAKER_04 9:19

Gave me the idea. What's gonna be the name though? If we're gonna do a heavy metal, we need like a real hardcore name.

SPEAKER_03 9:26

Yeah, we do. You know, something like Do you listen to slam metal at all? What's that? So it's just it's just like heavy breakdowns, groovy breakdowns, and like all the lyrics are just disturbing, and like they have the best band names, right? Okay, there's this so there's this band I'm listening to right now. They're called Pee-Pee Poo-Poo Balsectomy. Oh wow, I like that. Yeah, they really so I think something along those lines is what where we're gonna want to go with it. Okay, just absurd. Yeah, really absurd.

SPEAKER_04 9:55

I don't know. Okay. How about fucking I don't know, Comeface Johnson and the uh the edgy boys. The edgy boys. The edgy boys. Yeah, okay. How about that?

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Come face Johnson. The edgy boys. The first thing that came to mind. I like it. Hmm.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

But if you we decide we want to do something like real hardcore, like real aggressive, we could do something like uh wringing the necks of newborn babies. Yeah. Or something like that, you know.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

We could do like uh like newborn prolapse fetish or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

Newborn prolapse fetish.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

Yeah.

unknown 10:37

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

More extreme. More extreme. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

How about how about the night knife to the neck rapists?

SPEAKER_03 10:45

That's good. That's a good one. You think that? You know, I think incorporating rape in any way, yeah. That's kind of a route we want to go. Yeah, yeah, that'll hook people in. Okay. For sure. Um Newborn Prolapse Rape Baby. Newborne Prolapse Rape Baby. And they gotta be long too.

SPEAKER_04 11:04

You want long names, long specific names.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Yeah, yeah. Fucking um I really like the newborn prolapse rape baby has a ring. It kind of does. I think it does. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

And we gotta do like real aggressive like names, too. Like, how about how about uh, you know, our new song could be hey faggot, let me see what your flames or something like that. Yeah, you like that?

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, hey, hey fag, let me see what you're made of.

SPEAKER_04 11:34

Hey fag, let me see what you're made of. Yeah. We could be called uh the slave owners. How about that? Okay, we start. Let's go down that route. Yeah, why not? It's hardcore. We want to be edgy, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Okay, yeah, yeah. We yeah, we want to break barriers.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

So break barriers.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Rape and racism. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 11:54

Let's I hope I'm getting you in the right head headspace for this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

The wheels are turning. Okay. Um so we couldn't uh I'm trying to I'm what I'm trying to do is incorporate my rape baby prolapse with the African American community. With the community shout out, yeah. I'm trying to shout out the community. Some something along the lines of a crack baby is really what I'm going for. How about the black labia murder? That's good. Yeah, that's a playoff the black dahlia murder. Correct. I like that.

SPEAKER_04 12:31

Yeah. Okay. Okay. The black labia murder. Because we kill black pussy. Yeah. That's what all our songs are about.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Which I do.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

Speaking of black pussy, I'm convinced that song Winona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus is about Black Pussy. What else would that song be about? It's gotta be. Okay, Winona, black name, right? Yeah. Wrong? It's gotta be a black name, right? Big brown beaver, who else would have a big brown beaver?

SPEAKER_03 12:57

That's that speaks for itself.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

But then I mean, I would say Les Claypool definitely slayed Black Pussy.

SPEAKER_04 13:07

I could see it.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

He's a bass player.

SPEAKER_04 13:09

Probably got the long fingers, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:12

He's probably got a big dick.

SPEAKER_04 13:13

I could see it.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Les claypool?

SPEAKER_04 13:15

He's probably tall, isn't he? Tall? He's got yeah, he's tall. He's probably fucking got a big dick, dude.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

I bet you you can finger real well with those fingers. That's what I'm saying. And he just he gives off big dick aura. Yeah. You know. I could see it.

SPEAKER_04 13:28

And like well, he fucking sings about the DMV. Yeah. There's Les. There we go. I gotta work on my timing.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

Yeah, Les Claypool definitely slays Black Pussy. So I'm with you on that. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 13:54

I could see that. Um how about for a name, uh, band name, Rage Against the Cashier. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Kind of like a cart narcs vibe.

SPEAKER_04 14:04

Yeah, or we could be like a bunch of Karens, right? Yeah. You know what I mean? We get like the little fucking fruit cut done.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Yeah, for sure. So like I'm I'm on cart duty. Put away your cart. Yes. Yes. Rage against the cashier. You're a couponer. I'm a couponer. That's your okay.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

Yeah, I got plenty of them. And if you're not gonna honor them, there's gonna be a problem.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

There's no expiration on my coupons.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

There's no expiration.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

That's a good song named uh expired coupon. Expired coupons. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

Why not write song? Why not write a song about that? Yeah, I think that's basically what Primus does, right? Just write songs about fucking whatever.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

I mean, I think if we we could definitely write songs about Karen's reactions to things, that's metal as fuck. Yeah. Like when you think about it. Like, I mean, and they all end in murder with the Karen murdering the subject of the you know cut off in traffic or no parking too close to someone, like then it just ends in the Karen murdering the person. Yeah, yeah. Like that's that's good material for a metal song for sure.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

She's just like screaming, like fucking visceral screaming. You're too close, vocal fry screaming. Hell yeah. Yeah, I think that would be. I mean, because like honestly, what else are you gonna do with these Karen's, right? You gotta do something with them, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:27

I like Karen's. You like Karen's, really. That's a hot take. I think that I think in our society, I think we need more Karen's. This is a hot take. Really? Let's hear it. Well, there's so much just disorder. There is some people are just getting away with that, whatever the hell they want to get away with. There's no standards anymore. You know, you're kind you make a good point. You look at on an airplane, the behavior on airplanes lately. I don't know if you've seen some of the smoke detector alarm. Um, you know, there's some serious behavior going on there that I think a good Karen with a bob cut can really jump in and and you know, kind of deal with those sorts of situations. That is true. I think we need to celebrate our Karen's. You know, they got their bad rap. I mean, there's it's been a good decade period of the Karen's getting a bad rap.

