Episode 24 - Indecent Exposure Therapy

kyle gets back from rehab, RFK jr has a problem, and andy picks up a new hobby/fetish.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Yeah, a lot has happened since the last time we recorded. I feel like we say that every episode, huh?

SPEAKER_05 0:16

We do say that every episode. But this time.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 0:20

We're lying.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Yeah, so like uh here, before how about this? Before we get started, before we get into it, I do want to do like a little uh guided meditation, you know, just to kind of start.

SPEAKER_07 0:31

Guided meditation. Yeah, you know, guided. Just to get us Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to kind of get us right into the mind right mind frame here.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_07 0:38

That's pretty genius.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Okay, so here. I think I got some.

SPEAKER_07 0:44

Mike adjusted. May I speak? Yes. It's calming.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

It's very calming. Alright, so how about you? Sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes, relax your face and shoulders. Place your palms on the side of your hips. Breathing slowly. Now slowly work your hands up your hips and down the inside of your pants. Now take your dominant middle finger and slowly move it down to your anus. Let it crown the tip of your finger. Inhale slowly. And while exhaling, gently insert your finger into your anus. Notice how it feels. Is it warm? Is it slimy? Don't be afraid to really get in there. And remove your finger from your rectum and slowly put it into your mouth as to remove the booty sauce from your finger. How does it taste? What is the texture like? Is it creamy? Is it runny? Why is my penis hard? And why do I daydream about getting a rough massage from older men? Does this mean I'm gay? It seems I'm confused by my own body. Do you think my wife has noticed I've been taking her estrogen pills? They make my nipples so tender. She keeps yelling at me for stealing her dental floss. Little does she know, I've been using it to wrap a tourniquet around the base of my penis. Hoping it eventually falls off like a skin tag. What if I told you I like to use Draino to remove the hair from my legs? Leaving them smoked and soft. Okay, alright. How do you feel?

SPEAKER_05 2:50

I feel risen.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

You feel risen? Good, good. I feel rebirthed. Good.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

I feel alive.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Like a wakeman lifted off your shoulder.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Why was that so fucking good?

SPEAKER_05 3:06

Oh my god. Good.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

I'm glad you feel like it's a good one. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 3:11

Jesus. Yeah. That was how you walked in. So I was I was participating until a point. I'm not gonna say when I stopped. I'm not. For my own records.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Fuck it.

SPEAKER_05 3:25

But to put your hands on your hands slowly.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

You know, you it's you want to get into this meditative space.

SPEAKER_05 3:34

Dominant middle finger. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

I was trying to take you into this, you know, that was the space.

SPEAKER_07 3:42

The steadiness and the calmness. I was in the space. I was everywhere. I was the space. It was so guided. Good. Five stars. Thank you. Five stars.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Maybe I should start my own uh like I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 3:55

Some kind of ASMR thing, but yeah, yoga class, definitely. Yeah. Yoga for the closeted homosexual man.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 4:03

That was amazing.

SPEAKER_05 4:05

Does my wife know she's taking her estrogen pill? Dude, that was like that was god dear. That was poetry. You should get you should be doing that on stage.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Thank you. It's awesome. Thank you. But uh no.

SPEAKER_05 4:21

If you got up and said, can I please guide you all into meditation? That would that would bring the fucking house down.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Not my usual style of comedy for stage, but I might consider it but just a one-off.

SPEAKER_07 4:34

I'm just gonna do something different here today, guys. This is never gonna happen again.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Mix it up, I guess.

SPEAKER_07 4:39

Just do it once. You say, I'm only doing this once, you're never gonna see this again. That was incredible.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

But no, I've been doing it.

SPEAKER_07 4:47

If you can get them to play the music, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Maybe. You know, talk with the fucking DJ beforehand.

SPEAKER_07 4:53

Let me do a comed comedic fucking what was that called? Like a relaxation. Guided meditation. Yeah, I want to do a I want to do a guided meditation. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Fucking, so no. I I've been doing a lot of uh, you know, meditating ever since. So I ended up going into rehab and uh because you know, hitting the bottle a little too hard. But it's cool.

SPEAKER_07 5:15

He was guiding his middle finger into his anus too much.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah, that was my addiction. That's what I went to group for. Like, I think I'm in the wrong group, but uh no. Anyway, um yeah. I don't know, dude. That was a trip. I was in there for 28 days, not going to work. I barely had my phone. You get like 45 minutes of phone time a day. And yeah, dude. So uh I don't know. My first day when I was in there, I was kind of thinking, like, you know, it would be cool if I just like, you know, unleash my God complex right now. Just kind of walk in there with the mindset, like, look at all these fucking losers. I'm better than everyone here. You know what I mean? Wow. And just like as a like as a coping mechanism, really. I don't actually think that. But it's like, you ever do that? You ever like kind of Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:04

Sometimes I have to to hype myself up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had to be like, you know what? Everybody else fucking sucks. I am the man here.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 6:11

I am. I do that straight up. I do that.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

It's fun to roleplay a little bit.

SPEAKER_07 6:15

It is, yeah. It gets it's a false sense of bravado and confidence that I could never find anywhere else.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

Yeah, there is something kind of romantic and beautiful about like completely dissolving yourself into a lie like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 6:27

Sometimes you have to. If you gotta lock in for something, you gotta be like, I am the fucking dude. Yeah, everybody else in here is behind me in this.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

It's good, it's whatever I'm doing.

SPEAKER_07 6:36

You have to. I think it's a necessary survival skill.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:39

If you ever want to be competitive at anything or be good at something, you have to go, you know what? Everybody else fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:47

I have the confidence I am the man, actually. But I think it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

I think it's funny, yeah. It's funny at times as long as you're using it correctly.

SPEAKER_06 6:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

But no, I don't know. I was thinking it'd be funny if like you could somehow like like in the rehab facility, like replace the water supply from the coffee machine with vodka.

SPEAKER_07 7:08

That would be in that would be quite a trip.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

You know, just watch nature and six, dude.

SPEAKER_07 7:12

Yeah, that would be great. Set everybody back.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:15

Potentially 27 days.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

See what everyone's really like. Yeah, not anybody.

SPEAKER_07 7:18

See what it yeah, that would be a fun party. When they're not on the body, probably it would probably be a fun party.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:23

Everybody getting their first booze in uh on average two weeks, that would be pretty fun. Yeah. Not gonna lie, that would be kick ass.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Yeah, dude. But yeah, I mean, honestly, like it sucked a lot, but like I'm glad I did it. And uh like I feel a lot better.

SPEAKER_07 7:39

Really? Yeah, I mean, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

I mean, my I feel that. Yeah, my problem with it a lot of is like my problem with that in like a lot of things is like I could justify literally anything in my head.

SPEAKER_07 7:49

Like same z's.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Dude, I remember like I was like literally at the peak of my alcoholism. I would have fucking like yellow eyes, and I would kill myself.

SPEAKER_07 7:58

Same-sees.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Yeah, and I would like convince myself it's okay because I've seen a few black people with yellow eyes, so it it you know that's how I justify it.

SPEAKER_07 8:09

Wow, for a while, you're like, I really am just a black guy. Yeah, you're always you're always just you're could you're a quarter, you're just you're so close to being just a full black guy.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

I'm so a black.

SPEAKER_07 8:20

If it was just based on self-belief, you would be a black guy. You'd be like, you'd be a cool 90s RB singer black guy. You would.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

I would love to be that.

SPEAKER_07 8:29

You have the you have so much more confidence as a black man.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

I do. That's my true self.

SPEAKER_07 8:33

I feel like I think it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Dude, fuck in. We watched a lot of like game shows when we were in there, because there's only one TV and you're limited to that while you can watch.

SPEAKER_07 8:41

Everybody, but wait, a group fa group family feud has made me friends, some of the best friends of my life with some of the worst people I've ever met.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_07 8:49

If you just have Family Feud on, everybody can get along. I mean, we could uh this is a tale as old as time. I was like 17 years old with random people, and you just wake up in the house after a party and fucking feuds on it. It's like, wait, do I love these people? Will I die for them? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

It's fun, dude.

SPEAKER_07 9:05

Yes, it's the best.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Dude, fucking game shows would be so boring without black people.

SPEAKER_07 9:12

Just without Steve Harvey.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Yeah, I mean, any game show really, they're what bring the life to it, too. You want to see a bunch of like white guys be like, nope, thumbs up, this is another thing.

SPEAKER_07 9:23

When I play games with my family when I was a still white person and I just had white family, yeah. G boring games are boring as hell.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 9:30

When I play games with my black family, because I I'm proxy by marriage, I'm a I'm a white-skinned black guy now. Honorary. It's way more fun. There's more juz. They have more juz. There's a more vibe to life. There's a fun, a freeing, everybody lets go, and just gets involved. What's fucking we had a house, we had a housewarming Jenga lit. Jenga. Okay, okay. Jenga goes, but it's giant Jenga. Giant Jenga. Giant Jenga. Sorry, big difference. Walmart clearance aisle. Gotcha. That's my shit.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_07 10:04

See me catch me in the clearance aisle.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Dude. Catch me. What is white game night like? Like, oh, spin the wheel.

SPEAKER_07 10:09

Sucks.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yeah, spin the wheel, and oh, now you gotta eat the vomit flavored jelly belly.

SPEAKER_07 10:14

Let's let's watch our kids get intertangled in a game of Twister. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Let's play. I'm gonna play Twister with my daughter and not in a weird way. That's gonna be fun. That sounds like White Game Night sucks. That's Monopoly. No, but this is the thing. Monopoly is a tremendous game. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 10:30

I don't have three days.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Dude, yeah, I think it's a good one.

SPEAKER_07 10:33

I don't have three days. And that's a white people game.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

It is a white people game. Dude, I feel like whoever invented Twister was probably a pedophile, right? Or it was like why do you want to see a bunch of kids bent over like that?

SPEAKER_07 10:44

Or or it was a dude that was broke and was like, I gotta do, I gotta show this lady the time of her life, something she's never done before. I need to win her over and possibly get some pussy in the meantime. And he's like, hey babe, let's play Twister. Yeah. That would fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

I could see that.

SPEAKER_07 11:00

Hat tip. I could see that. My hat tip to you. Great pussy play, sir.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

We had like game nights and shit in there because there was like well that would kind of rule. It was kind of fun.

SPEAKER_07 11:11

After a few nights. You're gonna be pissed off about it the first few nights. I know you. You're gonna be like, this is fucking gay.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 11:17

This is gay. Interaction is gay.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

There were definitely some activities that were definitely gay.

SPEAKER_07 11:22

Yeah. But it's nice to have fun with the gay activity sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

No, yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_07 11:27

That's something that like being around children has taught me.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Bro, the fucking OCD group upstairs had like fucking The OCD group? The OCD group. They had like pizza parties and shit.

SPEAKER_07 11:37

Okay. With like when they call in an order from Pizza Hut, are they like get the tape measure out? Exact spacing on the pepperonis.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 11:46

Sorry, this is in bad taste.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Yeah, what's that party like? Do you think they play uh pin the tail on the donkey five times?

SPEAKER_07 11:53

Make sure it's squared.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_07 11:55

I don't know, but the OCD group, that sounds funny. Two, three. They sound like a real fun bunch. The OCD floor. Yeah. So they would get pizzas.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Uh yeah, they would get pizzas and you guys would go upstairs and mingle with the OCDs. Maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 12:12

You guys would mingle with them?

SPEAKER_02 12:13

A little bit. They tried to keep us separate.

SPEAKER_07 12:15

Really?

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:16

Huh.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

I don't know. I guess they didn't want us peasants touching, you know.

SPEAKER_07 12:20

You guys are the peasants?

SPEAKER_02 12:22

I guess. I mean, technically, we're alcoholics, so like it is our fault. You know what I mean? OCD, you're just born with that.

SPEAKER_07 12:32

I do think to a degree you're born with alcoholism. I think that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

No, yeah, you are, but it's like it's a little bit more self-inflicted than just OCD.

SPEAKER_07 12:40

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, could be. But also get over it.

unknown 12:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:45

OCD, get over it. Sometimes shit's fucked up. Can't you just accept that?

SPEAKER_02 12:49

That's how I feel about like ADHD. Like I have ADHD, but it's like I don't like what people are like, oh, I suffer with ADHD.

SPEAKER_07 12:55

I suffer. Yes, I suffer. Like get a real disease. People love to suffer.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Get a real disease.

SPEAKER_07 13:00

People love to suffer.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

You know what I mean? Honestly, people do love to suffer.

SPEAKER_07 13:04

People love to tell you about their sufferings.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

They need something to complain about.

SPEAKER_07 13:07

Yeah, I'm not into that. I don't like to I have enough bad shit in my life. I don't need to dwell on it.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

I mean, I complain, but I feel like I do bitch.

SPEAKER_07 13:14

I will occasionally bitch and complain, but I'm not gonna bring up my struggle. Yeah. People like to bring up their struggle.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, yeah, I'm the same way, but I like to complain, dude. I'm a big complainer. But I think I always have been.

SPEAKER_07 13:28

But you you again, this going back to your black side, you put a little zhuz on your complaint. I try to make it at least you make it entertaining.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

So it's not just nagging and like annoying to people. Yes. You know?

SPEAKER_07 13:40

Yes, you gotta zhuzh it up. If you're gonna complain, I agree with this. That's at least at least, yeah, you could make it enjoyable for the other person.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 13:48

And I think in turn it it it will help you laugh about it anyway.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Yes, I agree. I agree, dude. Like one of the dude, because like I when I was in there, like there was a lot of like shit that fucking bothered me. But like one of them, like they had suicide proof bathrooms. Like the whole thing proof bathrooms. There's nothing where you can tie anything to anything. Like the fucking shower is just like a like a short little spout. The thing you use to fucking hang up the towels is just like a little nipple coming out of the wall.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Dude. But my thing is is like, okay, why don't you just make it so people don't want to kill themselves in here? No. Maybe if people were allowed to watch TV past 9 p.m., you wouldn't have a suicide problem.

SPEAKER_07 14:36

Yeah, if you didn't have to cut off before the fourth quarter of the Eastern Conference Finals. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Either cutting off the TV or the circulation to my head.

SPEAKER_07 14:44

Fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Well, if there was there an outlet in the bathroom, I mean you still could.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

No, there was no outlet.

SPEAKER_07 14:50

No, no outlet? Damn. No outlet. I guess they really did it. There's been nights that I've needed that bathroom. No.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

But and plus for there were a couple nights where it was like uh like we were getting like a lot of extra people. Like you get all it can only hold like 20 something people.

SPEAKER_07 15:07

I bet if you drank enough shampoo, you could kill yourself.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

Maybe you'd probably just get sick and get your stomach pumped before you die then, right? Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_07 15:15

Probably. I'm just trying to play devil's efforts. Yeah, I'm trying to brainstorm. I feel you. I'll find a way, brother.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

But uh, no, dude, like one time one day they like almost didn't have enough beds for people. So we were talking we were discussing, right? Yeah, we were saying, like, is it gay?

SPEAKER_07 15:32

I got gatheren.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

It was like, what if what if you know we would have two guys in a bed, but they're sleeping perpendicular. Is that still gay?

SPEAKER_07 15:41

That's I would I would say that might be gayer. That might be gayer, yeah. Yeah, but yeah, because me and me and me and Courtney kind of slept that way the one time, and I was like, oh, this is just our pussy's right here. This is awesome. I see. She's got her, she's got the ass backed up right on me. That's even gayer. Okay, so you I feel like you've got the feet. I'm taking my heterosexual relationship. Yeah, okay. You've got crotch on top of crotch now.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

I'm thinking I was thinking put to crotch. But yeah, I suppose if you're going to back to the crowd.

SPEAKER_07 16:10

Oh, if you're you're talking about doing at the right angle.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 16:14

Oh. I mean, it depends if it depends, it depends if the guy with the crotch near the feet, if he's a foot job guy, if he's a foot guy, then it's then it's inherently it's more gay.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_07 16:27

But otherwise, sorry, I just really like to deconstruct these things.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

No, you're good. I just figured, you know, since you're not, you know, spooning.

SPEAKER_07 16:35

Since you're not spooning.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

There's less contact than there would be parallel. Yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_07 16:40

Well, it's head to toe. I think the the common go-to would be head to toe.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 16:45

That would be probably the most common thing. Even though I've never done a head-to-toe. I just I feel like the straightest way is you just sleep next to him. And you just say, God damn it, I'm straight, brother. And I trust, I put my trust in God that you are too.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 17:02

I'm not I'm not a big build-the-wall guy either. I was never a build-the-wall guy.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Not even like a player tape.

SPEAKER_07 17:08

No. No, you stay on your side and turn your ass towards my ass.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 17:14

We're gonna have asses facing each other, and that's it. I hope you're good at sleeping on that shoulder. Because you're sleeping on that shoulder. And then when I roll over for a guest, deny me.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

I always fantasize when I was sleeping in there to like just sleep naked, like ass up, because they'll do like they'll do like rounds.

SPEAKER_05 17:32

Wow. Like check with the flashlight on.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Yeah, they'll like open the door and check every hour. So I would love to just be like ass, like facing towards them, butt naked. I I fart.

SPEAKER_05 17:43

Ready for insertion?

SPEAKER_02 17:44

I fart. You just see the asshole open and close for a second.

SPEAKER_05 17:47

You see the hairs drift.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

It says good morning.

SPEAKER_07 17:55

It's only the ass looking out.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 17:58

It's just that. That's all that's visible from the mind. What the fuck? Oh, it's a guy's ass.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Just the brown eye.

SPEAKER_07 18:03

What a chance.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 18:07

Oh, that's what they would say for me.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

God. Come on, man.

SPEAKER_07 18:12

But it I feel like I feel like it's gay to for it to be a guy that has a fat ass.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

No, I agree. Uh when I was fucking like the first roommate I had, I had two different roommates. The first roommate I had was like an older dude, and he would like love to just shit.

SPEAKER_07 18:28

While you're in there?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Yeah. Yeah, I had roommates. Wow. He would love to just shit in the toilet and leave it. What? He did that like at least twice. Like set him aside and talk about the topic.

SPEAKER_07 18:38

This is the guy when you first got there?

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 18:41

Wow. So is he he was obviously in the same like 28-day period? Yeah. He's just like closer to the end. They're like, here's the new guy with this guy. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Yeah. But like twice now, I walk into the toilet.

SPEAKER_07 18:52

What a fucking power move, dude. He made you his shit bitch.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

I pulled him aside and I'm like, we you can't do this, man. And he's like, all right, my bad. Because like twice now, I walk in the bathroom and it's just like it's jarring. It's just sticking out of the water like an alligator's nose.

SPEAKER_07 19:07

It's jarring just to walk in and see a shit.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

You're just like already annoyed because you know you're in rehab and then you just, you know, put the light on. You're like, oh, come on, man.

SPEAKER_07 19:17

Great. You had corn, Jerry. Awesome. Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 19:22

Appreciate that bastard saying hello to me. Yeah, shit. Walking in on a shit is bad.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 19:28

Yeah. It's not it's a rude awakening. It's fucking tough. Walking in really on anything. In your in your home quarters is jarring.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

I yeah, I fucking agree.

SPEAKER_07 19:38

It's fucking bad. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Oh yeah. Everything is gay to the me, because I don't want my friends to know. Then I'm a fucking guy. Lincoln Park.

SPEAKER_07 19:58

It's deep.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

I don't know, David.

SPEAKER_07 20:01

Which one was Lincoln Park? Was that Chester Bennington? Yeah. Which guy was oh look at me. Sorry guys, I had to do that.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

Oh yeah, the Newton's cradle.

SPEAKER_07 20:12

That's really it's piquing my autism today.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

It's I mean that's a shitty one, but it is it's kind of fun.

SPEAKER_07 20:19

It's really got my attention today for some odd reason.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

How about instead of David David Bowie, it's David Belowie.

SPEAKER_07 20:27

Oh yup.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

This is We're back. This is Age of Fag using his hand. Someone please suck my cock. He wants his dick to be sucked. Wow. That's the gist of that one.

SPEAKER_07 20:45

Another deep one.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Yeah, you like it.

SPEAKER_07 20:47

Deep meaning there. Double entendres, I see.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Let's hear one from you. Have you been doing any fucking gay renditions of older music artists?

SPEAKER_07 20:58

I do gay renditions of everything all the time because it's just all that. But it's all it's never written. It's I'm a freestyle man. I there's always a song playing and somebody enjoys it and I want to ruin it for 'em. Okay. Um, so let me look at a Spotify playlist that I play at work. I gotta trigger a memory.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 21:20

Why did you just moan?

SPEAKER_02 21:25

David Blowy right now.

SPEAKER_07 21:26

David Blowy. Yeah. How could I have forgotten?

SPEAKER_02 21:30

Or what about uh uh Z Top, and that's when you're getting your dick sucked, but she's so bad at it that you fall asleep.

SPEAKER_07 21:39

Oh, it's not a song.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

It's the band.

SPEAKER_07 21:44

Yeah, yeah, but she has a beard. Yeah, that's yeah, see? Very long beard. Yeah. I get it.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

This is uh this is what we do, guys.

SPEAKER_07 21:53

Every girl's crazy about a soft dick man.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Every girl's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

Every girl's crazy about a soft dick man.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

I swear I'm not gay.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

I swear I don't sock dick. I like pussy. Please wow. My dad's a laugh, burning.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

You're gonna bring that secret out. Can you at least wait until he passes?

SPEAKER_07 22:26

Every girl's crazy about a soft dick man, dude. Because he's hiding his sexuality. See, we got there instantly. We just need a song to come up and we got it.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

We can do it. We can do it, guys.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

I love getting sex.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

My ass is black.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

My what? My ass was blacked. Bernanette.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

My ass was black. I love a sack.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

As long as it is nice and dark and black. I don't know. I don't know, dude. It's good to be back to a sucking dick.

SPEAKER_04 23:12

Suck a dick.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

But again, as long as it's black.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Yeah. But again, I don't mean to overdo it, but it really is important to me that he's black, turner.

SPEAKER_04 23:29

Because black's back. In my mouth. And in my ass. God, it's glad to be back, some.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Black is back. And you can say that socially as well, burner.

SPEAKER_04 23:44

Woo, yeah. Woohoo! Yeah. Yeah, hooray. Welcome to 97-1. We're back in black. We're back, we're back with the blacks.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Back with the blacks.

SPEAKER_04 23:57

Back with the black cocks.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

How about instead of uh, you know that, what's that uh one band? Uh My Chemical Romance.

SPEAKER_07 24:04

My Chemical, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Instead of the black parade, it's the black ass parade.

SPEAKER_07 24:08

The black ass parade.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Shit.

SPEAKER_07 24:10

I don't know that song.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

It's an album. It's an I don't know that's you don't need to know. It's a black ass parade.

SPEAKER_07 24:17

It's a black ass parade.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Shit.

SPEAKER_07 24:18

We're about to have a black ass parade. Hide the honkies. We're having a black ass parade.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

Shit. We're getting food trucks. We got a Bluetooth.

SPEAKER_07 24:33

Everybody's got a Bluetooth in. Everybody's got both Bluetooth in. And they're on speakerphone for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Best believe we're brilliant.

SPEAKER_07 24:42

Best believe you can hear this conversation. Over some mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Over some GD mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_07 24:50

Che it, man. Turn on the gap band. Che it. Alright.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Alright.

SPEAKER_07 24:57

This is uh, and then and then we're gonna eat some other stuff. We're gonna eat some ribs and stuff and such. Probably some. Have the honk get rid of the honkies before oh need some nutrients. Party's over, guys. The white showed up.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Ah, damn it.

SPEAKER_07 25:13

Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Hey, Barry.

SPEAKER_07 25:16

Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Guys, tone it down.

SPEAKER_04 25:22

Can you take me?

SPEAKER_07 25:25

Can you make me gay? Fuck my ass like it was never fucked before.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

I'm a flaming fagger.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Br if there's dick I'll suck it.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

Can you make me gay? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Bring my jaw to shove more dicks in.

SPEAKER_07 26:06

I'm gay.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

I'm gay, dude. Um let me see what I got.

SPEAKER_07 26:12

This one's a little off topic, but uh Is it never has it ever been on topic?

SPEAKER_02 26:17

No, yeah, it's this is a very choppy podcast.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

Can you suck my dad? No, I was Can you fuck my ass tonight?

SPEAKER_07 26:28

No, I was thinking, you know, what if Will you break my back tonight? Can you fuck my ass? Hit it. He's the dick suckin' man. He works down at the pizza parlor and fucks the head cook named Emilio in the back sometimes. His wife doesn't know that he's gay for pay.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

How about how about instead of uh Scott's stap, it's Scott's strap and he always wears a strap on?