SPEAKER_04 16:15

You know, I like that. I like you're taking a different angle on this.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:18

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

I I don't I don't know. I just Karen's are what holds this society together.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

They hold society, okay. All right. I mean, honestly, I do see like their place, you know? And I do agree that yeah, there's too many people just doing what the fuck ever. There needs to be some sort of order. I don't know. I guess it's the entitlement that puts me off.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Yes. They really never contribute to society. Yeah. So there is that. Yeah. But I guess I mean, how edgy can we get on here?

SPEAKER_04 16:55

It's it's whatever you want to say. All right.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

I mean, I think Karen's keep the blacks in line. Okay, there we go. Yeah. And I think you can't have big strong white man goes and tries to, you know, blacks acting out. I think they do. Although I think that ends in violence. It does. But the Karen, it's not gonna end in violence.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

That is true.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

It's gonna end in a resolution. A resolution.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

I mean, if you think about it, there are there are some parallels between the Karen's and the blacks, you know.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

Right, but their energies match. Entitlement. Their energy You got it. You're on, yeah. Now you're picking up what I'm putting down. Yeah. That energy match, it's almost like a Karen can speak to a black, you know, and they can resonate on a there's a level they resonate on that. I could see that it just doesn't work otherwise. Yeah, I could see. Okay, okay, I see where you're at. We got yeah, fake hair. Yeah, fake hair. That's another thing. That's another one. I mean, couponing and stealing from the grocery store, very similar in a way.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

Yeah, EBT is basically a form of couponing, right? There you go. Yeah, okay. We're checking boxes here. What's blacker, B E T or EBT?

SPEAKER_03 18:17

Oh, EBT for sure. Yeah, you're probably right. Because, like, well, the B E T owner's like a right-wing conservative. Like is that true? Oh, yeah. No shit, really? Yeah, he's a Trump supporter. Oh, wow. He's a black Trump supporter. Damn, he's like, my plan is coming to fruition. He's done it.

unknown 18:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:39

Oh, you thought I was on your side.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Watch, watch my station. Watch my award show.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

Yeah. We just got bought out by Fox News.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

Yeah. It's all working.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

That would be funny if fucking Fox News bought out BET.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

I could see it happening. I really could. But but they'd relegate it to like the streaming service side of Fox News. Like it wouldn't be on cable anymore. Yeah, yeah. You'd have to buy the the live stream package. Yeah, yeah. Like, join BET only on Fox Nation. You gotta pay extra for it.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

It's like Glenn back on Wild and Out.

SPEAKER_06 19:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

Shapiro and Glenn back.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

Well shit. If there's more than two genders, how the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 19:35

I don't like these trannies.

SPEAKER_04 19:37

I don't like these trannies. Man, you looking so fucked up. You look old and wrinkly like a granny. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, dude. Here. Actually, here. I'm gonna take a pause. Alright, we're back. We're back. We're back. Did you uh did you see people or are fucking up in arms about the uh Super Bowl halftime show? I did. I'm up in arms. Are you up in arms? I'm up in arms. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

Let's hear it. But the guy doesn't speak English. I think here's what I think. Hear me out here. This would be the perfect. Okay. This is how we heal a country. Okay. Okay. We bring we bring back Creed. Creed. Creed back for the halftime show. That's American as fuck, dude. Nature heals. They put on the best halftime performance of all time, Dallas Cowboys. I don't know if you've seen that. Okay. There's people flying from the rafters, singing higher. Oh, that's crazy. It's beautiful. It's it brings a tear to my eye. Okay. And I just think. I'm for that. Why can't we just? I mean, in the in the wake of Charlie Kirk's murder. The last the least we can do. It was his favorite band.

SPEAKER_06 20:58

It was his favorite band.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

The least we can do is bring back Creed.

SPEAKER_04 21:04

They've had the comeback of the fucking century.

SPEAKER_03 21:07

They have. It's perfect.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

Three years ago, everyone was shitting on them. Then they came back a year later fucking selling out amphitheaters and shit.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

I just I want him come down on you know some high wire, some hot step. And he should he should relapse on stage. Relapse on stage. This is nature.

SPEAKER_04 21:28

Ceremoniously. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Just everyone raise your glass. Can you take me out?

SPEAKER_04 21:36

And then just cat pull. And then like three songs later, he's just like talking shit about Obama.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Go on a rant. Yeah. Fucking bad buddy guy.

SPEAKER_04 21:50

Fuck this guy. You find out he's pro Israel. You're like, oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

Ooze. And then everyone's like, damn it.

unknown 21:59

Oh

SPEAKER_03 22:00

God damn, we thought we had one. Well, we tried. We tried. What are your thoughts on Bad Bunny?