SPEAKER_07 27:04

He wears a strap on, yeah. Yeah. Always takes a strap on.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

He always takes a strap strap.

SPEAKER_07 27:08

He always takes the strap on, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Hashtag Scott gets strapped.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

There you go.

SPEAKER_07 27:16

We did that. Yeah. Alright, off topic.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Off topic. Okay, what if there was a guy who like went to Build-A-Bear, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_07 27:25

Oh wow, look at all the bears. Look at all the bears. Yeah, walk me through the bit. Make me the guy.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Yes, you're a guy, grown man at Build-A-Bear.

SPEAKER_07 27:31

Grown man and Build-A-Bear. All right. Who am I trying to fuck?

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Uh the Bears? A kid, probably. A kid, probably.

SPEAKER_07 27:39

You're right.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Probably. But you can't tell anyone that. So for now, you're just a guy at Build-A-Bear.

SPEAKER_07 27:43

Just a guy at Build-A-Bear without a secret.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Alright. You pick one out, you get it stuffed, you know, you get the little heart.

SPEAKER_07 27:49

Do I I get the ch do I get the is the character gonna get the cheerleader bear or the football player bear?

SPEAKER_02 27:55

Um let's do the football player bear.

SPEAKER_07 27:58

Okay, I'm here to fuck boys. Okay. Yes. Great.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

So you kiss the heart, right? You put it in there, and then they're like finishing the sew job, but they like finish it at like the end of the seam is at the back end. Yeah. And then what if like when there's like maybe an inch let, you're like, okay, you can stop, you can stop sewing.

SPEAKER_07 28:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

You just stop right there. It's cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:20

Stop right there. Are you sure?

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Yeah. No, it's cool. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_07 28:24

I always wanted it to have an anus. Yeah. I like a bear with an anus.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

No, I want to be able to uh uh change out the hearts.

SPEAKER_07 28:31

I always have to put my own anus in my stuffed toys. Yes, yeah. I see I like to I like to I like to play a game of the which stuffed animal took the shit with Sebastian Manaskelko. Oh boy, he's back. He's my favorite. Yes, he is back in the flesh. Look at him sitting across from me, about to play who shit my pants with these stuffed animals.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Who shit my pants? I woke up and someone shit my pants.

SPEAKER_07 29:03

Was it the stuffed bear or was it the red panda, Mr. Manascalco?

SPEAKER_02 29:09

I don't know. It could have been the red bear, could have been the panda. I dunno I don't know. Listen, is this one of those kind of alpha in the shelf kind of fucking things?

SPEAKER_07 29:18

A little bit that way, yes. You like how I flipped the bit onto you, Mr. Manascalco.

SPEAKER_02 29:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 29:24

You tried to make me a pedophile.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 29:26

And I flipped it back on you. You are now the creepy man.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Well, I just have to shit.

SPEAKER_07 29:34

Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

I just have to shit.

SPEAKER_07 29:38

What's with the funyions? What's with the bag of funyions? Oh yeah. Sitting next to you.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

I thought maybe I'd have a fucking um snack.

SPEAKER_07 29:47

Have a snack on air. Okay. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 29:50

People think you think people like this?

SPEAKER_07 29:52

I think this is what they come for. Is the onion-fingered snacks.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

I hope this bothers people.

SPEAKER_07 29:59

I think you're doing it. It's bothering me, so you're already succeeding.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

Good. You like that?

SPEAKER_07 30:06

Yeah, I'm gonna build a boyer with a bear that doesn't that has an asshole now.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 30:10

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

No. I so I gotta go to fucking Jersey mics the other day.

SPEAKER_07 30:15

Jersey mics.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

I gotta go to Jersey Mike's the other day.

SPEAKER_07 30:18

Jersey mics is nice.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

You know what? My thing is, dude, whenever I do fuck a girl, if her pussy is not a fucking number 43 Chipotle cheesesteak. No veggies, extra cheese, I don't want it, dude.

SPEAKER_07 30:33

That's see me, I've always been a number 11 original Italian. I need original Italian pussy.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

Your original Italian?

SPEAKER_07 30:39

Original Italian pussy. I'm not, I've met some of these crazy uh cheesesteak guys. I'm not down with those. Those guys are drug addicts. Those are addicts. They're on some they're on cocaine or they're on fentanyl or something. Yeah. I'm not an original no, I'm an Italian. I'm a classic I Italian pussy man. Give me your Italian cold scut pussy right here.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

They gotta fucking um they they gotta get it.

SPEAKER_07 31:04

Fuck with the root beers there? I haven't. You ever do a root beer there? It's called like stubborn or something? That shit.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Really?

SPEAKER_07 31:11

Real ones, no.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Dude. Yeah, no. That was one of the first things I got when I fucking got out of Korea. Bro, you know how they make funyins, dude, right?

SPEAKER_07 31:22

How do they make funions?

SPEAKER_02 31:24

You don't know.

SPEAKER_07 31:24

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Well, what they do is uh they deep fry the foreskins of Jewish babies.

SPEAKER_07 31:30

Wow. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 31:34

I don't know, is that is that with or against Hamas what you just did? I don't really know that whole discussion over. Probably with, right? I don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Hamas hates the Jews.

SPEAKER_07 31:43

Is that their thing? They're against the Jews? Okay. Okay. I'm not really sure what's going on over there. But that was a cool move for Hamas. What you just did. That was a cool move for them. I don't know which side we're supposed to like, but whatever one you like, I'm with. That was a cool move for them.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like the um the left-leaning side sides with Hamas. Not Hamas, fuck.

SPEAKER_07 32:09

But uh the very classically traditionally left-leaning side of Hamas. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Palestine. Well, I don't know fucking shit about politics.

SPEAKER_07 32:17

I don't know either.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

I have no right to talk about any of that shit.

SPEAKER_07 32:20

I think that I think Palestine's got I don't I've never seen a baddie from Hamas. I've seen some Palestinian baddies, though. So I think I'm on that side. Whatever side Palestine Palestine's on, I'm on that side. Go Palestine. They got the baddies.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Free Palestine.

SPEAKER_07 32:35

Free them. Free the baddies. Keep the fucking boys. What about instead of uh free the baddies? Keep can we can we work this out, Israel? Can this be the agreement? Can you give the baddies? Can you give the bad keep the boys? Okay, keep the boys. We don't need them.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 32:51

They've been causing trouble, probably.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Maybe we can negotiate a little bit.

SPEAKER_07 32:55

We'd probably have to give some. It's not everything is not so black and white, guys. Okay? Sometimes there are good parts and there are bad parts.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

Go to them. You can be like, just think about how much more power you have if there's more men than women.

SPEAKER_07 33:08

The only thing a Palestinian ever did wrong, a woman ever did wrong was not give you the pussy.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:14

That's the only bad thing that one of them women have ever done. Swear. Yeah. Swear. Yeah. That's how I was done wrong. Wasn't given it.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Same here. Yeah. Same here, man.

SPEAKER_07 33:23

So I mean, that's it. Always craved it. Always looked fun. Different flavor.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Different flavors, right?

SPEAKER_07 33:31

Maybe for my second wife. Never know.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

What about instead of uh what about instead of Jersey Mike's and just Jersey Dykes?

SPEAKER_07 33:38

Jersey Dyke. Ooh, and it's all dykes that make the sandwiches. Yes, I like this idea.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Bunch of blue-collar lesbians.

SPEAKER_07 33:45

I mean, God, if I have a blue collar lesbian daughter, I will be the happiest man of all time. I want to grab a pint with my daughter that wants to talk about pussies so bad. That would be my absolute favorite. I want her to be the manager of Jersey Dykes one day and be the captain of the Jersey Dykes softball team. I want that for my daughter. I don't want a straight daughter. I want a fucking Butch lesbian daughter. Jersey Dyke. I want a Jersey Dyke.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

You want it Dyke's way? With olive oil and period blood. Then we scissor fuck with it in the back room. Dykes.

SPEAKER_07 34:24

What was it? Dyke's style? Dyke's way. Dyke's way. Yeah. Dyke's way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's their signature. I obviously. Obviously, I make it Dyke's way, please. Always. Take out that bottle, shake it up three times, and squirt that period blood on it. Make it Dyke's way, please.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Please.

SPEAKER_07 34:42

I'll take the scissor for next time, though. I'll redeem it later. I don't have time today.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

Fair, fair.

SPEAKER_07 34:50

I have to get back to the podcast factory. I don't have time today, ma'am. Sorry. Sorry, ma'am. Dykes way.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Oh yeah, dude. When I was fucking What about a Jewish one? A Jewish one?

SPEAKER_07 35:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Kike's way?

SPEAKER_07 35:04

Obviously. Oh, what would you like on your sandwich today, sir?

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Well, that's about as much tomato as I can give you.

SPEAKER_07 35:14

That's gonna be$37.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Now, with tax, that's gonna be around$58.

SPEAKER_07 35:21

You have to pay for the extra tomato, to reiterate what my coworker just told you. You have to pay extra for it. Get out of here, homo ass.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

We're now introducing Kik's way. That's where after we assemble the sandwich, we apologize for killing Christ.

SPEAKER_07 35:42

It's where we change, we turn a rainy day to a sunny one. We still do control the weather, you know.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Are you sure you don't want to round up? Or is it it goes right to me?

SPEAKER_07 35:56

Or is it where you find two pennies in your sandwich? But you paid, but you paid an extra four cents for dykes.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Hey, I would never allow two pennies to be wasted in a stranger's sandwich.

SPEAKER_07 36:13

Not unless in turn they gave me four pennies.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

If they you eat two and you shit out four.

SPEAKER_07 36:20

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

This guy's a damn ATM machine.

SPEAKER_07 36:25

That's good.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Thank you. The one we were doing, you were sending me bits of uh RFK when I was away. RFK, dude. RFK.

SPEAKER_07 36:35

We did some R I mean this uh it wasn't RFK at all, but it's it's hard to catch it. You catch it though.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:43

I was trying to do it when I I just don't understand how you went all this way for 28 days and you're still fucking gay. I didn't think it would be possible for anyone to go to such a strenuous rehabilitation center and soak them out of faggot.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

You know, you I thought what they do is they're just fucking the ass over and over until you know you don't want to take it anymore.

SPEAKER_04 37:11

I I I've just tried to always wrap my head around this concept. I don't know what you're doing for an accent.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

But what I'm trying to tell you you're still fucking gay. Yeah, they're they're they're dipping the cigarettes in peanut oil, and it's turning old men gay. Just ask my wife, Cheryl. Cheryl, she's been surrounded by old men for 20 years, and they don't even hit on her anymore. They just keep sucking each other off in the dressing room. Artificial food dyes are making children retarded and grown men constipated. Just look at me. I'm I'm trying to shit right now.

SPEAKER_04 37:49

I think I'm about to pop a damn blood vessel every time that I eat a different flavor of M, another color, after I have the red one. I get vigorous and prolonged boners when I get within 30 feet of another male, but not when I'm near my wife.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

God damn it, they killed my whole family. I haven't shit in weeks. The other day I shoved a shot vac up my ass to try and get it out. Did it for three hours and only realized it was never turned on? Kind of like my wife.

SPEAKER_04 38:27

I think that what they're trying to do to you is heinous and cruel. And also you're fat. Stop eating that stuff, man.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

I mean, I mean, think about it. What what woman would want to have sex with a flared-up hemorrhoid? My father was poisoned by seed oils by means of injection with a 35 caliber bullet through his head. Then an older man noticed the oiled up hole and fucked it. They said, quick, fuck it while it's still warm. Smear some shit into it so it feels like a guy's ass. I need your help a little bit with this bit anyway. You can't just stare at me inside.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

What are you doing with your pocket? My vapes are falling. My artificial flavors were falling out. Are you here from the central intelligence to kill me and smear your shit all over my body? It's like everybody else in my family.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

They said smear some shit in his the hole in his head so it feels like a guy's ass. I'm starting to get light-headed from doing his voice somebody. But then again, I can't blame him. It was still w wetter than my wife's cooch, you know? I was a young boy at the time. I probably would have fucked it too.

SPEAKER_04 39:45

Oh, every time I'm gonna fuck it a lot. I'm totally straight. And the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that come right packaged did not turn me into a god-fearing homosexual man.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

I'm sorry, I've been testing out a new vaccine. I originally I put Cialis in it hoping my wife would take it and want to fuck me. Now my dick's been hard for days, and it looks like my forehead.

SPEAKER_04 40:11

She's jacked now because she's been dating all my Cialis. Because for some reason I put a boner pill in my wife's diet. It would make her want to fuck me. But for some reason it did.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Boy, Cheryl's taking the fucking Cialis and uh the meditation guy is taking all the estrogen pills. I don't know, man. Everyone's doing RFK nowadays.

SPEAKER_07 40:42

Everyone's doing RFK.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

We wanted to fucking try it. I don't know. It's pretty funny. Probably shitty, but it's terrible. It was bad. It wasn't horrible. No, no, the numbers. It was horrible.

SPEAKER_07 40:51

I think you have a really good RFK impersonation.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

Do you really?

SPEAKER_07 40:55

Oh yeah. I think it's spot on.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

I mean, you just have to sound like you're shitty, basically.

SPEAKER_07 41:02

That's actually pretty good. That's actually a pretty good guideline. But when you like went to when you started to do Italian RFK was when I really that's when it really hit.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah, okay. Alright, I try, dude. I try.

SPEAKER_07 41:15

You go for it. What flavor is that?

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Blueberry watermelon.

SPEAKER_07 41:20

Blueberry watermelon. Hmm. Yum.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Yum, delicious. Oh, alright. Eating penis. Okay, what about this? Do you think they're um how about a goosebumps book, but it's about being molested.

SPEAKER_07 41:38

That doesn't exist already?

SPEAKER_02 41:39

No, I don't think it does.

SPEAKER_07 41:40

That's not what the dummy thing does? Night of the living The Night of the Living Dummy Where He Fucks My Ass part four? Didn't you read that one?

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Oh no, I didn't read that one.

SPEAKER_07 41:49

Night of Living Dummy Where He Fucks My Ass?

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_07 41:52

It was an underground release.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

The Cummy Dummy?

SPEAKER_07 41:55

The c Yeah. Night of the Living Cummy Dummy.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Night of the Living. What the fuck is this podcast, bro? It's a horrible head. The amount of money I've spent to do this is fucking stupid. And get no more than six listeners an episode. We've been down bad as far as listeners go.

SPEAKER_07 42:13

We're down bad?

SPEAKER_02 42:13

Yeah, we're down bad. It's but you know what? That's fine. You know, use it to that advantage. So we could say things like Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_07 42:24

We have to. Because if we don't say it, who will?

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Who will? Yeah. Who's gonna say it?

SPEAKER_07 42:30

I'm afraid of that dying. There's not enough people in our culture. Not enough people are saying that word. It's gonna die.

SPEAKER_03 42:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 42:37

We gotta keep it alive. Hey, do me again. Why are you gay?

SPEAKER_02 42:44

Oh, whoops.

SPEAKER_07 42:45

Why are you gay? Yeah, no, I'm cross-pressing. I thought I I don't know. Vaping on pod. Vaping on pod, yeah. That's awesome. I like to eat if you got a bag of funions from Jersey Mics, and you said, This is for this. This is how I'm gonna use this bag.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

Listen, there's a method to my madness.

SPEAKER_07 43:08

I don't know what chips. Oh, I always get the um garden salsa sun chips. So I don't know. Jersey Mics. That's the best one.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

My first choice for if I'm getting chips from Jersey Mics is the jalapeno Miss Vickies.

SPEAKER_07 43:20

Jalapeno Miss Vickies. See, I don't mean Miss Vicky, we don't hang. I don't ever get Miss Vicky. It's like one of the best chips. I I remember that my dad had always just told me a story that kind of tainted the brand for me forever, was that he worked with a lady and her name was Miss Vicky. And the one day my dad was the boss, and he she came up and said, Mike, Mike, I asked to go home. I shit in my pants, Mike. So that's all I can ever think about when I see Miss Vicky. Okay. So just because of the ship in the pants correlation with the chips, I just don't stray to that side of the aisle.

SPEAKER_02 43:52

Okay. Alright, I guess that's fair.

SPEAKER_07 43:54

That's why me and Vicki don't hang.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

You and Vicky don't hang. Does Vicky has does Vicky have nice tits?

SPEAKER_07 44:00

I would assume they're not nice, but they're giant.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

That's right up my app.

SPEAKER_07 44:05

That sounds like Vicky to me.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

That's right up my app.

SPEAKER_07 44:07

Doesn't Vicky sound like that to you?

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Kinda.

SPEAKER_07 44:10

I don't feel like there's a lot of young people. Oh, Icky Vicky. Icky Vicky. Um I don't yeah, I don't picture Icky Vicky. I picture huge tits old lady.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_07 44:26

Huge titted old lady. And like kind of like Miss Chokes on Dick from South Park, where occasionally her tits will pop out of the bottom of her shirt. That's kind of the size that I'm talking about. And no construct, never a Brazier.

SPEAKER_02 44:39

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 44:40

Never a Brazier. Dicky don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 44:43

I was thinking it'd be funny if there was like a woman with big tits wearing one of those guest shirts. You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_07 44:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

And uh you just walked up to her and was like, um, hmm, 34 double D. You know? Yeah. I think that'd be a fun one.

SPEAKER_07 44:59

Yeah, that'd be pretty fun. That'd be a fun thing to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

At work.

SPEAKER_07 45:06

You just yeah, at work.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

Trip to HR.

SPEAKER_07 45:09

Instant.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

I was tits following instructions.

SPEAKER_07 45:15

Juicy. I've always been a fan of juicy. Juicy? Yeah. I love juicy. Not a guess. I like juicy. Especially when it's natural.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

I thought you were talking about the tits, not the brand. No. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 45:26

No, I'm talking about the brand. If we're going, if you're saying guess, I'm saying juicy.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

Well, you're into black when it's on the ass. Yeah, juicy.

SPEAKER_07 45:33

Juicy.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

I always see black when we wear it. They wear it well.

SPEAKER_07 45:36

They do.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

They wear it well. Yeah. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_07 45:43

Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Alright, whatever. I'm the only one with a boner. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Dude. Do you vape still?

SPEAKER_07 45:52

No. Oh, you quit? I quit. Oh, good for you. With the new year. I've I've hit it maybe like three times this year. I've borrowed a hit from somebody. And then I get fucking rocked. I get put on my ass. Like every once in a while I'll just be like, just give me one.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

I'd offer you the weed pen, but you seem a little spacey already.

SPEAKER_07 46:10

I'm already a little Yeah, I'm the car. I kinda got too high on the coffee.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 46:15

The coffee, the caffeine's hitting me like fucking strangely hard right now, and I'm just like tapping my toe and playing with this fidget cube. Gotcha. And getting lost.

SPEAKER_02 46:22

Okay. Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_07 46:24

Totally spaced out right now. Apologies.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

I'm feeling alright. I feel like I don't know. I've been trying this new thing where if I'm like upset, my new thing has been just throwing car batteries into Lake Michigan. You ever try that?

SPEAKER_07 46:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

Yeah?

SPEAKER_07 46:42

Oh yeah. Dude. No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Yeah. It really just quiets my mind, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 46:47

It sounds like a peaceful activity. Do you go out during the daytime or the nighttime?

SPEAKER_02 46:51

Uh, usually you gotta do it at night because otherwise people love to bitch and complain.

SPEAKER_07 46:56

Peaceful, beautiful black sky.

SPEAKER_02 46:58

Yeah, like the scenery is a lot nicer at night as well.

SPEAKER_07 47:01

The waves coming in crashing.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

I became addicted to that. That's why I went to rehab, dude. Wow. I'm addicted to throwing car batteries into the lake.

SPEAKER_07 47:09

If you're gonna get addicted to something, it is a real problem. It's an environmental hazard. Um, it's careless, it's selfish. Um, that was probably sounded awesome. Yeah. But that's that's you.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

That's me, dude.

SPEAKER_07 47:25

You're a car battery chucker. We all have our own plight.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

Yeah, dude. I'm down to like five batteries a night. Fuck.

SPEAKER_07 47:34

It's the way that you've been able to fund this is really incredible.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

Yeah, honestly.

SPEAKER_07 47:40

And you always you always buy brand name. That's one thing that I give to you. You always buy the you're a big American America guy, so you always buy the American made.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

It's this little thing of mine.

SPEAKER_07 47:49

You know what I mean? It's it's a nice thing to have to support American businesses, especially in this time of crises.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

Oh, absolutely. Car battery prices have doubled too.

SPEAKER_07 47:57

They've inflation, brother. You're just preaching to the choir.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

Yeah, I'm addicted to lifting.

SPEAKER_07 48:01

I can't buy poppers anymore. They just got so expensive. I can't have I can't have gay sex anymore without my poppers.

SPEAKER_02 48:07

Bro, I'm addicted to lifting heavy objects with my back. That's been my new, my strange addiction. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 48:15

That's I love just lifting. I remember I remember when that I had that affliction.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

90 degree bend and just arms all the way out forward while I'm lifting shit.

SPEAKER_07 48:25

Like a lever.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 48:27

Bending over and picking something up.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Yes. I want as much leverage as I can get.

SPEAKER_07 48:31

Yeah. All out of the make your back your fulcrum.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

Yes. I want it. I want it all going into my back.

SPEAKER_07 48:38

It's if you're gonna get if you're gonna, you know, make a part of your body strong. Might as well be your fucking back, dude. Might as well. Work out those muscles. Yeah, it supports out. That's what I always say. The doctor disagrees, but you know No, he doesn't understand the concept of gains, which is m really my big problem with the American Medical Association.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

It dips before it, you know, you really start seeing the results.

SPEAKER_07 49:00

You have to put the time in and the effort. You have to get hurt a few times so you stop getting hurt. Yeah, exactly. You gotta build resistance. It gets worse before it gets hurt. It's a game of building resistance, folks. Exactly. That's what that's what these medical doctors don't understand. The more pain now, the less pain later. Yes. Is what I've always said.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

Yes, exactly. That's a way of life that I choose to do.

SPEAKER_07 49:27

Ever since I became a motivational Instagram speaker, that's been my guideline.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Pain is just the same. Pain is gain.

SPEAKER_07 49:33

Pain is gain. People don't understand that. That's the thing that people don't get. Pain is gain.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

Pain is gain, yeah. That's why I like sounding so much.

SPEAKER_07 49:44

What is sounding?

SPEAKER_02 49:46

Oh, you've not you haven't heard?

SPEAKER_07 49:47

What is sounding? Enlighten me, sister.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

Sounding is uh the act or practice, rather, of uh stretching out your urethra.

SPEAKER_07 49:57

Oh that sounds painful. That means there's a lot of gainful opportunities in there.

SPEAKER_02 50:03

Now you're getting it. Now you're fucking getting it.

SPEAKER_07 50:06

How do you do it? The last time I dabbled in the community, it was with sound waves to increase the size of the urethra.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

Sound wave?

SPEAKER_07 50:14

For a quicker, more of a dump kind of urination.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

I go for a good old-fashioned number two pencil.

SPEAKER_07 50:20

Number two pencil. Really? Hmm. Eraser side?

SPEAKER_02 50:25

Oh, dude, you get the fucking tip is tapered.

SPEAKER_07 50:29

The tip is tap the tip is taped. The tip is tapered. It is.

SPEAKER_02 50:33

Yes. I mean, I mean, if you want to go blunt end, you could try it. But also it's an eraser, not a whole lot of uh.

SPEAKER_07 50:42

Yeah, but once you know, yeah, but once you get to that cold metal right there, that's gotta feel more gasmic, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 50:50

I don't know. I would imagine that's the toughest part.

SPEAKER_07 50:52

I feel the little coldness.

SPEAKER_02 50:54

Like shoving a cookie cutter through your dick hole.

SPEAKER_07 50:56

I feel like it would clean the cuts.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

I don't think that's how that works.

SPEAKER_07 51:00

I feel like it would clean the cuts. And I think that that would kind of feel incredible. Kind of like kind of the incredible that would make you want to throw away your wife and family.

SPEAKER_02 51:11

Yeah, dragging metal through it is gonna clean the cuts.

SPEAKER_07 51:14

Yeah, well, I've got a lot of cuts from you know the other stuff.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

My fucking therapist is gonna walk in on me cutting my wrists open and be like, no, no, no, I'm just cleaning the cuts.

SPEAKER_07 51:23

I'm cleaning the cuts.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:25

Ma'am. With my pencil.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

With my pencil. Alright, I'm gonna take a break.

SPEAKER_07 51:32

No pooping.