SPEAKER_04 22:07

I mean, I think he's cool. I got no problem with Bad Bunny. Um, but I mean, yeah, no one's gonna understand the songs.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

That's what I that's why I don't like it. It's like, what are we doing? Like, why I don't know. I don't know. I think that's just I'm such a like old soul with that shit though. That's fair. That's fine.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

I think we should have Primus play the Super Bowl Time show.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

Yes. Jerry was a race car driver.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Yeah, with a bunch of black women twerking around them. Yes, yes. Perfect.

SPEAKER_04 22:43

Yeah, dude, that's perfect. That's what America needs. That would be healing. How about instead of uh bad bunny, it was uh bad chutney, and he's Indian.

unknown 22:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

Like an Indian bad bunny with his hands, yeah. Just eating shit.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

Yeah. Dude, I don't know. Do you know that's how they choose the president in India? Whoever has the most powerful odor? Is it really? Yeah, dude. Okay, yeah, yeah. Whoever has the most powerful odor has the most powerful fucking leadership skills. You're right. They get your attention. Exactly, dude. Okay. It's a way of establishing dominance over there.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

That that Indian street food, man. It why is my Instagram full of people?

SPEAKER_04 23:32

Yeah, isn't it, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Why is my algorithm point even there?

SPEAKER_04 23:36

Yeah, just motor oil frying things in motor oil with your bare hands and it flies. I'm watching the content though. I don't know why. It's just fascinating, bro. I don't know why people or like have you ever seen the ones where it's like they have like the sugary treats and there's just bees all over them?

unknown 23:58

No.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

I swear to god, there's just bees. Like, don't even try to do anything to prevent bees from getting all of your product. It's just bees everywhere. No, it's nuts, dude. I don't know. Like, I I know it's you know, maybe it's corny or whatever to say, you know, the the Indians smell bad, but the there's one glaring issue with it, and that it's uh it's true, you know.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

I don't know if you're have you seen uh there's some clip of like they're I don't know, they're like someone's interviewing people on a college campus, and they're like, what's like the truest thing about this college campus? And they're like, Yeah, it smells. It does smell because it's like an 80% college campus.

SPEAKER_04 24:37

It it does smell. I hate listen, I'm neutral on this, but it does smell. I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

The rumors are true, yeah. Like, damn, the whole they invet like invaded the campus. Insane. But yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

I that's what I heard. They use the stench as a way to assert dominance over other people. That's why they need someone super over to lead.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

That happens in the animal kingdom. I mean, so I wouldn't I wouldn't put it past them, you know. Yeah. It's a defense mechanism. It's a defense mechanism for sure.

SPEAKER_04 25:09

But then I don't know. They'll be like, I don't know. You know, just because you know, some cultures are different, you know, doesn't mean it's okay to make fun of them, you know. Sure they rape more women than any other ethnic group, but you know, it's it's a different culture, you know.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Just because a culture's different doesn't mean it's right. It doesn't okay, you know, it's or does it?

SPEAKER_04 25:34

Listen, you gotta be more open-minded about diversity. Exactly. Listen, rape is looked at much differently there. You know, for women in India, it's actually a rite of passage to get raped. It really is, you know. But that doesn't mean you know it's okay to make fun of it. Right. Exactly. See, it's all about being open-minded to other cultures. That's just how they live. That's just how they live, dude.

SPEAKER_06 26:04

Any thoughts?

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Well, a few. I mean, listen, dude. I'm trying not to make fun of it, because you planted that seed, and it's pretty hard not to, because it's not okay.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

That's kind of why I make fun of them a lot, because that kind of is a thing there.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:30

And I think that warrants you being made fun of a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Why do you think that is? What why is it so prevalent there?

SPEAKER_04 26:38

Well, because I don't imagine they're very successful in pulling uh gash. I mean, like, as an Indian man, I would assume, you know.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

They are awkward.

SPEAKER_04 26:50

And we already covered the uh odor.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

Yeah. It might all just come back to that. So that's two strikes. Awkward, odor, and just and the moan. I've never you know, I've never been with an Indian woman. Yeah. Um, but I would assume that moan's gotta be annoying. I annoyed they're just always doing that. There's no way it can't be. You gotta be like, shut up, and that's the only way. That's the only way to get off.

SPEAKER_04 27:20

Well, then the other thing too is the you know, the the shitting in the street thing. That's like an actual thing.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

That's real.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

That's a real thing.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

There's no sewers.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

There's no sewers, there's no it literally has become part of their culture. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

They love shit.

SPEAKER_04 27:34

They love shit. You know, what do you want me to say?

SPEAKER_03 27:37

I mean, poop jokes are tale as old as time. How do you not expect you gotta make fun of it? 25% of this podcast is poop jokes. There you go. We have to talk about Indians so much.

SPEAKER_04 27:49

We have fucking like I've come up with like probably four, five, six different like poop drama ideas. Poop dramas. Poop dramas. Well, actually, what I really want to do, what I've been thinking about recently, is uh I want to do like a documentary on like poop rap and poop rappers, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 28:09

What uh you gotta get me up to speed who that was left field. What exactly is a poop drama? So I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

Like, I like the idea. So I don't think poop is explored enough as like a topic, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 28:32

There's depth to poop. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

Like, and I've done this bit, you know, way longer on a popcast, but like I wanted to like make like a like kind of like a remember the titans type of like sports drama, but it's instead of football, it's like competitive shitting. Oh, okay. And there's like, you know, racial tension and like things of that thing. You know, it kind of started from that, and it kind of gave me the idea. I'm like, you know, there's so many good ideas for like serious movies that could revolve around poo.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

Okay, you know what I mean? For the Titans. Yeah. Okay. The poop father.