SPEAKER_02 51:35

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:36

Tick tick, tick, tick, cock.

SPEAKER_02 51:40

Oh yeah, fucking. So, how about this? When we were in rehab, we watched uh Narnia, right?

SPEAKER_07 51:46

Narnia?

SPEAKER_02 51:46

So right? So I can't.

SPEAKER_07 51:48

Is that a good film?

SPEAKER_02 51:49

It's alright.

SPEAKER_07 51:49

It's alright. Okay. I didn't really stay for the whole thing, but do they ha do they have like a big screen? Or I feel like it's like a 42-inch magna vision from 2008.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

It was maybe a little bigger than the one um yeah, in uh the living room. But like, yeah, it was like an older one, so like Yeah. It was like a lot of like if you put the game on, like a lot of them would be in quote unquote HD.

SPEAKER_07 52:14

Ooh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:15

But really, it would just like fill out the screen and like cut off the sides of it. Nice. So we'd be watching like baseball, but like you couldn't see the score.

SPEAKER_07 52:25

That sucks. Yeah. That'll make you rethink a lot of things there. That's actually that's actually probably quite effective form of torture. To get you to be like, yeah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do that anymore.

SPEAKER_02 52:35

Yeah, that's why there's suicide proof bathrooms.

SPEAKER_07 52:38

Yeah, it's smart.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

But uh no.

SPEAKER_07 52:41

Did you ever think about putting the the towel nub into an orifice?

SPEAKER_02 52:46

Uh it's too high up.

SPEAKER_07 52:48

Too high up.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

I'm a short king.

SPEAKER_07 52:50

You couldn't get a stool.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

I'm a short king.

SPEAKER_07 52:52

You're just that's what you'll give up on pleasure. You're like, oh, I can't put any effort in on pleasure. I can't even get a stool to to rub the gland of my ass. I like this as on an armrest. You like that? With about half pressure on it to not break it. Nice, dude. This is actually pretty comfy. These are nice, uh pro podcaster position right here. PPP, pro cop podcaster position.

SPEAKER_02 53:17

These are roads, so they're nicely built. Roods. Rudes. But no, I was thinking about this. Instead of uh, it could be girl Narnia, and it could be the the liar, the bitch, and the whores robe.

SPEAKER_07 53:32

The liar, the bitch, and the whores robe. Yes. Okay. I don't know Narnia.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

I don't know Narnia. You don't really have to.

SPEAKER_07 53:38

Okay. The liar of the bitch and the whores robe.

SPEAKER_02 53:40

It's more about the rhyming than anything.

SPEAKER_07 53:43

Where does it rhyme?

SPEAKER_02 53:45

The lion, the witch, and the something robe.

SPEAKER_07 53:49

Horror's robe.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

And the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe.

SPEAKER_07 53:52

Lion, the witch in the wardrobe.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

That's what it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 53:54

Okay. Fucking The Liar, the bitch, and the whores robe.

SPEAKER_02 54:00

That's what it was. Did you see the fucking Dr. Squatch soap?

SPEAKER_07 54:04

With Sydney Sweeney? With Sidney Sweeney. Yeah, I didn't get any. I was kinda I was actually gonna try and go for some of that.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

I fuck I guess Liam's on the wait list.

SPEAKER_07 54:12

Well, there's a wait list.

SPEAKER_02 54:13

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:15

Hmm. So we're just we're waiting on this lady to take a bath again. It's a white lady. Can't be no telling how long it'll be. Yeah, right. She's she fixing my to be a month between baths. Bro, do you think that lady's fucking hot, dude?

SPEAKER_02 54:31

You think she knows she's hot though? I don't think she knows she's hot.

SPEAKER_07 54:34

A little bit. Just a little bit, she knows she's hot.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:36

I don't know why. I don't like that she's flaunting it as much as this. I really she should be she's above the bathwater gimmick. Sorry. Yeah. Why don't you act like you're the number one starlet right now, bitch? Yeah. I don't mean to daddy up on you, but I'm daddying up. You're putting it everywhere. I don't Okay, you're being seen too much. Don't be seen so much. Be mysterious. The mysterious hot girl is way hotter. You're gonna burn out your hot so fast.

SPEAKER_02 55:01

That is true.

SPEAKER_07 55:02

You didn't see Jennifer Aniston was always very hot, but you didn't see her everywhere, and she just has kind of retained and aged gracefully as still this hot. You're blowing it right now, Sidney Sweeney. You're putting your pussy everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

Hear this guy?

SPEAKER_07 55:15

Stop putting the pussy everywhere. We don't need to see it every day. Okay? He's making good points. Stop getting in on the gimmicks. He's making good points. You're that hot. You don't need the gimmicks.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

I agree.

SPEAKER_07 55:26

This is stupid and short-sighted.

SPEAKER_02 55:28

No, actually, I disagree. I'm contrarian.

SPEAKER_07 55:32

The commercials, you're you're flaunting it. You're doing too hot. I get that you want to keep everybody on retainer. I get that. People are gonna get sick of you. And it's gonna it's gonna totally flip be who becomes the hottest lady, which I'm in for, even though I like this hottest lady. I just don't think this she's not playing the game the right way.

SPEAKER_02 55:52

No, I don't think she knows I think she needs more men telling telling her she's beautiful on Instagram every morning.

SPEAKER_07 55:58

She might. She might. I'm not on I don't follow any of these sluts on the gram. I don't.

SPEAKER_02 56:04

Oh, dude. There's no shortage of just fucking I'm a man of gun. I mean, it's basically all people now. It's not exclusive to Indian, but it is, yeah. They take up a big portion of the pie chart, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 56:15

Oh baby girl. Oh baby girl, Sweeney.

SPEAKER_02 56:18

Oh baby girl.

SPEAKER_07 56:19

Now yeah, I don't know. What do you think? What is your take on the the soap? What is it?

SPEAKER_02 56:24

I don't know. It's like, I guess, like here's my thing. It's just like I do get Sydney Sweeney's attractive, but it's like chill.

SPEAKER_07 56:33

You're shoving it down our throats, right now.

SPEAKER_02 56:34

Shoving it down our throats too much. I know she's hot. I do agree that she's hot, but it's like Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 56:38

You're hot. We get it.

SPEAKER_02 56:39

You fucking get it, dude.

SPEAKER_07 56:41

Yeah, thank you. There's too many photo shoots, there's too many, she's too many places.

SPEAKER_02 56:45

We've given her enough reassurance to last like three fucking lifetimes. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 56:55

She plays it right, she pops up less. And you like it more when you see her.

SPEAKER_02 57:00

We've given her more flowers than fucking Princess Diana at her funeral.

SPEAKER_07 57:04

This is the milk hour right now, guys.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 57:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:07

Like I'm all for like ego feeding to that extent is you know.

SPEAKER_07 57:11

She's stroking, she's stroking it a little too much. She's stroking herself in front of everybody.

SPEAKER_02 57:18

I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_07 57:19

And it's not in the way that I want to see her stroke herself.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

Yeah, I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_07 57:25

Because at this rate, I feel like we're two years away from seeing it all unleashed online, and I don't want to see it yet.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

I agree.

SPEAKER_07 57:32

And I'm not ready for it yet.

SPEAKER_02 57:33

And you know me. You know me.

SPEAKER_07 57:35

I like the mystery, personally. I like a little mystery.

SPEAKER_02 57:39

I agree. Yeah, yes. And uh, you know me, tit connoisseur right here. Connoisseur.

SPEAKER_07 57:49

Most people have not gone to the depths of the internet to see how truly how big tits can get.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 57:56

You just have a limited edition Tootsie Pops chilling?

SPEAKER_02 57:59

Yeah, I wanted to try them. They're okay.

SPEAKER_07 58:01

You wanted they're okay.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

Do you like like Worthers? You ever have a Worthers?

SPEAKER_07 58:05

Worthers are interesting.

SPEAKER_02 58:06

That's kind of what they taste like.

SPEAKER_07 58:08

Do you think it would be gay if I did one right now? Have one. If it's gay, I want to do it.

SPEAKER_02 58:12

Maybe one too. I might have one later. Take a Tootsie.

SPEAKER_07 58:15

Dear Toots. Dear Toots. What do you got in here? You got some interesting stuff in here. But no, I feel like I feel like a King Fag crown. You know, you want the crown on it. I need the crown. He hath return.

SPEAKER_02 58:26

King Fag ha fucking the five. Stop showing your pussy everywhere, Miss Sweeney!

SPEAKER_07 58:31

King Fag is angry! No, it's like. You have such an elite snack taste, it's not even funny. You have such an elite taste.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

Thank you. But like, I feel like, you know, people think Sydney Sweeney has the biggest tits in the same way that like most people think Dave Chappelle is like the most offensive comedian.

SPEAKER_07 58:48

You know what I mean? No, I is anybody saying she has the biggest tits? I feel like they're saying she has the best tits.

SPEAKER_02 58:55

Maybe I could be getting that right.

SPEAKER_07 58:57

She has like the smallest tits that you would consider big and supple enough to truly feed on.

SPEAKER_02 59:03

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_07 59:05

And they're just so well done. You're a size queen. You've always been a size queen.

SPEAKER_02 59:10

I'm a size queen, dude.

SPEAKER_07 59:12

There's more to there's more to life than size.

SPEAKER_02 59:14

You know, I didn't ask for this, dude. I this was completely against my will.

SPEAKER_07 59:18

It feels like you thrust yourself into it. I feel like you thrust yourself towards the extremities of tits.

SPEAKER_02 59:25

I wish I could thrust myself into a vagina.

SPEAKER_07 59:28

Yeah. I do too. It would be nice on occasion. It'd be nice. But here we are doing this podcast. So it looks like that's not happening anytime soon. And I was given the seven-year no pussy curse by Tim Butterly because I had pumps on.

SPEAKER_02 59:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 59:48

Outside of his show one time.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

Pumps.

SPEAKER_07 59:50

I had Reebok pumps on, and he said seven years no pussy. He cursed me in front of zany's.

SPEAKER_02 59:55

Are those like pumps like the women's shoe?

SPEAKER_07 59:58

No. Contrary to popular belief, they're not. Women's shoes. They don't make women's shoes in size men's 13.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:06

Um bitch fag. Now it's probably do. Why is this one so tiny, bro? They used to be fatter. Right?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:15

Oh, you got a little flying saucer right there.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:17

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:18

Wow. I'd much rather have the small one.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:20

Really?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:21

Yeah. I'm not a size queen like you. Here, do you want mine? It's only been licked a few times. This thing's pretty tasty, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:28

You could take a few if you want. Like, I don't, they're just sitting there.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:32

I worked with a guy that would say soccer break. He would be like, Alright, are you ready for a soccer break? And he would always have the I think these ones. They got the chewy bit in the middle.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:41

Oh, the Chutsi roll?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:42

Yeah, Tootsie Pop. Yeah. Exactly what these are. What a fucking dumbass.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:46

Was he retarded? He sounds retarded. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:49

He was just an Irish guy that likes to drink.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:52

God bless his heart, Bob. God bless Bob.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:56

You know the cirrhosis of the liver, the doctor said, you know, one more drink and I'm done for. But you know But I'm Irish. But it's, you know, I'm retired and you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:10

Yeah. What's uh what is that? Is that a hu a cool? He has this black square device. It looks like it could keep cigars in it, or it looks like it could be like a humidifier.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

It's a mini fridge.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:25

It's a mi it's a mini mini fridge.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:27

It's a mini mini fridge.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:28

Ooh. I love a mini mini fridge. I love this idea. Bedside gold waters is his and hers. This is a great idea here. Yes. You sh you could start luring women back here and having two Fiji's. And you're the most romantic guy ever. Two Fiji's and one um ice pack. An ice pack is considerate, I feel like.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:50

How many cans can you fit in there? I'm gonna guess eight.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

I think it says six.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:54

Ooh, fuck. Six pack.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

The problem is, is it's like just not tall enough for a water bottle to fit, so I have to like turn it out an angle to fit it in there.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:03

You can get two in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:04

Yeah. Maybe not barely even two.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:06

Hmm. I wonder how we oh you should get mini waters.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

Maybe I should.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:10

Mini water like a real hotel.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:11

Yeah, maybe that's the move. That might be the move. Just like something I have when I wake up in the middle. I mean, it's not so much a problem any now like now, but like when I was drinking, I would wake up in the middle of the night like, yeah, like that SpongeBob episode. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:29

When they're on David Hasselhoff's back.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:32

Hell yeah, dude. I love that movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:37

I saw this uh article uh about uh this woman that uh was like parasailing and she like panicked and unbuckled her shit and died.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:49

That's the dumbest spazz. Exactly. How do you spaz like that?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:55

Oh fuck!

SPEAKER_02 1:02:56

Dude, yeah, that's womanly instincts if I've ever heard of. You know, just do the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do to avoid disaster.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:04

That's nice, yeah. I can yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:07

Dude, a few months ago when I went uh on that skiing trip, we went on this like uh snowmobile tour, right? And you have to take a bus to get up there, and like we're on the bus waiting to go back to like the where the cars were. But I guess like some woman was on the snowmobile and like panicked and like kept on the throttle and like crashed.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:29

So we know didn't decide let's not let go.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:32

Yeah. Fucking genius. You see the panic while you were there?

SPEAKER_07 1:03:35

That's awesome. What happened? Did they have to like fucking airlift her out?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

I guess so, yeah. Oh I guess so, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:42

Yeah, did you hear about Carol from accounting? She went on that ski trip and got airlifted out. We're not gonna see that bitch for a while.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:53

Pouring gasoline on the fire.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:55

How do you go back to work and be like, uh, guys? How fucking stupid would you feel? That's so funny. Uh why haven't you been at work for six months? Yeah, I got in a vicious snowmobiling accident.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:07

Yeah. What the fuck? Well, I guess that's my uh incel take for this episode.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:14

Pinning take of the week. We need a sound job for incel take of the week.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:21

Yeah, we should I'll get one. I'll get one.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:23

Because you should you need to have a take of the week on women.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:26

That's what gotta be one of our segments.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

Yeah, just shitting. Yeah, we can do it. I mean, it's basically already a segment. Yeah. Shitting on women.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:33

Incel take of the week, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:35

I'm what you call how you say a fag. Do you know?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:40

I'm how you say grumpy about my dick. Me and my dick are grumpy over here.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:50

In my stuffy room, I'm grumpy with my dick.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

Yeah, I'm a little angry. I like to complain about the matriarchy and the Hooter's Biosphere.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:58

Yeah. See, they went bankrupt without you?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:03

They declared bankruptcy. They're like, fuck, we lost our best guy. Yeah. Bankrupt. Now it's a family restaurant. Good luck, Busta. That was the whole thing. You shouldn't be, I'm going to drop a hot take on you. You shouldn't be moving away from tits in this economy. You should be moving towards the tits.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:19

Well, I'm less clothes. Well, I would say they usually do pretty good with not hiring ugly women. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:27

Hooters, though you go around a job site, I'm going to be honest with you. You go around a construction site, you ask around. Hooters generally has a reputation for having the worst girls in the breast around game right now. Everybody's saying Tilted Kilt's better. Everybody's Twin Peaks is like top of the mountain. Twin Peaks is Twin Peaks is the one, if you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:48

My thing with those places, though, is they're all like, you know, plastic surgery, body and face. They all kind of Really? A lot of them have that same look.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:56

Blasphemy, brother.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:58

I feel like there's more like. For lack of a flamed out strippers term natural beauty.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:04

Lack of natural beauty.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:07

Yeah, well, maybe, maybe, yeah, could be.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:09

I think they're all just like they still have hot girls at Hooters. It's just and they still have like some with the fake tits, it's just not as many.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:17

I feel like it's rookie, hasn't stripped yet, and flamed out strippers. I feel like once you're a flamed out stripper, you're a manager of a Hooters. Once your career at your career at uh scores is done, they like send you off to send you off to Doggy Heaven, which is just a Hooters that you get to manage.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:34

Yes. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:36

Alright, alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:38

I agree.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:40

Fucking uh Coldest beer and hardest nips. Twin Peaks. How about uh lingerie Fridays? Have you ever heard?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:50

No, I have.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:50

They do lingerie Fridays. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:52

Oh, where at Twin Peaks?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:53

Twin Peaks, yeah. Really? Really? No way. Nobody buys it.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:58

It's down the Twin Peaks near me.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:00

Oh. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:01

They used to have one in uh I don't want to say, but I've said it's in Orlando, Florida. In Orland. I've said the fucking name of climate before. It's not like anyone's listening anyway.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:13

Hey Noah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:14

It's not like I'm gonna get doxxed by one of my six listeners.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:18

What if what if one of the totally real women that listens and not a bot comes over and fucks you because you doxed by Orland?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:26

Oh yeah, that happens a lot.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:28

Yeah. You're beating them away with a stick.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:31

How about instead of uh Andrew Dice Clay, it's Andrew Schultz Clay?

SPEAKER_07 1:07:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:37

What do you think of that?

SPEAKER_07 1:07:38

Okay. You know I'm listening.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:39

Comedians are gonna like the modern day philosophers. Oh you know, a little something like that.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:46

Hey.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:47

Hey, you know, you ever listened to you ever listened to MF Doom? Fucking.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:54

Hey, you ever been a white guy that likes to be black?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:57

Hey, you know, when you listen to old school hip hop, you know, there's there's really you know something to be said about it.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:05

You ever like to speak on the culture that's not your culture? It's getting as if it's your own culture.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:11

I feel it, you know, I can't help that I'm accepted, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:15

I just have to laugh at my own shit sometimes. I'm so fucking New York and funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:23

I'm so, you know, I remember we were in the studio one time, me and my float. We were chit-chatting, right? Hit the wire, you gay. But we were we were chit-chatting, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:39

Shootin' breeze.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:40

You know, we're talking about, you know, who's better? Nipsey Hustle or fucking Kendrick Lamar.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:47

Yeah. We're talking West Coast hip hop, me and Charlemagne.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:51

Me and Charlemagne. Tagada.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:55

Tagada.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:57

Yeah, that was a shitty bit. But I thought it was fun.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:00

That went in places.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:01

It was fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:07

Hmm. Dude. You guys like the sucker? I like the sucker a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:11

It's pretty good, dude. I gotta be honest.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:14

Fucking um That's how I kiss the penis.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:17

I gotta I'm waiting on a puzzle to come in. Did I tell you I became a puzzle savant?

SPEAKER_07 1:09:21

You did mention that you became your yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of uh how many pieces are you up to now?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:26

Thousand pieces.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:27

Twenty-four?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:28

I mean, usually when I was doing a thousand, I'd have other people helping me.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:31

So maybe Are you a glue it together when it's done, guy, and frame it?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

Well, we couldn't have puzzle glue and rehab because they're afraid we'll sniff it. But uh I thought about ordering just to like, I don't know. I'll probably end up just relapsing anyway at some point. But you know, just to have it as like a, you know, something to resort to when I out of car batteries, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:56

What are you gonna resort to?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:58

Puzzling.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:58

Puzzling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not? What kind of puzzles are are you into like are you into like a mountain with the sun coming over and like a cross in the background? Are you a holy puzzle man?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

So really any puzzle with like more detail in it? Tits?

SPEAKER_07 1:10:14

Have you looked into tits puzzles yet?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:16

There was a tit puzzle at rehab, actually, but it was missing pieces.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:20

Which pieces?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:21

A lot of which are the tits the tits, so I'm thinking people are sticking them off to the back room.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:27

Can you imagine jerking off with a puzzle piece?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:29

You're just like squinting. Bro, I had an MP3.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:33

They're holding the puzzle together?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:34

When I was in there, I had an MP3 player, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:10:37

Whoa, how many songs?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:38

Uh I put like some depthones on there. It was I came with a 64 gigabyte. Damn. Not bad. I figured out how to put pictures in there week three.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:48

So game officially changed, folks.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:52

So yeah, fast forward to me jerking off on the MP3 player to pixelated fucking.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:58

You'll find a way, goddamn it. This is the thing that I love about America and the horny bastards of America, is they will find a way to crank off in a room with a roommate.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:09

That's how I came up with the term pixel tits.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:12

Pixel tits.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:13

Pixel tits. It's a fun one.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:14

Was it a Zune?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:16

Uh it was like an old Chinese MP3 player.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:19

A Chinese MP3 player. Wow. But it had images. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:23

Dude, yeah, they were fucking uptight in there, bro.

unknown 1:11:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:26

Like, dude, I ordered a puzzle while I was in there, and they like have to check every because you can order things from Amazon and have it delivered there, but like they check everything.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:36

Yeah, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:36

So like they like checked this puzzle I was going through. You know. But you know, here's my thing though. It's like, I don't know, little did they know, you know, I had ordered this puzzle, and you know, each of these puzzle peaches were actually uh tabs of LSD. You know, they didn't suspect a thing. You know.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:58

Not a clue.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:59

Not a clue, dude. Not a clue.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:01

Just good old-fashioned LSD puzzle pieces.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:03

Yeah, dude, by nine o'clock, we're all covered in human waste and fucking howling at the moon, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:10

A ooga.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:10

Owoo. It was fun. It was fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:16

So what what kind of puzzle man are you? Was it like a Michelangelo?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

Uh some chits? There was a couple where it was like a farm with a garage sale. Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:27

A farm with a garage sale.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:28

We did one where it was like a state fair.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:30

A state fair?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:31

Yeah. I mean, you want the ones with more detail in it. Because it's like easier to like match up the pieces or whatever. But yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:40

Talking puzzles.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:41

Talking puzzles, bro.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:42

I think you should become a glue it together guy now that you're out.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:45

Maybe I should. Get some more shit on the show.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:47

You should get some weird puzzles. Erotic puzzles? Yeah. Erotic puzzles. Yeah. That's a Google. Erotic puzzles. To spice up your sex life.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:00

Dude. Um what else did I want to talk about?

SPEAKER_07 1:13:05

A veiny penis puzzle. 4,000 pieces.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:09

Yeah, speaking of penis, um, there was this dude in rehab, right? And like he like brought he so this was like a kind of a weird dude, but like his like first day there, he like brought the entire like group to a halt to like say that he has a sore dick from passing kidney stones.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:28

Oh, kidney stones really sound horrible. I was just have been educated on these things. These bastards, I'm scared.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:35

Yeah, like I feel bad, but it's like you don't need to bring the group to a halt to let everyone know. You know, guys with kidney stones can't stop talking about their kidney stones. Don't mind me grabbing my dick, guys. It's just my kidney stone. You know, don't mind me, I got a sore cock, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:50

It's sore, that's why I'm touching it so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:52

Yeah, he's like basically just jerking off through the pocket during group. He's like, Don't mind me, guys, I got kidney stones, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:00

Like, yeah, okay, man. Like, nobody noticed until you brought it up. You know what I mean? You know?

SPEAKER_07 1:14:06

I wonder if you could pass a stone with jizz.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:09

Maybe if it's powerful, if you got enough buildup, maybe enough momentum.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:14

Yeah. That's what I'm going for right now. I'm gonna come so hard I shoot her with a rock.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:20

Like, yeah, man, sore cock, you know how it is, dude. Another day, my sore cock and me, dude. You know, I remember I I had a talk with my son, and I said, son, your dad's got a sore cock, you know. And uh my dad had a sore cock, his dad him. It runs with a family. One day you might have a sore cock. And that's okay. As long as you let everyone know that you possibly can.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:43

Everybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:44

Everybody, too. And yeah, it's small too. It's a good thing, the good thing about having a small cock is it doesn't take as long for the stone to pass, you know. It's awfully sore though, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:57

Double the pain and half the distance, son.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:01

The worst is when it's hot out and you get hard, you know. The soreness flares up. And you get all banged up looking, you know? Looks like a crushed soda can. You know. I remember I went to group one day. I remember I went to group, I thought it was show and tell. Next thing I know, I'm in jail for indecent exposure. The inmates called me the recycler, you know. I would show it to the gay inmates for protection. That's how I survived in there, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:28

I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:29

You know, when they when they brought me back when they brought me in, the dogs would like keep biting at it and stuff, you know. They thought it was a chew toy. You know.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:37

Rattled around.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:38

Rattled around, yeah. But no, this dude was like a pathological liar. At least that's was the like the agreed consensus in the group.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:45

Really? Yeah. That's fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:47

Yeah, right. It's fun when you like find someone to talk shit about and then you get closer to the people you were already quote with.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:54

It's a great bonding thing, is talking shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:56

It really is.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:57

It really is. People don't understand that. Losers.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:00

Dude, losers for real.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:02

Don't understand that.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:03

Dude, I remember like one time he like, we're watching TV and he's like, you know, uh, you tried to say, like, oh yeah, the Pope, you know, the Pope actually has, you know, can decide when to start World War III whenever he wants. He has this button. You know, and we're like, what the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:20

Come get this gash.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:21

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:23

Come fuck my Tootsie Pop.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:25

Oh man, dude. Look at that pussy.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:28

You can't take your eyes off the sweet brown pussy.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:30

Yeah, he's using the uh Tootsie Pop wrapper, poked a hole in it, and is spreading it eagle. Like a nice hot gash.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:38

My hot gash, my tootsie pop gash. I need a fucking shitter back here. There's my poop hole.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:45

Who so this guy actually thinks that the Pope can just start World War III whenever he wants. He said he has like a button.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:53

Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:54

He said he has a button.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:55

How does he?