SPEAKER_04 29:12

The poop father. You come to me on the day of this wedding.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

You come, you got a sack of poo.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

You come, you gonna you come to me on the day of this wedding and ask for a fucking 13-inch piece of shit.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

You pull up with a trunk full of poo. A trunk full of poo on a wedding day.

SPEAKER_04 29:32

On a goddamn wedding day. Where's your fucking manners?

SPEAKER_03 29:39

Why's him? You know there's no poop today. There's no fucking poop.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

You don't bring pool on the day of my daughter's wedding. Today of all days. Today of all days. Johnny. Johnny, on the day of all days, you pull up with a goddamn trunk full of steaming shits. Everyone's talking about it. They're trying to do the ceremony, everyone's talking about how it fucking smells like. Yeah, and he's here you are saying no. It's not enough. I want a bigger shit. Let me tell you something. This is business. This is business. This is greed. This is greed. You got a literal a trunk full of fucking Cadillac trunk.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Poop.

SPEAKER_04 30:29

And you want more poop. What the fuck is your problem?

SPEAKER_03 30:35

Vinny, the Vinny, your daughter's marrying that Indian guy. I thought it was gonna be something that she would like.

SPEAKER_04 30:44

Listen, your daughter's marrying that Indian guy, and I don't he's a nice poop was a good gift. He's a gift. It's a gift, Vinny. It's a g it is. Well, I don't know if you s I don't know if you saw him. But the second everyone left the room, he he shoveled it right into his mouth. It was his favorite gift. It's a it's his favorite snack. I don't know. They it's a delicacy over there. It's like a part of the cuisine.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Maybe you gotta get to know your son-in-law a little better. Yeah, I don't you talk about my son-in-law like that. Don't you talk about it? I know my I know my son-in-law's poop fetish better than anyone. He he just loves he loves the taste of shit and diarrhea. He likes it runny, Johnny.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

He's a good kid, but you know what? I uh my daughter's supposed to meet some fucking dude that loves chugging shit. I'm doing my best here. Literally, I mean I mean he chugs it.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

He's got a funnel.

SPEAKER_04 31:44

He's got a funnel. He's got a funnel. He he every night he goes to sleep with a cup of diarrhea next to him. So that way if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he doesn't have to leave the bed to have more of his diarrhea. It's a problem. If you he wakes up and and the cup's missing, he's like, Where is my cup of diarrhea? And he's panicking.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

Where is my diarrhea?

SPEAKER_04 32:15

Where is my diarrhea? I need it now.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

He gets the shakes.

SPEAKER_04 32:19

He gets the shake, yeah. And he finally finds it and he he's holding it with two hands and he's shaking, and he's just and his like eyebrows are raised as he's drinking it. Just so much relief. Oh, Jesus Christ. This podcast doesn't deserve any listens. It really doesn't. This is fun though, right? Yeah, I could do this all day. Yeah, this is fun.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

This is my new hobby. Can I come back? Fuck yeah, dude. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_04 32:57

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

This is good.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

You gotta get more of those. So more sounds going.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

You gave him fucking shit, Vinny.

SPEAKER_04 33:12

Vinny, you gave him yeah, he fucking loves it. Look at him. He's got a flask with diarrhea in it. Nipping it. He's nipping at it. He's like he's sneaking away to the bathroom to sip on it on the diarrhea. I mean, yeah, between you know, you don't want everyone else to know, but like he loves it, bro.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

Why did you let your daughter with this guy? What do you see in him? Look, have you seen their outfits? Those fancy Indian outfits. Yeah, there are a lot of lot of gold.

SPEAKER_04 33:49

A lot of gold and razzle dazzle. A lot of razzle dazzles.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

Gold chains.

SPEAKER_04 33:57

A lot of fucking, you know. You see that little dot on the forehead. I'm like, what is that?

SPEAKER_03 34:04

You go punk and it's like a little button comes out.

SPEAKER_04 34:09

Yeah, just shit. Comes out. It's like a Coca-Cola freestyle. Just thank you.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

I'll take diarrhea this time. I'll take oh, ooh, peach. Oh, you ate eight peach diarrhea.

SPEAKER_04 34:33

Oh. Fuck me, I'm getting harper.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

From all this shit.

SPEAKER_04 34:40

From all this shit. Just constantly chugging shit. Jesus Christ. Man, yeah. So this is basically what this podcast is. Talking shit. Talking shit, yeah, a lot of that. I was thinking about this. What if there was a member, like a member of the Crips, right? And he needed a blood transfusion, but he but he didn't want to say blood because he's a crit. You know what I mean? So he's like trying to explain to the doctor. I need like, uh, yeah, my uh, my uh, my, my, my inner liquids are bad. I need new inner liquids, doc.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

I need my oil changed.

SPEAKER_04 35:22

I need my oil changed. I need my you know, you know it the the the red stuff. I need it bad. It's bad.

SPEAKER_03 35:29

You can't say red either.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Oh, fuck. Okay. Uh uh. You know, you know when you you know you get a paper cut and you know the it gets runny, you know, the runner stuff. I need the run it, I need new running stuff, doc. I need I need my runner stuff replaced. I need the opposite of blue in me. Opposite of blue in me. The opposite of blue. Wait, wait, no, no, I didn't say that. Nope. Somebody's listening to me. They got my phone tapped. They're gonna take that out of context. They're gonna think I'm a traitor. That'd be quite the predicament to be in, though, I think. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:09

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:12

They put themselves in those predicaments.