SPEAKER_02 1:16:56

But he said it like but he said it like fact. He's like, oh yeah, you guys didn't know this?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:59

Like, how do you fucking idiot?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:01

Yeah, like I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:03

Everybody knows the Pope can start World War III.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:05

Yeah, dude. I don't know. Play he kind of had this like NPC vibe to him, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:17:10

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:11

Yeah, like you ever meet someone that like sounds like they're trying to act human?

SPEAKER_07 1:17:15

Yes. You know literally last week. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:18

Yes. It's the worst. And they always just want to talk to you. They won't let you, they won't leave you alone.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:25

Yeah, really.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:26

They gotta tell you about everything. They have to tell you about everything. They're trying to press it on you. Yeah. It's horrible. It's a horrible quality.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:33

Bro, this dude was like, he was like 50 years old, and he was trying to tell me that he has a 30-year-old wife. I'm like, unless she's obese, no, you fucking do not.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:42

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she could. Who knows? Who knows what kind of drug she's into? Meth ladies love an older meth man, I feel like.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:50

Who's this fucking guy, Leonardo DiCaprio, though, dude? 20-year age gap.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:54

It's pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:55

I don't bother. When I do that, I go to jail. Unless she's fat, maybe. That would be my guess. Otherwise, I got beef with God, because what the fuck, bro?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:05

She's probably not necessarily fat, but you wouldn't call her attractive either.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:09

In any sense of the word.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:11

Yeah, that's probably the like the one card he gets to wave is that she's like, she's not totally gross.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:17

And she's young.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:19

Twenty years is kind of crazy though.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:21

But if he's a pathological liar, why are you guys like obviously true?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:25

Well, no, we're saying, like, if it is true, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:29

Would you ever see like did you get visitors?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:33

They weren't allowed to have visitors.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:34

Not allowed to have visitors.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:35

Nah, that part sucked. That part sucked, yeah. I miss my voice.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:41

That would uh that would be fun to see, like, if somebody like you really like you didn't expect some guy to have like a smoking hot wife or something that was in there, and she's got just this fucking babe comes and visits. You're like, who the fuck is she visiting? That would bring everybody together. That would be fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:58

I agree.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:00

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:01

I agree, yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:02

Thanks for the agreements.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:04

After sh shitting on NPCs. Immediately after shitting on NPCs. Uh oh yeah. I wanted Did you see that movie Sinners?

SPEAKER_07 1:19:14

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:15

Was it good?

SPEAKER_07 1:19:15

I actually did. Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:20

You don't know?

SPEAKER_07 1:19:21

Everybody said it was awesome. Because it's like it was its own thing. But just because something's different doesn't mean it's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:28

And I feel like everybody's like, wow, such a unique idea. That doesn't necessarily mean it's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:33

Yeah, that's it was a cool movie. It was cool. I maybe I'd have to see it again, but I had the hot take of like, meh. Okay. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:44

Fair. You know what I I you know what I heard that movie was about? Is uh two gay guy gay guys getting married. Sinners.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:53

Yeah. Pretty much. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:56

I mean it starts yeah it's just like a gay wedding and just the title pops up.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:00

I mean, it's even gay because it's vampires.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:02

Like Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:03

I mean, it's it's a pretty gay movie, if we're gonna be honest with you.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:06

Vampires that suck cum instead of blood.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:08

The the evil white folks that suck all the cool powers out of black people and make them vampires.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:13

You know, yeah. Pretty awesome white devil movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:17

Speaking of marriage though, I gotta be I We're gonna marry. I did I wanted to mention this last pod, but like I gotta be honest, it is like objectively funny that you like forgot to tell your mom about your fucking proposal.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:31

Forgot? Oh. Well, didn't know how to and then just didn't. It was genius. Genius to just leave her yeah and hurt her feelings so bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:41

I'm no genius. Well, no, it's not genius.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:43

I'm just saying, like stupid.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:44

Well, I've done dumb shit before.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:46

That's an all-time dumb thing. That was one of the dumbest moments of my life.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:52

Yeah, yeah, but you know, it's a learning opportunity.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:56

Learning, yeah. Yeah, I've had to call her a lot since then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:59

It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:02

It's alright. It's alright. I don't know. It's alright. One time I tried cutting myself just because I thought it was gonna feel good. I wasn't even depressed at the time. I was like eight, and I was like, oh, it sucks. Yeah, it was pretty dumb. Yeah. So, like, I mean, we all have our moments.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:19

We definitely have our moments.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:22

We'd have our moments.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:23

I'm I have a lot of moments.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:26

You know what I was thinking? It was uh I think it'd be funny if you just like neglected your wife and kids to become a furry.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:34

It would be that would be a that would be a fun turn that nobody would see coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:38

Yes, exactly, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:40

It would be exciting for a lot of people, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:43

Mainly me, probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:44

Yeah, yes, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:45

Not as much for them.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:46

Of course, dude, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:48

But don't they want me to be happy?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:50

So, like That's how you can manipulate it.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:53

Get over it.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:54

You know? That's how you manipulate.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:56

Don't you want Andy to be happy?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:58

You know, you're at the dinner table and you're just like arf, arf. Can you grab me a napkin? Like, mom, dad's scaring me. Hey, that's Captain Fluff to you, boy.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:08

Address me as if I could get her in on the bit, I would do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:12

No, this is a you thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:14

Yeah, no, but if I could get her in on the bit to call me Captain Fluff, then I'd be in on it. She's gonna be a tough sell to get to call me Captain Fluff for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:24

The kid's like, I'm gonna go play with my stuffed animals.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:26

We haven't seen him without his helmet on in three years.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:30

You're like, actually, these are mine now. They're waiting for me in my room for when we have a tea party. They're my friends now. Andy, why is there an$800 charge on my credit card for Joanne Fabrics? I told you I'm building a new wife, and she's gonna be a wolf. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go use the litter box.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:51

I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:52

Are you envisioning this?

SPEAKER_07 1:22:53

I am envisioning it, but I am not house-trained. I she has to take me outside to take a shit. I'm not house-trained. I'm not a house-trained furry. I'm a bad, bad furry. I'll go in the bed. I'm bad. I'm so naughty.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:07

You're in the basement and one of the fucking uh one of the kids comes in. He's like, uh, Dad, tomorrow's career day. Can you come to school with me? He's like, ah. And he just like catches you jerking off to my little pony.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:21

That is my job.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:22

That is your so jerking off to my little pony. Jerking off to my little pony is my job now. So you're already at work, son.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:30

You're like, what did I say about coming into the fox den?

SPEAKER_07 1:23:34

The fox den.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:35

Go play with your sister and tell her I'm picking your squishmallows. You're still there, like pants down, dick and paws.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:42

Dick and paws, yeah. My red rock I have like a red rocket strap-on attachment that I like to rub.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:49

Your wife sits you down, she's like, I'm taking the kids and divorcing you. And you're like, that's fine, but you are not getting my half of the Funko Pops collection.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:58

Don't try to stay away from the Fox Den.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:01

Don't try snooping around as I will be taking inventory. I saw you trying to take Walter White, but good luck trying to open the box because I came it shut. It's encased. It's encased in the sea.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:15

It's been jizzed shut, ma'am. Stay away. Stay away from my lab.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:21

Yeah, dude. But no, being real, I do respect that you like just found a wife randomly by just like sliding on a woman on Clark Street.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:28

Pretty much, yeah. That is cool. Yeah. That is a cool story. Yeah, it's it's so much nicer than we hate to talk shit on a lot of bros, but we met on hinge. Hate to do hate to do that, but I'm so happy that that's not my story. No, that's like this woman, pluck mine.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:42

No, yeah, dude. IRL. I respect it, because whenever I try to do that, they just scream rape at the top of their lungs.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:47

Yeah. Well, I'm a charming bastard. And a charming penis.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:53

I don't know, dude. But I mean, really, basically anything is rape if you ask a woman nowadays.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:58

Ask a woman. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:59

Ask a woman.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:01

Well, if they're talking to you, yeah. I would say yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:03

Me trying to make fucking ignorant points, and I'm stumbling over my retarded? Yeah, really.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:11

Making ignorant points. That should be the tagline of the podcast. Horrible hang, making ignorant points.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:18

Do you like how I compare literally everything to rape too?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:21

You you always find a way to get the rape talk of the week in. You get the incel segment of the week, the rape talk of the week.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:28

It kind of takes the oomph out of rape, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:31

It yeah, it takes the oomph out of something, for sure. I don't know if it's the room, or if it's the listeners, their cars, or if it's my ass.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:43

No, you get you'll get used to it.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:48

You just think about rape a lot, I feel like.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:50

I mean, I just can I use I like using it as a metaphor. I'm an extremist, you know what I mean? And rape is up there on the end of extreme, you know what I mean? So I can't so if I get fucked over, or I feel like I get fucked over, whatever, I can't just say I got fucked over. I need to say I got fucked, I got raped. You know what I mean? I'm an extremist. You see how that works?

SPEAKER_07 1:26:13

I I'm seeing how that works, yeah. You you like to really get the point across.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:21

Yeah, I do. I do like to get the point across.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:23

And the best way for you to get a point across is with rape.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:27

Yes. See? I understand.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:30

You know, that's we broke you down.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:32

You need to hear the extremes sometimes to grab people's attention.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:35

You need to hear the extremes.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:37

I was thinking about this uh the other day. You know, uh Oh boy. Oh boy. Being a Jew in the Holocaust must have been hard, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:48

Generally, that's the take, is it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:52

Imagine trying to be complain about your back while having to be completely silent.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:58

That would be quite a quite a quite quandary.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:01

Is that a flop?

SPEAKER_07 1:27:02

For the average Jewish man.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:03

Is that a flop? I need to know.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:08

Why you have to be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:10

Because they're hiding from the Nazis.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:12

I get that, yeah. I feel like there's a well, maybe while you're so high, I don't know. Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:18

We're work shopping here.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:19

We're workshopping.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:22

I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:24

Hard to complain about the shower temperature as you melt away. Okay, so I see you're saying there's just a different You didn't completely the silent right away?

SPEAKER_02 1:27:34

Yeah. Okay, alright.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:36

I felt like you're too much of a walk to get there. Okay. It needs to be more blunt.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:41

Especially for your nonchalant matter of fact delivery. Do you know what would be bad if you were Jewish in the house I don't know, probably the whole thing? I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:56

Uh yeah, I don't know, dude. I don't know. Thought about maybe trying it on stage. Maybe I'll work on it.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:03

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:04

Alright, man. Um fucking we got a little bit of time left. You doing alright?

SPEAKER_07 1:28:09

Yeah, I'm doing alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:11

Alright. You see mellow.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:12

I'm pretty mellow right now. I'm pretty chill. I'm relaxed in this den. It's very hot.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:18

Is it hot? I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:19

I'm hot. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:20

It's gotten warm last few weeks.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:22

I've gotten softer. Like the last time we recorded. I have central air now, not a big deal, so I've kind of gotten soft to the heat. Gotcha. It's ruining me as a it's not your fault.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:31

You getting those humidity boners?

SPEAKER_07 1:28:33

The humidity boners have kind of subsided this year. It's kind of causing a little bit of fear in me. Well, you're getting pussy. To be honest. I'm getting it. I'm getting by. Okay. I'm not getting, I'm getting by. Okay. You know?

SPEAKER_02 1:28:44

You're not starving though.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:46

Not starv starving is yeah, not starving. Starving would be extreme. Hungry, you could say. I'm hungry. But this is what it is. You get married, it's it's over.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:57

I mean you haven't gotten married yet.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:58

No. We might as well be. We live together.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:01

You know, that ring should buy you a certain, you know It should buy you a degree. Trial. Not trial, but like you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:29:09

Yeah, a trial, yeah. Trial, okay. A trial, a free trial. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:14

Fuck dude. You know, um, I don't know. I thought about this while I was in there.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:19

I am in the midst of a of uh no PMO. No porn masturbation orgasm. Oh, really? I'm in the midst of that. Okay. Yeah. It's kind of a stress test.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:29

Should I stay six feet away from you then?

SPEAKER_07 1:29:31

No, I think I'm starting to grapple with myself and trying to control every fiber of my being. Okay. Which the dick is the hardest to control.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:38

I do respect it.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:40

It's it's a battle. It's a fun challenge and it's a battle. Okay. Every day to not masturbate to completion.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:47

You know what else is a fun challenge?

SPEAKER_07 1:29:48

To anything. What is a fun challenge?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:50

To get really high and then you turn it off and your dick gets really hard, and then you pretend like it's a dragon, and then the only way to slay the dragon is to, you know, to jerk off the jerk off your dragon, your dragon. Yeah. That's a fun game I used to play when I was first getting high in high school. Really? Jack Off games? Jack Off games, play the dragon.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:11

Jack off games. Welcome to the 14th annual Jack Off Games. Here we have the most creative bastard of them all, Coyle. Doing his rendition of the dragon penis game masturbation while stoned out of his gazoid.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:29

You know what I was thinking about, dude?

SPEAKER_07 1:30:31

Begin your stroke. Oh, it's a mighty big dragon this time.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:42

It's a big one. It's a big one.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:44

Do you see how he's rubbing and he's starting at the base as to not anger the dragon? Yes. The low towards the root of the penis. He's down there grabbing right by the balls the root of the penis, stroking it in a bit of a micro stroke, one one might say. And now he's moving up towards the head, grabbing every vein along the way. He's a skilled masturbator, this one. He's done a lot of practice here. He's gotten stoned and masturbated quite a bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:14

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:16

Oh yes, he says. As he comes near completion already. Such an efficient jerker, this coil. He's incredible. Is he getting close? I think he's getting quite close to coming over there. Oh yes, I'm getting quite close. The dragon looks like it's nearly slain. Nearly slain. As he frantically stroll for the perfect picture to bust to throughout his gallery, he's typing in vigorously. It looks to me like he's saying, Angelo White, threesome, black guy. Is that what it is? Oh, and he's oh he's so close! He's so cl oh, he just came.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:53

He just came. Well, that's the end.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:56

That's the end of this national jerkoff game broadcast. Catch you next week, Kant.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:03

I like that. I like that one.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:05

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:06

Thank you. You know what I was thinking about? What if you do what if there's just like you're in the shower, there's just like a load of cum going down the drain, and then just like uh playing is just like who can say where the load goes?

SPEAKER_07 1:32:27

I don't know. The drain. I do like that. I was kind of imagining it getting stuck in like the uh the fuzzies by Jizz in the shower. There's always some cum and the fuzzies that were in my feet for my socks all day. It always intertwines and then kind of causes a little bit of a backup and a damming situation.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:46

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:47

I've got cum like beavers.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:51

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:52

Because of dams.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:53

I'm the kind of guy that'll uh I'm the kind of guy that'll sing high notes and then call you a faggot. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:32:59

You've always been.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:00

Yeah, that's how I like it's who you were at birth.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:02

Sing high notes and call people gay.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:05

Yeah. Not a lot of evolution.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:09

You know?

SPEAKER_07 1:33:09

It's such a beautiful archetype of a man.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:15

To only sing high notes and only call people the F slur.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:20

And sing the F high, F sharp. Is that a high note? I don't know. I don't know, man. Do you know anything? I don't know shit, dude. I'm lost.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:29

You know what else I was thinking about too? I was thinking about like Probably some big tits. Yes, some big tits, always. Nice. But no, I'm thinking about I'm thinking about the image of like a shit being like dropping into the toilet water, but from the camera point of view of inside the water, kind of like the uh album cover of Nevermind, but instead of the baby, it's like a shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:54

It's a shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:55

I just like that, like just coming in like a torpedo, you know what I mean? I You getting the vision?

SPEAKER_07 1:34:01

I have a vision. Okay. And it just struck a chord with me that on Friday I had done the nastiest bathroom deed I've done in a long time.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:08

Oh, really? Do tell.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:10

I have a picture. I had a build-up of a d of a dir of a turd, of a doinker. Okay. Big doinky turd. And I was at sh at a nondescript warehouse working, and they had given us permission to use the restroom. And in this particular porcelain throne, the water only filled really the chute of the toilet, like the whole part, and it did not kind of give full coverage of the bowl, up to about halfway, which I believe that there should be more coverage of a bowl.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:44

And I had took the shit, and none of it had hit the water because most of the bowl was completely wide open, and I had this big soft serve dump that then was because it was so thick and built up that it just sat there. Oh no. Through multiple flushes.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:05

Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:06

Dude, yeah, you're relying on like the running water to try of an old 1980s toilet to bring it down. Thank God they had a brush there, and I took the brush and kind of nudged the soft serve mountain, and it had the same consistency of a soft serve. It truly was it was a good. If you would have stepped into it, your shoe would have gone. Just like that. It was disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:31

Those damn one-gallon toilets, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:33

The smallest water radius I've ever seen in a toilet. It was only in the neck.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:39

Not the proper equipment for a big shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:41

No, no, no, no, no. Not even close. To the big shit like me with a greasy sandwich. A cigarette in my system. Oh yeah. Naughty naughty. Oh, yeah. A large black cold brew. It had everything. Oh yeah. It had some slices of pie from the night before. It had pizza, pizza pie. It had everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:02

Nice, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:03

Soft served turd. So I had to I was in that bathroom for about 20 minutes cleaning it up. Yeah, I meant to- I told my compadre I was working with, I'm bringing the dude wipes because I know what's happening here.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:14

Thank God. Yeah, they're thank god.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:16

Yeah, I gotta start bringing some fucking wipes around and shit. I I didn't realize so many people did that.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:22

You have to because you can't use them in your own toilet because they fuck up the pipes.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:25

So you have to fuck up somebody else's pipe.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:28

Well they also have if you go out like a public place, they have those industrial toilets.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:31

As long as they don't have Nah, this is not an industrial toilet. As long as they don't have the sign up though, even if they do have the sign, I'm still dude wiping, brother.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:40

Gotcha, okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:41

I'm gonna have a clean butt. I just am. I deserve that privilege in life. A clean ass. A clean ass. It's a privilege. Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:50

Dude. Clean ass. Yeah, dude. I didn't get to use my bidet at all when I was in rehab. That shit sucked.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:58

That was what you really missed, huh?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:00

That was one of the things I missed most.

unknown 1:37:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:02

The bidet. It had a profound imp it's had a profound impact on your life, I feel like. Do you believe that you ha walk around with a cleaner ass today than you did two years ago?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:11

Oh, absolutely, dude. Wow. I have a sense of elitism because I have a cleaner assistant than most others.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:16

It's uplifting to have a clean asshole.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:19

It is.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:19

I like the wipes because I can really get in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:21

I don't care how much money you make, I have a cleaner asshole.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:24

I trust these union hands to get into my ass and clean it the fuck out.

unknown 1:37:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:28

We can go we can go ass for ass, hair for hair, on who's is cleaner right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:32

Well, you got all that hair down there. It's probably dirtier.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:35

It's a big sitch. It's a big, big situation down there.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:38

Probably just have dried shit matted into your ass hair.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:41

Not anymore, sister.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:43

Not anymore.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:43

Dude wiped sponsoring.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:49

Looks like that. Just the giant chunks of hair.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:53

If you the smell that my ass hair would must produce has to be insane. Oh, dude. And I'm just walking around used to it. That woman loves me. That's the only way that I could describe it.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:06

Just this fucking entanglement of shit in hair being squeezed constantly, like a like you're squeezing a piece of play-doh or something.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:14

The thing about hair is it grows, brother. It just continuously grows.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:18

Into like a long dread.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:19

I've got dread. I've got kind of a like a early 2000s rock band cut on my hole right now. Okay. Like a rock star from the early 2000s. On my dirt star. Yeah, on your dirt star. Just chillin'. Your chocolate stuff. It's fucking disgusting. I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:44

I would agree. I would agree.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:46

It's gotta kinda look a lot like the sucker, actually.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:51

Bro, I was dude, I was thinking this off topic again. Changing it up again. But no, I wanted to I think I want to get back into video games. Did you ever get into video games?

SPEAKER_07 1:39:01

Video games rule.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:02

Dude, like, I mean I only played like a few, but it's like I like the idea of like the escape ism of it. You know, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:08

I know that there's a new Grand Theft Auto next year. I think it's next year it's coming out. They've been saying that for like five years, but yeah, I've heard that. That would be actually if you're gonna get back in, I feel like that's the one. Okay. Grand Theft Auto rules.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:20

Okay. I have an old, I have like my brother's old 360 too. I'm like, yeah, 360 ruled. So I might just you know dip my toes in the water with that. And it's like I know I've shit on game gamers like before, but like I'm talking about like the ones that like make it their entire person.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:36

Well the culture's gay. You know, yeah, it is culture's gay as hell.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:40

And like the one people who make it their entire you know, thing. You know what I mean? The like the ones pissing in bottles and shitting in diapers so they can keep playing. Sessions, you know. Those guys rule. Those guys rule.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:53

Respectfully disagree.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:56

If you love anything so much to shit your pants, you fucking rule, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:01

Maybe the gaming is just a cover up for a shit fetish. What about that? You never know.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:08

You never know is the one thing. But I would say I would say those that's a Venn diagram that has a lot of overlap. If I had to ask gamers and shit fetish, I'd say over I'd say that's got a little more than a little bit of overlap.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:20

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:21

Which is respectable and commendable.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:24

Mike, you're never gonna get a job if you keep shitting yourself all the time. But it's fun.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:29

But the new drop happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:32

My ass cheeks feel cold if there's not a fresh shit in between them.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:39

Yeah. I love a good warm ass.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:42

Nice warm ass, bro. I don't know. I was even thinking, like some old 360 games, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:49

When I uh do this thing. When I get swampy is when I'm at my most angry. If I'm ever really grumpy, it's probably just because my ass has got a little swamp to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:01

If it yeah, if I got too much swamp going on and gets itchy, that puts me in a bad mood.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:05

It uh it's not even something I can control. I just kind of notice that like, why are you just turning into a dick right now? Your ass must be fucked up. Yeah. Your ass must be moist. Yeah. Moist ass is bad for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:18

Uh alright. I think I'm gonna wrap it up.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:20

Alright. Put a condom on it.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:23

Put a condom on it, put a pin in it.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:25

Put a dick to something.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:26

Is it gonna be another three months before I get you over here again?

SPEAKER_07 1:41:28

Probably. No.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:31

Alright. Well gay sex. Gay sex. Uh how about this one right before we leave? Oh, here we go. Okay. How about uh instead of Edward Scissor hands, it's N word hands. Yes!

SPEAKER_01 1:41:47

Edward hands. Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:52

Is that the name of the episode?

SPEAKER_01 1:41:54

Uh that might be a total text.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:57

Spell it. Write it.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:00

Write the whole thing. Write it down. No censoring.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:03

No censoring.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:05

I gotta figure out the soundboard so I'm not double hitting and fucking hitting other buttons.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:09

You've got fat fingers or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:11

I don't I really don't have fat fingers. I got like little bitch fingers.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:15

You've got European hands. I'm gonna call it European hands. European hands. Your hands look like they should be bigger.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:23

Yeah. Your fingers, I don't know. Your fingers look long, but they also look too short. If that makes that doesn't make any sense. They look oblong, but they look too short.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:35

I think I have beautiful hands.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:37

You know, beauty's in the eye of beauty's in the eye of the fag. Like they always say.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:43

I've been told I have nice hands by a woman before.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:46

A women? Yeah, a woman by the five. Fuck yeah. A woman is pretty it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:51

I've never been given any kind of compliments on my hands before.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:55

Well, that's because you're not fucking gay like me.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:58

I've got awesome man hands that aren't attractive. Yeah. They're used for hitting.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:04

You got blue collar hands.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:05

Blue collar hands. My hands look like this, so her dick gets sucked.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:10

Yup. That's what it's all about, brother. Working hard. Working hard. Dirty hands, clean money.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:18

Alright, we're at a hour forty-three, so. Alright, tits.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:24

Tits.