SPEAKER_04 36:15

Yeah. Yeah, they do. I guess that's that's something they don't, you know, one of the let them bleed out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Sorry. Sorry, sorry. Well I like bloods more than cribs. That's why I said oh yeah. That's what I was talking about.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

He's it's a preference, dude. I think we did that. I think we did that joke.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

He's like, yeah, he's not he's not racist, he's just he prefers the other. I I discern I use discernment. I use judgment. Yeah, I use judgment. I collect the facts at hand.

SPEAKER_04 36:58

Yeah, he he's just like he's taking it all in and he just knows what he likes. That's it. That's it. He just knows what he likes. They know what they like. They know what they they know what they like.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

They do. They do. And it's a lot bigger and a lot better.

SPEAKER_04 37:23

A lot bigger and a lot better, yeah. Yeah, it is. Oh boy, it's getting hot in here. I'm gonna take another break. Fucking, yeah, dude. We're back, back in business. Um, I don't know, some more bullshit for you. How about this? Um how about like, you know, the movie Mean Girls, right? One of my favorite movies of all time. Really? Okay. Yeah. Alright. Not a bad movie, honestly. It's just a good watch. It's a fair while. I mean, it's been a while since I saw it. Some nostalgia. But what if it was like less girly? What if it was like more had more like dyke energy to it? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 38:04

What if there was mean trans?

SPEAKER_04 38:06

Mean trans, yeah. Something like that. Or like instead of uh instead of Regina George, it's Regina George. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Something bowl cut. Bull bowl hefty, you know? Hefty one. Bottom heavy.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

So kind of flip the script on it. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Yeah, I like that. It's like a fucking, it's like a like the local 937 or some shit. Just like like one feminine woman that's just there for some reason.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

She wants to get it to turn you into a dike.

SPEAKER_04 38:40

Yeah, she wants to get into welding. She's intimidated by all the like the dike welders there.

SPEAKER_03 38:47

Yeah. She's a farm girl. Mean girls. What would we call it though?

SPEAKER_04 38:53

Uh mean, mean stud girls. Mean stud girls.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

Mean, I think mean queers. Mean queers. Each person in the group's a different queer. Yeah. The one like the the dumb ones, like the tranny, you know. I like I like the aggressiveness of it. Mean queers. Mean queers. Mean fags. And everyone's like trying to be a queer. Like they just want to be part of the queers, man. I just want to be a fucking queer. Yeah. It's like, you're not queer enough. Fucking bitch.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

Yeah, and it's kind of basically like representative of like, you know, what it's like to be in Hollywood now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

Or in high school now. Or in high school. I think it's basically turned into that.

SPEAKER_04 39:43

Yeah, it's just invil, you get bullied for being not gay. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

Exactly. Shocks are like losers now. Yeah. It's like you're not even fucking queer. This dude likes girls, bro.

SPEAKER_04 39:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Bully football.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

This dude likes girls. What a fucking fag, bro. This dude likes girls, bruh. That's what it is now.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Fucking insane.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Come on, brat, let's go kiss in the back locker room. Kiss him. Kiss him.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Fucking loser. Kiss him, bro. He doesn't even have a boner.

SPEAKER_04 40:17

The big games tonight. How am I supposed to play my best without my kiss? Yeah, it's just mean queers. Mean queers. Yeah, dude. I like that. Alright. Check that off a box.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

Alright, we got that movie idea done. Yeah. That was easy.

SPEAKER_04 40:39

Yeah. Um I don't know if you've seen this recently. Well, this is like probably a few weeks old at this point. But uh apparently the Japanese have figured out a way to delete the Downs syndrome gene. Have you seen that? Leave it to the Japs. Leave it to the Japs, you know. Yeah, to just to get rid of the most innocent group of people that's ever fucking.

SPEAKER_03 41:07

Why are we trying to get rid of the Downs people? Honestly, bro. We need them.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

We need them now more than literally the most friendly, like innocent group of people.

SPEAKER_03 41:18

Yeah. I mean, we need more of that. We need more Downs energy. And just eradicate that.

SPEAKER_04 41:25

Never done anything to anyone except one thing. I've brought this up on this podcast multiple times, and I won't let it be forgotten. High school, kid with Down syndrome, did take the hat off my head, throw it into a porta potty, then pull it out and put it back on my head.

SPEAKER_03 41:40

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 41:40

He did do that.

SPEAKER_03 41:42

I think there is some energy in high school. Kids with Down syndrome, they think they run the school.

SPEAKER_04 41:49

They are that I think he knew what he was doing.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Maybe mean downs might be might be what we have to go with.

SPEAKER_04 41:57

But it's like, dog, like I s that's a true. I swear to god that actually happened. I believe it. And it's like, what am I supposed to do? I can't swing on a dude with Down syndrome. Equality. Yeah. Well, I I mean, I just froze up. I didn't know what to do.

SPEAKER_03 42:11

Well, there's maybe I'm a bitch, but like I wouldn't know what to do either, man. I don't know. That's definitely another character in mean queers, though. Mean queers. Because you got, okay, we got the dike, we got the tranny. You gotta have the downs in there.

SPEAKER_04 42:26

Yeah. Fuck it. Throw them in there. We need another we need another click.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Part part of the same group, though. Okay. They're all friends.

SPEAKER_04 42:33

They're all friends.

SPEAKER_03 42:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 42:36

That's another, yeah. But yeah, we had. There was two downs. I don't know if they were downs. They were downs adjacent. Downs adjacent. Yeah, they were.

SPEAKER_04 42:46

They were kind of down.

SPEAKER_03 42:47

Yeah. Kind of down with the sickness. They were down with the sickness.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

Syndrome of a down.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

They had a couple screws knocked loose.

SPEAKER_04 43:01

But uh they were 21 chromosomes.

SPEAKER_03 43:05

Instead of 21 pilots. You wrenched that in there. Yeah. I appreciate that. Yeah, there was two of them. They uh they played on the football team.

SPEAKER_04 43:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

And you know, do you go hard on the, you know, do you do you light them up?

SPEAKER_04 43:24

Well, were they were they like solid like boulders? Well total boulders. Yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 43:29

I bet they fucking were. I mean just dense.

SPEAKER_04 43:31

Oh, I bet they were probably the most feared players.

SPEAKER_03 43:34

They were dense in a few different ways. That's for sure. Yeah. Like D line. Like all right, the Wheaties, that was their name. Twins. The Wheaties. Twin towns, the Wheaties. The Wheaties. I'm dead serious. That sounds The Wheaties, dude.

SPEAKER_04 43:52

That sounds so much worse.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

You're on scout defense. Alright, Wheaties, get in there. You know? Bro, all right, raviolis. The one. Back in the three tech. All right, spaghettios, come on. And then they'd be like, Coach, can I get in? Can I get in, coach? One coach would go, Go play in traffic. Jesus Christ. So he said, Jesus Christ. Go play in traffic.

SPEAKER_06 44:17

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

But they like thought they were so good at football. You know, so it's kind of like back to your story of like they have this superiority.

SPEAKER_04 44:26

Yeah, I guess you know, it doesn't matter if you have document or not. You know, part of football is, you know, humble. Be humble.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

You know.

SPEAKER_03 44:36

If you're a white football player.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

If you're, you know.

SPEAKER_04 44:41

You know, gifted in other ways.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:45

I don't know, dude. I don't know. Well, but like, I don't know. For the most part, though, I think those down pe down children people are some of the friendliest, most innocent people I've ever met in my life. Why are but if you think about it, it wouldn't be the first time the Japanese have tried to eradicate this group of people.

SPEAKER_03 45:03

I was hoping we'd circle back to why are the Japs doing that.

SPEAKER_04 45:06

Yes, yes. Wouldn't be the first time.

SPEAKER_03 45:09

Yeah, they have they love homogeny, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_04 45:13

They do. Maybe, maybe they thought the uh the Down syndrome people were Chinese, and that's why they're trying to get rid of them.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

They kind of look like it.

SPEAKER_04 45:22

They kinda got the eyes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

They kind of got the eyes. They got the eyes. They got the eyes a little bit. Leave it to the Japs, though. Yeah. I mean.

SPEAKER_04 45:35

I mean, I get they're all about, you know, efficiency.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

They like the uniformity.

SPEAKER_04 45:41

You like uniformity, you know, everything's got a lot of looks like everything's got a lot of right angles and shit if you go over there. Yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 45:48

Very true.

SPEAKER_04 45:50

You know, they like conformity.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

Yeah, they do. You know, and uh a great subway system, you know.

SPEAKER_04 45:57

Yeah, I would I imagine, you know, people down syndrome are a little bit harder to uh there's not many accommodations.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

Either you go with this society to a T. Yeah. Or you're out, you're ostracized.

SPEAKER_04 46:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:15

Listen, Johnny, everyone here has a normal size small chest. I know you've got those nice down syndrome breasts of yours, but they're voluptuous. They're voluptuous. Speaking of Down syndrome breasts, there's a dude at work. No, it's not a chick. But every time I you you just see him through the t-shirt every time. And I always fantasize about going up to him being like, Jim, I gotta be honest. Can I please you just have the nicest breasts I've ever seen in my entire life? Can I please can I just touch one of them? Just for a couple seconds. Little slam dunk. Just a little under the breast. You know, just smack it back down. Yeah, just let me let me feel the weight of it.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

You know.

SPEAKER_04 47:03

Let me feel the weight of it, you know.

SPEAKER_03 47:05

Does it feel like a female breast? That's what I would want to know.

SPEAKER_04 47:08

It was a little flatter looking, but you know, I think they could pass. Feel though.

SPEAKER_03 47:13

I wonder.

SPEAKER_04 47:15

I I haven't feel I haven't been blessed with the opportunity to have a feel. Okay. I haven't felt a female breast. It's been a while. For me. It's been a while. Yeah. It has been a while. I don't know. What if uh what if there was a guy that was uh driving past Burger King and you know how it says have it your way? Okay, yes. But you know how it says uh have it your way. What if he read it as have your way? Oh and he's like, ooh, I'm gonna have my way with a double whopper junior. You know? I'm gonna have my way with a with a cashier.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

Chicken fries.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

The chicken fries. Shove it right up your sphincter. Yummy. That's a character I like playing with. I like doing that as like Jeffrey Epstein, like a version of Jeffrey Epstein, but like every like he doesn't have to, he doesn't know to hide that he's a pedophile. You know? He's just like, like, you know, like excuse me, you know, attention. There is an unattended child in A13. Ooh, an unattended child. Unattended child. No, Jeffrey actually, no, it's okay. I'll take him.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

Yeah, the Down syndrome bagger.

SPEAKER_04 48:44

Yeah, you know what I mean. He's just very open with it. I like that I as a character.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

Yeah. You know what I mean? He just sees the pedophilia in every situation in the world. Yeah. Every your everyday scenarios. He finds a way to pedo it up.

SPEAKER_04 49:00

Yes. He's like, ooh, I hear I hear there's a lot of children in the new um uh fucking what's the new kids movie that's come out lately?

SPEAKER_03 49:12

Uh Coco.

SPEAKER_04 49:14

Coco. Ooh, you want to go see Coco? I hear there's a lot of Mexican young children. A lot of children.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

A lot of Mexican's fries.

SPEAKER_04 49:28

Ooh, thank you so much for coming over, Mr. President. I have a gift for you. It's a child to have sex with. I'll have it my way. I'll have it my way.

SPEAKER_00 49:40

I'll have my way with it.

SPEAKER_04 49:43

I'm gonna have my way. I'm gonna have my way with a double whopper junior.

SPEAKER_03 49:49

Uh yeah, I'll just get a whopper. Yeah, just a single. It's just like his inner monologue is fucked. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:56

Do you remember those Burger King commercials where it was like the dude in the mask?

SPEAKER_02 49:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:00

Those were great. Those were something, bro. What was the point of that? Because wasn't like the point of it kind of to be creepy?

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Yeah, I think well, they did they give out masks with like the meals?

SPEAKER_04 50:13

Like, I want to say they did at a point.

SPEAKER_03 50:16

I I got a couple theories. Let's hear one of them. Well. This was before the COVID era masks. And before they wore those, what are those gator uh masks called?

SPEAKER_04 50:32

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

I forget. You know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

Or like covers your nose and mouth.

SPEAKER_04 50:39

The N95?

SPEAKER_03 50:41

The N95. The N95. So I think that they were handing out masks for uh a little thievery. Tupac and biggery for their clientele. Yeah. Free masks for uh their clientele. Yeah. See what I'm getting at here. I see, I see. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 51:00

I see.

SPEAKER_03 51:01

I think that might it might have been something like that. Okay. It's like here, come to Burger King and uh you can hit the Walgreens next door right after and get your essentials.

SPEAKER_04 51:11

I wonder if that video with the dude with the Burger King mask on the airplane, you think that was secretly sponsored by Burger King? How's how's that for a conspiracy?

SPEAKER_03 51:19

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Becca, say that again.

SPEAKER_04 51:21

Okay, so do you know the video I'm talking about with the old dude wearing the Burger King mask on the airplane? No, I've never seen it. What? Bro.

SPEAKER_03 51:29

Pull it up. Pull that shit up.

SPEAKER_01 52:29

Call the fucking police right now. I know you said. You need me. We're gonna contact them. Thank you. You need to be my seat. Where is 25A? Where is 25A? Why did she just need me in the stomach? You deserve it. You get the money. You deserve it. You deserve it. Excuse me, I'm pulling my stomach. Take the little bitch off the body. Take the stomach and get it out of my seat, please. We won't take care of it. And I need to help you out.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

She gave me the stomach one. She deserved it.

SPEAKER_04 53:36

She deserved it. Okay. I tried my best to censor that for you guys.

SPEAKER_03 53:44

Did you? Listen, I I think I need to do the soundboard next time.

SPEAKER_04 53:50

You can have the soundboard next time.

SPEAKER_03 53:52

You're a little slow on the roll there.

SPEAKER_04 53:56

You're not the first to say that.

SPEAKER_03 53:58

No, I have seen that video. Okay, okay. So now I'm on the same page as you here.

SPEAKER_04 54:04

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

I have one of those crowns. I keep it around. Do you? Yeah, just you never know.

SPEAKER_04 54:10

Just in case.

SPEAKER_03 54:10

You might need it.

SPEAKER_04 54:11

Just in case you're feeling in the spirit. Oh boy. Um. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

He deserved it.

SPEAKER_04 54:25

He deserved it, dude.

SPEAKER_03 54:27

Why did he deserve it? I don't know. What did he do?

SPEAKER_04 54:30

I don't know. I don't I would love to know the rest of the context of this video. I would love to know.

SPEAKER_03 54:35

I trust him. I trust the Burger King guy. Something happened. Maybe someone needs to uh, you know, sit in the back. I think. Take the back seat.

SPEAKER_04 54:46

If, you know, I think believe this is what the saying is.

SPEAKER_03 54:49

Yes. Back of the plane.

SPEAKER_04 54:53

How about uh back of the magic school bus? They did have one of them. Did they? Really? Oh well, yeah, yeah, they did.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Well. He didn't say much. Did he go to the back? Yeah, I would hope so. I would hope so. We need order in this world.

SPEAKER_04 55:16

Because it's the safest, it's the closest to the emergency exit guys. What the fuck is wrong with you, Peter?

SPEAKER_03 55:21

Yeah, he would be the one that holds the back latch open to open the door because he's the most capable of the stuff.

SPEAKER_04 55:28

He's taking on an extra responsibility and helping, you know. You people are fucking. Their minds.

SPEAKER_03 55:34

Why do their minds go where they go? Yeah, bro. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_04 55:38

What would make you think? Oh, I want to hit my fucking pen too. Damn it, there we go. You have to fucking like if you hit you if you do it like too fast, it won't fucking turn on. Because it's like one of those where you have to hit it five times.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

Oh yeah. Is it the ones where you have like multiple heat settings on it or whatever?

SPEAKER_04 56:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

Yeah. Always go to the high heat setting and just fry my fucking lungs.

SPEAKER_04 56:09

Yeah, literally, bro. Okay. Is it Sunday?

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Yeah. It's the Lord's Day.

SPEAKER_04 56:21

I meant to stop over at Grandma's. Well, I'll do it tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 56:26

Grandma, hopefully she's there tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 56:27

Hopefully she's there tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

I don't know. Is your grandma still around? My mom's side, Grandma is. My mom's so my grandma and my mom, my mom's side. My mom's one of eleven. Okay. So I think just I mean, she's got like a bzillion grandkids. Yeah. Right. So I think that's just keeping her alive. They live in this small town in the middle of nowhere, and like everyone is a golden retriever, and it's okay. It's just chaos. I think. But yeah, it's fun though. It's good shit. Yeah, I'm so she was just pregnant for like 30 years straight.

SPEAKER_04 57:04

Always pregnant, like Bonnie. Just from family guy.

SPEAKER_03 57:07

Pregnant, dude. Yeah. And then her husband, you know, my grandpa died at like 65. Oh shit. From a heart attack. Oh boy. Um, he was a judge and a smoker and a drinker, so yeah. So yeah, my uh my alcoholic grandfather uh basically just inseminated my grandmother for 25 years and then he croaked and got there to clean up the mess, dude. Okay, good luck.

SPEAKER_04 57:43

So yeah, I was on the airplane the other day and it smelled like curry, and of course there's only one person on the airplane, and we all know who it is, but you can't say it. You can't even say it.

SPEAKER_03 58:00

You can't say that.

SPEAKER_04 58:02

You can't say that he smells like curry. What everyone wants him to get off the plane, but you can't say that.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

It's just the air's just circulating.

SPEAKER_04 58:17

It's the same air circulating for hours.

SPEAKER_03 58:21

Same air, same problem.

SPEAKER_04 58:24

What is that beeping sound?

SPEAKER_03 58:33

That's not the smoke detector!

SPEAKER_04 58:38

I feel in danger. Oh, funny. Oh, funny. Fuck. I deserve to go to hell. I really do. How about um I don't know. How about like a guy gets a pipe bomb confiscated at an airplane, but he asks if he could have it back because he worked really hard on it.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

Do you think they would depends who the TSA agent is. If they're cool, right? They'd be like, let me see that.

SPEAKER_04 59:13

Yeah, bro. You don't need this is my stuff, dude.

SPEAKER_03 59:16

Alright. Can I at least like cut it?

SPEAKER_04 59:19

Come on, bro.

SPEAKER_03 59:19

Like, you know what I mean? Walk me through it. How does it work? Oh, that? Oh, so they s oh they'll cut the wrong cord on purpose?

SPEAKER_04 59:28

Yes, they will. That was probably one of the worst jokes I've ever made on this fucking podcast. You gotta try. I gotta try, man. I saw Airport and I was thinking, hey, maybe this is I could relate to this, so fuck it. No. I don't know. How about instead of the Jim Crow laws, it's the Jim Bro laws, right? And if you don't have more than 100 grams of protein a day, you go to jail.

SPEAKER_03 59:53

I like that. It would I mean maha, dude. Maha, dude. I mean creatine necessary.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:01

Mm-hmm. Separate separate the vinyl from the swole from the not swole.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:10

I think we gotta do that. Yeah. Extra shitters in the bro the Jim Bro bathroom for all the protein you gotta let loose.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:18

Ah, I see, I see. Special toilets, even.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:22

Bigger.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:23

Bigger.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:24

Bigger toilets.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:25

I've always toyed the i with the idea of a toilet with a bigger hole. Like a bigger flush hole. Because I I I like to imagine a guy who's having a problem that his shits are too wide and girthy, that he's constantly having to what is the unif who determined the uniform size of those? Some bitch that doesn't fucking make it big enough. Yeah. Either that or some twink guy. Probably drops little nugget shits, right? That'll work. That's a joke I should bring back. I used to joke do a joke on stage where uh my dad would say that uh he used to think I was gay because I would shit in nuggets.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:10

This fucking kid. This fucking kid shit in the biggest. Cindy, look at this! Look at this abomination.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:16

You shit in nuggets like he's fucking bambi or some shit, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:20

He's a fucking rabbit toad.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:21

He's a fucking dwink.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:22

Fucking rabbit toad twink.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:24

Fucking rabbit toad twink, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

I'll show him how a man shits.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:30

I'll show him how a fucking real man shits. You gotta take a big fucking stew again, Cindy. Make it dense, you know what I mean? Real fucking heavy.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:41

Make that stew again, Cindy, and we're gonna show him how it's done. We're gonna show him how it's done.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:45

Like a block heavy, like a block of tungsten. You know? Solid. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Alright, well, we're at an hour. How you feeling? You wanna keep going or you wanna end it? How you feeling? An hour's good. Hour's good. Alright, cool. Uh, I'll be a little bit more prepared next time because I feel like I was kind of just fucking going through shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

Well, we gotta get comfortable with our dynamic.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:18

Hey, that is also true.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:19

Yeah. That is also true. I feel like it snapped in pretty quick though.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:22

Yeah, I feel like at first it was a little eh, but then we kind of got into it. Yeah. I feel like once you realize like it's cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:33

Then but yeah, dude. I mean, yeah, we'll be back. Um, fucking yeah. Get over Scotty, everyone. Horrible hang and uh thanks for having me. Yeah, of course, dude. Um sure you'll be back, and yeah, dude, fucking horrible hang, you're gay.